Giggly Squad - Giggling about widows, cruises, and cheating

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

We finally discuss the Coldplay cheating scandal and why we'll never go on a cruise.watch our youtube seriessign up for our newsletter get merch Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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bring Vizzy Hard Seltzer. Find Vizzi at a retailer near you. For more info, follow Vizzi on Instagram at Vizzi Hard Seltzer C-Aid. Must be legal drinking age. Sup Gigglers. Gary, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me. What up my sea glass gigglers? It's the summer still, even though I feel like it's almost over. Stay hopeful, stay wise, love wins. I don't know why, but in my head, like, whenever we're starting the pod, I try to telepathically think what you're going to say. In my head immediately went to grass-fed. Grass-fed gigglers.

See, you know what? You should have stepped in on that one, because sea-glass doesn't even start with a G. It doesn't. But you supported me. The second word does. The second word does. And you know what? Life is about perspective.

This is my favorite kind of podcast because, look, there's different energies every time we enter the pod. This one page goes, press record. I have things to say. And I said, I have things to say. I said, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. First, I just like when I'm by myself, which is 90% of the time, like, things will happen in my day to day. And I'm like, wow, the gigglers would really get this.

Or like, wow, I'd love to call Hannah in this one moment. Today, I did something so diabolical by myself that I literally giggled the whole way home. So I woke up this morning, did my little hot girl walk, went to acupuncture, like, just like living my life. And I am someone that is allergic to dairy. And you know what we do? We persevere. ignore it it's not for us it's for a different day so when i have my coffee in the morning i'm immediately bloated after that's just part of that's the tax of life there's few things you can count on

and that's one of them why do i feel like if i say skim or if i say oat it's like i'm a loser i lost like i can't your body can't handle that strong enough that's how i feel i'm like grow up and drink the 2 percent like what yeah so i'm get done with acupuncture i'm walking back to my apartment i also have to pee but i'm also just bloated and so in my head i'm like everyone on the street is like look at this bloated disgusting girl with holes in her face yeah she needs to get her gut checked like something's going on so i'm feeling really insecure in this like two-minute walk that i have home so you know what i do I'm on the phone I'm on the phone at the same time

with my friend Stephanie and we're chatting and I just put my hand on my stomach like this is a pregnant lady's stomach and I go you know what now the reaction on the street is look at this soon to be mother prioritizing her health and I'm also in a workout outfit

prioritizing her health and working out prenatal yoga doing prenatal yoga thinking of the baby's health and her own this is so weird because in my new stand-up hour I have a full bit about this I don't want to give it away but like we're on the exact same page you're an adorable fertile angel instead of someone who I'm in my first trimester okay wait first trimester girls snaps for you because people don't know like people easily think like

she's let herself go but instead you're actually the most nauseous horror like you're not even getting the respect of a pregnant person no people aren't giving you their seat yet i know and then if you do people are like and apparently it's the most it's the most nausea sometimes that's going to be me besides the whole milk that just throws a wretch into everything you do how's your self-care summer going Hannah i had a moment yesterday where I was like, hold the phone. Is anyone going to let me know that Sundays in the summer are quite possibly the best day on the planet? Every Sunday in the summer is the best Sunday ever.

You're an alien that just got put back on Earth and realized what a summer weekend is. I actually feel like someone who's been in jail. Yeah. And then I have to, and they let me out and I did my time. You have to acclimate back into society. And I'm acclimating back into society. where I'm almost like, oh, my God, no, should I go back? Because I don't know how to acclimate.

And then finally, I'm just like, wait a minute. I mean, yesterday all I did was organize my, reorganize, like, my closet and put things in different sections. And like, I'm over color coding things. Like, that's my new thing. I'm obsessed with you. And let me tell you this. I'm so girly and like I love grooming. Like, I've loved grooming.

You would just, like, brush your hair all day with a spark, like, Ariel. With a spoon. Yeah. I've loved it ever since, like, high school when I, like, realize that, like, women are, we're grooming. We're always doing things. And you know, and you know that Daphne's grooming next to you. Like, you're both just grooming each other.

We're both just grooming. And so, like, I'm on such a good two to three week schedule with all my appointments. I haven't missed one all summer. I mean, I'm doing my lymphatic. I'm doing NAD drips. I'm getting my facials. I'm going to the acupuncture. I mean, I'm getting my nails done.

I'm living the best summer life that I've ever lived. I've basically been touring since COVID opened up. And this was, I was like, doctor's orders not to tour this summer. And at first I was like, great. But I do have to say the first couple weeks, I was not. okay like I was tweaking like you know when you always feel like you forgot something yes like I was like did I not did I like I was just on alert and I finally have hit my suburban girl summer yeah where I don't even know what time it is and I don't care it's also probably a little harder for you

to relax because you grew up an athlete where I just grew up with like an insane mom so anytime I'm still I'm like well I could be doing more I could be doing it better I could be doing more things when really it's like maybe take a minute well I'm back in therapy because when things quiet down for me then it gets loud it gets loud up here and what I like to do is tell the gigglers what my therapist saying because let's be honest my therapist is our therapist remember that time she was like how about we sing it out that was a particularly dark time that she'd run out of strategies no she had me she had me dance off beat No, that was, that was hard for all of us.

