Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 101. Steven Weber

Episode Date: May 2, 2016

Versatile actor Steven Weber sits down with Gilbert and Frank for a spirited discussion of "sick" comedy, the best of "The Twilight Zone," the disappointment of "Sour Grapes," the death of the Borscht Belt and the genius of Harvey Korman. Also, Telly Savalas takes a load off, Charles Nelson Reilly does a spit take, Gig Young travels through time and Soupy Sales guests on "Wings." PLUS: Jackie Vernon! Richard Stahl! "X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes"! Dom DeLuise "improvises"! And the "Eartha Kitt of white guys"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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betting. Download today. 19+. Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. hi i'm gilbert godfrey this is gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg Post with our engineer Frank Furtarosa. Yes, this week is a popular and busy actor and writer with film credits, including The Flamingo Kids, Single White Female, Jeffrey, Dracula, Dead and Loving It, Stephen King's The Shining, Leaving Las Vegas. And of course, the cult favorite Sour Grapes with former podcast guest Craig Biarico. with former podcast guest Craig Biarico. He's also appeared in dozens of hit TV shows like Will & Grace, Tales from the Crypt,

Monk, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Brothers and Sisters, The Mindy Project, Parenthood, Two Broke Girls, and most notably as pilot Brian Hackett on the long-running series Wings. In his long-running career, he's worked with everyone from Mel Brooks to Leslie Nielsen to Mike Nichols to, most importantly, Gilbert Gottfried. Please welcome a funny and versatile performer and a man who claims that Charles Nelson Reilly

once spit all over him while talking. Our pal, Stephen Webber. Hello, everyone. Thank you, Stephen. Hello, everybody. Yeah, Charles Nelson Rowley spat. He spat over everybody. Why was he spitting?

Bits of desiccated sandwich and food, anything he was drinking. I did a cartoon with him called All Dogs Go to Heaven. He was in it. Was Don DeLuise? Don DeLuise. He was in the original film. This was a TV version of it.

Charlie Sheen, I think, did the sequel to it. And then they did a TV version of it. Anyway, and so I did it. And yeah, Dom DeLuise and I shared a sound studio for a couple of years. And he was great. He was also another very kind of liquid spewing kind of a dude. But Charles Nelson Reilly.

Mrs. Muir. Was like a lawn sprinkler of a guy. Very sweet. But you had to cover your drink if you were standing next to him. And I was at a party once with him, you know, just once. Did he ever make a pass at you? He didn't. He didn't.

I wasn't his type, I guess. I wasn't swarthy enough. Well, Butch Patrick told us he chased him around the set of Lidsville. He did? Yes. Butch Patrick. Butch Patrick. Butch Patrick was his type.

Yes, I know who he was. You know, saying to our audience members, Butch Patrick, Eddie Munster was being chased by Charles Nelson Reilly for sexual gratification. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. What was Delouise like? was being chased by Charles Nelson Reilly for sexual gratification. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. What was DeLuise like? He certainly was, he had lots of lubricant to offer. God. That's what he was known for.

I'm the lubricator. Dom DeLuise was a sweet, fantastic guy who was obviously very accessible as a performer, very open, and of course he had a foul mouth. You know, when you meet all your heroes and you find out that they're usually, well, they're very human. And he was very human. I mean, he was kind of a mess physically. But he was very sweet and, you know,

and endlessly hilarious. I mean, the outtakes for that cartoon are hours and hours and hours of him saying hey, you mother's ass. Which was fantastic. He would read and fuck up and it was great to be, you know, sitting in a room with him. And I heard he was

constantly improvising stuff. He was never on the page. Yeah. And so they kind of they more or less wrote around him or edited around him and they let him do all his thing. And not everything was improvised for comedy purposes. He just rewrote it himself. He had that license, I guess. Funny guy.

But think of him in the end with Burt Reynolds. Oh, that's right. And also, of course, Blazing Saddles. I had heard a story that Mel Brooks one time hired Dom DeLuise for a movie. And he said to them, well, give him a week to film this. And they said this scene will only take about an hour or so. And he goes, well, Dom. That's right. Well, he was also in the movie The Twelve Chairs, which is to me one of the unsung Brooks movies.

Frank Langella. Frank Langella, Ron Moody. And it is hilarious. Yeah, it's funny. You know, I got to say, look, Mel Brooks is great. There's nobody like him. And I'm so privileged to have known him. And I actually brought my kids to meet him, I want to say about seven months ago.

Brought them into Uncle Mel's office, right? And they were enthralled because they're getting their Jewish education through Mel Brooks, essentially. You know, just through listening to his records and seeing his movies and all that stuff. And not all of his movies have been so good. But his early ones, to me, are fantastic. They are great. You were in two. I did one.

I did Dracula, Dead and Loving It. And then I did The Producers on Broadway. So I worked with him through that. And that's where we really got kind of close. And him and Anne Bancroft became pretty good friends. And again, just the idea that you're working with and knowing people that you grew up idolizing is interesting. And you see that he's a three-dimensional being and he's an interesting cat to have to wear the kind of the burden of being the funniest man on earth for 70 years. It must be taxing.

Well, you know what it is like you know yeah i'm still the funniest man in the in the northeast yes i'm the funniest guy uh in the elevator coming up here um what did you think of dracula dead and loving it. The truth is that at the time, I know I was hopeful that it would be a companion piece to Young Frankenstein. But what I found out was that wasn't the case because a lot of the writing is well-meaning and as occasionally amusing it was, it didn't have the same kind of, you know, comic complexity or oomph or whatever you want to call it that Young Frankenstein had. What it didn't have essentially was Gene Wilder. Who wrote the original screenplay.

That's right. That's right. For Young Frankenstein. But, you know, we had good writers arguably, but it became more of like a mad magazine version of the story and ultimately you know it was not well received it works much better on the small screen than it did in theaters to film that kids like I mean my kids love that movie and and there's some funny scenes in it performances performances

I got to work with Harvey Korman. And actually, I had something amazing happening. And this is, I'm patting myself on the back for this. AFI did a tribute to Mel last year, 18 months ago,

something like that, maybe two years ago. And I brought my kids and it was in Hollywood. And I mean, everybody was at this function. And everybody gave testimonies. And I mean Gene Wilder was on film because he's fairly old and he can't travel that much.

But everybody was there. Cloris Leach, man. It was crazy. And there was a filmed tribute where he was talking and asked, after an evening of showing all these amazing scenes from Blazing Saddles and, of course, Young Frankenstein, everything, what the funniest scene in all his movies was. And he said, it's a scene with Stephen Webber stakes the vampire and blood comes out and I'm sitting there with my kids and I thought I was dreaming.

And they showed a sequence. And I even looked around for a second and saw all these hallowed performers saying, who, what, huh? I mean they couldn't – it wasn't the farting scene around the fire. It wasn't – you name it. The scene with my blue blanket with the –. No, it was this reasonably obscure scene. And I was never so thrilled in my life. I mean, I put it down to him basically slowly slipping into senility. But I'll take it.

Have you asked him about it since? No, no, I'm not even going to push it. Because he'll say, no, I think I lost my mind. I was drunk or something. He'll say something like that. But it was a great moment. And what was it like working with Harvey Korman? Harvey Korman was a hilarious, great, funny, and deceptively intense performer.

And by intense, I mean he had great presence as the character. Who's he playing? I forgot. He's playing Amy Asbeck's father, I suppose. And I forget his name. Dr. Seward. Dr. Seward. And he actually took his role very seriously for a guy who's mostly known as a sketch comedy guy who's always breaking up.

He was very grounded as an actor, which kind of surprised me. One of the failings of Dracula Dead and Loving, it was that most of his funny stuff was cut out. Most of the stuff that you would have associated with a guy like him was edited. And I don't know why. A lot of the funny was left out of that particular film and ultimately Leslie Nielsen who was a great

performer, he's hilarious in his films I don't think was the perfect match for it he was excellent and funny but sort of the star du jour of those kind of films at that point.

In a way. And I'm not sure he had whatever rhythms would have been better suited for this particular movie. I love Mel Brooks and I love Gene Wilder, but I always thought

that they were better together. Absolutely. When Wilder made... You know, Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Smarter Brother has its moments. That's right.

The World's Greatest Lover, the Valentino one. And they all have their moments, but there was something magical. There was a Leonard McCartney dynamic to the two of them. Yeah. Yeah. And he wound up in Blazing Saddles replacing Gig Young. I mean, that was an accident. Replacing Gig Young.

That's right. That was an accident. Wasn't Gig Young throwing things up? Yeah. I think he was having DTs. Yeah. But the two of them just had a dynamic and it wasn't the same when they were on their own. So much depends on the circumstances.

It was lightning in a bottle. I think so. And at one time it was like Leslie Nielsen was like, well, you're doing a parody, so Leslie Nielsen. Right. Well, he was the bankable, I guess. Yeah. That's what I mean. He was the guy they would call upon as soon as you said spoof.

Yeah. Right or wrong. Right. Because he did a fugitive spoof. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was horrible. There were so many of them.

