Giggly Squad - Giggling about testosterone, mullets, and spray tans

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

Paige is activated and Hannah shares a life changing discovery. subscribe to our newsletterwatch on youtube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Got away from me? Can I just say? What happened to hello? How are you?

How are you? My Galileo Gigglers. Thank you. Now proceed. I just want to give a shout out to last pod. We started off with a news alert. Yeah. What was crazy is we had finished recording.

We put our podcast equipment down. and the video was just playing. And we were just chatting. We were just chatting. And I told Grace, like, can you just cut that into a clip? And, you know, it's crazy. You couldn't tell if we were podcasting or not. Because, like, we're the same.

Like, it's something to be said about, like, our friendship. Can I tell you what I'm actually most pissed about in that, like, situation? The engagement Us Weekly got from the Gigglers. I can't watch for the follow-up about my UTIs. They're going to be in a staff meeting and be like, number one article this week, Paige Sorbo's UTI. My comic got 17,000 likes. Even when I say something funny, I can't get that many likes.

And do you want to know what's pissing me off the most about it was I was waiting until this episode to bring up that I went past my four-month mark and have not gotten a UTI? But I don't want them writing a follow-off. I think it deserves a follow-up because people are. are hanging on the edge of their seats right now about your UTIs. And if you're going to live or die. Also, us weekly, we have to next time tell the gigglers not to comment on their stuff because it's like, you can't reward bad behavior. No, you can't.

I'm like, guys. Can any like sleuthers see if Paige actually? This is the problem. I can't tell if you're right or not because you've lied since and told me you have a UTI about certain times. You literally this week lied to someone. about a migraine. Okay, I felt one coming on.

How did you know about that? Wait, who told you about that? I know everything. I have eyes everywhere. I have eyes everywhere. That actually wasn't a lie. I got off my flight and it was like my head hurts. There was a chance of migraine. Who told you that little rats?

When anything happens to you, I know who told you. I know what happened to you. They assume I either know I'm in on it. or should know. So anyway, you're not alone in this life. Oh my God. Can't a girl just get a migraine months and a while, you know? Oh, so I have to set the stage for the giggler set the scene.

It's 10 p.m. I'm in my Daphne, no pants, ready to go to bed. Did get a spray tan, so I'm feeling myself. But Paige is in full glam, had a full day in Hollywood doing Hollywood things. I'm in my full, Daphne. I got a spray tan yesterday Yours is a little darker than mine Okay so I went a little dark

Because I was like it has to last till Sunday I'm obsessed with this woman She was she was an artist She wasn't a spray tan person She was an artist And as a spray tan artist It takes one to no one It takes one to no one

Game recognizes game She said to me at the end like Look a lot of girls don't like to like sit in it anymore Because they're used to like the quick The express And I'm like I love me marinating and she's like eight to ten hours and I said honey I love laying in bed for eight to ten hours I got you so what made her what differentiated her mixing up her own stuff okay

a potion just throwing a bottle in there mixing up her own stuff and then her technique was it was a ballet it was truly it was a woman in arts you love a soft touch you love a soft touch I love a soft touch Um, she was like, also I feel no pain when it comes to beauty. Like she's like, it's really cold. And I'm like, literally do whatever you need to do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I had my America's next step model week where I got it.

Okay. You know what's crazy is like, this is a normal week for me. This is, yeah, this is your like days off. Yeah. This is my hobby. Paige, this is so me. So I'm walking trying to get, trying to. trying to find this facial place.

And as you know, I just Googled. And I liked the photo of some place. And these gigglers stopped me. They said, Hannah, what are you doing? Because I was just lost on a corner. Normally when people see me, I'm doing something weird. I was literally like turning around lost. And they're like, what are you looking for?

And I'm like, I'm trying to find this place. And they were like, oh, are you going to this facialist? And I'm like, never heard of them before. And they're like, we're the best. You should have. And I'm like, well, you should have told me before I booked this. Yeah. So I get to the place.

It's locked. Also, it was like in the back of a back alley. No one's there. She ends up texting me and like arrives to open the place. And I'm like, okay, this is, okay. We get the worm. Okay. This was 5 p.m.

But I got dermaplained. She did cut me a little. Okay. By the nose. But I presume that's a risk that you take whenever you get dermapalined. Maybe. Then I go to. to get my nails done. When I tell you, it was like an S&L sketch, she looks at me and she goes,

you have a lot of skin. I thought I've hit every insecurity a person could have. I'm like, what does that mean? I have a lot of skin. Wait, what does that mean? I feel like she was taking out the cuticles and I guess it was like taking forever. Okay. I don't know. I didn't have a follow up. I said, sorry. As you do. What do you say? I said, I am so sorry, miss. You're like, Like I got it from my dad. I don't know. And then you know I hate like getting stuff done. So she was like, do you want a pedicure?

