Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 263. Jeff Ross and Dave Attell

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Comedian and Roastmaster General Jeff Ross returns to the podcast (along with special drop-in guest Dave Attell) to talk about performing in the age of political correctness, using comedy as a teaching tool, the lesser-known stand-ups of the '50s and '60s and the Netflix series "Bumping Mics" and "Historical Roasts." Also, Aretha Franklin flips the bird, Jeff takes down Jerry Lewis, Dave gives props to Steve Martin (and Rod Serling) and the boys remember the never-aired New York Friars Club roasts. PLUS: "The Omega Man"! Uncle Miltie whips it out! Gilbert boards the Maxi-Bus! Dave launches a new series! And Jeff pays tribute to the late, great Don Rickles! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Introducing TD Insurance for Business with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. Contact a licensed TD Insurance advisor to learn more. Hi, this is Gavin McLeod listening to

the amazing, colossal podcast with the one and only Gilbert Gottfried. Welcome to What is Love? Welcome aboard in love Welcome aboard in love Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is back for a return. Gilbert, slow down. This is torture. Yes. Have some fun with it. Have fun with it, Gil. I've known you for years. Read from the heart.

You want me to start crying in the middle of it? I'm going to start crying. Yes. Our guest this week is back for a different engagement on this podcast. Who could it be? Yeah, I don't know. Should we do it as a contest? I don't know.

Should we do it as a contest? He's a producer, director, writer, occasional actor, and one of the funniest, most fearless stand-up comedians of his generation. Ooh, this is going to be good. Ladies and gentlemen, Yakov Shmirnov. Wait a minute. And as an actor, you've seen him in movies like American Dreams, National Security. You were in the adventures of Rocky and Paul Winkle.

Boy, I couldn't even get into that piece of shit. That shows where my career is. You mean you couldn't get into it or you couldn't get into it? Yeah, both. Also, along came Polly. I got cut out of that. Oh, okay. That's the worst intro. We'll cut this out.

That's the best worst intro I've ever had. It's all right. The Emojo movie. Emoji. The Emojo movie. Emoji. The Emoji movie. The TV show Swedes. Greg the Bunny. Children's Hospital.

American Dad. Family Guy. The Simpsons. Sneaky Pete and Crashing. He also co-wrote the screenplay for the recent feature The Comedian. He said five years ago. Yes. Starring Robert De Niro, Danny DeVito, and me, Gilbert Gottfried. And that's not all, my friends. You've also seen

his memorable performances in the Comedy Central roast of everyone from Pamela Anderson to Bruce Willis. I've been in a few of those. And he starred in several of his own terrific specials, including Jeff Ross, Roast America, Jeff Ross, Roast Cops, Jeff Ross, Roast Criminals, Jeff Ross, Brazos County Jail. What was that? Brazos, Brazos, I don't know. Jeff Ross, Roast Criminals, live at Brazos County Jail. What was that? Brazos, Brazos, I don't know. Jeff Ross roasts criminals live at Brazos County Jail. Live at Brazos.

Ah, fuck it. No one's paying attention. As well as this series, Jeff Ross presents. This intro's longer than my career. Roast Bottle and Bumping Mikes, which Bumping Mice I was on. He got some of those right. Okay, co-starring our one-time podcast guest Dave Attell. He's also the author of the very funny memoir, I Only Roast the Ones I Love,

which I believe is still available from a Jamaican guy selling used books outside the Port Authority. His brand new Netflix series is called Historical Roasts. And also features yours truly in the role I was born to play, Adolf Hitler. Please welcome back to the show a guy who never fails to make us laugh and a man who wants to ask Courtney Love if she gave free donkey rides

to the bottom of her vagina. I did say that. Our pal Jeff Ross. Wow. What? Great to see you guys. Thank you so much for that. Wow. Great to see you guys. Thank you so much. For that beautiful introduction. I feel so welcome.

It felt like Gilbert was reading a hostage letter. That's about the size of all of his reads. I forgot about some of those credits. Yes. I have stuff I'm way more proud of than the nonsense you mentioned. What would you like to mention that you're more proud of

you're proud of those roast specials the cops, the prison one I am, those I love very much I watched the one you did at the border which was great oh yeah, Jeff Ross roast the border I went down to the southern most part of America

Brownsville, Texas and I roasted immigrants as they crossed into America The southernmost part of America. Brownsville, Texas. Yeah. And I roasted immigrants as they crossed into America. Yeah. I had to get special permission from the mayor. It's a fun show. People should see those shows. We'll talk about them as we go.

But the cops one, too, and the one that Gilbert mangled. The criminal. Brazos County Jail. Jeff Ross. That really narrows it down, the one I mangled. Also great. And I was in a bunch of these things. You're always there for me, Gilbert.

You always are. Yeah. Gilbert plays Adolf Hitler on my new Netflix show, Historical Rose. And I called Gilbert. It was one of the first calls I made when we were casting the show. And he agreed before I even got the lure out. Gilbert, I need someone to play

Hitler. I'll do it! Then he comes. He comes in, and I said to the costumer, Roger Forker, I said, Gilbert, Godfrey is Hitler, about the same size as Hitler, but I don't want him to be a glorious Hitler. I want to see him in the socks. The lederhosen?

The lederhosen. I want it to be Gilbert's Hitler. Gilbert's Hitler. Gilbert has great legs and a great walk, so I thought we got to show off. Gilbert has beautiful ankles. Yeah. It's like Brando Stanley Kowalski. Yeah. You don't want just any Hitler.

Yes. He's played the part before. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. I was in a movie where I did a small part as Hitler. Highway to Hell. Yeah.

Yeah. And Highway to Hell, it was funnier in the credits than it was in the movie no this time it was funny this time you to use the uh maybe a poor word murdered it was such a good you really and gilbert came to rehearsal he got there before the before the uh camera people He was so excited. The first thing, the lighting guy in the costume where they put the armband and the mustache on Gilbert to make sure everything fit. And that was it. Gilbert didn't take it off until he left on the airplane.

Did he make a beeline to craft services when he first got there? He did everything as Hitler. He rehearsed as Hitler. It was wonderful. He really got into character and and i think if hitler saw it i think he'd probably be really proud you and bruno gonz are the definitive hitlers yes yeah and and uh yeah it was the roast of and frank how did did you feel when you were looking like Hitler? What did it make you feel like? Oh, finally in my element. As a Jewish person, did you have any sort of mixed feelings about doing the role?

None. None. None. That's the way I operate. Mel Brooks used to talk about revenge through ridicule. This is how the Jews take on the Nazis. Yeah. We mock them.

Oh, and he did a lot of it. He did a lot of it. Yeah. Hitler on ice. I'm proud of the work we did. I think it came out great. Yeah. I did, too.

I think you should win a German Emmy. Let's give a nod to John Lovitz as FDR. Yes, sir. Wonderful. And Fred Willard played God. Fred Willard. And Rachel Feinstein, of course, played Anne Frank. Yep.

And I played myself as a Jewish comic during the Nazi occupation. Yes. You were wearing one of those old suits with the Star of David on it. Right. And it made me, it made me, it gave me a certain seriousness. I didn't, I wasn't silly about it. I didn't have to, you know, it made me feel like comedy is important. And what we say is important as comedians.

I didn't want to, I didn't want to be cavalier about wearing that Jewish star of David. I wanted it to mean something. And I'm not even a religious person but you know and this is this is our world gilbert this is our our arena we don't make films we make sure roasts and and there's no very few documentaries or movies about anne frank anywhere i couldn't find any even to show my writers for research there's the diary of Anne you only have the diary of Anne Frank yeah and and as a resource so and it gave me great pride to see my my writers who are young my my Vietnamese writer taking home a copy of the diary

of Anne Frank and coming back the next day with a million ideas and jazzed about it and completely all in on her story. So we talk about the Holocaust. We say never forget. How can we we got to know about it? The younger generation has to know about it for us to really for the story to go on for the cautionary tale. For the cautionary tale. And one of your writers thanked me a bunch of times during the show for playing Hitler on it. And the reason was that his grandmother was a camp survivor. Right.

