Giggly Squad - Giggling about wicked, winter trends, and projection

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

Hannah is fighting for her life and Paige is making a statement.get tickets to live showspre-order our booksign up for our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit audible.ca. Hannah and I travel a lot, and let me tell you, I am so sick of hotels. Like, there's not one hotel that impresses me anymore. I'm just done with them. And that's why Airbnb is such a great option. And who wants to go on a trip and share just one bathroom like hotels? And also I feel like you make so many more memories

when you're in an Airbnb because your rooms are all in the same hallway. You can be in the kitchen together. It's just a lot more fun. I've stayed at so many Airbnbs for bachelorette parties and it truly is the difference between a good bachelorette party and a eh bachelorette party. So next time you're planning a trip, try Airbnb. Sup gigglers.

Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean the gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gastrointestinal giggler? I have to formally apologize. The podcast is late by a day.

Surprisingly, not because of Paige, because of me. No, because of me. I have been peeing from my butthole. I'm on day three. Don't be jealous. I have a stomach flu. I know the girlies are like, why not me? Well, chase your dreams.

Can't. But truly, when you do have a stomach flu, are you looking at the bright side of things where you're like, do you feel like all the toxins are just leaving your body? Some kind of detox is happening, but I'm like, what kind of devil is living in my stomach right now?

Also, I think... You were with two kids under too. That's what Dez said. Dez was like, well, you're with kids, so that's what happens. Also, I think your body does just break down after a certain amount of touring. It's just part of it.

Also, I looked in the mirror and I was like, oh my God, I look so pale. And then I was like, or did my spray tan just wear off? I can't tell if I'm pale or it's just November. Okay, here's the one thing with Giggly Squad touring. I can't look pretty this many days in a row. No, we don't. Like, at the last show, what was our last show, Chicago,

my makeup just like wouldn't actually even go on my face anymore. It was like, bitch, there's no amount of concealer and contour to make you look alive. I feel like the show itself is getting funnier, but the back end is getting less funny. We're crashing, we're crashing. It's not good over here.

And we're about to go to Texas. Here's the other thing, we've also gotten so insanely close, it's not good for humanity. No, it's not good. We haven't seen each other in 24 hours. We just chatted for a full hour before we recorded because so much happened. We'll literally go to bed after a show at midnight,

wake up at 9 a.m. at the airport and I'll look at her and I'll be like, what's the gossip, what's going on? She's like, bitch, we've been asleep for nine hours straight and I'm like, you have nothing to give me? Nothing happened since we were gone. I usually can muster up a small trinket of something. Like just a little nugget. Someone liked this on Instagram and I'll be like,

that's the tea, that's the tea. I'll just start making shit up. I'm like, imagine if this happened. Here's what, there is one small piece of discourse. I feel like I would like to address that I, I'm so proud of everyone in the arts. I'm so proud of everyone. I'm so like, I love when people find something

that they love and I am so supportive of it. And I think that you should love whatever you want to love as long as it doesn't cause any bodily harm to others. I know what you're about to say. You're about to say something controversial. Oh no. Again, I love that people love Wicked. I'm so excited for that.

Paige. I'm so excited for that. Paige. I'm so pumped for them. I love that they're getting all their outfits. I love that they're going. I love that they're expressing themselves freely on social media in a way that they see fit for their particular lifestyle. Me on the other hand.

particular lifestyle. Me on the other hand, no amount of musical theater can heal the world. Can spark such joy in me. That's our favorite thing to say right now, Spark Joy. That a tear just falls down my sparkled face. It just. Wait, there's two types of people. People who can hear singing live and it makes them cry. Or people who hear singing live and go, this isn't for me. Yeah. Also, are you projecting a little bit

because you have been forced by Craig to watch musicals against your will? Now, as a self-reflective person, I would like to see myself as. I thought that. I said, is this just me having group mentality and hating on something that other people hate on? And like, if it was a different genre, a different situation and people were hating on me for loving something,

I would say go fuck yourself. But here's the thing, at 16 years old, my mom planned a beautiful sweet 16 for me. She got all my friends inside of a limousine. She, that drove us down to New York City. We went to lunch at Serendipity. We got the frozen hot chocolate. I loved my outfit. We then went to lunch at Serendipity, we got the frozen hot chocolate, I loved my outfit.

We then went to see the play Wicked, with the original cast, mind you. Like, we went all out. Hannah, I took one of the longest naps in the history of my napping career. Didn't see a single second of it, okay? Or was it, were the noises so calming? The singing was so peaceful and it just blurred you

to the deepest REM sleep you've ever had? I actually felt bad for my mom. And my mom was like, oh, like, I don't care at all, Paige. Like, you had a great time with your friends. And my grandma my mom's mom also dead asleep so it's genetic so it's genetic and I was gonna say something about wicked too which I feel like people might look at me differently after this but I had even less of a childhood than you never saw wicked once no wasn't even brought up don't even know the story of it brought up in once, wasn't even brought up. Wasn't even brought up in the household.

