Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 175. Frank Conniff

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

"Push the button, Frank!" Writer, comedian and actor Frank Conniff ("Mystery Science Theater 3000") stops by the studio to share selections from his new book of MST3K-related essays and to weigh in on topics ranging from Superman's Jewish roots to the outsized cinema of Bert I. Gordon to the meta-comedy of ArtMetrano. Also, Jack Webb directs, Pia Zadora meets Kris Kringle, Frank defends Ed Wood and Gilbert hangs with Sid Melton. PLUS: Richard "Jaws" Kiel! The Rip Taylor Trio! "Monster a Go-Go!" Billy Wilder teams with the Marx Brothers!? And the worst musical ever made! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And once again, we're recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is a gifted comedy writer and actor who has written for popular TV shows such as Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Invader Sim, and The Drew Carey Show, and appear in programs like Totally Biased with Camu Bell.

Camel. Camel Bell. Oh, God. I think I fucked up about 12 names so far. Sven Gulli. You got that one. Yeah. Space Hospital and Cinematic Titanic.

He's also had a recurring role in the aforementioned Sabrina the Teenage Witch as the baby-turned-adult Rudy Cazuti. But he's best known to audiences as TV's Frank, the villainous but beloved henchman and lab assistant on the long-running and wildly successful Comedy Central series Mystery Science Fiction Theater. No, no. Mystery Science Theater. Mystery Science Theater. This might take another week.

A show he also wrote for for five seasons. Currently, he's the co-host of the online series and podcast Cartoon Dump. And he performs all over the country with his old MST co-star Tracy Bellew. Close. Trace. Trace Bellew in the Mansour

Back Tour. He can also be heard every day as the co-host of John Fuglesangs, I pronounce that name correctly, tell me everything on Sirius Radio. And his latest books are called Tats V. Conniff and 25 Mystery Science Theater 3000 Films that changed my life in no way whatsoever. Please welcome to the show, an artist of multiple talents and a man frequently compelled for

reasons known only to him to bring up the name Sid Melton, our pal Frank Conniff. Okay, this is in your book, and we have to get this out of the way. Yeah, but we're not going to make him read the title again. No, no. Okay, now you mentioned Sid Melton. Yes. And I've met Sid Melton. Oh, you have?

A couple of times. I've been at his house. Really? Yeah, I played with his dog. He had a house reference in the book. or maybe even his daughter, Marlo Thomas, a feminist icon who smashed through the glass coffee table. That's what you seized upon in the book. Yes, yes.

Now, I'm totally unfamiliar with this, and I need to be educated. Would you please tell us about Danny Thomas and a glass coffee table? Well, I'm only hearing from, you know, who knows if it's true or not. It's just a rumor that Danny Thomas, in his heyday, that Danny Thomas, in his heyday, enjoyed paying women to come to his house or wherever, and he would sit under a glass coffee table, and then they would sit on top of it and delicately put it that they would go to the bathroom. And if that's what he's into, God bless him. You know what? That's fine.

They would drop a dump on the glass. That's all I knew. Cause I always would have thought uncle Tannous would be the one. Now I heard a variation that sometimes Danny Thomas would dress as a priest. Oh really? Yeah. While he did this. We heard this. And I'm a Jew and I'm offended. That's how disgusting.

Why bring a religion into it? It should really just be a personal thing. But you know what, God? He did so much great stuff for St. Jude Hospital, a great humanitarian. Absolutely. If that made him happy, God bless him. Yes. Mazel tov.

Mazel tov, actually. He was a mazel bada. The book is terrific, by the way. We'll plug it again at the end, but I want to say it is an absolute page turner. And for fans of this podcast, you must get Frank's book. Now, one movie you mentioned, a movie, Santa

Claus Conquers the Martians. Right, which unfortunately has a spoiler in the title. You know, it tells you. But that movie, we did that movie on Mystery Science Theater, and we did a whole different riff of it with Cinematic Titanic. But that's a movie I actually saw when it came out in, like, 1963.

You saw it as a kid? As a kid, yes. With Pia Zadora, young Pia Zadora. Young Pia Zadora, who even as a kid I looked at her and I said, she should get a Golden Globe Award one day. You knew. Now, what was her husband's name again? A billionaire.

Was he a sheik of some kind? He was a billionaire or a multimillionaire. And I can't pronounce his name because I'm anti-Semitic. But he, you know, she won a Golden Globe Award like in the 70s or something for most promising newcomer. From the movie Butterfly? Yes. And it was always just conventional wisdom that people thought that he bought it for her, you know. Right.

I'm not going to say that. You know, maybe she was great in Butterfly. I haven't seen it. God bless her. I think he financed every one of her movies. Yeah, he financed all her movies. And, yeah, so she ended up marrying well. But she did start as a child actress who was in Santa Claus Conquest of Martians.

I think in Butterfly, which someone described as the size of stars, both in talent and in physical stature, in Butterfly, she co-stars with Orson Welles. Yes, who he thought the movie was called Butterfly Shrimp. That's why he got on board with it. Let me get the tote board here. Orson Welles was in it, but you know, greatest filmmaker of all time, but if you could meet his quote, you could get him in a movie. Absolutely. And so

Santa Claus does win. Yes. Because I saw this years ago. I don't remember the plot, and I've seen it too. Stay with me. I think the title would pretty much... I used to get it confused with the Christmas that almost wasn't. Yeah, that's a Paul Tripp, which I never saw, but I remember the ads for that when I was a kid.

Paul Tripp, if you grew up in New York, you remember he was the host of Birthday House. That's right. Oh, wow, what a reference, Birthday House. But I never saw his starring vehicle. So the Martians land on the Earth. Yes. They want to destroy the Earth. No, I think they kidnap Santa and take him to Mars is how it works.

Because their kids are all depressed and they want their kids to cheer up. You know, it's some kind of plot like that. kind of plot like that. And one of the big things in it is they all eat pills as food, the Martians. And what was supposed to be a big joke was that you see a Martian, ooh, roast beef, I love it, and he's eating a pill. Ooh, ice cream. I think they thought that was going to be the big comedy moment in the movie. You saw this in the movies as a child.

As a child. How about that? But I had, as I talk about in the book, all I remember is that I saw it. And so that doesn't speak well for it because around the same time, you know, I saw Mary Poppins came out that same year, which I always had vivid memories of. And A Hard Day's Night as well came out around the same time, which had a gigantic influence on me. But Santa Claus Conquers the Martians did not make a big impression on me. What was your theater? You grew up in Manhattan? Yeah, the Lowe's 86th Street, I think. Lowe's 86th. And

there was like a Translux, I think on, there was a Translux that was on Lexington, I think at 85th Street, that would show children's matinees, which I don't even know if they do that anymore. I remember when Manhattan used to have dollar theaters. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, those to me was like perfect. Yeah, and you'd wait for the movie to be out for a while and then you could go see it for a dollar. And so even if it was a total piece of shit, you were okay. You just spend a dollar. What's to complain about?

Now, there's a movie with an interesting title. The Amazing Colossal Man. Yes. The Amazing Colossal Man. Yes. Yes. Yes. Right.

Very interesting. Obviously, they stole it from you. Yes. Clearly. Now, what was the name of that actor who was the amazing? Wasn't it Grant? Something like that. Was it Grant Williams? Might be.

I'm not up on the actor who played him. And remember, they did a sequel. Yeah, War of the Colossal Beast. That's correct. Which we also did on Mystery Science Theater. Which he was like, because in the first one, he falls into the Hoover Dam. Right, right. And then his face is all smashed up, and he comes out as the colossal beast.