And you know that I need a pedicure. But you know that I don't want to sit for a pedicure. So I was like, oh, no, thank you. I don't have time. But she was, you could tell she wanted me to do more things. So then she started being like chin wax. I was like, okay, ma'am. She's an eyebrow wax.

But you want to know what? I want who is ever performing something on me. to have no boundaries. Yes. Like she was literally looking me up and down being like, you can't leave here. We have work to do. And I kept saying thank you, but no thank you.

Noted. Noted. But then I got dermaplained and she got my beard off. And then I got a spray tan and I leave tomorrow morning for Toronto. And we pray. Yeah, I was just going to say and we're saying our prayers.

But I was going to say, I feel a lot less stress because the first Netflix special was the unknown. I didn't know what I signed up for I was scared now I've been in Hollywood baby I've been in this business we're both taking beta blockers this weekend multiple yeah you can't help with the adrenaline to start pumping right I'm excited anyway how is L.A you know L.A is L.A I did something real I hate that I'm even going to say this I did something really cool today but I like can't say what it was and I can say in like a

couple weeks I hate when people say that but let me just put like a top line on it it was my You want to know what? Where I went, my phone was taped. So, like, I couldn't take any pictures or anything. And I looked at everyone with me. And I was like, guys, have we ever been more in the moment than we are right now? Like, it actually was so nice because none of us had our phones. And so we were all just, like, looking at each other like, this is crazy.

Like, I can't believe we're doing this. It was like a field trip. Yeah, it was a literal field trip. And, like, Miss Frizzle was there. Like, it was so much. fun. Speaking of third grade, I was getting DMs saying that people were making fun of you because you said, remember when we learned the alphabet in third grade.

I know. They were like, oh, middle school. Guys, you know what the fuck I meant. Okay? Get the hell out of my DMs with that bullshit. I'm worked up tonight. Oh, yes. Go off.

Okay. Last time we recorded when we were talking about like the hockey thing, I like hadn't really seen the full video like I like saw like a clip of it like I knew it was going on but I didn't like really really know until you were like and you describe all our sports to us I'm on the ground now the aftermath of the men make it first of all no men should be making videos videos are for girls TikTok is for girls the men making videos being like you guys are overreacting. You know what it also is?

It's literally just, I had to be like, the patriarchy, but it's a bunch of men being like, girls have cooties, let's not invite the girls. And then all the men just hanging out together being like sucking each other's dicks. Like, it's,

they're so scared of women being good at something. It's also so funny that they're so dumb to not even understand the nuance of it. Like their rebuttal being like, but the men like, publicly were so like they went to the girls games and they were so supportive and we're like right that's the fucking point that we're trying to make publicly you thought that like that was okay but behind closed doors so all your public shit negated it like we only care about gay hockey players which

i'm sure half of you are like that's why you're so mad at us yeah and then i don't know if you saw clips of like wait and never did i think that flava flave was going to be one of the number one feminist in the year 2026. I mean, what is happening? What is literally happening? Do you know Eileen Gou, the skier? I don't. I'm proud of her. She's like a

super model. She's like a super you love her. She looks like a supermodal. Is this a girl that's like 22 years old and is like so fucking smart and like her answer. And they're talking about neuroplasticity. And the guys are like, what is make bad jokes? Also, look, I'm the first one who loves a joke. Not a good joke. It's like,

we're not in elementary school like let's not avoid the girls like good one it's also like guys it took you 40 years you're losers like like i was talking to a guy about this and he was like well i don't know if you understand that like it's like a big game because it's 40 years i'm like do i understand that they've sucked for 40 years no i get that you're like also as we're seeing in a lot of these sports i always say like i'm not saying men and women are the same they're different and that's That's okay, but they should be treated with equal respect. And different sometimes means that people enjoy watching women's sports more. For example, some people love watching women's tennis more than men's tennis because it's more complicated in terms of strategy because their serves aren't as big.

So it's not just holding serve. With girls tennis, crazier stuff happens. It's more entertaining. There's longer points. And like women's golf, people like to see. There's just like so many different things. And women's basketball also, there's reasons people like it more. And as we're getting more visibility, the men better watch out.

They better watch out. Don't you have a fucking mom? Call your mom and say this. But this is the thing. I'm so sick of these men being like, I didn't know. And then I had a daughter. You shouldn't have to have a fucking daughter. Ooh, girl.

That is so annoying. And also I personally, like a lot of these athlete men, knock at people and I've heard a lot of women and I'm not matched generalizing but raise your hand if you've been personally victimized Also not to like take this to a serious note but like the whole like not all men I don't have a single friend

I do not have one single female friend who has not been in a situation where a man either inappropriately touched her did something to her I'm getting a spray tan and the woman's telling me how she had to leave her last job because the guy was hitting on her and she didn't hit on him back and she couldn't tell his boss because the boss was creepier than him.

