Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 205. Patton Oswalt

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Comedian, actor, writer and GGACP fan Patton Oswalt drops by the studio (finally!) to discuss the films of Sidney Lumet and Billy Wilder, the "unnatural" art of sitcom acting, the disappearance of grindhouse theaters and the influence of "Richard Pryor: Live in Concert." Also, Larry Cohen deconstructs Superman, Gilbert imagines "Titanic, Part II," the Karate Kid opens a car dealership and Patton stages "The Day the Clown Cried." PLUS: Praising "Ratatouille"! Remembering John Cazale! The artistry of Rick Baker! "Francis Ford Coppola's Dr. Strange"! And the shocking climax in the case of the Golden State Killer! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Buy it today at major retailers. hi this is gilbert godfrey and this is gilbert godf's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And once again, we're recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is an actor, screen and television writer, Emmy and Grammy winning performer, and one of the most popular, admired, and prolific stand-up comedians of his generation. As an actor, you've seen him in hit TV shows like The King of Queens, The Simpsons, Veep, Archer, Justified, Mystery Science Theater, 3000, Mystery Science Theater, 3000, It's Mystery Science Theater, 3000, The return agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., the Goldbergs, and A.P. Bio. You also know him from movies such as Magnolia, Zoolander, Blade, Blade Tritney. Blade Tritney!

Trinity! Trinity! Blade Tritney! Where did you get Tritney from? play trinity play trinity trinity trinity trinity from play trinity big big fan the informant young adult and of course the brilliant chef remy Chef Remy in Pixar's Oscar-winning comedy Ratatouille. Ratatouille. Literally the one word you actually should be saying like Jerry Lewis and you struggle to do it. Ratatouille. Ramen. Ramen noodle.

Ramen shrivel. He's also a film scholar and the author of the New York Times bestsellers, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, Silver Screen Fiend, and his new crime book in which he completed the work of his late wife, Michelle McNamara. I'll be gone in the dark. I didn't write that one.

I just, I got it finished. Yes. Okay. My God. Okay, don't interrupt me. My new crime book. Okay, sorry about that. Yes, stop it.

I'm doing a very professional job. Oh, yeah. Great pacing. And you're interrupting me. So it's I'll Be Gone in the Dark, one woman's obsessive search for the Golden State Killer. Welcome to the show, a sought-after comedian, actor, and writer who somehow finds time to listen to this podcast.

And a man who actually fantasizes about seeing a movie called Billy Jack vs. Blackula. Blackula. You all know him from science fiction 3000. And Rasaguli. Rasagul. Rasagul. Rasaguli. Rasagul. Rasagul.

Rasaguli. Our pal, Patton Oswald. Oh, Gilbert and Frank, thank you so much. Pat, so happy to be here. You are here. I am actually here, finally. Three and a half years. I could have done this way earlier.

I hate calling into shows. Oh, yeah. I will hold out until I can be there live. We're so glad you're here. Yeah, it's so much more fun this way. And you got a lot going on. This has been one of the most surreal. It is so strange how my late wife's book, I'll Be Gone in the Dark, which was about this serial killer that she was trying to solve this case, worked six years on it and did not live to see it completed.

But this morning I woke up. There were pings on the cell phone and all these news alerts. They caught the guy. He's in jail. The Golden State killer was caught and is now in prison. Incredible. Yeah. And that's how I began the day. and I'm ending it with Gilbert Gottfried.

So if this could not be, this is going to be one of the weirder days of my life. No more surreal than that. Begin the day with a serial killer and end with Gilbert Gottfried. What more could you ask for out of life? I mean, that has seized the day, hasn't it? That's living your best life. You just talk a little bit about the book and what happened. And I mean, because this is such...

Yeah, she was a true crime writer and investigative journalist. But what she would do is she was kind of perfecting this new sort of method where she would use a lot of online resources and searching because everything's being digitized now. method where she would use a lot of online resources and searching because everything's being digitized now so there's stuff that normally would be hidden in police files that was she was suddenly using google maps and uh dna searches and familial dna and and geographic profiling to figure out this guy was the worst uncaught serial killer in california history and one of the reasons he wasn't caught and this is going to sound very creepy was they didn't give him a good name he started he was called irons irons was in the 70s he started in sacramento east area rapist then he stopped for a while shows up down in southern california

as the original night stalker they didn't know these two guys were the same guy for years dna comes along in the 90s he these two guys were the same guy for years. DNA comes along in the 90s. You realize, oh, it's the same guy. They called him Erons. It takes you 10 minutes to explain what that means. Of course. And it doesn't catch on.

So she, and when she came up with Golden State Killer, a lot of these cops were like, yeah, that actually is helpful because, you know, he didn't have a name that landed like Zodiac or Night Stalker. Marketing. It is marketing. Yeah. In a case like Stalker. Marketing. It is marketing. In a case like that. It's true. It's advertising. How bizarre.

It is truly advertising. You cannot keep people's attention unless you give them a cool name. Like Son of Sam. Son of Sam. Great name. Yeah. And I'm not saying that like, oh, yay, he's killing people. But if you want to catch him, take a deep breath and give them a really good name.

You know, don't call him the third left up after the barn killer. Like, wait, what? And then don't let Gilbert try to pronounce it. Don't let Gilbert try to take it. It's funny. Like, you sell a serial killer like a breakfast cereal or a dishwashing liquid. And give it a cool name that rings in people's heads. Did you see this coming at all?

Did this take you completely by storm? I thought it would be. It was weird because the night before, I was in Chicago doing a book event with the journalists who helped finish the book and Michelle's researcher. And we ended the evening. Paul Haynes and Billy Jensen. Billy Jensen and Paul Haynes. And we ended the evening. This is in Chicago where my wife was from.

Her whole family's there. And someone was asking, do you think he'll ever be caught? And we think, and I think the evening by basically saying, I think time is running out for him. In my mind thinking five, maybe 10 more years down the road with it because he was so uncaught for so long wake up that i mean we went to bed at 11 30 i get started getting pings at like four in the morning he's caught he's in jail they're gonna have a press conference today they had a huge press conference and it was crazy it's been a very very surreal day and now there's like you know that he's been convicted of two of these murders clearly if he's

this dna if he's the east area rapist he's also the original night stalker and he's killed 12 people and raped 50 unbelievable and and also more that we probably don't know about and former policeman right right right right probably flashing a badge and the reason he had to quit the police force and this sounds like something out of a bad laughing sketch but in the 70s he was caught shoplifting oh yes i saw this a hammer and dog repellent he would invade homes and he was shoplifting a hammer and dog repellent and then they they were gonna like usually and the force will usually help cover that and he immediately quit like don't dig any further. I'm done. I'm out, which should have been very suspicious.

He was shoplifting because he didn't want any record of him buying these items. So, again, it's just the levels of – The story can't end here. I mean there has to be a – No, no. This is part two of the story has ended. He's in jail. There's going to be a whole other –

That's what I mean. There has to be a documentary or something. Well, HBO is doing a multi-part documentary about Michelle and the writing of the book. But now this morning. Should happen. The documentary is like, it's a different movie now. I don't know what's going to happen. Now they're all trying to figure out what's this whole movie going to be now.

Because they're going to do a big, like they're going to do it like The Jinx or Making a Murderer. A big, long series. So they already had him under two names. Under two names. In the 70s, he was the East Area Rapist, Ear. And he vanished because a guy, one of the guys he was trying to attack. And he was – like he would attack couples. He would tie the husband up, make him lie face down in the

kitchen stack plates and cups on his back and go if i hear any of these hit the floor while i'm in the other room with your wife i'll kill both of you like it's just this great like these he would he would break into houses early and leave stuff like hide stuff like handcuffs and ligatures that he could use later like he would prep the scene and um he was held at gunpoint at one point at one time and got away he would vault fences it was just it was really and um uh he uh and then then he vanished for a little bit because that the one he almost got caught spooked him then he shows up they didn't realize it was him down in Goleta and Irvine as the original Night Stalker. And that's when he started murdering people.

It's incredible. The whole thing is insane. And you must be numb. I mean, we've caught you on the day that this has just broken. Well, let's talk about our favorite Buddy Hackett movie. Can we segue? That's a good segue. God to the Laker.

How do we segue to Lord Love and Duck? Lord Love and Duck. Love a Duck which I remember it was quite disappointing well because they were trying because God I wanted to love it they had that little subplot

in It's a Mad Mad Mad World and the studio went there's our new comedy team and ooh no well George Axelrod was somebody to be reckoned with but the movie's just kind of a mess

and I love McDowell and Roddy McDowell, it's funny. It's kind of like that movie was the original Ferris Bueller. You could say that. This obnoxious kid who's getting it over on everybody.

Horrible. Except you're not rooting for him. You immediately hate him. But I wasn't rooting for Ferris Bueller, and that's the first thing I said. Did you hear the Broderick episode where he trashed Ferris Bueller five minutes into the show? No. I was sitting right where you're sitting. I think I opened with it.

I told Matthew Broderick, who's a very nice guy. I was a fine actor. I thought I was nice enough to show up here between plays. He had a break. He had like a two-hour break. Terrific. To get his ass handed to him. But I had to open up the interview saying,

I fucking hated Ferris Bueller. And what was his response? Yeah. Well, he was very nice about it. He's a nice person. What? Well, you know, it's weird how you look back on some of these 80s movies where I liked Ferris Bueller when I saw it,

but I can't not look at it with my eyes down and go, this is a movie about a sociopath. He's a sociopath. And then there's, of course, you know, the other theory about Ferris Bueller of course, is that Ferris Bueller doesn't exist. It's all in Cameron's mind. I've heard this. It's a fight club situation

where he's imagining who he wants to be. That would have been a good movie. If he hadn't, it wouldn't exist. But it's weird. Tomorrow, I fly back to L.A., and I'm going to go to the premiere of a new YouTube Red show called Cobra Kai. And remember the movie Karate Kid? Yes. Of course.

Okay, and the blonde villain, Johnny Lawrence, who is in Cobra Kai. This TV show, it's 10 episodes. I've seen all 10 episodes, but I'm going tomorrow. It's Johnny Lawrence, his age now in his 40s. Love it. Total loser. He's never gotten over losing the thing. And now he and Daniel LaRusso is like this successful auto dealership guy in the valley.

And Johnny Lawrence decides to bring Cobra Kai back and try to get revenge. And it is so funny. What a smart idea. And they found the same actors. And getting back to Ferris Bueller. And getting back to Ferris Bueller. I also thought, okay, so the principal. You felt sorry for Rooney.

Yeah. The principal's a villain because he's got a kid who's constantly missing school. And he goes after him as a principal should do. And so the kid's missing school, lying to his parents. Yes, yes, he's a scumbag. Right. Although it is weird now also watching the movie, knowing what you know about Jeffrey Jones

and seeing him obsessed with a teen boy. Poor turn of events. And like, oh, that's not going to age very well. Yeah, you're chasing after a boy. And it's a shame because he's such a good actor. He was so great in Amadeus. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, he's great.