Yeah. I like the colossal man. Oh, yeah. You know, for its time, it was like a pretty good gigantic monster movie. It's a good anti-nuke movie, really, in a way. And they wanted to give him a shot at one point, so it was a group of guys carrying a giant hypodermic needle and running toward him. I know it has very absurd things like that that were supposed to be serious. One of the things when we were writing the riff of that movie, the line that just cracked us up was someone said, like a military man said something like, you know,

that was a monster of 50 feet tall. And then Glenn's girlfriend goes, Glenn is 50 feet tall. Bert I. Gordon, by the way, is still around. Oh, he is? We tried to get him on this show. I think we reached out a couple of times. Well, but I told you not to hurry. No rush.

No rush. Was Roger Corman supposed to direct this? I don't know if he is. I think American International might have made it. But Roger Corman did not direct every American International. Just about 750 of them. but not all of them. We had them here. We had them on the show.

Oh, yeah. Bird Eye Gordon specialized. Well, I say his initials meant big. Right, right. And he specialized in just- Or giant or tiny people. Yeah, yeah. Giant or tiny.

Yeah. If you were like regular size, you couldn't get a meeting with him. With that really bad green screen. Yeah. yeah. Giant or tiny. Yeah, if you were like regular size, you couldn't get a meeting with him. With that really bad green screen. Yeah, and you could always kind of see through it. It wasn't that great a special effect, even for its time, it seems like. Yeah, they would show that in both of the Colossal movies, you could see through the monster. Yes, you could. That's not a good sign.

No. Well, I hope Bert I. Gordon is listening because now he's really going to want to come on the show. What I love, too, is when you cover the movie in your book, it quickly devolves into an attack on Chris Christie at a serious Chris Christie film, which I really enjoyed. I have done a lot of very politically astute Chris Christie jokes. Politically astute, crispy jokes. Now, you mentioned a movie that if this is the movie that I saw, it's a favorite of mine. And that's the brain that wouldn't die. Oh, yeah. That is a great one.

Now, as I remember it, there's a head in a plate. In a plate, yes. And by the way, I was just at this sci-fi convention, Dragon Con. Someone did an amazing cosplay of that. She was literally the head on the plate and was being wheeled around. I think you posted that picture. Yeah, I posted a picture. It was just amazing.

Now, is this the one, because if it is, it's one of my favorites, where there's also a big doorway that you hear pounding on during the movie. And then the door swings open and this big monster. I don't think that's the one. That sounds more like the thing to me. No, no, no. The monster resembled the thing. And it definitely had brain in the title. Oh, okay.

Well, they saved Hitler's brain is another famous... Yeah, it wasn't that one. Wasn't there one called Donovan's Brain? Yeah, that was more like on the intelligence side. Okay, yeah. But there was definitely... I think it was this one. Interesting. There was

definitely a monster that breaks through the doorway and, of course, smashes up the laboratory you know i i it's been so long since i've seen the movie that might very well be the case my main memory of that is just the um the actor played by jason evers who did a ton of television worked a lot was a good actor he played the um the scientist who I think there was an accident, and he saved his wife's or his girlfriend's severed head and then tried to hook it up with another body, you know,

because he just wouldn't give up on her. I definitely think there's a monster that breaks through the door. Oh, okay. I believe you. I'm not questioning you. Now, as part of your job when you got hired there at MST, you chose the films. Yes, I did. Because there was – we did a – at first, we all just would casually watch like the first 10 minutes of a movie and go, yeah, this one looks good.

And we did a film called The Side Hackers. And so we picked it. We watched 10 minutes. And then, you know, a month or so later we're writing it and, you know, 20 minutes in, there's like a horrific rape scene in it. And we're like, I don't, we don't really want to do jokes about this, you know? So we actually cut that scene out and then we just decided someone has to, um, watch

the movies in their entirety before we decide to do them. And that job was given to me because I was the only one there who wasn't multi-talented. I just was a comedy writer and a performer and I was good at watching TV, you know, whereas like Trace was designed the sets and Joel designed the sets and Mike Nelson wrote the music. Kevin Murphy actually did the film editing. You know, they all had all these skills. I had none of those skills. So I got to just watch the movies in their entirety. Now, there have been a few horror movies with rape.

Oh, a lot of them, actually. You know. Like we talked about on this show, Humanoids from the Deep. Yeah. We also talked about the rape of Richard Beck. Oh, that's right. With Richard Greta. Not a horror film, but...

It scared me. It's right in the title. But in Humanoids from the Deep, basically these creatures of the Black Lagoon rip-offs come out of the beach and start raping girls.

And then, oh, what was it? Oh, God. What was the one? Damn it. The one where it's, I know it stars Eleanor Powell's son. Jesus. That's, oh, God, which one was this? And it had creatures who came out.

They were monsters that raped a girl and he was the son of them. Oh, okay. Eleanor Powell's son? Eleanor Powell's son. How strange. It was called, that movie was called Born to Rape. Yes. Well, Paul's out there.

Maybe Paul would be kind enough to look that one up for us. He's on it already. Thank you, Paul. What the hell was the name of that? We should have it in about three hours. Yes. The Beast with something. Something Beast.

Really? Not Blood Beast. No, not Blood Beast. But it's got a great transformation scene in it. The humanoids from human resources. Yes. So tell us about getting to MST in the first place, because it's interesting. It is a very, uh, certic, certicuous route, if that's a word.

Because you started as a comic right here. Yeah, I started in New York City, uh, in the early 80s. And you know what? Actually, the very first stand-up comedy show I ever went to see was in the late 80s. No, the late 70s at the Improv in New York. And Gilbert was in that show. And Rick Overton, who ended up years later becoming friends with Mike. Joe Piscopo was in it. I think Rich Schneider might have been the emcee. It was just all these great people. And it took me a while to work up the guts to perform.

And then I did get started, but I had a bit of a drug and alcohol problem back then, as people tend to do in the 80s, some people. As people tend to do in the 80s, some people. And I ended up going to rehab in Minneapolis. Minnesota is very well known for their rehab centers. I never knew this before. It's well known for Mary Tyler Moore and rehab. Oh, really? And Walter Mondale.

And Walter Mondale, yes. And so I, uh, I, I ended up, uh, going there and then I just stayed in Minneapolis because, uh, it's a great town for one thing. And also like, I was like, Oh, I'm going to stay away from New York where I got into all kinds of trouble. I'm going to, so fresh start for me. So I stayed there and there, and you know, and just luckily there was this, as a lot of cities in the, this was the eighties comedy boom, you know, and Minneapolis had an incredible standup comedy scene, um, of not just Joel Hodgson, but Louis Anderson and Jeff Cesario and Liz Winstead and, um, uh, all kinds of great people. Josh Weinstein, who I met, and Trace Bellew,

and all the people that I ended up working with on Mystery Science Theater, I met there. And so I was just this guy doing stand-up comedy in the Midwest, doing one-nighters and stuff. And then my friends started this show on a UHF channel, TV 23 in Minneapolis. And then the Comedy Channel started, which became Comedy Central. And here was a show incredibly cheap to produce that could fill up two hours of programming. So they picked it up on the Comedy Channel and then Comedy Central.

And then in the second season, they were looking for a new writer, and I was just there, and they knew me, and they thought I was funny. They also knew that I was a big film buff and that I was a TV buff, and I knew I had all this obscure stuff in my head, which was perfect for what they were doing. And so it was just incredible luck on my part. I might be the only guy to ever move from New York to the Midwest to get on a TV show, you know. Well, yeah.

I mean, I've heard a lot of showbiz origin stories, but I've never heard one that started with, I went there for rehab. Yeah. And it kicked off my career. Yes, exactly. So if any of you young comics listening, I encourage you to have a severe drug problem. No, I know. Don't do it. Don't do that.

But that's how it worked for me. Now, you also mention a popular film by the great Ed Wood. Yes. Well, I talk about Glen or Glenda in this book, which we didn't do on Mystery Science Theater. We did do, I think, Bride of the Monster. Yeah. Also with Lugosi. Yes, with Lugosi.

And I actually genuinely and unironically and sincerely love Ed Wood as a filmmaker. You do? Yes, absolutely. His films are completely batshit. They're terribly written, terribly directed, terribly acted. But there's this great feeling that comes through in his movies. It seems like a really part of him ends up on the screen. Passionate.