Interesting. And he thought this was so important. Right. Like to make a fool out of Hitler. Right. And that she survived and you know hitler's being laughed at his that's eddie firth who was one of the uh originators of the historical roast and uh his grandmother molly i believe her name is wrote a book and um she survived and he he his And his family is very proud of the work,

proud that his show took on this thing. And I think it's, if you could say, why would you roast Anne Frank? Well, how could you not? Yeah. What am I going to roast something I don't care about? This is perhaps one of the people I care about the most in the world. Her book

changed the way I think about humanity. And that writer kept thanking me throughout the whole production. Yes. It was so important for him.

Yeah. Also, I want to mention the Lincoln roast with our friend Bob Saget. Oh, yeah. And Stamos as John Wilkes Booth. Really fun. And who was the comic who was playing

Harriet Tubman? She was great. That's Yamanika Saunders. Hilarious. She's one of our writers and a dear friend of mine. Really funny. Yamanika really attacked that Harriet Tubman role. She was wonderful. She was great. I hung out with her on Memorial Day. She took me and a bunch of us

on a excursion to the Staten Island Ferry. She likes to ride the ferry on national holidays. It's free. It's fun. It's patriotic to go past the Statue of Liberty. So Yamanika definitely led us around Staten Island, the Hudson River, the way Harriet Tubman led those people out of slavery. Great job by everybody.

And one thing I'm proud of, and I think you are too, you're already getting in trouble for these roasts. I might have seen something about that online. Well, I mean, anytime you take on things that are sacred, you know, if it doesn't offend somebody somewhere it's not funny it's probably not funny so you know you have to put it's i feel it's my responsibility if you're uncomfortable watching a roast of anne frank or martin luther king jr which we do uh um follow that discomfort maybe you'll learn something about yourself maybe you'll learn

something about other people what's wrong with being uncomfortable what was carlin's line that you like to talk about gilbert oh george carlin said it's the duty of a comedian to find out where the line is drawn and deliberately cross over it. Right. Comics without borders. I like that. What does your t-shirt say right now? I'm wearing a t-shirt. I'm offended by people who are always offended. Perfect.

I sell these on my website. Everyone's offended in the internet age because everybody has a bully pulpit now. We talk about it. In the old days you had to write a letter. People are trying to get mad they want to be offended because they know that they have a better punch down at you absolutely they're waiting for you to say anything where they can have the one in the chamber set to go to fire back it also gives them access to the conversation to what's going on right and if you

don't answer these these ideas by the way people people who might be complaining that the Holocaust should not be mocked, they're probably right. I agree with them. Yeah, this is not the perfect way to learn about this. But I'm the only one talking about Anne Frank. That's all I got. That's all I got. I'm sorry. I'm not on the evening news.

Like, this is my thing. Some would say there are survivors out there, and these things are a trigger to them. So I don't know how many 90-year-olds are watching our Netflix historical roasts, but, I mean, does that mean any talk is a trigger? We laugh through the pain. If we don't laugh, we cry. It's been a long time since the Holocaust.

This is how we're going to learn. I can't expect my teenage nephews to go to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam to learn about the Holocaust. Not everybody could afford that. I'm talking to teenagers who are all over the country, all over the world, you know, with this show. So this is a way to at least get them curious enough to Google Anne Frank or Martin Luther King or Muhammad Ali or some of the other people we talk about. You know, we talk about Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman in this show.

These are names that adults are getting confused about who's who. It was strangely educational. I realized as I was watching it. So, you know, to me, there's so much fake news. We talk about fake news. That's going to evolve into fake history. I felt an obligation to give a people's history to every joke in the historical roast show there's six episodes every joke is based in fact

you know it's a trusty narrator and something like it's both extremely offensive and extremely respectful at the same time right well that's what roasts are yeah it's a great device to be you know it's like a pat on the back and a kick in the ass. You know what I mean? Speaking of laughter through pain, we were talking before we turned the mics on about the prison special that you did, which I watched with my wife, which is absolutely fascinating. Thank you. Particularly the part where you were performing for the women. Right. The incarcerated women.

Right. And how you bonded with these people. Well, this was a show i did a couple years ago and i had been trying for a long time to get access to uh maximum security jail or prison and everybody said no but there's there's a jail in texas County Jail, where the sheriff and the jail administrators, they have a lot of autonomy over their jails. And they saw the good in bringing in an entertainer. And they asked for a month notice so that they could use it as good behavior. In other words, you had to behave in order to see my show.

in order to see my show. And when word got out in the jail that I was doing a show for the guys, the women obviously, they wanted the same incentive. They wanted to say they had a show. And this wasn't part of the plan. I was always up for it, but there were security issues with how to make that work. Of course. And to put all the women in one room at the same time is not their normal routine.

So I did it off the cuff. You know, I was looking at all the solitary confinement cells and doing sort of the documentary part of the special. And the jail administrator at the time, Wayne Dickey, said the women seem to be really super jealous that you're doing a show for the guys. How do you feel about doing a show for the women in half an hour? I go, okay. Okay, well, I worked months on my act for the guys.

You pulled it off. So I went into the women's jail, and, you know know you can see this if you watch the special and I did it like a nightclub performance it wasn't social commentary it was barely a roast until I said stuff like you know you know

you know if they were all upset about all wearing the same outfit you know like some easy jokes but if they were all upset about all wearing the same outfit. Yeah. You know, like some easy jokes. But there was the pregnant woman. The pregnant woman in the front row. Big Mama Jo.

Big Mama Jo. Yeah. Yeah, there were a lot of characters. They were really into it. So it became an easy, almost like a nightclub show. And I brought women up and roasted them one at a time. And, you know, some heartbreaking stories. And they all had a pretty good sense of humor. And then afterwards, Wayne told me that the women were buzzing for weeks afterwards

because no one had talked to them as women in a long time. It was a humanizing experience and a normalizing experience for the ladies in the jail. experience for the ladies in the jail so yeah it was a cool it was that was a cool uh way to bring roasting uh into uh the incarceration world which is something that i'm always really curious about i love that they put the murderers up front in the front row that was a security uh yeah that was a security thing where my murderers at was your opening line yeah i asked them where the where the really dangerous people were. They said they'd be up front. Wayne said they'd be up front because it was easier to get them out if something happened.

And I said, my opening joke, I said, where my murderer's at, and three guys in the front raised their hands. And I remember one time you came over to my house because I was a guest on your podcast. Right. And you brought my two kids on. And while they were on with you, they were saying, you know, you're not funny. Daddy's funnier than you. Right. And I remember your reaction.

Which was? You got a big smile on your face and said, you're roasting me Yeah Well, my podcast is called Thick Skin with Jeff Ross And it's about that, it's about taking a joke You gotta have thick skin, especially me, if I dish it out Sure I'm required to take it

I mean, otherwise i'm a hypocrite and i am sensitive the way we all are and it also additionally delighted me to see your son understand as a boy an eight-year-old a nine-year-old a ten-year-old, a nine-year-old, a ten-year-old, what roasting is. Because now I go, hey, Gilbert, you know, like, this shit was corny when I was a kid. Now it's cool. Right. Like, we didn't, I didn't know from that stuff as a kid. It was like, it was funny to see some of the old-time comics on Johnny Carson and stuff like that.

Of course, that was a big influence to me, obviously. Love that type of humor. But when I first started doing the roasts, they were antiquated. It was like saying, I joust, or I know Latin. It was a lost art. And through a lot of hard work and love, roasts are more popular than they've ever been. And not only that, boys and girls will roasts are more popular than they've ever been and not only that like boys and girls will roast a bully you know that makes me so happy i always saw roasting as a form of

self-defense you know i studied karate as a kid when i was your son max's age i was already probably a brown belt in taekwondo so i understood the power of um of being quiet i understood that you know you you could let a bully mouth off and then at a certain point you could shut it down too either with your words or with a good solid front snap kick was the kid you talk about in the book the one that would hide around corners and and oh yeah punch you in the crotch oh yeah was he a was he a catalyst yeah for you know if you get picked on you you either break or you know it's like fight or flight right and you can only fly so many times till you have to fight back if you're going to exist in an environment and i don't know i think roasting is sort of like. I only roast volunteers and I only roast bullies and the ones I love.

