Giggly Squad - Giggling about tinned fish, tracking farts, and Tampa

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

The tinned fish movement has finally crossed our desks and Paige takes an unexpected stand for the Hannahs of the world.Special thanks to Gatorade Lower Sugar for supporting this episode! #GatoradePartner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sup gigglers. Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. Hello, my gregarious gigglers. Hello, my gregarious gigglers. I'm stressed because Paige is coming to my apartment after this. And I've had it, I was going to say a day.

I've had a year. And I think what's going to have to happen is you can't come in. I have to do some, like, quick, because I'm afraid you're going to get, like, upset. Like, it's going to ruin. your day when you see the state. I had leftovers last night. When my parents are gone, I know an adult, but I live. You've lived alone for over 10 years. And Des is not around. I'm like, Jimmy Neutron. Like, I'm like, sleep over time. I'm peeing in the shower. Like, I don't go a fuck. And then I was like, oh my God, page is coming. Is that something Jimmy Neutron did?

There was like a movie where all the parents like disappeared and the kids went crazy and that's just how I live my life. Yeah. Like you don't have to put plates back into the sink if you don't want to. Like, here's a perfect description of how you and I are different. Yesterday, my glam showed up to my apartment, and I had, like, a little plate of pastries. And Mitchell literally said, is that real life? Or were you, like, taking a picture of something? I was like, honey, that's real life.

You grab a pastry. When my glam came in yesterday, I was talking about our glam. I'm like, you might get bitten by something. You're like, if you have an allergic reaction, we don't know what it's from, But you might have one. It could be anything. It could be anything in here. Also, I woke up and, like, my back was kind of hurting.

Like, something on my back was hurting. So I was, like, touching my spine. And a part of my spine was, like, sore. And I was like, did I break my spine? And then I realized, I just have a massive pimple, which Paige loves. Like, how happy she is. She loves a pimple. Just on my spine.

I have to see it. I have to show you guys. But I thought I was paralyzed. I was like, I'm going to be paralyzed. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Like, my back is perfect. Yeah, I could get in there.

But, like, it hurts. Like, what's your strategy? How are we appropriate? Like, you can't just go in. You have to, like... Well, I have to assess the area and see if there's even, like, a head that could be popped. Because it could be too soon. I don't think there is.

We need to heat compress at first. Yeah. I'm so scared. I love surgery, though. You can, like, take a needle. Well, I have, like, all tools for it. So you have to dig in. That is, honestly, I think, one of, like, my highlight.

of ever, like, dating a man is, like, when you get to the, when you get to the point where you're, like, let me pop that pimple for you. That's when, like, true love comes in. Like, I love... You have that with me, you don't need a man. If I had a boyfriend that had, like, shoulder acne, that's my fucking dream. Well, you could go hard on the shoulder. For some reason, it doesn't hurt as bad.

Yeah. Oh, God. Anyhow. Anyhow, how are you? I'm good. You were in Brooklyn this morning. I was in Brooklyn this morning. Oh, this was what I wanted to say.

Because now I'm like not in a coma from doing sag awards anymore. Because I was talking about how like I didn't need my beta blockers as much as I thought I was going to do, going to need. Let me just set the scene for like in the morning. In the morning, any day like that that I'm going to be nervous and I know I'm going to take a beta blocker, I can't drink any coffee because I'll just like freak out. I had hot water with lemon. And then the only. thing I could consume was half a banana. Oh, your body shut down. No, my body was like, no,

I can't take nothing in, nothing out. I'm like, put it all in and then it's all coming out. Like my body is like, no, no, closed right now. You think you're going to have a simple syrup? Get out of here. Simple syrup is a risk on a knife. Oh, my God. So that's what I had before. Then I take my beta blocker. Okay. Then I do what I have to do. Oh, you took beta blocker in the morning. I took a beta blocker 30 minutes before I had to be out there. Oh, okay. Yeah. I do the whole thing. I go to the awards. I'm sitting at the award show. I'm probably sitting there for like a little over an hour, maybe like an hour and a half. I'm sitting there. It truly felt like someone came up behind me, took a baseball bat and just like hit me in the head. Like I got an instant headache, but I think

it was my adrenaline, like, starting to come down. I literally turned to my assistant and I'm like, we have to go immediately or I'm going to like literally pass out at the table. We get in the car, we go back to the hotel. At this point, it's like 7.30. We walk into my hotel room because she has to take. My jewelry was so fucking expensive. I actually can't believe they didn't send a person.

Usually if it's over a certain amount of money, they'll send a human being that watches the jewelry. but they were like, how bad it? I was wearing. You lost your pinky ring and you were freaking out and I was like, I can't deal with this right now. Oh my God, I forgot I lost my pinky right. Because your pinky's so little that nothing would stay.

I had over $1.5 million of jewelry on me at SAG. See, I would have said no. I would have been like, no, thank you. I was just expecting like, oh, I'm going to give it back immediately after this. Like they're going to send a person. They didn't send a person. So we walk into my hotel room. I she unzips my dress because she's like also giving my dress back.

I'm taking the jewelry off and I'm like, hold on a second, I'll be right back. I walk into the bathroom, projectile vomit. You love vomiting. That's like, that's your go-to. You're like, I come back out and I'm like, and now the day is over. I have completed my task. My body is also understanding that the day is over. That was your bow.

You're pirouette. Literally into the bowl. And you want to know the worst part, I was like, wow, today was a good day. Like, today was a good day anxiety-wise. I'm laughing because I do the same thing, but through the other hole. Yeah. Which when I explain that to you, you stopped seeing me as gross and started seeing me as just like... Human.

I started seeing you. But I want people to understand when you see all these celebrities like glitzed out, it's all lent. It's all borrowed. And like the second they get off the carpet. I don't know why I thought you were talking about like lent. Like actual lent. It's like you're half Jewish.

Wait, so what do you care about? What happened with the jewels? We gave them back. But like she had to hold them for a certain amount of time. She just had to hold him until the next morning. Someone came and got them the next morning before we got on our flight. This reminds me last time we were in L.A. doing interviews. I had a necklace that no one told me how much it was.