They're made with passion. Yeah, they're made with passion. And Glen or Glenda is an amazing movie. Made with passion. And Glen or Glenda is an amazing movie. It's a film made in the early 50s that pleads for compassion for people with a different kind of sexuality. And I've said for a while, you know, Ed Wood didn't have the talent of an artist. He didn't have the skills of an artist, but he had the soul of an artist.

And I've made fun of his films like crazy, but I genuinely love them. Glenn, Glenda has made the decision. Glenn has decided to tell Barbara of his dual personality. To tell her of the nighties and negligees, the sweaters and skirts, the robes and dresses, the stockings and the high-heeled shoes, the wig and the makeup, all that goes to make Glenn into Glenda. He tells Barbara he cannot cheat her of the knowledge that she, as his fiancee, should possess all the facts.

He tells her softly, hurriedly at first, then slowly as he becomes more technical. His hands move to caress the smooth material of her Angora sweater, which he has so long and so desperately wanted to put on his own body. You should talk to Bob Burns.

Talk to Bob Burns? No, no. Bob's around. He was on our show and he was a friend of Ed to Bob Burns? No, no. Bob's around. He was on our show, and he was a friend of Ed's. Oh, oh, cool, cool. We'll connect you guys. Oh, great. You should talk to him. Because I think Bride of the Monster was originally going to be called Bride of the Atom.

That's right. That's right. Yeah. And it's also got the great Tor Johnson. Yes, Tor Johnson is also in Plan 9. And and is also in Beast of Yucca Flats. Oh, yeah. Which was made by, I think, the filmmaker that we really discovered on Mystery Science Theater, which is Coleman Francis, who, believe me, if you think Ed Wood is the worst director ever made,

he doesn't hold a candle to Coleman Francis, you know. Who's the guy that made The Creeping Terror? Oh, that guy. I forget his name, but you know what? Oh, wait. We might have an answer on this. This might be the first time Paul came up with something. You want a drum roll?

We're already in trouble. So Peter Ford. Maybe. That's who you're talking about. Peter Ford would be Eleanor Powell's son? Yes. And I'm not sure which movie, though. It's Beast, I think, is in the title.

The Proud and the Damned. No. Fate is the Hunter. No. Cades County. No. Punch and Jody. No.

The Little Prince. No, it's not The Little Prince. No. What about that? Well, damn it. I thought I had it. Oh, God. It's not that. All right. We'll get it before we get off. No. Not that. Well, damn it. I thought I had it. Oh, God. It's not that.

All right. We'll get it before we get off. Back to the worst. Back to the salt mine. When this airs, a million angry listeners will cry out in unison. How could you forget the title of that one? Okay. Here, I buried the lead.

One of the other movies that they did on Mystery Science Theater, and you're going to love this, I think in season two or three, in your early days, was The Indestructible Man. Oh, wow. Lon Chaney Jr., which I think was the earliest horror movie I remember watching. Oh, really? Yeah. You know, my earliest memory, it's almost my earliest film memory, is The Incredible Shrinking Man. Oh, yes. When I was a little kid, and I really think that that movie was the one that just made me interested in movies in general.

Yeah. And also in Indestructible Man is Max Showalter. Oh, right. Who's also known as Casey Adams. Yes, yes. He's come up a lot on this show. He's in Catalina Caper. And I think every Jerry Lewis movie maybe, you know.

He's in a lot of them. And he was in How to Murder Your Wife. Yeah, yeah. And if I'm not mistaken, oh, oh, the inspector from the Superman series. Robert Shane? Yes. Robert Shane. I think Robert Shane.

Robert Shane and Joe Flynn. Joe Flynn. From McHale's Navy. They're both in the same film. And I have a very vague memory of that movie, but I do remember, and I think we did a riff that, you know, Inspector Henderson and Captain Beamtom working together. Yeah. They're the mad scientists.

Yeah. Yeah. That was, I remember, that's what makes me remember that movie is seeing those two, Robert Shane and Joe Flynn. Well,bert has a great affection for lon chaney jr do you share it yeah yeah i love lon chaney jr and if i'm not mistaken was the girl in it barbara payton you're probably right i mean it's so long ago i don't remember because there was one actress are we still talking Indestructible Man? Yes. Okay. Yes. I thought you'd gone to another rape movie. Because there was this girl back then, very pretty blonde, whose career fell apart.

I think she fell into some kind of weird triangle thing with the guy from Detour. Okay. The star of the movie Detour. Oh, I love that movie. Edgar Homer. So it was him and, oh, God, what was his name? It's like a foreign name. He was like a romantic lead.

Oh, I'm forgetting every fucking thing. That's okay. We'll get Paul in here again. Yeah, I'm forgetting every fucking thing. That's okay. We'll get Paul in here again. Yeah, there was a triangle. Oh, okay. Oh, Frenchette Tone. Oh, sure, sure. So the guy from Detour beat up Frenchette Tone.

Oh, wow. Who was much older than him. Because Barbara Payton was fucking both of them. And Frenchette Tone was married to Joan Crawford at one point. Oh, that's right. And I think Barbara Payton then wound up being a hooker. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's a shame. His story's all in with sadness. And I think she used to like to shit on glass cups. All right. Well, you know, at least there was work for her while Danny Thomas was around. Why don't you go over to Joe Flynn's house? You sure it wasn't Sid Melton's house? How did you go from being, you were hired as a writer and you basically had to, did

you do some set construction too? I did. I did. Everyone had to work on the new set and, but, uh, but, and all the other guys, um, on the show grew up in the Midwest. They grew up around, uh, garages and power tools. And I was, you know, I grew up in Manhattan. The closest thing to a power tool that my dad had was a martini mixer. And, uh, um, so I was really terrible at building the set. And it was weird.

You know, it was my very first job in television. It was really my first show business job that wasn't just being a stand-up comedy middle act. Sure. And, you know, the first day when we weren't building the set anymore, when we were just sitting down to write the film, I was like, is this actually going to be the job now? Because up to then it was like some shitty day job. Don't go away. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. Hey, podcast listeners, here's a question for you.

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Well, you are an A-list industry pro, even though you don't teach. Yes. At the Harold Ramis Film School. But I met Harold Ramis once. Do tell. Yeah. He came to Caroline's. Did he like you?

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On the next Gilbert and Frank's Colossal Obsessions And the director is one of those guys Real macho And in between everything They're showing scenes of like You know, ten guys being shot down A guy crashing through a window.

A girl like opening up her blouse. Another guy being machine gunned off the roof of a building. And then a guy and girl falling into a pool naked and all this. pool naked and all this. And they're going, Mark Hamill, Mark Singer, Gilbert Gottfried. So hilarious. It was like, you think, wow, this Gilbert Gottfried used to be an action hero. That's hilarious. They're taking you right out of it. our legendary lineup of summer must-tries from the PC Insiders Report Summer Edition.

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The Cyclops? Yeah. We did not have The Cyclops on that. Because a lot of the movies we would have liked to have had, but for one reason or another, we couldn't get the rights to them. That one had Lon Chaney Jr. Uh-huh. And the voice of The Cyclops was Paul Freese. That's right. Paul Freese gets a mention in that book.

Paul Freese actually wrote and directed a movie that we did called The Beatniks. Wow. And it's not a very good movie, but, yeah, it's a low-budget film. And there really aren't any Beatniks in it either. And someone tweeted me and said that Paul Fre Free's son is a working voiceover. Oh, is he really? That's interesting. Yeah.

Well, maybe Rob knows him. We'll have to ask him. There are some movies that are just— Certainly not going to ask Paul. There are some movies that are just entirely Paul Free's voice doing every, you know, character. You know, they still use his voice down at the Haunted Mansion. Oh, do they really? Yeah, he was amazing.