You know, if they're not going to be there, you know, I rarely talk behind people's back. I like to talk people to their face. While I nudge Gilbert awake, listen to these words from our sponsor. Are you speaking? Gilbert awake, listen to these words from our sponsor. Are you speaking? Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days

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All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Boom! It's Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Delight! Episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. It's Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Podcast! Your kids know what a roast is, Gilbert? By name? I mean, you've never, obviously you and Dara have not exposed them to the Comedy Central roasts. Yeah, but they kind of, they seem to just have a gut reaction like they were doing with

Jeff. They understand it. You know, they were like insulting him and Jeff was real happy about it. Oh, I felt like I broke through. Yeah, it influenced them. They kept insulting Jeff and it was like perfect and now and now they'll they'll uh you know that type of humor lives on and that makes us not forgotten it makes us it gives us a legacy Gilbert that type of humor the roast humor you know roast battling you know that these roast battles that I do

they they're all over the world now they're in everywhere from russia to to asia they're in india we have a roast battle on mexican television british television australian television french canadian television we do these roast battles so roasting itself is like a new pillar of comedy the way when improv got big i think roasting is in a way it of comedy. The way when improv got big, I think roasting is, in a way, it's unlimited. If it's presented well, there's an ocean of appetite for it. There are great ones at the Friars

that we've all attended. You've been on them. Gilbert's been on them. The ones that were never televised. The Matt Lauer one comes to mind. I mean, really great stuff. The Jerry Lewis one. Really great stuff that nobody never televised. Right. The Matt Lauer one. Right. Comes to mind. I mean, really great stuff. The Jerry Lewis one. Yeah.

Really great stuff that nobody will ever see. It's great that you were at all these roasts. I was. I was on the writing staff. You're a real witness to my career. My early Friars Club career. Bill Sheft and Leopold and Amoros and I were writing on some of them. And a lot of those things, I mean, they're in-house for the Friars.

But unless you were in that room at the Hilton, you'll never see those. Yeah. A lot of them were as good as the Comedy Central was. I remember they wrote a whole article about the Matt Lauer roast. Oh, yeah. And they singled me out and said among the horrible, you know, offensive roasties was Gilbert Gottfried saying offensive racist jokes. Oh, with Ann Curry. About Ann Curry's genitalia.

Remember it now. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was doing loads of Asian jokes about Ann Curry's genitalia. I remember all ofia. I remember all of those.

I miss those days. I do love those classic live afternoon fires. Oh,

they were great. Yes. They were great. Do you remember the one that

you told at the Lewis joke at the Lewis roast? You know the one I mean.

The one where you were told not to go after that particular subject? Can you share it? You know the one I mean. The one where you were told not to go. It's my best joke. It's the best joke I've ever had. Yeah. Not to go after that particular subject. Can you share it?

Of course. Jerry Lewis getting roasted. He's probably, you know, 80? That point, yeah. And, you know, I didn't know him very well. But he was obviously, you know, somebody I admired. He was a big comedy star. The Jerry Lewis telethon growing up, of course, he raised millions and millions and millions of dollars.

And I watched it with my parents as a kid. And we saw entertainers raising money, doing good. It was a mitzvah, something I could understand. You know, a connection to show business. And they said, oh, you're doing a Friars Club roast. Jerry's excited. He's the new abbot of the Friars Club. This is a big thing.

You know, this isn't like somebody you're going to see once. This is somebody you're going to have to get to know. He's the new head of the Friars. And I really wanted to impress him, obviously. But they said, you know, one caveat, not a big deal. We know you would never do this, but he's very touchy about any jokes about Jerry's kids, disabled kids from the muscular dystrophy telethon.

And of course I say, of course I would never do that. Now immediately in my head, immediately in my head, it's all I could think about. You know, I got to, how do i take it to the line and how do i how do i how do i make the hair stand up on the back of his neck but not piss him off how do i let him know that i'm great and i should not be fucked with even though i'm some punk kid i wanted to make him laugh but i also wanted to let him know I was roasting him and that I was good at it. And I would earn his respect that way.

And I talked about it a lot. Like, I had a lot of great jokes about Jerry Lewis that sort of warmed him up. I said, you know, he was really big in France. Then again, the French don't even know when they stink a great one there was also the nathan lane joke which one was that nathan and jerry he was on the dais yeah you said jen nathan and jerry have a lot in common they both started sucking in the 70s and by the jerry lewis is sitting there He's flanked by Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro. Jerry's having the time of his life. It's all about him.

A couple thousand people to New York Hilton. And I go on kind of late and I say something to the effect of, you know, Jerry, they've all been making fun of you. But what about the great things that you do? Not enough has been said about the great things that you do in your life. Like just last Labor Day, a six-year-old kid got up out of his wheelchair and walked for the first time to turn off the Jerry Lewis television. As funny as it was then. And you just saw Jerry's shoulders tensing up as I milked it. And then when I got to the punchline, I have a picture. I'll have to repost it when this podcast comes out of just Jerry just losing it. And De Niro covering his face, laughing, and Scorsese squirming in his seat.

And, you know, Jerry and I became friendly after that. That was also the infamous roast with the later Aretha Franklin. Oh, is that the same night? Yes. Same night. She was fun. Yeah. Yeah, I said, I said, she sang the national anthem.

She sang. I don't even think she sang that. I think she sang America. Oh, yes, you're right. You're right. And I went up and I said, I've never been to a show where the fat lady sings in the beginning. And she flipped you the bird. Yeah.

I remember the best thing Jerry Lewis ever said to me. I was one thing honoring him or whatever, and I did some really offensive long joke, and he went up to me, and it looked like he was offended at first, and he said, Gilbert, you're out of your fucking mind.

And then he takes a pause and goes, and I wouldn't want you any other way. And I thought, that's it. That's a true comic. Yeah. You got him. I earned his respect, you know, earlier than that, but he didn't remember.

It was, he came to the Improv Comedy Club in West Hollywood and he looked at comics, basically auditioned people to be on the telethon. He wanted to break some younger comics and he really liked me and I got to do the telethon a couple of times in the late 90s. I'd always wear the same tuxedo but put a different shirt on each year so that I had no money. It was a free gig. Now, what I loved about Gilbert at those fryer's roasts

is how the writers would write for everybody else, and everybody else would prepare material, and Gilbert was so lazy that he would just get up and say, The writers would write for everybody else, and everybody else would prepare material. And Gilbert was so lazy that he would just get up and say, fuck it, I'm doing my dirty joke CD. Nothing to do with the roasties. That's what Henny Youngman would do. Nothing to do with the guest of honor. I think that's a wonderful tactic to just be able to go up whenever you want and not have to worry about preparing. tactic to just be able to go up whenever you want and not have to worry about preparing.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, Henny Youngman used to go up those things and say, you know, I'm very happy to be here at the Georgie Jessel roast. A rabbi walks into a bar. Gilbert, who was your favorite comedian growing up? Oh, God, there were so many. They were like, and I like those old guys who were all still around. Uh-huh. Did you like insult comics like that? Were you into the dirty?

Well, I did love Don Rickles. Yeah. And Henny Youngman I loved. You mean obscure old guys too, like Leonard Barr and those kind of guys? Leonard Cohen, Myron Cohen? Oh, Myron Cohen was terrific. Yeah. And there were so many like, you know, you could see both the old guys.

You like Jackie Vernon too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you could see both the old guys and what were considered the young guys who are now in their 90s. considered the young guys who are now in their 90s i miss i mean i feel like i i miss not not getting to see uh jackie vernon fat jackie leonard yeah sure young don rickles i would have loved all those guys well how about some of the guys that used to kill at those friars rose at the hilton that people may not know about like dick capri oh yeah who was always hilarious yes always brought it

freddie too and stewie of course you know i mean that's where i saw it all go down you know back then you when i first got asked to do the roast you couldn't i couldn't google it i had to go to the museum of broadcasting and look up what these roasts were i had no idea so you see once that you don't have to just make fun of the guests of honor. You can make fun of the other comics there. I was so excited because then I got to riff with Buddy Hackett and Milton Burrell and all these guys.

