Giggly Squad - Summer Break Giggles

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

We put together our favorite giggles from the past few years.watch our youtube series order our booksign up for our newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my grenadine gigglers? Quick update, Paige is currently on a plane from Italy to America. She's not happy about it. She's not in a good mood. So I'm just doing the introduction. We actually are not supposed to have an episode today, like court ordered. We were told we have to take a week off but we were like okay well we have to post an episode. So I talked to Grace and we decided to put together

all of our best moments from the last couple years. But also bonus at the end, we have a blooper video out on YouTube right now of all this footage from Hannah and Paige Try New Things that I guess we didn't know where to put. So I told her to pull the audio version and put it at the end. You should watch it too.

It came out last night, and then the final episode of our Radio City episode is out next week. Look at all this housekeeping. Like honestly, the admin is exhausting me. I need to take a nap after this intro. So we love you and enjoy this fun, lighthearted, best moment episode.

Look at me, I'll do the intro for 30 minutes and it'll just be an episode, but I'll shut up now. Enjoy. I've never had a guy try to like really choke me. Interesting. Because I don't give off that energy. And you talk a lot. You would think they're like, I'm finally in here.

Shut the fuck up. The only time I shut up is when Butter falls asleep by my mouth. I have an eye twitch, which means a man is about to die soon. Oh no, it's that time of year. I have to sacrifice a man. No, truly, I've had this eye twitch for like four days and it's so annoying.

Because you also think everyone's like staring at it. I don't even think that everyone's staring at it. I'm just like, what? Is it your bigger eye or your smaller eye? It's your bigger eye. Why did I even ask? I can see it. Old, worn, fucked up question.

Check your cornea. No, it's just like, I think stress. Back to me. Guys, who are like too good at sex, kind of gives me an ick. I'm like, what is this performance? Lay down, act like you're tired. Make me make you want to do this. Like I don't want you to be like welcome to the show.

Right. If you're like, oh my god, your mind's going to be blown, like gross. If you find the clit too fast, one, someone cooked here, two, it took me 18 years to find my own clit. Yeah. What have you been doing in your downtime when he like does the bra too fast and you're like, okay, you've chlamydia. Yeah. Like you just know you're like... Two fingers, just two fingers. And you're like, no.

Like at least pretend you're... But then if he takes too too long then you start getting sad Oh man, cuz you're like if you can't even unbutton this you're like, we'll be great friends. We'll go shopping together Men try to get women from to stop gossiping back in the day because it was sharing information So they would know what's going on. Yeah, so Gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy. No know what's going on. Yeah. So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy.

No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die. As long as it's honest and pure. And truthful. And she is a fucking bitch. That can be a fact. It's also really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it. And then, you know, so really we're just, we're fighting dementia each day. What also, when you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you.

And then the fun of it is telling your friends and reflecting on it and be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane? No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole Period of it being like and then they make this into an ice skating ring Every time it blows to my mind. I'm like and then they can do concerts here, too. Isn't that crazy? I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice right now? Where's the ice? Right now is it melted? You know, like I'm always asking the question I don't want to know logistics Like I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I want it to be magical while Disney underneath the court

Where is it at this exact moment? Where are you hiding the hockey players? Where they see they sleep here. I Realized that all southern men are named after labradoodles Chester, Wyatt. That's literally dog names. At least like a control span. Like Maverick and Jet. Sawyer, Mason, Duke, those are names of... Dogs.

Rottweilers. It's either like they sound like dogs or like really old presidents. Yeah, or if you take two of them together and you put a plus in between, it becomes just like a farm to table restaurant. Daltons Sawyer? It's booked for a year. You can't get in there. You have to know the chef to get into Daltons Sawyer.

Duke and Carter? Are you even allowed to go near them? Or it's like a really prestigious very small private school. What's the worst thing that you hear in bed or like what would make you cringe? Mine was very simple and it's the word what. Have you ever said something like during sex and they didn't hear you? And then like they say one you're like, you're like, am I gonna say it again? Or like now is it weird?

How long is the sentence that he wants you to repeat also? Like your heads are like different ways so it is he said what is not okay at least pretend You know just go with just go with it because whatever I said, I'm telling you wasn't important And if I mean anything I didn't even want to say it in the first place. I was trying to shut up and go on voice rest for like two days. No. You've sent me more voice notes than you ever have in your entire life. Wait.

Was that true? I thought you were just saying that as like a bit. Were you legitimately trying to be on voice rest? No, it's my new thing. Just tell people you're on voice rest if you don't want to talk to them. I legit, I was like, oh, she must have something like really intense. I told four people I was on voice rest if you don't want to talk to them. I legit, I was like, oh, she must have something like really intense. I told four people I was on voice rest. In context, this is how Hannah told me, hey, do you want to come to my house this

weekend? I promise I won't even talk to you. You can literally sleep in another room. I'm on voice rest anyway, so I won't even talk. I'm like, that would last seven seconds. Seven seconds. If you don't want to talk to someone, just say I'm on voice rest. Or if you want to really lean into the character Put it on your nose

When they ask for what what's your response you're just like not at this time well It's easier for me because they are the performer. Yeah Anyone could go on voice rest like if you have meetings Imagine you're a dependent like the newsletter one week. I'm sorry. I'm on Boy's Rest No, just singers get like really serious about it Everyone lost their virginity half at first right? Yeah, I think if you go full on the beginning you're half at first right yeah I think if you go full on the beginning you're not okay you should call your mom you should call your mom

I feel like every girl is like oh no no no no maybe next weekend I feel like it kind of hurts and like maybe next weekend I feel like I used to do that all the time I still do that I usually know. Did I ever tell you what my nickname was? Like, high school into college? No. Quadzilla.