And it's so crazy you said that because yes, some guy, there was a podcast going around and the guy was like, yeah, like I got brokenhearted. Like, what's the worst thing that happened to you? And the girl was like, I was assaulted. And the girl next door goes, so was I. One time I was in college and I went to this job interview for like an internship and the boss of like i was at a news station like this was like a local fucking news station and the head of the like the head of the news i had to meet with like the director whatever i don't even know what his

goddamn title was he made me so uncomfortable that i i walked out was in the parking lot started crying called my mom immediately drove to school went into my like professor's office who like sets up all the interviews told it would thank god it was a woman told her what happened she immediately got up on the phone called him and was like our school will never participate in any of your internships moving forward like you're done because i was like i don't want any girl ever going and working there and then while i'm in the interview mind you i'm like 19 years old when i'm in the interview one of the male news anchors Facebook messages me I really hope you work here I was like yo what the fuck goes on at this news station it was and this was in my hometown like I was so uncomfortable

I ended up going and working at a different news station but that's a great example of like an environment that they're creating that it's okay for men to act like that yeah and that was literally what we're watching on TV a bunch of men just being like who gives a fuck if the women feel Disrespected. Who gives a fuck if they're the butt of the joke? We don't give a fuck. And that was my first time ever having that happen with a man in the workplace. Then I went to New York City and the guy threw his keys on me. But I digress. You know, that was like... Honestly, we're not even going to get... We'll get to our super traumatic stories another day. We're trying to... It's Friday, baby. But I will say. No, I actually will say this made me really, really, really. really be so excited to raise a son, like beyond excited.

Because I'm like, this generation, like us being moms and having sons, that's it. We're done. Like, it's over. There's no more of like your bullshit. Like, girls aren't as good. Like, it's really what it is is the men see us as like second class citizens. Like they do not see us as equal.

None of them. They don't. Anyway, so one more thing about the men. Who the fuck told you guys that you're good looking enough to have a goddamn mullet. Enough. Enough. Well, they're overcompensating. You look like imbecils.

You literally look like rats. The mullet guys are just trying to distract from something. Either a bad personality, bad things they're doing that they don't want you to see. They're like, look, I'm silly. I have a mullet. while they're like literally being the worst person in the world. It's just like, it's also just like disgusting. Like you look stupid.

But again, that's for other men. They get mootts for other men, which you know what is. It's like a weird peacocking, like, symbol thing. Wait, men love, like, impressing other men and it's so freaking weird. But I do have to say, I thought that this generation of Gen Z boys was going to be amazing because the millennials, we had such a strong. Well, it's backfired because they think the women are like trying to take their jobs where it's like, no one's trying to take your job.

You got to go to college first to get a job. You got to talk to people to get a job. The men are dropping out of college at an egregious rate. It's insane. Because they just want it handed to them. The girls, we've just been taught to like work hard if we want to make our dreams come true. So anyway, I digress. Speaking of men, though.

I'm like a really, like I'm in a really man. You're jacked up. Speaking of men, I was in St. Louis. When I tell you, there's two men who are so handsome in the second row of my show, like, you can, they're sitting, I can tell their six three. You can tell a strong torso. I can tell that these women stand up and it's going to be like, cross off. I can know.

I can spot a torso from a mile away. And these men, their shoulders, Jack. and their chiseled jaw lines. And this is Missouri, so they're just wearing, you know, normal Midwest clothes. And I'm so fucking full of myself. I'm like, okay, the two hottest men in Missouri were like, we have to go see the Hannah-Berner show. And I would have called them out in the beginning, but they're so hot.

I was like, didn't want to get them angry. I got nervous. I did. I did. At one point, I was like, they keep staring at me. This is crazy. They're obsessed with me. They're obsessed.

Like the whole show, staring at me. And then towards the end, I finally am like, look, I have to say it. Everyone feels weird. Why are you two sitting next to each other? Because, you know, we don't like when two men sit next to each other at the show. They form alliances. It makes people uncomfortable. And I go, and they just are looking at me stern, handsome, gorgeous.

And I go, you two better be fucking each other. Were they? And they both are like, we are. Thank God. They look like the two football players in a. rom-com that are just like the stars of the football team sitting next to each other googly eye over me and i said thank you for coming to my show um how did you guys meet and they were like at the gym and i was like i know your bodies are gorgeous i can tell under your shirts

and they i said how did you like approach each other in the locker room and they were like i gave him a look and i realize straight girls are not aware of the gay look that is rampant rampant so you can see when the look happens I feel like no Hannah this is not even just in my imagination I feel like I've watched straight guys do it where I'm like to other gay men yeah because there's a look they give which is big like straight girls you don't we don't have it in our repertoire

like will I fuck but like there's a whole different gay male gaze that they communicate with each other on a different wave like because I think that I think that they do it quicker than like a straight girl and a straight guy like I fucking because they had to. There's so many men that have, yeah, that have to be like DL that it's so quick. I was in a situation one time and I was like convinced that the guy I was dating was like making out. I can't even get into it.