This isn't, this is a new one. My therapist curses, which I kind of fucking love. I love that. I love it. Yeah, be real. She's also, she's over my bullshit. We're three sessions in. She's like, I love it.

Our latest thing is I win or I learn. Oh, I love it. And it takes me into our first documentary recommendation of the week. why do I turn into a TED talk like sometimes you turn into like old school radio where you're doing like these little anecdotes in between the top 10 hits I'm also like cosmopolitan magazine and this is how to feel self-esteem again and that rolls us into yet again the number one spot and here's our weekly quote of the day

I miss Casey Ksum remember that do you remember that when we were little it was like the radio it was like the top 20 hits on like Saturday morning or something I was just like see 100 and then it's like do you want to win this ticket and then listening to the fan and some guy cursing out someone about the Yankees but I went through a phase with my like eighth grade friends that like we would call radio stations and prank phone call them and my one girlfriend's name would always be paprika we went through like a really weird phase with that but like that's a good cat name we went through a big prank phone call phase you love prank phone call i loved prank phone calls in high school i could see you doing a tv show about that now like didn't they have like tv shows about prank i just think pranking is so funny it's an art yes it's a literal art and like as long as it's not hurting anyone it's fun yeah and but that's also subjective you're like you're fine and they're like nope you're fine i'm in therapy again you're literally i go you win or you learn okay you win or you learn but i there's a billy joel documentary and this man um trigger warning do you know he tried to kill himself like twice i didn't know

early on and it there is in the midst of fame or like before basically he was a genius and is a genius like when he was six he was just like playing made up fancy things like i don't i don't know anything about piano but like they always say some like crazy russian person's name like chachevsky or something that's what he was playing chesvsky um schrobitikov he was doing that above our pay grade chopin yeah yes yes fupon and then he basically great poopon and then he basically Poupon Also we said it seriously People will believe us

They'd be like oh shit he was good So he his dad like didn't respect him though And was mean and his dad left So whatever like fuck the dad The mom is bipolar alcoholic But like an icon we love her Supports him He's in a band with a guy

Okay Long story short he ends up living with the guy And the guy's wife Okay Billy Joel's best friend and his wife he ends up this is literally like a sitcom he goes i'm in love with your wife no he falls in love with the best friend's wife now it's funny because i feel like if if it was two girls and a guy if the girl did it people would be like you're a fucking monster but instead it was

like romantic people were like oh he fell in love with the wife well of course so like and obviously the friend was not happy and the wife just like kind of ran away from all of it and then he started to write like some of his deeper music wait she left her husband too yeah she left everyone she was like fuck this and he's heartbroken and that's when he wanted to kill himself and then he gets back together with her elizabeth oh yeah okay and she becomes his manager but billy joel's career in the beginning like nothing was working nothing was working like by the time he put out the stranger which is his album that was like the best selling album ever he already had like four kind of floppy albums of people who didn't get him and that's where I fell asleep last night but I just have to say

the tea is teeing but his whole thing is just like he just failed his way to the top but I love it so did he ever marry that lady they got married but they got married right before he like blew up and I went to sleep last night right when they were like he was becoming a star and that's when we knew we lost him okay and so like the friend he was just like like sorry the friend punched him in the face apparently which again such a guy move yeah um say something like that'll haunt him forever don't punch him in the face like be creative about it but that now they're friends again which is so dude so dude that's so dude like didn't he scare your wife and he's like billy's a fun guy bill he's fun i feel like if you moved in with me and my husband

the only thing that would happen is i would end up divorced like we would realize that he sucks and like we'd get him out like there's we would just start turning on him yeah because we're bored great now we can like bully someone together i'm just there to like end every fight i'd be like i see pages point yeah you just like reinforce everything but um oh my gosh the billy joel documentary is great a lot of drama also horrible week for cruises horrible week for cruises i'd go out and say that every week is a horrible week for cruises i mean you got to be a certain type of deranged you really do have you never been on a cruise no and i never would because here's the thing and i know that a lot of people are probably going to be like that's so like elitist to say and like

it because cruises are you get a bang for your buck so i get like why people like people from albany go on cruises like it's not like out of your realm okay like i'm saying you could have fell into it with the wrong a quick wrong decision you hang out with the wrong crowd you almost sucked into it there are multiple times where i've almost been sucked into certain cruises and i'm like they throw a couple um Caribbean islands out there and you're like what's what the unlimited food i've been on two cruises i went on a cruise with a boyfriend once the thing with cruises for me is you're trapped you're trapped that's the only part that I cannot wrap my head around because not only are you trapped on this vessel,

but everywhere you go, it's all the same people. No one learned from the Titanic. No one learned. I don't want to have dinner with the same group of people that, like, there's so many opportunity for plotting. I told this story before, but the first cruise I went on, like the first night, we saw like the hottest guy. I was like 17, he must have been like 18, so hot in the crowd at one of these stupid shows.