Which, that's why I'm funny. You know, I'd quite literally dig my own grave and pass away. That's why I'm funny. Literally, like, hot guys would be like, sup, Quadzilla. I couldn't tell if, like, they thought my legs were, like, cute or not. I know. Men look at me like a horse, they check my teeth.

They're like, why are men always trying to treat you like they're breeding with you? Yeah, and they're like, what's your vert? Yeah, what? They're like, do you wanna race? Division one babies were a topic. Okay. And then they'd see me, and they'd just smell

a Nike sponsorship for their child immediately. Yeah, you could go with the sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line or I could fucking throw a football 100 yards. Do you want your child to dunk with these calves? No one's ever come up to me and said, hey, our kids might be athletic. If anything, they're like, I think you'll have a gay son.

I think you'll have a gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers. Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous. When someone says, Paige, you have to look your best at this day, she has a routine. All I did was get facials and massages in LA. And I started to get kind of paranoid that I wasn't doing enough.

You started to panic. So I started to panic. Well, then Lenore got involved. Lenore got involved, and Lenore was like, whatever Paige is doing, do what Paige panic. So I started to panic. Well then Lenore got involved. Lenore got involved and Lenore was like, whatever Paige is doing, do what Paige does. So I'd go online and I'm clicking every lymphatic drainage place near me, find just a woman in an apartment. Awesome.

And I was like, the price is right. Safe. She does face and body, I said, we're doing it. So I just went to a random apartment building somewhere in LA. What is wrong with you? You know that it's sketchy when the first thing they ask you when you walk in is, how did you find me?

She literally was like, how did you find me? And then she was like, your name's Vanessa, right? And I was like, no. And I was like, it's OK, it's fine. It was amazing. I don't think it was lymphatic, though. I think she gave me a full on abortion, I don't know what happened. Why are TVs so complicated? Why do you need seven remotes to turn on a TV?

You can't go to someone else's house and just turn the TV on. Is it not insane that if it's not your own TV, you don't know how to work it? Have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also like a rogue Xbox controller? They're like, use this, I'm like, what? Are they, oh my God, okay.

I'm like, how do I use that? If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia. Yeah, 100%. You will get chlamydia. He's texting multiple other girls. And he won't go down on you. If he says, here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller, grab your things and get out. What's your headphone of choice?

So I collect Delta headphones. So I have like hundreds of Delta headphones. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like hundreds. When you get on a plane, you put the Delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what? The TV. And if there's no TV, we're sleeping.

No headphones then? No. There's technology now that like you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again like when I fall asleep I'm not listening to anything. I need noise to quiet my own thoughts. I don't want to be sitting in silence. That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me. So you get on a plane most of the time.

Raw dog. Raw dog. Wait for her or he. To walk around and say, does anyone need headphones? Does anyone need headphones? And I always go, yep. And then I say thank you, because regardless, I like free shit. If it's, I'm gonna take it.

I'm gonna take it. I will put, the amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag is crazy. This is a wild revelation. And then I love a fresh new pair, you pull it out. No. Every time she walks by and says, headphones, headphones, in my head I always think, who the fuck

is getting on the plane without headphones? People are like, I love third and dinner parties. What is that life? Like that you, A, love to socialize. You're like, you know what would make my life better if I had to cook, decorate, invite people over and then clean after? That's my nightmare.

Having people over to my own home to socialize. It's dirty. Get out. It's get out. What if I to my own home to socialize. It's dirty. Get out. It's get out. What if I hit a moment where I was like, mm, and I want everyone to leave right now. I watch HGTV right now. It's like a weird phase I'm going through,

but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, what kind of house are you looking for? And they're like, we love to entertain. And I'm always like. I was trying to explain to Ali, who's a lesbian, our relationship. We left the house and she's like, she's your partner. Yeah, no, we're partners.

Because she was like... No, we're more than friends. Like, okay, if we were to be with another friend duo, I'd be like, cute, that's adorable. We would leave and be like, they think they're fun. That's so sweet of you guys to be friends, but we're life partners. Well, Ali was like, I love to hang out with you guys because I love being like a third wheel. And I'm like, what do you mean? She was like, I love to hang out with you guys because I love being like a third wheel.

And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I love hanging out with couples. And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, you guys will talk with your eyes all the time. If you're gonna gossip with one of us, you're gossiping with both of us, but it's a safe space.

Like we share the same ideas. She was like, you have a full partner. And I was like, I know. And I was like, I am the same ideas. She was like, you have a full partner. And I was like, I know. And I was like, I am the man one. Do pregnant women shave their vaginas? I'm talking like when they're about to give birth. I think some of them, I think I'm spitting out of my-

You can't see it. I have no idea. I think if you have like a midwife and stuff, they will trim it for you. I think nurses will trim it for you because it's uncomfortable. I would feel like it's uncomfortable. But also you're not going in there being like,

oh, I'm gonna make sure she's shinin'. I knew it was just a thought that I was just like, I need to know this. I think like you don't want a full bush just to keep it like cleaner. I have no fucking clue. I just feel like it would get in the way. I hate sleeping in bed with men.

I don't know what it is, because I can fall asleep on the couch with them, but once it comes to getting in the bed and falling asleep, I'm like, no, I have to be alone. I have to hang out with myself more. It doesn't make sense. We all have roommates, right? And then you get to the point

where you try to not have a roommate, but then when you meet a guy, now you're forced to have a roommate. But this roommate literally takes up half the bed and is hot and is breathing in your fucking face. Yeah, and I'm like, and now I can't watch a TV show and also have my phone on when it's like 3 a.m. because you have to sleep.