I actually can't even get into it because you know what? What's wrong with me that I was like and that's fine. And that's okay. Like, and I'll stay. It's actually a great question. That's right. You know,

I think it was like, I was just so emotionally unavailable, but I wouldn't admit it. But you know what? I get so many messages from girls who were like, I hate him. He's mean to me.

I don't like his friends. Like, give me all these reasons. And then they're like, should I break up? Like, I'm like, you've given me no pros in this list you've given me.

I'm like, okay. So he murdered my daughter. but like he was old um should i say my studies are in his car i was going to say this is like the first time i've been away from kitty in a while oh babe i'm sorry and i'm doing okay but kitty you're tearing up no kitty has wreaked havoc for two days straight because she's like where the fuck is my mom And I know that she's wreaking havoc because I know her type of revenge and it's, I'll shit in your bed. I'll shit in your bed until my mom comes home.

Cats take on their owner's personality. She has Sicilian revenge. She's very vengeful. Low-key proud of her. I'm like, yeah, make your mark, girl. Let it be known that you're pissed. I'm like, I wish I could text her and be like, I'll be home in five days. I try to FaceTime her, but no, like I feel so bad for Kitty.

Maybe I'll go over and see her, but I have to go to Toronto. Both their moms are working. You know what's funny, too, is like my cat's name is Kitty. Like, everyone that comes over and knows Daphne, like, we'll be like, what's up, kitty? You talk about her calling her Daphne, but to her face, you call her Kitty. Kitty. Well, yeah, that's her government name is Daphne. But at home, she's kidding.

Listening to us. My favorite thing about cats, and I saw this meme recently, and it's so fucking true, is dogs will be like, what are we doing? Where are we going? What are we doing? Like following you around where cats just happen to be in the same room as you all the time. No, kitty's always like, oh, I didn't know you were in the bedroom. I just turned on her sleeping on the bed next to me, but she was sleeping on the couch a second ago. She just happened.

They're just the best. I wish we could see like an actual stat, like a real number of how many girls have gotten cats because of this podcast. I mean, it's got to be over. It's got to be over 150. There's been a beta blocker and feline adoption rate spike in 2025. No, the feline rate is. Did I say feline rate? I love that.

Also, did you see Benny Blanco? What'd he do? So he's launching a podcast coming for our jobs. By himself or with a co-host? I actually don't know those details, but there's a clip going around of him. He has no shoes on, which like, whatever, like, get your views. He's barefoot. But the bottom of his feet are like black.

And then he, like, farts on Selena Gomez's couch. So there's just like a clip going viral being like, Benny's dirty and farting on Selena's couch. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Actually, don't even Google it. You'll get upset. Coming for your brand.

Second of, we talk about writing. Okay. You've listened to one episode of Giggly Squad. You're like, the girl's love. Yeah. When you say farted on the couch, like they're recording the pod. Yeah, he was like, can the microphone pick up this? And he let out a fart that was actually so dainty and high pitch.

I got the ick. If you're going to fart, fart like a grown-up. Like, fart like you ate a full meal. Don't fart like my cat. Bodily functions. It's natural. It's human. The fart was the least worst part about it. The feet being dirty, that's disgusting. Well, this is the thing. We all know that he has trillions of dollars. There's no excuse. And even if your feet are dirty, put on a

flip-flop. No, just go in the shower, run the water, and it'll literally, it'll literally, it was just, I was just going viral, but then also like, sometimes if I'm, I mean, if I'm like in my apartment, like, I don't care, whatever, but if I walk, I'm not really walking anywhere bare feet, but like in the summer, if I'm going outside and I'm like outside and like, whatever, and I come back into my house or something. You're like, if I ever went outside. If I, like, enjoyed nature for a minute. And I came back inside. Before I get in my bed, I'm rinsing my feet. Even if I'm not showering, even if I've showered that morning.

I'm doing a full shower always. If I spill ketchup on my knee, I'm taking a full shower. If I could catch up behind my fingernails, I'm taking a full shower. Yeah, I don't want to see this clip, actually. I think she's not a gasp. I think she's like, yeah, I didn't marry this guy because he was clean. Right. He never tricked her and like he was like Glenn Powell who looks like he showers every second.

I've had multiple boyfriends who will not fart in front of me. Paige, I am so sorry. That is gay. That is, they're not establishing dominance. A man farting is the only way he establishes his dominance. But you know how I respond. Stronger. I'm almost like, is it me?

You make him so anxious. can't fart. Do I make them so nervous that they're like, they're like, this will actually, she'll leave. She'll never talk to me again. I'm like, whatever, keep that energy. When we've been in the green room and you know I have my nervous poops and then you have to go to the bathroom and you get upset, that's some of my biggest joy is watching

get worked up. And because sometimes you, no, because, Hannah, there's so many situations where you fully hotbox me. And I'm like, you didn't have to do this. him. You're like mid panic attack. And I'm like, you just farted in my mouth. I'm like, did you have Doritos today?