Thank God. but I couldn't get it off because you know when some of these clasps are like insane like getting into Fort Knox and I went to college, couldn't figure it out also my nails were long and I face-time my stylist at like 2.30 a.m., thank God she doesn't sleep. And I was like, I'm about to get on a plane at 6 a.m.

with this on my neck if we can't get this off. And she was like, that cannot happen. And I'm like, okay, well. There's like a picture of Jane Fonda where she like went to an award show and then there's a picture of her the next morning in her kitchen in the same dress, and she's like, I couldn't get the zipper off. And, like, there's so many things in my life that I'm like,

this also happened in Jane Fonda. And I don't know why, but, like, I'm obsessed with her. Jane Fonda's so iconic if you don't know about her, like, learn. No, you should actually watch her documentary. It's really good. I did. Oh, you did? I have to rewatch.

That's my thing with fashion, though. Like, it's so uncomfortable, and I've recently somehow ended up in a bunch of jumpsuits. I don't know what I did in a past life. First of all, they don't fit my long torso. My labia is literally fighting for its life. And then obviously, you know I like to pee slash poop. Yeah.

Like, I don't even know what's going to happen, but I'm like, I need to be in the bathroom. And in this, you're like... And everyone's like, you don't just take the jumps up, but you have to like take your microphone off. It's a whole thing. Yeah. So anyway, this is not relatable, but I'm just saying...

Evergo relates to a jumpsuit pee situation. You know what it is relatable. that I can't believe we didn't talk about, but honestly, I think I saw it after we had, like, recorded last week. Did you freaking see the Tampa Airport banning crocs and pajamas pants? Which isn't a funny bit.

I thought it was a bit. And me, who is, like, such a crock hater. I was, like, let the girls wear their choice of shit. You're like, just because it's not for me doesn't mean I need to ban other people's rights. And, and, An America literally take note. You don't approve of something doesn't mean it's not right for other people.

Just because I don't want to do it doesn't mean I'm going to take it away from you. Okay, first of all, I have so many thoughts on this. This makes me now want to walk into the Tampa airport with no flight, just wearing pajamas, marry my Daphne. I might do a Daphne photo shoot in the Tampa airport. That was my first thought. I was like, what great marketing? With my crocs.

And then I'm going to throw gibbets. all over the airport. Here's the thing that I found offensive. The overarching message was, please stop showing up, I think, like, looking disheveled or like. Which is my brand book, continue. But my thing is from a legal standpoint, but also Florida does whatever the fuck they want, I feel like, from a legal standpoint, because we are lawyers. Yeah. How are you differentiating what's a pajama pan and what's not?

And also, it just felt very pointed at women. Yes. Did it not? It came off like, hey, girls, stop. It's came off like girls wear a fucking power suit to the airport. Now. I'm going to show up with a gown. Not that I've ever been in this situation where I've like had to sit next to a man on a plane and I felt like he was like wearing something weird.

But there's definitely times where I've seen men at the airport and I'm like, well, those sweatpants are not. appropriate. Like they're too tight. Did you put underwear on you fucking freak? Like so if we're not addressing the men's penises in their pants, don't tell me what kind of pant or shoe I can or cannot wear. Well, this is my issue. If I'm, if you invite me to your house and you say, Hannah, I'd prefer you to not show up in your pajamas and crocs. I can respect that and say it's your house and it's your party. If someone never said that, that's, that's. I would also be insane. No, but also like it's your house.

There's a dress code. It's a private event of you and I want my friend to have a good event. However, as someone who flies for a living, first of all, I don't know where I'm landing. I don't know where I am. You think people are like, oh, I'm flying to Tampa and I have to now prepare a dress code from when I land in Tampa. I don't know where I land and I'm always wearing something comfortable. That sounds like a you problem.

As in, when I'm on tour, am I about to be like, oh, shoot, the Tampa. I have to change my outfit for the Tampa airport. And someone who owns a pajama brand, I felt very singled out. But also, if you wear jeans to the airport, like, you don't travel a lot. Yeah. You're like, you're a mask. Also, let's just say men's jeans are very different than women's jeans. Really?

Men's jeans, I feel like are soft, a little bit softer because it's not like, we're not, we don't care about their shape. They're not hugging anything. So I think of that when men are in jeans at the airport or even like a chino pan, it's very different. but I've definitely seen men in like full sweats. Also, you see these mothers with like four children who are about to get on a flight at 6 a.m. She doesn't have to dress all her children. I want those kids in their comfortable pajamas

so she can just get them out of bed and put them on the plane. You're making mothers like dress children in fucking what, like office wear? Yeah. That would be adorable. Imagine you brought your baby on a plane and she just had a headset on.

You definitely. She's working customary service. She's like, sorry, I have to be adorable. to take this. No, Tampa's gonna get sued. That's crazy. It was just, I just thought it was so crazy. Also, who in the meeting was like,

I have a really good idea? Also, you're dealing with Florida. Like, that's gonna backfire. All the Cookie Monster Pajama girls from high school are gonna band together. Okay, they're gonna, like, they're somewhere getting their nails done together and they're coming for you.

You know what makes me uncomfortable when you go to an airport and men are wearing cowboy boots? Why are you in full drag at the airport? With a mini heel. That's a heel. With a fucking heel. That's a high heel.

So then I'm there with your... I can't see. You can't see anything. You're wearing your hat. Why are you in full... Can't even see the gate numbers because your hat is so big. Literally.

Here's my question. What were they doing with the crocs that they had to be banned? Like were they taking them off and throwing them? Like what... They can go sport mode. I can't see that there was ever a problem with people wearing crocs.

The one thing with crocs is because they're rubber sometimes against the like flooring. it would like, I would like squeak. But not really. I would like trip a little sometimes. You're like our legit infield reporter. Yeah, that's the one who's been on the ground. Yeah.