But I'd heard that they originally were looking at or considering Kelsey Grammer for Dracula, which would have been interesting. Interesting. Getting back to Corman, I mean, did you ever see him in Lord Love a Duck? I mean, he did. He gave interesting performances. I played, we became friendly after that movie and played poker several times

at this really old, hilarious poker game, which is still going on in California. And it's run by a guy named Norby Walters. Oh, which is still going on in California. And it's run by a guy named Norby Walters. Oh, that's the one Robert Wohl shows. Yeah, that's right. He told us about it. Yeah, there's a lot of...

And I was originally, when I was younger, I was approached by him to play in this game. He was always looking for new blood because all the people in this game, they're all on Pritikin. You know, they all munch lettuce. And you say, I'm going to be playing with, you know charlie derning and harvey corman everybody's so

fucking old you know sad but harvey was hilarious and absolutely in his element with other other decrepit jews and sitting around a table who no longer smoked or drank. It was a little sad. But he was a great guy. And again, he told me that he had done a critically acclaimed Hamlet of all things. Yeah, we're just going to ask you about that. In L.A. as a young man. Yeah, imagine that. Yeah. Look, it's possible he was a tall guy.

Right. And he was tall. So Hamlet, as we know, was tall. Well, you look at a performance like Hedley Lamar in Blazing Saddles, and it's a comedic performance, but if you look at it, it's a dramatic performance. I mean, he's so believable. He didn't break. Yeah. Except when he broke the fourth wall.

No, he was hilarious. You know, he knew exactly what to do. That's it. That's all I'll say on that. He's come up on this show a couple of times in an unfortunately unflattering role. Why? Which was when he had the misfortune

of playing Bud Abbott. Oh, yeah. Oh, with Buddy Hackett. Buddy Hackett, yeah. Oh, with Buddy Hackett. Buddy Hackett, yeah. Not a good one. What do you want me to say about that? And in Dracula, Dead and Loving It, you worked again with your co-star. Amy Yazbeck.

Yeah, Amy Yazbeck. Who is another, to me, she's not used enough. She's singularly hilarious. She would be great at punching up a show. She's one of the funniest people I've ever met. She'd be great on this show. We'll have her on. Yeah.

She worked with Gilbert. Yeah. Well, I did two Problem Child movies with her. Oh, okay. And also with both of you. You and Amy on Wings. That's right. I did about three episodes.

Yeah. And she's a good friend and remained a good friend. You know, the funny thing was that right after John Ritter died, we went in to record the, I guess, the extra tracks that they have for Dracula Dead and Loving It. You know, I forget what you call it. But, you know, not the guide track, but you, where we comment on it, the commentary. And we were, and she was still in a, you know, a terrible state. And we went in and had a hilarious two hours of just kind of riffing and watching and remembering the amazing times we had.

and watching and remembering the amazing times we had. First and foremost, as far as I'm concerned, it was the best time I ever had making a film because we literally sat at Mel's feet while he and Harvey did shtick. And they did old kind of Yiddish Alka-Seltzer commercials that apparently ran, I don't know on what station and it was phenomenal to see these guys and you understood why

they were as successful as they became because they really had the chops. And then Anne Bancroft would hang out and then what's his name, Don DeLuise would come by what's his name, Charlie Callis you know one of my Charlie Callis. You know, one of my heroes. Oh, God, Charlie Callis.

Charlie Callis would come by. And I was in heaven, man. Of course. It was really heavenly. Especially a kid in Queens who grew up listening to the 2,000-Year-Old Man albums. Listening to that and seeing 10 from your show of shows on my little VHS, my tape, where they had episodes from the old Sid Caesar. It was fairly amazing. I taught Anne Bancroft to make a cricket sound, which goes on.

That's crappy, but because I don't have enough. I don't have the Charles Nelson Reilly amount of saliva. If he was here to talk to me, it would crack in my mouth and I'd be able to regurgitate it. But, I mean, it was a great time. It was a great time for me. But, again, we were acutely aware that this wasn't going to be so great. He wasn't going to be the original producers of Blazing Saddles. But it was, I mean, just, again, just to be in the presence of these guys was really good and also to see Mel, another side of Mel, which was the guy who has an ego, who can scream if something doesn't get done.

He wasn't the jocular kind of Yiddish genius. He was that. But also he could be a perfectionist. And he could order somebody around, and it was again, edifying. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after

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are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. And now back to the show. Did you... You got along with him as a director, though. Yeah. I mean, I did anything he told me to fucking do, you know. If you told me to drink Charles Nelson Reilly's saliva, I'd have done it. By the gallon.

I don't care how streamy it would have been. I want to tell you that I saw Charles Nelson Reilly's one-man show in L.A. Really? And it was fantastic. He was hilarious, too. And it was about four hours. It went on. I'm talking about directing opera.

Yeah, Julie. Hope Lang. What was it? Julie Harris. Julie Harris and I. Yeah. It was great. It went on endlessly, but it was rewarding. Yeah. It was great. It went on endlessly, but it was rewarding.

Yeah. And now one thing, according to the introduction, at least, they say it's a cult favorite. Sour Grapes. You're going there already, huh? Sour Grapes. Yeah. Well, Sour Grapes was another disappointment. Created by Larry, written by Larry David.

And directed by him. And directed by Larry David And directed by him It was actually one of the hotter scripts Going around town So I'm giving to understand A lot of people were interested Names Steve Martin came up Other guys that were vying for this

Because it was a Fairly traditional buddy comedy That was not unlike I want to say Where's Papa Papa or that type of genre of movie from the 60s and 70s. The fortune cookie a little bit. The fortune cookie, exactly. And fortunately, he chose, Larry went for two, I mean, relative unknowns, although we

had worked, Craig, Bierko and myself, and we were thrilled. And it was hilarious. we thought, a funny script, and we had a great time doing it. It was very funny, and again, something happened, not in the execution of it, but afterwards it seemed that the studio had somehow abandoned the film. I think at the time, not Lionsgate. I forget what the studio was. But they went with another film, and the film happened to be My Giant, Billy Crystal. We all remember that movie.

Oh, yeah. It's a classic. My Giant. And I feel like they sunk all their PR into that. I think it also was coming out at the same time that maybe the Seinfeld finale or something was happening. So suddenly Larry's attention was off the film and we were a little left on our own. It did not get critical reception. That was very good. Of course, it was invariably compared to Seinfeld, which

is not a shock since he wrote it. It was a very Seinfeldian kind of a world. But it didn't diminish it at all. And it has found cult status on college campuses and, you know, who knows, assisted living facilities.

There's a lot of funny stuff in it. It's funny, man. It's hilarious. You're both funny. And we love Craig. We're biased because we love Craig. But you're both funny. You're both funny.

And it's a scene with Craig and Philip Baker Hall when he goes in to quit. That's right. It's fantastic. And it's real. It's vintage Larry David. But in very few Seinfeld episodes is Jerry seen sucking himself off. And in Sour Grapes, you have the protagonist able to autofillate. And I guess this was what Larry had been just desperate to do because it was a Seinfeld type, but I've just got to get,

I've just got to get a guy sucking himself himself off he wanted to break out of the tv this is what he'd been dying to do this is why he got into show business and jack burns turns up i mean which used to convulse me uh yeah jack burns was in that oh god what was he like i was a nightmare uh no, he was great. Yeah. He was great. We had Kelly Carlin on the show, and, you know, Burns and Carlin back in the day. Oh, that's right. They were a duo.

And we said to Kelly. Before Avery Schreiber. Yes, before Burns and Schreiber. And we said to Kelly, we'd love to have Jack Burns on the show. And she says he doesn't do anything. He doesn't come out of the house. He doesn't come out of the house. Unfortunately.

Here's the problem. You know, we grew up watching these guys and listening to them and they never changed. And then you realize it's 40 years later and people fucking age. That's the challenge of booking this show. Oh, everybody's dead that you like. Oh, yeah. That's what I tell my kids. There's a lot of that.

My kids who we talked about liking black and white films and they love the Marx Brothers. I know a lot. Every time we watch something, they're now they now know the pattern they say wow this is funny he's really funny is he dead yeah i say yeah he's dead okay all right fine on on this show we'll book somebody and and we'll i don't know how many times it's happened where their manager or son calls up and goes, oh, they died last night. It just happened. Well, not that they died, but it just happened that some, we won't mention any names, but

that somebody had to cancel because they weren't in top condition. And Jack Carter actually did die. Really? Jack Carter booked. Yeah. Oh, God. He would have been a great one. He would have been a great one.

I mean, look, I met a lot of these guys over the years uh because my um my my father was uh an agent for comics and singers and my grandfather was an agent for comics and singers and the cat skills the famous willie weber famous infamous i think but yeah famous he's in a couple of books yeah he managed gleason and rickles yeah and then for some reason let both of those guys go early on who knows why or maybe they left them. It's been kind of a mystery. And did you ever have any dealings or meetings with Jackie Gleason or Don Rickles? No.