I'm like, I'm trying to distract you. Kim Kardashian, lazy, never works. Yeah. Put out an energy drink. Where does she find the time? No, wait, where does she find the time? But it got me thinking. because I feel like everyone has an energy drink nowadays.

We should come out with a sleepy drink. Or we put out an energy drink, but for girls who, like, you don't actually want too much energy, you just want enough to, like, get out of your depression, but you don't want too much that you're, like, jittery. So it's just called, like, a little bit of energy. A small bit. See, I think we should come out with a drink that makes you fully comatose.

I know, but that scares me. Like a liquid melatonin. I know, but someone, you know, like, sleep drinks, were really in for a while, they're like, this is my drink for sleep. I have, I have, oh, like, sleepy. Oh, because people were putting, like, magnesium in it. I actually still, every once in a while we'll do that. I would say, like, once a week I have magnesium in a drink.

I put on the golf channel, and I listen to them go. Yeah, that'll get you right. Jim, we're approaching the fourth tea. You're literally. It's funny, like, because you love your grandpa so much. You are my grandpa. Like, I don't. have a grandpa. I haven't had a grandpa since I was four years old, but if I had to think of what a

grandpa would be like right now, it's you for me. You're like, hey, do you want to go to the U.S. Open? I'm like, not really, but okay, I'll go because you like it. And we'll have some jokes. Yeah. You're like, I could teach you tennis. I'm like, okay, grandpa. And then I'm like, watch me play some tennis. And you're like, grandpa. No, literally, watching you play, no, I'm actually not going to talk bad about that because I love watching you play tennis because I love sitting. It's my art. Yeah, I'm like, look at her having fun. I think it's actually the prettiest I ever am when I'm playing tennis.

It's like the one time I like look put together. No, you're a ballerina. You're doing a performance. It is performance art. It's a choreography. I don't want to bring this up because it's upsetting, but I'm going to bring it up. Have you seen all the punch the monkey stuff? Yeah.

Why are they putting his footage out? Like, I can't handle it emotionally. They're distracting us from all the other fucked up shit that's going on. Did you see the new White Lotus cast announcement? No, I didn't. So what's crazy about it is somehow every season, they literally cast the exact same people but different fonts. Wait, I'm going to look it up right now. Which makes me, you kind of like it because it's like a formula,

but I'm like, how did he find the perfect person who's just like the other guy? What season is this even now? Season four? I think four. Helena, I never know how to say her name. Helena Bonham Carter. Yep. She's just perfect for whatever he's putting her.

Whatever her role is, it's going to be perfect. A.J. McCalla. Is that the Allie and AJ? It's AJ? Oh my God, good for her. She's perfect because she reminds me. They all just, they fit perfectly. Then there's always like, Steve Coogan, he's definitely European.

That's not an American-looking man. Yes, I've seen him in movies. So they always need like a British guy. He's in that, he's in a Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg movie. That's what I know him from. And Ari Greiner, I know her. What is she from? something I know her from.

And then Alexander Ludwig, Ludwig, I don't know how they say it, is just like the classic hot guy. Ari Greiner, you know, she changes her hair color a lot. I know her from something. She was in bad teacher. She was in... Yes, I'm used to her being

blonde. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, this is going to be so good. So we're locked in. I do have to say, remember we're like, oh, people who are on reality TV and like, who's gone on to be successful? Shout out. to Mike White. Yep.

Mike fucking White. Okay. Put some respect on his name. Good. There's hope for us yet. There's hope for us yet. Oh. So there was a blizzard in New York City this last weekend.

And people were upset that they're still making the news people go into the blizzard to be like, hey, there's a blizzard. And then they get like hit in the face with like, part for the course. As a journalist, what is your opinion? So you don't think they could just be by a window, be like, hey, yeah, there's a blizzard. Look, in college, I quickly learned meteorology wasn't for me. Sorry they didn't do the same. Get your ass out in that goddamn rainstorm. Nobody wants to work these days.

Nobody wants to work these days. How do I know it's windy unless I see your jacket moving? Get your ass on the streets and do. Give us some infield reporting. This is not a remote job. But also, like, they could just film people who are already on the street. Like, there's no reason. They got to show the conditions.

Look, that's the number one reality TV show out there. It's the goddamn local news and the weather. Well, they realize the ratings go up when you, like, chuck a guy in a suit in a middle of a hurricane and see if you floats. People want to see it. People want to see it. People want to see what's going on out there. Give the people what they want.

No, I'm here for people in the news reporters in the hurricanes. Okay. As long as they get out safely, obviously, and they don't push it to the limit. Mm-hmm. But like, you know. Give us a good show. Give us one hit. You can give us one news hit.

I don't need you out there all night. Just give us one hit of like, from your perspective, what's it like in the trenches of it. And they go home. What about when it's raining? To get an umbrella. That's why they invented them. But not girls. No.