And you made Danny Aiello cry. We made Danny Aiello cry. Oh, you don't know this story? I'm sure I do. It sounds very familiar. I think Joy was the roast mistress on that roast. I think she hosted that. Yes, she did. It was just, you know, Danny Aiello,

who I adore, great guy, phenomenal actor. It was a big moment. He had a new CBS show. Doc Deleventura. He's playing some sort of New York detective. And he was on every bus, every billboard in New York. And we had a roast for him.

You know, he's a friar and it made sense. And all his friends and family were there. And I said something like, you know, Danny Aiello's acting is so over the top that show should be called Ace Delevingne. And, you know, the show had just come out. None of us had seen it.

So we were just kind of joking that it was bad. But then the Bells went up. Richard Bells went up with the actual New York Post and Daily News reviews. Yeah, ripped them. That Danny obviously

had not read that morning. It was a great day. We were at the roast. It was only lunchtime. Oh, fuck. And, you know, and Bell's just verbatim read the reviews. And Danny's hearing them for the first time. Oh, man.

And that was it. That was it. Then Danny made his speech and something hit him. He got very emotional. He says he was thinking about his dad and how his dad was missing this amazing day but i really think it was the reviews i used to hide in the back of the room and scroll those jokes down on a piece of paper even though i wasn't supposed to because i i knew that i would not see the tape and i would forget them right and and like uh we've talked about it on this show bells are bells are talking about freddie roman oh yeah that wonderful line

remember it jack ruby had a longer tv career oh yeah and i used to when you were up there and i used to scrawl on a little piece of paper and i'd hope nobody would see me but i said these are going to get lost if i don't write them down and remember them they were that good it's funny i mean i remember watching the roasts when I was a kid. And those were always very homogenized. And then you'd hear about these guys, these old guys like Jack Benny and stuff, at the actual Friars roast. Oh, yeah. And how just foul and offensive they were.

Right. And that was the appeal, right? You got to see Milton Berle say the C word and the F word and all this kind of stuff, where you would never see that on Texaco Star Theater. The NBC roasts were in part to promote NBC shows and NBC talent, so that's why you had Redd Foxx and LaWanda Page, and all of these people would come in. They were network-friendly. remote NBC shows and NBC talent. So that's why you had Red Fox and LaWanda Page. Yeah. And all of these people would come in.

They were network friendly. And it was always funny when they'd be roasting Orson Welles and like Gary Coleman would roast them. And you go, what is the connection? Did you ever have some of the old comics give you a hard time for working blue? Yes. Yes. That for working blue? Yes. Yes. That happens, right?

Yeah. And it's so funny, and I've talked about it here because there have been comics who I've spoken to offstage who will tell me the most foul joke in the world. And then I'll say, hey, can you repeat some of those jokes? And they'll act like they don't know what you're talking about. Marty Allen did that to us on this show. Really? He told us the filthiest, most wonderful jokes and then Gilbert tried to get him to do it on mic and he wouldn't

bite. Yeah. Here he is, he's like a hundredth, but he's protecting his image. While he was still performing. Yeah. Wow. That is crazy. Let's talk about another thing you guys have been doing together or not too long ago. Gilbert guested on a show on Comedy Central. The hilarious Bumping Mics. Bumping Mics on Netflix.

That was a lot of fun to do. Gilbert introduced us, David Tell and I, go on stage together, and we do a two-man act. I don't even know if it's an act. It's a show. It's a hangout. It's a party. And we invite our friends. And I asked Gilbert to come by.

And next thing I know, I show up at the venue, and Gilbert's already on stage introducing us. Nice work, Gil. If you like scissoring vaginas. I saw that. The funniest comedy team since Ike and Tina Turner. That was great. And then Gilbert stayed for the whole show. That was great.

And then Gilbert stayed for the whole show, and it was just a treat because as much as I love Gilbert, Dave Attell is obsessed with Gilbert. It would be great if we had asked Dave Attell to come. Yeah. Bumping mics was so much fun. We're going to be in Vegas June 7th and 8th. You and Dave. We're're gonna be at Harris SoCal

the week after that we're gonna be at the Morongo Casino in a couple weeks so this is the most fun I've ever had on stage all

roast aside when Dave is around it's like one plus one you guys are great together uh oh what happened somebody just came in

because he really I think we have a catch he really is my favorite comedian. Hello, everybody. Hi, Dave. Look at that. Dave Attell is here, ladies and gentlemen. How did he happen to find the place? Nice.

Bump it up. Bump it up. First bump of the podcast. Dave sleeps under the table. Dave, get close to that mic, would you? Thanks, buddy. Wow. Great to see you, partner. Yeah, no, I was outside. I was, now, it was a while before I came in here. Were you guys reading the Mueller

report? What were you guys doing? A lot of nodding and uh-huhs and you're right. We should wait and see and I don't know's and Yeah. We were so serious in here. Talking about bumping mics yes and i was talking before about your wonderful line about gilbert oh which one was that you said that gilbert have you ever

gone down on a on a live woman not one from your collection i think you're taking poetic license with that one but um gilbert and and I think Jeff will back me up on this. When Jeff and I are together, it's good. When Gilbert was there, it went to another level. Gilbert completed us, I think, in terms of what Bumping Mice could be. He really did. He's the third, like the triad. He is the third spoke, and he really is that good.

You're like when Joe Walsh joined the Eagles. Wow, Gilbert. The band had a little more kick to it. It really, it really kicked it into rock and roll from country and western rock. Thank you. None of that J.D. Souther shit.

Yeah. So anyway, we want to make you a partner, Gilbert. Yes. We're going to pay you in merch. Yes. We just started selling merch on the road, everyone. It's a whole new experience for us.

Oh, that's a page out of his book. So I'll get a bumping mics pin or something. Sure, why not? If you were going to bump mics with your own partner, who would it be? Oh, that's good. Oh. All right. Shecky?

You have to be Shecky. I have to say Tim uh, Tim Conway. When I heard about that, I was like, that is the set. I wonder if Gilbert ever had him on the show. Did you ever have him on the show? We tried. He wasn't in good health. We tried.

Yeah. So how about you and Tim Conway? Do you think you can keep up with him? He is a master. Gilbert, did you walk in here wearing Bumping Mike's merch? Yes, I was wearing the cap. So it's already out.

It's already available. It's available on Netflix. This is true. Dave made 30 hats. Gave one to Gilbert. I will say this. Jeff and I are really, we're into meeting the fans.

We know there's a lot of comedy fans who come to the show, both the live performance and when we taped and that, you know, at the end of the show now when we stand out there

and we're hawking the merch, it's another experience because it's great to see these people. They don't only like us. They like a lot of comics and that's really what I think as a comedy fan,

like when they have like a, basically like a top 10 like you know you know who i wish i could see and you know i heard the uh podcast about mitch hedberg or other like guys who are no longer with us and i was like that's cool you know and i love that that's our fan base and and it's always great when someone will say to you uh you know my favorite comics are you and I'll name like two or three others and you go, wow, those are great comics you put me in a category with. Sometimes it's the only two they can think of. You are my favorite comic

with Charlie Chaplin and Jim Carrey. It is a real love boat of laughter. Jeff and I were in Atlantic City, and I was trying to get you, I was telling Darrett, like, we gotta get you to come down to this gig, but you were on the road as well in Canada, I believe. Yeah. For Memorial Day, which is awesome,

I guess. I don't know why, you have like a different road than we do, or what do you do? You're on the road a lot. I don't know. It's like they say, we'll pay you here, and I go. I don't know why. You have like a different road than we do, or what do you do? You're on the road a lot. I don't know. It's like they say, we'll pay you here, and I go. You just go. Yeah. Because I didn't know Megabus went to Canada.