And my mom and I were like, well, now we have to find him. Couldn't find him all week, but like obsessed with it. Like woke up. That was my journey on the voyage. Found him like a couple of nights before the last night. He's so weird and then starts to stalk me for the rest of the trip and I'm running from him. No, it's like it's not. And if that's not a metaphor.

No. I can't ever go on a cruise. So they have a poop cruise documentary, which I love disturbing documentaries. I couldn't even click on it. What does that mean? I think something happened with the plumbing and like there was just poop coming out of everywhere. See, look, that's, like that's even below my sense of humor. I'm going overboard.

Like, let me die with at least some clean water. The closest I'm getting to a cruise is a huge yacht. Okay, that's the closest. And still, we like it docked. and yeah and even still like I'm not going on for a whole like I got to go I got to be able to get out at any moment Irish exit no you can't and that's my biggest gripe with it unless you yeah no you can't unless you a little snorkel with you but like that's too much admin unless you get into a smaller boat to bring you to land but it's like it's so much I was some wait I was some where was I and someone

used the word admin and I looked at her like oh are you a giggler and then I I remembered that admin is a real word that you started winking at her she was like is your eye okay I she was like sorry I'm just like I'm doing so much admin right now and I was like ha ha like and she just like looked at me and I was like sorry yeah no absolutely like just a cup of girls being silly and she's like I have I'm like a woman in STEM she's like I'm a receptionist I'm like right totally um the second cruise documentary I highly recommend you watch it's called where is amy bradley yeah i keep seeing this everywhere it's fucking good she's in sex trafficking is where she is people are unsure basically she disappeared

and the truth is when you're on a cruise this is why you shouldn't really never go on a cruise is when you're in like international waters there's no one in charge there's no police like there's no it's lawless so like when she went missing the cruise people were like we don't care we have 2,000 people on this boat that want to get off in Curacao, we're letting them off. And now it's a conspiracy theory of, like, people have said they've seen her on various islands. And then some people are like, I think she just jumped off the boat. But she has this tattoo and there's all these random people being like, I saw a girl that looked like Amy in Barbados.

And it's, it's really, it's dark. I don't know what happened to her, but I know a man was in. involved a thousand percent she was and you know what the worst part about it is she's a lesbian and so she did yeah and she didn't want anything to do with these men and these men she literally already swore them off these men came into her life so anyway i'm not sure but keep an eye out for amy bradley if you're in the cribbing how many years ago was this a long time like 20 yeah but like the parents are still doing everything they can to find her and there's there were photos that were leaked online of like from a prostitution ring and it was a woman that looked just like her no the men have to

be stopped they're so annoying can't they just like chill out for a second like literally calm down for a minute no I know also like you're in the Caribbean take a nap okay you know we never like talked about which I feel like we have to talk about now because I this element to it is just so fun we never talked about the couple at the cold play concert my god we never did and just like how much i mean national attention and how they just deep dived into all these people people's lives two things i want to mention one did you see the wife of the guy her like put out a statement what did she say she basically put out a statement of like i'm not putting out a statement in as like a distressed woman or like whatever I'm putting this statement out of like

basically of my truth and like standing on business like it's not clocking to people you know like she was basically like yeah he fucked up but don't worry about me essentially like I will like leave me out of this please and then the company that he worked for which I'm pretty sure like he started yeah um hired gwyneth paltrow to do like about like and about me like about the company and i just this is why i stay standing gwyneth paltrow i mean if it wasn't good enough trolling him essentially well they're basically whoever runs the social media or PR at this company is phenomenal yeah they're basically just capitalizing on like everybody now searching what their company even is.

So it's Gwyneth Paltrow being like, you might be wondering what astronomer is. And it's just her saying what the company is. See, I saw her, I saw her say astronomer. And I was like, that is a company for astrologies. Astrology. Yeah, it's like for astronauts. It's how they build their stuff.

No, but like, it's like, tell me what's going to happen if I'm moons in Venus. I think it actually is like something AI, but whatever. But we don't know. We don't know. that's like we don't care he supposedly is suing cold play which for him to be suing cold play and then for gwyneth to just be cashing a check off of like her ex-husband's back i something feels right i still live by her in that court room saying i wish you well that's your favorite quote of all time it's my favorite quote it's my favorite quote there's something that irks me when a

man makes money off women. But even Gwyneth Paltrow making money off this, that's how it should be. And I love that. Like, that's how we beat the patriarchy. But the guy suing is, it's giving gaslighting. I'm like, if you didn't want that to happen, maybe you, that's like when a guy cheats on you and then gets mad that you told your friend. It's like, then don't do it. Then don't do it. If you don't want people to react, don't do it. Rich people are so used to getting everything they want. And he got cocky. He got cocky. cocky going to a it's not even going to a public place you went to an arena that is meant to be filled i mean do you ever ever going to concerts you see the most random people you've ever

seen in your life you're like that was my best friend from third grade the goal of a concert is to get on the jumbo tron i mean i've only been trying for years we're trying for don't act like you didn't know there's a jumbo tron that's everyone's the only reason you do it is that one day they put the camera on you for three seconds also your your your husband her from behind it you didn't have to do that you could have been standing next to her and nothing would have happened and be an adult it was just so weird the best part was the friend who's like beat red next to them and someone was like we need to do a hulu like deep dive documentary on the friend and what's going on i actually felt bad for that girl because i feel like people

were really hating on her like oh she obviously knows she's like laughing like this is funny to her Like, as someone who also laughs when they get nervous, like, she was probably so stressed out in that moment and couldn't do anything but smile. No, 100%. What did you want to her do? Start crying? Also, she's no responsibility. Leave that girl alone. She's innocent.