Wasn't even brought to the dinner table. And that's a family that I would marry into. I was crying on tennis courts. I didn't have time to go watch to witches. Never came across your desk. Never came across my desk. But where I think we're jealous a little bit is that we've never loved anything as

much as people love wicked. They've never loved I'm like where do I find my niche? I wish an outside source could affect my psyche so much that I could be in a bad mood something else happens to someone else and suddenly I'm yeah I'm overjoyed I think I need to see it though. I'm for sure gonna watch it on my couch. I'm gonna throw it on and see what the hype is about. I think we should watch it, we should livestream watch it. I'm gonna say, I'm probably gonna come back to a podcast

and episode and be like, I loved it, it was a great movie. But that is as far as I know I'll ever take it. Yes, yes. You know? The only time I cried was when I met Roger Federer. Yeah, it's just, it's not, it's not something I've ever been into. But I love, look, and I love Ariana Grande.

When she came out and said, What did she say? On the podcast, Last Culture East, which is such a hilarious podcast, that her fans were gonna be mad because she wants to go more into acting and doing impressions and stuff like that. I was like, yes, I think that's so, I don't need another pop star.

I think you did what you needed to do in. Well, life is about change and evolving. Music theater, you love it. Yes. Well, you know what? It is a great day for musical theater kids. And again, we support musical theater kids. I support all the musical theater kids.

I wish when I was a young child, I found that niche of something. To all those musical theater kids. I wish when I was a young child I found that that niche of something. To all those musical theater kids you're fucking lucky that me and Paige can't sing because if we could we would never shut the fuck up. Like we would I'm so happy I can't sing because I would be arrested by now. I'd be I'd be put underground. I'd be too powerful, is what it'd be. I'd be way too fucking powerful. I think I wouldn't be able to sustain normal relationships.

The streets would have been made for dance. That's one thing they don't say about us. Me and you, we've never broke out into a song or a dance. I've never once been like, you know what this moment needs? A little dance rehearsal. A little ditty. Yeah, it's a bad play on words. Absolutely, absolutely not. Does it need a little ditty? That's terrifying in 2024. Sorry to bring the mood down from musical theater. Yeah, we were talking about happiness and singing. Do you like the fashion of the premieres of Wicked?

You know, I was really hoping you weren't gonna ask me that question because you put me in an uncomfortable position. But I'm the Barbara Walters of this podcast. I have to ask the hard questions. No, it's so true. I, I, I, yes. Did you just have a stroke?

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I No, it's part of our show Hannah breaks out into song you are a musical theater kid at giggly squad live You break out into dance and song have you ever once on stage?

Let yourself sing for a second and immediately I'm on American Idol We're in front of 3,000 girls with a mic and I'm like I could say whatever fuck I want right now And I start just singing and then you're like, please stop. I don't know how you do it We were at one show and a girl got up and said it's my best friend's birthday, will you sing happy birthday to her? I went into an immediate cold sweat. I did the Marilyn Monroe version and I was like

happy birthday. No and that's why you're my best friend cause I was like Hannah will pop out with something. Cause one thing we've learned in the Giggler's Wild Life show is that I am a people pleaser. Is that anything the gigglers ask me to do, I will do. They're like, can you shave your head? And I said, ugh, okay, fine.

If you don't believe her, you should see her getting on a plane the next morning, not being able to walk because her lower back is fucked because she keeps doing the worm. I'm also doing the worm in mini dresses. So my Amazon granny panties are just out. I don't even know if people wanna see that. Oh God.

So anyway, stop trying to distract me. The wicked fashion, what are we thinking? I just think they've done a lot of premieres. How many premieres? They've been premiering for about a year. Here's one thing I will say when there's a movie premiering and they're like very much in the character of that movie throughout their fashion of the press junket. I love it. I love that they like stay on theme.

I loved Margot Robbie like doing all the Barbie outfits. I thought it was just like fun. Like when else are you gonna be able to wear those kinds of outfits? So I'm so into both of the leads leaning into their characters in a fashion sense. Do I think some of it could have been like a little bit more interesting to look at? Yeah, but who doesn't have an opinion, you know? That was so Kim Kardashian of you. Sorry, did she say that or did, yeah.

Sometimes the phrase, come on, give me nothing comes to mind, but who am I to judge? Who am I to judge? I'm barely afloat. Do you know what it is? I'm barely keeping it going. Do you know what it is? I think Ariana's color palette.

And look, I don't even believe in the whole winter, spring, summer thing. I think that's all bullshit on Instagram. You know when they're like, clearly she's a winter spring and it's like, no it's not clear because she actually looks good in all those shades of pink and no one's like gonna be ugly with a slightly different shade of pink. Anyway, yeah, as an Italian, let's not forget, she's Italian. She's Italian. And as an Italian who's bleached her hair blonde before, it's not meant for us sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes. Sometimes. I have loved Ariana Grande for so long. I thought, I've always thought she's an incredible singer and she's hilarious. Let's acknowledge that she is hilarious. She's so funny. And I know we make a lot of jokes about blonde

sometimes on this podcast, but there's just some things that only a blonde can do. Like a gorgeous drop dead blonde. And I just think Ariana is better suited as a brunette. I can't wait for the brunette comeback. Sometimes you know what, you don't miss it till it's gone. And I think that's what life is about. We have to have our different experiences in life

to acknowledge. We're growing. We have to have our different experiences in life to acknowledge. We're growing. We're growing. Our struggles. We're learning. Wait, and also about fashion, have you heard of the fashion trend, Madame Sandler? I have not.

