Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 218. Andrea Martin

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

Tony and Emmy-winning actress Andrea Martin drops by the studio to talk about the long-lost era of variety television, the strange world of Internet celebrity, the Martin Scorsese-directed "SCTV" reunion and the origin of classic characters Edith Prickley and Perini Scleroso. Also, Merv Griffin signs off, Bob Dylan overstays his welcome, Lee Grant crushes on Gilbert and Andrea remembers her friends John Candy and Harold Ramis. PLUS: Señor Wences! "Cannibal Girls"! Dueling Floyd the Barbers! The return of Rick Moranis! And Andrea tells the only joke she knows! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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TD Insurance advisor to learn more. I'm Don Murray and you're listening to Gilbert Godfrey's amazing podcast. I love it. Thank you. I forgot one word. Oh, it doesn't matter. hi this is gilbert gottfried and this is g this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our guest this week is a writer, singer, and Tony and Emmy-winning actress, and one of the most original and admired comedy performers of her generation. You've seen her in popular movies like Cannibal Girls, Black Christmas,

Club Paradise, Inner Space, Wag the Dog, Night at the Museum, Secret of the Tomb, The Producers, Hedgewig and the Angry Inch. Hedgewig, but close enough. Either one, I don't care. I'm stop listening. How to Eat Fried Worms. And, of course, as Anne Foller in one of the most successful comedies of all time, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Her TV credits are too numerous to mention, but what the hell? The Carol Burnett Show. The Martin Short Show. The Simpsons.

Norm. Nurse Jackie. 30 Rock, Martin, Martin Family, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Great News, just to name a few. But she'll forever be known and beloved by audiences as the unforgettable characters she created on the iconic sketch series SCTV including Edna Boyle,

Libby Wolfson, Perrini Scarolosa and the over eager and over sex Edith Brickley. You want more? She's also the star of the stage,

appearing in hit Broadway shows such as Fiddler on the Roof, Noises Off, Young Frankenstein, as well as Pippin and My Favorite Year, for which she was awarded the Tony for Best Actress in a Musical. Her funny and touching 2014 memoirs is called Lady Parts, and we're thrilled to welcome her to the show, one of our favorite performers, and a woman who claims that Cole Schaefer has always been fascinated with her breasts, the great Andrea Martin.

Wow. That's a tough act to follow. You've done a lot, Andrea. And it is my act, so that's a tough act to follow. You've done a lot, Andrew. And it is my act, so that's a crazy thing, yeah. Wow, that's a lot of stuff. You've done a lot. Yeah, I guess I have. Well, some of those movies, though.

All right. You were very thorough with IMDB, let me tell you. Because I do not know some of the movies I don't remember even doing. Some of us have seen Cannibal Girls. Yes, yes, Cannibal Girls. Now, listen, I'm very proud of Cannibal Girls. It was Ivan Reitman's second film after Foxy Lady, another movie that I did first. And I was just a kid out of college. And Eugene Levy and I improvised the entire movie.

And Eugene Levy and I improvised the entire movie, and we won the Best Actor and Actress Award at the International Horror Film Festival in Spain called the Sitkus Award. Like, it's still going on. Come on. That's pretty cool. Pretty cool. All right. The first movie's out of print, huh? The other one?

Foxy Lady? I asked Ivan if I could have a copy, and he said it was in the bowels of his home down the basement. He doesn't want to go and find it. He doesn't want to go find it. He doesn't want anybody to see it. And Frank and I were discussing something that I found very disturbing and irrational. You always wanted to be a Jew. being an irrational. You always wanted to be a Jew. You know, I don't know if I always wanted to be, but I grew up in Portland, Maine, and I'm Armenian. And, you know, there wasn't a very large community of Armenians. And we lived in a community of Jews, so I felt like that's where I belonged. It was easier to explain to somebody I was Jewish than Armenian.

So there you are. But that's cool to be Jewish. You know, we've done 220 of these, and he obsesses over every Jewish guest. He counts them like notches in a bedpost. See, you should write a book. It's cool to be Jewish. Now, but didn't both, I think the Armenians also were victims of a Holocaust.

Were they not? Yes, yes. In fact, Hitler said who, because the genocide was in 1915, and as he was committing all the atrocities, he said, who remembers the Armenians? It's not the actual quote, but very close to that, meaning we can get away with this, nobody remembers anyway. And, you know, the genocide not um accepted here in the united

states uh you know we could get into that wow it because um you know the turkey and the united states are allies and the turks disavowed completely said it was just a mutual war where both sides got hurt but 1 1.5 million Armenians were slaughtered. And it's well documented that it was a genocide. Your trip to Armenia, by the way, is one of the most interesting parts of the book. I love that. Well, I was putting together a one-woman show. Thank you for saying that.

And it dawned on me that I literally knew nothing about my – I mean, I knew what food that we ate. Right. And I knew that my grandfather's name ended with I-A-M, which all Armenian names do. But I really didn't know what it was like to stand on that soil, to be in Armenia, to see faces that looked like mine, and to really feel at home. So I went to Armenia, to Yerevan. I've been back a few times now because I'm associated with the Children of Armenia Fund. I host their benefit every year.

So that's my big charity, and it's an extraordinary charity. And, yes, it was kind of life-changing, really, too. It is. It's fascinating to read about it through your eyes as you kind of experience. And for all these people suffering and all their hardship, there's great camaraderie. They're welcoming to you. They're welcoming to visitors. They go out of their way for people. They do. I was just reading an article in the New York Times about a young woman, Turkish photographer and Armenian photographer, who together went to Turkey to document Armenians who had to, in order to live,

had to convert from Christians to Muslim faith. And the two of them together, their enemy you know so many enemies turks armenians or they they've been taught to be um it was a beautiful article that um together they were support for each other and then um armenians who had to lie for so many years saying that they weren't armenians came out and were able to speak the truth to these two young women. So I think there are changes slowly. And in Armenia right now, the prime minister was ousted and a new prime minister is in, a new president. So I'm hopeful for changes.

Let's hope. Yeah. And one famous Armenian, and of course I'm getting a block on his name. There are many famous Armenians. Cher. Cher. The Kardashians. Right.

Well, the one I'm thinking is- Charles Aznavour. Who else? The Doctor of Death. Yes. Kevorkian. Oh, Kevorkian. Yeah, Kevorkian was Armenian.

He was Armenian. Are you related to, was that a joke in the book, that you're related to Aznavour and Mike Connors who played Maddox? No, no, no, no. But when I was growing up, this was before the Kardashians. They were the only kind of well-known Armenians. And so we joked that we were all affiliated in some way. I thought we had something special on our hands there, that you were a cousin of Mike Connors.

You know, if I ever dared to do that, what is that called where you get your DNA? Oh, I've done it. Ancestry.com. I'm so scared about doing it. Oh, no, you should do it. My wife and I did. It's fascinating. Really?

You just spit in a vial and you send it in. Yeah, but did you find out stuff? What if I found out that I was an Armenian and I was a Jew? What if I found out? What if, Gil? He'd make you come back and do a part two. Yes.

It's not scary. Now, you did, I want to bring it away from any real emotions and feelings and bring it into the dirt. Sure. You did a production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. Yes. Is it true you fucked Linus? Oh, wow. I wouldn't have used that word. But he became my boyfriend.