Devil's Advocate he was great in. He was the only funny part of Howard the Duck when he gets possessed by that demons remember that

the alien monster possesses him and all his lines are hilarious I think you and I are the two guys that saw Howard the Duck did anybody see

Howard the Duck I saw it when it came out because I was like oh maybe this will be good but he has a great she took my eggs when they're in the diner he went underground the poor guy.

Well, yeah. What's he going to do? Show up at auditions? And it's one of those things. Like, you know, it's weird to say you feel bad for a guy. But I feel bad for him. Well, I feel bad for the fact that, you know, he did have all this talent. And why couldn't he have, you know, if you're that talented and clearly that intelligent,

why don't you go seek help or be self-aware enough to, you know what I mean? But I don't, it's tragic. And also, ultimately, the people that he messed with is awful. You know, because they were probably excited to meet him. Like, hey, I like you in all those movies. And then, oh boy. Creepy. You know from this show, from listening to this show,

that we jump around and there's no rhyme or reason to anything. Wait, what? There's no sequence. I don't know. This has made perfect sense. We've gone from a caught serial killer to Buddy Hackett to pedophilia. And now we go to... And, you know, you were talking about that movie that's made from...

He brings his own segues. I know. I like that about him. With the villain from Karate Kid. Yes. I always wanted to do sequels to movies where, like, Titanic. I wanted to make a sequel where the Leonardo DiCaprio character does live. And the two of them get married.

And then she's going, wait a minute. We're in a rat-infested apartment. Right, exactly. And who's going to be cooking my meals? Right. And why am I wearing these rags for? Yeah, and also that thing of like, oh, wait a minute. No, you were my slumming side snack, but I shouldn't be married to you.

This is awful. Like, you're fun to spend a crazy night with, but a life, oh, no, this is a, and he's going to grow up to become a temperamental with, but a life, oh no, this is a, and you know, he's going to grow up to become a temperamental alcoholic artist. Yes. You know, who's just like,

oh, it's like, wait a minute. Her choices were this very handsome, stable, violent psychopath and this fun,

but also clearly someday very destructive, like she just had no real options. It was good that she got away from the music guy and the artist, she just nailed him and then let him die. Good. Best of all possible worlds.

As long as we're talking about fantasy scenarios, before we lose this because it's in the intro, Billy Jack vs. Blackula may be my favorite from your book. Yes. Your wonderful book, Silver Screen Fiend. And in the back of the book, one of the last sections of the book, is you imagine fantasy films with fantasy directors.

I imagine a month of films at this place called the New Beverly in L.A. The owner died, Sherman Torrigan. The great Sherman Torrigan. Yeah, the great Sherman Torrigan. I wanted to program one month of movies that people either dreamed of making or should have been made. Some of those are based on movies that were being developed at one point. Yeah. Like Francis Ford Coppola's Doctor Strange.

He was doing that back in the early 70s, which is like, wait, what? Can you imagine? No, I actually can't. You put Christopher Walken in yours. Yes, I did. He would have been a great Doctor Strange. Young Christopher Walken? Yeah.

Would have been an amazing Doctor Strange. What Christopher Walken? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Would have been an amazing Doctor Strange. What about Sam Peckinpah's Superman starring Steve McQueen? He was developing that at one point. Can you imagine? He was one of the... They had him on as director for a little bit, and he wanted... Wow.

And my dream scene in that would be someone blasts a machine gun at Superman's chest, and the bullets deflect off, but just go into other people and it's a bloodbath. All these people die. And he does it in slow motion. And yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Falling back with the arms in the air.

And William Holden is Lex Luthor. I don't know who he... You even put the Dreamcast together in each one of these. Well, Steve McQueen is Superman. I think you said... You say in the book, fuck it, Hackman will play Luther again. Still Hackman. Yeah, he was great.

Right, right, right. Come on. What about Billy Jack versus Blackula? Because those are two movies that have been discussed on this show. Yes. Well, I mean, the first Billy Jack movie, if you've seen it recently, is so insanely slow. Everyone remembers the ass kickingkicking in the park scene, and what they forget is it's literally 90 minutes of talking with three minutes of ass-kicking.

It's so bad. And then, actually, the original Blackula is kind of fun. It is. See, now when they talk about Blackula. Sorry for jumping in. When they talk about Blackula. It was a little schizophrenic. They always review it and they say, and the great William Marshall.

And I'm going, well, where do we know William Marshall from other than Black Girl? Pee Wee. Yeah. He was on Pee Wee's show. But he was also, he also a huge Shakespearean actor. Wasn't he the king of cartoons or something? Yeah. Who was the other black actor?

Pee-wee's Playhouse. Lawrence Fishburne. Lawrence Fishburne. As the cowboy. Yes. Black people on Pee-wee's Playhouse. That's a whole other. How is that not some little hipster band's name?

Black people on Pee-wee's Playhouse. Also, you imagined a biopic, this was sweet, with your friend Sherman, played by the late great John Cazale. Yes. Yeah, the moviegoer. Yeah. Percy's the moviegoer. Yeah, yeah.

And, yeah, that would be a good Sherman biopic. Yeah, just, I mean, because John Cazale only got to do those five movies and that one episode of Street Stand, which is going to be gone. Five big movies. It's so insane. Yeah. He does five movies, but five iconic movies. Yeah. Two best pictures.

Yeah. Three. Three best pictures. Three. Godfather 2. And was insanely memorable in all of them. Yeah. Three. Three best pictures. Three. Godfather 2. And was insanely memorable in all of them. Yeah. And playing characters that would normally fade into the background with less action,

but he made them so real. The conversation. Incredible. Deer Hunter. Let's see. The two Godfather pictures and Dog Day. Oh, Dog Day afternoon. Of course. Yes. That. The Dog Day Afternoon. The Two Godfather pictures and Dog Day. Oh, Dog Day Afternoon, of course. Yes.

That haircut in Dog Day. He was great in all of them. He's so good. It was really weird because I did a movie, a little movie called Big Fan, and my mom is played by Marcia Jean Kurtz, who's one of the bank tellers in Dog Day Afternoon. There's a Spike Lee film called The Inside Man. I like that picture. And she also plays a bank teller with the exact same name as her

character in Dog Day. And she says, while they're questioning her, I've been held up before. And it's supposed to be the same character. Oh, it's like an in-joke. A little in-joke. Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. We talk a lot about Lumet on this show. Oh, Sidney Lumet. I was just talking about the other day.

Talk about that guy. He does, what didn't he do? Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, and then Murder on the Orient. Yes. The craziest shift. To get away from, to change. Change it up. But Murder on the Orient Express is so weirdly violent and dark. It's G-rated, but that murder scene at the end in the blue light

where they're all stabbing the guy is nightmarish. Yep, it's great. It's one of your favorite movie moments, too. I saw the Poirot. And he did another movie

that's a favorite of mine, even though it's not a perfect film, and he himself thought it wasn't perfect. The Wiz? No. Oh, God.

That's where there's no scene that's passable in that one. But bye-bye Braverman. You were talking about this on the show, and when you mentioned that Sorrelbrook was in it, I'm like, now I got to go. I went and downloaded it to watch it. Sorrelbrook plays this kind of effeminate, swishy writer. Yes.

This big red electric typewriter and it's kind of just a day in the life. It's really good. Joseph Wiseman shows up in it too, Dr. No. And Jack Warden,

I mean, great actors. Yeah, but it has the pacing and the stakes of these little precious indie films that you would see

at Sundance now but they were making this in the early 70s. The stakes are so low, but you care. When you look at his body of work and you look at things, and then you look at things like Prince of the City and 12 Angry Men and Pawnbroker, it's a wonderful output.

And the verdict. And the verdict and Q&A. And Q&A, right. And then, what is it before? The Devil Knows You're Dead? Yes. That's a great one. Yes. Very.

That's the last one, I think. But I think he was like in his 70s, and it looks like it was made by a 23-year-old on Adderall. Yeah. It sends so much crazy energy to it. And that was one of those movies, those rarities, when you got those movies that grab you in the first minute yeah oh yeah that was one of those ones i mean also it was it's sydney lumet just going with his life from and then that cast yeah philip seymour hoffman yeah it's a wonderful picture of course you're into it yeah he his he wrote a book called making movies that is so kind of squirmingly honest about what he goes.

I've done a couple of movies where you realize halfway through, well, this movie is going to suck. We didn't do it, but I got to finish it because – and then you watch previews going, yep, this is it. And he never says what the movies are, but you can kind of guess. Matthew Broderick was sitting in that chair talking about family business. Oh, was he? And saying he didn't understand it, and he still doesn't. Yeah. I think that's the one where, in the book, he all but says, because he goes, I got all these huge stars.

It was one of those things like you can't miss. And we're watching the early cuts. I'm like, this is, no one's going to go see this. Such a bummer. And it was weird. I guess Sean Connery was supposed to be Irish in that, even though he's doing a Scottish accent. But he never doesn't do it. He's always a Scottish guy.

And so he's got this strong Scottish accent, but he's Irish, and his son is Italian, and his grandson is Jewish. His son is Dustin Hoffman. Right. Yeah. His son is Italian, but he converts for his wife, and that's how Matthew Broderick is Jewish. Oh, yes.

Yes, yes. Right. So an Irish guy's playing a Jew, the Jew's playing an Italian guy, and the Scotsman's playing an Irishman. Yes. You got it. This is like the setup to the shittiest joke.

But it also wasn't the cast. It was one of those movies where, you know, De Niro was supposed to be. Oh, he was? It was a totally different cast. Wow. And they just cobbled it together with. And they're pulling off this criminal operation because of some Chinese guy. BD Wong. Wong.

I cannot even remember this. Oh, my God. I can't even remember this movie. Yeah, that's a head scratch. It's one of those movies that you watch and you immediately forget. There's nothing to cling to. No. Nothing stays with you.

No. And they all must have been so, oh, my God. Because that was probably right after Connery won his Oscar. Also for playing an Irish guy with a Scottish accent. Correct. Still won an Oscar. Well, playing an Irish guy with a Scottish accent. Still won an Oscar. Broderick's father's in Dog Day, so he wanted to work with Lumet. James Broderick is the cop.

Oh, at the end. At the end. Could you put your gun down? Correct. And then he shoots Cazale in the head. So he was on the Dog Day set as a kid, and he knew Lumet. No kidding. And they'd never worked worked together and this was their

chance to work together i didn't okay yeah but it just didn't happen wow that makes so much sense but i still don't care it was terrible and i always like prince of the city because unlike serpico which is a great movie prince of the city really makes it more uh you know serpico is black and white yeah and prince of the city you go you know you're not sure who to side with right and even the main guy treat williams clearly at the end doesn't even know am i good or bad like he's just so adrift and they he shoots it so well where he starts off with all those big wide shots and the shots keep getting tighter and tighter till at the end you're just stuck. It's so claustrophobic watching that film.

And it was also the first time that anyone looked at Jerry Orbach and went, that's a cop. Because up to that point he was a fun song and dance man. They're like, no, cop. And that face, and that was it. We love character actors like you love character actors. We had Tony Robertson here as in Serpico. No, that's right. We love to get like you love character actors. We had Tony Robertson here as in Serpico. No, that's right.