I'm trying it out. However, I am one of those people in the morning. I don't want to wear like tie shoes in the morning. I want Velcro or slip it on. No, we've seen. That's why I love Crooks. Yeah. What if you're, I'm on a comedy tour and I brought one comfy outfit and Crocs to travel in,

what are they going to say? You can't do your show tonight because you showed up in crox. Well, that's my question. How are you differentiating what's a pajama pan and what's like a sweat pant? Yeah. What are you telling people they have to go back to where they came from? Like the only situation I could see is like if someone tried to get on a flight and they were dressed like extremely inappropriate and provocatively. Like then may, okay. But I feel like there's even been stories where girls are like in leggings and people have been like, you can't get on this flight or I'm like, honestly, you should be worried about the drunk men that get on these goddamn flights a little bit more than what the girls are wearing.

There's so many flights where I can't believe people have even been allowed to get on the plane. I was with my mom flying from Toronto and she looked at me and she was like, you know, people are drinking right now. And it was 9 a.m. And I was like, I go, you know, I think some people get flight anxiety. And she goes, no, I think they're just, I think they're just having fun being hammered. And this was a Monday. You know, I didn't realize that until I was, like, well into my 20s that people get, like, hammered on flights. Well, I had my experience when I was sitting with a woman who was blackout on a flight.

Who I haven't reached out to. And every now and then, I'm afraid she's going to come out nowhere and be like, why haven't you texted me? One time I was dating a guy, and in my defense, I didn't know he was a drug addict because he was, like, a good one. We've all been there. We've all been there. We've all been there. No, sometimes we do it subtly. Yeah, I did.

I had no idea. Yeah, yeah. Same. Until we got on a flight one time. And while we're, whilst on the flight, I was, like, falling asleep. Like, I'm coherent, but my eyes are closed. Like, if anyone's around, I'm asleep. And I heard him talking to the people next to us, and he was just lying.

Just, like, lying about everything. And it was on that trip that I realized that he had not gone to bed. from the night before and he was in fact a drug addict and he got so hammered on the flight. I actually feel like security got involved at some point, but I like stayed asleep. I think I'm going to go out. Wait, that is so you to like someone's getting arrested and you're just close your eyes. I'm like, I'm not going to have nargloopsie. I straight of nargloopsie.

You wake up, you're like, where is he? What happened? Someone's like, does anyone know this man? And you're like, let him fight for yourself. I do think traveling with your significant other is important. You learn a lot. Yeah. You learn a lot.

I think it's really important. I've never had like, well, one time someone tried to leave me in Paris. Honestly, I digress. That sounds like iconic, though. Someone left you in Paris. They could have left you in Atlantic City. Yeah, that's true. I have a quick PSA for the Gigglers.

I found the ultimate hack, Gatorade Lower Sugar. No artificial flavor. sweeteners or colors and it has 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade. It's the biggest life hack ever. Yeah. I'm a Gatorade girlie. I've been drinking it my whole life. And some would argue I don't always need more sugar in my life.

So this is perfect. And it's great for when you're sweaty. Paige, have you ever sweat before? Okay. I'm so glad we're bringing this to the forefront. And I hope my mother is listening to this because all growing up, my brother got to drink Gatorade all the time. And I'd be like, mom, can I have Gatorade?

And she'd be like, you don't play sports. And now in my adult life, I actually do play extreme sports because I've flown to Fiji, worn suede, sweat so badly that I literally dropped to the ground. Also, I've been to one of your fittings. You try on 40 to 50 outfits in record time. That's an extreme sport. That's an extreme sport. There's always gatorade in my refrigerator because you never know. I go on a brisk walk.

I'm like, I need to, I need electrolytes. I need to hydrate. I need something more than water. And I used to, you know, be running around the tennis court, but now I'm running my mouth doing stand-up. And that's why I always have Gatorade Lower Sugar in my green room to prepare. Because this is a sports podcast. We are athletes. I won't sweat through my clothes.

But like it's happening where you'll just like, you'll full-on sweat through. It's almost like a badge of honor. Oh, yeah. And did you know that Gatorade Lower Sugar actually hydrates better than water? And we know that because we're women in STEM. And my favorite flavor, this is the lemonade. If you know anything about me, one of my favorite phrases is, let's get a lemonade. Like, in the summer, I'm like, what if we got like an icy lemonade?

And so I always grab a lemonade flavor. I think that a classic flavor, when you think about Gatorade, what do you think of? Gatorade Fruit Punch. Nothing hits the tongue quite like it. And you immediately think of, like, at recess with your friends having the best time. Some people say the colors and some people say the flavors. And that's just like a Gatorade thing, you know? In the comments, which girl are you?

Do you call Gatorade by the color or the real name? Or it's government name. I bet the gigglers are very split because I'm a color girlie and I feel like you're a flavor. I'm a government name because I don't mess around when it comes to my Gatorade. Like you put their first and last name in your contacts. I also love Rainberry. and I got the big lemonade. It's really good.

So I'm about to have a hydrating day with lower sugar. Whether you're sweating through a workout set or your Daphne pajamas, you're an athlete. Act accordingly and rehydrate with Gatorade lower sugar. It's giving 75% less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade. You'll be looking and feeling like your best, most hydrated self. Guys are wearing ballet flats now. Well, Harry Styles and some other guys who are more fashion forward.

but like they're wearing ballet flats. Did you see Rosalia got asked a question, what's her favorite thing about men? And she said that they're gay. Rosalie is a giggler. That's my president. That's my religion. That was so real.

I love Rosalie. You know, she's my style icon. What brand? I want to know who's responsible for this. And when you say ballet flat, like, does it have a bow? Harry Stiles is wearing like a bell bottom with a ballet flat. With like a tag.

tabby? Not a tabby, which by the way, I need to get in on those tabbies. Yeah, I can't believe you haven't. It just hasn't. I don't, I feel like, because I'm scared. It's so you. Because I also don't understand, a tabby for you guys don't know. It's when you look like a hoof.

Yeah. Do you have to get a special sock for that? The admin is actually stressing me out. I don't know. I've never looked into a tabby. Honey, I, my assistant wears them all the time. Yeah. But that's her style.