I never did. I mean they were both way before my time. But I finally got to see Rickles several years ago. I'm friends with the great John Stamos, who's got fingers in many pies. I just saw John a couple of weeks ago. I mean, he fucking knows everybody, right? We should have him on, too. He's a good storyteller.

Forget it. And he loves all the old entertainers, too. And he's kind of Rickles' best pal, for fuck's sake. And when I told him my history, he said, well, Don's going to be doing a show in Anaheim. Did you ever see him? I said, no. And so he took me. I think Jack Klugman was there.

I mean, it was ridiculous. It was great. It was ridiculous. And Gene Bayliss was there. Gene Bayliss. No, he wasn't there. Didn't your father manage Gene Bayliss? My father managed Gene Bayliss. Gene Bayliss. And for those he wasn't there, Gene Bayless. Didn't your father manage Gene Bayless? My father managed Gene Bayless, Gene Bayless.

And for those who don't know, Gene Bayless was a hilarious, hilarious comic. But not a big star, but one of these legends among other comics, right? Anyway, so I go to see Don Rickles, and he filled this arena in Anaheim. And I was enthralled. I forget, in Anaheim. And I was enthralled. And in fact, at one point, I guess Stamos told him I was there. He stopped and he said, there's a guy in the audience.

I can't do it, Don. I go, whose grandfather managed me, the great Willie Riber. And he did a mini tribute, which was thrilling. Wow. And I got to tell you, you know, half the audience was kind of, you know, Latino and African-American and Asian. And you think, whoa, to whoa, to whoever is one of those groups, because he was fucking on fire. This guy doing like World War Two humor, doing like crazy. And I was I was I was terrified. You know'm a chama you know i'm i'm i'm in this culture so i'm pc minded well they loved him so much he got he got these guys he got these

japanese guys up on stage and they they did iwo jima and they were in heaven you know what i mean i mean they were fucking thrilled to death to be roasted by Rickles. And Rickles was amazing until at some point in his act, first of all, he's very old. He does a tribute. He does kind of a tribute to the flag and our fallen and, you know, the warriors. And it became kind of surreal. A little mawkish. Mawkish is a good word.

Yeah, it was strange. It kind of veered from the... But that's old school showbiz. Old school. When you would sing, you know, I'm a nice guy in spite of what you hear. They would have to throw in a song. You know, I'm sure you do Battle Hymn of the Republic. Yeah.

He does a little Jessel. A little Jessel. Nobody knows about Jesse Jessel. That's what he'll stand by. Hello, Mama. Good Mama. Hello, Mama. You're the tribute to Mr. Sid Caesar. George Jessel.

We've got Dooling Jessels here. Dooling Jessels. And we met, of course, on Wings. Yeah, Wings, that's right, where you played Bill... Yeah, William Hickey's nephew, Lewis. Lewis. Yeah. Yeah, that was funny.

Well, you know, we can talk about Wings if you like, but Wings is, you know, people still come up to me. It's all I'm kind of known for, more or less. But it was a good show, solid, a utility show. It was never a sexy show. We were always on when Friends was on or Cheers or, or I want to say Seinfeld. So we never got any kind of big, big notoriety. But we were able to get fantastic talent, Gilbert being a... Well, no, he wasn't.

Bill Hickey, Bill Hickey. Well, tell us a little bit about Bill Hickey, since you brought him up. Bill Hickey was kind of a legendary acting teacher more than anything else. Most people would know him from Pritzy's Honor. Pritzy's Honor, that's right.

But he was also... You talk like that. Do you want a cookie? Yeah. But he was also in the original movie of The Producers where he played the drunk

that they encounter at the end in the bar. And there's actually a scene that I remember seeing as a kid, and I saw it recently again, that was cut out of the television version, you know, when they would bring these films to TV on the 430 movie, the ABC movie.

They would cut scenes out. And there was a long scene where, instead of Kenneth Mars as the Nazi playwright blowing up the theater with Leo and Max by lighting fuses, right? The short fuse and the long fuse. That actually didn't result in the explosion of the theater. What resulted was they were rigging up that plunger device. And who comes out of the bar is a drunken Bill Hickey. And he looks at the thing.

He says, what's this? Whitney's cotton gin? And he goes to put his foot on the plunger to tie his shoelace and that's what blows up the theater. So that's a fascinating anecdote, I know. But anyway, by the time he came around to Wings, and this was past Pritzy's honor, he was already kind of a wisp of a guy. I mean, he had no – apparently had no musculature at all. He had just bones and some tendons. He was a crazy drinker and a smoker. He was scary to look at. Yeah. Whee wheezing i mean just blinking kind of exhausted him and he was i remember we stayed at the hotel

and they pick us up in the same car and and he had some woman who was supposed to be his keeper who who didn't hold on to him yeah and he And he looked like Night of the Living Dead. He weighed two pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And was wobbling. And he was one of those classic cases, though, of when they yelled action, he could do it. He could. But it was still frightening to watch because he really had maybe 48 breaths left in him.

Oh, yeah. watch because he really had maybe 48 breaths left in him oh yeah and uh and yet he was still able to hang on hang on and be funny i mean you it was actually great casting for you guys i think but he was he was again one of those people that you couldn't really get close to because you were distracted by his physical state. Yeah. And again, another instance of meeting your heroes or seeing these famous people and realizing that they're made of clay. Sure. Well, that's the thing with this show.

I mean, you're one of the guests that actually listens to the show, which we're flattered by. And who's under 60. You're also under 60. Yes. Who's under 60. You're also under 60. Yes. Who's still alive. You're still alive. But the challenge, you know, we're trying to use the show to tell the showbiz history through these stories before they're gone. And sometimes, you know, you just – you don't get there in time.

Well, it's like the Mayan culture, you know, like the whole thing. I used to work in the Catskills, you know, and so many of these – and you probably worked up there. That is a – that culture has been completely obliterated and it was the richest, complex, wonderful culture. It really was with every conceivable entertainer worked in this area. Mel Brooks. Used to work there. Was he a tumbler, Mel Brooks? Yeah. A tumbler. Mel Brooks. Was he a

tumbler, Mel Brooks? Yeah. And Danny Kaye was a tumbler. Oh, yeah. I worked up at this hotel called Kutcher's, another one called the Concord. They were thriving resorts. Beautiful, big, tons of food, and not just

the Jew comic was there. You know, you had Sinatra, Ray Charles, you had I saw Cab Call Jew comic was there. You had Sinatra, Ray Charles. You had – I saw Keb Calloway up there. Yeah, it was crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. Fun. But it's all gone.

It seems like when you think about it, you think something nearby where you get entertainment, you get the outdoors. Where you get entertainment, you get the outdoors. Why – it wouldn't have been a nice vacation for – to live on further. I think their base audience was aging out. Yeah. And they were always waiting for gambling to go – to come to New York State, right? It never, never came. They were waiting, waiting and that would bring the next wave, the next generations because by the time the 70s came around and that's when I was working there, the hotels

were pretty much dying and they were scrambling to make themselves vital. There were singles weekends. There were disco. They would – I remember there were teachers teaching disco. And I mean this – the time of these hotels was passing. What were you doing there? I was – well, at Kutcher's, I was on the so-called athletic staff. I called bingo.

I lined tennis courts and did odd jobs. I did odd jobs and then at night I would hold – when I was sober enough to because I was in my teens and it was all pot and drinking and girls and everything was amazing. I would hold the lights. I would point the lights on the stage and saw all these acts. I saw Jan Murray. I saw, like I said, Keb Calloway. I saw, I think, Sandler and Young and crazy – Sandler and Young. And all these acts. I saw Jan Murray. I saw, like I said, Kev Calloway. I saw, I think, Sandler and Young. Wow. You know, crazy.

Sandler and Young. And all these acts. And of course, that was my kind of family's background. So it made sense to me that I was there. And then I was a cabana boy around this huge pool at the Concord. And it was where they would have singles weekends. And this is when they were really trying to do the best they could to revitalize their base. And who was there a lot was Lenny Schultz. Oh, yes. And he would – at the Concord, occasionally he would – in lieu of being an actual tumbler, he would make an appearance and he would walk around the pool with a papoose, with a doll of a baby in the back of the papoose.

And he had a riding crop at one hand. And he'd walk around and he would scream, shut up, shut up, shut up. And he would hit the baby with the riding crop and walk around. And people would howl. It was great. It was a great time. It really was. I remember Lenny Schultz in a chicken costume.

Oh, my God. His big shtick. He was kind of a real – I would say he was a great time. It really was. I remember Lenny Schultz in a chicken costume. Oh, my God. His big shtick. He was kind of a real, I would say he was a big star, but he was on Laugh-In. Yeah. I think there was a special with him. Interesting cat. Yeah. He was a gym teacher.

Yeah. He never took off the way he should have because I remember he used to appear at Catcher Rising Star all the time and the audience would go out of their minds. Go crazy, Lenny, they would say. That was his thing. You know, you've heard of Meet the Press? Well, here's Press the Meat, and he would have chopped meat and smash it. And it was all very kinetic shtick, you know, a lot of weird faces.