Also, I understand intimacy sometimes. I understand quality time. When you're both asleep, is that really intimacy? I need my own bedroom. Sleeping in separate beds, I honestly think is great. I need my own bedroom and I'm so down to start the night with you and then like start the morning with you.

But what I do in between is like none of your business. You're starting a business, you're running numbers, you're looking up past exes, exes, exes girlfriends. You have stuff to do during the night. I saw a TikTok that was like, I still stalk my exes, ex, even though we broke up and she's part of my routine. Wait, your comfort stalk. Your comfort stalk.

Your comfort stalk, where like when you watch them, it kind of makes your day. Yeah. I want a man who's more involved in the cooking and the cleaning. I do have to say- I really just want a housekeeper. They're like...

I just realized I want an assistant. Some of these girls who have done it right, they marry chefs. I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches. I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past who have cooked and it's been so hot and so fun

You have to trick them to be like, oh my god, I love that salmon you made Yeah, and then they like get passionate about it and then it gets part of their ego and then they're like obsessed with it That's what it is make it a part of their ego. Yes Right The second you make it and I go, oh my god. Baby, I love your barbecue chicken, it's so good. I go, my ex used to make it. Disgusting. Disgusting and honestly, he had a weak wrist.

Make him feel like hunters, you know? Someone said, you know when you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil? Yeah. So you'd get up to the garbage and you'd just like sharpen it and it feels kind of nice. And you'd also get to like, that's a version of a cigarette break as a kid.

I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me. I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here. I was at the nurse's office. The nurse knew me, okay? I'd walk into the nurse's office and she'd say, what is it today, Paige?

I'd say, well, I don't know. We walk into the green. I'm feeling a slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy. I feel like my past life when my children died of cholera is coming forward today. No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say,

why don't we just call your mom, talk to her for a few minutes and see how you feel? And I'd be like, that sounds nice. I needed like a midday pep talk, okay? It's hard out here. That's so real. So real. Let kids call their mom during school. What was the harm in it? It should be like a jail where they have a row of telephones

where you go you're getting a call from PS321 during the middle of the day. Mom I can't do it anymore this please. It's a prison. I showed up with a tie. And I think I went a little too business formal, like 80s businessman, like coffee's for closers. But I do have to say. See, I feel like you're giving news reporter, like high school sports news reporter. High school assistant volunteer.

Like, you know. Brandon is killing it today. I wish I had a son. I realize having a tie, I know how it feels like to be a man. It's like assertiveness. Well it feels like I have a dick. Like I feel like I was putting on my coat and I'm like, oh I gotta tuck my tie in.

And like I don't want it to be flinging around. I have to keep it. And sorry, I have things to report to I know How it feels like to wear a dick because suddenly everything I say You're like you're all this an over explaining Like Paige, I don't know if you know the word finance, but let me tell you about it alpha man I'm like are you gonna talk to me while I have my fucking tie on like that You don't see my respect tie? Respect the tie! And then you just wanna flip it around and hit people with it?

Dude, thank god I don't have a dick. How have 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do? I would love to see this list. Because hobbies in general... Get a second job. Playing an instrument. Is there any instrument that a guy plays that you'd be like, that's kinda hot? The recorder.

Actually, the fingers would be kind of hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast. No. This I can agree with. Cooking. Yeah. But I don't want them to talk about that they do it. I just want them to do it.

Woodworking? No. No. Let the Amish have one thing. And if you are a woodworker, you're a nepo baby. If you give me a bird house, I'll throw it in the dirt. Painting? No. No. Painting is for me and my iPad.

Swimming. I like it because it tires them out. Yeah, I'm not mad at that. Go swim. Archery? What is this, medieval times? I'm actually not mad about it. Old money? It's giving a little bit of money. It's giving old money, you have to have like a lawn.

It's giving like, quail hunting. Finally, traveling. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. That's like, get jobs. Get a job, figure it out. It's summertime and we have a lot of big moments coming up.

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Whatever your answer is, Toyota is here to bring you closer to the things that matter to you. Because they matter to us too. Toyota, for what matters most. I'm 32 years old, but like I was home. So like when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents street, I'm 16. 100%. I have to ask to leave the house. Like I could never just leave my house. No.

That would be insane. Get permission. Ask when they want you home. So it's like Friday night. Sneak in a weed pen. 10 o'clock and I'm like, it burns a little. And my mom can hear me. And here's the other thing.

I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while, but my bathroom is above her bedroom. So she knows when I'm in the bathroom. She knows when you have a tummy ache. I hear coming up the stairs, what's going on? Are you okay? And like, I immediately turned 16. I'm like, I think I actually might have a UTI,

but I promise I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay. She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to get a UTI, you whore. I was like, yeah, because I- She goes, I just was giving blowjobs. I wasn't letting him go in. I just didn't.

No, but I'm like racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex? You sat on an MSG chair with like mostly men in that stadium. I don't know. And then I was like, well, did I use a new soap? Like have I, and I was like, you know what? I think my immune system's just down.

Like I'm coming up with like all these things. I found myself on Amish TikTok. I'm surprised the Amish don't do more Amish retreats. Imagine this the next brand trip. Giggly times Amish. Grab your bonnets, ladies. All the big influencers rolling out dough. Hey, what's the coupon code for this dough?

But I think they don't- Where'd you get that churn? You know what we need? The real housewives of Amish. I'll go to Pennsylvania right now. Where the fuck is it? I wanna know the gossip too. You're like, did you try Becky's butter?

It was so bad. Becky can't churn butter to save her fucking life. No, her churning technique is so embarrassed. It's so chuggy. She's been making those same cookies every year. They think of something else. Also, she's been doing braids for so long. Forever.