I always assume from that doc, Jeff, did you see the documentary of Gilbert? He's in it. Yes, of course. Yeah. Well, he is getting on a Megabus, and it was like one of the saddest, most truest things about comedy. He's got a way too big a bag for the amount of time he's going like one of the saddest most truest things about comedy. He's got a way too big a bag for the amount

of time he's going to be on the road. Two days, maybe three days. He's got like this gigantic bag like you're an au pair and you're moving into someone's brownstone for the summer. It was so big and sad. I think Bill Burr

says in the doc, what the fuck is he doing on the bus? Don't people recognize him? Hey, is that Gilbert Gottfried? Your tour bus is a greyhound. He also says... Just like John Madden. He also says in the documentary,

he goes, but there's people like going, gee, I want to use the bathroom, but Gilbert Gottfried's in there. How did bumping mics come together as a concept? Was it accidental? That's a good question, Jeff. It was not accidental as much as improvised. It was just an improvised fun way to get our ya-ya's out late at night.

Dave would have a spot or I would have a spot. More often than not, I'd go right from the airport. I'd land back home in New York, run by the comedy seller because I was hungry or lonely. I'd go watch Dave and Dave would just bring me up. And we just started like sort of bumping it out. I would have a new joke to try out every once in a while. Dave would always have a new joke to try out. And next thing we knew, I was begging him to come up to Montreal.

Actually, we did a couple tour dates. We did a stop in Vegas. Yeah, I wanted to go on the road. But, Jeff, it's really like the whole, I guess you could say, the reason why I went to TV would be because of Jeff. Because Jeff took what was just kind of a fun blow-off thing that we would do. And he said, you know, this is definitely a show and I believe in it.

So it's really, uh, everything from the branding, the naming of the show to like bringing it to Netflix is all Jeff. I'm, I'm just the other guy who was there when it comes to all that stuff. Cause I really do think that like, you know,

uh, we were lucky to capture the kind of the, the fun of like anything could happen. Cause really that was like, what was so good the cellar experience is that it's late. People have already seen about eight acts. And I always go on late for years there. Like I just go on late. And it used to be because I was, you know, like kind of the worst guy there.

And they would throw you on at the end. Now it's more about like, you know, I got a lot of errands to run and then I need a nap. Then I'm going to go down. I'm old. I'm the old guy. Dave's been moving all week. A year. I can't get him on the phone.

I've been moving for years. And the best part is that, you know, they're always cool with like letting us do whatever we want. And I think that the charm of that place is that you never know who's going to drop by and you also never know what's going to happen and whether it's a conversation on stage or like just working with the audience, it's kind of built for that. It's a small, tiny room.

And Gilbert is another good example of like, I don't know if you know this, but his fearlessness is really what I love about his thing on the bumping mics, is that Jeff doesn't have a filter, you don't have a filter, so it's really great to see you guys really open up on these young crowds,

especially like it kind of must blow them away, you know? Yeah, I'm sure. Anything can happen at our shows, even June 6th and 7th at the Mirage. Yes. Nicely done. What we're hoping to happen would be some sold-out shows. That would be great. Anything can happen at our shows, especially when they're at the Morongo on June 14th

or Harris Hotel on June 15th. The Morongo. That sounds like a great, like, you know, then there was the Morongo. Morongo. Well, I will say anything can happen October 4th and 5th at the Paramount Theater in Huntsville.

Yes, that's what happens. That's my hometown. That's a great venue. We play Jersey. That's Jeff's hood But we're going to play Long Island Gilbert, you should come to that show I'm throwing it out right now You should open for us in Huntington What do you think?

You don't mind taking a pay cut And an Uber to get there? Megabus We were speaking about merchandise before And I remember when you came and did the podcast At my house you gave me a bunch of hats and t-shirts right and then you bought a bunch of t-shirts from me great yeah well it was Christmas time Gilbert had just done Dave and I this gigantic favor so I

brought over um sweet a bunch of Bumping Mike's stuff. I went on Gilbert's website and bought 30 t-shirts for my friends. Very nice. Very sweet. People cherish those t-shirts. My cousin Aaron uses his to wash his

car. Jimmy Kimmel, I gave him one. He uses it to, I don't know. This is the new shirt with Gilbert's face on it? Yeah.

The recent one? Do you guys remember seeing Gilbert for the first time? Unfortunately. That's a great question. Yes. Up close?

Yes, I do. Yes. Let's see. That must have been like five haircuts ago. I think it was, it was more of a... Gil, do you still walk to Chinatown to get the $5 haircut? Oh, yeah.

Okay, good. Now I get it. Just checking. He gave me a segue. I heard that your Chinese name is Yu again. I'm sorry, guys. These times with the tariffs and all. It's the best we can do with these tariffs.

They call him no tip off the top. You guys revealed on Bumping Mics where you first met, the two of you. But do you really remember seeing him for the first time? Had to be the improv, right? I don't even remember when I was allowed

to talk to gilbert because he was a legend when i started and i never really saw him at the clubs maybe a catcherizing star i saw you do a couple of spots or something like that but i never like every night you had already moved on to that you were a tv guy you were a film guy and uh you did all that voiceover stuff so i think your club work in New York, you were too busy doing other stuff, right? So what I would see him, it was a huge deal. Like, oh, that's Gilbert. Gilbert's there. And then I was so into it.

But it had to be in the 90s, I assume. You remember? You have any memory of this? Oh. Of meeting these two guys? No, I tried to block it out of my head. I feel like Gilbert and I became better and better friends as the years went on. Yeah.

As both of our careers tanked. Yeah. I remember fun dinners with you and Saget and Norm MacDonald. Oh, those were hysterical. I remember bringing John Stamos to see you at Caroline's on Broadway. John Stamos is a friend, and he was on Broadway in, I think it was Chicago. He was starring in the play Chicago. And I brought my brother-in-law and John Stamos to Caroline's.

We were watching Gilbert, and this was about six, seven years ago, and Gilbert is up there doing Callista Flockhart is so skinny jokes. And Stamos is needling me going, hey, he's great, but I saw him do these jokes 15 years ago, the same joke. And I go, dude, you're in Chicago.

That plays at 50 years old. It's a classic joke. Calista Flockhart's still skinny. He's a classic joke. Mr. Flockhart's still skinny. He's still doing Norman Fell material. Yeah, right. From 78, from when I saw him at the old Carolines. Dave, Jeff raised an interesting question. He was asking Gilbert what comics he admired.

Who, Gilbert? Starting out. Same question for you, because I'm curious. Were you one of these guys like Jeff that would sort of stay up to watch Rodney on Carson? Yes. You know, that was one of the first

live shows I ever got to see was Rodney Dageville at the Westbury Music Theater. Yeah, I'll tell you. Great crowd. In the 80s when he was at his height. Maybe he'll be

a big comic someday. I didn't get to meet him or anything like that. Hey, I see you out there in Roche. Kid's laughing a little too hard. You know how now in the clubs everybody's doing

with the phones and all that recording, but the guy sitting next to me had a pad out and I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm writing these down for tomorrow. I'm going to use them at work. Really? Hey, how was your weekend, Jim? You know, my mother-in-law.

Wait, hold on. No, no, no. I mean, I mean, my, forget it. But yeah, it was so funny. Now, you told a story, Jeff, that you were talking, I guess, at a fryer's thing, and you went up to the podium, and you were killing. Yeah. And Milton Berle was sitting. And tell us what was going on.

Oh, well, my very first roast ever, Milton Berle was the roast master, and we were roasting Steven Seagal. Oh. And I didn't really care much about Steven Seagal. I just knew I wanted to be up there with Milton Berle and Buddy Hackett and Henny Youngman and I had my one good suit on it was my first roast I worked really hard on it

I had pages of shit I had to go through I wanted to really just and every time I got a big laugh my opening joke was a lot of you don't know me but I feel uniquely qualified to be here today because I'm also a shitty actor. Steven Seagal, you know, looked at me.

He's the only one not laughing. And right when I got the laugh, Milton Berle poked me in the ribs. He was sitting right behind me as I was at the podium. And I jumped up. And it was kind of odd. And the only person that that ever done that to me poked me was my canter during my haftorah and that was to like relax me and i was like i don't need to be relaxed i'm a professional comedian why is this old fart like touching me while i'm

performing in front of 1500 people at the hilton in new y. My first Friars. And he gave me a terrible introduction too. He just came from a convention from Las Vegas where he performed at a convention for lesbians with dildo rash. That's how he brought me up. And every time I get a laugh, he hits me.