It wasn't intelligent comedy, but it was hilarious. I thought it was. I thought we would scream for him. And then we'd go to clubs at night. Of course, get hammered on tequila sunrises. And your dad represented some of those Borscht Belt guys like Freddie Roman and Dick Capri, who are both still with us, by the way. That's right. Two guys we should get on the show, Gil.

Oh, yeah. Freddie, you've got to have Catskill stories. Well, I've got to tell you something. Several years ago, I went to see – there was a Broadway show called Catskills on Broadway. I think I brought my mom who wanted to see it. And I went with some trepidation because I thought, oh, it's going to be old, old people again. Oh, here we go. It's going to be corny shit.

And it was amazing. These people knew how to work a room. And there were three. It was Dick Capri, Freddie how to work a room. And, you know, there were three. It was Dick Capri, Freddie Roman. Mal Z. Lawrence. And Mal Z. Lawrence was the cleanup. Yeah. And he fucking destroyed the theater. It was like a music box theater.

Destroyed the theater. It's hilarious. I could not believe what he was doing. It's funny with a lot of these performers who I've gone to see thinking, I'm going to laugh at how bad they are and how out of touch. And then when you watch them, they go, oh, wait, they're fucking great. They're great.

They were artists. They knew what they were doing, honed after decades of working rooms, you know, and probably had every conceivable challenge in front of them. You know, it was Marilyn Michaels was also in the show. Oh, she's still around. She's on Facebook.

Let me tell you, they really killed it. They really did. Funny lady. Several years ago, I was working up at Williamstown doing a play, and I ran into the son of another Catskills agent. This guy's name was Arnold Graham. And Arnold Graham's son recognized me, and we started talking and talking about Catskills and all that stuff. And he told me, oh, what comic?

Some comedian, I want to say Mack Robbins or somebody whose name is not around anymore, some guy. They are now working, these comedians. They can't stop working. Now they do gigs at assisted living facilities in Florida or in New Jersey. And they're, you know, 85, 87, 90 years old and they still keep going. Huh? Sounds good, doesn't it, Gilbert? He's thinking about it.

Sounds good. Get in on it now. Yeah. I have some rare video that I have to send you of Morty Gunty and Gene Balos. Roasting Joe Franklin. I'll sendy Gunty and Gene Balos. Roasting Joe Franklin. I'll send it to you. You know what I remember? I remember one time being booked at the Nevely.

The Nevely. Yeah, yeah. And I was sitting in their lunchroom at one point. And there was a family there having breakfast or lunch. family there having breakfast or lunch, and the rabbi jumped up and ran over to that table really angrily and yelled at them because like a little kid there was having a glass of milk with like some meat that he was eating, and you couldn't mix milk and meat. And I'm thinking, if they're that desperate to keep alive, you shouldn't have those kind of difficulties. No, no.

Milk and meat. Most rabbis are composed mostly of milk and meat. If you squeeze them hard enough, something like milk comes out of their meat. So your dad, I find this fascinating. And just to give this a little subtext, when you first came here, we had Pat Cooper in this room about two weeks ago. And he was sitting in this chair discussing Willie Webber. Wow. Which I find to be a very strange coincidence.

And telling us how Willie Webber, and it's in his book, your grandfather got him booked on the Gleason Show. Amazing. Amazing. And that was a turning point for him. Yeah, I guess so. Well, my grandfather was apparently, I'm given to understand, a fairly influential guy in this particular circle of comedians. He – my grandfather, interestingly enough, was an orphan in Harlem at the turn of the 20th century and grew up on the streets. It was a very tough, sinewy, you know, kind of Jew. And he fought his way up and became involved in the mob.

He worked with a guy we were talking about named Waxy Gordon. I love that. Waxy Gordon. Waxy Gordon. I love that. Waxy Gordon. Waxy Gordon. He was a New Jersey mobster. And he had a lot of kind of adventures, my grandfather. And then he went from gangster, I think, to agent, which is a

logical next step. Oh, yeah. Both dishonest. Both dishonest. Why did he go to jail? Was he involved in some kind of Apparently he was maybe running drugs or from the back of his car or he took the fall for somebody. And again, it was all very hush-hush. I could never get – I got very few details about that side of the family from these people.

They knew how to keep a secret. Omerta, I guess. But the story was that he was loyal to whatever Don there was at the time. And for a while, and my mother confirmed this when she first married my father, they went to a wedding, an Italian wedding, to which this Don was there. And when they saw my grandfather, everything stopped. And the Don, I don't know who it was, said, Willie, come here. And my mother couldn't believe it. Don Corleone was embracing her father-in-law. So he must have been, you know, trusted in some ways. And he was a really tough guy. He was very hard on my dad. You know, my father had a very tough childhood

through being, I want to say, abused by this guy who probably received lots of abuse himself. And there was that kind of toughness that he was known for by his comics. Everything you read about him is that he was generous to comics, that he was decent. He may have been. He may have been. I mean, who knows? It's all a mystery. I've had to kind of make up or imagine pieces of this puzzle.

Because you never met him? I did know him when I was – he was old. By the time I came into the picture and, you know, we would sleep over my grandparents' house, an apartment in Queens, which overlooked a cemetery, which was great. in Queens, which overlooked a cemetery, which is great. And he would come in in the mornings and bring the papers, but I didn't see him when he was at his height. But, I mean, I was given to understand that, yeah, while he was generous to his comics, he was also extremely tough.

I really don't know what qualifications he had to kind of steer or guide these guys' careers, but he must have had an eye in order to find them to begin with. Yeah, our friend Lou, Cliff Nesterhoff, has some really great stuff that he managed. Lou Marsh and Tony Adams, does that mean anything to you? These were acts managed. Stone and Shine. Stone and Shine. And Jackie Vernon. Well, Jackie Vernon, yeah.

Jackie Vernon, everybody knows. And Mickey Shaughnessy. You know that name, Gil? Mickey Shaughnessy. You know that name, Gil? Mickey Shaughnessy. I've heard the name. Yeah. Mickey Shaughnessy was actually in a few movies. I think he was like a, he was a character guy.

He was a deez, dum, and doze type of a guy, I think. And a comic, you know. And Jackie Vernon, of course, was, here's some slides for my vacation. But his hand on his stomach. Yeah. And he'd have a little clicker and he'd go, here's Manuel leading us around the quicksand. Here's Manuel from the waist up. Here's Manuel's hat.

But Jackie Vernon says, God bless Willie Weber, which I found online. I think, well, you know, in Cliff's book, there's more than a few mentions of your grandpa. And this is interesting, because you know that Rickles didn't start out as an insult comic. He apparently started out

doing impressions. He did? And the insult thing came, you knew impressions he did and the insult thing came you knew the skill yeah the insult thing came much later well jackie yeah people claim that jackie leonard jackie leonard always claimed don rickles stole his whole personality because i remember jackie leonard necessarily being an insult comic right yeah he was I mean I don't remember Jackie Leonard. I guess he would pick on people in the audience. Yeah, it said that Don Rickles early in his career imitated Peter Lorre and did other impressions and that your grandfather, when he was booking him, if they would tell him, well, we don't need another comic, your grandfather would tell people he was a harmonica virtuoso. This is what I found. That's interesting.

Online. Yeah. I hope it's true. And I think, was it Weber who told Pat Cooper, I want to get you on Gleason, but first I want to book you in St. Louis. Right. Yeah. So he'd go to St. Louis and he'd bomb but help develop him.

Interesting. You wonder where he got this acumen from, this understanding. And again, because I remember him being particularly funny. My father too was who I guess followed in his footsteps. Phil Webb Attractions? Phil Webb Attractions, yeah. I guess Phil Greenwald was his partner for a while. And Philly Greenwald was the guy that worked up the Concord. And he was, I guess, the booker at the Concord and a reasonably powerful guy, again, in that circle.

But then my father – yeah, that's right. My father was my – was partners with his father. And then Willie died and then my dad was on his own. And he worked with Pat Cooper, who I knew when I was a kid. And his other big actor was a guy named Pat Henry. Pat Henry opened for Sinatra. Forever. Yeah.

And he was a Chicago-based comic and not well-known today but you can find some stuff on YouTube. Thank God for the internet which is both wonderful and horrific. But for this type of stuff, you can find some stuff on YouTube. Thank God for the internet, which is both wonderful and horrific. But for this type of stuff, you can find anything. And indeed, I found some footage of Pat Henry, I think, on the Ed Sullivan Show. And he wasn't a comedian who was inherently hilarious or maybe could improvise. But he developed – Reliable and developed, I guess guess an hour or so of material. And I would actually go to nightclubs with my father and then go backstage and see that whole world,

which was interesting, especially when he was with Sinatra. But a couple of times I went to these smaller clubs and my father would then huddle with him afterwards and give him notes. And again, even then at the time, I thought, what the hell does my father know about comedy? He doesn't, he's not, he ain't funny. But again, he was a stalwart, I suppose. And they liked my father and my grandfather, which is odd. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast.