That's like her vibe. Like they do look cute. I just like, in the back of my head, I have my mom being like, just because it's expensive, doesn't mean it looks good. Oh, that's why I haven't done it because I think they're expensive. They're expensive. And I'm like, I'm not paying more for less of a shoe. You cut the shoe in half. Yeah, like.

On the top. I'm really upset about the men wearing ballet flats, though. Can we have anything? We can't have a single thing. We can't even go on hot girl walks anymore. They like want to go on walks. Men are going on walks? Yeah, they're going on walks together.

Who knows? They've already taken us down. They already have golf. That's what golf. That's what golf is. Just men walking and, like, hitting bad shots and then telling each other was a good enough shot. Now they're, like, walking around and talking. The last thing we need is them talking to each other.

Chris, are you guys talking? Have any of your friends asked you to go on a walk? No, I go on a walk sometimes. By yourself. Yeah, that's scary. No, but I think that's better than them getting together and walking. True, but I also don't like, when a guy's alone, I'm like, where are you going? What are you planning?

Yeah. What are you up to? Yeah. Yeah, I don't like when they get together like that. When there's two, I don't mind because I feel like they're, they're like obsessed with each other. Like they're gay. Yeah, they offset each other. But when there's three.

Three or more, you got a problem. You got a problem because one of them is doing something. Three or something illegal is happening. Also, I talk about this in my stand-up, but do you know, like, in your college and in your 20s, when you'd go over to a guy's apartment, why are there always 17 dudes playing FIFA? Like, and that's the worst. I think it's them being nervous. It's them needing emotional support without ever saying like, hey, I need like, I'm nervous like this girl's coming over.

It's more like. And then in front of them. I'm going to have this girl come over. And it's also performing for them. Like, look how much this girl likes me. I'm about to dig down this girl. Like, but then I'm like, this isn't a fucking performance. Like I came here to, I don't even know if, I don't even know what to do.

Like, I don't even know why I'm here. And suddenly I'm having to like walk into your bedroom and do a fucking walk of shame. before I even did anything. Also, I'm giving you a bad hand job. Like, this isn't going to be a thing. Can I just say? Because, like, I'm no better than a man. I thrived in those situations.

What would you do? What was your move? I loved them. They were, like, my, that was, like, my college experience. Yeah. Because I was like, guess what? Also, I'm funny that you didn't see that one coming. Yeah.

Yeah. I just, it was like, tell me who all's going to be there before I show up. Also, because in your head, you're like, this is going to be so romantic. Like, he's going to be waiting for me with candles. and a glass of wine. And then you walk in and it's just eight guys being like, are you Sarah? And you're like, no, that's not my name.

That's not my name. And then I'm like, oh yeah, you, like, I know what, I know that guy. I've seen him on Facebook. You're fucking a rat. I don't like you. Do you have any guy college friends? Like now in your 30s?

Well, my college experience, because it was in Wisconsin, like everyone lives in Chicago or they were like foreign on the tennis teams. But I keep in touch with a lot of them. virtually. I couldn't name one of them. Maybe I could name one of them.

We were like close with the tennis guys. I've never formed a real friendship with a man. Like I, that's actually untrue. I have, I have friendships with, I would say I have friendships with like two men that I really have a legitimate friendship with.

But I'm not even talking to them. And if anything, I'm now, I'm talking to their wives. Yes, yes, yes. You know,

like I'm not, I do have to say I thrive with the audience too. Now that I'm looking back, I think girls, when you walk in and you see those men and you get scared because you're like, what are they planning? Am I going to be kidnapped right now? Instead, you take control. This isn't a time for them to diminish you or whatever. Well, they're actually way more nervous. They're so nervous.

That's why they need to be together. I remember. It's kind of like a spider. Like it's scared of you. You're not scared of it. I remember when I started to become powerful. because the male athletes were scary, and they were like the shit on campus.

Like, they were literally celebrities, like when they're walking to school. Like, everyone's like, there's the quarterback, whatever. And the women's teams were training with the men's teams. And I remember I got hit by a car. I digress. That is the epitome of Giggly Squad. You're telling a story, but like you add in a sentence.

Say the most traumatic thing you've ever heard. We'll actually get back to that. But we're good to that. But there was. was a lot of times where you'd have to just walk in front of like the entire football team or the entire hockey team. When you got hit by car, did you fall to the ground? I was chucked up in the air, landed on my bag with a backpack. Apparently saved my life and I was just like lying there and then stayed there because it was quite nice to just lie there for a second. Oh, you think it's funny.

He was funny. You almost lost me. You could have been a thing. In my head, I'm picturing it like grazing you and you being like, oh, it was like, bang. That's terrifying. Yeah. So anyway, way back to me, I, no, I did, there's a thing called box jumps where you had to jump onto a box. And the whole men's hockey team was like on bikes. Okay. And I was like, for whatever reason alone, scared, doing box jumps. Box jumping. And I jumped and just like rammed into.

Nothing to see here, just jumping on my boxes. Just let me jump on my box. I jumped and like, I was trying to show off. And of course, like I hit my shin and started bleeding. I fell. It was like a whole thing. But this is what. Are these boxes?

Oh my god, they're like hard boxes. Yeah. Oh. And then there was this one time where like I started dating this football guy and I was walking through the gym and like four of his friends were there. And I guess I was like, they knew I started seeing him. They were like Hannah, but they didn't know I was crying because I just found out about a family member who was sick.

So I had to be like, hey. There's so many parts of this story. But then this was my like, this was my moment where I think it shaped who I am as a person. and why I love comedy now and making fun of men. Really getting to the crux of it and your entire personality. You never have to be embarrassed in front of men. You were in control.

I'd been hit by a car. I was maimed. I was down for the count. And I think me and this football guy were like now not talking that much. They put you in this little pool as rehab where you run on a treadmill that's in a pool. Honestly, I should get that for a kitty.

So you're waiting. So your weight is like lifted, so you have put so much weight on it. So I'm at this little pool in my, I guess I'm wearing like shorts and a sports bra. And like, this is intimate. And I'm also like probably crying. And all the football guys are lined up on bikes like right watching you, watching me do this. So it's like so annoying. One of them is like my fucking ex situation ship.