And finally I started engaging with him and going back and forth. And I said said I saw Milton Milton I saw you downtown today in an antique shop. He's like oh yeah? I go 1200 bucks. And he starts coming after me and finally Buddy Hackett

was like 30 feet down the down the dais and he goes he's off Mike he's just sitting. Milton, let the kid work. Remember when you used to? And Milton ran down there and he kissed Buddy and the two of them. I said, between the two of them, they have over 30 years of homosexual experience.

And then Milton came back and took over back to podium. And I loved it. I was like riffing with the great ones. And afterwards, I asked Milton. Buddy said, go talk to Milton. We were back at the Friars Club having a drink. And Buddy and I sort of, you know, we palled up right there. I loved him for sticking up for me.

And I went to talk to Milton. And Milton, I asked him why he was poking at me. And he didn't really answer me directly, but he said, they only remember the home runs. They only remember the home runs. And later I was like, I guess he means I went on too long or something. And Buddy later told me

that it was because he was jealous. He would get jealous and he would just... Interesting. He would be juvenile. He would just annoy people for no reason. So it's hard to know. Either way, it was good advice. They only remember the home runs.

I have a similar story with Stan Laurel. Instead of with his finger, I was getting the business end of his cane, if you know what I mean. Now, a train was coming at us, so we got off the track, but there was another track, and a train was coming the opposite direction. I was out front trying to restart the engine. I didn't realize you were that old. I'm very old, Jeff. Yeah, Laurel. Yeah, I'll tell you.

Great podcast. Great podcast. Wouldn't that be great if Rodney was alive during all this podcasting? Can you imagine him like, how long is this going to take? Come on. I've got to get out of here. Supposed to be at the Sands. Before we jump off Miltie, it's in the book.

He did show you. You are one of the select honored few who got to see it. I did see his penis. Tell us in detail. This is for you, Gil. We can't move on. I haven't thought about this in a long time.

We're at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills. Milton was sort of in his wheelchair stage of his life. And I had just done a roast for Joe Torre, the Yankees manager.

And Milton took a bow. And I had just done a roast for Joe Torre, the Yankees manager, and Milton took a bow. And I said, look, Milton Berle, he's like 90 years old, and look, he has a wheelchair for his cock. So big. So Milton did jump out of his seat and wave, but then he'd go back into the wheelchair, and basically he was not really performing anymore. And I would have lunch with him at the Friars Club like two times a week or so. And I don't think he needed help getting to the bathroom. I think he wanted to show me his cock. He said, walk me to the bathroom.

I'm like, oh, here's my big chance. You know, because you have to remember, you know, his cock was legendary. Every roast, there were a million jokes about the size of his penis. Right. Right? And when I roasted Joe Torre, I would say stuff like, Milton Berle's dick is so big it has a warning track. He jerks off with pine tar. That's how big his dick is.

You know, Milton obviously loved the attention. And I go to the bathroom with him, and we're kind of side by side at the urinal. And, you know, I know this really sounds like a fruity story, but it really is a show business story. You know, he didn't say anything about it at all, but I just couldn't resist side-eyeing, like getting a little glimpse, and I didn't even see the whole thing.

Wow. I saw what seemed to be like 40%, judging by where his hand was, I saw a little less than half of it, and it was humongous. Gilbert's so envious. I have a question.

So what did it taste like? That reminds me of when I saw Toadie feel stumped. Now, we were backstage at Battle of the Network Store in 72. Give me that one. Give it. Give it.

Tony's stump. I saw her stump in all its glory. We bump podcasts, Mike. This is so much fun. Almost as much fun as the Mirage June 7th. Nice work. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.

At Bet365, we don't do ordinary. We believe that every sport should be epic. Every goal, every game, every point every point every play from the moments that are remembered forever to the ones you've already forgotten whether it's a game-winning goal in the final seconds of overtime or a shot on goal in the first period so whatever the sport whatever the moment it's never ordinary at bet 365 must be 19 or older ontario only please pay responsibly if you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Dave, did you befriend any older comics?

No, Jeff has got like the, really, Jeff, no, is, he really, like we all, I wanted to be Sam Kinison, I wanted to be Bill Hicks. Right.

And Jeff, you know, when he got involved with the Friars, he basically revitalized that whole thing. He did. He would tell me,

when I talk to him, I go, where are you? He's like, I'm just going to whatever. He's like, Shecky Green's accountant died. I had to get on a plane. I wanted to do the eulogy. I don't know if you remember. I don't know if you remember.

He knows all these great names. It's like, I wish I knew them, you know? You learn a lot from your elders. Absolutely. I agree with that. Yeah. Now, Gilbert, I got to ask you, you probably have met over your career, like, some people that we wouldn't even think of. Like, who was your comic idol?

Who was it? Oh, God. Let's see. Well, I met Henny Youngman a couple of times. That was great. I loved Henny Youngman. Meaning Henny. But I haven't, you know, I don't remember that many older comics I've met.

Well, Jerry. Yeah, Jerry I met. That was, you know, amazing. Hackett. Hackett, yeah. The big four. Jerry Hackett, Burl. No.

Oh, Burl I met a couple of times. He was hysterical. When we were on Burt Kreisner's podcast, The Cooking Show with Burt, and Burt's a very funny guy, really cool. He also is super respectful to the legendary comic. He asked Gilbert, who he worked with in New York in the 70s and all that kind of stuff. Gilbert, who he worked with in New York in the 70s and all that kind of stuff. And I said that Gilbert knew them all.

And he said, did he know Freddie Prinze? And I said, of course he did. He handed him a gun and said, here's my gun and cocaine. I'll be back in a few minutes. And Bert's like, is that real? And I'm like, come on, dude.

We do talk about those 70s comics. I love them. When you started. We've talked about guys like that. Guys like Timmy Rogers. Oh, yes, yes. And I remember Gabe Kaplan, when I was a teenager at Catch, Gabe Kaplan would go on, and one of his bits was like, you know, there was this group of kids in a school named the Sweathogs.

Really? Yeah. And there was an annoying kid named Horseshack. So that was his act? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm doing it on Carson. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's pretty cool. And, of course, in the act, he would say, and then they'd call him horseshit, but he couldn't do that. Yeah. Did you meet Johnny Carson? Never. No.

Never had any connection with Carson. And did you like him more as a host or as a magician? No one ever talks about his magic. Let's talk about it now. Carsoni. Yeah. Carsoni. Yeah. Carsoni. I like how people go, you know, he's a frustrated magician.

Oh, okay. I don't think most magicians are frustrated. Yeah, I figure, you know. Were you guys Steve Martin fans in the day? Also a magician. My favorite. And what I like about Steve Martin is that when you think about crowds and how crowds have changed, is that he had the other end

of the kind of crowds we have now because now everybody's so you know sensitive and PC his crowd they basically were all high everybody was high

there aren't every kind of drug you can imagine they were party people you know and that's just the crowd he had and you could hear it on those albums

of like he can barely set up the joke they're still laughing at the last joke and they're like just yelling at him. Same thing with Carlin and also, what's his name? Albert Brooks. Like they had that kind of party crowd.

They were more of a rock and roll crowd than today's crowd. That's for sure. Same problem the Beatles had. He had to stop performing because the crowd was too, was too long. We don't have that problem. We do not have that. You can hear a pin drop. He had to stop performing because the crowd was too... I feel like Dave and I...

We don't have that problem. We do not have that. You can hear a pin drop. I'm not lying to you, Frank. I feel like that gig we did last week, I felt like we had like a rock crowd. Yeah, Bethlehem PA, that's our hood. Yeah, that's our room.

I felt like we had a rock show vibe going. That's not Amish country? We just looked at the artwork and liner notes and stuff for the Bumping Mike's vinyl album that's coming out. And when I was holding it, I did feel like I was in a band in a way. You know how when you're a kid,

you're like, hey, if I ever have an album, this is going to be... Bumping Mike's to me feels like I'm in some kind of band. There's nothing better on vinyl record than crowd work. I'll tell you that.