But first, a word from our sponsor. And now back to the show. And then you made a movie. You wrote a movie called Clubland. I did. I did. I wrote a movie which miraculously got made. It was for Showtime.

You know, before Showtime was really cool. This is when they allowed guys like me to write movies. And I guess they were hurting for materials. But I was able to make a quasi-biographical or autobiographical movie about my father and his father, Stewie and Willie. And Alan Alda played Willie and I played Stewie. I played my own father. And it was – and I cobbled together a story that had some biographical events in it. But I had to make this whole thing up. And Saul Rubinick, who's a wonderful actor. We love Saul Rubinick. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he was great. And he directed it. And it was very – it was kind of a very artsy version. We did these kind of real-time transitions. these kind of real-time transitions. He loved to, Saul loved to transition from winter to summer without cutting the camera. So it'd be winter over here where he'd point the camera, and meanwhile people would be frantically changing over the scene

while he slowly panned to the summer. And it was great, but it took forever, and it wasn't compelling really for an audience to watch. And Brad Garrett, turns out, was he playing a Gleason kind of character? Brad Garrett played my grandfather's big comic that ends up leaving him. So there was that aspect. So there was a little bit of Rickles. A little bit, yeah.

He was a composite. And Brad was great. I think it was one of his first kind of solid acting roles. And it was great. It was great to do. But, you know. Did you meet Sinatra? I didn't quite meet him, but I was backstage.

It used to be a theater called the Westchester Premier Theater, which I'd heard later on was mob-owned. Surprise. Shocking. Yeah. That notwithstanding was a viable theater. And Pat Henry was opening for Sinatra at the Westchester Premier Theater. And I went backstage and met a variety of characters that were in the kind of Sinatra world.

One was a guy named Nifty who seemed to be. Nifty together with Waxy or whatever. Waxy, Nifty. That's like out of a movie that you think didn't exist in real life. All these guys. Nifty together with Waxy or whatever. Waxy, Nifty. That's like out of a movie that you think didn't exist in real life. All these guys. Nifty. Well, and I took these characters and put them in the movie that I wrote. Nifty was a guy that somehow carried all the band's music.

The band was Sam Butera and the Witnesses that had worked with Louis Prima, actually. But he was the band. They were the band. And Nifty was hopped up on, and I'm not making this up, cough medicine was his drug, I think, of choice. He was fucking guzzling cough medicine. And it was the 70s, so he had a shag haircut. And he was a tough guy, and he was drinking cough medicine. Another guy was a guy they called the Czar.

The Czar. Another guy was a guy they called the Tsar. The Tsar. And the Tsar was a diminutive guy named Larry who was, I guess, kind of an idiot. I don't know what he was doing, but he carried some of Pat Henry's papers. They had these kind of – Pat Henry was Italian. He was Italian. So nifty, the Tsar.

And then next door, I could hear Sinatra warbling and warming up. And that was it. And I never got to meet him. I recall meeting a priest who carried a gun. I recall meeting a guy who my father introduced me to as Shooter. And indeed, he was a squat, scary-looking guy, Bob Hoskins type, who shook my little hand. His hand was like a catcher's mitt. How you doing, kid?

And they were all so nice. And there's something incredibly compelling about that whole world. I'm sure there was a lot of shit that I could not even imagine. I do remember seeing some woman had passed a Polaroid of her naked to give to Pat Henry. And I remember somehow

my 13-year-old eyes kind of found this. As it was passed from Nifty to the Czar to Pat. And I realized that this is the business for me. What part of Queens did you grow up in? We were talking before. You were all over?

All over. I grew up in Briarwood, Flushing, Fresh Meadows, Rico Park, Forest Hills. I'm from that area, too. My dad had, there were also guys in the neighborhood that my dad knew with those nicknames. Oh, I'm sure. There was a guy they called Handsome Pills. Handsome Pills. I'm from that area, too. My dad had – there were also guys in the neighborhood that my dad knew with those nicknames. Oh, I'm sure. They called Handsome Pills. Handsome Pills. Because somebody said – somebody once said, look at this guy.

He looks like he just swallowed a whole bottle of Handsome Pills. Handsome Pills. And the name stuck. Handsome Pills. There were all these guys. It had a very – it had this kind of post-war flavor to it. I mean, there were still old candy shops and lunch nets with – like out of the Bowery Boys. It had malted machines and red stools. There was still some of that when I was growing up. A lot of it. I mean, there were still old candy shops and lunch nets with, you know, like out of the Bowery Boys that had malted machines and red stools.

There was still some of that when I was growing up. A lot of it, a lot of it. And then it kind of really changed, I want to say, in the 70s. I guess all of us remember getting a malted and they would fill the glass with the malted and

give you the metal shaker. That's right. Or you got a chocolate egg cream. Same thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you're from Coney Island, so there must have been a million of those places. Oh, yeah.

And the metal shaker was cold. Yes. It was nice and cold. And it was amazing. And it was like, so you got really over two glasses of milkshake. Well, there's Eisenberg's. What's the name? You're still in your neighborhood, right?

The little place in Chelsea that has the old lunch counter? Oh, yeah. I went to that place. Yeah, that's right. They try to do that. There's a few left. And no one remembers when, if I go into a place and say malted, they don't know what it is. They don't know what you're talking about.

You're still going into Delhi? Yeah. I want a malted. They were drugstores in those days. Drugstores. Now, also, getting back to Wings for a second, there was like one of the leads was the very pretty sexy Crystal Bernard. And now you were telling me something about a song she released about her family. She's telling me something about a song she released about her family.

Well, she came from a kind of a classic evangelical tent meeting kind of a background. The family actually went on, you know, they went to revival meetings, I guess, and sang all manner of songs that would get you to embrace Jesus. And one of these songs was, and I heard it, was called, The Monkey Ain't No Relative of Mine. And you can ask Amy Yazbeck about this. It's an anti-evolution kind of a thing? Or anti-monkey or anti-relative. Yeah, just anti-monkey or anti-relative.

Yeah, just anti-monkey. Pro scopes trial song with it. Tons of them. Ray Stevens did a big scopes trial. A whole scopes trial period. A scopes trial period. So the monkey ain't no relative of mine. That's right.

So basically denying the whole evolution. Or yes, yeah, maybe the monkey ain't no relative. I guess that's what it was. Look, the key to, I guess, certain sects is that evolution is false. But the thing was that Crystal was and is, I mean, I haven't seen her in a while, I think one of the most underrated comic actresses on TV. She was very, oh, look, you and she did great routines on that show where you were constantly leering at her and she would fend you off with that kind of acid.

She was terrific. She was really good. Because it was always like, you know, I was the typical, my being obnoxious. You were playing a lech? Yeah, the horny guy and I'm just constantly trying to come on to her. Yeah, obnoxious. You were playing a lech? Yeah. The horny guy. And I'm just constantly trying to come on to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like disgusted.

She was disgusted. I remember one thing that I'll always remember about Crystal Bernard, though, was one time we were about, you know, I would always like do the thing that I'm making a pass at her and then she'd insult me. And then one time backstage, we were about to go on and Crystal Bernard put her arms around me and said, I'm sorry. I have to say so many bad things about you. That's nice. Oh, nice. It's really nice. Wow.

She was really authentic. That's interesting. Did she give you a hand, John? A blowjob, but it was very quick, and she spit it out. On camera? On camera? Yes. She did a spit take of your semen? I said, the king is alive!

And she went... Wow. Yeah. Most people don't know when watching spit takes on TV shows, that's mostly cum. I know that. That's consistency, because you can't see regular water or seltzer on TV. Most of it is body fluids. And yogurt didn't fly.

It doesn't fly. Semen is so aerodynamic. Who knew? Speaking of wings, I'm going to ask you about a couple of other people who are on the show. Besides two of our podcast guests, Craig, who we talked about, and Josh Mostel. Josh Mostel, that's right. Zero sun, Josh. But here's a list of interesting people. I just want to see if these jog any memories. Rosemary?

Rosemary? I think she's still alive. She is. Yes! She is. She's still alive. She is. Yes. She is. She's still alive and alert. We just interviewed Dick Van Dyke. Dick Van Dyke on a couple of weeks ago. Oh, my God.

He's amazing. Yeah, Rosemary was on it. We were in awe of her. You know, she was great. She still got it. You know, that it, whatever it is. How about Soupy? That's right.

Soupy Sales was on it. I mean, this show was the fucking nexus. Everybody was stuck. Yeah, I mean, we were on for seven years. We had so many people on the show. Soupy Sales was on the fucking show. Norman Lloyd, who's still with us. Norman Lloyd is 185

years old. Judd Apatow was going to get him for us. He's hilarious. Work with Chaplin and Keaton. And Hitchcock. And I heard, I guess, Judd Apatow was telling us that Norman Lloyd, he hired for this last movie. That's right. And here he is. He's 100.