We're done with the braids, Becky. They're like, oh my god, did you hear which hem Becky picked out today? That's so last year. Becky says she believes in God. She likes top 40 hem. She also tried eyeliner the other day. So I don't know. No, literally.

Wait, Amish people end formal education at the eighth grade. I love it. I'm going. So did you. Yeah. Most successful people are unmarried women. No, there's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married, the men's life, their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. Like, and that's just science because yeah

They are now moving into a home where like everything's clean Everything's aesthetic like there's a refrigerator with like more than just ketchup and so like their their minds are blown We're like we get in that situation and we're like Towels don't go over the door. I do have to say because I can't be fake. Maybe it's like my form of feminism I've decided that I'm gonna take on the male qualities of like I don't cook I put the towel on the door I take my clothes towel on the door. I mean it's lucky if it gets to the door. It's on the floor I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing. Yeah, and I leave it. I eat food and I leave it It's like this um empowering

Where it's like it's not my job No, cuz guess what mom was working I feel like men after a breakup will just go with the next girl because they don't want to process the emotions and they Need a girl to make them feel good where when a girl's in a breakup. She's like I'm getting new hair. Yeah, whole new personality new gym new wardrobe Going to an Ivy League school to get a new degree might even move You can put like and I really do believe you always level up after these traumas 100% that's why I'm so profiling like failing makes you so much stronger Natalie Nick viles wife. Yes, she said something and she was like, oh, yeah, and then I flushed my tampon

Oh, and the girls were like what wait? yeah, I'm flushing the tampon. No one's ever told me, no. You've been exploding pipes nationwide. I didn't know. I thought the signs at different restaurants and places like don't use feminine products, I was like, oh, they have bad plumbing. I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker.

See, my mom like terrified me where she was like, if you put this in the toilet, the whole house will implode. No, I feel like no one ever told me. No, my mom was like, everyone will die. No, like I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally, I've gone this long, nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down

because feminine products, I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. I know. We don't want it near us. You know what I think it is? You know when you have your period, you go through like a hundred rolls of toilet paper? I think it's a toilet paper business who's like, roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage.

Yep. Why has the standard for a wife stayed the same, yet the standard for a husband has gone down? She was like, my grandpa built my grandmother's house. Like, okay, now like any man, he's like, cool, I'll call a task rabbit. My final thought is like, men literally used to go to war. Like they would like get- Is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses?

You know? Also this whole time, this whole time I can't see. Like I can't see. I've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses cause I like the aesthetic, but like I feel blind. I can't hear, I can't talk. I feel I have nothing left. Men used to go to war.

Men used to like have their arm blown off and still run and like do what they had to do. Nowadays a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period and he's like, I can't do it. Men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on your period and he's like, I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period, grow up.

I miss Giggly Squad. Like I feel like something will happen on a Thursday. I'm like, am I really gonna wait till Monday to tell the girls? I do have to say Thursday, I start itching. I start itching. And then I like wanna tell you things and I'm like, hold it, hold it. That's why Saturday I was like,

we gotta move the pod up to Sunday. I got shit to say. Ooh, ooh, ooh. How about I texted you at like 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning this week and I was like, and I just feel like, I'm feeling overwhelmed. No, well you get morning anxiety.

I get morning anxiety. That disappears by 1 p.m. So I'm out here all day. I'm like, I'm calling Dez. I'm like, I think Paige is having a bad day. Like, what should I tell her? Radio silence from her. I'm out here all day, I'm calling Dez, I'm like, I think Paige is having a bad day, what should I tell her? Da da da.

Radio silence from her, I was like, call me whenever you need, I'm here. I go, she must be in an escape room right now, she must have checked into a mental health rehab facility and that's why she hasn't called me. Text you around 8.30, just like, hell you'll be. You go, oh my god, LOL, I was so dramatic. I go, I've been freaking out.

Oh my god, that was this morning. Literally so dramatic, I'm over it. Non-conventionally hot men, they're calling it rodent boyfriend summer. I'm just kind of sick of when men are ugly, them getting rebranded into a trend. No, no, no. Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't it be like long torso? kinkle cuties

Double chin divas It's never a greasy hair girl summer. It's never like slightly depressed possibly anxiety Sweaty dehydrated girl sex in summer never we grew up with like dad bods being cool which is basically like hey all the lazy guys who drink too much beer are hot. The PR on the men's side is so good which is crazy because PR I thought was a woman-run business. They're coming for hot girl Summer like all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend Summer. No, Summer was our thing. But also I think we're in on it. We have internalized misogyny like Yeah. No, I literally had it this week. Last episode we thought Dr. Pepper was a man, we assumed. And we apologized. I blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week.

But I think what the truth is is that most women actually don't care what men look like. We just want them to be nice. Yeah. You said the reason you decided to get a cat finally is because... Do you want to tell them? Like filling out all these fucking questionnaires that like Hannah's making me fill out. And I'm starting to freak out, like when I'm about to press send for the email, because I'm like, they're going to email back immediately and like give me a cat,

and then all of a sudden I'm locked into this fucking cat. And I was like, I can't do it. And then I had a thought and I was like, no, Hannah's literally my most incapable friend. And she's had a cat for eight years. Like I'm like, I've been to Hannah's apartment. I'm fine. Calling me incapable is so on the nose.

I'm the kind of friend that like, you're nervous for an event, you call me. You're feeling down on yourself, you call me. If you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport, you're nervous for an event, you call me. You're feeling down on yourself, you call me. If you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport, you're not calling me. No. You're not calling me. No.

In a pinch, you have to be somewhere in five minutes and like bring a document? No. I'll get the wrong thing, I don't know how to drive. But it's so true. That's a major thing. You don't know how to drive. That's huge. Honestly, if someone's like hide the thing. You don't know how to drive. That's huge.