Neither did I. It has not come across my head. Neither did I. I did this interview with this magazine and they were like, what do you think of Madame Sandler? And then I was like, am I that person that hasn't seen the TikTok clips yet? And I was like, I'm Gen Z,

so I don't know what you're talking about. But apparently it's dressing like Adam Sandler, but with a little cunt, so a tight top with a cargo pant. So it's like Adam. So kind of like a little Carrie, like add a little pop of Carrie Bradshaw there. Yeah, so it's like Adam Sandler but sexy. And I'm into that.

I'm into that. Then we also, for fall, or I guess it's becoming winter already, the frazzled English woman. That's a new trend. So it's basically like you're looking like you just, you threw on all these layers and your scarf is falling off and your hats Who the fuck is coming up with these I'm done. I'm done now. I've hit my limit I think it's AI. It's not it. I'm not doing a new persona every time

They're projecting this is the projecting episode Someone's having some identity problems and they're projecting. This is the projecting episode. I can't be all of these things. Paige, you've always been aware of trends and I've brought this up before because this is the first year I'm aware of trends. Do you feel fucked with by the industry

that they're like, oh, now we're not doing glazed donut nails, now we have to do glazed coffee nails and it's like at one point Are you like stop fucking with me? It's human stuff like it was human Because I like these donut nails and I'd like to continue them It's Jim. I mean here's I will say in from a style standpoint as I get older I feel like I do lean I love a trend I do love like trying certain things and like Giggly Squad Live is actually a perfect place

for where I'm like, where will I ever wear this? Okay, I'll wear it to Giggly Squad. But in my everyday life, I've started to feel like I've leaned more classic style because I'm on trend overload. Like I can't do it anymore. And I do think sometimes trends can help you learn about yourself, like every now and then you'll see a trend

and be like, I fuck with that, take that. But then leave all the other trends that you don't think is made for you because then, It's too much. Capitalism wins again. And here we are. The fall is all about getting together with friends, whether it's a festive fall brunch

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of their family history. A Real Pain was one of the buziest titles at Sundance Film Festival this year, garnering rave reviews and acclaim for both critics and audience alike. See, A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. If you're looking for the perfect stackable rings, I feel like I'm always on the hunt for like a really good stack of mini cute rings, then Majore is the place to go. I actually just got this gold and silver, it's kind of like intertwined ring because I feel like so many people are like you're either gold or you're either

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I have three holes in each ear, so I love buying cute little things that go with whatever look I'm doing that day. So start stacking your favorites and shop online or visit majore.com to find a store near you. If there's one brand that really nails their products and knows what they're talking about, it's Dyson. Everything I own from Dyson is my absolute favorite and it's no different with the Dyson OnTrack headphones. Everybody knows that I'm an iPad kid. Whenever I travel, I'm immediately headphones on, iPad on, and the Dyson OnTrack headphones have up to 55 hours of listening with active noise cancelling enabled. That is a dream come true for me. And they have a quick charging feature that delivers two and a half hours of

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it feels like to be in the spotlight. Interior Chinatown is streaming November 19th, only on Disney Plus. Can I say one thing about the male population? I'd love if you did. Have you thought about when people get married how men are mister? They're always mister whether they're married or not. But once you get married, you are not MS anymore, you are MRS.

And it comes from the old school concept that like women, women are only about. I love, wait, hold on. I love when you're telling a fact and like your voice changes a little. Like if it's- It's my teacher voice. Like I love the, yeah, like I love the inflection

of a fact, you know? It's like this really happens within this hour. Yeah, but we do want to differentiate. Take out your notebooks, kids. Cause today I'm about to teach you about life. Now. You're like if Miss Frizzle grew up. By the way, someone said they yassified Miss Frizzle,

like the way she looks now, she like doesn't even have curly hair. She has like a snatched waist. Did you see that? Now that'll bring me to tears. I have seen it. It's so, it's so unbecoming. It's so, it's not right.

No, like when did she get a keratin treatment on her hair? What was wrong with her beautiful curly hair? No, I'm like, why did you guys do that? No. Yeah, I'm like, Ms. Frizzle made every wacky art teacher like my favorite teacher. Yes. Normalize the frazzled art teacher for fall as a trend.

Don't brush your hair. So yeah, when we get married, we have to change our front of our name to MRS because women's value is intrinsically if we're married to a man or not. Hold up on that fact. No, but it's important for society. Women's value is what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? My butthole by a thread right now. I'm holding on by a thread. I'm saying that why do we have to know if women are married or not,

but we don't have to know if men are or not? Because it affects women's status to know if they are married or not. Because I'm sorry. 100%. Why does my husband stay Mr. but suddenly I have to change it to MRS? Because suddenly I'm more of value because I'm married.

Actually, a lot of the time, your husband makes your life worse. Well, statistically, that's not that bad. So my thing is, I'm done. I'm done with the MRS. I'm done. We're not doing it. I actually,

I mean, sometimes I'll see like M-I-S-S, like Miss Paige DiCerbo, but if I have to write it myself, I mean, sometimes I'll see like M-I-S-S, like Miss Paige DiCerbo, but if I have to write it myself, I use M-S, because they don't need to know my business. Well, you're, because. They don't need to know if I'm Mrs. or Miss. So M-S means you're single. It does?

I thought it was just like a vague one. I thought M-I-S-S is single. I feel like M-I-S-S and M-S are the same and then M-R-S means you're married. Oh, so I've just been playing myself. I don't know, I could be making that up though because again, when was the last time I wrote my name? Right, well that's true.

Well that's very true. No, I, yeah I see that. I mean, but I feel like that's not going away., I, I completely, yeah, I see that. I mean, but that's, I feel like that's not going away. I feel like it should. You know, I don't want to know if a man is married or not. I don't want to be involved in their issues. Like, like, keep me, keep me out of it. I'm fine. Why did you write Instagram stories on DMs? Oh my God, I just got the Instagram update with the little statuses. Oh, the notes.

Right above your DMs. The notes. I hate them. I get them out of here. Well, this is what, I've had them for a while. This is what people don't realize. When you write a little note, it's only to people that you follow.

So don't promote your show or promote stuff, think it's going to all your followers, it's not. It's going to your friends who don't care. Don't type in it. I hate it. But I like it because I learn a lot about people from it. Because I'm like, if you're a person who writes in it too often, who are you talking to?

Well, here's the other thing. You only see the first four all the time for 24 hours. I'm like, I've seen what you guys have been doing. Do you know what I realized about my Instagram? I follow 6,000 people. You're a freak. That's stimulation overload for me. Wait. You don a freak. Wait.

You don't see them. I see the same 40 people every day that I don't wanna see. Can we talk about people's sexiest man alive? A little front page news action. So was that just announced today? Yesterday. Oh, John Krasinski?

Why did I see the version that it was Benny Blanco? Maybe they were doing a test. Maybe they were doing an A-B test and they put it out in the public to see reactions. Mine was like a fake TikTok because I was like, there's no way. Also, I just feel like in the current climate, we don't need a people sexiest man alive right now.

No way. Who asked for that? I feel like all the girls are like, ugh. No, thank you. You know what's funny is that anything like that for women has been completely scrubbed off the face of the earth. People don't even do a best and worst dress list anymore because it's just like whatever.

But for some reason, People's Sexiest Man Alive is just withheld the test of time. It's like we can't go on unless we know who the sexiest man alive is. Here's the thing, I don't care that it's like, I like it, it's whatever. I don't feel a certain type of way about it, but it's typically someone who's like been in the news

the past year who's like made some type of impact, or we've seen a movie from them, or they've been impressed. John Krasinski, who I love, who I actually do find attractive. I'm not mad that he's the sexiest man alive. I'm not mad about it, but again, it does nothing for me. But I'm like, wait, what, why, what's going on?

I was like, did something happen that I missed? It was just a very interesting PR play, unless he's about to like, start doing a lot of press and PR because he's like, working on a project or something. I mean, I know his wife has been working. I know Emily's been on the- No, I was just gonna say. I'm glad that he's getting facials at home, being the sexiest man alive,

while Emily has been working her little butt off, changing her whole accent in multiple movies. Has she done anything this year recently? She did the fallout thing with Ryan. Oh yeah. And then she was on fucking Oppenheimer, and then she had to do the whole press tour for that. She's busy, but I'm glad, oh my God, oh my God.

You're livid? Yeah. Wait, I'm trying to think who I wouldn't be mad at, and also, John Krasinski, I've not, like, I literally, I've seen, because I'm an elevator once, tall. Love him. It's just, like, we could do more. I feel like Sexist Men Alive, like,

give me something that gives me a guttural feeling. Like give me someone, give me an old man. Here's the thing, I actually, why wasn't it Killian Murphy? Hello. It's funny, immediately I was like Killian Murphy, Paul Muskell, literally pick any of them. Yeah, give me one of them.

Also give me someone who's like, John Krasinski, he was funny in his show, but like Also give me someone who's like, Jen Kresenzee, he was funny in his show, but where's the guy who's like, who has a good personality? Give me someone Jen Zee that's about to be the next generation's Brad Pitt. Give me someone who I'm about to watch grow. Not like-

So they put that guy role model, which was random, and I don't really know who he is. It was, it's. I have no idea who that is. It was very, it's very random, but he had a funny like TikTok about how like, he's like, all these guys don't need this, I do. He's like, no one's even gonna tell Harry Styles,

his publicist won't even tell him if he wins this name one man if Billy Eigner literally found me on the street I would die name one man Jonathan Bailey from wicked now why here, now I stand with the music theater folk. Why the fuck was it not Jonathan Bailey? There's a few gay men over the course of my lifetime, a lot in real life, honestly, that I have found out that they were gay and my heart has literally shattered. Jonathan Bailey is one of them.

That I'm like, wait a minute. So you're saying there's a 0.0. When there's a, as a female, like if you see like a super hot guy, like a Matthew McConaughey, you're like, yes, he's like happily married, he's so hot. Like there's a zero chance that I would ever marry Matthew McConaughey.

But zero is still like a fine for me. Zero is still on the board. When it's 0.0, it's a different kind of part. It's like, oh, they wouldn't even look at you. My current gay crush, I would sit on his fucking face. Who is it? Cooper Koch. Oh, no, I feel the same way.

But it's so easy for gay men to put on straight voice. And then it's so funny that they have to like dumb themselves down to be straight voice. You sent me that Tic Tac. This guy was like, OK, I want to try to do a straight voice. And he's like, what's up? And he like he's like, I'm going to do a straight voice while I'm ordering Chipotle. He just says the word bowl. And it's so fucking funny. He's like can I have a bowl? We also people don't talk about how

The what's what is the guy with Ariana? What's his name? No you phrase that perfectly Is the guy is Ariana he did an interview I said what? the guy with Ariana, he did an interview, I said what? What's his name? What is his name? Does it matter? Does it matter? I have no idea. That is a man who made a very smart decision

and he said look, just on the street, no girl's coming up to me, but in musical theater where I'm the only straight guy, I am Brad Pitt. This man had a whole ass wife and newborn child. I envisioned that him and Ariana had a Martha Stewart moment where Ariana was like you know we were all singing Wicked and it was so beautiful and emotional and everyone was crying and I just thought I'm gonna make out with that man. I think that's what happened. I think music, they fell in love with the music

and then fell in love with each other. And that's why I don't trust it. Yeah, and do you ever fall, people have said sometimes you fall in love with people, people fall in love with you because you love what they do or you wanna be them. Like do you wanna be them or do you love them? And I think sometimes you fall in love with someone

because you wanna be them and then you realize I don't wanna be them and then you fall out of love. I saw a thing on TikTok and it said, Leos fall in love with people because they like that they like them. That's me. Yeah, and I'm the opposite. I fall in love with people

because I like that they don't like me. Yeah, and I'm the opposite. I fall in love with people because I like that they don't like me. No, wait, that's so funny, because people, I'm like, what'd you say? You don't like me? Okay. I'm so proud of girls who were like, he's cool, but like, he was boring, or like, I didn't like his personality.

With me, I got that. I'm bringing it. I got it already. Yeah. All I need. I'll put you on my back. with me, I got that, I'm bringing it, I got it already. All I need is for you to see me as the light that I am. And the second you see me, I say, I don't care if he's so fucking dumb, he saw me. Which means no one else sees his genius.

And if I'm the only one that saw his genius, and that's another level of mental illness that I have to work on, but. Yeah. Now for the sex portion of the show. We've been saying this on stage, which is so funny, because we've been asking guys about their favorite sex positions,

and we started to realize there are sex positions, for me at least. I will only do third or fourth time we hook up, just to secure the bag bag. Yeah get the energy thrown in there. Yeah like I'm doing reverse cowgirl. I'm showing you what I'm capable of but I'm not making a habit of it. Yes and during it you remember why you don't do this all the time and why you save it. Yeah. And once you do it you're like oh I'm not gonna do this for a couple months, thank God. Yes, thank God.

But like people who are like, oh, it's Wednesday, 6 p.m., long day at work, let's just 69. That's crazy behavior. That's crazy, that's overstimulating. That's. No one's ever come home from a long, hard day and said, you know what, I'd like to, what could make me the most uncomfortable

while having to pretend that I love it? Do you know what's wrong with our, I mean, there's a lot of things wrong with our society, but one thing is we only talk about sex when it's the beginning of meeting someone, like movies, books, it's always the sex in the beginning, which is like, yeah, you wanna hump each other all the time. Let's discuss the sex of three years in.

And people try to be like, oh yeah, three years in, like, oh, we don't fuck anymore. It's not that either. It's something else that no one talks about, which is, look, it's more complicated. It's more nuanced. It's more complicated it's more nuanced it's more complicated also there's there's the sex where you don't even kiss why when I you don't even when I picture I never kiss during sex even in the beginning

you gotta pay more for that if you want tongue you got to pay more that's not for me it's not for me all the. This is never all the guys in the Midwest like to do missionary so they could hold eye contact. Page is upset that that made me deeply uncomfortable. That gave you a UTI. There's a time and place for us to hold eye contact sexually and it's never a nowhere like I it's once in a blue moon. Okay, you're like feeling so inspired to be in love, great. But like most often, don't look at me. Do you know what my toxic trait is,

cause I'm a Leo? Lights on baby. I go, if we're gonna do it, if we're gonna do it, let's fucking go. No, I'm the lights on. You're lights on. Well, here's the thing, I have vision problems already to begin with.

I get dizzy pretty easily. I can't be changing the lighting. Yeah, I don't like when it's like, oh, let's have sex. Turn off the lights and find me. I'm like, I'm not playing hide and go seek right now. No, if anything, that's freakier, because God knows what I'm doing with my face when I know someone can't see it like I am wilding out here like it's not I like to know where he is in the room like I

don't trust you like I need to keep tabs on you I'm not we're not hiding in a dark room and then trying to find each other chasing each other around the room. Absolutely not, absolutely not. From Searchlight Pictures comes A Real Pain, one of the most moving and funny films of the year. Written and directed by Oscar nominated Jesse Eisenberg and starring Eisenberg and Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain is a comedy about mismatched cousins David and Benji, who reunite for a tour through

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because we get Q and A's and every now and then I'm like, well, they know that. Oh my God. Do you remember the towel question? It's a learning process for us. The towel question? They asked like about cleaning towels. This is something like do me and Craig, do me and Craig,

do me and Craig share a towel? And you responded with the wildest answer I've ever heard in my life. But I didn't say that at the time. I supported you in public. You supported me in public and I appreciate that. And now we're in private and I need to discuss deeper. Hey, what'd you mean by that? Because I actually wasn't even aware of my actions in that moment were offensive to anyone. So I'm glad that you're bringing it up. The environment.

