Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 278. Amazing Colossal Trivia Call-in Show (with Rupert Holmes)

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

Gilbert and Frank are joined by special guest pop culture expert Rupert Holmes for the first-ever "Amazing Colossal Trivia Call-in Show." Also: Cesar Romero meets Sid Melton, Kirk Douglas inspires "Barney Miller," Jay Leno partners with Pat Morita and Frank Gorshin passes the torch to Jamie Farr. PLUS: "The Phantom of the Paradise"! "The Return of Doctor X"! James Bond's greatest nemesis! Rupert hangs with Charles Bronson! The curse of the Spinal Tap drummers! And the secret origin of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song")! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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TD Insurance advisor to learn more. Hi, this is Treat Williams and you're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. I'm not so sure if it's amazing,

but that's what they told me to say. Thank you. hi it's gilbert godfrey this is gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast i'm here with my co-host frank santo padre and a return guest yes the, the great Rupert Holmes is in our presence. Mr. Great Rupert Holmes. Mr. Rupert Holmes. And this is going to be our special trivia. Our call-in trivia. We've never done this, Rupert.

We did a call-in show where we just took calls, people telling us how wonderful we were, but we never did trivia questions. Before we get to the show. Maiden voyage. A new, the plot thickens. Okay. Not only was Cesar Romero having orange wedges flung at his ass, but Cesar Romero fucked Desi Arnaz.

Not substantiated. Yeah. Not confirmed. And I heard when Cesar Romero came, Desi Arnaz would scream, Cesar, you got some spraining to do. Rupert, are you sorry you came already? Already. Already. That's what Cesar Romero said. I'm sorry I came.

He's obsessed. Cesar Romero played the mad magician in Charlie Chan on Treasure Island in 1939. You are spooky. Excellent. That's good. So, and he fucked Charlie Chan? Warner Olin? No, it was a threesome with Fernando Lamas.

There you go. This is the kind of goodies you can look forward to, listeners, on the Maiden Voyage, the first ever call-in trivia show. So, we're going to get right to it. Voyage, the first ever call-in trivia show. So we're going to get right to it. We brought Rupert in as our guest trivia expert to make Gilbert and I look good. No, we've given up on that. No, you've got to remember, I'm a 20th century trivia expert. You know what I'm saying?

Around 1990, I stopped having any interest, so we'll see what happens. Okay, so questions about Sandra Bernhard? No. Well, I can do something. Sarah Bernhard. Sarah what happens. Okay, so questions about Sandra Bernhardt? No. Well, I can do something. Sarah Bernhardt. Sarah Bernhardt. Yeah, it's not Sandra Bernhardt. She and comedy, that's fine. Yeah, yeah.

Here we go. We going to start, Frankie? What do we got? We have the first caller from the amazing area code of 314. Dara? Dara 314? Dara's going to guess area codes. I don't know 314.

She's stumped. I'm going with Sheboygan. Let's have a listen. Okay. Don't mention my name. Here we are. Who's on the line? Hey, guys.

Hey, who's this? This is Andrew LaPosha from St. Louis. Andrew, we know you from Facebook. Yeah, I'm very active on Listener Society. That's probably where you know me from. You are the first caller. You are the sacrificial lamb tonight. Say hi to our pal, Rupert Holmes.

Hi there, Andrew. Good to meet you. Andrew, did you call us last time when we did the dial-in show? Oh, I tried like over a hundred times. You really did? Bless your heart. You've scored this time. Yeah, I'm glad. You hit pay dirt. Let's see if you can stump the two geniuses sitting here with me. And I will try to hold my own. Okay, so in 1998, Frank Sinatra died of a heart attack at Cedars-Sinai.

When he died, who was the celebrity who was recovering from angioplasty in the next room? Boy, we're going dark. All I know is that... What a weird first question. It is a weird call. Yeah. You know, no one loves a good angioplasty joke as much as I do. But I do know.

That's why we invited you here. Here's what I can tell you. I think there was a big controversy because Barbara Marks, he was married to Barbara Marks. Zeppo's ex. I think it was. No, Zeppo. It was Zeppo's ex? Yeah, Zeppo's ex.

Barbara Marks was Zeppo's ex? Yeah, it was Zeppo's ex. All remarks were Zeppo's ex. I always wondered if there's kind of like a cadre in show business of like, Zeppo says she's really good, Frank. You know, that kind of thing. Do we have a guess on this? I don't. Who was getting an angioplasty in Margaret Dumont? 1998. An angioplasty.

I'm stumped. I'm stumped. I hope you have an answer. Did this person survive the angioplasty? Yes, he is. And he's still alive today and doing very well. So it's a guy? Wow.

Yeah. I have no guess. Is it a singer? No. It's an actor. There goes Trini Lopez, which I was going to guess. It's an actor, Andrew? We're absolutely stumped.

Rupert, you want to take a guess? Burt Lahr. That's not still with us. That's very good. Bob Barker. Who was it? No, not quite. Andrew, we're really curious.

Dana Carvey. Dana Carvey. Well, that's a brilliant question. Wow. Because, you see, we're just automatically picturing someone in that same age range. Wow. Yes, I was going for Burt Remsen all the way. Oh, and that's the one where Dana Carvey wound up suing the hospital because they operated on the wrong part of his heart or something.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, maybe the same. Crazy shit. They operated on the wrong valve in his heart or something. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, maybe the same. Crazy shit. They operated on the wrong valve in his heart. Andrew, you were a cardiologist? No, not quite. I work in a hospital. How did you stumble across this piece of information?

I'm not sure where I first heard it. I heard it somewhere. It might have been an article, like one of those 10 facts about Dana Carvey kind of things. I just stumbled across that one day, and I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. This is excellent. Excellent question. Andrew, we're impressed, and thank you.

We're very good. When we don't answer all the easy questions, then it'll be more embarrassing. And all of us were thinking of some guy in his 80s. I was going to say Victor Moan. Yeah. Who was getting a spinal fusion on the third floor? Very good.

Congratulations, man. Thank you, Andrew. Great question. We'll talk to you, buddy. We'll see you on social. All right. Thanks. Thank you.

Thank you. See, this is the kind of thing you can look forward to tonight, Rupert. Oh, boy. I haven't had fun like this than never. Hopefully never, ever. All right. had fun like this than never. Hopefully. Hopefully never, ever. Alright, we're off to a rollicking start. Who's next, Frankie? This caller is from the great state of wherever 530 is.

Dara. 530. Is that Texas? Hello, this is Ray Garten calling from Anderson, California. Anderson, California. Hello, Ray. I know you, too, from Facebook. How are you? Yeah, yeah. I'm good. How are you? Good. Say hi to Gilbert and the great Rupert. Hi. Hi there. Hello, Ray. I know you, too, from Facebook. How are you? Yeah, yeah. I'm good. How are you?

Good. Say hi to Gilbert and the Great Rupert. Hi. Hi there. Hello, Gilbert and Rupert. This one is for Gilbert. Okay. Uh-oh.

What was the first horror movie in which Lon Chaney was the leading man? Senior or junior? Junior. I'm sorry. Ooh. It's got to be a trade. Careful, Gilbert. First?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. First, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there was that one. Oh, fuck. The one he did one that was right after of Mice and Men. Not the Interstructible. Not the Interstructible. No, no, no.

Interstructible. Way, way later. That's the 50s. This was, was it like man-made monster? No. Rupert, you have a guess on this? No, I mean, you're obviously supposed to say it's the Wolfman, but it isn't the Wolfman. No, it wasn't the Wolfman.

Was Lionel Adwell a mad doctor in it? No. No. There's that whole bunch of mad doctor ones, aren't there? There's a cluster of them. Yeah. The No. No. Ooh. There's that whole bunch of mad doctor ones, aren't there? There's a cluster of them. Yeah.

The mad ghoul. Ooh. Well, we're... That was George Zuko in the mad ghoul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gilbert's in his element. We're 0 for 2, Ray.

Andrew stumped us before you, and now we're going to throw ourselves at your mercy. What do you got? It's called A Scream in the Night, 1935. Who was the leading lady?

Who was the leading lady, Rupert wants to know? Oh. He's got to look it up. I've got to look it up. Say Marjorie Mayne. I'm wondering if it's someone. It feels like an Anne Southern or something. Go ahead.

Sheila Carey, somebody I've never heard of. Sheila Barry? Sheila Barry? Carrie? Sheila Carey. That's another great one. Sheila Barry? Sheila Barry? Carrie? Sheila Carrie. That's another great one. Good question, Ray. That's amazing.

Was it made by a major studio? Do you see there? Is it a monogram picture or universal? It was a Poverty Row studio called Commodore Pictures. Commodore. There's a name to recommend. How about that? Ray, great question.

We appreciate the call, man. A scream in the night. Thank you, buddy. I'm going to have to look out for that one. Thanks for following the show. Thank you. And for being such a great fan. Thanks.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Wow, if he stumped me on a Lon Chaney Jr. clip, that's good. That's good. Yeah, Dara's also been stumped on two area codes. Yes.

Let's go for three. We're off to a slow start. None of us know what the fuck we're talking about. I think my name is Robert Holmes. The man came

walking in the door with Robert Sterling trivia. We just, we gotta hit a nugget. We gotta hit a nugget here. Area code 585. Any guesses? 585, Dara.

Well, she's the area code expert. New York. Somewhere in New York. Somewhere in New York. Are you a New York caller? It is New York, yeah. What part of New York? New York.

Where? It's Rochester, New York. Oh, Rochester. Oh, Rochester. I'm from Dennis Day, New York. Oh, Rochester. I'm from Dennis Day, New York. I was accepted to Eastman School of Music in Rochester the day after my

father sent a check to Manhattan School of Music and I really wanted to go to Rochester. It's great up there. Eastman is probably the best one in the country next to Juilliard. Yeah, absolutely. And their wind ensemble is amazing. Amazing. And their percussion ensemble is amazing. Amazing. And the percussion, too. You would have frozen your ass off up there.

And by the way, Lou Graham of Foreigner. Foreigner, sure. Right? He comes from Rochester, yes? Didn't know. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.

And Gilbert and Frank and Rupert, do you know who now lives right outside of Rochester in a suburb? I don't. Have you identified yourself, by the way? Do we ask your name? By the way, Frank, this is Otto from Rochester. Otto Bruno? Yes. I'm a big fan of yours, Otto.