Yes. Yes. Charles Schultz was mortified. I can imagine. Lucy and Linus, yes. Here's a reason that I moved to Canada actually. I toured in the United States with the Canadian company, the First National Company. And his name was Derek McGrath.

He's a successful actor in Canada. And he became my boyfriend on the road, and I would go back to Toronto. And I stayed there for 18 years because of that initial relationship. I just thought of Frau Bluka when you screamed, he was my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend. He was a bully and a brute.

Alright. Yes. So you fucked Leinish. Yes, thank you. And that's the important well that's all I wanted to know. I think it was an actual relationship. And you studied mime. I did. I studied mime with Jacques Lecoq.

That's not his real name. His real name is Harry Lecoq. I used that in my one-person show. Thank you for laughing. Because I'm like, is that funny or not really? That's Peter Marshall's real name, the game show host. Yeah, Lecoq. Peter Lecoq. Is that true? True. True. His name is

Jacques Lecoq. Yes, I did study mime there. Yes. Because I've always been fascinated with Fellini and clowns, real clowns and not the kind of – Do you feel it helped you as an actress knowing mime? I think anything helps you as an actress. Here's what doesn't help you as an actress, tweeting or Instagram. I mean, I think anything that expands your mind and you learn something new helps you as an actress. So, of course, it did.

I lived in Paris for two years, and I don't know. I guess I had a lot of respect for physical comedians after studying for two years. You know, I loved Robin Williams. I thought he was a great physical comedian. Steve Martin, Marty Short, a lot of great people that didn't study mime. But I have a profound respect for physical comedy. physical comedy and you you were talking about the whole media thing the whole uh in you know instagram yeah social media yeah that it's one of those things you're kind of turned off

by i am yes yes i i am but you know if people want to do that as a pastime, I mean, I like to knit and go to the museum. But if people find it interesting to do, that's all right. You know, it's okay. But to me, it's nerve-wracking, anxiety-provoking, and kind of keeps me in a superficial state for many hours. I'm just thinking, did I look good in that photo? So I don't have – I'm not on anything. I don't have, I'm not on anything. I don't have anything. And I think you said that when you start thinking in terms of social media, then you're going, oh, maybe I can have a photo of me buying this coffee.

Yes, exactly. And that'll look, that'll be popular. Exactly. That'll be popular. Exactly. Boy, if you could really be, I guess people can become popular buying coffee and taking a picture. It's so weird to me now. I think in terms of stardom as Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts.

But nowadays, stars are someone who squeezes a blackhead and shows it on the computer. And what's that called now? What's that? When young kids are discovered. You mean YouTube stars? Yeah. What's that called? There's a name.

Oh, dear. Does anybody know in that room? What are you referring to specifically? The kind of people that are discovered. Internet stars? No, no, no. There's another word. Phenoms?

We'll find out. We'll find out. Doing research. Writing it on here. Dara's on the job. I think it begins with an I. Does it? What does that say?

I can't read it. Influencers. Influencers. Influencers. Yes, yes, yes. Very good, Dara. There you go. Of course, it's like these people they're like 14 years old yeah they go on a little chew gum film it on their phone put it on the internet

pranks are very big pranks yeah yeah but you know what you know when i was growing up in portland i used to rush home every day after school and watch American Bandstand. And really kind of it's the same thing, you know. Young kids from Philadelphia became famous from doing American Bandstand. And Fabian and Frankie Avalon and all those guys kind of became famous from that world, the Philly world. And I don't know, maybe it's just a different way for people to gain success. I don't know how long lasting it is, but, um, it's instant. And I guess, you know, you take anything that, um, that can give you a way in. So your, your, your, your point is that every generation has its, its, uh, its showcase. I think that's a really good point. Remember

queen for the day. That's really beyond this, but yeah. Yeah. And I find myself, and I'm sure you do too, the older you get, the more you sound like the adults of years ago going, oh, see, in my day, that was talent. Yeah. Well, you know, I don't know if I feel that judgmental. Certainly I say in my day, for God's sakes, because nobody knows what I'm talking about. But I think there's so much competition. I think any footing you can get. There was a young girl here who was interning. I think any way you can find your way in knowing somebody, being on American Bandstand, being an influencer, I say go for it. That's the

easy part. The difficult part is longevity. So, you know, if you can get your foot in the door, fabulous, and then work hard and have a career. So I don't feel as so judgmental, really. Did you send fan letters to Dick Clark? You were kind of so enamored of Bandstand. Completely. Oh, my God my god yeah I had a boyfriend a Kenny Rossi and Arlene Sullivan oh my god yeah yeah I used to have a locket that and I had Kenny Rossi on one side he was just a kid from Philly who danced every afternoon and on the other side it's I love Kenny um Andrea and I would toss it out my bedroom window every night hoping that maybe karmically he could find his way to me yeah i love it you saw something in the book you said a part of you

died when dick clark died yeah yeah no ryan c christa go that's not the same no we had avalon here by the way speaking of those philly guys you did we had him on the show oh my god 200 of these now yeah we had bobby rydell too oh my. I wished I'd been a fly on the wall. That would have been fascinating. Yeah. And Paul Anka. I loved Paul Anka. We haven't had Paul yet.

And you were saying about your career, thinking about it, like as far as what stuff, what parts to take and what parts not to take. And then you said nobody cares. What part you're taking? Yeah yeah like it's like to the public yeah no one really cares like if you did this movie that everyone said oh you shouldn't do that yes i think that's right here here's what i found out now in my life that people are thinking about me far less than i think they're thinking about me. Nobody's really thinking about me. Nobody's really thinking about anybody really but themselves and maybe a few influencers. Let's tie that around. That's my second city training. The ending is in

the beginning. Yeah. You know, sometimes my ego gets the best of me. I was on a flight from L.A. a week ago, and the pilot said to me, wait, I am old enough to know who you are. And I thought, wait, is that a compliment? No, I kind of, but you know, why am I expecting to, it's a terrible thing to be expecting to be recognized or lauded for what you've done. I think the great thing to do is pray for opportunities and keep getting better and surround yourself with people that love you. Didn't you come to a turning point there where you started saying yes more than you ever had?

Yes, I did. Interesting. Lee Grant had the same revelation. Did she really? Yeah. She wrote a book about it i find that like agents and managers yeah they justify their position yeah why if you're offered something they'll go no no really bad move you know and it shows that see there that's why you hire them because they know it. Well, it also gives them power. Yes.

They consolidate their power that way. Oh, exactly. My agent and manager are not like that. Yeah. It's a great collaboration. We've been together many, many years, and I will say to them, what do you think? And they'll come up with something. It's always about the material, actually.

It's very seldom about anything else. So it's kind of an artistic exploration. I really love our relationship. You're fortunate to have that relationship. What's that? You're fortunate to have that relationship. I am very, yes, yes. And to the general public, you know, like when you're in this business, you always think, oh, gee, let's see, that guy's bigger than i am yeah and but that guy

i'm bigger than him and and it's like but this guy's gaining on me and i'm getting and it's like to the public you know tom cruise and the guy that played screech are stars there's no dustin diamond uh from saved by the bell he's referencing okay yeah there's no yes i hear what you're saying yeah a guy you know robert de niro and a guy in a hemorrhoid commercial yeah yeah they're both big stars yeah yeah i know what you're saying you know what i what i watched the first part of and I was going to watch the second part before I came in here, because I thought, because you come from the world of stand-up comedy, and I've never done stand-up comedy, but I was watching Judd Apatow's documentary on Gary Shandling. Gary Shandling. And I found it, I guess I felt like maybe I'm not working hard enough.