Not girls. No, because they have an outfit. They're like, yeah, if they want to stay in the studio, they can stay in the studio. If it's a little humid, she shouldn't have to go outside because then her hair could get kind of like fuzzy. Not fuzzy. What is it called? Statici. Yeah, I was just going to say something now.

I forgot. Oh, speaking of hair, I looked up the ice skater. Because when you said, like, oh, she has like halos in her hair. I don't know what I was like expecting. That's what the Genzi's call it. Yeah. And then I looked it up. It actually looked so cool when she had it in a pony when she was doing her routine.

Well, I think she put it in a bun out of like kind of a respect thing to be like, okay, I'm not going to dye it back, but I'll put it in a bun. Did she get points deducted for it? I don't know, but you know what I do know. They all do their own makeup. Really? When I watch the documentary, they're all like us before a show just when I'm on the road. just in the mirror of the hotel room putting on their makeup and I'm like I would they should they

shouldn't have to worry about glam I was seeing they were talking about this about traitors too that they all do their own glam that's I don't know if I believe that I mean mora higgins her glam no she was like she was doing her own good for her and I think she was wearing wigs yeah because she was always like had different hairstyles and like would have have a hat on so which is actually so fucking smart of her because that's it like the hair is done you just have to like put it on your head you're so right and she threw a hat on yeah but not all of us can pull off a hat especially like the wild hats how how early were they getting up to like do glam and then start i would i literally it's intense would never want to do it it's two weeks it's like

do it two weeks and then you're done it's not like a six month event one of the girls natalie everyone's making fun of her for her outfits so obviously i sympathize and not for from what oh from traders well she's it's funny because they'll be eating breakfast and she'll walk in just with like a body con a body con dress or she looks like she's like a female wrestler she's also like um a weightlifter so she's you could tell like she's not normally wearing these fancy clothes she's basically dressing how she thought she should and everyone's making fun of her whatever so she's like she's like i wish i hired a stylist but like she's like i'm from We just had to show up and survive. Like, I didn't know this was a fashion walk, but the truth is,

as Traders is kind of a fashion show. Well, it's also like people are just so mean to women. It's like crazy. Like, sorry, if you feel comfortable and I don't even watch the show, if you feel comfortable enough going, what's her name, Danielle? Natalie. Natalie. If you feel comfortable enough going on Natalie's Instagram and commenting,

your outfit sucks, get a life. She's also like gorgeous and so strong and just like an amazing personality. I'm sure she's lovely. She's also classic. This is, oh, okay, this is where the traitors is funny. When you're a woman on the traitors, if you're loud, people are like, she's a crazy bitch. I don't trust her. But if you're a loud man, you're assertive.

Everyone listens to him. where like Natalie was loud and everyone's like, she's a villain schemer. And then when the girls are quiet, it's like they think they're up to something. But when a man is quiet, he's just smart. They had a literal kidnapper on the cast. Like check the trunk of that guy's car.

What are we talking about? Are you kidding? Like God forbid you wore a strapless shirt to breakfast. This guy could be murdered. people I watch RuPaul's drag race now I finish season 12 and now I'm starting season 7 why are you going in such a weird order

great question I don't know I think because I I don't know I'm sure the gigglers can tell you because like when I first started Love Island many many moons ago I was told like start at season two and then you know so I'm sure the gigglers can give you like the best seasons I think five and six are the best I also, Trixie and Katia have like an amazing podcast.

So I want to see their season. Wait, actually, tell me what season that is because I am obsessed with their clips. I feel like they're us if we were gay men. No, I, well, I was a gay man. I feel like I'm M1 right now. I have so much testosterone, but yet I love glam. Wait. Wait, I was going to pitch this to you off the pod, but I think it's the perfect time.

Great. Hannah and Paige do drag. Yeah. And we have to get drag queens to put us in full drag, outfit, walk, lip sync. I fear I'm going to love it. I fear like that is who I am now. Can I ask the hardest question I've ever asked on this pod? Sure.

Who do you think has more testosterone? Me or you? Okay. Actually, like I've, wait, because I had, when I froze my eggs, you have to get your blood tested, well, you have to do it like every other day when you're getting, freezing your eggs, but you go in for like your initial blood test. And I, that's why my doctor like originally thought I had PCOS because I had so much testosterone. Yeah, you never cried. And you were kind of misogynistic. I'm no better than a man. I know you better than a man.

No, I really. No, I so I definitely have high test. You punched. a wall. You would slap my ass for no reason. Someone cheated on me in the fifth grade and I never got over it. Okay. That's why I am the way that I am. Have some compassion. No, literally.

Did you get tested after the egg retrieval and you've balanced a little? No. So then when I was doing my egg retrieval and they were giving me like more, like way more than I should be having, I was like leveled. I actually was obsessed with you during your egg retrieval. You were obsessed with yourself. I was a joy. I was a pleasure to have around. A pleasure in class.