Honestly, if someone's like hide the body, I don't think you ask me. I think I have too big of a mouth. I also don't know how to hide a fucking body. Honestly, the admin of hiding a body. No, I would never ask you. I'd be like, wait, where should we dig? Like, I feel like- I would, I'd voice note you.

I'm like, we have to cut it out. Like, whilst. Because I'd be like, you never understand. You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm a, we have to cut it out. Walsed. Because I'd be like, you never understand. You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm a voice rest. My favorites when the gigglers come up to me with two of them, and one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then there's some girl comes up like, hey.

And I'm like, me and you girl. She like walks out from the bathroom. Yeah, I'm just like, hey. And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slick back bun, I'm like, girl Paige. And they're wearing bows. Like, it's actually like so.

No, you can spot them in a second. In a second. Did you also see the Travis Barker drumming during Courtney's birthing? No. He has two of his little sticks that he drums with, and he's drumming to the baby's heartbeat. And it's like, I mean, he's going.

He's going for like a full, I mean, I think he goes for like a full 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes. Is there like beeps in the background? Like beep, beep? Nope, it's just, you can just hear him like drumming, and every comment was like divorce, divorce. My husband tried to talk to me when I was giving birth and I told him to get the fuck out. I would be like, I feel like you're making this pregnancy about you right now. I would.

That's like him picking up the guitar after having sex to a whole nother level. I would be like, hey, do me a favor, take those sticks, bend over and jam them right up your fucking ass. Are you kidding? The day I give birth? Scram. No, I was about to say. Literally scram.

It's like when I'm about to orgasm. Don't look at me, something weird's gonna happen. Why are you here? What are you gonna offer to the situation? I think actually the women that want their husbands in the room when they give birth, that's weird, I think you're weird. Thing is, part of me wants him there to make him feel want some there to like make him feel bad to be like you fucking did this

Yeah, and I'm gonna use this against you like the rest of our relationship Yeah, like so then like one day. I'll be like hey, can you hand me the remote and who blew you right there? I'm gonna be like I fucking tore my pussy hole into my butthole and you saw it right remember when they took my organs out They put it on that silver plate? I'm a big screenshot girly right now. What's the percentage that you're ever going back and looking at those screenshots? Zero. What mental illness am I suffering from that I continually keep screenshotting things that I know I will never, never see again, but I feel good.

What are you screenshotting? You know what, let's, I'll show you my screenshots. Okay. I screenshot a vintage store that I want wanna go to in France one day. Okay. I screenshot it. Romay and Michelle's high school reunion cause I've never watched it and I wanna watch it once.

I screenshotted this girl's outfit but a photographer was walking in front so I missed the outfit. Four ingredient banana bark that I'm never gonna make. You're never gonna make. A tweet that says, what if birds don't even need to spit food into each other's mouths? They just like it. No, my screenshots are a wild place. Everyone knows football is gay.

After the game, what do they do together? Shower. I've heard multiple men, football players are not saying it's team bonding. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've never team bonded with a friend naked. The closest me and you have been to being naked in the same room together is when I'm pooping

and you happen to be trying to do your makeup in the same room. Yeah, and it's against my will. I know for a fact I was in there first. I know for a fact. And then you had a chimichanga. So let's not even act like it was just us bonding. It was you having a serious problem. There's also an emergency. That's medical. That's just medical.

I'm your emergency contact. I was offered MDMA. Yeah. Do I feel cool about it? Yeah. Wait. Hannah calls me after she goes to this party and she would not stop saying MDMA. And after the fifth time, I was like, it's Molly. Stop saying MDMA, I'm gonna have a freak out. I go, since when is MDMA Molly, you woman in STEM? Since forever. I wasn't gonna say yes, but I pretended I was considering it.

Like, I'm like, you know, I normally would. Yeah. Because I wanted to be cool. But it's just Saturday night and I can't gonna say yes, but I pretended I was considering it. Like I'm like, you know, I normally would. Because I wanted to be cool. But it's just Saturday night and I can't. It literally was. Totally a time where you could do everything. If there was ever a time, it was in that moment. And then people were like, we're microdosing.

And I'm like, OK, like, regardless what dose, I would ruin the party. I would never work in this town again. I actually feel like you wouldn't microdose because you're an all or nothing girl. So you're like, if I'm gonna do it, let's become drug addicts. That's why weed fucks me up because everyone's like, just take a little hit

and then take a little hit, don't feel anything. Take the biggest hit I've ever taken in my life, can't breathe for an hour and then high as a kite. And then you find yourself on the bathroom floor and you're like, I think I'm having a panic attack. Exactly, just like staring at my fingernails for way too long. Once you give birth and you are in the state that you are in, like this baby's just come out of you, your stomach's still huge. I can imagine that in that moment, you know if you married the right

person or not. But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy. And then right when they had a baby, it was like, oh my God, mic drop. But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy. And then right when they had a baby, it was like, this is definitely not the right guy. It's literally post-baby clarity. Yeah, like you were at post-baby clarity. You're at like your most vulnerable form of like, my body just went through trauma.

Yep, I need someone to love me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look. And take care of me. No, well, that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling, I don't want to love me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look. And take care of me. Yeah. No, well that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling so we want to have a baby to bond us closer, it apparently makes it worse. But if your relationship's strong, it makes it stronger. But babies will expose the fuck out of it.

So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like- When you picture a boy mom picking her son up from practice, that's the outfit I'm wearing. And her son's name is Tanner, Tucker, something crazy. Xylophones. You have flannel on and you have your knee-high boots and you have your Starbucks order that was so complicated and unnecessary. And the weather isn't conducive for a beanie,

but she's wearing a beanie. It's part of your look, cause it is fall. It's part of her allure. Yes. And she just gives that her oldest, Trenton, she loves him the most. And everyone knows she loves him the most. And she writes him notes in his lunchbox that nobody's going to ever love you the way mommy loves you.