That I was so amazed that even at the age he was, he was still thinking about jokes and material. And then I remembered the documentary on Joan Rivers. And to the day she died way too early, and Gary Shanley too, she was thinking about jokes, how to write jokes. You know, that's not a world that I've ever experienced, but I just find it so admirable to want to challenge yourself up to the very end. What do you think about that? We also had Bruce Stern on the show. Yeah. to want to challenge yourself up to the very end. What do you think about that? We also had Bruce Stern on the show.

Yeah. And he's in his 80s. Yeah. And he said he always wants to improve as an actor. For sure. But that's different than writing jokes, I think. But maybe not to you because that's your livelihood. It's writing. Well, Gilbert hasn't written a new joke since 1979.

But I'm working on my Robert Mitchum invitation. He's got a Lionel Barrymore bit that's going to kill you. Sentimental Hogwarts. Did you see that documentary? Oh, yes. It was moving. And what do you think about it? Oh, it was very good, yeah.

Did you know Gary Shanley? I mean, not well. I used to talk to him from time to time, run into him. Yeah. And you had... I met him a handful of times, too. I found him fascinating. Yeah, was he fascinating?

Yeah, I found him fascinating for a lot of reasons. Uh-huh. But he was deep. Yes, yes. He was a deep thinker. Yeah. My one Gary Shandling story is one time I had a burst appendix, and I had to get another operation to pull my stomach back together.

Oh, my gosh. And I was talking to Gary Shandandling about it and he said you know what what hospital are you gonna be and i said new york eye and ear and he goes well that's a strange choice shouldn't it be new york stomach and ass he said that yes that's a good line you had Bob Dylan as a house guest wow

yeah that is some good research yeah amazing I'm impressed Gil wow you know cause

see Frank's impressed cause usually I'm here and and and Frank will yell out Andrea you know people with an A in their name. Well, I'm so impressed I'm not even going to point out the fact that she wasn't there when he was a house guest. Yes.

Yeah, she wasn't there. She was on the road. She's putting herself into the story. I'm going to put myself in. Well, I worship Bob Dylan. I just saw a documentary that Marty Scorsese did. We screened it because he's directing the SCTV doc. Yes.

So he had us see it. It was for somebody who idolizes Bob Dylan. It was so insightful and profound and saw a different side of Bob Dylan. But yes, he rented my home in Toronto when he was there. I don't know what he, maybe he was shooting a film. But when I got back to the house,

the only albums that were out were his. I thought that was fascinating. How bizarre. Yeah. And didn't you say there were burn marks? Yes. Burn holes

in your furniture. There were some marijuana holes on my comforter and furniture. So he would like light up a joint and burn a hole? Good for him.

Did you ever meet Dylan in your travels? No. Do you care to give Andrew a little bit of your Dylan bit? Oh, geez. Okay. This is my bit.

Bob Dylan talking to Floyd the Barber on the old Andy Griffith show. Yeah. Hello, Floyd. Hello, Bob. How are you, Floyd? I'm fine. Hello, Bob. That's hysterical.

Always loved it. It is just one octave lower than the other. It's amazing. Didn't Eugene do Floyd the Barber on CTV? Yes, hysterical. I wish he'd been here. We've got to get Eugene in here. You guys do a dueling.

We had Dave on the show. You did? Yeah, Dave was here a couple of weeks ago. On wish he'd been here. We've got to get Eugene in here. You guys do a dueling. We had Dave on the show. You did? Yeah, Dave was here a couple of weeks ago. On Skype from L.A., but great. Of course, it is Bob Hope. Of course.

It is staggering. It is uncanny. Yeah. I mean, there are impressions and then there are impressions. Amazing. And that is... And now,

we're going to have a commercial, which in my day was when they would advertise a product and they'd refer to it as a commercial. They'd play it on the radio. Radios were like little boxes that sound came out of. Sound back then was something that travels into your ear and you would hear it. Baseball is finally back. Get in on Major League action and swing for the fences with BetMGM,

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through the Mila Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. Live from Nutmeg Post, we now return to Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Podcast. This is something that will fascinate Gilbert. You loved variety shows. I love this part of the book.

You had a soft spot for animal acts. Yeah. But particularly, a particular talk show and a particular animal act. Oh. Are you talking about the Ernie Kovach show? Well, no. I was talking about the Marquis chimps on the Sullivan show. Oh, I love those chimps.

Us too. We've talked about them. Oh, my gosh. Those chimps were, they could ride tricycles with little skirts on. Yeah. They could jump over each other with like a blouse and a vest. Is that story true? That was pretty amazing. Yes. Tell Gilbert that story true pretty amazing yes with the tell gilbert that story it's wonderful oh my gosh let me see if i can remember it so it was on the ed

sullivan show the marquee chimps and um uh the the the act was um let's say it was three minutes long that mark mr marquee um and so the stage manager came up to him and said you know you've got to cut the act because we're over you have to cut it he says well what do you mean cut it they're chimps i can't say to them we're going to cut the act so instead what they did he said instead you know what we can do? Let's start the act behind the curtain and two minutes in, just raise the curtain and we will be in the middle of the act. And that's how they did it. I'm a really bad storyteller. No, I like that story. Okay, I love that story.

So, okay. Your heart bleeds for the chimps. I love the chimps. They're working their hearts out behind a curtain. They're working their acts. And nobody's seeing them. They're working their hearts out behind a curtain. They're working their asses. They're back there jumping on trampolines and on handlebars. And the curtain's down.

And as soon as two minutes is up, the curtain rises. And they only get one minute and then they bow. And the scary thing is you don't want to piss off a chimp. Because those are some vicious animals. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather be in a cage with lions you would chimp chimps i mean oh i there were two stories one a man who was totally mutilated by chimps that was that his pet was no i think he was near some nature reserve. Okay. And then some woman. Yes, and she has a first face transplant, right? Yeah, that one was famous. And the man, they said, they like bit off fingers and toes.

We've had guests that were attacked by chimps. Yeah, and- Danny Bonaduce was here, and he was attacked by a chimp on a sitcom. And they said his genitals were mutilated. So these are some mean, mean. And Dick Miller

bit a monkey that he was doing a scene with to show the monkey. He had to show the, you know Dick Miller from all the Roger Corman movies?

You'd know him if I showed him to you. Oh, he's one of those oh that guy. He's one of those oh that guy faces that you'd know immediately. But he was doing a scene

with a monkey and had to bite the monkey. He bit the monkey back. What? Yeah, it's crazy. Don't work with chimps. The thing with variety shows like Ed Sullivan and stuff. And Carol Burnett. You know, first of all, there were like two channels on.

You had to watch that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what was funny is you were forced to get a taste of other things. And so you might want to watch a comedian or the monkey act. Yeah. And you didn't want to see the opera singer, but you were forced to. And then you go, okay, that wasn't so terrible. Yeah, no, not at all.