Truly a pleasure. You had empathy. You were asking people questions. I was helping old ladies across the street. Like, I was doing the most. You were picking up litter. They immediately took those eggs out of me and I was like, fuck you.

Fuck your mom. And I'll fuck your dad. Like, I was, no. And did I ever go? go like get checked after. No, I definitely am still. But I will say after I froze my eggs, my period has never been more regular. That's amazing.

So I think maybe like it did even me out a little bit. Like some people will tell girls like you're in your masculine energy, you're not going to find a man. What do you think about that? Hannah, that's an amazing question and I have an amazing answer. Being feminine is very different than being. I don't even want to say the word submissive because I feel like that's like almost a little bit harsh. No, but submissive is kind of like the traditional. When you're in a relationship with a man, being, no, being feminine is like a personality trait.

But I would say being like nurturing or like being soft or like being like, oh yeah, like whatever. I guess like a form of submissive is not a personality trait. it's like a response to how you treat me. So like I've had so many boyfriends where I'm like, okay, and now I guess I'm a fucking man because I have to be in charge of all this goddamn bullshit. Where like, then you're getting to relationships with men and I'm like, I'm so silly and I'm like,

wait, what if we like stayed up late and like talked about everything? And that is just like a response to how that man makes you feel. It's a response level to your security. So, like, yeah, have I been in certain relationships and I'm like, I'm so fucking masculine right now? Yes. But is it because of me? No.

I hate to say it. That's literally exactly what I was going to say. Because I've been told in the past, like, oh, you're in your masculine energy, whatever. And I'm like, yeah, because I have to. Because I have to be. That's like a fighter flight. Yes. If you feel like you're in your masculine energy, it's because you're in fighter flight.

Also, I love being in full whatever masculine energy is, and I put that in quotations, because it's just society telling you that being business minded is like masculine. But I'll be on like some call. I know so many men who are, I've watched business fail after fail. And I'm like, what? Go back to college, honey. You obviously missed a class. Like, I know more horrible businessmen than I do business women. I know a ton of amazing business women.

It was crazy. I was looking at like businesses like and just like which ones are up and coming that I want to like follow. I'm obsessed with like foods and stuff like I love seeing like a new food that gets invented. Yeah like my girl like the girl that has freestyle olives. I think I found them years ago and I'm just like fuck yeah I love supporting that girl. But I feel like I would want to be a part of a business that a woman was running because I'm like she's not going to let it die. she is going to mother and nurture and care and be detail-oriented where the man I'm like I feel like he's I feel like he's cheating me like he could get up and leave in the middle of the night I'm like double check the numbers I don't trust him but you know it's so true be yourself and then the right guy puts you in that place like you can't help but be like feeling cute around him If a guy makes you feel like big and serious around him, that's not your man. No, that's not your man. If you have to be in charge, that is not your man. And also speaking of business women, we both have female lawyers. Oh, we have the best female lawyers. And I think that's extremely important to note.

Also, my lawyer, this might be a little too much. I don't want to give away your identity. She's also, though, has multiple children and is the president of her PT. She runs like everything. She's just like the shit. And we can do it all. We can do it all. We can do it all.

No, we actually can. Like, you know what? It's funny because now, like, I'll go on, like, work trips. Like, I'm in L.A. for, like, a pretty long time. And I would have never thought this even, like, a year ago. But I literally got off my flight, like, got to my hotel. And my thought was like, yeah, I could do. I could have a baby.

I could bring a baby on, like, this work trip. Oh. Is that sweet? Wait, that's so sweet. I mean, I'm not gonna because that would be crazy. But I was like, oh, like, could I still do this and like have a baby? And I was like, yeah, I fucking could. Because I've dated so many babies that I'm like, I could fuck, I could do this.

I also want to raise awareness to there's something about right now with what's going on, like the whole hockey thing. The patriarchy enforces telling women like, we need to keep the family. structure alive, which is basically saying we want women to be submissive. We want it to be traditional. We want it old school. We don't want women to have jobs. Like we just want women to be like making babies all the time. It's a way to suppress women. It's because it's if you care about not to get too into it, but if you care about the economy, the economy is better when women are working also. Taylor Swift literally saved like multiple U.S. cities just for showing up. And also, guess what?

Your man's about a business? No problem. You're staying at home. You're staying at home. Okay? Learn how to clean a dish. Because you can't do an Excel sheet, that's for sure. Oh, God.

News alert. Yeah. I read an article on TikTok that said, you actually don't need 10 K steps a day. Are you fucking kidding me? This article said, Hannah, do you know that I've been obsessed with my 10K steps for two weeks? Because I googled what's going to take my Botox away?