Thanks for calling in. I'm a big fan of yours, too. Otto is very active on the Listener Society. You were going to tell us who lives... I don't want to talk over you. Sorry, Otto. You were going to tell us who lives just outside of Rochester. I don't want to talk over you.

Sorry, Otto. Are you going to tell us who lives just outside of Rochester? Jerry Lewis's oldest son, Gary, married a woman from right outside of Rochester, and they live on a farm just outside of the city. Wow. That's amazing. Pretty cool. We've got to get Gary Lewis on the show. I think he just had a birthday.

Okay, Otto. Someone from the local paper just interviewed him, and they said he's almost impossible to get as an interview because he doesn't like to talk to anybody. Well, then he must be adopted because his father's a breeze to get along with. You know, Rupert worked with his dad. I got to work with Jerry Lewis. We're going to be doing a reading of a musical I wrote with Marvin Hamlisch of Nutty Professor before the end of the year.

Oh, great. I actually got to work with Jerry the last couple years of his life. Really? Yes, you've shared that with us before. I worked on that musical for a long time, but I never heard what came of it. Well, what happened was the rights after Marvin died and then Jerry died, the rights all went into legal turmoil, and we've just now settled it after about six years. Good.

Oh, Gilbert's going to look forward to that. Yeah. He's going to come. Otto, you want to fire one at us? All right. Frank and Gil, especially. Now, Otto, wait, wait. Otto, to me, sounds like Jamie Farr.

Listen to his voice. He's got a little bit of a Rochester accent. Jamie Farr was from Toledo. Toledo, yeah. He's from Toledo. And Jamie Farr was from Toledo. Toledo, yeah. He's from Toledo. And Jamie Farr took over. And try to picture this casting. Yes.

When Frank Gorshin, after about three years, stopped touring with my play about the life of George Burns called Say Goodnight, Grace. Yeah. He was replaced by Jamie Farr. Can you picture Jamie Farr as George Burns? I can't. No.

No, I cannot. Especially not in profile. Oh, my God, yeah. I can't. No. No, I cannot. Especially not in profile. Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, my God. We have to ask you about that and ask you about Gorshin sometime. Okay, Otto, take a shot. All right, you and Gil should know this

because one of your guests once told you this bit of information. Uh-huh. I usually don't listen. They don't listen. They've never... They don't know. I start daydreaming during these. I'm sorry't listen. They don't listen. They've never, they don't know. I start daydreaming.

I'm sorry. It's Rupert Holmes, not Robert Holmes. It's Rupert Holmes. We tune out. Okay, Otto, take a shot. Well, Frank knows I'm currently writing a book on the TV show Barney Miller. He does sound like Jamie Farr. Yeah, he sounds exactly.

I think it is Jamie Farr. Okay, what sounds exactly. I think it is Jamie Farr. Okay, what's the... He sounds exactly. Next, we'll have a guy that sounds like the Colonel. Now, Jamie might not have been able to pull off George Burns, but if there's a one-man Jamie Farr show... I know you're in. You know, Jamie Farr was in...

Jamie Farr, a very young Jamie Farr, was in the Blackboard Jungle. Okay. That's right. Yes, he was. Very good. Okay, was in the Blackboard Jungle. Yes, he was. Yes, he was. Very good. Okay, what's the question?

The question is, what was the dramatic film upon which Barney Miller, the TV show, the comedy was based upon? The film was a dramatic film. That's a fantastic question. Was it Police Story? Danny Arnold said that this inspired him. Was it Police Story or something like that? Was it 87th Precinct? William Wyler's police story? Is that William Wyler?

The one Lee Grant won an Oscar for? Maybe. It was not called police story. It was called detective story. Detective story! That's the one. Absolutely. Kirk Douglas and Lee Grant.

Yes. Yeah, very good. Exactly. Kirk Douglas and Lee Grant. Gilbert had the movie very good. Exactly. Kirk Douglas and Lee Grant. Gilbert had the movie, just the wrong title. That's right. All right. What does he get for that?

As another bit of trivia, the character was named after a real-life police officer that Danny knew called Barney Ruditsky. And they did a TV show in the 60s about Barney Rudisky called The Lawless Years. And it starred James Gregory, who eventually played Detective Luger. We know James Gregory. James Gregory had one of the noblest voices. There's a Twilight Zone where Gig Young goes back to his own past. Walking distance.

Walking distance with a score by Bernard Herrmann. And James Gregory plays Gig Young's father. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's Frank Overton. Frank Overton played his father. Is that Frank Overton? Yes. Don't you come here.

I'm sorry. I'm leaving the room. Don't come here talking about walking distance with Gig Young. Was that Frank Overton? Frank Overton. Okay, yeah. All right. It and Frank Overton. It was Frank Overton. Otto, great question. Great Jamie Farr impression. We appreciate the call, buddy.

Hey, you guys, I love you guys. Thanks so much. Maybe there are carousels where you're from, Martin. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Then you know when I'm going to, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. Yeah. Then you know when I'm going to, I don't want to know. Yeah.

What about Hal Linden? Oh, just that he played a very good clarinet. Yes, he played it on this show. He did. On this podcast. He did. Yes. It was great.

You bet. I'll send you that link. That's amazing. Because I'm always wondering how the guest is going to be. And so it begins, he takes out his clarinet. Fantastic. And plays. And I thought, Hal Linden's already a great guest.

He was. He was a terrific guest. Just laying the clarinet. All right. Who's up next? Frank Vergarosa. I don't know where this area code is, but let's see if they can tell us. Hello, caller.

Yes, I have a question for Jamie Farr. if they can tell us. Hello, caller. Yes, I have a question for Jamie Farr. Would you happen to be from Milwaukee, caller? Yes, I have a question. Do you know of a

mediocre comedian who steals stories and has no original story? This is a friend of ours. I'm Philly Rupert in. Is this London Lee? My mother says to thank you. London Lee.

Gino Salamone, friend of the podcast. Hello. Hello, pal. Talking to Rupert is a great thrill. Rupert, you add so much. I wish Frank would get rid of the other guy. Rupert is here to class up the joint. How you doing, kiddo?

Did Gilbert steal another story? Oh, please. Gino's an old friend of Gilbert's, and he claims that Gilbert steals all of Gino's best anecdotes and then owns them. Co-ops them. This is like the time when I was in school and the teacher said, Gino, can you answer this question?

Gino, did you actually come armed with a trivia question? No, the show sounds great. I just wanted to call and say hello, and I've always wanted to talk to Rupert. So, hello, Rupert. Hi, I have a lot of problems. You want to listen? Here's the thing. Did you know Rupert met Groucho?

I did. I did get to meet him. How about that? Yeah, I did. How about that? What was the circumstance? I was at Columbia Pictures' 30th anniversary party, and I sat at a table, and I'll tell you who was at the table. There was Frank Capra.

Wow. John Huston. Oh! Charles Bronson. George Siegel. Groucho Marx. Barbara Streisand, who was my date, sort of, and me. There was a caption under the photo saying, circle which person.

That's a pinch yourself day. Nice work, my friend. It was an amazing thing. And Groucho said, because Rupert needed some money. You do the greatest aged Groucho ever done. And there's a lot of call for it. Anyone can do the eye wiggle, but you do the,

I've got one more year with Aaron and it's all over. Yes, yes. Gino, we love you. Thank you. You know what's so sad about that story, Rupert? What?

That it'll be Gilbert's story next week. Gino, I love you to death. Bye-bye, pal. We'll talk to you. Also, Gino, it's time to death. Bye-bye, pal. We'll talk to you. Also, Gino, it's time to switch cell providers. Yes. We're going to go to a beautiful star spread in the news, New York, New York. Okay.

With a 2-1-2? Close. 6-4-6. Who's on the line, please? Hello? Hello. He just got in under the wire. Who's on the line, please? Hello? Hello? Who's calling?

This is Sam Weisberg from Hidden Films. How are you? Sam, how are you? Thanks for calling the show. We thought we were going to lose you there for a second. Say hello to the great Rupert Holmes. Hello, how are you? See, there's an excitement that he's holding back. I make a great 12th impression.

Is this Tommy Newsome? Turns out he doesn't like pina coladas. Sam, how are you, man? You got a trivia question for us? Yeah, sorry about that. Not at all. Two-and-a-half-year-old daughter wanted me to put you can't always get what you want on my wife's cell phone.

Wow. It happens all the time. She's a big Mick Jagger fan. That's amazing. Okay, you want to take a whack at stumping the brain trust here? Sure. So you guys had an episode where you did actors that directed only once. We did.

actors that directed only once. We did. And I wanted to try to stump you with name at least one comedian that directed only once and the movie. Name a comedian that directed only once. I'm going to say Bob Saget. You know, I was just thinking that.

Was it Dirty Work? Yep. Is Bob Saget a good guess? Yeah, let me see if he... That wasn't the one I had in mind. Somewhere wrong again! I'm going to have so much fun with sound effects later. I'm sure you have someone else in mind who goes further back, right? Give us an error.

Maybe we'll guess it. Female comedian. Oh, Joan Rivers with Rabbit Test? Yes. Nice, Gilbert. Yeah! Joan Rivers with Rabbit Test. Beautiful.

Starring Billy Crystal. Beautiful. As the first pregnant man. That's right. By the way, he won't talk about that. He never talked about that movie. Crystal won't?

Yeah. Interesting. That was a great question, Sam. Gilbert redeemed himself for the last 12 shows. See?

We thank you, buddy. Thanks for calling and thanks for holding on. Great question. Great job. I should also announce that we're going to give a prize, a mystery prize. We'll get the address through Facebook.

And the prize is Gino Salamone's cell phone. A brand new cell phone plan for the best question of the night. Well, they're great questions. This has been a good question so far. These are all... Yeah. So there is a slight competition. All of them. Terrific. Really good. good questions so far. These are all... Yeah. So there is a slight competition.

All of them are terrific. Really good. Moving right along. Let's go to 732. 732, Dara. Texas. Texas. No, or is it New Jersey?

It's somewhere in the U.S. Dara guesses New Jersey. New Jersey. Yeah, it's Jersey. It's New Jersey. Correct. Correct, Dara. Very good.