These people are adults. Like, they're making their own decisions. But that's some karmic shit. And that was the universe. If you wonder, what are the chances? It was a small chance and it happened. The fact that everyone in America knew. about it is so, I mean, I don't,

I don't know how they move on. Well, we're in this very strange time in the world where when something goes viral, like it's a great thing in that people can go viral, your career can blow up in a day, but also people's lives can be ruined in a day. And it's kind of terrifying. It's a very terrifying time.

It's beyond terrifying. And here's the other thing. There's kids involved in this. And the only people that are really, really suffering right now are all of those kids because think about just like I couldn't imagine going to school this September after your dad just went viral for cheating on your mom like they're the only people that I'm like even thinking about but now I like need to know what happens with the saga like are they still together are they leaning in are they all getting divorced

are they starting a new company about how to not be caught cheating like I don't know I wanted to see the journey but I do worry about people's mental health with all these things like even the wife who did not ask for this kind of attention to be exposed here's the other thing like they could have been separated from their partners and like people could have not I mean they weren't but people could have not known that and still like dove right into these people's lives I just like I feel bad for the wife obviously and I feel bad for all the kids of each family I also it's funny that if they didn't act so fucking weird and obviously I just like I feel bad for the wife obviously I'm obvious no one would have known like if they just held the hug yeah if they just stood on business nothing would have been posted if you just said it with your chest no one would have cared also it's so interesting because I feel like obviously like 90% of like cheating happens at work because you're like with that person all the time which is like terrifying because like every time your spouse like they could potentially be cheating it's terrifying because we have no one to cheat with because we work alone you're like wait a second i literally was like how great for our husbands that we're just

getting yelled at by grace we're just been called millennials by grace and that's my workday we have our cats literally all i was thinking about i was like oh my future husband's gonna like love. I just mean Hannah. Unless I do go lesbian. No, but no, but let's be honest. Your husband will be jealous of us, but like that's, again, none of my business. None of my business. And I want him to be, you know. He should. If you're moving in or moving out or just want to refresh your living space, then you have to try cozy. Cozy's furniture collection are designed to work within your space. They're practical, comfortable, and make it easy to find your perfect fit. Their covers are washable and interchangeable, which means you get endless color combinations without

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See The Roses only in theaters August 29. You should. Wow, your connection with Hannah is, like, so good. Wait, we have so many things to announce. Wait, let's do some admin first. Yeah. Wait, why do I not know what we're announcing? I'm scared first let me announce that um okay so on Thursday the 31st Daphne is restocking their order in shirt which is basically like the button up shirt that can go over everything and then a full summer restock will be August 26th okay so the order in shirts available July 31st and the full summer restock is August 26th admin and then our next announcement is

Hannah and I are going to be on the Jimmy Fallon show not one night, but two nights. And what are we doing? We are filling in for the announcer who is on vacation and they said, hmm, who could we get to fill in this role that's loud and doesn't stop talking? Let's call Hannah and Paige. So we will be announcing the Jimmy Fallon show

on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. So I think that means we're like, hello, my gorgeous gigglets. Yeah, literally they're like, you know what? They've announced things before. They go, you know, Hannah's so. good with the intros what are the fans called of jimmy fallon like something or word with an f the the jimians yeah something we'll figure something out i'm sure there will be a script but yes

hopefully there is a script but let's be honest it's for the fits we're going to come fits maybe we'll make some tic talks but it's for the fits but jimmy fallon you know late night is you know going through a difficult time so they they called the big guns which is the giggly squad and then for our final announcement what is it i will be going to hannah's house this weekend for two nights we will just be enjoying a leisure hampton's weekend this weekend hannah has so much planned but she also said we don't have to do any of it yeah like i'm going to plan everything so we could cancel it so we get even high or high when we're laying down i feel i don't know it's like so exciting i feel like i'm a kid and my mom finally said my best friend could come over for a sleepover and I wanted to go perfectly but I also

like don't want her to feel any pressure and Des is nervous. Des is like being a resort manager and like running around talking about the grass. He's like this grass is dry. Why is this grass dry? I'm like okay just calm down. Page is going to notice that my mom called me. She's like can you make sure it's clean for page? I'm like yes everyone calm down. No it feels like our mom's like work schedules aligned and they were like okay this weekend is the weekend for you guys um I'm so excited I actually thought about like making a pasta salad and like bringing a pasta salad with me there's just so many things we can go full suburban mom like we can wake up go to Pilates come back like complain about something go tan jump in the pool complain about more stuff

I'm going to absolutely like have a cocktail. Oh, yes. I'm going to have a cocktail at like a very random hour and no one's going to know. Like you're not giving any, tell me you're drinking it. Yeah. I'm just going to like crack open a cocktail. I think that we'll probably like play some tennis. A hundred percent.