You get to use your imagination. I remember listening to Hello Dummy, which is Don Rickles' thing. Oh, sure. He's talking to people in the crowd. I'm like, I wonder what suit that guy's wearing. Wow. Who is that guy? He must be Japanese.

He must be my dad. Based on the jokes, he must be Asian. He has. Who would always be in the third row. It's like, oh, and the Asian guy in the third row. Tell us a little bit about Rickles since we segued in there. I love him. You wrote a nice tribute to him in Rolling Stone.

Yeah, I did. I cared about Don because he made it okay to not just be self-deprecating, but all deprecating. He would make fun of stuff. not just be self-deprecating, but all deprecating. He would make fun of stuff. He wasn't afraid to speak truth to powerful people.

And I love that. You know, and his daughter, Mindy Rickles, is on Gilbert's episode of the historical row. She actually plays Don Rickles. Really? And I admired Don.

I can't say we were close buddies but i certainly uh considered him a friend and he has he's the master at that you know so and you know a lot of his stuff when you when you think about it like how do you develop an act like that and that's like a lot of lounge, late night lounge, you know, drunks working with drunks, working with hecklers. That's how we started doing that. Really?

That kind of act Vegas, old Vegas, not the Disney Vegas, the old Vegas. Like you could just see it. And I'm like the, the fighter, you know?

And I, and I love that. And he developed it, crafted it into like its own thing. And, and we're all like, you know, we're all in awe of how we did it.

And especially back then, it wasn't like a tweet. It was like a guy waiting for you outside. He wants to punch you up. You know, like that was definitely a tune up time. So that's what I love about Rickles and how like the other acts would come down to see him because they knew it was so different. You know,

like Frank Sinatra, all those guys would come and see him late. You know, they tell me back in the day, you know, he played slate brothers. Is that the name of the place? On La Cienega? That he had an act,

his act wasn't even insult comedy, it was impressions. Huh, I didn't know that. That that grew over time, probably as Dave says, from the crowd work. Yeah, he would work strip clubs, so he would MC.

Yeah. And he would sing, like people... Yes, yes. He wanted to be an actor, that's what I know. He went to acting school. Yeah.

And he was a showman. Even up into his 90s, he had an orchestra on stage, and he would do his Yankee Doodle, and he would do James Cagney impressions, and he would tap dance, and he would bring people on stage and do a little play acting. And a lot of it was he would improvise. Oftentimes, I would get asked to speak at the same functions like you know friends would have big birthday parties and don would speak and i would speak and of course don would always speak last and he'd always tease me for being too prepared like i would

write a roast you know john stamos's 50th birthday i wrote i worked days on it i wanted to do well you know john stamos is so handsome the birthday candles blew him and then don would always tease me about like being prepared he would always tease me right right and and then ironically i really learned to trust myself and not be so prepared that i could go off the cuff at a memorial for don rickles um his manager Tony O, at the very last second said, will you say something and handed me a microphone on a minute's notice. And I spoke about Don for a long time, very off the cuff emotionally. And I loved him. He was like the Pope of comedy. The kind of comedy he did was healing. It helped people laugh at themselves. It took race and gender and made it something not important,

something to laugh about, and it bonded people. So shout out to Don Rick. Yes. Would have been, I think, 92 this week. And performing to the end. Absolutely. And I remember he lived old enough to start to get into that generation of being offended. Right.

And there was one joke that was all over the internet. How horrible. John Rickles was talking about Barack Obama, and he says he's a friend of mine. He was over the house, but he had to leave early. His mop broke. Terrible joke. Everyone got offended.

And I remember thinking You know I'll bet you If the president heard that He would have laughed I don't know about that Did your dad pull a Sinatra On Don Rickles? Oh yeah

When we were in Down at Borgata I was thinking about that The other day My dad loved to gamble In the 80s When they built Resorts International Casino down in Atlantic City.

My dad was a regular. And there's that famous story where Don tells on The Tonight Show. He goes over to Frank. You know, you tell it. Then I'll tell you what my dad did. Well, he goes over to Frank and he says, there's a girl I'm with and I'm really trying to make it with her. And it would mean a lot to me. It would really be great if you came over to the table really quickly and said a quick hello.

And Sinatra said, no problem. Is that pretty much the setup? And then when Frank went over, Don asked, he said, can't you see I'm with people? So my dad heard that story on a Tonight Show. My dad was just a caterer from New Jersey who was enjoying Atlantic City and the gambling, and he would see Don Rickles at the same restaurant every month or so. My dad loved to go down there. And my dad's girlfriend at the time was also named Barbara.

So he went over to Don and said, I really want to impress this chick. When you go to the bathroom, can you just wave and pretend you know me? My name is Ron. Her name is Barbara. So whether Don got got or he was just being a good sport he did it he came over to my dad's table and said hey ronnie is this barbara you told me about you know enjoy your meal and my dad dropped his fork and said don can't you see i'm eating my dad you know he loved that story forever he loved comedy dave I got a question for you.

Yeah? Why did you say that every comic is a porn historian? Every comic is a porn historian? Yeah. Is that a thing? You said it. You were giving an interview about Dave's porn collection. Well, I don't know if you know this, Frank.

I've become a faith-based comic. So I'm not saying I didn't say it, but I'm saying I'm a different man. No, I think that the vintage porn, which is the show that I did. Yes. The show I miss, by the way. Yeah, that was on Showtime, and that was two seasons. Never had Jeff on it. Gilbert, you were on it, right?

I don't think so. Dave's old porn. I'm not so sure. Because that was my favorite of all the projects I self-produced. Where is your old porn? What's that? When I moved, it was like basically... You ever see like an

eagle when the birds now are able to fly? It was like good luck. I had to let go of all that porn. And I gave it to a mutual friend. Set it free. A mutual friend, Dave, whose friend would sell it on the web. And I'm like, I don't even know if anybody has a DVD anymore. I'm the only guy with 300 DVDs. It's pretty sad.

But I really loved doing that show. I liked tributing the old porn stars with both the new people in the business and also letting the comics see some of these really retro, raunchy clips. So that was the beauty of it. And the comics, I think, since we have so much downtime, so much alone time, that porn does fill the void for a lot of us. Now, a lot of these younger comics, let's hit the gym. Let's, I don't know, play some game online. Back then, it was really just porn. Vanessa Del Rio and Erica Boyer.

Yes. Christy Canyons lives in my neighborhood. She does. She was one of my favorites, honestly. So beautiful. Any of these names mean anything to you, Gilbert? No, not those. Vanessa Del Rio.

Okay, that's more familiar. That's a local girl, by the way. Yes. Yes, Staten Island, not those. Vanessa Del Rio. Okay, that's more familiar. That's a local girl, by the way. Yes. Yes, Staten Island, Strong Island. I remember when porn, there was that short period of time when they started showing porn in legitimate theaters. Yes. Like The Exorcist. Last Tango in Paris.

What? It was like when The Exorcist and the behind the green door time. Yeah. The late 70s. Devil and Miss Jones. Yep. Or screw on screen was one that Goldstein made. But you know, when I think of those times, like, would I really stand on line for, you know, double gaping anal?

I don't think so. Like, honey, I know it's raining out, but this is going to be good. It was a more innocent time. You got your money ready? Roma's at the box office. What was that show we talked about

when we had you on in Gilbert's Kitchen? You were talking about a TV show that you loved as a kid. It was an outer space show. Do you remember this conversation we had?

Geez, I don't know. Gilbert knows all those great TV shows. Was it a Sid and Marty Croroff thing or something like that? I have to go back and listen to the episode. But I will say this is that I am doing a new show, and Jeff probably talked about it a little bit,

but I have my own new show that I'm doing. I'm excited for this because Dave's been working on this idea for a long time. And I was asking maybe, you know, Gilbert, if you'd want to be on it because it's a new show. It's called Celebrity Hospice. And it's people whose careers die before they do. We let them go with a little dignity. Excellent setup, Jeff. I got to go pee.

Can I go pee? Go pee. All right. I'll hold the fort. Yeah, we'll stop. So now we can talk all sci-fi stuff. Gilbert, I didn't know you were a sci-fi fan. Did you watch the original Star Trek?