We love to get these guys in here. And we had Bruce Stern, and we had Tony LoBianco. I know you like... Oh, Honeymoon Killers? Oh, yeah, the Coen picture, too. The one with Andy Kaufman. Oh, I thought you said the Coen brothers. No, the Larry Coen picture.

God told me to. Yeah, we had Larry Coen in here. God told me to. Yeah. Yeah, we had Larry Coen on. We had Larry Coen in here, too, which was surreal. I think you already told the story in the show when he was at Cannes with Q, the winged serpent. Correct. And Roger Ebert went and saw it, and he comes out. So you know the story. Yeah.

He sees Larry and Arkhoff. Right. And he goes, my God, you have the most amazing method acting job I've ever seen in the middle of all this shit. And then Arkhoff goes Right. He's like, God, you have the most amazing method acting job I've ever seen in the middle of all this shit. And then Arkhoff goes, this shit was my idea.

It's a great story. And like, proud of himself. Yeah, of course. The great thing about when Larry Cohen was on this show,

it's like you're listening to him and you're going, I think 99% of this is bullshit, but he's so much fun. Like that nobody had a rifle in the opening scene when the guy's on the tower, when the sniper's on the tower in God Told Me To.

And the prop guy doesn't bring a gun. And he's got something like 600 extras down in the street and no gun. And he got on a bullhorn. He said, does anybody have a rifle? Yes. Oh, my God. And some woman in the crowd said what we do and ran home and got a rifle and that was the rifle that they used in the movie but you hope these stories

are true i hope they are i mean i do know that he um he told us about how when the the scene where andy kaufman is the cop who goes on the shooting spree yeah he there it was in there i guess i guess they just went in guerrilla style in an actual parade kind of, and Kaufman started taunting the parade goers, and they were going to kill him. They were going to start a fight, and they had to get the scene done quickly. That I believe. I could see Andy Kaufman just fucking with these people.

But yeah, it was, I don't know. Larry Cohen gave this really cool interview years ago where he said, you know, Superman never made sense to me because he comes down to Earth in a spaceship in the 50s. And mom and pa can't find him. It's in Kansas, America in the 50s. So they're going to take him to church every Sunday. And little baby Clark Kent is going to be sitting there, little kid Clark Kent. They're talking about this guy named Jesus who comes out of the sky, who has powers and abilities that no one else has.

And he's going to start going, I think I'm Jesus. I think that's what they're talking about. And he wouldn't have become a reporter. He would have started a religion or something. That was such an interesting take. He's in L.A. You should look him up. You should take him to lunch and hang out with him.

He's a lot of fun. Yeah, I would imagine. I think he'd spark you. I've met him at a couple of things, and I think I got a card from him once, and I lost it. But someday, hopefully, I'll get to hang with him. But he just seems like a really – he's made some very weird moves. The stuff. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. So good. Oh, and those Blaxploitation pictures are crazy. Oh, yeah. Blax Caesar. Blax Caesar. Yeah.

Yeah. And he'll up in Harlem. And he's got – yeah, listen to that episode for just – you know, they never got permits. I just didn't – I mean, real guerrilla filmmaking. Yeah. And there's one called Bone with Joyce Van Patten and Yafit Kodo that's very disturbing that he shot in his own house.

Oh, Lord. And the whole movie's on YouTube if you got nothing to do one night for two hours. Okay. It's a weird fever dream. But talk about the stuff in the book, and it's kind of touching, you know, your relationship with Sherman and your $5 a night film school. Yeah.

The beloved New Beverly. I used to go to the New Beverly. Now, you know, it's being renovated. Quentin Tarantino bought it, and he's totally refurbishing it. But back in the day, you could see a double feature every night for $5. And I just got a cheap film education but i remember i would i would talk to torgan it was always in the ticket booth like he was just this little face in the ticket booth like this little yoda figure and i remember i went there the first time may of 1995 to see ace in the hole and sunset

boulevard that was my first double feature there. And then I went back. I mean, I kept going every night. But then I remember four years into it, they were showing that double feature again. And I went to buy my ticket. And Sherman was like, oh, hey, Pat. And he goes, I thought you'd be showing me a screenplay by now. It was his way of going, you need to go and do some stuff. You've seen enough movies.

Go make a movie. That's cool. Go write a movie. So it cool. Go write a movie. So it was that little, like, he just kept track of, like, he saw the world through that screen, but he remembered everyone that came in and out. And it was back in the day when you'd go,

a couple times I was there, Lawrence Tierney would show up. And I was watching, I was there watching Citizen Kane one day for that 900th time and I'm half an hour into the movie enjoying it and there's someone sits down behind me I can hear the guy and then um he just starts whoever this is starts talking to the screen and about the movie like look at the fat ass on that bitch that guy oh he's oh you're kissing her but everyone knows

you're a fag and I was gonna like turn around and go, would you shut the fuck up? And it's Lawrence Tierney just rattling off like, I knew that asshole, that fucking bitch. That fucking asshole, this guy. And then it became great. This is the best DVD commentary I've ever heard. And now I'm really kind of digging it. And I get like half an hour of him just dishing on everyone. And when I say dishing, it was

just like, and that motherfucker right there. And that other fucking asshole. And then his little handler came in, some kid, and was like, oh, Larry, there you are. Come on, we gotta go, man. And then Lawrence Tierney stands up and says, I ain't never seen this cocksucker

before. It ain't bad. And then he just saw half an hour of Citizen Kane out of context That's not bad Even though according to him That's all full of fags and bitches And asses Okay

Just when the show was starting to get good We're gonna throw a monkey wrench into the works With this commercial word. moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin B3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich indulgent experience. Treat your senses with NuoLite Indulgent Moisture Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In season three, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins,

the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Only on Disney+. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Gil and Frank went out to pee. Now they're back so they can be on their amazing Colossal Podcast.

Kids, time to get back to Gilbert and Frank's amazing Colossal Podcast. So let's go. You, you. Of course, a very important topic. You brought up Sunset Boulevard. Oh, boy. Now, I got into a talk with, of all people, Jackie the Joke Man about this. Oh, it was Jackie.

That's right. Yeah. And, you know, in the beginning of the movie, she's holding a funeral for her beloved pet chimp. Right. And story has it. I bet you don't know where he's going here, Patton. No, I don't. Story has it that rich women back then, like especially in Hollywood where this depravity was going on. Chimps were trained to perform cunnilingus.

So these women would buy trained chimps to perform cunnilingus on them. This is according to Jackie Martling. Jackie Martling. But then I looked it up on the internet. Why did you look that up? So you went to the verifiable source, the internet, to get the solid information. Let's back up. This could be bullshit.

Let's go to the internet where there's no bullshit. Let's go to the internet. You so wanted it to be true. Where they're reporting John Travolta died today. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, let's go check that out. The old gray lady, the internet. Okay, but hang on.

Let's say that is true. Let's say they were training chimps to perform. I don't want you to say it's true. Okay, but when chimps get older, don't they go crazy and get feral? And they'll break people's jaws and eat their faces off? Why did we never hear about some actress getting killed by her pussy-eating chimp?

Well, the studio would bury it. With the fixers. Eddie Maddox. They would set fire to the house she was in and her corpse would be destroyed. Part of that story was that Wilder goes up to Gloria Swanson and gives her that piece of direction

at the beginning. Oh, yes! Wilder said, remember, you're fucking the chimp. It gets better. Remember, you're fucking the chimp. Alright, we're losing the light. Quickly! And you mention Remember, you're fucking the chimp. All right, we're losing the light. Quickly.

We're fucking it. And you mentioned Ace in the Hole, which was also the great, the big carnival. Yeah, big carnival. And also, you know, the slang term for that movie was. Why? Because it failed so horribly because he was riding such a high. Right. He's like, this is the movie I want to do.

I've got control now. And they called it Ass in the Ringer because it lost so much goddamn money. It was such a bomb. The thing is, it became like such a respected. Pretty ballsy movie. Oh, God. It was so ballsy for its day. Yeah.

And because it really is ahead of the time on talking about the media and how false. And fake news and how the news is whatever you decide to make it. We will just keep changing the story. It was really, I think it was just, but he delivers the message with such a fucking sledgehammer because Kirk Douglas is such an asshole with no garlic pickles. He's just. Hulk Hest is great.

Yeah. Oh, that Hulk. Yeah. The guy from, that played Animal in Starlight 17, who's just dying slowly in this goddamn mine. Yes. Leo, we're waiting for you, Leo. Whatever they're singing to him. And they're changing it where they have a way to rescue him earlier.

Way quicker. And he, yeah. where they have a way to rescue him early. Way quicker, and he, yeah. And Kirk Douglas and the sheriff bury it because they want him in the mine longer because they're making so much money. And when he slaps the wife to make her cry for the news. Kirk Douglas was not afraid to play an asshole. No. Look at the Bad and the Beautiful.

Oh, my God. Some of those performances. I think Mad City. I think that Travolta Hoffman movie is an Ace in the Hole remake. Yeah, it was an Ace in the Hole remake. Yeah. And not very good. No.

Yeah. Yeah, Travolta and Hoffman. Tell the story, too, and it's a sweet story. Can you tell that Casablanca story about the new Beverly? Oh, this is going to make me so sad. Oh, you don't have to tell it. Well. But it's sweet. It's in the book. It is sweet. Okay, yeah. One night, the new Beverly? Oh, this is going to make me so sad. Oh, you don't have to tell it. But it's sweet.

It's in the book. It is sweet. Okay, yeah. One night, the new Beverly. It was Friday night, raining. Go see Casablanca for my 20th time with all the other weirdos. Again, I look back on it now. I'm like, I was in my 20s.

I wasn't bad looking. I could have been, but I was like, no, I want to be in the dark with these 80-year-old film freaks. Just seeing this movie for the 100th times and watching Casablanca. And right near – it's literally like in a comedy sketch. It's writers are saying goodbye at the airport. He goes, listen, sweetheart, I promise you – and then the film broke at that moment, which everyone was like, oh, God. But it was so bad for it to break at that moment. It was also funny, so we kind of started laughing,

and then you could hear them fixing the projector, and they didn't turn the lights on. We're just sitting there, and everyone just started whistling as time goes by in the dark while they fixed it, the whole theater. I love that. On a rainy Friday night, there were maybe 30 of us in this theater.

So just like, if you could have done one of those montage scenes of like it's 1996 in la let's cut to this dance club this bar this movie premiere this you know restaurant and then these 30 people just alone in this little theater in the rain whistling and then just cut to the next thing like that was going on somewhere in the city that night like there's just that that's the picture you paint in the book it's yeah yeah it's vivid now it's funny because you talk about your childhood there or your teenage and 20s and i remember during my teens they used to have revival houses all over manh Oh, wait a minute. What year was this? Like in the 70s or 60s? 60s and 70s.

Well, there was the Biograph. There was the Regency. Yeah. There was the failure. The late 60s, early 70s was the heyday of revival theaters in New York. It was nonstop. St. Mark's Cinema. The Waverly.

Waverly. Gone. And I would go to them a lot. I would catch old movies, you know, old Marx Brothers movies or obscure films. And the funny thing is now when I look back on it and picture myself going to those theaters, it makes me very sad. It kind of makes me sad, too. Like what was drawing me into the darkness during the years when I should have been out in the sun? Like what was drawing me into the darkness during the years when I should have been out in the sun?