Which is weird. Yeah. So how did you go from being the writer and the guy doing a little bit of set design to TV's beloved Frank? And then tell me the origin of the spit girl. Tell me where that came from. There was a guy before me who worked there, J. Elvis Weinstein, who's a hilarious, brilliant guy. And he was a teenager at the time, and he was the mad scientist sidekick

for the first two seasons. And then he left the show and he moved to L.A., and that's how I got hired. But I was hired as a writer. I don't think it was a fait accompli that I was going to be, uh, get to be in the cast, but they, they tested me and apparently the camera loved me. What can I tell you? So, so, so I ended up just, uh, just getting that part. Um, but I really, I really was hired as a writer, and I, you know, in every—I've done a few shows where I performed as well as wrote, but I always just really consider myself a writer

on a show. Where'd the spit curl come from? Was that a Jor-El thing? Was that just— I don't know. I think it was just the makeup woman at the time just threw that in, and everybody liked it. You know, I think they were just looking for something.

They had my hair straight up and in a spit curl. Because it was a Jor-El look. It was. A lot of people have compared me to Jor-El. Now, here's something interesting that I really—I mean, look. Superman was invented by two Jews. Exactly. Correct.

Superman was invented by two Jews. Exactly. Correct. Yeah. And if you look at, you know, if you Jewish folklore and Jewish prayer, the names have an L at the end of them. How interesting. And so in Super League. Yeah. Kal-El, Jor-El.

Yeah. I never made that connection. Yeah. It's-El, Kal-El, L-L. Yeah, Kal-El, Jor-El. Yeah. I never made that connection. Yeah. That's interesting. So the names have an L. That is interesting, and it makes complete sense. And I remember one time hearing, I think it was Paul Schaefer was playing some Jewish prayer music, and it sounded in parts like the Munsters.

Well, we're going to ask Paul about that. The Munsters was a mixed family, though. Oh, yes. Yeah, they had the one pretty girl. Where did Push the Button come from? That actually, you know what that's... Tell me it's from The Great Race. It is from The Great Race.

I'm so glad to know that. Absolutely, and the relationship between Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk in that movie is very much like what Trace and I really had a relationship. That's where Push the Button Frank came from. Absolutely. We've talked about that movie on this show. Yeah. Not an entirely successful movie, but boy, it's fun. At the time when it came out, it wasn't a big hit, and it was like a big budget hit.

But I remember I liked it when it came out, but I was a much bigger fan of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. And the Russians are coming. Oh, we've talked about those. Yeah.

Yeah. At length. Now tell us about a movie all of us have seen, Eegah. Eegah is, I think I go into the, this is like a really kind of convoluted in terms of references or whatever. But Eegah was made by Arch Hall. Arch Hall. Who starred his son, Arch Hall Jr., got the lead in the movie.

And Richard Keel, who we all know from the James Bond movies, and who I met at a convention one time, incredibly nice guy. But this is something I never even realized until recently, is that Jack Webb, who I love, I'm obsessed with Dragnet, I'm obsessed with Jack Webb, all of his movies, everything he did, I'm obsessed with it. obsessed with Dragnet. I'm obsessed with Jack Webb, all of his movies, everything he did, I'm obsessed with it. He directed a movie in the fifties called The Last Time I Saw Archie, which was written by a screenwriter named William Bowers. And Robert Mitchum played Archie Hall in the movie. And it was, it was about, it was the real-life story of Arch Hall when he was in the Army with William, Jack Webb's character's name, William Bowers.

I mean, he didn't change any names or anything. And I had all this involvement with EGAR and Arch Hall. And all these years later, I found out that the last time I saw Archie is literally about Arch Hall Sr. How bizarre. I know, I know. I've never seen Arch Hall Sr. How bizarre. I know. I know. I've never seen Eegah. Have you seen that, Gilbert?

No. Okay. No. What about the one with the typo in the title? Oh, my. Attack of the Eye Creatures. Yes. Tell us about the Attack of the Eye Creatures.

Tell us that title again. I've seen movies that are bad. This movie, you know right from the start that it's not going to be a good movie because there's a typo in the title. It says attack of, and then underneath that, the eye creatures. So it's attack

of the eye creatures. And it also has I think... Well, stuttering can be very frightening. It was... Mel Tillis did a rewrite on it. Mel Tillis. A reference. Bless your heart.

And also, it's a movie that has, if memory serves, it has alien creatures who are wearing sneakers. And those are the eye creatures? Yes, those are the eye creatures yes those are the eye creatures and we actually did a one of my favorite sketches that we did we did during that movie and it was um the the rip taylor trio which was joel and the two robots all dressed up as rip taylor all doing prop eye bits you know based around eyes it was one of my favorite sketches that we ever did. I remember Rocket. What's the one with Art Metrano?

Rocket Attack USA? Rocket Attack USA. I remember that on the show. Yeah, yeah. And that one also turns up in the book. Yeah. And Art Metrano. Still around.

Still around. Wow. Have you guys had him on? We want to. He's on our list. We don't want to rush it. Wow. Have you guys had him on? We want to. He's on our list.

We don't want to rush it. Art Metrano, in the world of comedy, he's kind of important in that he did one of the very first meta comedy bits about comedy. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. He was doing that on TV. I would see him do that on TV all the time. I was doing that on TV. I would see him do that on TV all the time. Right around the same time, Albert Brooks was doing the bad ventriloquist bit, which that stuff was very new at the time.

You didn't see a lot of that on TV. Let me ask you about some of these other ones. Time of the Apes. Time of the Apes was a Japanese ripoff of Planet of the Apes. Right. Blatant ripoff. The apes look just like the ones in Planet of the Apes. Right. Blatant ripoff. The apes look just like the ones in Planet of the Apes. Have you seen that one, Gil?

No. Time of the Apes. There's films in that book you haven't seen. Yes. It shocks me. What I love is in that one, in the book, in the chapter, you go into, you start making references to Lancelot Link, Sigrid Schentz. And you have Monster a Go-Go.

Monster a Go-Go, yes. I've seen that one. Yeah. That one is a hard one to watch, even though it has the title of Go-Go in it. It's from the title. It looks like so intelligent. I know. Tell Gil about Daddy-O with the immortal Dick Contino.

Dick Contino. Which is notable because it's John Williams' first film score. Oh, that? I didn't even know that. Wow. The debut score of John Williams. Maybe I knew that before, but I forgot. That's amazing.

Was he an accordion player, Dick Contino? Dick Contino was an accordion player and an entertainer from that era. But I don't think he plays accordion in the movie, although I might be wrong about that. But he's just like a young, like, hipster hoodlum guy. He wears his pants very high in the movie. And the thing about Dick Contino is there's a James Elroy novella called Dick Contino's Blues, where Dick Contino is the main character in the book. Love that. blues where Dick Contino is the main character in the book. And it's in one of James O'Roy's books that are like four novellas. I forget the name of the book. And I think he might have gotten

in trouble with the mob and stuff. And he's one of those guys that I think some people thought was going to have a promising career and then it didn't pan out. But he always worked. I remember he came through Minneapolis. I regret that I didn't pan out. But he always worked. I remember he came through Minneapolis. I regret that I didn't go see him. And he had like an accordion act where he sang. And I think he played like UHF. I looked him up. He just died a few years ago. Yeah, he did.

He died just recently. Did you ever hear of Dick Contino? Oh, yes. You did? Yes. Yeah. Dick Contino. I've heard of him.

We had the guy, Anthony Ferrante, who directed the Sharknado movies. Oh, really? And he told us he thinks he's a direct descendant of Ferrante, of Ferrante and Teicher. Uh-huh. Isn't that cool? Wow, yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. The shit you find out on this show, Frank.

I know. Ding, ding. So you did the show from episode 201 to episode 624. Yeah, I think I did a little over 100 episodes. And one of the creatures on it is a gumball machine, is it not? Yes, Tom Servo, one of the robots, is a gumball machine. And Crow T. Robot is kind of a lacrosse thing turned into a robot, kind of. Go ahead.

Oh, no. The Day the Earth Froze. Right. Oh, that's another one. That's actually one of the better movies that we did because it's like some Swedish film. It looks like Ingmar Bergman did a sci-fi movie or something, you know. And it actually has kind of a good budget and some clever things in it. I think it kind of pushes the ceiling of was it quite bad enough.

I think it was bad enough, but it kind of towed that line a little bit. Right, right, right. You were picking the films the entire time you were there? Well, I would pick them and recommend them to the rest of the crew, and then we decide on it. And what happened to Frank when you left the show? You went to second banana heaven. I did. That was the last episode.

I ascended, and I think I was—I don't remember. I think you can see me. I could see Gabby Hayes like up in the mist. I think there's a Pat Buttram reference. A Pat Buttram reference, yeah. I can't believe I won't be able to kill you anymore. Don't worry, Clay, because somewhere deep inside your soul, you'll always be killing me. And remember this, my sentimental friend.

Even though I will forever be in your heart, till the end of your days, you'll be a profoundly lonely man. Thank you, Frank. That's very kind of you. And just let me say this to anyone out there who's working for an abusive boss. Do not despair. Never let him crush your spirit even if he's already crushed your skull always be yourself and wave your freak flag high geez it must be horrible to work for a boss like that frank could i ask you one thing before you go? Sure. Could you push the button, Frank?

Watch me rock. And then there were a lot more incarnations. I mean, there was Cinematic Titanic. Yeah. Even after you left MST. Well, after we left, and then, you know, I worked on a lot of other shows. I worked on Sabrina and the Teenage Witch. That's right.

You were Rudy Cazuti. I was Rudy Cazuti. I actually spent my 40th birthday on the set of Sabrina and the Teenage Witch sitting in a crib wearing a onesie. At that moment, I knew that in some ways I was a descendant of Joe Besser, wearing children's clothing as an adult. Your 40th birthday. Yes, exactly. Yeah. And then you did Invader Zim. I did Invader Zim. I did the Drew Carey show. I did the Tom Green show. Right, right. And, yeah, and then a few years, like about 10 years ago, Joel and Trace and I were hanging out,

and we were just talking about how we missed doing, you know, Joel for years. He didn't have the rights. He got the rights back, which is why there's a reboot now. But he didn't have the rights. He got the rights back, which is why there's a reboot now, but he didn't have the rights to do it. And so we just like put together a new thing that wasn't Mystery Science Theater, but was an opportunity for us to riff on movies. And then we discovered that, because we only did like two live shows the whole time Mystery Science Theater was on. And then we discovered the one thing better than doing Mystery Science Theater is doing it live, you know, in front of an audience, doing movie riffing live.

And so we did that for like five years. And then Joel didn't want to do it anymore, so it broke up. And then a couple years ago, Trace and I just started doing it as a duo. And now you're doing it. You're touring as the Mads. We're touring, and we're getting a lot of work. We're doing a lot of Alamo draft houses around the country and a lot of movie theaters. And it's just a blast.

It's so much fun. You come from a strange childhood. Yeah, that's one way to describe it. I grew up in Manhattan and I actually grew up sort of around show business because my dad was a journalist. My dad, Phil Silvers, was at my dad's wedding, at my parents' wedding. My dad was really good friends with Phil Silvers and Jackie Gleason. And he used to hang out. My dad used to hang out at a place called Tootshores. Of course. And which is where he became really good friends with Jackie Gleason. And also I wasn't there. My brother

Tony was there one time and met Joey Lewis there. Wow. Which didn't happen to me. But so I kind of, my dad was a journalist. He wrote a column for the Journal American in New York, and he was an editor for Hearst newspapers. So he wrote a lot about politics and world affairs. But he also was very interested in sports and just had a lot of friends from the worlds of journalism and sports and show business. And so he was an alcoholic, you're calling alcoholic. My dad, yes, he was. He, you know, an alcoholic and a workaholic. And he just kind of drove himself to an early grave.

You know, he died, I think, in 1971 at the age of 57, which is really way too soon. And your mother was like a manic depressive. She was, she was, she had, um, she suffered from mental illness throughout my childhood. She was in and out of, um, um, hospitals. She had shock treatments. Um, she had a really rough time of it, you know, but, uh, eventually she, she recovered and, uh, and came out of all that. And the last twenty five years of her life were great. You know, she only had a little bit of that lingering stuff, but mostly like led a very productive life. That's an unexpected happy ending. Yeah. Yeah. She really, you know, my yeah, she was.

I think I even mentioned the book that my mom was pretty badass. I think I even mentioned in the book that my mom was pretty badass. You know, she came from that traditional, you know, she married my dad in 1951. And all a woman was supposed to do then was get married and have children. She had five kids before she was 30. And then, you know, my dad got really sick. And it was just all very overwhelming to her. And she had some chemical issues, I think, inherited from her family of depression and stuff.

And so she went through hell, but she came out on the other side. So it's kind of amazing. That's a nice ending. Yes, yes, absolutely. And you were destined to go into comedy, just hearing this. Yeah. Some people have seen me waiting for me to go into comedy. You fantasized, and one of the ways you escaped was by fantasizing that you were on the Dean Martin show? Oh, yeah.

I used to fantasize about, like, just being in show business and being a comedian. But the weird thing is then finally when, you know, in the 70s when I was old enough to start doing that, I had a lot of fear. And when I went to see you, Gilbert, in that show at the Improv, which was my first ever stand-up show that I went to see, it all, I so wanted to be a part of it, but it all, it seemed like such a, you know, so far away, something really hard to attain. And, you know, I had a lot of fears or whatever. But my first open mic was at that Improv, the Sunday night, I believe it know, I had a lot of fears or whatever. And, and, but my first open mic was

at that improv the Sunday night, I believe it was at the New York improv. What was your act like in those days? Um, not that good. And also, you know what I, you know, my first joke, and this will just give you an idea of how self-destructive I was in some ways. I think my first joke was I just announced that Frank Sinatra had died. This was long before he had died. And that they were going to be holding his funeral. But before his funeral, they'll be having Pat Henry's funeral. Because Pat Henry was the worst.

So that wasn't the kind of thing that was going to get me. So it took me a while to figure out how to entertain an audience. That's an inside joke, pretty inside baseball. Should we explain that to our listeners? Yeah, Pat Henry was a comedian who used to always open for Frank Sinatra. I updated it and made it Tom Dreesen. No, I'm kidding. I never did it again.

Yes, he was the other one. That's right, Tom Dreesen. What was this game kidding. I never did it again. Yes, he was the other one. What was this game show your dad was on with Groucho and Karloff? Well, I don't know if he was on at the same time with Groucho and Karloff. He might have been, but most of those there's only like one existing tape I know. There's a show

called In the New... Was it called Who Said That? Who Said That, yes. And there is a tape that you can... Someone, I didn't, in the new, uh, was it called who said, who said that? Yes. And there is a tape that you can, someone, I didn't even know about it. Someone, some nice fan sent it to me. And it was amazing to me as someone who in my childhood, my father was, um, a very distant figure. He was, um, before he got sick, he was just always away going all over the world, you know, as a reporter covering stories. And then he got sick. So I didn't even really have great memories of like what my dad sounded like of talking to him. So to see him on an old TV show like this and to see him

talking as a healthy person was kind of an amazing experience. But this tape, like I said, anyone can see it. And I don't know if it'll be compelling to you unless you're related to someone on the panel. But the panel is really fascinating to me. It's my dad and it's Deems Taylor, who was a musician and music critic, a friend of George Gershwin, also involved with Fantasia, I think. And there's actually a big music world called the Deems Taylor Award that's named after him.