I completely agree with you. You never said, I'm going to go and have a little snack and come back. No. First of all, you couldn't pause. Yeah. And you were kind of a captive audience. You're absolutely right. Some acts were better than the other.

You know, I love the guy twirling the plates. Yeah. He was one of my favorites. And I love – Senor Wences? Senor Wences. Senor Wences. Yeah, love that. But you'd watch some like opera singers and actors doing their

dramatic thing. And then you'd watch Kate Smith sing The Bear Came Over the Mountain. Maybe it wasn't your cup of tea, but you just stuck with it. But yeah, you got a taste of it. But even that night, the Beatles were on in 64. Yes. You got Frank Gorshin. Yes. You got Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill. Alan and Rossi. Right. Everything. Oh my got Frank Gorshin. Yes. You've got Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill. Alan and Rossi.

Right. Everything. Oh, my gosh. There was Oliver. Wayne and Schuster from Canada. Wayne and Schuster. I think they got the star of the Sullivan Show. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice reference. Yeah. Wayne and Schuster. You know, they try to bring a handful of times. They've tried to bring back variety. Right. And they just can't do it no why do you

think i don't know it's like now they make it camp they say oh look at us we're doing a film pieces which is then it's like saturday night live or i don't know snl still kind of a variety show it is kind of a variety show you You're absolutely right. But not... But there was something very innocent and you knew that it was happening in the moment because it was live. You miss them,

don't you? Variety show. I don't know if I'd have the patience to sit through things that I don't really like. I heard you say you miss Kovacs

and you miss the Gleason show. I loved Ernie Kovacs. Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca. I mean, it's... And Jackie Gleason. They have wonderful acts on beautiful choreography.

Yeah, June Taylor dancers. Yeah, June Taylor. Wow, I am dating myself. Dear God. Let's talk about an influencer. Come on here. Let's talk about a kid that puts makeup on. That's what this show is, Andrea.

These are our strange obsessions. Oh my God. Yeah, this is what we talk about. All right. So tell us, you got... What is your demographic, like 90? We've had 10 90-year-olds on this show. You've had what?

We've had 10 or 12 people on this show over 90. Wait, that's... We had Larry Storch, Peter Marshall, Dick Miller, Roger Corman, Lee Grant. Is Lee Grant 90? Oh, she is. We had Carl Reiner. We had Norman Lear and Dick Van Dyke.

And Lee Grant's in love with me. And Lee Grant has a little fixation for my partner over there. You know what? Could you be attracted to a 90-year-old woman? Why not? Could you be attracted to a 90-year-old woman? Why not? And that's funny.

With this show, sometimes we'll have guests that we think are like the young guests. Like that's us appealing to the kids. And these guests are in their 60s. Yeah. Well, it's a history show, Andrea, and the older people have the history. Oh, okay. Wonderful. What kind of history are you going to get out of interviewing a 30-year-old? You mean you don't have any 30-year-olds you interview?

I think our youngest guest was Josh Groban. Wait, that's phenomenal. Josh Groban. And Apatow. Well, he's almost my age. But who else was young that we had? That's about it. Yeah.

Yeah, usually if they're in their 60s. Did you see the movie The Disaster Artist? Yeah. Okay, we had the writer, Mike Weber, Michael Weber of that movie. I love that movie. Yeah, he's talented. And he's young. He's not even 40.

Okay. But this show is... I'm glad I have my own teeth. I feel like I... Tell us about what happened in Canada after you went up there with the boy. The boy. I did Foxy Lady and Cannibal Girls.

And then I did Godspell with Gilda Radner and Marty Short, Eugene Levy. Mr. Schaefer. Paul Schaefer, Victor Garber. And that was kind of our start and show business there. And then I worked there for 18 years. And then SCTV became a successful cult following, but enough to bring me to L.A. And I had two kids and raised them in LA. And as soon

as they went to college, I moved back to New York, really, which I prefer. Yeah. Tell us about auditioning for Godspell too, because it's a fun thing in the book. Yeah. Because it didn't go well at first. No. And I was probably the only person that really had seen Godspell because I, you know, I'm a big musical comedy fan and it's kind of a something like Godspell really isn't a musical comedy. I guess it is, but it's not your typical musical comedy, right? So I'd seen it in New York, I'd seen it in Boston, and I'd seen it in Paris where I was living. And I knew that it was a show that I could do. She didn't have to really be skilled, really. You didn't have to be a skilled singer or dancer. But you had to have a personality and be a clown or kind of authentically, I don't know, energetic, I guess.

So I really desperately wanted the part. It was like American Idol. You know, gospel was everywhere. They went around the world auditioning, every city. Vienna, I had my Paris. And I didn't get the part. I didn't get it until, and I was devastated. And I had friends that Marty Short got the part. And Eugene, who I'd done Cannibal Girls with.

And Toronto was a small community, you know. It wasn't like, you know, there weren't that many actors. So it was devastating. And then two weeks went by, or three weeks went by, and Eugene called me and told me that the girl that was singing Day by Day was going to be fired, and they were going to have a party that night and the director was going to be there and he said come to the party and just be your zany cool funny self and i bet you get cast and i did that i went to the party and i guess i was funny and i was cast so i you know opened in the legendary company of god spell and i wish things were that easy, just go to a party and be funny

and you'll be cast in a George Clooney film. That would be fun. And how did you go about being funny? I think I was just probably uninhibited and probably spontaneous and just authentic. And when I'm really just being, when I was younger, I wasn't careful about, I wasn't thinking, how am I going to be? I was just kind of out there. And I had a larger than life personality. It's tamer now, Gilbert. The years haven't been good to old Andrea. That's not true. But, you know, I just, and I wanted it.

And, you know, I was probably ambitious and probably just, you know, entertaining. You said you weren't good at other stuff, too. Larger than life. You weren't good at skiing. You weren't good at skating. You weren't good at tennis. But you knew comedy was something that could come to you. Yeah, I knew that

laughter was something that I could have people do when I talked. Yes, I thought that. Gilbert, I've never asked you that question. I assume you were not a big letterman

in sports. In school. And like Andrea, when did you have... No, I had some scholarships to play football. I didn't know that. Did you have a moment? Did you have that epiphany, that moment of, I could be funny, I could do this?

Well, I remember my first laugh is when I was a little kid. I was either first grade or maybe even kindergarten. And no, even before that, I remember what my first getting an excitement from the crowd. I was very shy. Yeah. From the crowd. I was very shy.

Yeah. And I remember, like, the teacher, I guess in kindergarten, used to go, you know, Taylor here, Betty here or present. And they'd all do that. And then I remember my mother walking me to school. And I said, I I'm gonna say here and I bet it's gonna get a big reaction from everyone because they would always laugh they she would go Gilbert and I wouldn't say anything and they would always the kids would laugh at that and and so i was ready and and the teacher said gilbert and i went here and the place went wild that's amazing that's the first laugh that's the first documented laugh i've i've never gotten a laugh like that since oh my god do you have a mem a similar memory of this feels right, this feels good to me?