And I'm like cool, amazing. So I get out and I'm just like soaking wet. Yeah. You're like, hi, this is me. Barely wearing any clothes. Yeah. Like, eyes probably swollen from crying. And I'm walking by and he decides to say something.

Like something like looking good or something like that. And I just look at him and I say, don't be a creep. And everyone starts dying laughing. Like, ooh, and I remember like feeling so powerful and being like, as long as I'm funnier than them, they could never get to me. Like you tried to make me feel awkward in front of all of you guys. You'd be fucking awkward. He might have been giving you a compliment.

I don't care. I don't care No but also don't Don't fucking How dare me? Don't fucking sexualize me I'm a female athlete Trying to recover from a car accident

And you're trying to in front of your boys show off That you're like yeah nice ass Yeah No you're a fucking creep You're losers and I don't want your affection Or attention Or attention Fuck you and the Tampa airport

Yeah literally fuck the Tampa airport Which I think I have to fly in soon What if my face is just like They just tackle me the second I get there. They're like immediately banned. They go, she's been promoting crocs. Never did I think ever that I would be single-handedly standing up for the crock community. I was like, hey, I may not agree with them, but they have the right to express themselves the way they see fit.

Just because they're different doesn't mean that's bad or wrong. Exactly. Just because they're different and I don't like it doesn't mean they need to change. Yeah. And that. Accepting of all people. Yeah. Whether or not they were crocks.

A hundred percent. And that's the policy we stand on. Anyway, have you been eating tin fish? We don't even try to have segways anymore. I'm so begging have you brought up this tin fish. Oh my God. Tell. I haven't eaten it.

But their packaging is adorable. Well, you're thinking of fishwife. Very cute. Their marketing is so. So cute. But what is it? Why is everyone obsessed with it? What kind of fish is it?

All kinds? Good question. So apparently, this could be completely wrong, but like in Portugal and in Italy and Spain, they have these cans of smoked fish. Okay. That they, like, sardines, and they also have, like, octopus. They have all kinds of fish. So my brother calls me.

And my brother's like, I'm obsessed with tin fish. And I'm like, tell me why. Sounds like a great, like, band. name or like really cool men's brand. Like, oh my God, like, tin fish. Tinfish. Yeah, it sounds like a rapper. Yeah.

A DJ. DJ Tinfish. Yeah. Tinfish and 50 Cent did like a song. Tinfish remix. By the way, I miss when they used to yell the producer in the beginning of songs. Yeah. Why are we not giving him credit anymore?

Yeah. Yeah. What happened to DJ Mustard? I've been wondering, years. What happened to muster? Hey, Conard Young Jeezy. Let's take it easy.

Yeah, I want to know who's producing it. It was like the Walt Disney would be like in the beginning. Yeah, like, let us know. Let us know. Give credit what credit is due. Also, do you remember when every pop star used to just have a random rapper for 30 seconds at the end of the song? I don't know why

immediately popping into my head is Paul Wall. And what is Holcogen's daughter, Brooke Hogan? That song is. is so good. What are my favorite songs ever? What happened to Paul Wall?

I really thought that like... He's around. But not in the rap capacity. Well, he's not singing opera. Right, but like he had two major, two or three major songs. And then one day he was just like, adios.

And we never saw him again. Like, you didn't know. He's with Jack Harlow somewhere. That like the last time you listened to one of his songs was really going to be the last time you ever saw him. Yeah, and I hate to get emotional, but... But also, I hate to get emotional. We haven't looked it up.

He's probably been making a lot of music and it just hasn't crossed our desks. Chris, do me a favorite and look up. Chris, are you texting during the blog? No. Paul Wall's big bibliography. What's he doing? What's he up to?

I got you. I'm Googling exactly that. Not a lot to work with here. I feel like he almost might have gotten out of the industry because something happened to it. Or maybe he just did well and was like, I've said what I need to say. I've made all the rhymes.

I can make. He's performing this weekend. He is? We're at. I'm so proud of him. I think he's from Houston. Wait, I'm so proud of him. He's at the State Fair of West Virginia. He's at the State Fair of West Virginia.

He's got a custom jewelry business too. He's a custom jewelry business. For grills? I really didn't see him as the State Fair circuit. He goes, he does bracelets now. Anyway, so Tinfish. Oh, yeah. What's great about it?

And I don't work for Tinfish, by the way. but my brother told me that like the minerals and vitamins are incredible and my mom who was a dietitian always told me like at the end of the day it's best to like actually eat your minerals and vitamins like rather than like taking a vitamin like just fucking eat a vegetable eat a whole whole food so these fish have incredible vitamins and minerals and the oils with it are really really healthy for you for your skin you're just opening it taking it eating it or you're putting it on. Great question. So you could put it like as part of a charcutory plate. You could, it's a great like healthy lunch to just like open one up. They have salmon, all this stuff.

They have ones that are really spicy. Wait, Kitty would love this. Kitty would, oh my God, tinfish for the cats. We need a tinfish collab. We need to do tinfish for cats. Wait, Kitty was, and it like really cute. I think that's just wet food. Yeah, true. I think they've invented it. They mentioned it. And it's cat food. It's cat food. We're like, don't put that in the pot because let's ruminate on that one. And it's literally just fancy feast food.

It's like, yep, nope. The scientists have cracked. Let's call it fancier feast. Fancier feast. But you also can put it in a stew. You could put it in a pasta. Actually, I haven't eaten. I don't want to ever put it in a pasta.

So this is the thing. My brother's been. obsessed with it and trying it. Which is his favorite fish? He's been trying everything. He's been trying all the tins. But Lois, my daughter,

hates the smell of it. So she keeps going, Pugh, Daddy, it smells, it smells. So Lois hates the tin fish movement. But Daniel is like... I would hate it too, I think, if I were Lois. It's really, it can be really strong smelling. Do you have to refrigerate it?

I think if there's an apocalypse, all the tinfish girlies are going to. to survive. Or is it, I was going to say, is it, like, tuna where it's like, you can keep it in the cabinet. Yeah, you don't have to put it in the fridge. Also, I should triple check that before I, like, give all the girls. E.

Ecoli. Everyone's like, I listen to Giggly Squad and I got E. coli from an octopus. So double check that, but I do think if you are into, like, sushi or you're into, like, fish that you like didn't. Are you going to try it? Because I don't know if I'm going to. So I went to this restaurant, I think it's called Tinfish.

In LA, it's called like Fish Wife or something. I've talked about before in the pod. And you can get this whole like tinned fish charcutory spread. And you could put it on bread. So if you want to explore new palettes, you can try it out. Does your mom eat it?

You will do anything my mom does. Well, I just like, I look up to her. She's very, she's very fit and healthy. Yeah, she's so healthy. I have to double check. I'll ask her. I don't want to speak for her. and her ways.

Please don't speak on her name. This also could be totally made up because it's from the internet and I actually can't trust anything I'm seeing on the internet lately. Like it's becoming really chaotic. No, I'm a 65-year-old woman. I'm like, is that AI?

Well, now things that are an AI, I'm like, that's AI. And people are like, no, that's the world right now. And I'm like, that has to be AI. Apparently they invented an underwear that's like a fart tracker for people to see like how your body is

processing foods and stuff for people to be like, do you have IBS, whatever? This, again, could be totally false. We have no funding for women's health. You hit menopause and they literally say, why don't you just kill yourself? But yet, they're tracking farts. No, we've truly lost it as a society. They definitely just use men for the study. How many farts do you think the average person is farting based on this study?

In a day? Yeah. In a 24-hour period. And they said it's higher than any like previous reports that people told. Like people said like, oh, I fart this amount. What's the actual amount? Okay. I would say that people are farting like five times a day.

32. I am not farting 32 times a day. And the second I saw that number, if that's true, I was like, Paige is holding in 32 farts a day. More. I'm probably holding in weeks apart. I definitely fart 32 times a day. 32?

Not like big ones, but I feel like every now and then there's just a little air comes out. You're farting once an hour, like more than once an hour? I think there's some hours that are particularly hotter than other hours. Like I have some quiet hours, but then I have some crazy hours. Sorry, we're doing quiet hours here. Some firework hours and then should be quiet. I mean, also then when you're sleeping. Okay, and what is it?

Is it underwear that you're wearing and it's tracking it? It's tracking it. That seems like radiation. They track like the nitrogen, hydrogen. I feel like I'd get a UTI. Oh, for sure. Something is not saying on. Are you wearing cotton underwear for your UTIs?

Yeah, yeah. Every now and then I get a message. No, I'm still UTI free. Oh my God. Us Weekly. Where is that? Where are you guys? Where are you?

You embarrass a woman, and then when she solves the problem, you still make it seem like everyone, she's out to die. They're on to the next thing. They're on to next thing. No, I don't want to jinx it, but yeah, I should have gotten in one in February. The problem with press is they love a good headline, but then they don't check if it's true, and then they don't give an update when things have evolved. So people just remember the horrible thing, and they're never like, but she's taking care of her health.

And she's in a better place now. Thank you for taking a stand. What are you up to this weekend? Oh, my God, we never ask each other that question. That was so weird. What is a weekend when you're over 31? You can still dabble. You can say 32.

No, because 30, you can still dabble. But you can say 32. You're 32. I'm 33. Well, if you're 34. Doesn't I'm age. A woman never says her age. I love being 33, though.

What am I doing this weekend? Literally nothing. Oh, I'm an Indian Wells. Oh, yeah. I wish you could come. You would have fun for like two hours. What is Indian Wells? So it's, you know, there's the grand slams?

There's four grand slams. For what? For tennis. Oh. You're like, what's your name? What planet are we on? Well, sometimes you're talking about March Madness. There's just so many things.

You're very overwhelmed. There's a lot of sportsmen thrown at you in the last couple months. Did you see Tom Brady called Logan Paul a bitch? The men are fighting. Why am on Tom Brady? I don't know. It's giving real housewives. It's literally giving real housewives.

Calling a man a bitch is really funny. Let's call more men bitches. Oh, I do. I think I hit my quota. I'm Ben calling them bitches. I love that. I never call men bitches. Do you want to know one of...

Because it's also kind of calling them like a mean girl, calling a guy a bitch, which is so funny. One of my favorite insults to one of my boyfriends because it would like really abysmal, was I would call him one of his friend's names because he, like, low-key would, like, beef with this, like, he would beef with this friend. So you'd be like that friend was right? No, and I would just be like, okay, you know who you're acting like? Oh, my God. And so, like, if we'd get into a fight, I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay.

And then, like, say the name. And he's like, that's not what I'm acting like. And I'm like, seems like you are. And then, like, say his name again. Once you know a man's triggers. You have to get Nisha. with it. Oh yeah,

you can't generalize. Every guy is a new opportunity to find it. If I did a nickel for every time I called the guy a loser, I'd be like, oh, God. You love that line. I love that. That just comes out with that. Like, it's not really upset. They really don't like being called losers.

No, when I first heard you call a guy that, I was like, that was iconic. Because I could, I say it deep. Like, I could say the whole sentence. You make the word 15 minutes. You go, you're a loser. Luser. Loser. Yeah.

Luser. That's like me saying, shut the fuck up. Yeah. All the girls should now go on Instagram, go on TikTok and be like, practice calling a guy a loser. You know who I actually got calling a guy a loser from? Who? Let's give credit or credit to do. Courtney Kardashian. She called Scott a loser?

Years and years and years ago. Like literally like the first couple of seasons. This could have even been like the first like take Miami season. I distinctly remember her calling him a loser and him getting like really upset by it. But to give credit where credit is due, because I guess that's the theme of this episode, he was an amazing reality TV cast member for that show.

Like obviously that show would have still been on, but there were a couple seasons where like, that was the Scott show. He was the perfect in between to kind of be like the voice of like what everyone was thinking. Do you think him and Courtney would have stayed together if they weren't on a reality show? No, because I think ultimately, Courtney, no, I think ultimately Scott had too much of like an addiction. True.

To like going out and drinking. And that like, you can get just so beaten down with that just so much until one day you're like, you've actually exhausted me to the point of like, I can't even be around you. I'm so tired. Are you going to bring the Bob back? No. Because I just keep getting all these notifications being like the Italian Bob is in. The French Bob right now.

who's bobbing around your assistant oh yeah my assistant has a bob Taylor has a bob I bobbed for so long you just feel like that well you would never go back to that exact bob I mean in my lifetime again

will I have a bob totally wait do you know people try to say that like I hate you because I was telling me to shave your head and I'm like sorry sorry for having a vision yeah that was me making other accounts and commenting being clear

Literally, Hannah has an ass page. No, that was me. If I had your facial structure, I would enjoy having short hair, but I can't pull it off. You believe in me so much. I see so much for you. And you think I am like truly one of the most gorgeous people

ever on the planet. Like any outfit, you're like, Paige can wear that. Like, I literally am your real life, like Barbie doll that sometimes you play with when you're into like clothes. Like clothes and stuff. And then other times you're like, what if I just?

No, what if I just ripped your whole head off? Oh, you got mad at me recently because I love sending page vintage clothes to buy. And every now and then you don't respond or you'll respond, okay, cute, which like makes my day. And then sometimes you'll get angry and be like, why would you ever send me this? Because sometimes I think you're fucking with me. I'm like, clearly, you couldn't have looked down on your phone, saw this article of clothing, and thought cute. Because if you did, you need your eyes checked.

You can pull off a lot of things. And you also can set a trend. Thank you. Like even you wearing all the emerald jewelry, I feel like that, are people doing that? Wearing emerald jewelry? Like green jewelry. No, but like green, I didn't like invent.

I know, but I could see girls wearing green jewelry. Being like, oh, it looked regal. Yeah. So anyway, I just, I'm still sending you stuff. Like, are you okay that I send you stuff? Yeah, no, I like it because you want to know what? When you send me stuff of things I should buy in my head, I go, oh, she's relaxing. Good.

She needs to relax right now. She's just like online shopping. So it's like I know that you're in a state of relaxation. Shopping online and not buying anything and then sending it to your friends to see if they'd like it is a form of therapy. It's like sending memes but like less mind work. Yeah. And like sometimes I have to stay true to myself and be like, get this off my goddamn screen. True, you don't want your algorithm.

If I fuck up your algorithm, you just start getting tabbies. If I start getting ads for like horrible clothes, I mean, this is Hannah. This is funny. Hannah literally did this in my algorithm. But also, I, all of my friends have different love languages. And like, I feel like me sending you a light pink Chanel ballet flat. Yeah. Is a form of love.

Like, if I could just get you to smile. And if you bought something because I sent it to you, then like we're connected. I have. You have. I mean, but I've sent you a lot. Yeah, in the ratio of things sent to bought, not great. I was like, Paige is a different size than me. So when I'm vintage shopping, I'll be like, that's really cute.

Oh, no, it's not my size. Yeah. It's page's size, though, would she like it? And I love feeling like I found something for you. Yeah. Well, because also you don't like to splurge. No, I hate a splurge. That's my middle name.

Yeah, I'm like, if I'm not going to enjoy it, someone else should. Yeah. But that's like you with food. If you're like, I'm not going to finish this, Hannah should. That is exactly it. You go, I've had enough. This is too much for me, but Hannah will actually treat this how it's supposed to be treated. Also, our silhouettes are so different.

I can't buy. If it says mini dress, I can't buy it. Because my butt will be out. And then I'm the one who's inappropriate getting kicked off a plane. Right. We can see your butt crack. And this is like, it's the right size for me, but because I have a big butt, it doesn't. Some of these dresses are insane.

Like, when you put it on, it's short for you. Imagine if you had your butt pat on. Yeah, and I love something mini. Like if one in doubt, I'm shortening. Yes. I've never shortened anything in my life. Honestly, the only thing my tailor ever does is just shorten things for me. Like, make it more mini.

Well, because I love a knee-high boot. I'll try on clothes. and they'll be like your midrifts showing. First of all, don't say midriff to me. Like, just say my belly button's out. But it's not my fault. It's because of my torso. And then they're like, can you not show your stomach?

And I'm like, can you get me a full shirt? Now, if Tampa came out and said... No midrifts? No midriff. I'm like, what are we in fucking public school gym? I'd actually be more understanding than no pajama pants. Because that's an area of your body

that yet you don't... That you wouldn't show your midriff in like a business professional setting. But like what if I like accidentally go to like grab a magazine and my midriff comes out? That's different. That's different. I thought we're fighting about the midriff rule that isn't made in the Tampa airport. I'm like, well, what if my midriff? No, we're literally being Karen's on TikTok. So we're like, oh really?

You said that. What about? Have you ever thought of this? It's like, okay, well, I wasn't talking about that. I don't want to see a man's butt crack. Why aren't there rules about that? Because I've seen more male butt cracks than any person should ever see. If you really, yeah, I really feel like if you really want to see like the state of where the country is at,

you just have to take like a flight from Florida to New York. I thought you're going to say you just have to look at a man's butt crack. No, because like I, there's just no men anymore on the planes. Like the amount of times I've taken my bag off the overhead bin, I'm like, it's insane. But they can wear pajama pants. they're already not doing anything. Why do they also need to be comfy? Also, pajama pants, it's lounge ready to wear.

Like, yeah, just like, I'm really, like, legally, I'm wondering how they even got the okay to put out that thing. Should we take them to small claims court? Like, we don't have anything else to do. I don't want to go to court in Florida. I feel like court in Florida's, like, did you do it? Okay. Like, I don't know.

It just feels weird down there. When you're getting your hair washed. at a salon. Do you keep your eyes open or closed? Depends who's washing it. Oh, like if you don't trust them. No, like if I know them and we're talking, like I'm going to keep my eyes open.

But like if it's like a new girl and she's really getting in there and I'm really feeling it, like I'm closing my eyes. I feel like even if I'm talking, I'm closing my eyes. Do you want to know something though? I haven't been to a salon in years because Mitchell just like does my hair literally in my living room now.