His little girlfriend, she refers to her as little girlfriend, you know? And she also wants to fuck him little girlfriend you know and she also like wants to fuck him. Speaking of bad habits I hung out with a straight man accidentally. Where? Work stuff. Okay. They do this thing where like when they try to connect with you they keep showing you YouTube videos and it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon,

and you go, ugh, and then you go, oh wait, that's their love language. That's them showing affection. He showed me one video, and you know you get the point after it comes, and it like, I just. I'm like, oh my God, that's so funny. I sat there for like two minutes watching it,

and like, oh, you watched the full, you're like, you're gonna think this is so funny. Yeah, and then I was like, okay, that was a one-off. He really is passionate about this video. And like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is, this is a thing. This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do?

Yeah, I call it YouTube waterboarding. Wait. YouTube waterboarding. Like men. That was the question. What are men? what are men? What are men? Do you guys waterboard each other?

Yeah. Do you ever say, bro, I don't want to watch this. Yeah, that's why I started calling it waterboarding because people don't know what to talk. All men do is hang out and go, bro, watch this. That'll be, that'll be for women. There's something also about when I'm watching, someone's watching me watch a video,

I can't enjoy the video. Me neither. Mila Cabello, go to her Instagram. Tell me, this is not an exact replica of if you and I had a baby. Wait, it is. Why did we birth Camila Cabello? And obviously she'd be a phenomenal singer,

she gets that from you. Not from me. She loves a mini skirt, she gets that from me. She loves wearing it with a tie, she gets that from you. Also petite, but big butt. She's tiny but she's quirky. Pulls off a bang but is also outgoing. Yeah.

Is also outgoing. Yeah. Kind of strangers. But also looks like she's an introvert extrovert. Yeah. Wait, that's so funny. I just feel like she's our love child. I see that.

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While curled up on the couch with your cat, there's more to imagine when you listen. Discover heart-pounding thrillers on Audible. I got a lot of backlash on my Instagram last night because I said I want you to shave your head like Emma Stone. Girls were not happy. They said, first of all, I think you're sad because she peed a sore bone.

I go, she does that to herself. Second of all, I'm a creative. I come up with ideas. I throw ideas at Paige. I think there's an Audrey Hepburn biopic that's circulating Hollywood. That's what I heard. And I think all the actresses are trying to get that role.

And so they're dressing like her, they're cutting their hair like her, and they're like- Do you know who I think is gonna get it? I'll say who I think should get it. You say who you think should get it. One, two, three, and half the way. Ariana Grande. I don't like that.

I didn't cast her. I've been trying to watch Wicked for- We're going on seven days now. I don't like that. I don't. I didn't cast her. I've been trying to watch Wicked for... We're going on seven days now. I've taken seven phenomenal naps. Right when it starts. Someone was like, Wicked would be so good without the singing.

Wicked would be so fucking fire without the singing. Do you see how you are, Glinda? Yes. Ariana, from what I saw, 15 minutes intermittently, she crushed it. She's a mate, she's phenomenal. She's the best singer of our entire generation. I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn.

Why? She's Italian. I just think Anne Hathaway has always looked the most like her or Lily Collins. Or you. Maybe I just called the joke. I'm like, I've never acted. Put me in, coach. I've seen you on Summer House.

You're pretty good at it. Yeah. I actually almost choked one of my male friends to death this last week. The tea was piping hot. Yeah. He was like, they were talking about you, and I was standing there.

And I was like, oh my. Please tell me you got a microphone. You like turned down the air conditioning. If that the air condition girl she would have texted you in moment being like wait till I fucking tell you what's happening to me and we were to our car ride and I was like get the popcorn I'm ready to fucking go and he was like yeah they brought you up and I was like yep what did they say? what did they say? stop at the beginning stop at the beginning beginning. And he was like, yeah, they were like, it's, yeah. And I was like, no, no, no, from the beginning,

from the beginning, I want every detail of how he was looking. Women should never be condemned for gossiping. We literally gossip because we're smarter, because we can remember more things. Guys just can't gossip because they can't remember shit. I don't talk shit. I tell a story.

I entertain people. No, when I like FaceTime you with something to say, I don't just tell you what happened. I'm giving you a play. I must play right. I'm setting the scene. I gossip so hard with my mom, so hard, that we'll circle back and she'll be like, and now what was everyone wearing during that? And I'm like, girl.

Something I'm annoyed at. Belly flats. What in particular are you annoyed by? Something about me wearing a belly flat just seems like a rhinoceros trying to like ice skate. Like there's something aesthetically wrong with it. I meant to wear big... okay you're laughing too hard. I meant to wear like big dad sneakers because it evens out. Also flats in New York, you step in one puddle you're done. And then if it's... And then the ballet flats, they're not for you. That was so mean. You're like, then maybe you just don't fuck around.

Then maybe it's not for you. You're like, sorry, it's not for everyone. Yeah, I love them. Are you just like prancing like a little cunt? I hope you step in a fucking puddle. And I hope you get chlamydia from that puddle. I literally have an audition in Juilliard after. We don't have sisters, but what I've heard about sisters is you would like punch them

in the face and tell them you want them to literally like rot in hell and then the next morning be like, do you want to get breakfast? There are definitely two types of people. People that have brothers and then people that have sisters. I feel like if you grow up with a brother, you're a little bit tougher exterior-wise. Yeah. Like it's harder to rattle you. Also brothers are so like, they're not into the gossip and the drama

where it's like you'll fight over like a Nintendo. Right, it's more like they're saying like mean things and then like moving on and then like punching you. Yes. Okay. Where I feel like if you grow up with sisters, you're at a little bit more of an advantage. Emotionally.