And we may play golf. It's possible. The problem with golf is it's so time consuming and I don't like being trapped. It's giving like the, it's giving a cruise of sports. Like you can't just leave. leave the golf course. I do want to swim from one end of the pool to the other, and I do want you to time me. Yes, and we can do mermaids.

We can do, what's it called, handstands? Mm-hmm. We can see how long we could go underwater for. I do have extra goggles if you need. Oh, perfect. And we're going to be reapplying our SPF. And I'm bringing Kitty. And you're bringing Kitty who.

It's a cat sanctuary there. Has she been to the Hamptons? She hasn't. wait we're going to do summer house daphne butter edition and see how many fights they get into i kind of love that just like throwing them in a room together and being like what do you think i feel like butter will get arrested yeah no i'm so excited i'm so excited i'm so happy um also i have an update this is like very intrusive about my life but i feel like we're there with the gigglers my birthday's coming up yes

I'm turning 29. And I, Des and I, like, you start kind of running out of gifts, like, where you're five. And, like, you know, you've kind of shown all the tricks, all the obvious ones you've gotten. And I feel like last birthdays, we didn't do that well. Like, I've definitely fucked up a couple of presents than he has also. But he surprisingly looks at me and he goes, by the way, I got you really good present this year. And I was like, oh, interesting.

Yeah. And I feel like this isn't even like a big, like next year, I feel like it's a big one for you. Yeah. I just thought it was interesting that he like, because of the top of my head, I'm like, is there something obvious that I've been wanting? But then I was on the film with my mom and my mom, I love to throw. I normally don't know what I want at all. And I was talking to my mom and she's like, what's something that you might want? And I go, you know, and does it sitting next to me and I go, you know, I would love a painting set.

Like I, like, imagine me in the Hamptons with like the sun coming in, a little coffee, a little cat on my my lap and I'm painting free painting free balling whatever comes to my heart you're rachel macadams in the notebook a hundred percent and might i put it on etzy might i not i don't know but i'm just painting and feeling myself and des goes whoa whoa whoa whoa that's what i got you and i gave it away wait what and he goes you know a giggler messaged me and told me that she thinks you'd love a painting set so full circle moment the gigglers told us Des what I want before I even knew I wanted it. No, not the gigglers literally

running my marriage. The gigglers better be ready for when I get engaged so that like the man knows what rang. I mean. No, but like Des reads his DMs from the gigglers and like he stays posted on my life. So the gigglers will give him little piece of advice when he's not with his other family.

They're like, by the way, when you come back to Hannah. They're so thoughtful. No, the gigglers know me more than anything. And I feel like... I didn't even think in the five years that you've been married. I haven't thought once to text Des and be like, hey, you should probably get her. Like, hasn't even crossed my damn mind. No, it's like so adorable.

And I think it's because we did Hannah Page Try New Things. And they saw this like, you know, deep love of painting that I'd been suppressing for so long. And they said, I'm going to message her husband. And he was receptive. I miss Hannah and Paige try new things. Everyone does. No, I miss it so freaking much. Actually, I was in an Uber the other day and I was just like thinking of random things that would be so funny if we tried.

This is the thing. If you say like Hannah and page, can you try this? We'll be like, no. But if they're like, can you do it for content for the gigglers, we're like, cancel all my plans. We're going. Like, it actually is a cool way to force us to do things. I want to try like glass you know when you like create glass art I think we should start like a shared note of like really intense things that we like bucket list item things that we legitimately should try but I'm not jumping off a plane no well we're not like there's no near death yeah unless we're having a bad week unless we need views like unless it's getting really grim out here we go okay is Hannah going to survive Pop culture moment.

Yeah. I have a celebrity couple I'm obsessed with. Can I try and guess? Yeah. New couple, old couple. They're like fairly new and like they were kind of in the press for a second, now they're kind of back. Fairly new. In the press for a second, now they're kind of back.

Are they? It's really adorable. Are they Gen Z or are they millennial? Neither. Neither. Okay, so they're older. Meryl Streep and Martin Short. Obsessed with them.

But that's not who you're thinking of. But it's that vein. She's famous, he's famous. They're both famous. Yep. Older. Jennifer Aniston and whoever the new guy is. No.

This woman also has been involved in like a lot of public love stuff. A lot of public love stuff. And she's kind of had her redemption story recently. like she's on her redemption Lindsay Lohan No I don't know give it to me Give me the first letter

P Pete Davidson She's on her redemption I was like wait He's a millennial P A P A M

Pamela Anderson And Liam Neeson Have you seen them I have seen them So I'm also biased Because I love Irish men and he is this older, funny, cool Irish man that, like, is obsessed with him. Also, Liam Neeson is hot, and he's big.