Personally, Timmy. I consider myself a relatable down to earth person. Okay, let me first and foremost say that. When it comes to towels, I am rich. Okay? My bank account has no bounds. The limit does not exist. I am spending money on towels. So if a person comes into my home and they say, hey, I need to grab a quick shower, no problem. I've got a towel for you. In fact, I've got seven towels, one for each day of the week because on certain days, I'm a two towel girl

and that's just how it is. I don't pick that lifestyle. And I'm gonna stop you right there just to confirm. You have a towel for each day of the week for yourself? Correct. So after you wash, you dry yourself, you put the towel in the dry in the hamper Not not always if it's a if it was a light wash day

Like if I felt like if it wasn't a spray tan day, and there's nothing on the towel. I'll hang that baby up, okay? Okay, okay. I'll use her tomorrow. I'm seeing some sanity Cuz spray tan. I'll use her tomorrow. I'm seeing some sanity. Cause spray tan. I'll use her tomorrow. Okay. Now the real problem that we would have to address here because this is much deeper than I, this is generational.

Growing up, my mother said, hey, dinner's over, it's time for your bath. And I went upstairs and I took a bath. I used a towel, that towel was chucked. Who knows where that towel went. That's a home of four people using different towels every single day. I don't know what towel ring this bitch was running,

but that's how I grew up. It was fresh towel, fresh shower, fresh day. Now I appreciate that Kim has gone above and beyond as a mother. And I'm not about to be Judgy McJudgerstein cause now I'm realizing. I was conditioned. You were conditioned, it's not your fault.

But also I am on the other hand where I'm like, does this towel still smell okay? I don't identify with you. And then I think, oh my God, if I have to put the towel in the wash, it's gonna take forever to dry. And do I wanna deal with that admin? Not at my house, not over here.

We got towels for days. They're just so thick. And then you know what? You have to redo the whole dryer again because the towel is moist. She's like, I can't. I literally, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. You're good, not my problem.

I don't have, here's the thing. I have alleviated towel mishaps from my everyday. So has Craig ever used your towel? I'm sure. But it doesn't matter because if then he used it after me, it's probably go, I'm not using it anyway. Oh, two uses, I look at it as, oh, two uses out of that towel. How often do you do laundry?

That really, we're really getting to the nitty gritty. It's always on. It's like a white noise machine. It keeps me calm. It depends because like being on tour, our schedules are just like such mayhem. When I get home from like a leg of tour, our schedules are just like such mayhem. When I get home from like a leg of tour, I'm doing whatever laundries in my suitcase

and in the hamper. And then it's building up until I get back from like that next leg. So I'm probably doing laundry like once a week. Like right now I am doing laundry like currently, like my washer and dryer are both going But I like to leave for tour having no dirty laundry That's what my goal is every time I leave for a leg of tour. There's no dirty laundry

If you go out to dinner wearing jeans You're out for like four hours. No dancing, but good heavy gossip. Like, you know, the heart rate got up Yep, are you washing those jeans? No, here's the other thing. I don't wash, I'm only washing my pajamas, my sweats, my towels, my underwear. Am I rarely, I'm rarely washing like clothes? Yeah. She goes, after I wear a dress I throw it away. She goes, after I wear a dress, I throw it away. Unless I've sweat in like a turtleneck or like a t-shirt. I'm washing my t-shirts, but like, okay,

like my tour outfits, like my blazers, all that, like, no, I'm not like washing that shit. I'm not washing my jeans. Well, you also don't. I'm washing my jeans like once a month. I also don't sweat. And for anyone who is wondering about my medicinal wipes that I was given,

I haven't really been using them because I don't believe in them or Bluetooth. No, Hannah said something wild the other day that she doesn't use. Hannah, what was it? We were in the airport. I said, Hannah, I have to draw the line. It's 2024.

It was like a ballpoint pen. It was something so archaic that everyone's been using for probably 30 years. And Hannah's like, I don't trust it. The science hasn't backed it. It was something so crazy. I'll think of it. I have to.

Do you know what's crazy? She was just like, never. I don't remember our show in Ohio. Like I can't of it, I have to. Do you know what's crazy? She was just like, never. I don't remember our show in Ohio. Like I can't find it in my brain. Well you wanna know what's crazy? I am like that with like every event in my life unless you tell me what I was wearing and I can recall at least, I can like find one memory

from it. And so from Ohio, I know that my dress broke. Oh my gosh. Okay, let me tell you guys the tea. I know that my button popped off. Early on her button pops off, but she's fine. She's not moving. She's in the chair the whole time.

She's fine, but she's looking at me like the world is over. Also, there's another button that's securing the dress. Like her dress isn't wide open. Yeah, like I'm not naked. She's not naked, it's just the sparkly button she liked on it that was there pretty much purely for just style.

I wore the wrong pair of boots yesterday, I forgot to put the correct boots with an outfit and then I went and took a picture. The self-loathing that happened that night that I put the wrong boots on, it changed the whole course of my evening. Oh, you wore the wrong boots in one of these last shows? No, yesterday I had to take a picture for something

and I wore the wrong boots. Oh. Like, not the wrong boots for like a brand or anything, just in my own head I wore the wrong boots. Yes. And I'm like, and now I'm gonna post this picture and I'm gonna know that I have the wrong boots on. That would have made the outfit so much better,

but the people won't know that. And it's changed my whole, I can't stop thinking about it. Okay, and I love that you're spiraling over that right now. Thank you. Because sometimes we take external things that we're stressed about and we put it into something that we find more familiar. Also, I would argue that change your perspective.