Who, may I say, is calling? This is Tom and Deb calling from Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Hello, Tom and Deb. Correct, Ara. Very good. Who may I say is calling? This is Tom and Deb calling from Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Hello, Tom and Deb. That's Point Pleasant. We just saw Gilbert a couple weeks ago at Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant. Oh, thank you. How was he? My wife gave him an orange after the show.

They actually flung it at my ass. That's right. No greater sign of respect. Isn't the first Jersey Mike's sub sandwich place from Point Pleasant? Isn't that where it originated? That is correct. Look at this guy. Arnold Avenue, Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

Rupert's not only got Rochester and Point Pleasant, New Jersey trivia going, not only showbiz trivia. I'm impressed. Tom and Deb, right? Yes. Okay, Tom and Deb. So fire away. See if you can stump the geniuses here.

I have a Honeymooners trivia question. Oh, you've come to the right place. All right. What was Alice Crandon's maiden name? I think it was Gibson or Gibbons. Alice Gibson. Yes, Gibson. Gibson.

Yeah. It's in the episode where Ralph makes the recording to apologize to her. Exactly. Yes. And Norton sends the wrong record. Care of Gibson. Care of Gibson. Right.

Can I ask the geniuses across from me? Care of Gibson. Care of Gibson. Right. Can I ask the geniuses across from me, who was Alice Cramden before? Was it Frances Langford? Pert Kelton. Pert Kelton.

Pert Kelton. Pert Kelton. Yep. And what was Trixie's occupation? Trixie had an occupation? Wow. Yeah, what did Trixie do before she got married? Wow. Wow. What did Trixie do before she got married? Wow. And then

Pert Kelton wound up appearing on the show as Alice's mother. That's correct. How do you want to be her agent explaining that to her? We give up, Tom. To go from the wife to the mother. I know.

What was Trixie's occupation? She was a burlesque dancer. No. Oh, no. Where did you find that out? Oh, yes. It's trivia. I've read it many a time.

She was a burlesque dancer. Wow. We'll take your word for it. Okay, we're going to look that up and double check it. How about one more? Okay, go ahead, fast. What movie did this line come from? Who did it?

Who did it? Oh, Mr. Roberts. Yes, sir. Captain, it is I, ends in pulver. Now, what's all this crap about no movies? Gilbert's on fire. Yeah. Nice one.

Thank you, Tom and Deb. Who was the... Who was the... Oh, sorry. Who was the... Yeah, it was James Cagney. Who was the most beautiful person in that movie to look at? Oh, Jack Lemmon?

He was damn... You know, in the right light. Yeah, he was a... William Palkaby. Betsy Palmer. Betsy Palmer. Very, very good. Tom and Deb, we love the questions.

Thank you so much. We appreciate it. You're giving Gilbert a chance to shine. Well done. Well done. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Baseball is finally back.

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Gambling problem? Call Conax Ontario at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share. To each other. I am future. I wait shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

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Who shall we... What am I trying to say? Who do we have the... Who shall we... What am I trying to say? Who do we have the pleasure of speaking to? Long-time listener, first-time caller, Lex Passeris. Lex! It's Lex from Hollywood, California. Now, Lex, you're retired from the business now, right? I am completely retired, but following up on the first thing I heard when I got in,

I once directed not only Hal Linden, but Hal Linden and Sid Melton in the same scene in The Golden Girls. Wow! Lex was a director of television shows. That's pretty amazing. With an impressive resume. Talking about Cesar Romero, what movie were Cesar Romero and Sid Melton in together? Oh, hang on, Lex.

We were talking about Cesar Romero earlier. Yep. We should give Lex a shot at that one. Lex, do you know? Wow. Selfie choice? I do not know that one. That would be an easy choice.

That would be a very easy choice. With six, you get citrus. And also Hugh Beaumont, Beaver's father. Now you're just showing off. Beaver's father. Wow. It was called The Lost Continent. Wow.

It was an early, Cesar Romero, they were going for some rocket that had landed on a plateau and there were very cheap stop animations. Very early Sid Melton work. Did we invite the right guy or what? Wow. Wow, yes. Hey, I got to ask you a question. What was it like to direct Sid Melton and Hal Linden? How old was Sid?

By that time, Sid had to be very old. Well, Sid had a recurring role on the show in flashbacks as Sophia's husband. But, this was the only time he played somebody else entirely. The guys had seen,

they'd originally written a thing where Hal came back as Dorothy's ex- prom date who stood her up. And he calls out of the blue, and they end up going out. And originally, it was supposed to be a karaoke night. And then, for some reason, Cheers had the same plot that week. So at the last minute, they changed it to a Medieval Times restaurant.

And Sid was the waiter. I'm so sorry I asked. Were you expecting Sid Melton trivia when you got here? Lex, how many episodes of Golden Girls did you direct? 21. Wow. Did you ever work with Herb Edelman and Leslie Nielsen? Oh, yeah.

I worked with Herbie. I directed Herbie. I directed Leslie. How about that? In the last two. Man. Wow. Steve Landisberg. Oh. Steve Landisberg.

Oh, Steve Landisberg. From how? From Barney Miller. There's a name. Back to Barney Miller. Yeah. All right, Lex, did you actually prepare a question for us, my friend? I did, but wait a minute.

Before I get to that, you're not going to believe this. Go ahead. There's an apparition coming into the room. Hey, where is he? Where is that guy? Where's that cocksucker? What's his name? Gilbert Goofy?

Gilbert! Gilbert! You keep saying I don't get the good pussy. Oh, he's doing it and Irving Dillish has some pressure for him. Ah, yes.

I want to tell you, Gilbert. Tom Selleck, he just got my rejects. I got all the good pussy. It was not him. So you, listen, you quit saying these things about me. I have all the other demons from the afterlife

come hunt you. All of them. Well, except for Lon Chaney Jr. He's too busy getting drunk with Lance Branch and John Houston. Not bad, Lex. That's more lines than I've ever had in an episode. What's the trivia question, pal? Alright, Listen. Not bad, Lex. That's more lines than I've ever had in an episode. It's not bad.

What's the trivia question, pal? All right. So, Gilbert, you know all the lyrics to the theme from Lords of Flatbush. Yes. Do you know the lyrics to the jingle for the commercial? Lord, no. Now obscure Alright Fire away

I will try to sing it for you But I guarantee I'll be worse than you Okay Are you ready? Go quick Yes Do do do do do The Lords of Flatbush

Is a movie Do do do do About how life was in the 50s. I don't mean to boast, but you'll dig it the most. The Lords of Flatbush, Flatbush, Flatbush. Rated PG. Can I tell you how I think you're right? Because that used to run

in the days when you would check into a hotel and they would show trailers for the pay-per-view movies. And you would see the same trailers if you left the TV on. And that I heard a million times. Who was that? That was Henry Winkler, that was Sylvester Stallone,

that was Perry King. And Susie Blakely? And originally, they had Richard Gere in it. Really? And he didn't get along with Stallone, I heard. Really? And so he either left or they got rid of him or something. Lex, fantastic trivia.

Very detailed. We appreciated the Irv A. impression. That was an extra bonus. Thank you, my friend. Herb Edelman had a TV series with Bob Denver. The Good Guys. All right, there you go. Oh, The Good Guys.

With our previous podcast guest, Joyce Van Patten. Wow, that's great. Yes, very good. Thank you, Lex. We'll talk, buddy. Thanks, guys. Bye. Talk soon.

It gets more and more obscure. Yes. Okay. I could have maybe gotten sung the actual You Are a Lord, but to know the TV trailer for it. He sings the theme from the movie. Hey, hey, what do you say? Looks like it's gonna be a very fine day.

My girl is with me today. Looks like some real fine things are coming my way. Hey, hey, what do you say? Looks like it's gonna be a very fine day. Just hanging out with nothing to do. All right, we're going to another caller.

Okay, hi. Who's next? We're going to go to Miami. Miami. Gary, you would have gotten that one. Who's on the line, please? Hey, boys. Hi, Frank.

Hi, Gilbert. Can I take my phone off mute now that he's been singing? Is he finished singing? Yes, he's finished singing. You can take your phone off mute now that he's been singing? Is he finished singing? Yes, he's finished singing. You can take your phone off mute. I wonder, wonder, wonder, will I make you mine? Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow.

Who are we talking to? This is Larry calling from the Berkshires. Not from Miami at the moment. Oh, not in Miami. You're a person after Dara's heart. And Gilbert, and I have a person after Dara's heart. And Gilbert, and I have a quick one for you. Go. In the third edition, in the third edition

of the Alien franchise with Sigourney Weaver, where she has the big fight with the mother alien. Right. What does she call her in the big fight? Bitch. Yeah, that's what

I thought, too. Is that it? I'll tell you if you don't know. This is the first thing that could come to my mind on such a quick note. It was, get away from her, you bitch. There you go.

That was it. You said the word bitch? There you go. Well, we got it. So that was it. There you go. You said the word bitch? We got it. Yes. Both of us said the word bitch. Rupert and Gilbert were right on that. They screened the phone calls

in the Berkshires. You can't get that word through. I didn't hear that. Get away from her, you bitch. Yes, indeed. It was just a tough moment. Very good question.

And what ever happened to Michael Biehn? Speaking of Alien or Aliens, the second movie. I don't know. The guy from The Terminator. Mr. Biehn? No, not Mr. Biehn.

Good question. Thank you. Thank you so much for the call. Love the show. Love the show. Bye, guys. Thank you, man. Who is next on the line, Mr. Frankie?

A lot of swearing there. We're going to go all the way to New York City. You ready for this one? Yeah, a lot of calls from New York. A lot of locals. They love us here. Who's up? You are on.

Hello, did I reach the Hal Linden Mystery Hour? Yes, yes, you did. Is this Hal's manager? Hey, this is Dave Milstein calling from Woodside, Queens. The great Dave Milstein, who has appeared on this very podcast. Thank you, buddy. Thanks for calling in. What do you got for us?

Say hi to the wonderful Rupert Holmes. Mr. Holmes, very nice to talk to you. Very nice to meet you. I'm a big fan of No Small Affair. Say again about No Small Affair. What did you say? He's a big fan. Oh, well.