Yeah. And he's, he's dangerous, but he's also tired, which you know I love. Like, he could have back in the day punched someone out, but he doesn't want to anymore. I don't want him to have the energy to get into a bar fight, but I want to look like he's won a couple bar fights back in his day. Yes. Yes. and they're like adorable on the red carpet i don't know and old people in general are adorable so you want to know what else he's very masculine like he's very manly there's just something about him where you're like

i'd be safe with him and that isn't that ultimately the only thing we want like where you feel like you can turn your brain off and be like safe and he gives that he gives both of those so immediately. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And she, I feel like he's so not her traditional type. Like, I know he's an actor, but like musicians, men are so emotional. Well, creatives, I feel like are so emotional.

And that's why I can't do it. And you tend to be narcissistic because you're always like, my art. Like a man being like, my art. To express my feeling. Like, no, no, no. And it's like if they're sitting in a glam chair at any, point in their lives get the fuck away from me get 10 feet securely away from me but i love billy joel i love billy joe he's allowed to sing he's allowed to sing because he has a voice of a different

era but he also like talks like a trucker from long island he's like i'm billy joe but he and he doesn't want the fame that's what if a man is an artist i want them to be like a tortured genius that didn't want the attention but they just have to do it to survive but like they don't want a photo shoot promotion no like if someone's like you have to do a spread on this magazine they were like what's a magazine no no i don't want my man ever doing a spread oh don't do a spread if you do a spread my legs will never spread for you never never um so i'm obsessed with them i'm tracking them i'm checking in let's a fuck love young love young love to me is depressing young love i'm like they're going to break up soon well there's so many variables there's so many variables old love they've seen some shit

they're wise they're wise there's a reason they're with each other and also it could be the last one also there's something about a widower a you know that it's just like he actually he didn't get divorced his wife passed away like and that is i could cry it's that there's something so much more endearing so it's not like he has this like you there's never the chance of him being like oh my fucking ex-wife you know like that seems icky to me he would say oh my adoring my late wife oh would have got punched you wouldn't be jealous of his late wife you wouldn't be like well you think you about her let me think if i am jealous this is a hot topic i'm 100% jealous because you want to know why it's even worse because you can't be like oh that crazy bitch because you can't speak ill of the

of the dad yes that's such bad karma and two because she he'll always love her more because he can't get her and men love that men love a girl that is unattainable and she that bitch one she was like you can't have me and let me tell you something i'm jealous of a high school girlfriend i want to i'm most jealous of the girl you lost your virginity too no i told me about her oh don't no don't tell me about her because i will be livid yeah i'll be livid i don't want to know about her i'm not really thinking about her i'm thinking about the first one you ever loved why is there something more powerful like there's one like oh yeah i got the guy and like the other girls didn't but there's something more powerful about you being like one of the

exes. Wait, I didn't follow that. Sorry, sorry, that's rare for me, but you, you lost me halfway through. There's something powerful. Sorry, start from the beginning. I love being a girl that he never got more than the girl that he got. Yes. I feel like I have a lot of different men in my life where like, like, all, I'll see them on my Instagram and I'll be like, oh, that's my ex-boyfriend. But we never dated but there's something that it feels like we dated and like you know and i feel like an ex but i'm not well if you had like a crush phase that's sometimes way deeper and more traumatizing than going on three days with a guy than crushing on a guy for six months crush you and guy for six months that's dog years that's 42 years i had sex with the guy like twice and he ruined my life for

like two years and he did nothing you know it was really just me internally i was like he's ruining my life and everyone all my friends are like you guys haven't spoken in a year but continuously ruining my life but then like when you think of him you're like is that because he is thinking of me and sometimes he is don't get me started on that you know how many times i've woken up from a dream and i've dreamt of someone and i'm like clearly they're thinking of me i should text them Don't. Don't. Also speaking of Zadis, the show Untamed on Netflix is with Eric. Eric Banna, who Zaddy.

I keep seeing it, but I haven't clicked. The why I think you might like it. It is about murder, which is why I love it. But aesthetically, it's so beautiful because it's in Yosemite Park, not to be confused with Yosemite, which is not how you pronounce it. so that you have somebody it's just like beautiful outdoorsy stuff but you don't have to physically be there hiking you could like appreciate it from your couch so i like liked looking at the water and the beautiful mountains and the greenery oh okay so you loved the the cinematic style the stylistic choices that the director chose and a hot grouchy older man which just like

turns me on Pictures presents The Roses, only in theaters, August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney, a hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters, August 29. just like I have no this this summer was just so interesting we had no theme we had no shows I love

talking about it like it's over it's basically over we had here's the one thing people like talking about pumpkin spice in the fall I'm not that no out of touch with reality like I'm grateful for the season and in the moment we're in yeah but we're too deep into summer to now have a theme or have a song or have a show we've missed it wait you're right there's no song and I actually have to say something because I know Haley Haley Biber listens to the pod and I want to make a quick update. I want to apologize to the Academy. That you didn't give the album the proper listen? I didn't.

And have you since? I'm fucking obsessed with the new Justin Bieber album. No, Hannah, because it's probably one of my favorite album. It's definitely in my top three of like favorite albums of all time. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

And you know that means something coming from me who's not really musically inclined. I have that album on all day in my apartment. And again, not me to my core. And you know what's cool about the album, I feel like sometimes musicians, again, Justin Bieber's a genius. And when you're first coming up, everyone's like, they're a genius, they're genius. Then you blow up. And then you get so big, everyone starts hating on you.