You say, you know what? Why are we saying it's worse? Maybe it's better maybe it's better it's not though because i have eyes and i can look at the picture in the outfit well i can't wait to see this picture what was i saying finish your original thought i don't know oh oh i was saying when i was you guys i've been having liquid diarrhea for three days i have nothing left i watched watched my crazy- My dress broke in Ohio and I was like-

Oh yeah, sorry. Your dress broke Ohio. We're all upset. Next day, she is uppity on stage. Like Paige is like- I'm into, we're in Toronto. Actually, I'm gonna, I'll take this joke. And she's riffin'.

She's like, she's at the point where I was just enjoying the show. I sat back, I was laughing. I said, who is this girl on stage right now? Not that she isn't always hilarious, but she had a spunk to her. And I literally on stage called her out. I was like, you're killing it right now.

Are you okay? I was like, did she take a new beta walker? What's going on? Yeah, had I doubled up. And she looks at me and she goes, oh, I love my outfit tonight. And I was like, I doubled up. And she looks at me and she goes, oh, I love my outfit tonight. And I was like, you simple motherfucker. All you need is to just like your outfit

and suddenly she's singing the Star Spangled Banner on stage. Here's the thing, when I'm a simple gal, people won't always put all these things on me. Oh, she's high maintenance, she's a bitch, she's blah, blah, blah. I'm a simple, simple girl. I'm just a girl.

When I put, when you go shopping and you see a top that you like, you say, oh, I really like that top. I'm gonna buy that because I know that I would wear that top. Sometimes you're not thinking what you're going to pair that top with. So the top comes in the mail, you look at it, and you say, what do I have in here

that I could put together with it? And when I find the most perfect ensemble of something that I wasn't even pre-planning or buying to go with a specific item, the joy that sparks in my creativity, and I feel like so accomplished, I'm like, oh my God, that looks so fucking cool, and I just did that in 10 minutes.

I take that with me everywhere. Not to call you a hypocrite, but the Wicked fans are furious right now because they're like, this bitch is coming for me for being so happy about a three hour movie and a musical that's been one of the best selling for years. And this bitch just put together a top and a bottom, a matching set, set arguably that goes together

and it made her like, and it made her, do you know the demons I'm fighting in my own mind? Justice for Wicked. Justice for Wicked. Justice for Wicked. Justice for Ariana Grande. I wish that putting a top and a bottom

that kinda look cute together would erase all my anxieties. I wish it could be that peaceful up here. I left Toronto show being like do I need beta bloggers? Is that a placebo effect? Did I just have to remember the fuck I was? Everything is relative and it's all perspective and nothing is real. Not to be negative, but I find when something horrible is happening in my life, the only way I truly get over it is for something else horrible to happen because then you will forget about the other horrible thing

because you're too fixated on the normal thing and that's called moving and grooving. That's called just keep swimming. But I like that with you, it's like, just keep trying on another outfit each day and one of those outfits is gonna inspire you to live life to the fullest. Oh!

But while I was bleeding from my butt hole yesterday, I watched My Crazy Ex. I think it's, it's not My Crazy Ex Girlfriend which is a great show also. This is like a documentary thing. I get hesitant when these documentaries come out, true crime, that are like five different seasons about a certain topic,

because I'm like, I don't know, why aren't they on their own? Like are they too weak enough stories to not be on their own? Why are we doing this? Yeah. When I tell you each story, broad it, when I tell you these exes.

Oh, like each episode is a different situation. Oh my God, just a girl sitting there or a guy being like, so I met this person out of Wendy's, and then it's the most insane story you've ever heard in your fucking life. Like people getting framed for stuff they didn't do, going to jail because they're ex. Do you know that that's one thing that like in my childhood

that I was really afraid of in my adulthood, like I thought people were gonna be out here framing each other way more often. Like I was really scared of being framed. Well do you know why? Because it was really easy in the 80s to frame people because they didn't have DNA. I'd be so scared in the 80s,

they just had to be like, she done it. That's what they did with the witches in Salem, they were like, she did it, she's a witch. I just feel like people don't talk about, there had to have been a lot of fleeing. Like if someone in Salem was like, you're a witch, I'd be like, okay, now I'm out, see ya, going to the next town.

There are a lot of icons like, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. You're a witch, god damn it, now I need to go to Seattle. Yeah, it's like I didn't want a journey right now and I have to journey. But also, is there some peace knowing that back then you could just like flee and then no one could contact you? Like now, I could go anywhere and I still get a text from that one person from high school

who's fucking annoying. No, could you just like go to a different state and change your name and no one would ever know? Yeah, that sounds fucking amazing. I feel like we could do that in Europe if we wanted to. I mean, we almost did it in Toronto this weekend. I literally almost stayed. I freaking love Toronto.

We had some drama with Chicago a little bit. We did? The Italian food was really good. We did make a comment about the pizza. Here's the thing. I respect all of your states and where everyone is from. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have my own opinions. I was booed in the Midwest at multiple shows

and I stuck by my statements at each show. I wasn't- Honestly, I respect you more because I would have folded a cheap beach chair. I would have been like, yes, whatever you guys want. Here's one thing, I'm not a fair weathered, you can't just sway my opinion and you think I'm gonna go with your group.

I will stand on my own if I need to stand on my own. And something that I am standing 10 toes down on is, what are they called? 10 toes down on. I was gonna say Dutch oven pizzas. Oh my God. No, the Midwest. Oh, cheese curds.