Like my wife now, I've remarried, and she was one of those people that – and she's an actress and she's amazing. Her name is Meredith Salinger. She was in Dream a Little Dream. Yes, of course. We met backstage. Yes, you met backstage. I met her in the green room. She was quite a hottie as I remember. Still is.

Yeah. In fact, I'm sure I must have jerked off to one of her movies. She'll be so pleased. Yeah. That's a J.D. Salinger. Next time you're having sex with your wife. Oh, I'll make sure to mention that. Picture me jerking off, sitting in a movie theater with my dick in my hands,

jerking off to your wife while you're... As a matter of fact, next time you're having sex with your wife, imagine you're fucking me. You got Dave on that one. Yes, yes. For the rest of your life, any time you have sex with your wife, you'll picture that you really fucking made.

Wow, thanks. See you in 10 years, erections. 10. 10. Oh, God. But, you know, she was, she didn't see a lot of movies because, no, are you kidding? She's making movies. I was making movies, but I was also at the beach, and I But, you know, she was – she didn't see a lot of movies because – no, are you kidding?

She was making movies. I was making movies, but I was also at the beach, and I was, you know, going out with hot guys and enjoying life, and I was just in the dark. But I just – but I love those little moments, these weird pockets of time. little coffee shop in the village back in the early 70s that um i forget what it was called but during the day um richard pryor and george carlin before they were who they were oh was that uh hansen's or something might have been but they would they would they would like do handoffs just doing stand-up to whoever was sitting there and it was like eight people and they would then they would like pat and like people would just ignore them like the fuck is this shit you know because they were you know they were kind of going through their transformation so again you could do that montage of late 60s early 70s new york city where you know this amazing thing is going on on broadway and

there's a thing at the met and this restaurant this scene and then you cut to this little coffee shop. And these two guys who are going to be giants someday. It's great. Are eight people are just like, oh, God, shut the hell up. You know, like, I just love those little moments. That's what this show is about. Stuff we missed.

It really is. Yeah. Errors we missed out on and things we didn't we didn't actually get to experience. Why weren't you there for that? Yeah. Someone pointed out that the hotel that I'm staying at, there's a little bodega next door. We were pulling up today, and they're like, see that bodega? I'm like, hey, that used to be Max's Kansas City.

I'm like, what? Yep. Literally Max. And now it's a little bodega. New York's changed, my friend. Oh, and it will always, every 10 years you'll come back and half of it's gone. Are you worried about the demise of movie theaters? I'm worried now more about, I'm not as worried about the demise of movie theaters as i'm worried now more about i'm not as worried about

the demise of movie theaters i'm worried about the demise of just a basic knowledge of of just a basic outline of film history because it's going to let a lot of people that are audacious but not talented get away with rewarming stuff and being hailed as geniuses or being you know what i mean like there's it'll be let i, there will always be originality, but originality is going to have to fight harder and harder for air. But the thing that's really scaring me right now in LA are all these weird little small business stores that are run by people that aren't necessarily in it for the profit.

It's almost like they have their collection of stuff on display. So there's like a weird little bookstore like Dark Delicacies or a little place like Secret Headquarters or House of Secrets or a little vintage store like Bearded Lady all along Magnolia. And what happened, like I was driving through Silver Lake where Silver Lake has all these great little vinyl record stores and eateries and little clothing stores and knickknack stores. And right near Rosemont and Sunset now, there's a giant – one of those three plexes with a Starbucks, a Chipotle, and a hamburger habit right smack in the middle of Silver Lake now in L.A. and East L.A.

And I'm like, that's the beginning of the end of all the small businesses. Oh, yeah. Once that thing lands, think of that as like, remember that movie, The Monolith Monsters? Yeah. Those rocks, and they would land, and they would just start taking over the landscape. That's what that is. And then- Mom and pop businesses will disappear.

Because the landlords go, oh, wait a minute. But here's what sucks. I have nothing against Chipotle and Starbucks. Great. But they are accessible everywhere. Yeah. But the two blocks of Magnolia that have those weird little stores, that's the only place you can go there. And every week, no, they don't make crazy money during the week, but on the weekend, they do great because that's the only place you can go get them. And then people go shopping, then they go to a Starbucks

and they want to gut all those stores and drop Starbucks in there. They want to drop a Starbucks half a mile from the Starbucks you were going to go to when you were done antiquing. Same thing is happening here on the Upper East Side. Oh, it is? Yeah, sure, sure. Yorkville, I mean, it was a German neighborhood, and it was all mom-and-pop shops for years. I mean, until recently, and it's being driven out by that kind of stuff. And you see the bakery that's been there since 1919 closes. It just is.

And they don't. And it bothers me that, again, I have no problem with capitalism and profit, but it's like what Starbucks makes $20 billion a year, but someone in the world goes, but what if we made $21 billion? How does $21 change anything from $20 at that point? You've made it. You should actually relax. That's like that part in Chinatown.

Yeah. How much richer can you be? How much better can you eat? Yeah. How much better can you eat? What can you buy that you can't already afford? The future, Mr. Gates. Are those cool stores still there, like Larry Edmonds Bookshop in Hollywood and

Script City and those places still hanging on? Hanging on by their fingertips. I remember, too, like when I was in my teens and twenties, I would walk around in the street, and there were junk stores that you'd go in, you could kill your entire day in one of those stores. Roll bookstores where you could go and kill an entire day. Oh, well, like, right, Strands is still there, but there used to be about a hundred of these tiny bookstores around. But the thing that was great about those stores was not only were they selling books, they were also selling The Hunt.

Of course. Part of filling yourself with endorphins is The Hunt, and we're getting rid of The Hunt. Record stores too. Yeah, and that's why I did a lot of stuff on Record Store Day, the whole vinyl thing. Oh, that's great. Because they're all holding on. Amoeba Records might be going away or might shrink and all these other places. So it really, I don't know, it gives me the heebie-jeebies a little bit because it makes me look at Noah Cross.

At least Noah Cross was trying to build a future of water and whatever it was he was trying to build. These people, they don't even want to own the future. They want to – there is no future if everything is just Chipotle, Starbucks, hamburger habit. Chipotle, Starbucks, it's just boom, boom, that's it. And I can easily see a day very nearby where there are no movie theaters. Absolutely. We're heading toward it. We're heading there, and that's really, really scaring me.

I moved back to New York in 2003 from L.A., and I think at least 15 theaters have disappeared in the 13 years, 14 years that I've been back. I mean, and none of those revival houses exist anymore. And then the goddamn Ziegfeld went away. Wait, what? It's gone. Yeah, Ziegfeld's gone. It's gone.

Oh, shit. It's heartbreaking. Yeah, Ziegfeld's gone. It's gone. Oh, shit. It's heartbreaking. Yeah. And nothing to replace it, believe me. I remember the Waverly would made, when they had El Topo, the legendary distributor Ben Barinholtz. Yes. And we worked with the Coens. Yeah.

But he famously, he took out newspaper ads the size of a postage i just said el topo at midnight and then in the window of the no poster just a car piece of cardboard el topo at midnight no one knew what that meant and word of mouth just that's how because i remember there's there was a simpson writer named george meyer that was like you know things that are just inherently good and interesting will catch on without like that's why. So when they have these gigantic ad campaigns for milk or the family, well, something's kind of weird about those. But something like yoga or some weird little they have there's no giant there's no yoga council. It just people do it and go, look, I know it's going to sound really weird me saying that it really works.

It's great. Go do it. You know, I know it's going to sound really weird. It really works. It's great. Go do it. You know, it does. It doesn't need the giant. It's the stuff that is inherently shitty that needs the giant push because it's not all that good. And I've noticed, too, in newspapers, which saying the word newspaper is ancient. Oh, my God. Yeah. There used to be a whole big section of ads for movies.

I got some, some fans have been sending those to me. They've been sending me old newspapers from the 70s and 60s with the full page ads where there's like 20. I'll share them with you. I'll share them with you guys.

They're great. There's no big movie section in newspapers anymore. No, no. Yeah. Well, like you said, everybody in, you know,

soon everybody will have a theater in their house. The TVs are getting bigger. Or even worse, but then the home theater is going to go away because what's going to happen is Yeah. Well, like you said, everybody – soon everybody will have a theater in their house. The TVs are going to be there. Or even worse, but then the home theater is going to go away because what's going to happen is – That too. They're doing the VR thing where you can put a headset on and it creates the experience of being – and you'll watch – you'll plug in something the size of a cigarette pack, but it'll feel like you're sitting in the Arclight or the Cinerama Dome.

That's how big the screen will seem to you. You'll have on noise-canceling headphones you'll have this great sound. Now, look, fine, I'm not against anyone's amusement, but a movie, you will see a movie, you'll see different things about it when you watch it with a bunch of people. Of course, there's nothing like it. You'll see it all differently with a bunch of people.

That's the thing, that experience. Well, number one, putting your shoes on and going to a movie theater. Yeah, exactly. And then being in a movie theater where everyone laughs at the same time, screams at the same time. Or even when you're in a movie that's not working is so fascinating. When there's a comedy and they've clearly landed what they thought was going to be a joke and the audience is like

uh... That, to me, I love. It's a group thing. It really is a group thing. And then especially, the other thing I miss about Revival, and I'm so jealous of you, you were because not only did you have access to all these rep theaters, but you had access to Times Square and all those grindhouses

where you never knew what was playing. Some weird thing that would... There's a guy, one of my favorite filmmakers, a guy named Andy Milligan. Andy Milligan made Torture Garden and The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here and Dr. Jekyll's Sister Hyde. He was the

ghastly ones. He was the... He was... He made like Ed Wood look like Wes Anderson. His shit was so awful and half of his filmography is gone because he would make films for these grindhouse theaters they would show them for the weekend

and they would call the distributor going where do we mail this back and they're like we don't want it we're not paying the postage for that shit send us the money you made and we're done I don't care and he would And he would just – but there was no such thing as previewing it, a poster, nothing. You walked in and the ghastly ones, the fuck is this?

Those days are gone too. Times Square. Well, they would have porn and kung fu movies. But slasher movies like Maniac or you could see Abel Ferrara pictures like Driller Killer or stuff like that. Miss 45. In Times Square I saw

Make Them Die Slowly and Catch Them and Kill Them. Make Them Die Slowly is the jungle one like the cannibals? Yes, both of them. Both of them would have like a half a minute scene in Manhattan, and then they'd go to the jungle with actual tribes.

Yeah. Yeah. And I basically, I think the correct term is fucking guineas. He's obsessed with these Italian directors who are working in the States under pseudonyms. Well, I mean, initially they made Dr. Butcher. They made Sergio Leone work

under a pseudonym. They let him use his own name. But there was this guy that was the asylum films of his time. He did The Visitor and Tentacles and where he would see a movie that was coming out and he would very quickly crank out a like an imitation and this movie called the visitor that was his it's the exorcist but also close encounters it was a he like slapped together

three don't even know this movies and the and the goddamn cast it's like um Glenn Ford and John Huston. It is the nuttiest goddamn movie. It's called The Visitor. Oh, you have to go see this. I know a movie called The Night Visitor. Do you know this picture with Max Fonsito? No. About a guy who escapes from a mental hospital at night and commits killings

and then sneaks back into the mental hospital? That sounds familiar. Do you know this picture? Sounds great. It's also worth seeing. Now, a more recent film that's one of these, like, low-budget, but let's see what movies work and slap them together. There's one movie.