Like, he's not as good. He's not that good. And I feel like he probably missed, like, being respect. as like this like underground cool artist because you can't be underground once you're so big but this album felt like underground just like from his heart and I said I said it didn't have um choruses that was false that was false it has tons of choruses I'm obsessed with the song Yukon it I like it's just so good and he's so much swag he has so much swag and you want to know what what I'm so thankful for, especially because Gen Z, you know, like, look, they've got all their new words and all their new slang and like, I'm trying to keep up and I'm trying to like sound cool and I'm trying to like clock things and I'm trying to like purr and all the stuff.

I still, I use the word swag all the time and I felt as though I shouldn't have been using it anymore because I'm like, oh my God, that's like not a cool word anymore. but when I describe guys to my friends or even my mom like you know how like you can describe a guy like there's just something about them like they have such a swag to them and that's the only word that does like a good description and I felt like it was dying and now that he's made his album title swag I was like thank you because this is jargon that I use in my everyday life it's it's almost like a vintage moment for it. It just describes things so perfectly. Like, I'm not sitting here being like, yeah, but like his Riz.

I would, I'd sooner rather die. No. And I'm hanging out with a Gen Z teenager all summer, which, by the way, I low-key got some hate because you know I was joking where he's like, what's for, what's for lunch? And I'm like, go hunt something. And people are like, his mom's not going to like who you're treating him. First of all, kids need to learn how I deal with adversity. second of all I got a breakfast burrito this morning gave him half my burrito I said now if anyone

says shit about me not taking care of you you I gave you half my burrito he's like can I have the whole thing and I'm like no also there seems like something illegal about like taking care of a 16 year old like that's sex happening are like the same age we're literally I'm a child he's a child I'm not taking care of a child he should be getting us food he's 100% I'm a girl I'm a literal your elders respect your elders um but we i literally sat down with him and he was telling me all these sound cloud rappers but then i realized then i was asking him like do you fuck with drake do you fuck with little wayne do you like acon do you like Justin Bieber and i realized like my generation the older generation like our parents generation the music was so different but our music

is actually so similar to jensi so we started listening to drake together and like rapping together and Des is like what do you guys doing and then he really liked the crocs I was wearing and then I was like am I a 16 year old boy no he asked for my shorts you know I have I have these like long shorts I wear around the house he was like can I have these and I was like yes and if anyone says I don't take care of you say I gave you the clothes off my back off your back wait and then I got these like really um ugly colored new balance shoes and he was like wait they're really cool and I was like you can have them because I felt cool do you get close Aunt Hannah or just Hannah? He calls me Hannah. Well he's like it's it's almost like he's too old

to now call you aunt Hannah. I love him though like he's my child and the other one who's 13 I love him too but I'm like new to the family. I'm like the new aunt yeah so I'm like I have I sometimes I'm like trying to be too much like the fun aunt like I'm like you guys can tell me anything and does is like leave him alone. I asked him about tammy. And Des was like, please stop. I'm like, you're 16. Like, this is health. This is woman's health.

You're like handing out condoms. Yeah. You're not a regular mom. I was like, if you want to drink, just tell me. No, I like literally don't drink, so I can't even help him get a beer. But there is, he was telling me some new words. I'm trying to find it in my notes. But I, oh, okay.

M, no, I actually don't know it. there's a word for when you take a picture with someone and they make you look ugly because they're so good looking but I don't know what it is also he says what's good mud mud no I can't with the kids wait one thing I did want to bring up um since we're talking about like nostalgia yeah have you try the have you have the snack wrap the McDonald's snack wrap yeah is there any other snack wrap no I haven't but like I need to oh I've had it twice already it came out on July 10th and so obviously I got it on July 10th and then I got it again like a week ago they're so good they're amazing and I just want to put some respect on the

millennials who single-handedly fought to bring that back and it's like if well let's be honest like raps are not a trend they're here to stay And I'm sick of people being like, being like, they're just having their moment. No, they're part of the food group. And you could get a whole grain. You know what? And people forget about them.

And they dismiss wraps as if they're not. As if they're less than a sandwich when honestly, people respect burritos. People don't question a burrito. But then a rap comes and they go, what is this half-ass sandwich? No one's ever questioning a burrito. If anything, they're like, that is a fat burrito where when it comes to a wrap,

they're, yeah, they're, they're, they're side-eyeing it. They're snarling at it. Yeah, like it's some weird health thing, but you know what? Yeah. I need a carbohydrate with my shit. Yeah. Like, I need something, I don't even know what a carb is, but I need it. I really think that I need to, like, wean off of carbs and dairy.

I mean, after this weekend, because I feel like this weekend is just going to be like a dairy fest. I have lactate. It's going to be just like a cheese weekend. A cheesy weekend. But it's really fucking up my stomach. But like a wrap is a great solution to like a baguette. Do you think your anxiety gives you stomach aches? Totally.

But I'm going to be honest. I can't tell you the last time I had like. She goes, want to be honest. Never felt anxiety before. What is anxiety? Which is so funny because someone tagged me in something that said, my friend had a panic attack, but she called it a page disorpo and she goes, I just had a page disorbo. No, I love it so much. I just had a PD.