There's a whole part of my skull where there's no hair from that film. It's just... That movie was supposed to be Matthew Broderick. Let me tell you the story on that.

It was going to... Now, listen. It was supposed to be Matt Broderick and Sally Fields. Right. And a different director. No.

Yes. Martin with Mark. Yes. He had a hard... Martin R director. No. Yes. Martin Ritt. It was supposed to be Matthew Broderick and Sally Fields and it was a coming of age story. She was going to initiate young Matt Broderick. So then the director had a heart attack. I think you read the script.

And they recast it. And in Matt Broderick's role, they did some logical casting because they gave it to John Cryer who And in Matt Broderick's role, they did some logical casting because they gave it to John Cryer, who had replaced Matt Broderick on Broadway. Yes. In, I guess, Brighton Beach memoirs,

it would have been. And to replace Sally Fields in this, they put in Demi Moore, who was like one year older than Matt. So it was like a crazy April-May romance. And Jerry Schatzberg directed it. Yeah, he was.

You did the score. I did the score and I did five songs in it. And Demi was supposed to sing all her own songs. Wow. And they came to me and said,

we promised her she's singing her own songs. I said, can she sing? And they said, she says she can. I said, have you heard the pitch of her voice? I said, she's sing? And they said, she says she can. I said, have you heard the

pitch of her voice? I said, she's lower than Bluto. And so they said, well, what we're going to do is, this is a terrible story to tell you. They said, what we're going to do is you record her singing these songs of yours and we're going to shoot her and she'll lip sync to her own voice. And then if it's not great, we'll replace the voice. So the first day of recording, they said, well, how is she? Is she okay? I said, we bid goodbye to okay about five minutes. And it was very difficult. Hey, what was the name of that movie?

Hang on, Dave. movie. Hang on, Dave. With Joe, where it was also like old lady with the young guy affair with John Travolta and Lily Tomlin. Moment to moment. A lot of eye to eye

contact. A big bomb. That was one of the movies that killed Travolta's movie career the first time. Dave, what do you got for us, pal? Alright, so my question is, it's a Humphrey Bogart question. Oh, good. Humphrey Bogart trivia.

All right, so he played a man with the last name Martin in three films. Do you know what they are? Well, isn't his last... Okay, Rick... No, Rick Blaine is... His last name is Rick Blaine.

Martin in three films. Is Key Largo one of them? No. Okay. Is it that one where he gets the plastic surgery, wherever that one, whatever that one was called? What is that called? It ends with a paratrooper, with a parachute shot. It's with, oh, damn.

Wow. Is it the one with Gloria Graham? Oh, in A Lonely Place? Lonely Place. Yeah. I feel like that might have been, no, not that.

Is it, The Heart of a Fall? If it helps, they're all between 1937 and 1939. Oh. Geez. The amazing Dr. Clitterhouse, just because I want to say that.

You just want to say it. The Return of Dr. X, because I want to say that. Oh, yeah. Is that possible? Either one? He played the monster in that. Yeah, he had white makeup on. Yeah, and a white streak in his hair.

He looked like Elsa Lancaster. How about Dead End? Yes, that's the first one, actually. Oh, okay. He played Hugh Babyface Martin in Dead End. I got one. What are the years? What's the first one, actually. Oh, okay. He played Hugh, Babyface, Martin, and Dead End. I got one. What are the years? What's the...

37 to 39. 37 to 39. Yeah. The Warner Brothers only had to make 17 films. When did he make Across the Pacific? Oh, no, that's right after. That's after Maltese Falcon. Yeah, after Maltese Falcon.

Almost the same cast. I'm way off. Was he... Petrified Forests. What about the Western he did? I'm way off. Petrified Forest. What about the Western he did? Oh, with Cagney? Was it Oklahoma Kid?

Yeah. Yeah, Oklahoma Kid. Is it possible it's that? It's not that. They're all basically crime movies. Oh, yeah. Those budgets. Okay, I give up.

Not High Sierra. That was later, too. No. We give up. Dead High Sierra, that was later too. No. We give up. Dead Reckoning, by the way. In 38, he did Racket Busters. Racket Busters. He was Star Martin. Wow.

And then in 39, in Invisible Stripes, he was Chuck Martin. Invisible Stripes. Oh my God. And the third one was Dead End. With Sylvia Sidney, right? Exactly. Clifford Odets. Clifford Odets. By the way, that was the origin of the Dead Endney, right? Yeah, exactly. Clifford Odets. Clifford Odets.

By the way, that was the origin of the Dead End Kids, right? Yes, indeed, it was. Yes, yes. I think Sidney Lumet is in that one as a boy, isn't he? Yeah, I think you see his face, a building is burning. Yeah, very young Sidney Lumet. The beautiful thing is that that was supposed to be a searing, and it was, a searing social drama by Clifford Odets about the ghetto, the life in the slums,

and the dead-end kids appeared in that. And the outcome of it was it was great to be a dead-end kid, and they made lots of comedies after that. And I love the dead-end kids, much like Abbott and Costello in their series. The dead-end kids were these kids in a gang and they're like, you know, they're like

in their early 50s. That's all. Towards the very end. They have the alcoholic lines in their face. Wasn't Leo Gorcey's father in them as well? Yes, that was Bernard

Gorcey. He played like the luncheonette owner. Yes, that was Bernard Gorsi. Bernard Gorsi. He played like the luncheonette owner. Dave, this is more than you wanted to know. I'm sorry, sorry. Louis Dombrowski? Yeah. Oh, did you see boys in my soda shop?

There are two movies, there are two Bogart movies where he plays someone named Rick and he has a sidekick named Sam. You'll get this one. I know one of them. Bernard Gorce, his father was a Jew. Dave, did you know that? Do you know that? Two movies where he played... I knew Lauren Bacall was a Jew.

Yes, Gilbert's proud of that. I'm trying to corner you here on this one. Go ahead, quick. Gilbert's proud of that. I'm trying to corner you here on this one. Go ahead, quick. So Humphrey Bogart played a character named Rick, and he had a person assisting him named Sam, named both movies.

You're making that shit up. I'm not. Well, one is obviously Casablanca. So this is a real question? Yeah, yeah. Casablanca, you've already named the movie. I did? Yes.

Across the Pacific. Yes, there's a Chinese fellow who says, oh, much trouble. Always much trouble, Rick. Look at this. And his name is Sam. Nice. Oh. The great Rupert Holmes, ladies and gentlemen.

Very good. See, how about that? From No Small Affair to Across the Pacific without taking a breath. I would have liked to have been Across the Pacific when we were making No Small Affair. Dave, you're the best. We appreciate this. Any time. to have been across the Pacific and we were making no small affair. Dave, you're the best. We appreciate this. Anytime. And if I could bring it

full circle, isn't there a Rupert and Humphrey Bogart connection? Yes, but you're... That was a Paul Williams song. The Rupert... Okay, collection. There's a lot of...

Connection. There's a lot of connections, but the one I think you're... One day we'll find it. Hang on. The Rupert Holmes connection. It's descended into chaos. What is the connection?

The connection was a decision I made in 10 seconds that changed the course of my life, which is as I was about to sing a song called Escape, which was not called the Pina Colada song, as I was about to sing it and sing the chorus of If You Like Humphrey Bogart and Getting Caught in the Rain, which is what I wrote at the last minute, ten seconds before I sang the vocal,

which is the vocal you hear on the record, first vocal. I changed it from Humphrey Bogart to Pina Colada. I assume that's what you meant. Exactly. Yes, it was. That is a life-changing event. Yeah. Dave, you know your shit. We're impressed.

Thanks for the call, pal. I try. Come back and do another mini with your buddy Seidel. Would love to. Okay, we'll do it. Thank you. Oh, that was fun. Seidel's sitting right here.

He said no. I don't know if that's... We went down 12 rabbit holes there during one call. Who's up next? We're trying to get as many people in as we can. Everyone dropped. They were like, I don't want to...'s... We went down 12 rabbit holes there during one call. Who's up next? We're trying to get as many people in as we can. Everyone dropped. They were like, I don't want to... They quit?

They gave up? No, no. We're going to go all the way to 217, Darrow. 217, Darrow? That's in Illinois. Illinois. Illinois. Is Darrow right?

Illinois, you are on, I think. There you go. Hello? Hello, how are you? Are we talking to Illinois? This is Don Gerrard in Champaign, Illinois. How about that, Dara? Don, how are you?

The Honorable Don Gerrard. Exactly right. Thank you very much. I appreciate you knowing your decorum. Don, thanks for calling in. Say hi to the great Rupert. You know, Rupert was the first guest I heard on this show, and it was my test my litmus test

well I said if they can make the Pino Calata song or I was actually thinking the Humphrey Bogart song interesting then I'm going to stick with it and it was just fascinating I love the episode and now I've listened to every single one and I'm up to date now that's right we all I'm basically here to do that for the guys you know they were actually just playing they were actually just listening to it themselves alone at home and they said you know let's bring in Rupert and get in Champaign Illinois did the guy downstairs tell you that he was a big fan

when you checked in I thought maybe you told him to say that no I said I just told him who was coming he loved the song all on his own what do you got for us Don well I have one actually I'm going to lob it up just for Rupert told him who was coming. He loved the song all on his own. What do you got for us, Don? Well, I have one actually. I'm going to lob it up just for Rupert.

I know Gilbert hasn't heard this song, and I'd be surprised if Frank knew. But I think Gilbert's going to get this one. I don't know. Go ahead. Eric Stumpy Joe Childs, the second Spinal Tap drummer, died by choking on vomit, and he was replaced by Peter James Bond, who famously spontaneously combusted while playing at the Isle of Lucy Blues Jazz, alternately Jazz Blues Festival.

Jazz Fusion, yes. Jazz Fusion. Which one was Ed Begley Jr. playing? He was the first one. He was the first drummer. He was the one who did the Flower playing? He was the first one. He was the first drummer. He was the one who did The Flower People, right? Correct, correct. Who was the real-life drummer who portrayed Peter James Bond?

Boy, I really, I'm going to, was it possibly Rick Murata? It was not. Can you give me the first name? No, it was Ricky Fattar. I remember Rick Murata. Rick Murata, and he was the drummer in No Small Affair. Yes, I remember his work. Can you give me the first, can you give me the hint?