And they were like, you've got to sweat and you've got to do 10K steps and you've got to go in the sauna. So every single day, I'm like, I wake up and I'm like, if I don't get my 10K steps, then I'll die. Oh, because you're trying to release the Botox. Yeah, I'm trying anything. You're in a glass case of your own Botox motion. I'm like, I can't believe I did this to myself. It's not bad that you're doing 10K, but I feel like 10K takes forever. Like, low-key, I feel like a lot of girls are lying when they say they're doing 10K.

Like, that takes like three hours. No, it takes a legit almost two. You could do it in an hour 30. Now, if you have a walking pad, that's another thing. But like going out and walking for two hours, like you could get robbed. Like, that's like a risk, you know? So it's three walks for me a day. or you're a full dog or you have to get walked three times or you get a little spicy yeah and if you

piss me off I'll pee on your shoe um it's three walks a day for me or it's like an hour and a half on the okay and you have like a unique life situation not everyone can have three walks a day um so anyway the article said that actually you just need seven K a day. Oh, thank God. 7K. And I do think 7K is more attainable and people won't quit as much. So like if you want to get healthy and on your feet, 7K. Yeah.

Do you know that I have a step app that I compete with other people in? Well, you know, it's crazy. You never invited me. Do you want in? Are you scared of this heat? No, I'm not scared of that heat. You want me to put you in my fan? family one i'll put you my family one wait yeah put me in it's me gary amanda and joe and so i'll add you

i'm sending you the link immediately just to let you know gary doesn't even check in you have no idea if he's even alive and this was all created for gary one day i texted him and i was like hey dude says seven steps you good like are you alive wait it can see how little steps you do i don't like all. Well, you have a, I have down days. You have to go into the app and then it'll like update. Register it. Okay. Well, you know I love, right now I'm at 7,544. Amanda's at 6,971. Gary, it says, no. He never checked in. So we'd have no idea. See, I love a rest day. Hey, we got to have a rest day. Were you walking around L.A.? Dahl, I woke up this morning at 7 a.m. I was in the gym by 7.30. I was out of the gym by 8.30, showered by 9, filmed something quick, then got into glam at 10,

and I just sat down for the first time to die. But you know what? When you have something filmed coming up, you love a workout. See me. I'm in my head. Because you want to know why? Well, that's why. Yeah.

I feel like when I work out every single day before like an event that I know I'm going to be nervous at, it like helps your mental and also because you were talking about that ski girl i did see that clip okay this is like so embarrassing but i'm just going to say it you know how like people do like affirmations okay well like sometimes i'm like that's like so corny i'm not like saying in my head so it came up with my own that like makes sense for me and this is our private podcast you can say anything you want okay this is our diary my affirmation First, I picture the people that I hate the most. This is so Sicilian.

I get the colloquio. And my affirmation is, fuck you, watch this. So in my head, before I'm nervous for anything, I think about all the people that want me to fail. And in my head, I say, fuck you, watch this. And then I go and I do it. That's actually doing. You're feeling the feeling of being like, I, already won.

Yeah. And that's actually manifestation to before you do it, sit in the feeling of like it already went the way you wanted. I also find when you put too much pressure on yourself and if you're like, this is life and death. If I do badly, like I can't function if I do great, I'll be the greatest ever. That is not good either. It's more just like I'm the shit.

I'm doing what I do. This isn't going to make or break me. This isn't going to make me a good person, a bad person. This isn't going to change anything in my life. life. If you're happy before, you'll be happy after. If you're unhappy before, you'll be happy after. That's, that's like really my own shit. Also, when you're with the wrong person and you feel, you feel like even more that it's life or death, because when you don't have someone to go home to that, like, will comfort you. Also, Eileen Goo said something that I related to a lot. It's a little

more stand-up and sportsy, but it's fucking what a good quote. She goes, I practice. I practice. like I've never won and I compete like I've never lost. Wow. Okay, so she's fully prepared. Yeah, she's, and she went to Stanford. Okay. That's where we lost her.

Did you apply to any Ivy League schools? I was going to Cornell because that's where my mom went. Oh, you got in? Yeah, but they didn't have scholarship, so I went to Wisconsin. Smart. Because deep down, I felt like I knew I was going to be an entrepreneur and that the school I went to wasn't going to, even though I'd have no idea what kind of entrepreneur.

No one offered me to apply to any of those. So this is like, you're going to be so jealous and this is so cunty of me. I'm a legacy. You are? Well, when your parent goes to an IV, you're a legacy. So like the legacy. But are you still if you didn't go? I don't think so, but I was for a moment.

So like now your daughter. Like if your daughter went to Wisconsin, they'd be like... She's a legacy. Me and my mom went to the same high school. And it's still... And it's still there. It's still happening. Yes.

It's still popping. Final, final question of the pod. Marching band jackets are predicted to be trending in 2026. Yes or no. Yes. And that is the end of our podcast. And that's your daily dose. See you next time.

Thank you for giggling. with us we love you so much send us good vibes for me shooting the special this weekend page is on netflix for the actor awards and we need all your positive vibes yeah there's not enough beta bloggers in the world we love you so much bye