Last time I felt like I was having anxiety was Love Island, but I was about to pass out. So it's like I actually can't be held liable for that. Yeah, that was your body like telling you you're going to die. So I feel like that was valid. I haven't taken a beta blocker all. Have I? Oh, no, I took one when I had to speak at Create and Cultivate in L.A. But.

And the time party. No. Any of my stomach aches this summer have literally just been induced by dairy. And honestly, I love that for me. I'm so proud of myself. Because you know what? Let me just say something. We're women.

We deal with like real pain. A stomach ache followed by diarrhea takes 20 minutes out of my day. Light work. if light work like work I welcome it I welcome and my husband be like what are you doing and I'm like I have diarrhea and he gets all worried and I go this is just part of this long beautiful day I have and this is one of the moments of this day that I'm so grateful to be alive for I actually had a dream the other night that I was about to have diarrhea and I woke up had diarrhea okay put it in the loom So not only are women intuitive, but we're working on our schedules as we're sleeping.

And I've never been more connected to myself. Thank you for waking me up. When you're about to have your period, do you dream about your period? That happens to me. No. I always have a dream that I have my period and I wake up with it. Well, I never get my period, but. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. wait it's so fun about also having a cat is like she doesn't even know the exciting things that are about to happen like i literally just looked at daphne on the couch and i wanted to be like you don't even know they were going to hannah's this weekend wait you guys i'm okay i'm a little sad because we have hate remember my first three fosters hazelnut cashew and peanut all all accounted for no hazelnut got adopted by andrew colin um and brena who are my very close friends i'm very happy i kept her in the family so i can check on her and honestly like every now and then i'm like fuck should i've kept hazelnut like i love her and they're cat people they have oh yeah they're

she's gonna be happy it's it's literally like when you meet a guy who's great but you're like it's just not right timing and then he meets someone else and you're like kind of jealous but you know you can't be you're like it wasn't for me i can't it wasn't for us and if it was written in the stars it'll come back to me it's just i'll steal her yeah if i knew her i'll steal her it's just yeah so and i'll just be like can i come over and then i'll take her and peanut and cashew cashew's like a little bit shy and they're kind of bonded so the shelter is basically saying take them together because they're so good together but it's harder to get two cats adopted together because people are like yeah i want one i don't want two but i'll be honest one and two same thing and they have each other to

cuddle with. So please, you guys, peanut and cash, you are so fucking amazing and so cute if you like orange cats that are incredible. But now I have a problem on my hand because I have this incredible, incredible outgoing girl. And her name does named her yesterday. Her name's Cupid. Cupid? Yeah, we call her QQU-Q. We call her Cupidie. Hannah, I don't want to pressure you, like why can't why can't this be your cat though first of all butter would slit her wrist second of all she wants affection all day like she's one of those cats you see on instagram where the cat's like on your chest and i love this baby so much she's right now just like lying on my shoe right next to me i literally can't wait to get there because i travel too much like i don't i want

her to be with someone that can like cuddle her all day like you work from home you want a best friend she like she's oh she's just like but also she's just the best cat ever yeah and then we have rose and jack also jack black but also titanic reference and they're so beautiful and so cute as well but they're more like they're they're like very beautiful looking where cupid is like a silly runt of the litter okay so anyway they're going to be available for adoption but like that's that's upday in my life um but naming cats is my new hobby like you know how you like to name um nail polish i named cats yeah i like that for you and has butter come out of her room at all it was actually kind of sad last night i have two cats on my stomach as i do and i look through the glass door

and butters sitting there just staring at me like are you you fucking slutty cunt bitch and she but she's also just like how could you do this to me how could you do this to me

she runs back to the bedroom she says do not trust this ugly slut but her face was so funny but then Des was like oh my god and she's looking at me like how did you how could I trust you yeah I trusted you yeah and she was also like ew like they're not even that cute

they're not even that cute okay but then when you go to bed at night it butter like butter so this is like she's so sad I cuddle I'm watching my murder dogs I'm cuddling with the kittens and then I shut the door I leave them in the kitty room I get to bed does is asleep she's on my pillow waiting for me rolled up stop rolled up so this is this is my summer but it is kind of crazy because i'm literally on the road september to march oh and i hate to say it hmm you're excited i am but i also like got spoiled traveling with you where i'm like wow like it's so much more fun to travel and do this stuff with your best friend yeah because i'm like maybe i'll come for some of the weekends you won't no i won't you should see i'll be like in a random place i'll be

like in wichita kansas and someone like 30 minutes in they'll be like where's page and i'm like not she not want to come here somewhere with air conditioning i'd assume okay great we have oklahoma matted us kansas no we love all you states we love them all equally um you guys thank you so much for giggling with us we love you see us on phalan look out for Daphne drop get tickets to my tour coming up I just announced Carnegie Hall which is cool in my god that's so cool yeah it'll be fun um another date so we love you and we'll talk to you later bye bye bye searchlight pictures presents the roses only in theaters august 29 from the director of meet the parents and the writer of poor things comes the roses Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney,

a hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters, August 29.