It has to do with finding lost footage, and it's after the Blair Witch project came out. Well, there were a ton of those after the shark one. So they found lost footage. It's all very shaky, cheap camera work and where they're stuck in a place with dinosaurs.

So it's a hybrid of Blair Witch and Jurassic Park. Holy shit. Yeah. This isn't Roger Corman's Carnosaur, is it? No. Carnosaur is the movie with...

I think Clint Howard's in Carnosaur, isn't he? And he probably is. I think he is. I know you got a Clint Howard thing. What's her name? Laura Dern. Yeah. Yeah.

We had Corman here, too, which was... Oh, that must have been amazing. Surreal. Just to have Corman And Larry Cohen And Dick Miller Wait a minute Laura Dern Wasn't in Carnosaur

Was she Well wait Wait No Which one's the Jurassic Park That's Laura Dern And Sam Neill

Is it Diane What's her name Diane Ladd Her mother Is that Carnosaur Yeah maybe Is your mom in Carnosaur Yeah I think she's

The mad scientist I gotta go look that up right now. Paul, research. Yeah, well, okay. Sometime in this next decade, Paul will come up with that. But, you know, again, there were these little – I remember there was this movie I was obsessed with for years to the point where I did a bit about it called Deathbed,

the bed that eats. And it's about a bed that indeed is obsessed possessed by a demon and when people fuck on the bed the bed eats them it was it was a way to get like soft core and then they would people would just get dissolved by the bed and um and it was this legendary like lost film and but then someone found a picture of time square one of these grant with deathbed on the marquee which probably played for a day and then vanished and then eventually it showed up again like 10 years what showed up like five or six years ago on dvd and i did a screening of it at the alamo draft house just so that i could see it and like i should see this movie it's so fucking bad there was some movie uh believe it or not, low budget. And it had to do with a girl with this deadly vagina that had teeth.

It was called Teeth. Yeah, oh, Teeth. The movie was called Teeth. And her vagina grew teeth. Yes. What do they call that? Vagina dentata? Vagina dentata.

Right. Thanks, Sigmund Freud. Right. Sounds like the Lion King song. Like the sci-fi channel, Vagina Dentata. Right. Thanks, Sigmund Freud. Sounds like the Lion King song. Like the sci-fi channel, Vagina Dentata. What did you say? Diane Ladd. We have a...

Diane Ladd. Yes, thank you. Oh, my Lord. Thank you, crack research team. But yeah, the, you know, places like the asylum. Thank you, Darren. And then also just people that are doing direct-to-video stuff. That's the new grindhouse now.

And also, like, there's stuff. Netflix has this sort of hidden basement now. When you go searching for horror and sci-fi, there's suddenly, if you go, like, to row eight or nine, it's suddenly these movies. You're like, where the fuck did this come from? And you give it a check out. It's pretty cool. I remember being in Times Square.

And they still, the idea of double features, that's gone. Yeah, also gone. But there was a, I wish to Christ I had brought a camera with me. Yeah. Because there was a double feature of Fort Fairlane and Problem Child. Oh, my God. Wow. Gilbert Gottfried Extravaganza.

Wow. That's disturbing. There are some moments in Fort Fairlane, my brother was pointing out to me, that the movie Fort Fairlane doesn't work, but there are these individual moments that are so goddamn funny. After he comes and sees you, and I remember because the exterior

is shot in front of the director's guild building on sunset it's like if the camera panned over he'd be across from the laugh factory and you've just said

I'll give you like a thousand dollars but you only give him you go no no dessert till after you finish you only give him a hundred and then he walks out

and it's his voice where he goes money money money money money and he does this weird little like kind of Dutch kick dance. It's the weirdest moment,

and it makes me laugh so hard every time. It's just out of nowhere. I saw you and Karen, your friend Karen, doing the, grabbing the Blast of Silence, where they turned you loose in the Academy's film archive.

Got to go to the Academy archives and go watch Blast of Silence. Yeah, they're going to let me start doing that again. You know, TCM is doing their big film festival. They're opening their vault. And the thing that they're showing this Saturday, but I don't think I can see it because it's at midnight. But I have a very early Sunday.

It's one of my favorite movies. It's a Timothy Carey film. Oh, I know this picture. You know it? Oh, God. John Cassavetes' favorite comedy. Yes, yes, yes. The World's Greatest Sinner. Right. World's Greatest Sinner know this picture. You know it? Oh, God. John Cassavetes' favorite comedy. Yes, yes, yes. The World's Greatest Sinner.

Right. The World's Greatest Sinner is this movie. Gilbert, you have to see this goddamn movie. It's Timothy Carey, who is a fucking lunatic, and he wrote, produced, shot, starred in, directed, edited this movie. It took him five years to make. He would make it piecemeal. He would shoot some, and he would kind of. It's him five years to make. He would make it piecemeal. He would shoot some.

It's legendary. It's this black and white movie about a guy who decides he's got an insurance salesman. He decides he's got it and forms a rock and roll band and forms a religion. And the soundtrack was done by a then 18 year old. I used to know this. Give me a hint.

I can't really think of a hint. I'm just going to tell you. Frank Zappa. Yes. And it is so goddamn bonkers, but really, really funny. Okay, we'll watch that one. It's called The World's Greatest Sinner. You'll love it.

See, now this is something also that gets me. It's like years ago, they could make these weird films that are totally out there. Like Spider Baby. Yeah. Oh, God, I love Spider Baby so much. are totally out there. Like Spider Baby. Oh, God, I love Spider Baby so much. You're going to get him on the show. You did? We're going to. And it's like, now, when they make a movie that

looks like it's going to be weird and out there, you know they made it totally conscious. The world's greatestest Sinner, Timothy Carey thinks he is making a serious statement on our times, and he's a goddamn lunatic. But he does not think he's making a crazy movie.

He's not tongue-in-cheek. He's not trying to be funny, and that's what makes it so amazing. And same with Spider-Baby. A subgenre of crackpot movies. Yeah. Movies made by guys who think they're vision subgenre of crackpot movies. Yeah. Movies made by guys who think they're visionaries. Deadly serious.

Yes. Yeah. Like, well, obviously The Room would be the grand, maybe the granddaddy of that. All of Neil Breen stuff is amazing.

Neil Breen, I can't think of a title. Look up Neil Breen. Okay, not familiar, but I'm writing it down. He is the Tommy Wiseau of, oh boy. Writing it down.

Another star and director. And then there's a guy, oh, what the hell is his name? He made a movie called, it's either called Road to Revenge, but it's also called Get Even, but the spacing on the title, he squashes it together so the title card says Get-a-vin. And he is, oh my God, you have to, they're amazing. Classic. Total vanity projects

but also, I'm bringing the masses something that will change the world. Yes. And you watch and go, what the fuck is wrong with this person?

By the way, both you guys did TCM Essentials. What did you pick for your Essentials? Which is the late, great Robert Osborne. Yeah, I did it with

the great Robert Osborne. Both did. He was terrific. Oh man, he was so cool. Lovely guy. So cool. Oh, I did it with the great Robert Osborne. Both of them. He was terrific. Oh, man, he was so cool. Lovely guy. So cool. Oh, and my movies were The Conversation.

There you go. Freaks. Well, because you're such a huge Shields and Yarnell fan. More Yarnell than Shields. Yeah, they're the mimes in the beginning. Yeah. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. With Cindy Williams. Yeah. With's right. That's right. Yeah. With Cindy Williams. Yeah. With Cindy Williams. Very good. The conversation. Forgotten that. Freaks.

By the way, Freaks was the only time in a movie, because I've been to a lot of movies where I've seen parents just bring a kid. Yes. And then you want to go, I don't want to be the ass with it. It goes, don't have your fucking kid in here. Yeah. I went to see Maniac at midnight, and there was a guy holding a baby. William Lustig.

And William Lustig introduced the film. He goes, thank you all for coming out. We made this movie back in 1979 on a wing and a prayer. Joe Spinell. And then someone went, Joe Spinell fucking rules. God bless you. He's dead now. So after the movie, I'll be in the lobby.

I might be in the lobby. Hang on. Now I'm leaving. Alright, enjoy the movie. That was his introduction for the film. Anyway. The other ones of the original of Mice and Men. With Lon Chaney. With Chaney Jr. And the swimmer. Talk about strange films.

The swimmer with Lancashire. And a very young Joan Rivers. And it's based on a John Cheever short story or a John Uplink short story? Yes, yes, yes. John Cheever. That movie is incredible. And that was one of those movies. It's weird, but not with that self-conscious sense of weirdness.

It's one of those that it's so different. It draws you in. Yeah. You can't turn it off. And it's got that actor in it from when we do a whole show talking about Chuck McCann. In the Right Guard commercials that Chuck McCann. Oh, that guy whose name I don't know. Bill Fiore.

Bill Fiore. Bill Fiore. Very good. A terrific character actor. My God, you impress me. And he's in that. Yeah. I cannot picture him. He's like a real sad sack.

Chuck McCann did these commercials for Right Guard a million years ago. High guy. He would open his medicine chest and the neighbor was on the other side of the medicine chest. And it was this guy, Bill Fiore. He was like a Gino Conforti type. Oh, okay. Oh, when you were talking about Tierney. Oh, boy. I once met Alice Cooper, who became friends with Groucho Marx.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. And he said the two of them would watch The Late Show together. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. And he said the two of them would watch the late show together. Oh, wow. And Groucho would be sitting there, he said, going, you see that actor over in that scene? He was a big fag. You doing old Groucho with poor Dick Cavett hanging on every word like, please get to a joke. And the guy, how do you describe him?

My favorite description was, he's skinny, but he somehow still has a pot belly. Yes, yes. And Rarity, oh God. Oh, but the other, you mentioned Freaks. That was the only, that was the one time where there was a guy behind me with a kid. It was at the old silent movie theater before it became cinema family. It was one time when I was like, and I wasn't being mean about it. I'm like, your kid was like eight.

I'm like, you should take your kid home. He shouldn't watch this. And I'm not, and he's like, oh, it's an old movie. I'm like, this is not what you think it is. And it's really going to mess him up. I'm just telling you. And I think they stayed for about 15 minutes. And the kid was like, I want to go.

The whole movie of Freaks, even when it's not a scary scene, it's still scary. Oh, it's disturbing. Oh, that long shot of the woman out in the woods with him and they're just kind of frolicking around is so disturbing. Oh my God. So disturbing.

Oh God. What were the movies you picked before we lose track of it? Oh, really quickly, 310 to Yuma. Oh, it's a good one. The Glenn Ford original. Glenn Ford and Van Heflin, which basically the whole movie is about an older gay dude who is sick of his young rough trade, and he wants to settle down with another rugged old bear, and he tries to seduce Van Heflin if you watch it i mean it's it's he's lying in the bridal suite up in the bed just going why don't you just join me my gang

and his his glenn foyd's attendant is this guy skinny blonde guy all in black leather and it looks like this little like rent boy it was it's the weirdest and it's an elmore leonard script that's right yeah they remade it not not as right. Yeah. They remade it not too well with Russell Crowe. Actually, they remade it really well, but it was more like just rugged, manly, violent, but the original for the 50s. And then it had the great song sung by the guy that sang Blazing Saddles. Judge Frankie Lane. Frankie Lane.

Yeah. So I showed that. Judge Frankie Lane. Frankie Lane. Yeah. So I showed that. I showed the, oh, God, why am I blanking? Kind Hearts and Cornets.

Oh, that's wonderful. Which is Alec Guinness playing seven different assholes being killed off by an even bigger asshole. And then I showed this Colombian film called The Wind Journeys. Worst title for a great movie. It was made in the early aughts about a guy who's convinced he has the devil's accordion and must travel to the edge of the world and throw it off. Jesus. And it's the low-budget shot in Colombia as he travels through the landscape, and it's so beautiful, and he's got this accordion. He believes it's the devil's accordion, and it makes him do weird stuff.

It's brilliant and then this belgian comedy called ultra about these two douchebags one of them is a stoner that drives a tractor combine the other one is a professor at some shitty college and they hate each other they get into this huge fight out in this field and the combine like malfunctions and crushes both of them and makes them both quadriplegics and then they travel across belgium in these little motorized wheelchairs to go to the company ultra that built the pharmacopoeia to sue them and you follow these two and they become even they're paralyzed they're even bigger assholes now and it's so it's like this classic laurel and hardy comedy but there's in these little and you see these long shots of them just buzzing along.

I'm not doing it justice, but it's so funny. Where do you find these offbeat pictures? I mean, there's this subscription service called Film Movement where every month they go to film festivals and they find really cool films that get all this attention. You've seen this. You go to a film festival, film gets all these awards. It doesn't get any distribution. So every month they send you a new film. And they send you really interesting stuff. They sent me Ultra. I'm writing these down. Wind Journey sounds like.

They should have called it The Devil's Accordion. That sounds like a Herzog thing. Yeah. It's amazing. Pretty out there. Yeah. And then Ultra. A-A-L-T-R-A.

Let me ask you real quick a couple of questions. Yes. From listeners. Oh, God. We're dying to ask you a couple of questions from listeners. Oh, God. We're dying to ask you questions. I'll go quick. Chris Hankinson, how is production on MST3000 going? We are starting next week, and that's all I can say.

We don't want to talk about the movies that we're doing. Conniff was here. Oh, he was. Right in that seat. Okay, but we're doing some pretty interesting films this time around. The last season we did, season 11, there's a film in there called Carnival Magic. My brother was a writer on that show, and he was like, I'm going to commit suicide if I have to watch this movie. Because he was writing the jokes.

I came in one day, and he was like, I'm going to kill myself. This is the worst movie I've ever seen. Your brother Matt. My brother Matt. Funny guy and a great Twitter feed. Funny guy, great Twitter account. This is quick from Big Daddy. Patton, welcome to the GGACP universe.

You poor man. You said Repo Man was a game-changing inspiration. Yes. Can you talk a little bit about either Repo Man, Barbarossa, or Richard Pryor live in concert? Well, Richard Pryor live in concert just goes without saying. It was what made me go, oh, a comedian is like watching a movie, a really good one. It's just as good as seeing a movie because of all the little images.

I saw it in a theater. Yeah, of course. Now, when you saw that film, were you aware that Marlon Brando fucked Richard Pryor in the ass? You know what? It was weird. I saw that movie when I was 11 and as little as I knew, I could sense. I was like, you know what? This is going to sound really weird coming out of an 11-year-old.

Pretty sure that guy was fucked by Marlon Brando. He has a fucked by Marlon Brando vibe coming off of him. You're a hip 11-year-old. When you were a little kid, you said, is that Marlon Brando's cum dripping down Richard Pryor's leg? Is that Kurt's cum on Pryor?

He's got Kurt's cum on him. Repo Man was just that thing of, it hit me right at the right time i'm a teenager i'm in the suburbs i'm bored um i i discovered punk way too late and just that movie about having a job where you get to be an asshole to other people that was the word that was where my head was you just take stuff from people they can't do anything about it and then somehow there's aliens and it also was like it it was it's shot in the shittiest parts of la but it makes them look so beautiful you just want to go live i don't know that movie is just i i want to live in that movie as grimy and horrible as it is and and harry dean stanton

is non-stop we love harry dean stanton oh my god he's so wish we'd gotten him here but i heard him on benson's podcast and he basically just he was on doug loves movies at a live episode do you know about this no oh you can track it down and he basically sat there and gave monosyllabic responses yeah for about an hour so i could totally see we didn't pursue it no this isn't gonna go anywhere we will return to gilbert gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. That's the sound of fried chicken with a spicy history. Thornton Prince was a ladies' man. To get revenge, his girlfriend hid spices in his fried chicken.

He loved it so much, he opened Prince's Hot Chicken. Hot chicken in the window. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. I just got to ask you quick about Ratatouille. Oh, boy. And Mike Giacchino's coming here, by the way, too, in a couple of weeks.

I'll just, yeah, the rat is anti-Semitic. And there's enough clues. Let Gilbert, yeah, let Gilbert do his thing. Well, that show, it'll appeal to the masses. Now, I can't say anything sentimental. Oh, God, go ahead. Or talk about how goddamn good it is. And how well it holds up. I mean, it's just Or talk about how goddamn good it is and how well it holds up. I mean, it's just...

It is so goddamn good. I mean... Not a false move. Not a false moment. No, not a false moment. None of the stakes are ever false. Bradbird is just so... They're rats, and you're rooting for these goddamn rats.

And he went out of his way to make them look and act like rats. Didn't they study rats? Weren't they studying, the animators were? Studied rats, studied kitchens. They studied, they went and they built a separate computer program so that the tiles in the kitchen would all be uneven. Because they would go to these great kitchens, all the tiles were uneven, and they made sure that it wasn't this nice grid. Because they would go to these great kitchens, all the tiles weren't even, and they made sure that it wasn't this nice grid. They – I had a friend who was a chef.

He's like, oh, my God, in the background, there's always a pot of potatoes and water, which every restaurant – they always have potatoes soaked in the water, ready to go. That's what restaurants have. It's a great – They got all these little – but they're just little throwaway background details. It's a great movie about creativity. And, yeah, and how – And individuality. You can't decide where creativity is going to land and if it lands someplace weird, help it out.

Help it out if it lands someplace weird. And that whole cast, I have to say, I was just watching it again last night, Ian Holm and you and Janine and Brad and Peter O'Toole. The animators would have fights. They would draw lots to see who got to animate Peter O'Toole's lines because they played me his dialogue years before they animated it. I spent two years on that.

Were you always alone, by the way? Because I know Gilbert was in the booth because Gilbert didn't interact with Robin Williams. No, I was always alone. Most of what I would do it alone. Most voiceover you are alone. Yeah. Sometimes I would do it with Jonathan Freeman who you are alone yeah yeah sometimes i would do it with jonathan freeman who was the who was jafar oh oh because you're going back and forth yeah but even then when

you're with someone they don't want you overlapping your dialogue you're still very much doing it by yourself that's what always gets me when i hear these stories oh god when God, when Robin and Gilbert were together in that sound booth, that would be crazy. And I thought I never ran into him once during the break. No, no. Most voiceovers, I do a lot of voiceover, and I'm always alone. But I heard the Simpsons, or at least they used to, do it like an old radio show.

Maybe they did at the beginning. And also also think of when they were starting out. I mean digital technology, recording technology, you can record shows anywhere. There's a show that I do for SyFy called Happy where I do it over Skype with direct – so it all keeps changing. You can do it so that – and I think a good actor can even out of out of context, can figure out how the line should be and how it should land. And I had Brad Bird directing me, so he really knew exactly what he wanted. He had the whole movie in his head, and he knew what the other performances would be like and how they'd bounce off of each other. You show a lot of range. I mean, I'm watching the scene last night in the sewer.

Oh, man. You're turning the page, and Gusteau is coming alive off of the cookbook. And it's heartbreaking. Yeah, it's really. And also the scene where he is kind of breaking off with his family. He thinks it's one or the other. And that's really, really sad. Yeah.

Yeah. The world we live in belongs to the enemy. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remy. When all is said and done, we're all we've got. No. What? No. What? No.

Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is, can only be, more of this? This is the way things are. You can't change nature. Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide. Where are you going?

With luck. Forward. Terrific performance. How did he heard you in a... He was driving around. In his car? In his car. They were having trouble casting the lead. I didn't know they brought me in for the lead, but he was driving around. In his car? In his car. They were having trouble casting the lead.

I didn't know they brought me in for the lead, but I was driving around. He was driving around in his car. They played a bit of mine for my first album where I'm talking about steakhouses. It's very filthy. I talk about a gravy pipe going up your ass. It's horrible.

So he says... But he was like, that's the voice I want. And he did, and I've never seen it. But he apparently said he sent him a pencil test of Remy doing that routine. And he showed it to the Disney people. And they were like, is he going to curse? I was like, no, he's not going to. He's going to.

It'll be his voice doing the dialogue. And then they brought me in for a couple of reads. And I thought I was just coming in to read for a rat. I did not know I was coming in for the lead. And then after a couple weeks, they were like, okay, you're Remy. And I go, and who's Remy? And they're like, the rat that's cooking. I'm like, wait, what?

And it went from, you know, I pop up on shows to I'm going to be the lead in a Pixar movie. You referenced in the book when you went to see Toy Story that you had no idea. You say 12 years into the future if I had any idea that I was going to be starring in a Pixar movie. Wouldn't have believed it. Also, I was just like, I thought Toy Story was this brilliant one-off, and I didn't know that they would build this empire of brilliant films. You know what I mean? Like, you see it.

They're all so good. And Toy Story 2 has the scene that always, you know, the. John Cusack scene. Oh, God. I can't even think about that. Me neither. It makes me cry so hard. Yeah.

You know. They're all good. I always think like when I did Aladdin, it's like had that been done like maybe a year later, it would have been like Tom Cruise would have been the parrot. Leonardo DiCaprio would be Jafar. Right. Yeah, that's the one thing about really good animation is they don't necessarily go for a celebrity because a celebrity voice doesn't really give you any value unless they're good.

I'm not saying never use a celebrity. It's not like Eddie Murphy is worth his weight in diamonds as a voiceover actor. My God, he's amazing. Antonio Banderas diamonds as a voiceover actor. My God. He's amazing. Antonio Banderas is an amazing voiceover actor. But there's other huge stars that they brought in to do voiceover. And you spent too much money and you wanted the name, but then they can't actually sustain a character. And it's like kids watching the movie don't know who these actors are. And they can bring in – look.

watching the movie don't know who they don't care and they can bring in look what's weird is voiceover is very very just like live acting is sometimes a brilliant live actor ends up being a terrible voiceover actor it has nothing to do with their skills and actually it's just a different i've i don't want to name names but there's been some because i did a lot of punch up on animated movies there's been a couple where they brought in some pretty big brilliant actors you know like oh boy did you guys waste your money this person did not deliver this was not you know whereas then there's other times you're like again going back to eddie murphy is yeah just amazing as a voiceover actor can't believe you i can't believe what has he done he did mulan and he did the shrek movies is that it that's insane and then he did the pjs for. Is that it? That's insane. And then he did the PJs for Fox. Right. I think that's it. Why isn't he constantly doing voiceover?

He's so good. Maybe we need an Iago Remy movie. In the time we have left, Are we done? Mr. Oswalt. Would you like to? Listeners, I'm so sorry you've gone on this journey with us.

It's really like nowhere, did it? I think this is actually a good show. Oh my God. Do you want to? Listeners, I'm so sorry you've gone on this journey with us. I think this is actually a good show. Oh, my God. Do you want to talk about, you can talk about, I'm going to give you your choice. You can tell those funny Blade stories. The stuff about Wesley Snipes is fucking hilarious. I'm going to lay off of those. Now I feel bad. He was going through such a bad time.

Okay, let's not do that. I feel like in the future I'm going to be doing some movie where I have some kind of crazy meltdown. There's going to be some guy going, just write it all down. For all I know, he was having a horrible week. You want to tell us about...

So tell us that one. Instead, would you like to talk about working with the great Jerry Stiller? Oh, Jesus. Well, I mean, Jerry Stiller was, he was great,

although sometimes, and I don't think he meant to do this, but his way of reading lines I mean, Jerry Stiller was great, although sometimes, and I don't think he meant to do this, but his way of reading lines was so inherently funny that sometimes he would get a laugh on lines that he kind of needed to not get a laugh on because it would hurt the joke after it. Like the way he would come in and go, hello, children, but it was always so weird. That would get a laugh.

You're like, no, that's to just set the scene. children, but it was always so weird. That would get a lap. You're like, no, that's to just set the scene. He would get a lap. And he did a read one time on a line about he was with a bunch of, he goes, I remember I was hanging out with a bunch of bikers in the 60s, but that didn't, the line was,

but that didn't last long because they treated me very badly. But the way he read it, he goes, but that didn't last long because they treated me very badly. He put his head back, and you see him live this whole, which is, it was so disturbing that they went, let's do that again. And don't take that because that pause made the line not funny. It made it creepy. It was hilarious to me. But the audience was like, oh, wait a minute.

What is he referencing? So it was just that weird. And then he also just, like, he was in so many movies that I loved. Like, you know, he was in Lovers and Other Strangers. Yeah, he's got a poem. He's in Taking a Pillow, 1, 2, 3. Taking a Pillow, which all of his dialogue he improvised. Oh, I didn't know that. None of that was in the script, yeah.

That's cool. And the reason he improvised it, he says, because one time he blew a line. It's when Matho comes in and goes, this is Rico Patron on the weekends. He works for the mafia. Rico, tell these gentlemen the exciting things that are happening in the transit authority. And then he kind of looked up at it from his,

he goes, well, last week on 9th Street Station, we thought we had a bomb. It turned out to be a cantaloupe. And then he goes, all right, thanks, Rico. And he just walks away. And that was all. And then the director was all right, thanks, Rico. And he just walks away. And that was all. And then the director was like, say whatever the hell you want. So then he just kept riffing that whole thing about even great men have to pee.

I like how you said you learned to act on that show because you kept waiting to get the X. Oh, my God. Well, the first two seasons, I was so bad. I was so bad. And the two things that saved me were I really started honing in on Kevin James, who is a brilliant TV actor. And I don't say that to diminish him, especially sitcom acting is so fucking hard to do because it's so unnatural. It's hard to make it seem natural. And he could, he had that Jackie Gleason, Danny DeVito kind of thing where he could make it, you know, make bigness seem like very

real. Yeah. And so I had that going for me. And then I also had, I had this amazing weed connection. I had this guy, I was friends with this guy that grew this legendary weed out in the Midwest and he had moved to LA. And one of the show creators was a huge pothead. And I would bring this weed in. I would always bring him a little bit of the weed. And he was like, oh, I, you know, I feel like partially he kept me around because I had this really good weed.

And it gave me the time to learn how to act. Before I jump off voiceovers, because I just wanted to go back to it because there was something I lost on one of my cards. This is kind of interesting. You both played DC Comics villains. Did we? In voiceover, you played the toy maker. Yes.

In a Batman cartoon. gilbert i was okay i was two you were two yeah in the super boys series let me guess um mr mixleplex how'd you know i played i just had to be that voice i've been that in a bunch of uh no kidding tim daly No kidding. Tim Daly. The Tim Daly Superman. Yeah, the Tim Daly one. And I was also in the Superboy series. I did two episodes where I was knick-knack master of toys. What? Yeah. So you both played evil toy makers. Oh, my God.

On DC Comics properties. Yes. Well, I played the toy.. Oh, my God. On DC Comics properties. Yes. Well, I played the toy. What did I play again? Oh, my God. Toy maker? Toy maker. But then I also, in a college humor short, I played the penguin.

Did you? In a live action short, I played the penguin. And it was this really cool series called Bad Man. And it's, oh, my, why am I blanking on his name Pete Holmes played Batman but Batman is basically he's basically like

brain damaged he's like the dumbest human being on the planet but he does that voice oh my god you know he does the Christian Bale voice and they do

and I would say like a Christopher Nolan version of what the penguin would look like if he had used them in the movie. So it's a funny scene, but the makeup is so like, holy shit, someone should actually do this. Oh, wow. It's really cool.

You can look it up online. It's a very funny sketch. I – when we – one of my happiest moments, we had on Adam West. Oh, man. Adam on the podcast. And he said to me, he goes, you know, you would have made a great penguin. Yeah. Yeah, and I thought, wow.

And maybe a great Riddler. Yeah. Maybe a great Riddler. Well, there's a rumor. Very strange Riddler. Harlan Ellison pitched an outline for an episode of Batman that would have had Two-Face in it. Yes. But it was apparently they thought it was too gruesome,

and they didn't do it. And the rumor was they were going to, at the time, a very young Clint Eastwood was going to play Two-Face, going to play Harvey Dent. Yeah. That was the rumor. Do you know Harlan? Yes.

Yeah. I'm going to go visit him next week. Isn't he interesting? How's he doing? His mind is so goddamn sharp. He's doing some physical therapy. His body's kind of frail, but he just does not lose a goddamn sharp. He's doing some physical therapy. His body's kind of frail, but he just does not lose a goddamn beat. Yeah.

And I think it's just from pure orneriness. He just stays sharp because he's so angry all the time. He's the best. But he's so hilarious. Well, I asked for selfish reasons because we thought about having him on here. Oh, boy, that'd be great to talk to him. I mean, God, the stories that guy has. Yes.

Well, and he was also a crooner. He was? A lounge singer. Yes. I know he was a trumpet player. I know he sang. He sang. He'll tell you about it.

I know he used to also ghostwrite stuff for Lenny Bruce back in the day. I knew that, too. Yes. Yes. We should get Harlan Ellison on here. Oh, yeah. On the phone. One of the great storytellers.

One of the guys who told me so many stories but he did a when he wrote City on the Edge of Forever for Star Trek he had to get approval script approval from William Shatner

and he claims William Shatner rode over to his house on a motorcycle parked in the driveway read the script in the driveway but counted that

he had more lines than Leonard Nimoy and he was done great got on his motorcycle which makes if that is that he had more lines than Leonard Nimoy. Done. Great. Got his motorcycle. Which makes, if that is A,

I don't even think that's true. A, I want it to be true and if it is true, it makes me love him even more. I spent a Thanksgiving with Harlan Ellison and Len Wein.

Oh, really? Which was a late, great Len Wein. At Ellison Wonderland or at Len's house? No, at Len's house. I'll tell you about it. I'll tell you about it.

Have you been to Ellison Wonderland? I have not had the pleasure. With the secret rooms and the hidden passageways. Oh, my God. The weird, yeah. I never had that. I moved out of L.A.

Yeah. But I love the guy. Mick Jagger used to crash there. I know. Back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. And they, oh, you guys will love this.

There's a Bill Rossler softcore nudie flick called The God Son with Uschi de Gard, one of my favorite Russ Meyer actresses, that was shot almost entirely inside Ellison Wonderland back in the 60s. No shit. So if you want to see what his house looks like, go watch The God Son by William Rossler. I'm writing all this down. Yeah, and you have to see

Larry Cohen's bone. And goddamn Harlan Ellison gets to bury his face between Uschi deard's breasts. For which I will forever hate him. I remember asking him why he wanted to write for The Flying Nun back in the day. And he said, well, obviously I wanted to fuck Sally Field. Just the right answer. Yeah, you have to.

And it's getting late and Dave's here. You're wonderful. Do you want to quickly tell the Day of the Clown cried story because I know Gilbert will appreciate it oh god okay very very quickly

I came in possession of this shooting script for the Day of the Clown cried which I sat down and read this this was way back in the 95-96

and it's a god damn bonkers script because it was Joan O'Brien and someone Denton oh yes and they wrote a very serious script.

And then he kind of, you can see where he swooped in and did his comedy pass. Like the scene where he's pissing ice. Literally pissing ice. So I boiled it down to like the scenes that really worked. And I would do these invite-only stage readings of it with like David Cross and, uh you know um john glazer steven colbert narrated at one time um we did him in new york and la and then i got busted because the the la weekly caught wind of it and did a whole like pick of the week you know the day of the clown cried and then we were we were served with seize and desist papers at this theater we were going to

do it at in Santa Monica. I thought they were from Jerry Lewis, but it turns out it's from this producer who had the right to the original script, who wanted to do it, and at the time he was like, I have got, I'm not going to let a bunch of goddamn nobodies read this thing

in some shit-ass theater in Santa Monica. I've got Chevy Chase interested in this. And that night, you know, he was screaming at me, and Bob Odenkirk was in the cast. And so we did a whole show about being shut down, and Bob and Dave did a sketch about the guy finding out about it, and my favorite line was, Chevy Chase was born to play a clown who marches children into an oven.

And we are not going to let it. It was like so goddamn hilarious. So, yeah, it had all these like, you know, it was just, I don't know, it was one of those very surreal. And then you got to meet Jerry for that. Well, yeah, while I was doing these, the year that Henny Youngman died, they brought in, Jerry Lewis wanted to bring in all these young comedians to go up and read one of Henny

Youngman's jokes in a line. Oh, yes. As a tribute, which I was, I love Henny Youngman. Have you listened to one of his albums recently? I'd forgotten how fast the pace, it is a machine gun of jokes. I remember. There's no

breathing room. I once went out to lunch with Henny Youngman. Really? And it was great. Because he, that's who he was. But it's such a, people keep forgetting like they hear his jokes isolated. Yeah. And they go, okay, that's

a funny joke. I don't see why this guy. But it's not, it's the pacing is so relentless. After a while, you can but it's not the, it's the pacing is so relentless that after a while you can't keep up with the, it's like, it's like the death by a thousand cuts where after a while it just becomes almost excruciating how funny it is because it's these little laughs just keep building and building. And it's amazing. Let's do so. Um, and they were trying this out and then they ended up cutting the sketch and Jerry's sitting there and is always wearing shorts and his, and his's sitting there and he's always wearing shorts. Always wearing shorts.

And his zip-up jacket. But on his desk, he had that, the rumor was, he had that big silver briefcase, the bulletproof briefcase that had the reels for the day the clown cried in it.

That was the rumor that he would always carry it around and I'm like, I should fucking grab that and just run. I should grab it and run and then I will be chased around the city. There'll be helicopters but I'm like, if should fucking grab that and just run. I should grab it and run, and then I will be chased around the city. There will be helicopters, but I'm like, if I could just get this through a thing,

I could transfer it to videotape and just get it out there virally. Like I'd be in jail, but I would be this weird folk hero. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like a noir film where I have the day the clown cried and the city's trying to get me. Well, wasn't the rumor that he would go into a room with a suitcase and he would secretly record conversations? He would pretend to leave it in the room so that he would record what people said about him when he left? Yeah, they even made a Seinfeld episode based on that. That was the rumor.

Really? He would leave it and then come back for it and say, oh, I left my suitcase. But it was recording what people said about him. and then come back for it and say, oh, I left my suitcase. But it was recording what people said about him. The funny part about it is when you think about it, at first you go, oh, God, what an asshole. And then you think, God, what are people saying about me? It's an ingenious idea.

Well, I heard that Brian Grazier, I don't know if it's true. There's another thing that I've heard. I've actually heard this confirmed, which makes me love him. He apparently, when he goes and gets invited to someone's party, he'll have hidden in his pocket a little framed photo of himself, a rose, and a couple of candles. And he'll go into one of the other rooms and he'll set up this little altar to himself. And then people are like, why do they have candles and a flower in front of a picture of Brian?

Which I think is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Again, I want it to be true, and I also want to steal that. Like, go to a friend's house, and then just lay it on the lake. Why do we... Is there an altar to Pat? What is it like?

Oh, man. The funny idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And before we jump, I just want to mention that you also like the documentary. You tweeted about it. Oh, my God.

That documentary... So we give Neil Berkeley his props. ...is so... Because it's structured so brilliantly where you open up on the life of Gilbert Gottfried and they show him doing sketches and stand-up and oh my God, he's such a weirdo. And then you reveal the wife who's so sweet.

It's the opposite of the monster reveal. It's the shark in Jaws coming out of the water. But what the shark is is a quiet, normal life. And it's the last thing you expect to see coming in this documentary. And it's genuinely shocking. Like, oh, wait, his wife and kids are awesome. Wait a minute. What the fuck was that first 10 minutes?

I thought – Yes. I literally thought he lived – Well, you're in there too. I thought he lived in a bus station or something. Yeah, exactly. You show up in there. For a second.

But the way the opening is structured is so brilliant. Yeah. Because you just don't see that coming. Yeah. And it's funny because I didn't want to do it at all. But boy, what? Yeah, Neil Berkley. Yeah.

I have to give you those props. Anyway, it's called Gilbert. It's so good. The first 15 minutes are structured so brilliantly. Great reveal of your delightful normal life with your beautiful apartment. Really well. Again, I thought it would be one. Actually, you know what?

And I mean this respectfully. I thought you'd be living one of those classic Manhattan kind of misanthrope small apartment like crammed with Oh yes. You know because you see guys like that like Ratso Sloman

people like that that have that great you know like Like Joe Franklin's office? Yeah exactly. A weird like rat pack kind of thing but there's something

kind of beautiful about that too like yeah obviously that's how he lives and you're like oh my god that is the most beautiful apartment

I've ever lived in. What a wonderful life he's living. He doesn't deserve either. You have your nice, comfortable robe. I'm like, how the, you know, it's so great. And then you're brought back down to earth watching him wash his socks in a hotel sink. And then also when they, oh, well, you're brought back down to earth when he drags out from under his bed the gigantic post-apocalyptic Tupperware thing full of soaps and shampoos. Soaps, conditioners, skin lotions.

That is the... And that's the scene like in the 90s serial killer movie when the person realizes her husband's nuts when she finds the weird scrapbook or the weird box. Oh, yes. Oh, my God, he collects children's shoes. You know, like that kind of... That was a weird trope of the...

Played by Steve Rilsback. They always had, I called it the hanging scrapbook, where the killer would keep a shoebox or scrapbook full of incriminating clippings of autographs. But, like, out just like, I hope no one opens this drawer and finds enough stuff to put me in the gas chamber. I think they go in the apartment in seven

and everything's all over the walls. But they do that almost as it like, I'm talking about in movies like Misery and Single White Female and Fatal Attraction, there are these like things of like, hey, I hope no one opens that up and sees that I'm a massive criminal. But yeah, they would have these movies

where the walls were completely covered. Yes. Yeah, really. If anyone comes in here, you know you walls were completely covered. Yes. Yeah, really. If anyone comes in here, you know you're going to jail. Yes. Yeah. My favorite moment in the movie is Bill Burr saying, what the fuck is he riding the bus?

He didn't think anybody's going to, is somebody going to see him and go, is that Gilbert Gottfried? And at that moment, Neil cuts to this black woman doing a complete 380. And she goes, is that Gilbert? So wonderful.

Yeah. This was fun, sir. I'm so glad I got to do this. Ben, this is what's so insane about this is this is the first time we've met. The first time I've ever gotten to meet you. Yeah. And I've heard so many, literally when I was- Is that true? First time we've met. The first time I've ever gotten to meet you. Yeah. And I've heard so many,

literally when I was- Is that true? Oh, first time ever. Unbelievable. And yes, I'm taking a picture and I'm saying, think of how my day started. This is how it ended.

I'm going to put that on tape. Yeah. How is it possible you're such fans of one another? Yeah. It's weird. Well, because you work, when you get to a certain level in comedy

and this isn't a brag, you don't get to see your friends as much. Because now you're working, you're not doing the hang. No. You're all hanging out. Like, you know, there was a time when I would see Blanca Patch and Brian Posehn and Greg Barron every day of my life because we had all day. And then when you start getting busy and working, I don't get to see Brian that much. And we're still like best friends. And I'm not upset. I'm happy he and working. I don't get to see Brian that much, and we're still like best friends. And I'm not upset.

I'm happy he's working. I don't want us to be hanging out for five hours a day because that means something's gone horribly wrong in our lives. Well, so the next time Gilbert's in L.A. Yes. Yes, you have one of two invitations. You can drive down to San Diego because Tippi Hedren invited us to come to the Lion Reserve. Oh, really? Yes, you can take him up on that. San Diego, because Tippi Hedren invited us to come to the Lion Reserve.

Oh, really? Yes, you can take him up on that. And a little more downscale, you can go to Bob Burns' house. I've already been. I live like three blocks from him, and I would go to his Halloween parties. Oh, you went to those? Yeah. Any of the best? I have an invitation to go to Guillermo del Toro's house,

which is, I don't know if you've seen pictures of the interior. No. Oh, Gilbert, go look up, right, Guillermo del Toro's house and look how he decorates the inside of his house. You'll lose your mind. And, and. It's, it's, it's the stuff you love. I, I, I did like a weekend at a club in Pittsburgh

and I was bored out of my wits during the day, as you always are right and and what's his name Savini Savini

Tom Savini no shit invited him after the fact and he's got a big house with all his monster stuff I got to tour Rick Baker's house and I have an open invitation

oh my god where Rick Baker lives his basement alone is insane oh my god he's right into Luca Lake. You guys will have to do. When you guys come out, let me know.

Rick will love to have you over. Oh, I'd love. And he is a fast. He worked on Star Wars, for God's sake. I know. He did the cantina scene, and he has all the original masks on the wall. And then can we go to Rosenthal's house for the pizza? Oh, absolutely.

Every Sunday. Are you kidding? Yeah. I'll bring you over. I'm in. He actually created a lot of the stuff that was in the Howling.

Oh, I mean, not only did he create it wasn't even that he created makeups. He created techniques and bits of hardware that are now just standard issue that he had to build from the ground up. They didn't exist until he built them. He's a genius. And there's a movie that he had to build from the ground up they didn't exist until he built them right brilliant he's he's a genius and there's a movie that he did the makeup for where if when

you watch it now you think if someone said this guy's going to be a legendary makeup artist right right he'd go go fuck his andoman. He did Octoman? Yes. Is that a Corman thing? Yeah. Half octopus, half man. I need to look, because I thought one of his early ones was this one they did on Mystery Science Theater called Squirm. Oh, that's the Jeff Lieberman movie.

Yeah, with the worms. This guy has a look at worm face or some weird kind of. Yeah. Yeah. But he's a genius. He is. He's a genius. some weird kind of. Yeah. Yeah. But he's a genius. He is a genius. Oh, brilliant. My God.

Yeah. Now, is he retired now? I think he's retired, but he does like, I mean, he does lectures and books. But his, you know, he's, of course he's retired. There's nothing left for him to invent at this point, you know. But the one good thing that's weird is now that he's retired, there's a generation of filmmakers coming up that have kind of rejected CGI

and are trying to go back to practical effects because CGI just doesn't stun anyone anymore. It's like, well, yeah, it's fake. But if you can find a way to do it practically, it freaks people out. Let this man go home. He's got to get up at 7 o'clock and be on television. Yeah, oh.

Alright, field trip in L.A. Let me, yeah, if you're coming, let me know. Oh, I want to watch you react to Rick Baker's house. That would be fascinating. And his, every year for his Halloween cards, the makeup he does for his family. Oh, wow. He is insane. I'll bet.

And what, the thing, just one more thing with computerization. And just one more thing with computerization. I think Roger Ebert said CGI looks real but feels fake. Stop action looks fake but feels real. Because there's a sense of wonder and magic to it that that you connect with whereas all you can the most you can do with cgi is just is go well that's technically very solid yes yeah but it doesn't thrill you yeah because i think with stop motion like jesus he had to do that with clay how did they pull that off yeah the guy fighting five different skeletons and then your brain goes, they had to coordinate

that actor. Yeah. Then they had to make sure to get the... It's incredible. Exhausting. Thanks for doing this, man. It's great to have you. I'm being told to wrap up.

Only about 40 minutes ago. Yes. Wow. Why split hairs? So, this has been Gilbert and Frank's... Nope. It's the other show. Oh, this...

Well... Wow. Yes. You're consistent. Oh, this. Well, oh, yes. You're consistent. Oh, my God. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we've been talking to a man who's going to go home, have sex with his wife. Oh, God.

And imagine that I'm fucking him in the ass like he's Ned Beatty. Meredith, please, if Meredith Salinger is listening to this, please, I'm going to make sure she does not listen to this podcast. Patton Hussle. We'll see you in L.A.

Thank you, guys. I use Patton. We'll see you in LA Thank you guys I'm just patting Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Thank you. Frank Santapadre, with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, and John Bradley-Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to Paul Rayburn, John Murray, John Fodiatis, and Nutmeg Creative.

Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.