Yeah, give me a hint, and if it's Ringo I can get it Was it Keith Moon? What kind of hints do you want? You want initials? You want No no initials No I don't read Give him an initial

First initial R-K R-K Is his last name O? No, I'm sorry. RK? No. Okay, I don't know.

You got me. Wait, we're stumped. Gilbert's never seen the movie. I have met this gentleman a number of times, and I'm reasonably good friends with his summertime employer, Lyle Lovett. It is Russ Kunkel. Russ, the great Russ Kunkel. Russ, the great Russ Kunkel. Where did I not get that?

Russ Kunkel playing on those Linda Ronstadt and James Taylor records. James Taylor. Yeah, of course. Every record of the 70s. Every one. But he was so... Warren Zevon.

I was a New York person in that period, and I worked with all the studio musicians, but rarely did I get to work with... I think Russ was pretty much L.A., wasn't he? Yeah, West Coast. Yeah. And the only time I worked with all the studio musicians, but rarely did I get to work with, I think Russ was pretty much L.A., wasn't he? Yeah, West Coast. Yeah. And the only time I worked, when I worked on the Streisand, when I did the Streisand album, Lazy Afternoon, I started working with the L.A. drummers there, how Blaine had moved out there.

He was on everything. Yeah, we tried to get him here. He's a brilliant musician. Terrific. Love Russ Kunkel. On those Ronstadt albums, right? Russ Kunkel? Yeah those Ronstadt albums, right? Russ Kunkel? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. David Linley's on those albums. Waddy Wattel. And brilliantly produced by Andrew Gold. Yes. Andrew Gold, whose father wrote the theme from Exodus. Exodus. And whose mother is Marty Nixon, who did the voice of.

You know it, buddy. Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. There you go. I sure appreciate the opportunity to stump you guys. I thought you'd get that one. No, it's a wonderful question. It will finally motivate Gilbert to watch this is Spinal Tap.

Watch the damn movie, Gilbert. We've had three people on this show who are in that movie, and he still hasn't watched it. I refuse to. I know. My first to. I know. My first comedy thriller that we did at the Pasadena Playhouse that ended up going to Broadway had two-thirds of Spinal Tap, and it was Michael McKeon and Harry Shearer. Oh, boy. You cast well.

Yeah. Well, we cast on arrival. They said they'd do it, and I said, wow. Two comic geniuses. They are. Don, thank you so much for the call, pal. We'll see you on Facebook. All right. Take care, fellas.

Bye-bye. That was a good one. Fun trivia, since that was from Champaign, Illinois. Do you know the trivia here? If you're not from Champaign, Illinois, you can only call yourself Sparkling, Illinois. I don't know if you knew that. If you're not from Champaign, Illinois. Has it already gotten to that point in the evening?

And there's no alcohol here, which is... So we're going to take a trip all the way to area code 973. Darren, 973. That's my hometown. New Jersey. All right, here we go. Who's on the line, please?

You are on the air. Hey, guys. It's JP from Parsippany, New Jersey. Parsippany. Rupert, do you have any Parsippany trivia? I thought I did, but I don't. I have Piscataway trivia, but I do not have Parsippany. Rupert, do you have any Parsippany trivia? I thought I did, but I don't. I have Piscataway trivia, but I do not have Parsippany. How are you, JP? Welcome to the inaugural trivia night,

trivia call-in show. Do you have anything to stump these two gentlemen with me? Or me? Well, Frank, the first thing I've got right here next to me, I'm one of the rare people that actually owns a Papillon Zuzu autograph. Oh, my God. Do you know who Papillon Zuzu is? She's the... Miso Horney. Miso Horney.

She's the Asian actress in Full Metal Jacket. And I've been trying to get her on this podcast, and Frank keeps saying to me, so what, you're going to get her to say me so horny and that's going to be it for the hour? Where do you go with that? And I pretty much said, yeah, that's pretty much it.

JP, where did you get her autograph and how's her English? I actually, I never met her. I bought her autograph at the chiller convention. Okay, I see. So she's elusive as ever thrown in with a miyashi umechi and she can be purchased autograph exactly all right jp good stuff what do you got for us try to stump these boys here's what i got for you um so six actors

have been nominated for playing have been oscar nominated for playing the same character in more than one movie. Can you name that? God. Okay, well, one's easy, John Wayne. Six? Wait a minute. John Wayne played... Didn't he play Rooster Cogburn twice?

Is it... Wait a second. Let me clarify the question. Okay, yeah, sorry. Could you be more specific about the question? Different actors were nominated for playing the same part, like Abe Lincoln? No, I guess the question is more like the same actor played the same character in more than one movie. So if it's John Wayne, then Jeff Bridges was also a Ristico.

The same actor? Okay, so just so I'm clear. So Sean Connery playing James Bond is what you mean? Something similar to that. I'll give you one. Okay. So, for example, Sylvester Stallone was nominated twice for playing Rocky. Okay, so you want an actor that was nominated six times for playing the same role.

Oh, okay. Do I have it? Six actors were nominated twice for playing the same role. Oh, six actors. I'm blurring here. Okay, so was Rooster Cogburn a standalone character? I think he played, it was a true grit, and then what? And then Rooster Cogburn.

Is it John Wayne is one of them? John Wayne's one? John Wayne was not one of them. Not one. Okay, so we established that Stallone was one. Well, you need a series, but usually series movies don't get Oscar nominations. That's what I mean. That's what makes it a fun question.

You know, I mean, Warner Oland. Yeah. And the Oscar goes to Sidney Toler. Are these all males or actresses? And the Oscar goes to Sidney Toler. Are these all males or actresses? And the Oscar goes to Roland Winter. Say again, JP? Five males. We've got five males and we have one female.

Five males and one female, and they were nominated twice for playing the same part. And they were nominated both times or one time in that role? I am all fucking confused here. No, I know. I think it's just narrowing it down. It's like Stallone

was nominated twice for playing Rocky. It's an actor that was nominated for playing the same part more than once in separate movies. But we are not saying,

just so I'm clear, we're not saying that they won the Oscar each time they played the two times they played that role. Nominated. Oh, these are nominations.

Nominations. Oh, okay, sorry about that. That makes it harder. Okay, yes, it does. Can you give us an era? Are we talking about 60s, 70s, 50s? It spans the entire, I mean, going back. All of these people who were Oscar nominated,

they were Oscar nominated at least once in the role that we're trying to identify that they played more than once? Yes, more than once. Not just that they got one once in their career. No, they were nominated twice for the same part. Twice? Yeah.

Two Oscar nominations for the same role. Boy, this is a fascinating question. It's a fascinating question. I have no idea how to tell you. Which was how Pacino won. Oh, yeah, that's good. You're right there, Gilbert. Gilbert.

Son of a bitch. Okay, so then can we offer Robert Duvall as well? Robert Duvall. Not on the list. Okay. Fuck you, leave. Okay, Stallone, you gave us. We have Pacino.

Wow. This is so hard. People are screaming at their devices. Who repeats? Well, you know, Godfather, the rare film that had sequels that was a prestige film that would generate multiple nominations,

which rarely happens. Jaws 3, the apology. Not, sir, yeah, no, I'm not going to say Roy Scheider twice. How about Gene Hackman twice for playing Popeye Doyle? Nope, not on the list. Worth a shot. Oh, wow. Hmm.

In the interest of time, we're each going to take one guess and then we'll we'll we'll we'll cry uncle okay is there another one from the 70s that we didn't name i'm going to try to narrow you down to my favorite era uh no okay Uh, no. Okay. Ziegfeld. William Powell. William Powell? Not on the list, sorry.

That should be. How many times did Spencer Tracy play Father Flanagan? I'd try that. Spencer Tracy was a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination every year. Sorry, Frank, not on the list either. Want me to go through the answers? We're taking... I guess we'll have to turn that card over. We'll have to turn all the cards over.

Let's start with the A's and then work our way through. Okay, what do we got? All right, so we got Bing Crosby for Father O'Malley. Oh, yeah. Bing Crosby, Going My Way, and The Bells of St. Mary's. Okay, good. Peter O'Toole for King Henry II. He was nominated in Lion and Winter.

What's the second one? The second one, I didn't realize I had to do that much research. What are you, Paul Rayburn? It was called Lawrence of Winter. Who were the other actors? The other two actors were Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felsen. Paul Newman as Fast Eddie Felsen. Oh, I should have gotten that.

There you go. Okay, what else? And then the last one was more recent. It was Cate Blanchett playing Queen Elizabeth. She's playing Cate Blanchett. Very good. Excellent question. Really good question.

We'll let you hang on the Peter O'Toole. We'll let you slide by on that Peter O'Toole one. That feels a little shaky. But great question, JP. I appreciate it. Really good. My pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Thanks, man. Thank you so much. On the plus side, we found the new Paul. So that's fun. I love that. I didn't know I was going to have to do research. We're getting a lot of New York calls tonight. I love that.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. guest after this. is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered.

A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines?

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Here's another New Yorker. Okay, what do we got?

Who's on the line, please? You got me. Hi, my name's Emil. I'm a New Yorker, too. I'm we got? Who's on the line, please? You got me. Hi, my name's Emil. I'm a New Yorker, too. I'm from the Bronx. Emil! You guys are great. How's it going, guys?

Thank you for calling, man. You guys are too good, especially Rupert. They should rename the show Rupert. You know everything about trivia. As a matter of fact, my question was going to be Bogart's Dr. X question, but no, that wouldn't have worked. Okay. I have something else.

I got my B material. Okay. Say your name again. I didn't catch it. Emil. Emil. Okay, Emil. Let's hear the B material. Okay. B movies, right? And B materials, right? Yeah, these are B movie experts.

Okay. I recently heard your episode with Jeff Abrams and Bert Kern. Yes. About death and all that stuff. So I guess this question's about that. And it's a honeymoon question, too. I didn't know somebody else had a honeymoon question, but here it goes.

Where is the raccoon's burial grounds? In Bismarck, North Dakota. Oh, God. There you go. The material. Wow. That's a laugh for the likes of us, Emil. Yeah.

The hour wait and 150 times I tried to call this number. Oh, I'm sorry you called that many times. It was all worth it. I'm so sorry. You have a beautiful speaking voice on the phone. You do. If it makes you feel any better. Bless your heart.