I remember when I was three, I think I had pneumonia, walking pneumonia it was called. And I was at Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine in a crib. And I stood, maybe I was two and a half, and I stood up because there were other children, and I stood up, and I kind of was entertaining the kids, and I thought, wow, I'm making people happy. That's nice. These kids who are sick and suffering, I don't know. I remember thinking it was a nice thing to do.

It wasn't so much I got a laugh, but it was a way to connect and communicate. It's interesting. Yeah. Because your parents were not in show business. Your father was a businessman. Grocer, yeah. My mom was. Yeah, and Gilbert's father ran a hardware store.

So there's no showbiz roots here. It's just whatever you guys gleaned from television and wanted to do it and I don't know jokes the only joke I know yeah I actually can't tell jokes it's about a hardware store a woman walks into

a hardware store do you know that joke? I think I do I've seen you tell it literally literally it's the only joke I know yeah I think I know

a woman walks into a hardware store and she says do you have a hinge and this is how I tell jokes I can't remember then I have to stop this story. A woman walks into a hardware store and she says, do you have a hinge? And this is how I tell jokes. I can't remember. Then I have to stop.

This is why I don't do stand-up. Okay. She walks in. She says, do you have a hinge? And the guy behind the counter says, yes. Would you like a screw for your hinge? She says, no, but I'll blow you for the toaster in the corner. Is that right? Yes.

Yes. Okay, but how would a real joke smith tell it? I want to hear how you would do it. With confidence. Basically, that's the joke. Yeah, but how would you say it? Woman walks into a hardware store. She says, I want to buy a hinge for a door.

And man says, would you like a screw for the hinge? No, but I'll blow you for the toaster. Fantastic. Word for word. I think in the corner is better rhythm. What? I think that better rhythm is no, but I'll blow you for the toaster in the corner. Yeah, that's good too.

And it has a cuss sound. I remember a joke that ended with, and it's one of those punchlines, funnier than the joke, and I just love the sound of it. And the punchline is, and the devil says, oh, yeah? Wait till the Jews go by in their speedboats. Wait a minute. What's the joke about? I love it. And that to me.

The joke itself. I don't find that funny but that punchline. That's great. Oh yeah. Wait till the Jews come by in their speed boats. Yes.

Hysterical. This is a new bit for you. You just go on stage and do the punchline. Don't even do the setups. That's fantastic. Oh my God. And going back to your Jew obsession, your unnatural.

My first boyfriend was Mark Finks. What? He was a Jew. Oh, her first boyfriend. Mark Finks. Jeez. Yeah. You really do have this Jew thing going.

I like a good Jew. You enjoy Behar. She says, give me a like a good Jew. You enjoy Behar. She says, give me a tall, skinny Jew. Doesn't she have a partner? Yeah, Steve Janowitz. So, you like a good Jew. Yeah. Which should be

on your tombstone. She liked a good Jew? Yeah. She liked a good Jew? Yeah. She liked a good Jew. Yeah. Wait, the best tombstone that I ever read was from a fabulous actress named, how am I not going to remember this now? What was she in?

Mary Louise Wilson. Fabulous stage actress. And she said she wants on her tombstone, she is the best thing in it. Wow. Isn't that good? Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I hope it's true, that Jack Lemmon's tombstone says Jack Lemmon in.

Wow. I think it does. Merv Griffin says I will not be right back after these messages. No, are you serious? in. Wow. I think it does. Merv Griffin says, I will not be right back after these messages. No, are you serious? Yes. Yes. No, wait.

I'll send it to you. That's pretty cool. I will not be right back. After these messages. Yeah. That's so good. It's pretty good, isn't it? Merv had a sense of humor.

By the way, I just had a, you know, I just pictured Rick Moranis doing Merv and the jacket lining. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In season three, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins wins the show starring Jeremy Allen White

Io Debrey and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again all new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27 only on Disney Plus that's the sound of fried chicken with a spicy history.

Thornton Prince was a ladies' man. To get revenge, his girlfriend hid spices in his fried chicken. He loved it so much, he opened Prince's Hot Chicken. Hot chicken in the window. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Okay, here I just found out something.

I heard that Jack, not Jack Clement, Murph Griffin was roommates, I think, in New York. It was Murph Griffin, Joel Gray, in New York. It was Murph Griffin, Joel Grey, and Robert Clary. Good Lord. Yeah.

Okay. You remember Robert Clary? I don't. He was the Frenchman on Hogan's Heroes. Diminutive actor. Okay. I was watching variety shows. Okay, you weren't.

She was watching the Marquis Chips. I was watching the Marquis Chips. And Clyde Beattie and his lions. You weren't watching enjoyable Nazi comedy shows. Tell us how Godspell, and I know it's not a direct path, but how Godspell eventually led to Second City.

Because you did some other things. You did Summer Stock. You did theater. You banged around for a while. Dinner theater. What's a nice country like you doing in a place like this a state like this I remember that show I was doing a lot of theater really, I was traveling all around

Canada doing Anne of Green Gables and Prince Edward Island and I don't know, Chrysler Industrials around the country with Marty Short and I was in Winnipeg doing Salvation. So I was in Canada, right? So I was just doing a lot of legitimate theater. And Gilda Radner was in Second City at the time, and they were about to leave for Saturday

Night Live, Dan Aykroyd and Gilda. And so they were looking for women. And I think I was doing What's Nice Country, like you, doing in a state like this. And Sheldon Patinkin, who was the director, came to see it and asked me if I wanted to audition. And, you know, Toronto was, as I said, starting out small with a small theater community.

And, of course, I knew everything about Second City. That was kind of the in place to go at night and um i thought oh that's a great adventure and a challenge but i was petrified auditioning anyway i did yes what did you audition with the you had to audition with five different characters so you had to come through the door, and I had no character, so I came, one had a limp, one couldn't see well. It's like Gabby Hayes. I don't know. You know, it was like that.

Just really bad choices that didn't take very much skill or imagination. But again, you know, very much like Godspell, I think you have to, I don't know, my feeling about Second City or Improvise, there has to be some organic part of you that's funny.

It's hard to teach comedy, I think. And those characters weren't born, I mean, Edna and Edith Prickley, they didn't come till later. Edna,

Edith Prickley came on stage at Second City with Catherine, but Edna Boyle Prickley came on stage with Catherine but yeah with Catherine but Edna Boyle those other characters were written

for SCTV right I mean to say you didn't have any characters you didn't have any characters you mean when I came to audition no I told you

a limp I was I was maybe loud in one I was quiet as another person so so you specialized in handicapped people.

That's it. But they saw something. So politically incorrect. What is wrong? They saw something, Andrea. They did. Well, I think that if you're funny or... Right.

I don't know. Who was in that company with you when you got in? Me. John Candy, Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty, Catherine O'Hara. Murderer's Row. Yeah. And then SCTV came out of that. Yeah.