Manipulative wise. At a young age. Yeah. Oh my God! I have a new dating theory. Shit, I can't credit the right person, but it was not for me, it was someone on TikTok that men date from zero.

So when men meet you and start dating you, you're a zero. And you have to build up to like earn them wanting to date you. Where girls date from 100. We meet you and we go, you are perfect. And then you, we realize all the things that get you down. And I've never heard anything more fucking accurate. We go in reverse order.

We go in reverse. Because if I'm meeting you, I've already thought in my head what your personality is like, what your family's like, what you dress like, what our life is gonna be like together, and then I meet you and you're none of those things because obviously that's insane. I made them up in my head.

Where men, I guess, don't make stuff up in their head and immediately they're just like. How do they get through the day? That's very accurate. That's so boring. I would always go into dates with men being 100. I'd be like, he's perfect, and then immediately, and then sometimes he'll even do not perfect things and And you'll be like, oh, I'll just

duck two points. Oh, just stuck one. It's like he's in jail. That's grotesque. And that's literally our campaign strategy for the 2024 election. You know, like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day and everything's funny, and you're just like, oh, like, I never want to leave this place. Like, this is the best day of my life. Like, we're all in our jammies eating food and like everything's hilarious. No one cares about you. That is Giggly Squad.

It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick, you're just silly. But you're a little sick in the head. But we're thinking it's cute. And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh. You two are so silly. But you're a little sick in the head. But we're thinking it's cute. And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh. You two are so silly. We are the giggly squab.

We make money from giggling. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

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Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Okay, so if you're not caught up on Hanan Page Try New Things on YouTube, catch up because the finale, the huge Radio City finale is coming a week from today, Monday, July 14th at 6 p.m. Eastern. Be there on time. Watch it live with us. In the meantime, we thought we'd share some stupid stuff that got left on the cutting room floor for the gigglers that want the deep cuts.

Cut that part for sure. We're not cutting it. Hobson, if you cut it. Cut that. This episode needs to be deleted. This episode needs to be deleted. Cut the cameras. In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try deleted scenes.

She could call it bloopers. Yeah, let's call it bloopers. That's fun. In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try bloopers. I was a gay man in a past life. It's different than a lesbian. All presses go press. Right.

All presses go press. It was. Ow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Are you crying? You should try and visualize.

Are we going to see water aliens today? Bubble house. We're not a rock band. Sorry. You don't really like soda. No, I think the bubbles are violent. I like the burn. Because we are living in a material.

OK. There she is. There we are living in a material. Okay, there she is. There she is. There she is. This is us. Do we like crocodiles or alligators more? Like I don't want to pit women against each other, but. I like a crocodile. Okay, well then I like alligators.

Should we become trad wives? I need a husband first. Your kids are gonna be monsters. You think? No, I feel like my kid's gonna come out of my womb, look at me and be like, ew. Well, let's be honest, your kid is Daphne, and when you leave, she shits on your pillow.

Yeah. We're having a mountain conversation. She's kind of the problem. No, and the coach is saying really mean stuff to me, and I'm like, I told you I didn't wanna wear these tight pants. I feel like the guy on the left is judging her outfit, and he doesn't understand the outfit.

It's a uniform, don't you get it? Also, I've been training my whole life for this moment and they're pretending this is a joke to them. It's not a joke. This honestly smells so bad. This is not right. I'm so sweaty. I'm winded. I'm hungry.

I'm very hungry. I don't shower. Wow, chat GPT has changed you. And I don't think it's for the better. Do you know what's chat? G-P-T? Chat B-T. For bitches? Cheat. G-P-T. G-B-T. And I don't think it's for the better. Do you know it's chat? GPT chat BT for bitches cheap GPT

GBT G T P not I hear anything GPT. Yeah chat GPT for preschoolers. No, it's it's it's not chat GBT Oh, okay GPT. Yeah. Oh, grandpa physical therapy. Yep. People ask how we prepare for a show and we try and stretch

and we try and just get our blood flowing. Didn't get my full morning poo. I kinda need to poop, but I can't. What if I just start boasting my fly? Are you not embarrassing you? You're screaming. I love how cat eye is so intense. I feel like I'm getting a boob job.

If the left one's a little big. Oh my God, the Salem West trials during TikTok would have been crazy. 50 part series exposing this man. I think I was an Amazonian woman and I think you were a flower in the Amazon. And I was like, I love that flower. We were thinking of Grace too.

We were like, Grace was either our mom or Grace was our daughter and we were in a lesbian relationship in the nineteen- in the 1800s. Wait, Summer House, we never got to do interviews together because of the patriarchy. That's so true. We would have crushed. This is the thing, I always felt really connected with the gays and now I know why. Dandy is a man who's very concerned with his appearance, grooming, and lifestyle. You may also enjoy refined language and leisurely hobbies. You know. So I was basically a real housewife of England, but if I was a man. Oh! Just a fancy boy!

That's me! I wore one of those little tie things! Just a fancy man! And I probably saw you on the street with all your dying children. You're probably like, ew. Gay men love you. Yes. Like when gay men say yes, they go, I'm a page.

Yeah, I'm very connected to the gay men inside. And like you do put my bags in the overhead luggage. I'm literally your boyfriend. But I do, I love fashion, but I am tired. I think I had to put together a lot of outfits back in the day. And you also like things that are like pizazz. I like chic Minimalist like fashion-y outfits you like things that are like, oh, what if we like added a red feather? So next time you're mean about my outfit you're being homophobic. So moral of the story Hannah's gay and I am depressed.