Thank you for patiently waiting and calling that many times. We appreciate it. Not a problem. it makes you feel any better. Bless your heart. Thank you for patiently waiting and calling that many times. We appreciate it. Not a problem. A lot of fun, guys. Bye-bye. Take care. That was fun. See, Rupert, they're full of compliments for you. That's very nice. Yes. Gilbert and I said that. I think we all shouted that at the same time. Oh, yes.

Alright, who's the next victim, Frank? Darrah 610? Darrah 610? Oh, that's Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Philadelphia. All right. Let's see.

It's the Keystone State. Who are we talking to? Hello. Hello. Hey, it's Gene Beretta. Hi. Gene Beretta. Gene, identify yourself.

Gene is a... I'll do it for him. Gene is an award-winning children's book author and illustrator. He does wonderful work. He's a big fan. He's the gentleman who drew your Cesar Romero with the orange wedges. Oh, thank you. That's framed in your living room.

Thank you. And he's got a bird that stays on his shoulder the whole time. Yes. What part of Pennsylvania are you from, Gene? I'm right outside of Philadelphia in Bryn Mawr. Gene, plug your latest children's book as long as we got you. What are you, hitting on me or something? Go ahead, buddy.

My latest one, The Bat Can Bat, a book of homonyms. Terrific. How many books have you published? bat, a book of homonyms. Terrific. How many books have you published? Well, I've written 12 and illustrated about 30. You should see his work. He's very talented. Okay, you want to try to stump the boys? Yeah, this is pretty obscure. You've come to the right place. You have a backup one?

Yeah, I do. I have a backup one? Yeah, I do. I have a backup one. It could be a bonus if you like. Okay. Sissy Spacek met her husband. Jack Fisk. He claimed production design. Yep, Jack Fisk.

They met on Badlands in 1972. Hell of a movie. And then they also worked together. They worked together on Carrie in 1976. But between those two films... Raggedy Man. They worked... on Carrie in 1976, but between those two films... Raggedy Man. They worked... No.

Okay. They worked together on another film. Jack directed that one. Right, so between those two films, they worked together on a film on which Sissy was not an actress, but a set dresser. What was that film? Wow. Oh, my God. Between, what did you say?

Between which movies? Between Carrie and? Between Badlands. And Badlands. Terrific movie, Badlands. Yeah, oh yeah.

Yeah, Terrence Malick. Martin Sheen, right? Terrence Malick. She worked as a, as a production. You know,

I never leave a movie house without seeing who the set dresser was. I just want to say, people, I say sit down. We haven't got the set dresser credit yet I just want to say, people, I say sit down. We haven't got the set dresser credit yet.

You want to see a really good obscure movie that Sissy Spacek's in? Prime Cut with Gene Hackman directed by Michael Ritchie. Yeah,

but that's not the answer. Three Women's a good one too. Yes. I thought you were going for the one that Jack Fisk directed that she was in. So what is the answer, sir?

The answer is The Phantom of Paradise. The Phantom of Paradise. With our friend Paul Williams. Jessica Harper. Yes. What a guess she would make. Love is a hard love. I just saw it at a drive-in theater. Very good.

That was supposed to be called Phantom of the Fillmore, and they couldn't get the name. Really? Yeah, absolutely. That was the beginning of my recording career, and I got to go to an advanced screening of it. Met Paul Williams, who I later wrote a couple songs with. Yeah.

But that was supposed to be called Phantom of the Fillmore. Good stuff. Yeah, yeah. Winter comes and the nights go cold. Good stuff. You're lousy in bed. You're a bit hurt. Look what you've caused, Gino. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. We all came to say goodbye. I once turned to Paul and said, say, do you remember that great evening when we were at Patty Farrell's house?

He said, wait, was this the 70s? That's Paul. That's it. Gene, thanks so much. What was the backup? What was the backup question? All right, here it is. Speaking of musicians,

in the crowd scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian, there's a brief glimpse... George Harrison. There's a brief glimpse of a famous... Oh, you got it. Yeah, he also used to give the money to make those movies. You put up the money, you get to be in the crowd.

Yeah, you put up the money. Thank you, man. Okay, thank you. Check out Gene Beretta's books, everybody. Thank you, Gene. Thank you. Oh, that was fun. Alright, Frank, we're... Oh, okay, we got plenty of time left. Let's see how many we can get in. We're going to go all

the way back to New York area. A lot of New York. Or Brooklyn. Okay. 718, you're on. Yep, 718. We don't have to guess that one. Welcome to the trivia show. Who do we have? Oh, hello. I'm on. Hello. Hello. You're on. Who is this? This is

Ernest III from Staten Island, New York. We know you, Ernest III. Welcome to the show. How are you? I'm really honored that you know me. I'm doing okay. How are you guys? Say hi to the talented Rupert Holmes Hello Rupert This was a long part, have you noticed that every time you say Say hi to the great Rupert Holmes

There's like an 8 second silence Although there is a big lag With the phone system When they say Say hello to Rupert Holmes And they all go Is that one of the trivia questions? That's me pounding the table.

Mr. Holmes, but I'm not a fan of pina coladas. I had never drunk one when I wrote this song. And she's not even a drinker. What's your question, Ernest? What's your question, Ernest? Well, first of all, I think Gilbert Gottfried was robbed that he wasn't nominated for Problem Child 1 and 2. Yes. Thank you.

Clearly. Clearly. The bias against the comedies continues in the Academy. What's the trivia question, pal? That's true. That's true. Well, it has to do with the TV show I Love Lucy and character actors. You've come to the right place. That's Mr. Holmes' sweet spot. Well, it has to do with the TV show I Love Lucy and character actors.

You've come to the right place. That's Mr. Holmes' sweet spot. You'd think it is, but... Now, are you familiar with the fact that she's a Romero? All right. Fuck Deji Arnaz. And Danny Thomas has me for glass coffee table. Yes, yes. Okay, what's the Lucy question?

We're running short on time. All right, well, there was an episode, one of the Hollywood episodes called Don Juan is Shelved. Sure, where he was working for Dory Sherry. Right, yeah,

but the question is, you know, people think that Dory Sherry, the real Dory Sherry, was in that episode, but he wasn't. What character actor played him instead?

Oh, God. I can picture his face and I don't know his name. I know, and I'm right with you. I have some clues if you want some clues. Clues are good. Ricky goes to L.A. to play Don Juan. This is the Richard Widmark era. Oh, Richard Widmark. Bill Holden in the Brown Derby.

Richard Widmark. Okay, give us some clues. Alright, well, besides that, there's also, for bonus points, there is another connection that this character actor has to the show, which I'll get to. But the clues are he was in North by Northwest. Okay. He was in The Mating Game. Hold on.

Was it Leo G. Carroll? No. No. No, was it? No, it wasn't Leo G. Carroll. No, hold on. And he was in a Twilight Zone episode. He was in a Twilight Zone episode called Spur of the Moment from 1964.

Ooh, this is very good. And he was in three big movies. He was in three big movies with Burt Lancaster, Comeback Little Sheba, From Here to Eternity, and Elmer Gantry. I know his face, and I couldn't place his name for the life of me. Phillip Ober? Phillip Ober? Right. That's it.

Oh, my God! Hey! Mr. Holmes, Mr. Godfrey, Mr. Santopadre, what other connection does Phillip Ober have to this show? To which show? Phillip Ober had another connection to

I Love Lucy, you're saying? Yeah. He fucked Nancy Arnett. Okay, you're saying? Yeah. And it's a big one, too. He fucked Desi Armitage. Okay, Philip Ober. Philip Ober. Close, close. He was married to Mary Jane Croft. Philip Ober is the guy.

No, he was married at the time to the late great Vivian Vance at the Mertz herself. Oh, wow. Very good. That's a great question. That's good. Excellent.

If you couldn't get The Chief, oh, he was in that movie, too. Who played the chief on Blank momentarily? On what? On Get Smart. Ed Platt. Ed Platt. Ed Platt and Philip Ober were both in North by Northwest. You're right.

Wow. If you couldn't get Ed Platt, you got Philip Ober. Yes. Very good. Very good. That's a great question. Ernest, terrific question. Thank you, man.

Good stuff. I am honored. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks for the call. It's our honor. Very good. That's a great question. Ernest, terrific question. Thank you, man. Good stuff. I am honored. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks for the call. It's our honor. Thank you. All right. Philip Ober questions.

Philip Ober. Did you expect Philip Ober and Russ Kunkel tonight? Russ Kunkel. I'm ashamed about Russ Kunkel. I'm ashamed about Russ Kunkel. I should have known that. We'll have to invite Russ Kunkel on and apologize to him. I didn't recognize him in Spinal Tap, and I'm a drummer.

Okay. I didn't even know that was him. I didn't recognize him in Spinal Tap, and I'm a drummer. Okay. I didn't even know that was him. I knew Ed Begley Jr. was the drummer. Yeah, he was in the give me some money with the flower people. Okay, what do we got? Area code 260. Dara? 260.

I don't know that one. I'm going to go with Champaign, Illinois. No, it's not. Where's 260? Who are we talking to? Hello? Yep. Rob Martinez speaking to you from Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Rob Martinez, who sends all the wonderful gifts. And the Christmas CDs. Thank you for all the swag you've sent, Rob. Thank you, I appreciate it. Good evening, Rupert. It's an honor talking to the person who had the last number one hit in the 1970s. I was all part of a plan. That's good trivia in itself. All part of a plan. Rob, good stuff.

What do you got for us? Try to stump these boys. I have two questions, one for Gilbert and one for Rupert. Okay. I will start with Rupert. Can I have Gilbert's? Go quick. In 1941, Lon Chaney Jr.

alright go quick ok Rupert who is the oldest living composer to have a hit in the billboard top 5 the oldest living composer to have a billboard hit the billboard top 5 since it started

yes Leroy Anderson no What stretch are the Billboard top five since it started? Yes. Leroy Anderson. No. Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, wait. Hold on. Are we?