And since we touched upon it, just tell the story of how Edith came to be because it's so much fun. Oh, so we would bring in our costumes from the Salvation Army or Goodwill, and we'd put them backstage, and sometimes we'd bring things from our own closets. And Catherine O'Hara had brought in her mom's 1950s full leopard jacket and hat that her mom didn't want to wear anymore. And I saw it backstage there there and I saw some black glasses and there was some red lipstick. And the suggestion from the audience was play a parent teacher's

after school meeting and your kids are all delinquent. So I grabbed the leopard jacket and the leopard hat and put on the glasses and put the red lipstick on. And I think I had a black straight skirt on at the time. and I came through the door and Catherine was a teacher and she said, seeing me, you must be Mrs. Prickly. She gave me the name and I said, that's right dear. Prickly's

a name, Sebastian's a game. And it just kind of it happens. See, I love showbiz stories like that. It's like Chaplin the story of Chaplin picking up the cane and the bowler

tell me about that backstage you know he just found the props and the little tramp came from wow yeah piecemeal props

just working things out on the fly I like the way things are born like that well I think a lot of things on SCTV were born like that I think

you know people probably don't know this character, but it was a character on Melonville Calendar called Yolanda DeVilbiss. And I didn't really have a character, but the hairstylist, Judy Cooper Seely, put a wig on me that, I know who this kind of person is. And then the makeup artist said let's whiten your teeth and she put like almost like a typewriter white stuff on on my teeth and I looked just the white teeth made me um I informed the character so that she had a hard time talking. I don't know why because she just had white teeth. But it made me feel that she was shy maybe because her teeth were so bright and she didn't really want to open her mouth when she talked.

And it just kind of informed. So just little moments like that give you characters, yeah. Of course. And this brings me to a question from one of our listeners Adam Dorn we do this thing

called Grill the Guest since you're on the subject of characters wait is this live? no no we just do little shout outs

to them he wants to know where Perini Scleroso came from so Perini came from a scene that's the only thing that we ever took from um a second

city scene dan akroyd and uh valerie bromfield did the scene at second city yes and she was um no way who was she was she the teacher and danny dann Danny was the student learning English? And it came from them doing it on stage. And then Catherine and I just ripped it off, I guess. But yes, there was no Peruni Scorosi. We made that name up. Always loved that character. The idea of the person learning English, right.

Tell us, as long as we're talking about Second City, and I think we also should ask about Scorsese at some point, and what's happening with this. But we didn't get to this with Dave. Tell us about John. Tell us a little something about John Candy, the late, great John Candy, who you were very fond of. Yeah, so there was nobody that wasn't fond of John Candy, and there's nobody still that isn't fond of John Candy. People are still very emotional when they talk about John, particularly men, grown men. John, I think, you know, Catherine Harris says this, and I think it's right,

John Candy is everything you thought that he was, he was. There was no artifice about him. And he would treat Prince Harry the same way as he'd treat the chef that was making the wedding cake. How nice. Yeah. What a nice way to be remembered, that grown men get emotional remembering him. Yes, isn't that true? Yeah, how sweet. He allowed them to be vulnerable, to feel.

It's a great gift. You said he did everything in a big way. He did do everything in a big way, yeah. Every day was a celebration with John. Nothing was subtle with him. The way he ate and drank and partied. I don't mean to say that he was ever out of control, but everything was robust and joyful and a celebration.

What a loss. Two beautiful kids and a lovely wife. Yeah. We were just with each other last weekend, Rose, his wife, and Jennifer and Chris, because we were shooting a panel in Toronto that is part of the documentary that Scorsese's directing. I want to ask you about that in a second.

Gilbert, did you know John Candy? No, never met John Candy. Such a fan. Yeah. Such a fan. Yeah. And he could make you cry? No, never met John Candy. Such a fan. Yeah. Such a fan. Yeah. And he could make you cry, too, with a dramatic performance. Plains, Trains, and Automobiles.

Yeah, really underrated as an actor. I bet. Well, I don't know if he was underrated. I think... I mean, as a serious actor. Yeah, but I think that the trajectory is that he was on that path. I think his career would have been limitless, really. He's capable of doing anything.

You know, like Nathan Lane can make you laugh. He can make you cry. Or Giulietta Messina, Fellini's wife. Or Chaplin. Or, I don't know. I think that's the biggest gift in the world. Or Gilbert. Yeah, Gilbert.

See if you can make me cry, Gilbert. You certainly made me laugh laugh that's for sure yeah what were you going to ask Gil? I must have been something about the Jews but I just can't tell us about you were in Fiddler on the Roof

I was yes yeah do you love me? do I what? I wish it had been that low. It was sadly an octave higher. I love that part.

That was a serious part, Golda. I love that part. Harvey Farris' theme was Tevye. And I got to, oh my gosh, Sheldon Harnick, who wrote the lyrics for it. I got to perform with him, and I was so intimidated. Although he's the most gracious, wonderful man. He's in his 90s. I know.

Sheldon Harnick, yeah. He's beautiful. He's got to live in the city. He does. He lives on Central Park West. We'll invite him. Yeah. He's wonderful and a great storyteller.

I sang that song with him, and I forgot his lyrics and improvised his lyrics while singing with him. Yeah, he's wonderful and a great storyteller. I sang that song with him and I forgot his lyrics and improvised his lyrics while singing with him. It was the most intimidating, the most devastating moment of my career. I was so embarrassed. I walked out afterwards and then I called him the next day and apologized, but he's so gracious. I think he might have said, I didn't notice. That's not true, of course. Everybody noticed. Because that song, everybody knows. I would buy you and Fiddler on the Roof. He thinks I'm kidding, but he did a dramatic reading a couple of weeks ago in here. You did a little Shakespeare.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, and you've never been cast in a single dramatic role? No. In all of your films? No. But I would buy you as the Fiddler, the part Gino Conforti played? Yeah. Maybe?

Well, Shakespeare, that's a great idea for you. Would you ever want to do Shakespeare in the Park in the summer? Well, it would have to be Shylock, of course. Not necessarily. What about The Fool and Lear? Oh, that's true, too. Yeah. No one knows you have those chops.

Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Then maybe I can make one of those real pretentious films that comedians wind up making. Like Jojo Dancer, Your Life is Calling? Ah, yes.

Yes. Or when Gleason played The Mute? Oh, yeah. G-Go. G-Go. Directed by Gene Kelly, of all people. Tell us about Harold Ramis, too. Another friend and another loss.

Oh, Harold. What a great loss. Oh, I loved him so much. people tell us about harold ramus too some another another friend and another loss oh harold what a great loss oh i loved him so much he wrote me some of the funniest things i think um connie franklin the world's most depressing singers i'm losing my hearing i've lost sight in one eye i'm sorry i can't hear you. Did you really say goodbye? Mama. The most depressing singer of her generation. The most depressing singer of her generation. He wrote me. He wrote

How to Fake an Orgasm, Dr. Cheryl Kinsey. He was oh my gosh. And then he directed me in Club Paradise. He was brilliant. He was just a genius. He could talk to you and do the New York Times crossword puzzle. Amazing.

He was, and also a wonderful actor. Yeah. Kind and self-deprecating. Really, really brilliant. See him in a movie called Stealing Home? Yes. Yeah, where he plays a straight part. Wait, no, wait.

I'm not sure about that. With Mark Harmon. I don't know. He's the sidekick. Okay. Very good. Are you sure that's not Steve Campman? Steve Campman wrote it.

Okay. I don't remember that. But Harold played the friend. And with this Martin Scorsese production, it actually brought Rick Moranis. Yes, he was fabulous. Who's been saying no to everything. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah.