We're both depressed and have mental problems. Tell us something we don't know, psychic. When you're over 30, take eye pill, swipe up. It's so good. I just looked at her and I said, Daphne, stop. Stop. You know how your mom feels now. You were raised Catholic, right?

What did Jesus say? Catholics don't believe in evil. No, they believe in evil. But they believe that Jesus rose from the dead. Yeah, he was like going through something. Well, he's an influencer. So we just have to be like. I've already told God.

You told God? Yeah. I love how God is dealing with three wars right now, but he's like, wait, Pages, so our girl's going to Salem. God got me baited, Walker. So like, he's in tune with what's going on with me. Two types of girls.

They forgot my sausage lace. Do you have a spoon in there? There were three girls in the front row that like were like my finger my hands tingle too when I have a panic attack and they like go numb and I felt very seen. No we were like who had a panic attack and they like go numb and I felt very seen. No, we were like, who had a panic attack today? And I swear the entire crowd was like, me! If you're not having panic attacks at the club, like you're not on tour with Club Gigli. Also, I didn't know we could get closer.

Like I feel we're closer. We knew. Yeah. I mean, I was like, at one point I was, I was tapped, I was going like this. Did you like when I was rubbing her back? I couldn't even tell. I feel like I've watched a couple softball games.

Okay, you're making that up just to say you're bad. No, it's sometimes on ESPN. You don't even have ESPN at your house. We couldn't find ESPN that one day at your house. Stop. I think one of the guys should walk up to Cardi B WAP. There's some holes in this house. There's some holes in this house.

That would be a good one. Seven days away. Not to some holes in this house. That would be a good one. So five pre, seven days away. Not to speak about my husband again. But we almost got a divorce because I didn't have TSA pre. I was on his side for that. No, you were. And you were right, you guys were actually right.

I won't even travel with someone who's on TSA pre. I feel better than them. Flying is an art form that Paige and I have not mastered yet. Paige is a little annoyed with me because I liked her luggage. So I bought the same luggage, which has made our lives more complicated. If you went home and it was just all my like, smelly clothes.

Like I got your luggage and you got mine. You wouldn't know that you had my luggage for two months because you don't unpack. That was so messed up. Don't listen to a word she says. You know what we should have done for Halloween? We should dress as each other. And I dress as the, in the new new outfit.

And you dress... like Adam Seale. Okay, so this is how I do my wigs. This is how you do your wigs? This is the first time you've ever done a wig. I've never done a wig before. It's literally chaos. So first you just kind of... You go like this with your hair.

Then you go like this. Put your hair in a low bun. Oh! In a low bun. Oh, that makes it so much easier. Well now I look like Thomas Jefferson. You look like a penis! I do look like a penis. It do look like a penis.

If we walked on stage in jeans and a baggy t-shirt and sneakers, people would be like... How dare they? You didn't get ready. But like any male comedian could go out disheveled. We're starting four hours before the show. Male comedians are still jerking off in the bathroom. Wait, I'm literally Mormon. Now I need my eyelashes. Which I don't have eyelash glue,

but I don't think I'm gonna need it. What? Because I just want the main ingredient. I just want them to stay. And fake eyelashes is the glue. I think I could really nail it. Ow. Do you look more like that woman in the documentary

about the apes? Tonica? Yeah. Wait, you do. Is it going to make me do the worm? No, don't let him. You need to protect me. No, I mean you need to protect me.

Thank God we weren't in high school together because I would have found you to do so many things. Your peer pressure meter is zero. They'll be like, what are you finding out? And I'm like, yes. so many things. Your peer pressure meter is zero. I'll be like, what if you saw me and I'm like, yes. You're like, no, I really can't find. And then you're like, I'm doing it. No, I was so bad.

People would be like, take Ayahuasca. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I have to take Ayahuasca. So I have this pimple right here. And at first I was upset. And then I realized I look like Cindy Crawford when I go like this.

That's setting spray. I don't know if it does anything. I think it's BS. You probably need like a really good primer after a start. I think your fingers are too skinny and nothing's happening right now. No, I have great hair.

They flap so much. You didn't put that on your face. Hold your breath. Okay, that was a lot. That's how much you have to do I'm suing this company. I'm suing our company Put on the company card She just blinded me

Okay, why does every costume you put on look like the HBO lady? Why does every costume tank up? Wait, I can watch the YouTube channel of you just doing all of your costumes. Isn't this cute? The tuck. Let me see. She hates it. I don't hate it. I actually, I don't hate it. I actually, I don't hate it.

That's the thing. That's the worst when you actually feel nothing about it. I did paint my outfit. I saw you looking at me down. She went... I didn't do that look. Second of all, I didn't say I hated it. Did I say that?

Do you like it? No. Look, it's very you. I like it. Did I say that? Do you like it? No. Look, it's very you. I like it. I like that you like those kind of dresses. I personally don't like those kind of dresses on me. Do you like it on me? No.

I also can't say that either. Should I wear this? No, it's too slutty. I've realized through Paige, actually, she's inspired me that the more put together I look, the better things come of it. It's just that sense of I look good, I feel good. Yes, you play good. Yep. Yes.

Oh, I would have loved to have to pick out tennis outfits. We would have lost every match, but we would have won the best looking girls. So I realized that this shirt, I'm going to sweat through. So who needs Botox? Can't tell. Unless it falls out. It is a little itchy too. I need period pads. Do they have period pads in here?

Or are they sexist? Not even a tampon. Do you see what we have to deal with as women in the arts? You sailed beyond the horizon in search of an island scrubbed from every map. You battled Krakens and navigated through storms. Your spades struck the lid of a long lost treasure chest. While you cooked a lasagna. There's more to imagine when you listen. Discover best-selling adventure stories on Audible. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue?

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