Okay. So how about Hooked on Classics and the oldest of those? Is this a classical composer who had a... Oh, Clemente. Clemente's 35th Sonatina was turned into Groovy Kind of Love by the... Mindbenders. Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. Is that what you think? Clemente's 35th Sonatina was turned into groovy kind of love by the... Mindbenders. Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. Is that what you think? Clementi's 35th Sonatina. He would be pretty old. He goes back farther than Beethoven. Is that right? No. No. Well, would you accept that it's a really good answer?

Is it Ed Norton? No. Okay, can you give me a hint? Just a quick hint. Dara thinks she knows Is it Billy Ray Cyrus? Billy Ray Cyrus? Oh no, a composer Sorry, we didn't hear what you were saying

It was a one hit wonder in 1983 And the video was pulled Billy Bob Thornton Let him finish the question Go ahead The video was pulled thanks to background actors in Blackface. Was it

was it putting on the Ritz or tacos putting on the Ritz? Absolutely correct. Oh, gee. Yeah. So the answer is Irving Berlin. He was 95 years old in 1983. But it's a trick question.

I mean, yeah. But I guess top five. But a song made the Billboard charts and he was still living. And he was still alive. Okay, what's the question for Gilbert? Pretty good. Lived to be 100. Gilbert?

Yes. On the recent podcast about celebrities and musicians who died on stage, the name of Joey Ross was mentioned. He died of a heart attack in 1982 while performing in the clubhouse of his apartment building in Los Angeles. Who delivered his eulogy? Who delivered Joey Ross' eulogy? Ritzig? Russ Kunkel? Wait, wait, wait.

Joey Ross, for a while, teamed up with... Fred Gwynn? No, wait, wait. Joey Ross for a while teamed up with... Fred Gwynn. No, no, no. No, he did. Towards the end of his career, he was a comedy team with Steve Rossi. Joey Ross and Steve Rossi? Yes, I think so.

Can I ask you, was it a comedy partner of his? Was it someone... No. No, it was not. Not a comedy partner of his? Was it someone? No. No, it was not. Not a comedy partner doing the eulogy. It wasn't Nat Hyken who pre-deceased him. Oh, Nat Hyken hated him. He hated him.

He hated him. Yeah. I know Steve Rossi. Go ahead. The first hint is he is a contemporary of Gilbert. Jeez. A contemporary of Gilbert. Georgie Jessel?

Yep. Do you mean a comic of Gilbert's era, like Gabe Kaplan? Yes. Yes. Up to that point, he was best known as a comedian on TV shows. Was it Richard Belzer? It wasn't Belzer. Close. The second hint, and this is going to give it away,

he had a very prominent mandible. Jay Leno. No, no, no, no. David Brenner. Jay Leno? Wait a minute. Jay Leno gave the eulogy at Joey Ross' funeral? That's correct.

I would like to hear Gilbert. Where did you come up with? He was on Confetti Floor. He was on Confetti Floor. I mean, everybody wants it. I read somewhere that Joey Ross was an actor. I read that somewhere that he was an actor. And, you know, he was an actor and you know

he was a caveman he was a caveman it's about time because I read somewhere that they used to have cavemen where did you come up with this Rob? Imogene Kogan, Joey Ross Sherwood Schwartz, Frank Alletter

it is verified it is verified on Wikipedia. Well, it must be true if it's on Wikipedia. We're going to call Jay and verify this one. Great question, man. Thank you so much for calling. That's fascinating. Thanks for having me on.

Have a great night. You stumped them both. Thank you, Rob. Wow. We did it. Wow. What would have prompted that?

I have no idea. Joey Ross was loathed by a lot of people. Everyone hated him. Really? Seriously? Yeah.

Jay was making movies back then. He was in that The Silver Bears. Oh, and what was that? Oh, yeah.

It was one of his way down on the totem pole. Yeah, he was making movies. Cop movies. Collision Course

with Pat Morita. Yeah. Oh, geez. Yes. See, nobody asked me this shit. I know. No, you know what? I'm thinking Jay Leno now, but Joey Ross passed away quite a...

82. Yeah. Right? 82, 83? Nat Hyken was a very good guess. Yes. But he hated his guts. But he didn't like it.

He hated it. Okay, Frank, what do we have next? This one just says, inmate from Litchfield Correctional Facility. Let's have a listen and see. Welcome back, listener. Who's on the line, please? It's Liz. Our first lady calling in.

I was going to say we're going to get through this whole show without a single woman calling the show. Hi, Liz. How are you? Hi. I'm fabulous. Say hello to the show. Hi, Liz. How are you? Hi. I'm fabulous. Say hello to the wonderful Rupert Holmes. We will now observe a moment of silence. Hi, Rupert Holmes. You don't have to say anything

to Gilbert. We understand. What's your question? All right. Who played the voice of the car in My Mother's Car? I got it. Anne Southern. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Yeah, I'm sorry. And who was the guy? Who was the guy? Jerry Van Dyke. Jerry Van Dyke. Yeah.

Right. And who was Anne Southern married to? Oh, God. The actress Tisha Sterling was the daughter of Ann Southern and who? That was her daughter. It's not Robert Sterling. Robert Sterling. That's how our day began.

Robert Sterling. Full circle. He wasn't married to Ann Jeffries? Ann Southern. Ann Southern. Yeah. Okay, so what was his relationship with Ann Jeffries? Were they just...

I think I have this right. We don't have... Paul's not here. We don't have anybody to Google it. Like that matters. Well, Tisha Sterling. Where would the Sterling come from otherwise? Tisha Sterling, I believe, was the daughter of Ann Southern.

And what kind of car was the car in My Mother the Car? I don't know. It was an old one. You're too good. Oh, my Lord. Do you remember who she worked for when she was in My Private Secretary? Private Secretary. She married him.

She married him in the series, right? On the last episode. I can't remember who it was. Do you know what her boss's name was? Peter Sands. Peter Sands. This is good stuff. By the way, the car

was a porter. And my mother the car. Peter Sands. This is good stuff. By the way, the car was a porter. It was a porter. And my mother the car. Wow. Yes, it's in the theme song. It is. Liz, good stuff. We appreciate this.

Anytime. Tell Dara I say hi. She's right here waving. Dara says hi back. Hey, Dara. Rupert had that one, too. She's waving to the microphone. I rudely cut him off.

No, it's okay. It was an easy one. Yeah. It was an easy one. Thank you so much, Liz. Anne Southern made a whole string of movies. Bye, guys. Was it Torchy?

Did she play a character? Torchy, I think. Torchy. Yeah. Really good stuff. Okay, Frank, who else is on the line? Darren 906, what do you think? 906.

Thank God a woman called. I'd class this up. 906 is from the one. 906? The only. 906 is in Upper Michigan. Rupert has some Upper Michigan trivia. He's got some stuff on Battle Creek that'll rock your world.

Who are we talking to? My name is Ryan. Hi, Ryan. Welcome to the show. Thanks for calling. Say hi to Gilbert and Rupert. Hi there, Ryan. Hi, Gilbert. Hi, Rupert. What do you got. Hi, Ryan. Welcome to the show. Thanks for calling. Say hi to Gilbert and Roop. Hi there, Ryan. Hi, Gilbert.

Hi, Roop. Hi. What do you got for us, Ryan? Try to stump us. It hasn't been hard tonight. Okay, this is about one of my favorite character actors. Oh, we love character actors. He was in four episodes of The Twilight Zone.

He was also in the movie Psycho. And he was on the show MacGyver. Not Martin Bolson. What? No. Not Martin Bolson. Okay, four times on Twilight Zone, but also in Psycho. Oh, John Anderson?

John Anderson. Yes, yes. Look at this guy. Wow. Good. Yes, John Anderson, he's the guy who sells her the car. I'm not going to... That's very good.

And he is also the pilot. California Charlie. Yeah, and he is also the pilot on Twilight Zone where he keeps trying to land and they go back in time. They look down and they see the world. Yeah, that one. That's John Anderson. Do you know the other Twilight Zones? I mean, he was in them a lot.

He usually played a lot of Western characters. Passage for Trumpet. He's in Passage for Trumpet with Klugman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. Yeah. I'm really pleased. Brian, terrific question.

John Anderson. I got one more. Go quick. Okay. What Mary Tyler Moore show actor was in a Twilight Zone episode with Jack Gordon? Ted Knight. Yes, yes.

And also in Psycho. That was the one where he's on, he has a mechanical woman with Jack Warden. Yeah, yeah. He has a mechanical woman who keeps him company, and he starts to believe she's alive. Yeah, yeah. I wish, I'd like to have that robot. Oh, yes! I was watching... Last night I watched a couple of episodes that could not even begin to air today of My Living Doll with Bob Cummings and Julie Newmar.

And I'm telling you, by the 73rd frame of that episode... It made My Dream of Jeannie look like a show from the Me Too era. Right, I know. My Bob Cummings. Bob Cummings, yeah. I got stories about Bob Cummings that I found in my research. He fucked Desi Arnaz. No, stop.

Stop that. Stop that. Do you know Bob Cummings came over to this country pretending to be a British actor? I've heard that story. I have a great autograph from him. Good stuff. Ryan, good questions. Thank you so much for calling.

And the autograph says, from Bob Cummings and Pappy on Tunes. Bob Cummings was in an early Charlie Chan movie. Very good. Thank you, man. He was. Charlie Chan in London has, I think, Bob Cummings. Let's see if we can squeeze three more, Frank, in the last ten minutes. We're going to go all the way to 212.

A lot of 212. What up, 212? Very nice thing. Who are we speaking to? Gary. Hi, Gary. Say hi to Gilbert and Rup. Hello. Hi, Gilbert. Hi, Mr. Holmes. Hi.

And that's correct. You call him Gilbert, you call me Mr. Holmes. Oh, Gary, what do you got for us? Can you stump the brain trust, the unstumpables? I got a movie question. What was the name of the character played

by Bela Lugosi in The Island of Lost Souls? Gilbert? Oh, was it Doctor... Wait, Island of Lost Souls? He was the lawman, I think. Oh, we're not talking about Island of Dr. Moreau. No, no.

Island of Lost Souls, yeah. Lugosi, is Lionel Atwell in that? Is Island of Lost Souls? No, that was Charles Lawton. Oh, Charles Lawton. The first Dr. Moreau. He was the keeper of the law. Yeah, Island of Lost Souls. Like the keeper of the law is all I remember.