It was so exciting, really, because he hasn't been in the spotlight, hasn't been interested, raising his two children, but now they're married, or one's married, one's getting married. You know, he hasn't been interested raising his two children but now they're married or one's married one's getting married you know he hasn't skipped a beat so we did this panel in toronto cameras everywhere and um jimmy kimmel moderated it and rick came to life doing characters that he'd done 35 years ago 40 years ago and i said to him afterwards, oh my God, you were a visionary. The world's really missed you and you haven't lost any of your comic timing or his specific character study. It was amazing. How nice. I hope he works more.

Because I heard they wanted him back for like the female Ghostbusters. Yes, I think he said no to it. Yeah, and that would have been like five minutes of work. Yeah, I know. He picked up where he left off. He really did. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah, it was great. It was really

fun and he was kind of the most comfortable on stage, I think. It wasn't in his head just really in the moment how did he feel about it i think he had a great time i think he had a really great time yeah i thought it was very successful i can't imagine what he was feeling to be up there after all these years yeah and it all i think he's very proud of the work he did and he should be um i don't know you. I don't know. You know, I don't know what makes people tick, but it was great to have him back.

Well, tell us your reaction when you heard that Scorsese, had you known all these years that he was an SCTV fan? No, I hadn't known at all. That was a big surprise to you? A huge surprise, yes. Catherine knew because she'd done a movie with him. After Hours, which I love. Yeah. And I guess she knew then.

But no, it was a real huge surprise and then i was wow they just picked up the phone and called you and they said that martin scorsese of all people wants to wants to do this yeah marty short told me and marty and i very close and he said yeah scorsese wants to um direct it and said yes marty marty short called marty scorsese and um the netflix said yes uh um ted sarandos who i met it was lovely man who runs netflix i don't know there are fans out there you know that we didn't it's you know you don't really know what fans are out there because we shot in toronto without a live audience in a bubble. And so.

The Patty Hearst analogy. Yeah. You said in the book. Yes. You were like, you were all in the SLA. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Simunis Liberation Army. You were all locked away from the outside world. All locked away, right.

Yeah. And then we came out into the light and people, but it does still feel surreal i have to say people wonderful tina faye or amy poehler or judd you know people i've worked with in the last few years and judd when you hear them talk or marty scorsese he knows every scene that we ever did, how the camera shot it, what angle it was. It's extraordinary. Honestly, I'm very moved that what we did touched people in a positive way or maybe informed their careers. It feels very surreal. Yeah. It's got to be rewarding to know. And I love what you say in the book about, and we'll get to this in a second. We have something happening here.

But I love that you say in the book that, you know, you'll always know each other. You'll always be in each other's lives. Yeah, it's absolutely true. Because a family, this is something that's unique to all of you, something you all went through together. Yes, and particularly for, you know, like Catherine, I think it was the first thing that she'd ever done she was a really young girl and um Joe Flaherty you know Joe you know Second City SCTV has been everything to him you know he would teach at Second City he was kind of the our kind of our mentor um and John of course. Yes, we're all, look at, so we hadn't all been together for years up until last weekend,

and Eugene and I had known each other for a long time. We've worked together forever. But we sat up on that stage, and it was really like, I mean, we were certainly reflective, but the way we talked to each other but the way we talked to each other is the way we talked to each other 40 years ago, and I think with this deep affection for everyone.

That's great. And we've lived a long life, right? Yes. We've done many, many things in that life, but yeah, it was beautiful to see everybody. Are you a fan of the show This Is Your Life? Remember the show with Ralph Edwards where you would hear a disembodied voice?

Yeah. What they would say? Yes, why, who's here? Frank? Yes, this is a disembodied voice from your past. Paul! Exactly right! Paul Schaefer!

What's going on? Oh my goodness, well, I thought it would be at least more of a question, of a mystery. You got me right away. There is nobody that sounds like you, for God's sakes. Nobody. Oh, well, I've got that horrible nasal voice. Andrea, how are you? Well, now I'm perfect since I'm hearing from you.

I'm Andrea Winter. Paul, I miss you. Are you going hearing from you. I'm Andreo Winter. Paul, I miss you. Are you going to come up to Marty's cottage this summer? Oh, of course, of course. Well, at least in the fall. Wait, didn't we have fun in shuffleboard? Oh, we always have fun. Shuffleboard. Paul made me sing

It's Time to Start Living from Pippin when we were all gathered all of our kids were gathered there I wouldn't do it for anybody but you Paul well you are of course you want a Tony for your role in Pippin

have you guys been talking about Pippin at all the entire time and we've been talking about your obsession with the Andrea's breasts well have you seen them let's say that you know there is perfect and then there's perfect and this woman was perfect and still is uh but what was hilarious of course you know let me back up

you know you've been talking about, and I just heard a little bit about the discussion about the SCTV reunion. I can hardly wait. And everything that I've heard about it is just so amazing. And exactly what fans like me are going to want to see. You know, it's going to be a look in on what these kids did up there, wherever they were, Saskatchewan or something. Edmonton. They had to go way out west in Canada for some reason and isolated themselves and made this show. Yes. I wonder, was that part of it, Andrea, how you had no distractions out there?

Yeah. Did that help or hinder you? did that help or hinder you? Oh I think it was certainly a help with the creativity or the outpouring of material because we were each other's audience and

you know we were fans of each other we made each other laugh and yeah I don't think the show would have been successful, Paul, if we would have had the pressure that you guys did on Saturday Night Live. I don't think that we were those kinds of people.

I don't think that we really were inherently, I don't know. I guess there was a lot of naivety or innocence amongst us. And obviously, when SNL started, Gilda was a young girl and innocent. But I don't know. I just think that you had to have much more, a bigger backbone or ambition to be able to survive SNL. And I don't know if we would have. I don't know. Well, you know everybody in the show. What do you think? Well, you certainly created something for yourselves, an environment in which to work, which was undeniably successful.

Yeah. You had your own little world and your own little television station that you made up. You created it and you live within it. But what I was going to say is all those people that we all agree are still to this day the funniest when you're talking about Eugene

Levy and Martin you know and Dave Thomas. And Catherine O'Hara my God. Are you kidding? All geniuses. I mean if you see Schitt's Creek that is such a brilliant crazy show I just you know. But this is what I wanted to say with all due respect and excuse me for interrupting,

but it all came from this woman, Andrea Martin. Get the hell out of here. I'm telling you, because I was there, 1972. She was the funniest thing any of us had ever seen. In Godspell? Yes, in Godspell. And she had us all on the floor. You couldn't even raise your hand up.

You were laughing so hard. And she taught them all how to do it. Paul. I'm telling you, Andrea, you showed everybody what was funny. And I don't know where it came from. You came from Maine. And you brought something up with you. And everybody picked it up from you,

and I'm telling you, you are the root of it all. Honey, all I have is this to say to you. Ba-may-ay-ay-ay-bee. That's right. I used to play Coach Andrea a little bit vocally. She would come down to audition for New York shows. Because she wasn't American, after all, you know? So she could cross the border and work in the States

like none of us could at that time. And I would help her prepare a number, and then she'd come down and audition with it. And she's referring to that great song by Arlene Smith and the Chantels, Maybe, which I taught to her wrong. Really? I've been reading it all these years. I didn't know it.