He showed up by himself. He showed himself to the set. Yeah. That's right. Love that. He wiped his ass with the body of Bill, of William Hickey. William Hickey.

Wrung him out. Here's a couple others. Pat Hingle did the show. Yeah, Pat Hingle. My God, I worked with Pat Hingle. Pat Hingle was great.

A great actor. I was in The Shining with him. You know, he lost his pinky. He didn't lose it. I mean, it was ripped out of him

as a young actor. I did not know that. He, if you watch his films. No, you can. You can see that. You brought him it was ripped out of him. As a young actor. I did not know that. If you watch his films. No, you can. You can see that. You brought him up a couple of weeks ago. Yeah.

I was always a big fan of Paddington. A really wonderful actor. And I got to tell you, while we were shooting Wings one night, you know, we always had a warm-up comic. We had a band. There was lots of tumult. And it was a din. And we were fine. But he was absolutely tortured by it. He couldn't believe it. And he was kind of tumult and it was a din and we were fine. But he was absolutely tortured by it.

He couldn't believe it and he was kind of outraged as though he hadn't done a – maybe he hadn't done a four-camera sitcom. But there was so much noise and so much party atmosphere in order to just keep the audience interested for Christ's sake. They were handing out sugar. Yeah. He's handing out sugar. Yeah. But he couldn't take it. One thing, if people out there haven't been to the filming of a show, they'll have comedians come out and they'll do like, you know, the Macarena. They'll be tossing stuff out to the audience.

They got to keep the audience awake. Because it's four hours, sometimes more. Oh, yeah. I came to a Wings taping. You did? Yeah, I don't remember the comic. I remember you. My first year in L.A.

You were wearing a gray jacket. The comic is a guy named Robert Lee. Robert Lee. Still working. Very funny dude. L.E.E.? L.E.E., yeah. Not L.I. He wasn't Asian. It could have been L.E.I.G.H.

Like Vivian Lee, who was hilarious too. What about MichaelI. He wasn't Asian. It could have been L-E-I-G-H. L-E-I-G-H. That's right. Like Vivian Leigh. Right. Who was hilarious, too. What about Michael J. Pollard on Wings? Fucking Michael J. Pollard was on Wings. Yeah, I forgot that. Michael J. Pollard was on Wings. I kind of remember, again, you meet your heroes.

He wasn't the warmest guy. He was still tripping, I guess. And he was, you know, he was there. I mean, there wasn't that much interaction between, you know, they would do their thing, and then they'd go to their rooms and smoke a joint or jerk off or whatever. I was once replaced by Michael J. Pollard. Oh, tell us. I did.

It was horrible. Do you remember telling me this? What was it? Well, I was once replaced by Billy Barney. That was in Mel Brooks. Yes, in Life Stinks. Oh, my God. They really wanted me. They kept saying,

oh, Gilbert, you're great for the part. And I was replaced with Billy Barney at the last minute. They said... He worked for half. Yeah. Is this a money thing? I was doing a movie, the last of the Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor comedies called Another You.

It was horrible. And I was playing one of the parts and then they fired the director. I was playing one of the parts, and then they fired the director, and most of the cast got rid of all the previously shot footage and replaced a bunch of people, and they replaced me with Michael J. Pollard. Because you weren't dynamic enough? Yeah. Michael J. Pollard. I didn't have the sex appeal of Michael J. Pollard. Was Mason Reese unavailable? I would love to see a threesome with you, Mason Reese, and Michael J. Pollard.

It can be arranged. Fucking each other and rubbing each other with Noxzema. It can be arranged. What about Peter Tork did an episode of Wings? Peter Tork did an episode of Wings. Peter Tork did an episode of Wings. You name it, they did it. Phil Leeds. Oh, well, Phil Leeds.

Let's talk about Phil Leeds. Oh, my God. He always popped up on – what was that? Ally McBeal. That's right. That's right. Phil Leeds was – I forget who told me this, but he was one of the original sick comics in the 50s who did i guess more blue stuff and more outrageous stuff like like um like or when cory was did kind of offbeat shit he didn't do like a joke punchline

joke but it was strange and phil leads was also in rosemary's baby that's right he's right and and because he's got this hilariously funny face and suddenly it's malevolent in that film. But Phil Leeds was, I guess, a few years away from dying. So he looked like what all Jews look like eventually, like an oil painting in the rain. You know, he's like, whoa. He's like, where in bar? Melting. bar melting but so funny and and gave me and tim one of our longest uh you know uh crack ups that we ever had because he had to say the line he screwed me he screwed me blue and coming out of

this guy's face which was like it looked like an apple sculpture on a windowsill you know he was and we were so aware of his comic appeal and what he looked like and was so amazing in front of this audience that yeah, that was a particularly memorable one. Hell, we had Oliver North on the game. I know. I was going through IMDb looking at the names. Which was, I don't know who thought that that would

be. It's like having, hey, we've got Joey Gerbils. We got Gerbils on the show. He's going to prison, buddies. It'll pull our ratings up. We had Oliver North. This guy lied to Congress. He's a nightmare, you know.

And we did a scene where, yeah, I did the scene with him. And I remember Tim was really, was having a tough time with it. That was a tough time. Tim Daly, the handsomest man in North America? He is. My wife is in love with him. Everybody's in love with him. And I would wind up sort of

working with Tim again in that I was Miss Yes Picklick in a couple of episodes where he was Superman. Oh, interesting. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Superman. Fucking fuck Tim Daly.

And Tim Daly is, of course, the brother of Tyne Daly. That's right. From Cagney and Lacey. That's right. And the son of James Daly. James Daly. The medical center. Oh, that's right.

And I believe the Twilight Zone. The Twilight Zone and also a Star Trek episode. Correct. Which Twilight zone? Oh, oh, oh. Oh, wait, hold up. Where he jumps off the train last... Oh, Willoughby? Next Stop Willoughby?

Oh, that was a great one. Great episode. With a double whammy at the end. Next Stop Willoughby. He gets off. He's the... Rod Serling loved the overworked, you know, the guy from the 50s and early 60s, the overworked executive who's longing for a time, the halcyon days. And he takes the train and every night he falls asleep and in this dream he's on an old-fashioned train and it stops at Willoughby. And he looks outside and there's kids rolling hoops and there's ice cream stands and everybody's walking hand in hand wearing straw bats and all that stuff.

And finally one night he gets off the fucking train. And we're back in the present. Apparently he walked off the train at Willoughby. And then you think that's it. Oh, my God. Except they put his body in the back of this hearse and it says Willoughby Funeral Home. What the fuck like they they they did the whole thing there was another uh twilight zone very much in that same

order uh of a guy who's like works for a big agency and and it's gig young really yeah yeah is that the one who meets himself as a boy? Yes. Yeah. Gig Young gets stuck. He's on his way to a business meeting. His car breaks down. He's stuck in a town, and he realizes, I think it's called walking distance. He's in walking distance of the town he grew up in. Wow. So he walks there, and everything is exactly the same.

And he sees himself as a little boy. And that's a great one. And there's another one where a guy who's overworked with – the actor's name is escaping me. This guy also played – was in The Godfather. He played one of the Don's – Oh, I know who you mean. Robert Marley? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I know who you mean. The Marley? No, no, no, no, no, no. I know who you mean. The guy that played Barzini? Yeah, Barzini when he says, you know, Conti, Richard Conti. Richard Conti. Oh, my God. Conti is over a guy who jumps out the window, but of course he doesn't jump out the window. The girl with the cat eyes. Oh, that's right.

That's right. Every time he falls asleep, he sees the girl with the cat eyes. He wants to bring him into a fun house or bring him onto a ride or something, but he can't because he's a loser. And he says in that wonderful Richard Conti way, he goes, there's no way to win. It's tails you win. It's kids you win, tails I lose. Tails I lose. And everybody's smoking.

Everybody's smoking. Oh, yes. This brings us to what, as we wind down, the kind of things you watched as a kid. Now, you wrote a couple of episodes of the new Outer Limits. I did. So you were an Outer Limits fan as a kid? Because we ask a lot of people who grew up around here what you watched as a kid. You watched the same stuff we did.

I guess I did. Twilight Zone, Chiller Theater. Chiller Theater used to scare, just the opening credits. Oh, yeah, with the six-fingered hand coming out of the quicksand. Yeah, and then there was Creature Features, which was on WNEW. Sure, sure. Where they had a guy who was one of the local announcers, I guess, kind of be a creepy guy. Yeah, like in New York, it was Zachary.

Zachary. I never watched Zachary. He is John Zachary. He is indeed. I think he's 90-something. I've got to tell you something. You know, it occurred to me, and you can research this,

there are guys alive that really started, that founded modern television. Television as we know it. Chuck McCann. We had Chuck McCann. You did have Chuck McCann. He was terrific. There's not, I feel like Lee Strasberg, there's not a plaque or a statue

for Chuck McCann this guy created him and Sonny Fox Sandy Becker Sandy Becker yep who may be still alive

I think I'm not sure Sandy Becker's gone but Sonny Fox is around kind of live sketch comedy Soupy Sales did this kind of cutting edge

really raw stuff which you know I mean without them I mean who knows what would happen. So you were watching the stuff. Were you Officer Joe Bolton?

Absolutely. Officer Joe Bolton. And there was, I remember now, because we were talking about Pat Hingle, there was a Pat Hingle Twilight Zone episode. Oh, wow. Where he's a henpecked guy who works for a toy factory, and he really wants to be with these little kids that he was with as a boy. I don't remember that. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So you liked horror films, and you liked sci-fi. I did like sci-fi and horror. But also, I loved all the local shows in New York. You know, New York was the... Captain Jack McCarthy, you remember? Three Bells and All Spring Bells. Hey, he's a local York. You know, New York was the... Captain Jack McCarthy, you remember? Three bells and all spring bells. Hey, he's a local kid. You remember Beachcomber Bill?

Am I the only person who remembers that? I don't. Or Diver Dan? Diver Dan, yeah. Finley. Finley was a fish with that little flappy thing. Yeah. And I remember Captain Jack used to say,

well, time and tide wait for no man. Yeah. Now it's off to the bar. Yeah, exactly. That's right. Now, oh, I remember on Wings, because he was Carlton, William Hickey, and I was his nephew. At one part, he was talking about me on the thing, and he goes, Lewis is a nice boy, but he's got that annoying voice.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I heard you have a story about me during the making of Wings Eating on the set. I don't remember. Maybe because I don't want to remember. Well, when Stephen and I first connected on LinkedIn.

Do I remember? This is what he's referring to. You said to me, I'll come, I'll do the show, I'll tell stories about watching Gilbert eat. You know, I probably was just probably trying to impress Frank. You were

impressing him by saying you saw me eat. Yeah. I watched him eat a foot-long sandwich. Gilbert can unhinge his jaw like a fucking snake. Without chewing, nobody was looking. Holy shit. And he passed the whole thing intact.

That's funny. He's not from this earth. He's not of this earth. Gilbert Gottfried, not of this earth. Gibble Godfrey, not of this earth. As we run out of time here, you want to talk, I got a whole bunch of things left. You want to talk about Kojak movie? Look, I've been lucky enough to work with all

these great guys. And Tully Savalas did the great Twilight Zone episode, Talking Tina. He did. Yeah, Talking Tina. I worked with Tully Savalas on one of the last Kojak TV movies in which it was clear that his main motivation in any scene was to find a place to sit down. And they would go over the scene and he would say, all right, I'm going to sit over here. And then I'm going to move to that seat over there. I'm going to sit on the desk.

And that's how they would direct it. And me and Andre Brower were the two kind of detectives who did all the footwork. But he would just be in scenes where he'd be drinking coffee. I don't think he was sucking a lollipop. I believe Angie Dickinson was in that. Angie Dickinson was that? Oh, God, Angie Dickinson. Yeah. I'm just going to throw some names at you.

Throw some names at me. As we run out of time. Yeah, as we run out of time. What about Philip Bosco? Well, Philip Bosco I worked with a few times and we did a play we did Come Back Little Sheba at the Old Roundabout and we did a

the first movies I was in was called Walls of Glass, very obscure and Philip Bosco was one of these redoubtable character guys, New York based. He's still around. He's still around. I think he lives in Tenafly or something like that. A great actor. Look, I mean,

actors are sort of treated like shit and maybe justifiably so. I mean, obviously, you know, they make money and they get a lot of easy affirmation, but he you know, he would have been knighted if he was in England.

But Gilbert would have been thrown into debtor's prison. For sure. So I'm glad we're here. You made a movie called I Woke Up Early the Day I Died, which is written by Ed Wood. Ed Wood, yeah. I knew Ed Wood in the old days. Did you work with Tippi Hedren or Eartha Kitt? Neither.

I think I worked with Billy Zane, who's the Eartha Kitt of white guys. kit? Neither. I think I worked with Billy Zane, who's the Eartha Kitt of white guys. I've done so many things and a lot of them are, of course, on the resume, but you know, a lot of them don't register.

How about Elliot Gould? Elliot Gould I worked with in The Shining, and he was an extremely cool, approachable guy and I, again, played poker with him a couple of times. I've been lucky enough to work with all these great legends.

You were in The Flamingo Kid with Richard Crenna and Hector Elizondo. All these guys. Anything there? And Gary Marshall, of course. Gary Marshall. Well, I mean, I had been a cabana boy, and I think when I met Gary Marshall, that's what sort of got me the job. It was Marissa Tomei was in that movie. I think when I met Gary Marshall, that's what sort of got me the job. It was you know, Marissa Tomei was

in that movie. I think I was trying to bang her, I think, and she gave me the brush off. Yeah, terrible. Her mistake. And yeah, Richard Crenna was in it and all these great character guys. Richard Stahl, was it? Remember Richard Stahl? Oh, yes. He used to pop

up on The Odd Couple. The Odd Couple. Of course. He was great. Roger J. Doctor. He was the, invariably, he was the... Oh, he was hysterical. He married Billy, what was his name?

His little character guy who was in McHale's Navy. Billy Halep? Not Billy Halep. Oh, my God. That's from the Dead End Kids. Billy Halep. Oh, the guy from McHale's Navy. Oh, shit. and kids Billy Halep. The guy's from Bethany. But one of my favorite odd couple episodes

is when Blanche is going to get remarried and they've got to stand up. What is that guy's name? He was the cab driver in All in the Family. He was. Oh, my God. Yes, yes. I think he may have just died recently.

No, not Billy Halep. That's right. And Richard Stahl was the preacher who spoke like this. Oh, God. I see his face so clear. Let's take another crack at – So he's the same guy on the subway train in The Odd Couple that's selling the marked-up sandwiches when they're trapped in the – Well, that was his whole shtick was – but he was part of this –

He was hysterical. He was part of a comedy troupe in the 60s. He was kind of a hipped-out, pot-laced comedy group, Richard Stahl. Funny guy. He always played these kind of dry, dry white guys. Very deadpan. Very deadpan. Yeah, that's right. I confused him with the guy that was married to Valerie Harper, Richard Schaal. Oh, yes. Do you remember him?

Richard Schaal is kind of almost like a, not a Dick Schaal, almost like a Kenneth Mars type. A little bit, a little bit. What else do I have? Charles Durning. You were in the Kennedys of Massachusetts. Charlie Durning. And you became a friend. And I became friendly with this guy.

And this was a guy who's literally an unsung hero in that he was at D-Day. Yeah. He's, you know, a great genius. I heard stories about him. Like in World War Two. He would like be carrying like a body of his friend through gunfire. I mean, he was an amazing guy. And I heard I hope this is true.

They said one time the Nazis were lining up these American soldiers and they were shooting them one by one. And Charles Durning just turned to the other soldier and said, let's get the fuck out of here. And he made a run for it. And that other soldier was William Hickey. Yeah. But I also heard Charles Durning was among the troops that freed the camps. That's right.

That's right. I mean this guy did tons of stuff. He was – not only was he among the troops that freed people from the camps but also he had been injured. He was stabbed in the throat with a bayonet and went blind because it severed a nerve or something like that, which I guess subsequently grew back. I don't know. Who the hell knows? But he was – he led an amazing life and was, again, a really accessible guy. He was charming. He knew lots of filthy limericks.

He taught me that. There once was a sailor named Bates who danced the fandango on skates. He fell on his cutlass, which rendered him nutless and practically useless on dates. Which convulsed me. Beautiful. And then he was, I think, a dance instructor. That's right. He was a great dancer.

That's right. And he was a price fighter. He knew jujitsu, I guess. He was taught judo or jujitsu by David Niven, who was in the OSS or something like that. And I heard that when he was a price fighter, one of his opponents was Jack Wharton. Wow. Yeah. And Bill Hickey was in Jack Wharton's corner.

He was the ringleader. He was a guy. He was his cut man. Did you know Christopher Lee was a Nazi hunter? He was? Yeah. Yes. Tall Christopher Lee?

Yes. Scary Nazi hunter. How about that? Christopher Lee Nazi hunter would be a good movie. Indeed it would be. Tall guy. See, these are people like I would have loved to have interviewed Charles Derny. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We look at, we go, I look at the love boat IMDB. Yeah. And I see hundreds and hundreds of names and everybody's gone. Everybody's gone. And we're sure we've had a few on the show. We had Ken Berry. Ken Berry? On the show.

We had Asner. And Larry Storch. Asner, I know Asner. Larry Storch. We had Ken Berry. Ken Berry? On the show. We had Asner. And Larry Storch. Larry Storch. We had Larry Storch. You've got to go back and check these out. In fact, with Christopher Lee, I remember hearing a recording on the set of some movie where one of the actors gets stabbed in a scene. one of the actors gets stabbed in a scene and Christopher Lee

goes, no, that's not the sound someone makes when they're stabbed. And I went, whoa! Oh, man! But you realize all these guys, you know, they lived through World War II and Christopher Lee was probably around

during the Blitz. Who the fuck knows? I mean, they had lives beyond what we see we see on tv and movies you know they they were three-dimensional some four-dimensional i watched the vietnam war on tv yeah i know what it was like yeah i did a vietnam war movie and i get flashbacks vietnam war movie flashbacks don't talk to me about it you're a Marx Brothers fan. A huge Marx Brothers fan. So quick. Oh, yes. And you listen to the Steve Stoller episode, which we appreciate.

Favorite Marx Brothers movie? I'd say Duck Soup. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, I was talking about this today, that I was such a big fan, and I had all their memorabilia. I mean, I had books, Harpo Speaks. And I finally got the book called The Marx Brothers Scrapbook which was written by Richard J. Anabyle

or Anabyle or whatever and I was I remember being 13 14 at the time and opening it up and hearing or reading Groucho

say the word cunt you know talking about how he wanted to get Marilyn yes that's right you know Chico was

got the clap and my fucking world was rocked. I couldn't believe it. And then again, I realized, okay, yeah, you know, the show business, comedians, of course. You know, they were out of their minds, horny and gambling, and they were human beings. A friend of mine, he introduced me to Maxine Marks. Yeah, I met her a long time ago, too.

Yeah, I met her a long time ago, too. And he said after Maxine died, he was helping clear out the apartment and making sure everything got to her relatives. And he was clearing out a closet and he found... William Hickey. Yeah, he found William Hickey going, hey, can you close the door? I'm trying to nap. And he found two of Chico's pointed hats. No. And one of Harpo's wigs.

Wow. That he said. Incredible. He passed on to her kids, but he, like, obviously was seriously thinking of just pocketing this. It's like finding the sled from Citizen Kane. That's right. We said this off, Mike, but I was really heartened to learn that your two sons

are into this stuff. They're into black and white movies and they listen to old radio like Duffy's Tavern. It still works. Because the kids go crazy for Duffy's Tavern. But I got to tell you,

that stuff worked then and it still works. There's no reason to try to reinvent it. There's so much we can talk about what's wrong in my opinion with current popular media. That it's corporate-owned and all that stuff and the idea is try to make money as fast as you can. So they kind of obviate all the great detail and all the texture that made all these things great.

But many times I – because I listen to classic radio in the car in L.A., we're doing lots of driving, I have to fucking pull over, and so my kids can finish, or we stay in the car after I park, so they can hear the end of Dragnet, because it's compelling. It works. Jack Benny's show works. It absolutely works, and these old movies work. You're raising your kids the right way.

I'm also touching them incorrectly. Inappropriately, but I figure it balances it out. Anything to plug, Steve? Anything to plug, Steve? Before we go? I'm on this show called iZombie, which is on the CW where I play a douchebag. I'm on the show House of Lies, which is on Showtime

where I play a douchebag. And I've been playing douchebags for years now. The shorts that you just made with Tim where he kills you. That's right. It's wonderful. They're funny, yeah. So I want to recommend that. The Daily Show.

The Daily Show. And I also want to recommend your tweets. Well, I've got to tell you, I haven't tweeted for three years. I'm off social media. You're off, huh? I keep it. It was bad for me. There were some good tweets.

I had some fun. Fatty Arbuckle as a gynecologist. Well, I got a lot of good affirmation and I like the 140-character limit because it's like a haiku. It was fun for me to write and I met a lot of cool people. But at the end of the day, it was not good for me because I became addicted to it. Oh, yeah. It was really easy to just fire off stuff. And then I became political and that was a mistake.

And then I began engaging with people. I mean, like hecklers, engaging with hecklers. And I was out of my depth. I mean, you can do that. I could not do it. And it was depressing. You can't get into trouble tweeting. You can't?

No. Oh, no, no. Not me. That's't? No. Oh, no, no. Not me. That's right. No. Luckily, I've always played it safe. Attaboy. There's a lot of sadness behind that laugh.

I didn't even get to ask you about Noam Pitlick when you come next time. Noam Pitlick. Yeah, Noam Pitlick. Noam Pitlick directed. You know that name, Gil? Oh, yes. Sure. Directed many an episode of Wings. Noam Pitlick. Yeah, Noam Pitlick. Noam Pitlick directed. You know that name, Gil? Oh, yes. Sure. Directed many an episode of Wings.

And was an actor himself. Was in The Graduate. He's in The Fortune Cookie. He's in The Fortune Cookie. Now, was he in, oh, God, I think he even pops up in the terrible Night Gallery. He might. Did you ever Night Gallery? Yeah.

Sure, man. I think he's like. Some of those episodes are fucking great I think he's a mortician or something I'm picturing him now but Night Gallery I thought I loved Twilight Zone I thought Night Gallery

when you watch them now they're fucking awful because they were just dated it's the worst of 70s television I like the pilot the Roddy McDowell thing. Yeah, those were good. With the grave. And Ozzie Davis.

And Ozzie Davis. And Spielberg directed the one with Joan Rivers. Joan Crawford. And Tom Lodge. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay, I don't know how much time we have.

Here's a movie that I think could use, could bear to be remade well, is X, The Man With The X-Ray Eyes. Oh yes! And Don Rickles. Don Rickles is right plays his manager. And Dick Miller. And it's really Weber. Dick Miller who we just had on the show. Dick Miller! Classic legend. That was a fun movie. It was good man, where he could see

through the, eventually he went mad because he could see through time itself or something, and he ends up at a revival meeting where Christopher Bernard is there and Bill Hickey is there and they rip his eyes out. That's how it ends. What about the incredible two-headed transplant?

Rosie Greer. Yes. With the animatronic Ray Moland head that just goes, ah. Ray Moland's thinking I won an Oscar for the last weekend. Yeah, like, what happened? But, you know, guess what? You've got to work. You've got to eat.

That's the credo of the actor. You've got to eat. You've got to eat. Not everybody is in the upper 1%, you know, which is why we're all here now. Well, Mr. Gottfried, should we let this man get on with his life? I have so much to do. Many drinks to drink. And you're the voice of the Green his life. I have so much to do. Many drinks to drink. And you're the voice of the Green Goblin.

I was. Oh, yeah. Is that over with? Yeah, that's over. I was the voice of the Green Goblin. That was fun. Right now I'm working on a pilot called Model Woman, which is for ABC, which is loosely based on the life of Eileen Ford. So it's me, Andy McDowell, who's freaking gorgeous, and a bunch of models, a bunch of effortlessly beautiful young people that we get to look at.

That's it. And we never talked about your mom being a Copa. My mom was a Copa girl and a nightclub singer. Jules Poudel. Jules Poudel. Well, I sort of put that into that movie Clubland. But I don't want to talk about me anymore. Let's just go off.

I wish Clubland was available. It's on VHS. It's not available. That's how successful it was. Not a terrible movie by any means. Oh, Alan Alda was nominated. That's right. He's very good in it. Trying to get him here. He doesn't, he's focused on science. Well, I

guess so, you know, and also, guess what? It's, people are getting on. People are, it's hard to travel, I think. Well, actually, I think they live out on the island, he and his wife. In the summers, I think they go out to the Hamptons. Yeah, they got a place here, too. They got a place here. And as far as people getting on, this is a weird thing.

And that's that these – well, first of all, some people are frozen in time. Because the last time you saw them, they were like 20. That's right. So they're frozen. And then you stop and you go, hey, you'll hear someone's like in their 80s. And you go, oh, how could they be? And then you go, oh, wait a second. When I was a kid, I was watching that.

William Shatner, 85 this week. How about that? But he's making more money than he ever did, I suppose. But I have to say that it was really funny. When I grew up, there were still more than remnants. There were still whole bits of the culture that our parents grew up with. I mean every – not a week went by when we didn't hear or see Bob Hope, Jack Benny, here's Sinatra, Milton Berle.

They were always doing specials Bing Crosby for Christ's sake and so the same things that our grandparents were listening to at the turn of the century when they were still around I knew who Rudy Valli was and I was around when he died I went out to LA and Rudy Valli had just died

but the weird thing is that kids nowadays know nothing of that culture, which kind of stopped. It hit a wall and that was it. What I find really weird is growing up listening to the radio and they'd have the top five hits. And it would be the Rolling Stones and Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan and Bing Crosby. It was like this weird mix. Sammy Davis doing the Candyman.

Oh, yes, yes. Along with the Who. With Badfinger. Badfinger. That's good. We had Mark Hudson in that chair last week from the Hudson Brothers. Yeah, I remember the Hudson Brothers. The Hudson Brothers.

Yeah. I feel honored. Well, thanks, Steve. You were a perfect guest. Thanks. Okay. Once again, I do. Well, thanks, Steve. You were a perfect guest. Thanks. Okay. Once again, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.

We once again recorded at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Verderosa. And our guest this week is my old co-star. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! May the burn of happiness... Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Med-seized camel defecate on your keppy. Steven Weber. Great to be here. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Steven. Thank you, guys.