You're close. It was the sayer of the law. The sayer of the law. Oh, okay. Very good. He was like a wolfman creature in a way. What is the law not to spill blood that is the law

are we not men what is the law not to run on all force that is the law are we not men does the the law. Are we not men? Does the Devo album Are We Not Men come from that? I'm sure of that.

Oh, and the best part is when the animals decide to turn on him. Right. And they go, he smacks the whip and he goes, what is the law? And Lugosi goes, what is the law? And he goes, law, no

more. That's a great film. Good film. Gary, great question. Thank you so much. Really terrifying. Thank you. Thanks for calling in, man. We appreciate it. Who's next, Frankie V?

We're going to go all the way to 720. 720, Dara. Dara says Colorado. Dara says Colorado. Are we right? Dara is absolutely correct. She's good. Well, she used to live in Pueblo.

She's pointing to herself. Oh, right on. No, she never did. How do you know that's Colorado? I went to University of Colorado. She went to University of Colorado. Where is that located? In Boulder. Boulder. Any Boulder trivia? went to University of Colorado. She went to University of Colorado. Where is that located? In Boulder.

Boulder. Any Boulder trivia? They're made of stone. There was a... Warren Zevon did an album called Stand in the Fire with a band called Boulder. That's all I got. I spoke at the Pikes Peak Writers Conference once,

but I can't really dredge up any... I thought you had trivia for every state reunion. I do, usually. Who are we speaking to, sir? Hey, this is Mike Kane. Mike Kane. Welcome to the show, Mike Kane. So your real name is Michael Kane?

Yeah, it actually is. Bet you didn't change it from Morris Mickelwhite. Mike, what do you got for us, pal? My real name is Alfie. What's that all about? Laird Krieger is Gilbert's real name. What do you got for us? Alright, I got a really

short personal story that I wanted to share with Gilbert for a couple of decades now. I'm just going to leave the room if you don't. If you can keep it to 30 seconds, because we're trying to squeeze callers in. All right, I'll try. So in 1989, I was a high school senior,

and me and this girl that I was dating at the time, we come home from whatever we were doing, and we're in her place, and we're watching USA Up All Night, which was a relatively new show. On a show? Yeah, we're hanging out, we're making out, and one thing leads to another. Uh-oh.

And I get my first blowjob, which I was really excited about. You know, I knew we were going here. All my attention, completely on it. You know, I knew we were going here. All my attention, completely on it. A little shortly afterwards... By the way, we blew the 30-second rule. You're way over, Mike.

Can you send this to us in a text? What's the payoff? The blowjob! I look up afterwards and I notice Gilbert is like sitting in front of a fireplace in a study wearing a smoking jacket. And he's talking up this movie called Return of the Killer Tomatoes. So you're saying to this day you can't get an erection unless you picture Gilbert in a smoking jacket. Is that the gist of this? Him and me both.

Real quick, what's the question? All right. In the movie Return of the Killer Tomatoes, which former podcast guest played the villainous Dr. Gangrene? Oh, God. Return of the Killer Tomatoes. I should know this. It's John Astin.

It is. Yeah, very good. Damn it. Tomatoes. I should know this. It's John Astin. It is. Yeah, very good. Damn it. Thank you. Very good. I'm good for something on occasion. That's great. Mike, thanks, and thanks for taking the show right into the gutter.

Yeah. You're welcome, Mike. We appreciate it. Don't worry, I'm getting it out, and I'm okay with that. Thank you. Bye-bye. Now I'll never get another erection. All right, who else can we squeeze in?

I think he was just calling a brag. I think so, too. I think so, too. Well, Gilbert has that effect on men. You're going to go to 310. 310. I know that one. Los Angeles.

Who are we speaking to? Hey, guys. Yes. Bruce Tenenbaum. Bruce Tenenbaum. Hello, Bruce. Yes. You're in the greater LAR area, are you not?

Greater, lesser, yeah. Pay your respects to the great Rupert Holmes and Gilbert Gottfried. Hello, gentlemen. Hello there. And your question is? I'm totally intimidated by your knowledge. I have some James Bond questions. James Bond questions.

Oh, good. Oh, you've come to the right place. Good, good. Fire away. Who was the first James Bond? Barry Nelson. Yes, you're right. I'm sorry.

Casino Royale. Casino Royale for television. On TV, the TV version. I thought I might get you with that. Wow, good job. Did you tell us your name, sir? No, no. Bruce Tannenbaum.

Bruce Tannenbaum. Sorry, I didn't write it down. Go ahead, Bruce. So since you guys know the first Bond, who was the first actor to play Ernst Dabrow Blofeld? Telly Savalas? No, no, no, no. Donald Pleasence.

Oh, that's right. No, it's the other guy. It's... Charles Gray. Charles Gray. No, but that's... No, Pleasence was first, and you only lived twice. He's right.

Donald Pleasence was first. Oh, wait, wait. Unless you're talking... Does he make an odd... Never... The first time you see his face is in You Only Live Twice, and he's played by Donald Pleasence was first. Oh, wait, wait. Unless you're talking, does he make an odd, never, the first time you see his face is in You Only Live Twice, and he's played by Donald Pleasence. Are you talking, was that the right answer?

Well, that's the first time you see him. It's not the right answer. So he's, but he's in Thunderball. Yeah, he's in a couple of other films, but you don't see him. Well, you see him. You see him stroking a cat. Yeah, that's right. Okay.

Iconic image. Is it a name we would know? I just always assumed it was an extra or something like that. No, he's an actor who's actually appeared in the first Bond film, and he's been in a lot of movies. I don't know if you know who he is, but yes, he's been around. Give us the initials. A.D.

Is it Albert something? Aldo? No. Is it an Italian actor? No, that's Thunderball. We give up. I don't know if he's Italian. His name is Anthony Dawson.

Anthony Dawson is the man who's murdered in Dial M for Murder. Yes. Very good. Okay. So really, Rupert is right. in Dial M for Murder. Yes. Very good. Yeah. Okay. Okay. By the way, I just... Okay, so you... So really, Rupert is right. Donald Pleasance is the first time you actually see his face.

It's the first time you see his face, correct. Yeah. Okay, so he got you on a technicality. Give me some credit on knowing Charles Gray. Give him some credit

on Charles Gray. Charles Gray, too. Okay, what's the other Bond questions? Okay, the other one is a little bit more convoluted. Let's see if you can get it. There's a Bond movie in which Bond discusses an assignment

that had previously happened to him, but we don't see that assignment until the next movie. It's kind of time travel. That's a very interesting... Involving time travel? Is this part of the real Bond franchise, the broccoli, cubby broccoli franchise, or is it one of the ones like, you know, they've been remaking

Thunderball. I know, never say never again. Never say it's Thunderball because the joints, the rights to it are co-owned. Is this part from the regular franchise? Yes, it's part of the regular franchise. Is it a Roger Moore thing? Pierce Brosnan thing. You want to just go down the actors? Nah,

just tell us the answer because we're stumped. In Doctor No. Yes. rosnan thing you want to just go down the actors nah just tell it just tell us the answer because we're stumped in doctor no yes and give bond a new gun because his gun jammed on a previous assignment that he talked about that assignment actually happened in from russia with love because the books are in different order than the film so we see that assignment in the next movie very good yeah yep very good and from russia with Love in the book, he dies. And then they have to find their way, how he recovered in the next film. He gets poisoned. Yeah, he gets poisoned from Rosa Klebb's boot. Very good. Absolutely correct.

I'll give you one more. Quick. Sure, quick. An easier one. You should know this. You actually touched on it. What's the only book that Ian Fleming based on somebody else's work? Gil? Thunderball. That's the only book that Ian Fleming based on somebody else's work? Gil?

Thunderball. That's right. Correct. Very good. I was thinking about what a boring book The Spy Who Loved Me was. I was thinking about this today because it was written from a woman's point of view. Yes. And it just seems so weird to be reading a James Bond book

with the girl, whoever would be the pussy galore in that particular thing, doing the narration. It just didn't gel. He was a strange guy. Good stuff. Ian Fleming. Good stuff. Bruce, thank you so much for the questions. We appreciate it. Thank you very much. Thank you, man. Thank you, guys. We're going to stop here.

We're going to thank all those callers for the main episode, and we're going to go to a Stitcher-only mini-episode for the remaining callers, because we're having too much fun. Yeah, so if you're on the line, hang tight. And Rupert wants to get his money's worth. We're going to switch over to a mini. Here we go. Gilbert, you want to wrap up the whole

episode? Go ahead, Gil, do a wrap. Oh, yeah, so this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsession. No, the other one. This is our amazing, colossal podcast.

Amazing, colossal podcast. And we've been doing this trivia show, and we've got so many people, more than we thought. We're pleasantly surprised. So we're going to stretch this out into our mini. We're going to milk it. We're going to milk it. I kind of wish we recorded this. It's so fun. And the one question. I'm booked

on the John Davidson show. I'm sorry. I got to go. He was just in that chair. The one question. Like eight weeks ago. That is the one that no one's been able to answer is, who is Ruben Holmes? Yeah. We'll get to that in the meeting. Right after the question, Gilbert, can you name your own show? All right, guys.

We'll see you next week, and we'll continue this on Stitcher. Lead me to the light Don't distract me from the sun I don't need anyone to amuse me Don't say what is right Your right might be wrong for me Just stand clear, let me see, don't confuse me With no small affair, and no empty love And no little talk about nothing much

With no small affair affair, no wasted dream No brief encounter where we don't touch Or meal or no dinner Don't have a prayer that never gave me no small affair Take me to the height Lift my vision to the skies, pull the night from my eyes, that I won't need. Lead me to the light, from the darkness to the day, just don't lead me astray. What I don't need is no small affair, no empty love, no little talk about nothing much,

no small affair, no wasted dream, no brief encounter while we don't touch For real, no deal, no howl, prayer, bread, mail, forgive me, no smoke Lead me to the light, don't distract me from the sun I don't need anyone to confuse me It's no small affair, no empty love No men who talk about nothing much No small affair, no wasted drink

No breathing counter where we don't touch No small affair, no breathing counter where we don't touch. No small affair, no wasted words, no foolish hope, it's a pointless dream. No small affair, no killing time, no cold emotion that's useless. No small affair, no empty love, no little talk about love. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Thank you.