And then the other guy is this guy, something cattle born, who was a famous commentator at the time, Harry Truman. There's a clip, a famous speech Harry Truman made after he beat Dewey in the 1948 election where he does an imitation of this guy announcing that Dewey had won the election. And he's also in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington as himself. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think I know who you're talking about. H.L. Kettleborn. Keltonborn. Kel. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think I know who you're talking about. Yeah.

H.L. Kaltenborn. Kaltenborn. Kaltenborn, yeah. And then the fourth person on the panel is Dagmar. Wow. How about that, Gil? Yeah. Remember Dagmar? Oh, yes.

Who's the only one there who really, like, understands, like, this is TV, you know, because everyone else, and you watch the show, it's so slow-paced. There's only one episode that you could track down? That I've seen. Did you try the Paley Center? Yeah. Years ago, I looked at the Paley Center. I don't know if they'd have more stuff now.

But so, yeah, my dad did a lot of those kind of quiz and panel shows in the 50s. He was on, the only other time I saw a clip of my dad was on some documentary. There was a clip of him on Meet the Press being one of the reporters. Very cool. Asking questions. And also I have a memory of when I was a little kid in the middle of the afternoon. They stopped the class. They rolled a television in and we all watched my dad on the Art Linkletter show.

That's very cool. Yeah. Frank Conniff Sr. You didn't say your dad's name. Yes, or Frank Kniff is actually the proper pronunciation, but I changed it. And are you really Philip Seymour Hoffman? I've been asked that many times before, especially since he died, because I look like him more than ever now. I have gotten that.

Unfortunately, he didn't live to play me in my life story. So dad pronounced it like Milton Kniff. Milton Kniff. Yeah, although Milton Kniff spelled it differently. Right, and then you changed it to Connie. Now, I'm going fucking crazy here. Paul, it was in a southern town. Okay.

There's a very long. What, what, what, what, what? No, that's not for you. That's for me. I got it. Yeah, I remember that. It was in a southern town, a very long transformation scene. Do we have the actor right?

Are you sure it was Eleanor Powell's son? I'm pretty sure. Unless, unless that was really. Well, Peter Ford's son with Glenn. Yeah. Oh, and that's why he's in Cades County. He's in Cades County and Fate is the Hunter. Because I looked through all.

He did 18. Why don't you go to Peter Ford's IMDb page and see what you come up with? No horror films? But maybe she had another son. I think that could be it. So go to her Wikipedia page and see if she had another son. I think it had the word beast in it. You're sure it's not Jane Powell's son?

No. Is it like the beast from Fifty Fathoms or something like that? No, no, no. And there was an actor in it, an old character actor, like R.J. something. R.J. Armstrong? Oh, that could be. Who was it? That could be.

R.J. Armstrong, who played Pruneface in Dick Tracy? I think so. I think he was in this. You know that actor. Yeah, sure, sure. Eastwood used him. Look that up. Okay.

We're on it, folks. I'm going to ask you about some of the movies that Gilbert has recommended on this very podcast. Yeah, okay. Starting with Zombie Holocaust or Dr. Butcher MD. You familiar with it? I don't think I'm familiar with it. Or did we do? We did Zombie Nightmare, I think, with Adam West.

Okay. Yeah, this was one of the Guinea productions. This was an Italian production, as he likes to point out. They also made Zombie. This was an Italian production, as he likes to point out. They also made Zombie. And then I remember what's so funny about it was the producer was something like Mike Jones. And then you see his real name, and it's like 10 pages long in Italian. That's a lot of vowels.

Yes. It's like 10 pages long in Italian. That's a lot of vowels. Yes. What I heard about zombie holocaust was we must never let this happen again. Okay, well, here's one we all know and love, but we love your take on it. And Gilbert is obsessed with this one, the Tingler. Oh, the Tingler. Funny you should mention it.

Traceable, you and I are now doing it in our live show. Oh, wonderful. Yeah, we've just started it, and it is kind of borderline good. And I know that a lot of kids who saw it when it came out were very scared by it, but the Tingler is basically like a lobster shell or something. It's really weird. It's like a centipede or something. Really cheaply done.

Yeah, and it's William Castle, you know, who was the king of gimmicks. But we don't have, like, the shock seats or anything like that. But it's a very enjoyable film. It is. It is. And Vincent Price is great in it, you know. Give him a little bit, Gil. Scream.

Scream for your lives. The tingler it's loose in the theater. Scream, scream. And then he says, we now return to the movie. It's really weird. And it's all, the screen

goes completely dark at that point, you know. What do you got, Paul? Now, before I tell you what I have, you have to work a deal. Okay. If I got this right, and this is the one, then I get a little boost. A little respect. Just tell us the fucking title. You're asking for too much.

1982, The Beast Within. The Beast Within. The Beast Within, yes. Driving near a small Mississippi town in 1964, newlyweds Eli, Ronnie Cox, and Caroline Beasley. That was a porn film. And Eli goes off to look for help. That's right. Ronnie Cox was in it.

By a horrible creature. This is the one. How'd you find it? Probably through that character. Did you go through R.G. Armstrong? Yeah, R.G. Armstrong. Hey, Gil, we teamed up on that one. Hey! Nice work, Paul. Take the go through R.G. Armstrong? Yeah, R.G. Armstrong. Hey, Gil, we teamed up on that. Hey!

Nice work, Paul. Take the rest of the month off. I had forgot about Ronnie Cox. Yeah, we got to get Ronnie Cox on this show. Yeah, he was in Beverly Hills Cop 2. He's always good. You bet. I'm outside if you need me. Thank you, pal.

We'll come back to you. We won't need you. We came through. Okay, here's another Gilbert one. The Seven Faces of Dr. Lau. That's actually a really good movie. With Tony Randall. I haven't seen it in a long time. But Tony Randall,

you know, if you're going to cast an Asian part, Tony Randall is the one to go to. And one of the Morlocks from The Time Machine because it was made by the same guys. George Powell. So one of the

Morlocks pops up in Dr. Lyle. You gotta talk to our friend Bob Burns because not only was he friends with Ed Wood, he was friends with George Powell and he wired some of the seats for showing up for Tingler. Does he have like a warehouse? I have met him. He's the movie collector.

I've been to his warehouse and I have met him. Okay, because you guys are kindred spirits. And he got a hug from Lon Chaney Jr. You bet. He knew Glenn Strange very well. That's amazing. And Will Sobrian. He looked upon Glenn Strange

as like a father figure. Really? Here's a couple more Gilbert classics from this show. Do you know Act of Violence? Is that with William Shatner? No, no, no. Is that? I think Van Heflin.

It's the one with Van Heflin. Oh, Van Heflin. And Robert Ryan. Oh, okay. You know what? I haven't seen that. It was on Turner Classic Movies one time, but I didn't get to watch it. How about Alone in the Dark?

With Martin, I believe Martin Landau? Martin Landau, Donald Pleasence, and oh, there's another famous actor. Oh, fuck. I can't believe we have to talk to Paul again. Was that in the 70s? Yes. Yeah, Martin Landau did a lot of those kind of. Sure, without warning.

He had kind of a, you know, like a bit of a wilderness period in his career. That was a fun movie. He plays Fred Dobbs in one of them, which I always love because it's a treasure to see. Oh, Humphrey and Rodger, yeah. And yeah, there was there was those two Donald Pleasance and and Robert Ryan, not Robert Ryan, Donald Pleasance and Martin Landau. We'll get Paul on that one. And what about the incident, which is the one set in New York City? Oh, you know what? I was just talking about that movie. I forget in what context because I have seen that movie, and you might think I'm joking when I say this.

It actually has a really good dramatic performance from Ed McMahon. I was just going to say. Yes, yes. He's very good in it. And Martin Sheen is one of the – He's one of the hoods, right? No, Martin Sheen is like – is he one of the hoods? He's one of the hoods. He was in Estevez then.

Tony Musante. Bo Bridges is a guy out of the Navy. Is the Ian Peters in there too? Yeah, Brock Peters, Mike Kellen. Yep. Oh, God. It's a terrific film, and it's like it should get more recognition. It was an independently made film, almost entirely taking place on a subway.

Yeah. Low budget. And and like I said, it's it's Ed McMahon's best dramatic performance. Well, we love films set in New York at that time. Yeah. You get to see all the old and it's a whole different New York. It is. But, you know, it's interesting because when I moved to L.A., I became fascinated with seeing old shots of L.A. But most L.A. most movies made in L.A., you know, they're either done on studios or they're done in the valley. There's not a lot of stuff at like familiar locations. So many times I'll watch a movie and I'll recognize it as the soundstage. Yes.

You've been on. Right, right, right, right. Actually, in the Tingler, they have this, they didn't pay for any extras in the Tingler. Yeah. So there's these back lot shots of buildings and stuff, and there's literally nobody around except Vincent Price and whoever else is in the scene. Last Gilbert film is After the Fox. I love After the Fox.

There you go. With Peter Sellers, right? Not very known. Neil Simon's first screenplay, I think. And Victorio De Sica directed it. Yeah, directed it. It's very funny. I always thought it was funny. And also a great Burt Bacharach score, too.

Correct. Oh, terrific. Yeah, that's a movie that's not that well known. Who is the fox? I am the fox. Who are you? I am me. Who is me?

I am a thief. You caused your poor, poor mother grief. Oh, after the fox, after the fox, into the hunt with chains and locks. Oh, after the fox, after the fox, somebody's always chasing after the fox. Wow. You sang that with Robert Wool. Yes. Great. And I knew the Burt Bacharach melody, but you knew the Hal David lyrics. He surprises us every week. And there was another movie as far as a New York film. Of course, a name that's popped up on this show a billion times as the great New York director, Sidney Lumet. Right.

And that was Bye Bye Braverman. Bye Bye Braverman with George Segal, right? You bet. Right. And that was Bye Bye Braverman. Bye Bye Braverman with George Segal, right? You bet. Yeah. And Sorrel Book. Sorrel Book. And wasn't it written by Herb Gardner? It might be. Who ended up being the head writer of Saturday Night Live. Oh, Herb Sargent. Herb Sargent.

Right, Herb Sargent. And it also had the only Jewish Bond villain. Who is? That was Dr. No. Oh, Joseph Wiseman. Yeah. Very good.

Who's in a lot of those kind of gritty. He's really good in the movie Detective Story. Oh, yes. With Lee Grant and Kirk Douglas. He plays like a kind of crazy criminal in it. Yep, yep, yep. Speaking of Bacharach, one of the things you mention in your book,

and God bless you for this, is Lost Horizon. Oh, yeah. The thing that split up Bacharach and David. It ended. I think the point I make in that movie is that some movies are just bad, but this was a bad movie

that had a really awful consequence to it and that it split up Burt Bacharach and Hal David, who I think one of the greatest pop songwriting teams ever. And I actually saw it in a theater when it came out, and it was just embarrassing, you know. We were talking about bad musicals on this show, and that's one we never got to. Oh, that's right.

Have you seen it? The remake? Yes. The musical remake of Capra's Lost Horizon? And I forget. Absolutely wretched. Peter Finch singing. Some of Liz Ullman's best singing.

Liz Ullman, John Gielgud. Yeah. Oh, God. John Gielgud doing Yellowface, pretty much. Yeah, it's just. There was a song they played in the commercial. Bobby Vann. Bobby Vann. Wow. He does a lot of bouncing. He's in it. Yeah, it's just There was a song they played in the commercial. Bobby Van. Bobby Van. He does a lot of bouncing. Yeah, I feel bad because

I really like Bobby Van. Me too. I feel bad that he, you know, once that film was wrapped, he was like... Now, there's a movie, I wondered if you'd had it on the show, that of all people, I mean, when you see the makeup and special effects in this, you'd say that this guy, whoever did this, you know, became, worked in a grocery store afterwards.

And it turned out to be Rick Baker. Oh, really? Rick Baker in Octoman. Oh, really? The great Rick Baker in Octo Man. Oh, Octo Man. I haven't seen that in a while, but I'm glad Rick Baker's career recovered. He did okay. Oh, my God, did he ever. He did okay for himself.

I want Rick Baker on this show. Oh, that would be amazing. Get him on here for us. Oh, yeah. They're buds. Because he, what an amazing makeup man. Yeah. Here's a question quickly from one of our fans. We do a thing called Grill the Guest, and

you're being grilled by Luke Sienkowski, who would like to be referred to as the Great Luke Ski. He says, on Invader Zim, was there a great joke, a killer joke, that you wanted to put into an episode only to have Nickelodeon reject it or take it out? Can you recall one or one moment? I don't have a memory of that because I was,

you know, I was the head writer on the show, but Jonah Vasquez, who created the show, I think he's the one who always had to deal with the, you know, the Nickelodeon executives. And, you know, they would, one thing I loved about Jonah Vasquez is we'd have these meetings with the executives and they would always question the logic of stuff. You know, this isn't logical. This doesn't track. And Jonah always had the same response to everything. Yeah, but it's funny. And I just love that. You know, yeah, but it's funny. And I just love that.

You know, yeah, but it's funny is actually a great thing. Now, did you mention with Lost Horizon? Yeah. Now, I think Lee Volman. She's in it. He just mentioned it. Yes, yes. Yeah.

She was from all the Ingmar Bergman films. It's Peter Finch, Lee Volman, John Gielgud, Bobby Van. I'm trying to remember who else is in the cast. God, what was that song? Oh, God.

Fuck me. I know the song you mean. Is it Bobby Van sings the song? I don't know. There's one song, all of them. The one that Bobby Van sang I think is called

Question Me an Answer. That's it. Question Me an Answer. There's another one. That I don't remember. I don't even think Burt Bacharach would remember. Alright, Paul, come on back in for the songs from Lost Horizon before we wrap it up. You do regret, and I found this in the notes,

occasionally you would regret not getting a film on MST, and one of them was Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. Yes, I was... Sammy Padrillo after Gilbert's own heart here. And one of them was Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn gorilla. Yes, I was. Sammy Padrillo. You're after Gilbert's own heart here. Well, the thing is, is that's not an example of not being able to get the rights to it. That's an example of me suggesting the film and the rest of the staff saying, no, you're wrong.

We shouldn't do that film. I think I think there was some sense that comedies were not the best thing for us to do. I see. You know, but I was so fascinated by Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo that I really wanted to do it. It's so weird because Sammy Petrillo is an absolute freak of nature Jerry Lewis Dupul Ghani. Yeah. And Duke Mitchell

is not really... He's in the general vein of smooth singer. Yeah, like not handsome but passable looking. And they... Like a Tony Martin knockoff. More Tony Martin than Dean. More than a Dean Martin knockoff.

More Tony Martin than Dean Martin. Okay. Very well put. So there were a bunch of bird backrack songs. Question me an answer. Question me an answer. Living together, growing together. Oh, living together, laughing together.

We're living together as days go by. Da, da, da, da. That's the only go-ber it can get. The world is a circle. Oh, the world is a circle. Yeah. A circle jerk. I share the joy. I might frighten her away. The things I will not miss.

No, it's just living together is the one I remember. Yeah. And they're all like dancing out on the beach. I doubt there's anyone on the planet singing numbers from Lost Horizon, the musical, at this moment. But Gilbert Gottfried is. Well, that's the crazy thing about it is the songs are so forgettable. And it was such a flop. And this is Burt Bacharach and Hal David could do no wrong up until this.

Everything they did was hugely popular, hugely successful, and brilliant. And that's what's just so— You and John get some pretty heavy musical guests on your show. We do, in fact. You've had Herb Alpert. Herb Alpert, who was great. We've had Willie Nelson. Didn't get Bacharach.

Have you tried? Oh, I would love to have Burt Bacharach on. We want to try to get him on this show. We feel like it's such a long show. That would be incredible, yeah. And we just had Don Wass yesterday. Yeah, saw that. Produced all those great records.

I once worked with Willie Nelson. Oh, you did? Yeah, on Alice in Wonderland. You never knew that. Yeah, there was like an afternoon TV show of Alice in Wonderland, and she would like, and I remember in this, he's like the troubadour. Uh-huh. And he keeps coming on to sing these songs of what's happening.

Wow. You never told me that. Yeah. We work with Willie Nelson. Yeah. Pretty cool. All right, Frank. Very nice guy.

Your last question is going to be about Pretty cool. All right, Frank. Very nice guy. Your last question is going to be about the Marx Brothers. I know you're a Marx guy like we are. I am. Okay. We've had two Marx Brothers related guests on this show. We've had an author and Steve Stolier. Oh, I've met him. He's a great guy. And a great mimic,

by the way. Are you in the camp that prefers the four Marx Brothers to the three Marx Brothers? Are you a Zeppo? You know what? I would say yes. Only in that I think all of the great Marx Brothers movies, with the exception of A Night at the Opera, are the four Marx Brothers. You know, I mean, Duck Soup is the four Marx Brothers.

Yes. That's my favorite one. Yeah. All the Paramount ones have Zeppo in them and he doesn't make it any less funny. They keep the... And also, I think with Zeppo in the films,

which makes them different from the MGM films, is that the idea that there's a romantic lead in it, which they kind of do with Zeppo, but they don't really take it seriously. You know, like in Monkey Business, he supposedly is having a romance and it's kind of just part of the goofiness. Whereas when Irving Thalberg brought them to MGM, you know, they really took the romance like Alan Jones and Kitty Carlisle.

That's one of the reasons we don't care so much for the MGM film. Yeah, yeah. They overshadowed the Marx's. Yeah, but I think, you know, A Night at the Opera, I think, is brilliant. And I think each subsequent MGM film still has great stuff in it, but they kind of go down in quality a little bit. See, I wasn't all that crazy about A Night at the Opera. Oh, really?

Yeah, because I thought that was the beginning of the end. It was, but it also you know, it resurrected their careers. I mean, Duck Soup was a flop, which is amazing to think of. They got dropped by Paramount. They were over with as film stars

and only because Irving Thalberg came along and said, listen, I know how to make a successful Marx Brothers movie. And he was right. Made two of them. Yeah, and he extended their career for another like seven years or something like that. Yeah. It makes you wonder when we've talked about this, Gil, what would have happened had Thalberg lived. Oh, yeah, I know.

With the account making films for MGM. Yeah. There's a lot of things that could have happened. In one book I read, George S. Kaufman was going to sign a contract with MGM to start directing films, which he only directed one film like in the 40s. The Senator is Indiscreet. Yeah, right. But he was going to actually shift his focus from Broadway to maybe making movies. But when Thalberg died, that was the end of it.

And I think there was talk at one point, Matt Hyken. Nat Hyken? Nat Hyken, I mean. Nat Hyken. Yeah, there was talk. Wanted to write a Marx Brothers movie. But they figured, we've got our own writers. Oh, you mean in the 30s?

No, no, later on. Oh, right. Because I know also Billy Wilder planned a Marx Brothers movie. Can you imagine? A Day at the U.N., I think it was going to be called, and only because I think Harpo got sick or something and they couldn't get the insurance to do it. But they actually, I think Billy Wilder and I.L. Diamond actually started writing it.

Can you imagine, Gilbert? Billy Wilder. That would have been amazing. And the Marx Brothers. So plugs. You're doing the Mads tour. I'm doing the Mads tour. We're going to go to the Mads are back, our Facebook page and on Twitter. And we have gigs coming up in Chicago and El Paso and Phoenix and Dallas and Pittsburgh and all over the place.

Are you still doing Pod House 90? I have a new one that's in production. You and your talented brother, Tony. Yeah, Tony, he writes the music, and they're kind of like musical comedy radio plays. I do about one of them a year. And there's a new one that Tony's writing the music for now. And I also think I'm going to have a new book out pretty soon.

Right. What's that about? That's going to be called How to Write Cheesy Movies, and it's going to be basically a parody of the Sid Field screenplay book. Oh, I love it. Because the premise of it is I don't presume that I could teach anyone how to write a good movie, but after working at Mystery Science Theater for as long as I did, I think I can teach anyone how to write a good movie, but after working at Mystery Science Theater for as long as I did,

I think I can teach people how to write a bad one. I love that. And also Tell Me Everything and also my podcast, Movie Sign with the Mads, that I do with Trace Bilyeu and Carolina Hidalgo, and we just talk about a movie every week. You are busy. You've got a lot of stuff going on. 25 Mystery Science Theater 3000 films that changed my life in no way whatsoever.

And the dedication of the book is very sweet, by the way. Oh, yeah, because I dedicate it to the guys who did change my life or were the people that I worked with on Mystery Science Theater. And I'll love to John. I will. Who's a

terrific guy. He's great. He's the best. We could go on for hours. For hours. Next time we'll do an entire Sid Melton show. I'd love that. I think on the town. We'll work on Sid Tomac from The Life of Riley. I think I tweeted that I was watching

On the Town on Turner Classic Movies. I think I tweeted that it's the best Sid Melton movie. Just as I tweeted that The Bandwagon was the best Herb Vergran movie. Herb, I love him. Well, he was on a lot of Supermans. Oh, a ton of them. I always thought it was Herb Vigrand. Or whatever.

I might be pronouncing it wrong. You know this actor. Oh, yeah. He was always a villain in the color Superman episodes, the ones that weren't scary. He was in Superman. Always a lame-o villain. And also every other thing that was ever done. Now, what was that Frankenstein?

What was that Superman one where they put like a face up in the sky? There was like some face. On the George Reeves series? Yeah. I remember it scaring me. You got me stumped throwing that one out to the fans. And there was an episode of Superman where Superman is responsible for someone's death. I know the one you're talking about.

Yes, I know the one too. That episode scared the shit out of me. Is that the one where the guy comes and finds his secret identity? He finds his secret identity. I think it's a couple and he flies them to a remote mountain. Yes, he does. And then he leaves them there and he goes back to Metropolis

and then they try to climb down the mountain and they are both killed. It's one of those early very film noir-ish Superman episodes which are different from the color. Very much so. And when I saw it as a kid, I thought it was just really scary. Me too.

Can you believe Phyllis Coates is still alive? Is she really? She really is. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, Phyllis Coates was the more film noir one. Yes. And then Noel Neal was the more friendly, wholesome. More comic book-y kind of.

I never cared for the color ones, but the black and white ones are good. The black and white ones are really good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in one of the Supermans, they basically redid the—they probably had it in their warehouse, like the saucer men. Oh, yeah. Makeup. Well, the mole men stuff is also creepy. Yeah, that's a very creepy, weird—they released that as a movie, I think. Oh, yeah. Makeup. Well, the Mole Men stuff is also creepy. Yeah, that's a very creepy, weird.

They released that as a movie, I think. It still gives you the willies a little bit. It does. It does, yeah. Yeah. Shall we let this man go on with his life? I don't want to go on with my life, but I will anyway. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.

And we've been talking to Frank Conniff. And we could keep talking to Frank Conniff for days and days. Thanks for coming in and doing this, man. Thank you so much for having me. It was a joy. Our fans will love this one. We'll send the cheesy movies The worst we can find He'll have to sit and watch them all

And we'll monitor his mind Now keep in mind, Joe can't control Where the movies begin or end Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends Robot, we'll call Cabot Gypsy, Tom Servo If you're wondering how he eats and breathes

And other science facts Then repeat to yourself, it's just a show. I should really just relax. More mystery science theater, 3,000. Thank you. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Our researchers are Paul Rayburn and Andrea Simmons. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, Nancy Chinchar, and John Bradley-Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Murray, John Fodiatis, and Nutmeg Creative.

Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. Thank you.