I'm embarrassed to say. And I could barely read music, and I read it wrong and taught it to her all wrong. You're a genius. You're a genius. They must have laughed at you there. Howard Fuhrer and his group must have laughed. Oh, Howard Fuhrer.

You have the most meticulous memory. I have a funny memory for things like that. You're amazing. I was going to mention people, you know, if I had to give you hints on This Is Your Life, I was going to say Marlene Smith. Marlene Smith. Marlene Smith.

Moses Neimer. Moses Neimer. You know, all still functioning. Marlene just had Marty in to do an interview for the Canadian Theatre Museum. And Moses Neimer has a classical radio station in Toronto that I listen to every morning. This is not interesting to your listeners. Don't be so sure.

All right. Well, you know, I've been talking for an hour and a half. It reminds me, Andrea, when you were, I mean, it may have been you were in between boyfriends. What, Moses? Moses was a boyfriend and you were always breaking up. And then there were periods of time where you were, you know, between guys and you didn't like it. And you would indicate to us, sort of indicating your nether regions, you know. And you would say dodge city

absolute tumbleweed a-blowing you need a can of pledge to get in there all right nobody else this is like you there's nobody like andrea martin paul she is the funniest and most talent and i'm telling you in pippin she sang sang while doing a trapeze act. Talk about strength. Paul, why don't you and I go on the road together and we'll just talk about how much we love each other. I'd like to see that show. Mickey Rooney did it with his new wife. God bless him. You'd be the new Joe Bologna and Renee Taylor. You know what? We'll be at the Carlisle Hotel. It will cost everybody coming $700 for a piece of, you know, burger and a bun.

They'll listen to us talk and they'll go home. All right. I love you. Give my love to Kathy. Paul, you're the best. Nice to hear you guys, Frank. And, of course, Gilbert. Gilbert.

Yes. Well, I just say that to you. You said that in the... You've got to get off the air. Oh, what's her name? Valerie Bertinelli delivery. Yes, exactly. You tell everybody what that means.

That was in the Cindy Crawford skin commercials that Paul and I are major fans of. You are? The commercials. Meaningful Beauty. We bonded over a few seconds. Meaningful Beauty. Yes.

Right. That's it. With Dr. Chavez. Well, he's too busy to come in. We've got to see him by a satellite. All right, you guys, have a good time. Paul, thanks for doing this, buddy. Bye, Paul.

Thank you so much. Love you, honey. Okay, you too. Our love to Kathy. See you all soon. Bye-bye. Are you surprised much. Love you, honey. Okay, you too. Our love to Kathy. See you all soon. Bye-bye. Are you surprised? How did you make that work?

That's amazing. I told you, he called me out of the blue while I was reading your book yesterday, and I said, this is kismet. Crazy. We have to do this. Oh, that's so lovely. He's so generous and kind. I don't know what he's remembering.

He's remembering not how I remember it, but that's fabulous. Thank you. Speaking of Pippin, you have to tell Gilbert that story of the trapeze, but why you had this fear of heights connected to what happened on Club Paradise. Yeah. So Club Paradise, which was directed by Harold Ramis, we shot in Jamaica. And I did my own stunts in it. And I was in a parasail and the rope broke that's connected to the boat.

And I was in a parasail, and the rope broke that's connected to the boat. And I was traumatized. I couldn't go over bridges. And I was in Costa Rica with my sons, and I was scared to go on the zip line there or whatever. I was petrified. I was traumatized. But I wanted to do this part so badly that I just thought about the character and I went to circus school and I learned how to have a partner on a trapeze and I was 15 feet above the stage. And the terror went away when I was doing acting every night on stage. But when I was rehearsing, I would think about the

line breaking and it was a real act of will because I wanted to do it so badly. But you did it and you won a Tony for it. I did, yes. See? It just goes to show you. What does it show you? That if you have a goal and you want it bad, the influencers.

The influencers. You're bringing it back. I can see you and Paul in that show and I can see you and Gilbert in a production of Fiddler. There you go. In a road company of Fiddler. Do you? Ask me if I love you.

Yes. Do you love me? Do I what? Do you love me? Do I love you? With our daughters getting married and there's trouble in the town. You're upset. You're worn out.

Go inside. Go lie down. You've made this so high. Maybe it's... All right, we have to go. Maybe it's a suggestion. I love that song. That's a great way to end.

This is the best, Andrea. We've had a blast. Thank you so song. That's a great way to end. This is the best, Andrea. We've had a blast. Thank you so much. And we can keep asking you stuff. We didn't ask you about Young Frankenstein and how you improvised in Seattle. You got a line in. I'll come back another time. Come back another time.

Thank you, guys. Okay, this has been... Do more. Yeah, this has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we've been talking to a woman whose biggest accomplishment is fucking Linus. Okay. And she's still looking for a good shoe. Ladies and gentlemen, Andrea Martin.

Let me plug the book before you get the hell out of here. Oh, plug my book. The book is called Lady Parts. It's hilarious. How do you not love a book that references both Senior Wences and the Nairobi Trio? Thanks, guys. It's touching. It's funny.

I expected to laugh. I didn't expect to be moved. Oh, thank you. It's so nice of you. And I was. And the stuff about your mom is beautiful. Thank you. And it's just...

And also, Gilbert wrote a book, and you had similar experiences. Uh-huh. Because it was difficult. Yeah, but I hated writing the book. And even worse, even worse than writing the book, they make you reread it to go through corrections on it. It's impossible. And I say, I don't want to read my stuff.

Oh, my God, because every time I'd read it, I'm like, I've got to change this now. This doesn't sound right. Yes. I know. Yes. And we publish them. Yeah. Good for us.

And I don't know if you did it for yours. They had me do. An audio book? Yes. And we published them. Yeah. Good for us. And I don't know if you did it for yours. They had me do. An audio book? Yes. No, you know, I haven't done that. Oh, I fucking hated that part. Oh, yeah. Was that hard?

Yeah, that was torture. All right. My new favorite guest, Andrea Martin. Thank you, Andrea. Thank you, guys. And I hope you had fun. I did. As the chance to raise some hell. Everybody.

Oh, it's time to start living. Time to take a little from the world we're given. Time to take time before spring will turn to fall. In just no time at all Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santopadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden,

Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to Paul Rayburn, John Murray, John Fodiatis, and Nutmeg Creative. Especially Sam Giovonco and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. Some aging roue and persuade him to play in some cranny But it's hard to believe I'm being led astray By a man who calls me granny One, two, three, four Oh, it's time to start living

Time to take a little from the world we're given Time to take time for from the world we're given. Time to take time, for spring will turn to fall. In just no time at all. begins. I throw these regal shoulders back and lift these noble chins. Here is a secret I never have told. Maybe you'll understand why. I believe if I refuse to grow old, I can stay young till I die. Now I've known the fears of 66 years I've had troubles and tears by the score But the only thing I'd trade them for is 67 more. All right, one more time. And this time, let's hear it from everybody. One, two, three, four.

Oh, it's time to start living. Time to take a little from the world we're given. Time to take time and force it with worth and all. In just no time at all. It's time to keep living, time to keep taking from the world you're given. You are my time, so I'll throw off my shawl. And watching your flings be flung all over makes me feel young all over Ain't just, just no, no time at all