So like I don't get. a I don't get a vulnerable place. Yeah, I don't get. Going to a salon, you first of all, you show up and they make you look like a wet rat. Is it that you spill your guts at a salon? Oh, well, because you're so vulnerable. Like you're an open wound.

You've never looked uglier in that mirror because you look like a wet rat. And the only place to look is at yourself. Yeah, and then they're doing crazy stuff with the clips to your hair. And then they're like, do you want to take a photo? And you're like, no, like, I've never looked worse. and then a lot of the time the haircut happens and you're just like, and this is, I'm going to hate myself for the next three weeks.

Thank you. I'm going to pay you now. Yeah, I haven't gone and sat in a salon in a while, but you know what I used to do? This is like so girly of me, and I wonder if you ever did this. When I was younger and my mom had to go get her hair done, I would be like hyped.

Like, fuck yeah. We're going to be there for like four hours. I'm going to look at all these magazines. in all these pictures, she's absolutely going to get me a goddamn snack. Then I'm going to snack on that, and then I'm going to walk around the salon. Like, I loved salon days.

Paige. I have the most insane story of me visiting my mom at the salon. And literally probably getting kicked out. So my nana... Okay, don't say what I have to? My nana was going to this guy since, like, the 70s or 80s.

So then... And his name's Lance. Of course. In Tribeca. What else would his name be? What else was named be? And Tribeca. So then it was like a thing, like my mom now goes to Lance.

And she was like, Hannah, I'm going to bring you to Lance. And it was like this big deal. And I wasn't getting my haircut. Cut two, it's Lance Bass. So right before Insinct. But I walk in and like it's the most gorgeous cool salon. And I think it's so cool because my Nana goes here. And everyone knows.

It's like she's a local celebrity. Oh, your Nana's granddaughter. I must have been, I was young. It would be hilarious if I was 17. but I was like seven or six or five. I don't know. All I remember is apparently I just started rolling around. Like I was like running around, rolling around,

and I got hair all over me. You have no respect for what was taking place in that room. I started freaking out because I got so itchy because I was rolling around like a mad first. And my mom was like, I'm so sorry. She was really about ADHD. And then I was like, Mom, we have to leave. And then they were like,

trying to like white meat. I caused a stir. I couldn't imagine. I literally, this is one of the reasons I wish that, like, I knew you when I was little because I would see girls like you, like, out in the wild or, like, doing something. And I, like, would always remember, like, looking at my mom, like, are you going to load of this girl? Like, and I never did anything, like, outlandish.

Why did I think it would be fun to, like, literally be a Roomba for this? And then it was such a whole lot. horrible experience and I was like I don't ever want to go back to the salon that was so scary I almost died I would sit silently I think I had gum on me at one point sure like my mom would be like under the thing and I would just sit right next to her and like watch her I think my mom was like stay here and read a magazine and after two minutes I was like I'm fucking like yeah doing parkour you can't lay out yeah also that's where my demons find me the second I'm still yeah under the sun because I've But over the summer, like, we were like, well, we're going to, like, lay out. And then, like, you're down for, like, literally two seconds. And you're like, and also, like, you're not, you can't like, like, I could lay out for hours. I love a walk. That's my prime.

Because it's not too much exertion of energy, but I'm also not still where, like, everything from my past comes to the limelight. See, I'm timing it. I'm, like, a rotissory trick. And I'm like, and we're switching. We're turning. You could, like, what's the longest you could lay out for? Oh, my God. When I was in high school and, like, it was, like, the summer and no one had any responsibilities

except, like, being in high school, I would get out there at, like, 10 a.m. And then I'm not- And I'm not coming back into, like, four. I'm tracking the UV. Yeah, no, I was, like, that was my job. That was my job. Apparently there's a new thing out. It's, like, a sticker.

I don't know if this will be, like, good or bad. But you put the sticker on. and when the sticker evaporates, it means you have to reapply. Wow. Based on the UV. Women in STEM, for sure. I do take sunscreen seriously, though. After the fact.

They're like, it's called Too Late. Once I'm the perfect shade, I really take it seriously. Once I've set my base, I'm all about the SPF. Absolutely. My final note is just a PSA. Stop texting people. What are you do? Where are you tomorrow?

Are you in New York? What are you doing tomorrow? Are you? I ask one time. No, but it's like, am I going to be held hostage? Don't ask me to, if I'm available before you've even said what you want me for. Are you subpoenaing me for something? Also, how do you spell subpoena?

You and I are really on this word subpoena. Hannah and I every other text were like, imagine if our text ever got subpoenaed. I tried to spell subpoenaing. We can't manifest that. It's literally impossible. Sapina is like someone is fucking with everyone. Because like I always think, I keep thinking about like the Blake lively like the whole thing. It's like, okay, there's so many stray friends that are like, are you fucking kidding?

Like I feel like I would be the adjacent friend that like I then became the story because it's like her texts were so unhinged. Like now we don't even care about this lawsuit. It's more about page to serve as unhinged insane text messages. Like I really, I say all the time. I'm like, if you ever get subpoenaed, please delete my number. Every now and then, they'd probably be like, that was funny. Oh, the girls would be like, and where's the lie? Where is the goddamn lie?

Every now and then, also, I still love a funny gif. Well, that's where we voice note, too. I love a good gif, a good voice note. Voice notes make me feel really safe. Paige goes yesterday, she goes, can I say something crazy to you? I'm loving it. I'm like, it's 10 p.m. I'm like, yeah, I'm looking through my gifts.

I find one of a chihuahua being like, like a funny chihuahua. And then she tells me something so serious and dark. And it was like that FaceTime meme where like your friend calls you when you're like making a funny face and they're crying. I literally goes, I'm so sorry. I didn't read the second text yet. I was sending a gif and he just started out. I sent her a chihuahua getting excited. And then she was like, I don't know if this life is right for me.

She's like, I'm questioning my purpose on this planet. And I was like, okay. Disregard the gift. Wait, that was so funny. I actually made me die laughing in my bed last night. Anyway, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so, so much. We're late for our next thing.

We're late. We love you. Talk soon.