Cheese curds. I said that cheese curds were basically a mozzarella stick in a different form and people were living. Well, this is the thing, I can't support you in that because you haven't gotten the full experience of cheese curds and the way they're made is like cheese gets curdled and they grab it at a certain point in the cheese curdling process.

It's like really women in STEM stuff that you haven't had the full experience yet. I need to give it another go and I and I'm open to learning more. But as an Italian that was hilarious. I thought so too. My thing with Chicago pizza, if I need a fork and knife I gotta go gotta go. To me pizza is an on-the-go meal. And also if it's not foldable, it's cake. I didn't ask for a dish with my pizza. It's pizza cake. And I'm allowed to have that opinion,

and other people are allowed to love Chicago deep dish. It's not for me, particularly. One more thing about documentaries, someone did message me, and I think I do a pretty good job at this, where I'll give people kind of the idea of the documentary, I won't give away any big surprises or anything, or sometimes, look, regardless,

I talk a lot about documentaries. One girl was like. I love when you do your documentary stuff, because here's the thing, bitch, I'm not watching it. Why the fuck would I watch it when my other half has already watched it, dissected it, put it in MLA format and is gonna give it to me?

Give it all to me bitch, I wanna know the ending. This girl goes, hey, when you say your documentaries, can you please not give away what happens? And I was like. You're like, sorry, I have a really dumb friend on the other end of the line. No, but my thing is also like, if you didn't know that Ted Bundy killed all those women,

like that's history. Like I'm not giving away a made up story, like just Google it, it's there. So like, I will try not to give the way of documentaries, but sometimes like people just know like JonBenet Ramsey wasn't found. Like I'm not dropping a bomb on people. You're not dropping it.

Yeah. That's how I feel about talking about Grey's Anatomy. It's history, it's her story, and I'm not living in your reality. Like in my reality, I'm on season 13 and all the main best people already died. So cut your freaking losses. It's literally the Red Wedding and Game of Thrones.

Is Craig watching Grey's Anatomy with you? No, has zero interest in it. And I love having a show that I know that there's 21 seasons that no one's bothering me about. I can skip whatever episodes I wanna skip. Sometimes there's a musical episode and you know what I say? Absolutely fucking not.

Next episode, I don't care what even happened on that one. If you're singing about it, it obviously wasn't that traumatic or serious or a part of the plot line. So see ya. Something about network TV doing a musical episode. What did you guys run out of ideas? Are you on holiday?

Like get your shit together. How mad were you about Glee? Never watched it. Never watched a single second of it. Want to know something crazy? Craig's favorite show in high school. I said, you have problems. Oh, yeah.

Can Craig sing? You know what? He's actually not bad. I'm surprised he doesn't sing more. Like does he sing? Not really. I'm surprised he doesn't have a cover band. But now, now Hannah, do not manifest insane debauchery in my personal life because that's

now you're directly coming for Craig. If something like that were to arise, I would be in Europe with a new name. Austin. Charleston Five. Oh, Hannah, stop. It's not funny. It's not even funny to joke about. I love it, you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it. I was trying to think of a band with two men, I guess you two, Millie Vanille. Okay. I'll take your word for it. Dez can actually sing too, but he doesn't. But here's the thing, you can't tell them. Like I've never commented on Craig singing, so like, and if I did, you're opening a whole can of worms

for me that I am not ready to deal with. Well, we've been dissecting the trauma and drama of men who like play guitar for girls when you're trying to go back to their place, and they like, and our biggest thing is like, they wouldn't do that to their boys. If you wouldn't do that to your boy, don't do it to your girl,

because we're vulnerable, we're scared, we don't know what's going on, we're in your territory, you've taken out a weapon, a guitar, and we're forced to sit back. So it's like you don't see these guys like hanging out with their friends at like 2 a.m. being like, hey can I play this song that I thought of? They would never do that. If I were to bring a man back to my apartment thought of they would never do that. If I were to bring a man back to my apartment and push my interest onto him. You think he's gonna stand in my closet and try an outfit on that I've been waiting

to picture on a human, but I just don't have enough energy to put it on myself. I'm like, hey, what are your sizes again? You bring him back and you put on more clothes. You're like, hold on one second, I'm gonna undress to have more on myself. I'm like, hey, what are your sizes again? You bring them back and you put on more clothes. You're like, hold on one second, I'm gonna undress to have more clothes on. What do you think about this? I'm like, wait, I'm having a creative vision

and I feel like this skirt actually warrants like a different top. We just want equality, okay? You guys, thank you for gigging with us. I didn't ship myself once during this podcast, which is a miracle. I think we're on the up. We're going to Texas tomorrow.

Do you have your Texas outfits planned yet? Are we wearing boots? Here's the thing. I am up on UPS tracking right now, waiting to see if any of my outfits fucking come in. I'm waiting too. If they all come in, I think there's only like one that I'm like iffy about but okay

We're gonna we're gonna work through it and this is just this is my job and I have to buckle down We're gonna buckle down and we're so excited to see y'all in Texas Also, I just announced some new working it out shows of new material where I try new jokes on people in Alabama Irvine, California and Timonium, Maryland. Timonium. Timonium. Let's go.

We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us. We hope we gave you an hour of light happiness. Giggle Mafia, we love you. Someone tagged us in that. It's calling us Giggle Mafia and we can't stop calling ourselves that. And that's that. See ya. Bye.