No. You didn't like it? No. Are you a Twilight Zone guy, Dave? I love it. We got Rod Serling's daughter coming here on Monday to talk about- No way. All the way from Albany?

Yes. Is that where she's from? Yes. I read that book about Rod Serling, and as a Jewish man, I really felt like, I want to be like Rod Serling, a chain-smoking World War II vet.

Yes! With a creative writing degree out of Syracuse University. I know a lot about him. I loved him. Yeah, and you're a Planet of the Apes fan, as we talked about on the last show. Not the TV show Planet of the Apes.

No. The real movies. I loved it. The screenplay by Rod Serling. And all of the Charlton Heston post-apocalyptic movies. Omega Man. Oh, yeah. That's great stuff.

Yes. That was great. Soiling Green, of course. Yes, with Emory G. Robinson. Yes, exactly. And then there was that other movie that was also Last Man on Earth with Vincent Price

that was the original Omega Man all these movies now about zombies and all that kind of stuff Richard Matheson I think and now I don't know what movies you guys watch but it's very difficult to watch I assume with the kids you gotta watch a don't know what movies you guys watch, but, you know, it's very difficult to watch.

I assume with the kids, you got to, you know, watch a lot of these kids' movies, correct? Oh, yeah. And what, because I remember the last time I was here, I was like, so what do you do with the kids? And you said you make them watch these old monster movies. He does. Yeah. And I said, I bet you your kids are so popular at school. You want to talk about the mummy, the wolf man.

I want to ask how you, Amy Schumer just named her baby in part. Yeah, no, the middle name. The middle name. And Amy's always been so good to me, so funny and just like, you know,

I was so excited when she's having the baby and she said you know what i want to i want to i want to um name the baby uh give give the baby your name and i was like okay well dave is cool you know that's always pretty you know there's another you know dave's pretty you know middle of the road she's like no no your last name and i'm like what you know i felt bad for the baby. But then I was like, it's such a nice compliment. You know, how can I not, you know, just take it as that? Because it's so sweet of her to do it.

It is sweet. You know, I really just kind of say, you know, the best compliment I got was like, well, you know, that's good. So your name will live on, you know, because you're never going to have kids. I'm like, okay, thanks. It's like either that or a bridge or a street. That's a boat. So that was cool.

And yeah, she's the best. Has she ever been on the show? We never had Amy. Oh, I think we asked her. She is so cool. When we used to tour around, like for a while there, we did a great tour one time.

It was me, Amy, Jim Norton, Artie. Jim we had. Artie Lang, and I think even Bill Burr was on one or two shows. And I always felt so bad for Amy because she was the Marilyn and we were the Munsters. These old grizzled comics. And she held her own and then she was great. So Amy is top notch. We should have her. Oh, where'd you get all the snacks? Oh, Ross came back with snacks.

I didn't know you took a shuttle flight. That's like shuttle flight food. Pretzels and a banana, an unripe banana. By the way, a very flattering piece about you, Dave, in the Times a couple of months ago, written by Jason Zinnemann, wrote a good book about the Letterman Show. He was at the show show and I brought Amy on at Caroline's and he was sitting

right up front. I felt so bad for him because both Amy and I were like, that guy looks so familiar. Who is that guy? And we're like, I think he's a reporter.

And then afterwards we talked to him and I said, are you writing an article or something? He goes, I'm off duty. Don't worry about it.

And then I guess it was a slow news week a couple months later and he banged that out. So tip of the hat to him, man. He is a true comedy fan, so I love that he came down. He knows his stuff. That was great. He loves that you busted on him, too, that you

called him Stephen Hawking's stunt double. He was sitting there. He was sitting there. I felt so bad for the poor guy. He was sitting out front in one of those seats where you're like, this poor guy doesn't know what he's up to. And then I guess he just rolled with it, though. He just sat there. He was fine.

Okay. Real quick, before we get you guys out of here, I'm jumping around. I got a couple of questions for Dave from listeners. Do you want to hear these? I got to go. You got to go.

Go ahead. Let's hear it. Okay. I love you guys. How did, how did you know? I might be able to come back, but I got to take a phone call.

Seriously? Yeah. Okay. Fucking hour and a half. Wow. What would Milton Berle do? I think he would stay here. I'll come back, but I got to take it.

How long is the call? I don't know. I'll find out. This is the first time since we've had this show where a guest said, I got to make a phone call. And then what? Well, I have to take a phone call. This is also the first time you've had a guest who has an Anne Frank roast that just hit the Netherlands. Oh!

That's what the call's about? Yes, I have to take this call. Oh, you'd be surprised how many of those we've had. All right, you take the call. I'm going to ask Dave the questions that were meant for you. Gilbert, I just want to say I love you on behalf of Dave and myself. Thank you for being a part of Bumpin' Mike's. You're a legend.

Yes, you really are. You are a legend. You have an open invite to be on the stage whenever, however you want with us because you complete us. You really do. Oh, thank you. That's so sweet. Try Bump. Try Bump.

That's three in. That's so sweet. Try Bump. Try Bump. That's three in. That's so sweet. And thank you. Frank and Frank, good luck to you on your book about Pat McCormick or whatever you're doing. I wish. I'm going to see you next week. I'm coming on The View. You're coming on The View. You'll be there.

I will. I love it. Sounds like a threat. And thanks. I thank the both of you for having me on Bumping Mics. That was a lot of fun. And I thank you, Jeff, for having me on the To Be Hitler. Historical notes. Historical roast. You instantly make it a classic.

Before you go, give us the plugs again. And I'm going to make you read one of my favorite Jeff Ross roast jokes. Oh, here it is. When I roasted Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons is such an asshole that his own asshole changed its name to Murray. That's a great one. I forgot about that one, Frank. Thank you for that.

That's a classic. Really? I can plug our shows again? Go ahead. Oh, absolutely. This makes me so happy. Yep. I don't know what you guys are doing June 6th and 7th, but Dave and I will be at the Mirage in Las Vegas.

Oh, gee, I'm working. I was talking to your audience. June 6th and 7th. There's no better way to celebrate D-Day than at the Mirage. I've never played the Morongo before out in Cabazon, California. Have you? No, I haven't. June 14th, Dave and I will be there.

And these shows, they're like events. Anything can happen. That's what we should have called it, the Anything Can Happen Tour. June 15th, we'll be at Harrah's in Southern California. Dave loves the casino shows because he can smoke in the elevator. Yeah, I can smoke anywhere I want. He smokes in the elevator. I never saw a guy smoke in the elevator before. And plug the Netflix show again. October 4th and 5th. I'm not anywhere I want. He smokes in the elevator. I never saw a guy smoke in the elevator before.

And plug the Netflix show again. October 4th and 5th. I'm not done. Okay. Jesus. We'll be in Dave's hometown. Huntington. Huntington Paramount Theater.

Tickets are going fast. By the way, we had to add shows in some of these places. Oh, good. Great. We're doing great. And speaking of Canada, we're going to Winnipeg October 20th. Yeah, take that. You know what?

We should cancel that one. Why? Fucking go to Winnipeg. What time of year are we going? October. October. Awesome.

Oh. Is there some kind of, I guess, Uber dog sled that you can suggest, Gilbert? That could open for us down there. Before we go, I want to say that Dave

said one of the funniest things in the history of this show. Gilbert asked if he knew about Danny Thomas' fetish. And Dave said, children's hospitals? And our listeners are still talking about that 200 shows later. Put a Shriners cap on his head, Neil. Thank you, boys. Thanks for having us, guys. We love you both.

Thank you, boys. Thanks for having us, guys. We love you both. Thank you. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And our guest, making it one of the easiest shows we've ever done, Jeff Ross and Dave Attell. Thank you. Thank you, boys. Thank you. Bump it up. Pump it up. Everybody in.

Frank, get in there. You want to say anything about Abe Vigoda before you jump off? Abe Vigoda's so old, his SAG number is three. Good grab, man. Gilbert, we went to his funeral. Yeah, Gilbert roasted him. Gilbert and I both memorialized him. Long live Abeva Goat.

I'm dedicating October 4th in Huntington to Ava Goat. Jeff, hard promotion. Thanks, guys. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast Thank you. Contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn.