Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 5. Marty Allen

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Throughout the late 1950's and 60's, the comedy duo of Allen & Rossi performed to sold-out Vegas crowds, recorded bestselling comedy albums and made hundreds of TV appearances (44 of them on "The Ed Sullivan Show" show). Sadly, Steve Rossi passed away recently but a few weeks back, we tracked down the other half of the legendary team, 92-year-old (and still performing!) Marty Allen, to talk about his 60+ years in the business, his brushes with Elvis and the Beatles and the origin of the duo's signature catch phrase, "Hello Dere!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. You know, years ago on TV, when I was a kid, I remember I would watch TV and they had this comedy team that would come on all the time named Alan and Rossi. And it was like, it was like Marty Allen. He was this crazy frizzy haired comic. And Rossi, Steve Rossi was kind of his Dean Martin, the handsome straight man who could sing. And but Marty was absolutely out of his mind and could always crack up an audience. He certainly always cracked me up

and he was wild looking and made the weirdest faces and did dances that you figure only a cartoon character could do. Now, Alan and Rossi have the rare privilege of being able to say they followed the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Ed Sullivan was already the biggest show on TV at the time, and the one that they had the Beatles on, forget it, that was beyond like everyone in the world was watching it. So they followed the Beatles. Since then, they split up and Marty Allen's been working with his wife. And we asked, they actually asked, the TV show actually asked Marty Allen to go on. And he's like, wow, I don't know. He's must, I don't know if he's 90 yet or damn close to 90 or maybe 100 for all I know. And he said, I can't go on there. I'm booked solid.

So now we talk to Marty Allen. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and you're listening to the amazing Colossal Podcast. I'm here with my friend and co-host, Frank Santopadre. Hello, Gilbert. Hi. Okay, that's it for today's show. Yes. That's a wrap. Oh, that was great, Yes. That's a wrap. Oh, that was great, Gilbert.

That's a wrap. You really touched me emotionally. Well, that's the only way I want to touch you, Marty. I hope so. Nice to meet you, Marty. Yeah, my pleasure. Now, today, you wanted... Well, I thought it was interesting timing that it's the 50th anniversary of the Beatles playing the Sullivan Show this month.

Oh, yeah. I've done so many interviews, I feel like I'm the fifth Beatle already. There are a lot of fifth Beatles, Marty. So tell us about playing with them, meeting with them, following them in 64. It was fantastic. First of all, it was at the David Letterman Theater where David Letterman is doing his show now. where David Lutterman is doing his show now. And Steve Rossi and I were in the limousine,

and there were thousands of little girls backstage waiting to catch a glimpse. And our limousine pulled up, and the kids were yelling, Wingo! George, John, Paul. And I kept yelling, Marty, Marty, Marty. And then they threw notes in our window, love notes and photos. And it was unbelievable. It really was unbelievable. It was unbelievable.

What? It really was unbelievable. And then we went in the theater, and it was like pandemonium. And I said to Steve, I got to come up with some kind of a line to get him right off the bat. When we do our afternoon show, the kids were screaming. And when they introduced us, I walked out and I said, Hello there, I'm Ringo's mother. And the kids yelled, It's his mother! And they started screaming.

And I jumped in the audience and I told Steve, Don't do a ballad, do an up-tempo song. So he did an up-tempo song. So he did an up-tempo song and I was dancing with the kids where they went out of their mind. And then we went back on the stage and did our act. And I knew right off the bat they were going to be a sensation. They were and not only that they were wonderful, they were kind, very courteous. They had no idea who I was and at that time I had that Zulu haircut and they kept looking at me and John was getting ready to go on in about 20 minutes. I walked over to him and I said, John, he said, yes.

I said, a lot of people mistake me for you. And he looked at me like, oh, my God. He went bananas. my God. He went bananas. And then I got a hold of a policeman's hat and a jacket off of one of the cops. And I stopped following Ringo everywhere he went. And he was going bananas. I said, I have to protect you. Then he went in the men's room and I stood guard. He says, well, you really are supposed to protect me? I said, yes. And he said to me,

make sure you wash your hands when we leave. And I remember the song that they, the first song they did was All My Loving. That's right. The week before they appeared on the Sullivan Show, the hot song was I Want to Hold Your Hand.

And I also know that for performing on the Sullivan Show for the three shows, they received $10,000. Wow. How about that? And they got one telegram. And do you know who it was from? Who? Elvis Presley. My dear friend Elvis Presley my dear friend

Elvis Presley sent him a congratulation a wire of congratulations and I thought that was class you followed the Beatles more than one time I heard oh yeah we did the other show in Miami also

and and I remember how much they got for a front row ticket to their first concert in America. Four dollars. Wow. How do you like that?

And one of the girls sold from Ringo, she pulled his St. Christopher medal off, and he went bananas, and he begged to get it back, and finally the girl got it back, and he gave her an autographed photo, and he felt much better about that. And, let's see, I'm trying to think then they went on tour I remember they went on tour and their North American tour they they must have done

about 22,000 miles across our continent in a little over a month. Wow. And when they said roughly how many people saw them on the tour. He's taking over the show. That's it. Oh, well, I'll tell you. 154,000 people saw them on the tour. I'm just going to go out and get lunch.

Now that I gave you all the information, can I hang up? That's all we needed. Now, I want to know when these photos that the girls, were there any like, what type of photos were they? What do you mean? The ones they threw through the window of the limo? Were they decent photos? I mean, like, photos that you could show. No, I know where you're going, Wilbur.

You know me all too well. They were not good photos. They were just photos of themselves. Oh. You know, in school or whatever. Oh, that's too bad. And I love you, Ringo. I love you, Paul.

I love you, John. I love you, George. See, I was picturing... Those were the kind of photos they threw through the windows of the limo. Could you change... Next time you tell the story,

can you say they were pornographic photos? No, I can't say that, Gilbert. Because at that time, my face was still broken out. I can't take kids. Now, I heard that you also became friends with John Lennon. Yeah. you also became friends with John Lennon.

Yeah. Yeah. After he found out who I was and he watched the act, he walked over to me and very nicely said to me, you're really very funny. He gave me a very nice compliment. And he was really a nice compliment. And he was really a nice guy. They all were.

They were... But I could tell right off the bat I said, they're going to be a sensation in our country. And did you and John... The first song that they were singing, I believe, was All My Loving. That was the first one.

Did you and John talk, like, a lot to each other? Oh, no, we didn't have that much time because Sullivan, more or less, kept them very busy, you know. And don't forget, this was their first big appearance, and they had other things on their mind, and I didn't want to get into a deep conversation. Now, I heard, I was talking to a friend of mine who knows Eugenio,

and I asked, I thought, you might want to tell some of your jokes on the air. And he said, you don't like in public saying stuff that's off color. Off color? Yeah. Well, let me see. I really, I've never done anything like that, Gilbert. That's your great talent.

anything like that, Gilbert. That's your great talent. I remember one of the first things I ever said, oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam and I'll show you a house full of dirt. My favorite joke, I remember one of the first jokes i ever did there were two guys that were drunk they were at the zoo and they were standing by the lion's cage and they were looking at the line and all of a sudden, the line let out a tremendous roar. And the one drunk says, okay, let's go now.

And the other one says, no, I'm going to stay and watch the movie. Martin, let me ask you about Ed Sullivan, because I read an interview with you. You said he was a great guy. Well, I'll tell you, people ask me how many Sullivan shows we did. I tell everybody I did more Sullivan shows than Ed Sullivan. You said he was a nice guy, and not everybody in the business considered him a nice guy, which I found interesting. Yeah, he took a liking to Steve and I, and the reason he used that so often is,

I hate to tell this to Goldberg, but because he did a great act, and then he knew he'd never have any problems. So in other words... He would never say anything or do anything that would embarrass him. He was very strict on the show, I'll tell you that. So, that's the difference between... And in those days, you couldn't do a commercial,

because if you did a commercial, he started... ...money. That bugged him. So anything in your routine that was a priority to a product, he wouldn't allow it. But there were things that I thought about that I would love to have done. But he was very kind to us, and he really liked us. So unlike me, you work very clean. Yeah, I know.

What about it, Gilbert? Can you tell, can you tell. Hey, Gilbert, did you know the Harvard School of Medicine did a study of Jewish women, why they like Chinese food so much? Why? Okay, Marty. Do you know why they like Chinese food so much? Why? The study revealed that the reason for this is because one tongue spelled backwards is not now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha times. On the And the

other thing, Gilbert, there's a controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.

According to Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it

graduates from law school. Oh, my God. I'm making Gilbert laugh. Somebody tape this. Somebody tape this. We're trying to.

As a thought. Yes. Now, can you tell a couple of times on the phone you've told me jokes that were not really network TV friendly? Would you be able to tell one of those? Where? Here, on my podcast. It's okay okay marty no one's listening i just gave you too good yeah yeah we're the only two people listening to this podcast i don't believe that gilbert i know you're a fan They're fans. They're glued to your broadcast.

May I say, then, one of the jokes you told me? One of the jokes I... Well, the jokes I told you were in complete confidence. Oh, okay. And the only reason I told them to you... Okay, okay. So you could use them. No, then, no, then no problem.

No problem. So you're more decent in your material than I am. Well, you have a knack for doing a certain kind of humor. Oh, you know, I remember something that... I was looking up different things, you know. I'm writing a book about my life, and I remember when I met George Burns. Gilbert, you got to hear this.

He told me, if I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get small laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get small laughs, I'm a humorist. And if I get no laughs, I'm a singer. So did you know George Burns well? Yeah.

He was very... He saw me work and he gave me a very wonderful, he said to me. He was so nice. He really was. And he said, where do you get your humor? I said, it just comes to me naturally. You know, being physically funny, many things could happen, Many things could happen, and I can now live my way through many, many, like being on the Mike Douglas show or doing Hollywood Squares or doing the different shows. I was never told what to say or how to say it because I knew that it would come off very funny. And you have that talent, too. Oh, thank you.

Now, I saw a clip of you on the Dean Martin show. Yeah. And you accidentally, I forget the guy, damn it, you accidentally pulled someone's toupee, damn it, you accidentally pulled someone's toupee off. Oh, yeah.

That was one of the most famous things. I was dancing and it was Leslie Uggins and Dean Martin and Eddie Foy. Oh, okay. While I was dancing, Eddie Foy suddenly put his hands up and started pulling my hair.

Because, you know, at that time I had the wild hair and everybody. It was one of my physical attributes. And when he started pulling my hair, I reached up and grabbed his hair and it was a toupee and it came off. When, well, everybody collapsed. I think Leslie Huggins and Dean Martin, they got so hysterical

they almost fell over. That was one of the funniest things that ever happened. A lot of funny things happened. And he played it very well. Because when he got the toupee bag, he just sort of put it on his head and arranged it.

And acted like nothing happened. Yeah. That was one of the most hysterical. Another thing I did at Hollywood Palace, and I walked in, Martha Ray was on, and I asked her to do my hair, and I brought all the essentials,

but in the meantime, she had a box there with baking powder and she used the wrong powder and it was for baking a cake and she rubbed it on my hair and at the end of the program

when she took the thing off there was a cake on my head. Now, did you know... And she asked me what it was like to be when I was a kid, what kind of a kid I was. I said I used to play spin the bottle. You remember the game? Yeah. Spin the bottle?

Yes. Remember the game? Yeah. Spin the bottle. Yes. And the girl would spin the bottle, and the bottle pointed to you. When it stopped, the girl could kiss you or give you a nickel. And by the time I was 13 years old, I owned my own home. Great joke. Marty I have to ask you about the hair

was it really your hair or was it yeah it was my hair I was the first one actually to have you know the wild hair even before anybody even thought of it. They used to look at me and they said, what kind of wig is that?

I said, no wig, it's my hair. But you grew it purposely like that for the actor. And I just let it grow. I see. And it became a phenomenal hairstyle. And I kept it all the time Alan and Rossi were together. And then when we split the act, oh, I got a call that the producer of the Big Valley, producer of the big Valley, the Barbara sandwich show.

Oh yeah. And they, they said to me, would you cut your hair? Well, I wanted to do acting. I said, yes. And I remember when they cut it,

it was a big celebration. And in fact, I think the guy used a, uh, uh, I think it was Saul Goldstein, the barber, and he used a torch. Like, they made a big deal out of it.

And that was the first time I got all kind of write-ups. Earl Wilson and all the columnists, Jim Bacon, everybody sang Marty Cut His Hair. It's a big deal. Did anyone talk about your acting, though? About what? Your acting. Oh, yeah. Well, I played Jonah.

I was given a tremendous part, and it went over so well. I was nominated for a couple of awards for my acting, and Barbara Sandwick, we were sitting one day talking, and she was telling me how wonderful an actor I could become, a very good actor if I gave up comedy. She said, you did one great job. Wow. And I played a Jonah.

And if you ever can get a hold of it, it's quite a thing. If you know what a Jonah is, it's the guy that comes to the ranch and everything goes wrong. And all the guys on the staff, no, I don't mean on the staff. All the people who worked on the ranch said, you got to get rid of him. He's a bad luck guy. And like the rains came, the cattle ran away. You've got to get rid of him. He's a bad luck guy.

And like the rains came, the cattle ran away. And different things happened. They blamed it on me. That's kind of like, what was that? William Macy. Oh, the cooler. The cooler. Yeah. He had a funny name.

Yes. Now, tell us another one of your jokes. Well, they used to ask me when I was a kid what I liked to do. I says, well, I like to play all kind of games. I never liked hide and seek because when I hid in the closet, my family moved. That's great. Now, can I throw out just some names to you of people you may have worked with or known? Now, Groucho Marx.

Groucho? Yes. Yeah. Very, very intellectually funny. He was a very nice guy. I remember when I met him. I remember when I met him, he had an unusual sense of humor. But most of the guys, Gilbert, the big ones were always very nice. I met Jack Benny.

I worked with Sinatra. I worked with Sinatra. I worked with Nat Cole. I worked with Paul Anka. I worked with Lena Horne. I worked with Shirley Bassey from London. And these are all big stars, and all the big stars, they never come off as, you know, conceited. They were all considerate people. Elvis took a liking to me, and he came to see my show when I was appearing at the Sands or the Flamingo at that time.

And they're all class guys, all class. Never any problems. No conceit. And were always willing to help you or tell you how much they enjoyed you. And if they came to see the show, they were just wonderful people. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. So both the Beatles and Elvis Presley were fans and friends of Marty Allen. Yes, yeah, I could say that.

And did you socialize at all with Elvis? Oh, yeah, Elvis invited me many times up to his, when he was at the Hilton, many times he would have, after the show, he'd have, you know, big affairs up in the suite, and he'd have singers. In fact, I did the last show with a very wonderful, talented, phenomenal woman. And you know who it was? Who?

Mama Cass. Wow. Big fan. Right before she passed away. What were these parties like? At that time, I was very heavy. I was really almost weighed about 200 pounds. Joe Miller, the famous booker here in Vegas,

he booked Mama Cass and I together, and they titled it The Heavy Weights of the Strip. That's great. Now, what were these parties at Elvis's like? Well, he'd invite the singers up so he and his group would sing all kinds of songs and they, you know,

they had a beautiful table of all kinds of sandwiches and stuff and if you were lucky enough to be friendly with him and were invited, it was a great compliment. But he, I had a lot of laughs with him. He was just a wonderful human being. That's Elvis and you hanging out.

Yeah. Yeah, that's something. Elvis and you hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. That's something. Elvis, you and the Beatles. It's just like. Me, Elvis, and the Beatles. All right. Now, Marty, Marty, every, every so, I just, I need another joke.

Oh, come on. I love, I love your jokes. I'm a victim. Yes. I'm a victim. Yes, I'm a victim to your jokes when I hear them. You really like them? Yes, I love your jokes. Oh, yeah. A guy went to the doctor and he said, I have a reading in my ear.

And the doctor said, don't answer. in my ear and the doctor said don't answer and then the doctor had a stethoscope up to the man's chest and the man says hey doc how do I stand and the doctor

says that's what puzzles me. And the doctor says, you're going to live to be 70 years old. He says, I am 70 years old. The doctor says, see, what did I tell you? I gotta tell you a couple of years ago I went to see you and your wife perform in New York

oh yeah I remember and it was a great show thank you in fact that was the first time I actually met you in person. Oh, that's right. Yeah, it was Gino who brought you. Yes, Gino Salamone. Yes.

Yeah, Gino Salamone. He said, I'm bringing a friend of mine. I said, who? He said, Gilbert Godfrey. I said, oh, I watch him on television. He's an extremely funny man. Oh, wow. Thank you. And I did. Well, I came to

see you when you were in Vegas. Yes, yes. I found out about that like I was there. This was just, it seems like maybe like a week or so. Oh, I remember it was at the Michael Feinstein. That's where it was. And then, like, a short time later, I was working Vegas, and I look in the first row.

There I was. Yeah, I was honored. Well, I went to see you because I sincerely believe, Gilbert, I'm not pulling any kind of thing. He said, you're really a funny man. You've got a lot of talent and stay in the business because something good will happen. I remember

after the show in Vegas, I was out in the lobby selling like DVDs and books. That's shocking. You were peddling your merch after the show. Yes, yeah, that's very... It's so unlike you.

I'll be looking for a new co-host. I came up. You tell them what I did? Yes. Yeah, you want to tell him what you did to me? I said, I want you to meet my wife. Marty. Yeah.

First Marty comes up to me, and he says, hello, great show, blah, blah, blah. And I say, great seeing you. And then he says, good night. And he walks away, and I'm signing autographs and whatnot. Then he comes back with this, you know, very large, heavy black woman that he grabbed out of the crowd. And just using her as a prop, brings her over to me with his arms around her and said, have you met my wife? Yeah, she was very nice. No, she was a very dear friend of mine.

Oh, so you knew her? I've known her for quite a while. Oh, because I thought it was just some random black person you grabbed. And I thought that could be dangerous. That was, I was cracking up. Somebody asked me, did anyone ask you who were the heroes in your life? your life? Gilbert, if you think back,

who have you always admired, or who have you always looked up to, or when you were growing up, did you have any particular heroes? Oh, so many, and I will, and I'm not just saying this because you're on.

No, aside from me. saying this because you're on... No, aside from me. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Here's... It was one I loved as a kid, and I wonder if you'll have nice things

to say about him, and that's Jerry Lewis. And then it went dead. Yeah. What? I had two heroes when I was growing up. Joe Lewis, Sugar Ray Robinson, the original Sugar Ray Robinson. Joe Lewis and Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Those were my heroes.

But Jerry Lewis. Did you ever work with Jerry Lewis? Well, I knew Jerry very well. I never worked with him. And you got along with him? Oh, yeah. We always got along. I never had any problems. I admired him for his talent.

You know, you've got to give Jerry credit. He was a brilliant man as far as movies are concerned. I mean, aside from Martin Lewis being a sensation. But as a movie maker, he really knew what he was doing. Now, you and your partner, Steve Rossi, made a movie yourselves. Yeah, Last of the Secret Agents. Last of the Secret Agents. It was a lot of fun.

It was a lot of fun. We had Nancy Tanaka and one of the most marvelous actors, Lou Jacoby. Oh, yes. Love Lou Jacoby. Remember him? Oh, yes, absolutely. And Marty did. He was one of the most brilliant screen comedians that I ever. I thought he had more talent than so many others.

He was great. And didn't Nancy Sinatra sing the theme song too, Marty? Yeah. Yeah. And she was in the movie too. Yeah. Now, we also, and Frank pointed it out to me, and I'm amazed at this, who was the director? Abbott, Norm Abbott.

And he was related? Norm Abbott, and I'm trying to think who the writer was, the very famous comedy writer. Mel Tolkien. Yes. Mel Tolkien, yeah. But was Abbott related to Bud Abbott? I believe he was the nephew of Bud Abbott of Abbott and Costello.

So he knew comedy teams. No, he didn't. Now, did you ever... Everybody says, who are the comics of today? I say, well, I don't know them personally, but they're all in Washington.

Well, Mel Tolkien of your show of shows fame wrote that movie for you, Marty. What's that, sir? Mel Tolkien, the famous comedy writer. Oh, Mel was a brilliant comedy writer. Now, what? You know, when you think of, speaking of comedy writers, when somebody gets past me, Sid Seeder, you know,

is very sad to know he recently passed away. What a comedian he was. A brilliant, brilliant comic. And think of the writers that he had on his show.

Think of who his writers were. Woody Allen. Mel Brooks. Larry Gelbart. Neil Simon. Yeah. Carl Reiner. All those famous guys were writers on the Sid Caesar show.

Now, what, because I remember watching you all the time on all the TV shows, and what was the split up between you and Steve Rossi? Well, to be honest, Gilbert, we had great success. We had marvelous success. And then we kept going over and we kept doing, you know, how many times? I started to think, how many times can you play the Copacabana in New York? How many times can you play the Chaparri in Chicago and do all the clubs.

And we had great success. But I felt I wanted to do more than just being part of a great comedy team. I wanted to do acting. I was getting all kind of calls, Gilbert. One of the biggest calls I ever got was Mary

Markham. They asked me to be on Hollywood Squares and to be an individual personality. I said, oh, what a wonderful thought to be an individual personality, I said, oh, what a wonderful thought to be with Paul and Charlie Weaver and, you know, those guys. Wally Cox.

You know, and it was, yeah. Now, what was... And I wanted to do more. I wanted to do more acting. And there were things that I wanted to do more. I wanted to do more acting. And there were things that I wanted to do. And I said to Steve, listen, we've had great success. And I just felt that now was the time that we should part. And that's the way. And we are, I could probably say we are the only comedy team

that split amicably. Wow. I still see Steve. He lives in Vegas. And occasionally we have lunch or we see each other. I never wanted to, you know, have any kind of a terrible parting. We are actually the only team that I know of that split very amicably. Because every comedy team seems like they hate each other.

Like Martin and Lewis hated each other. Abbott and Costello hated each other. Yeah. And, you know, we never fought over any. We just went out and did our job. Excuse me. And we enjoyed and then then when I met Karen in a restaurant and I heard her singing I got the idea of a husband and wife because of Burns and Allen. In fact, today they call us the new George Burns and Grace Allen. Oh, wow.

Only I'm Gracie. Wow. That's quite a compliment. I'm Gracie. And she is not only a brilliant singer, she's a phenomenal woman. Gilbert, you saw her. Oh, it was great. A great straight lady.

And I remember you coming out as, I think, Lady Gaga. Hello? Well. Oh, yeah. Didn't you come out as Lady Gaga at one point? Yeah. No, I came out as Lady Gaga's father. Oh, my God.

I came out in a wild outfit as Lady Gaga's father. Although I came out... Oh, the first time we did Hey Big Splendor, and Karen introduced, she says, we have the great talent of Shirley McClain, and I came up in drag. And Karen and I did Hayvick Spender, and I played Shirley MacLaine. It was sweet charity. Now, what, um, let's, oh, geez. You see, you just stepped over me, Marty, and now I'm gone.

Marty, talk about Nat King Cole first introducing you to Steve. Is that how it happened? Yeah. Well, I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I was like the local comic who became, you know, after the war, I started playing small clubs in my hometown and built up a reputation. And one day the agent said to me, I got you in a club here in town with a very good singer. So I said, oh, great. great I said who's the singer he said well

you're gonna open for us I'm gonna open for her I said this who is it you want to hear Wow. to me and she called Nat Cole because in those days in all the agencies the hardest thing were singers if you recall and they would use a comedian to open the show for them so the comic would do like 20 minutes, and then the singer would come up. And she recommended me to Nat Cohen, and his manager got me with Nat. And there's not enough superlatives to tell you how wonderful a man Nat King Cole was. Not only one of the greatest talents that ever lived, but as a human being, he was unbelievable.

And he was kind and very thoughtful, and we got along very wonderful together. Now, I think Nat King Cole, when he first got either his television show or radio show, it was only like 15 minutes long. Oh, yeah. You're right. He had a great show. It was only like 15 minutes long. Oh, yeah. You're right. He had a great show. And I think they weren't sure if people would want

like a black performer on for that long. And so they gave him like 15 minutes. And then it was a big deal when it was moved to a full half hour. He announced it. Yeah, you're right, Gilbert. deal when it was moved to a full half hour. He announced it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you're right, Gilbert. But in that 15 minutes, he showed how diversified he was. He was a brilliant piano player as well as being, because, you know, he started out with the Nat King Cole trio. But he not only was a brilliant piano player, he was a phenomenal singer. And he had a warm, compassionate feeling the way he did. He was like Sinatra. You would say Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra were two of the greatest singers in our lifetime.

Now, Marty, I'm just throwing out at you, because so many people do an imitation of what Nat King Cole sounded like. Can you do a Nat King Cole imitation? No, I don't do it. I can't even do a Gilbert Gottfried impression. So I think you're like the only one who can't. No, you're one of a kind, Wilbur.

Oh, thank you, Marty. Now, you were one of those, you were known for your insane dancing. Yeah. Well, I was a jitterbug champion. I was a state jitterbug champion. I used to go dancing everywhere. I used to go up wherever there was a dance where people were dancing. I'd go up there.

I'd swing. Well, I was just one of the wild jitterbugs. I remember seeing clips of you. I think they're all over YouTube and stuff. Yeah, I used to do back. Well, I do back movements and jumping. I did wild dances. It looked like a cartoon character, like no person could actually. It looked like a cartoon character, like no person could actually. It looked like a cartoon character.

Yes, yes. Well, thanks for the compliment. It was like, it looked like no person, no real person could move like that. Now, here's something Frank and I were curious about. Everyone. Now, what was something Frank and I were curious about. Everyone. Now, what was your catchphrase when you and Steve Rossi worked together? What?

Yeah, your catchphrase that you are known for. Oh, hello there. Well, what happened was we were appearing in Philadelphia, a famous nightclub called the Latin Casino. And we were in the middle of the act, and Steve asked me something, and I blanked out. And I looked at him, and I knew I had it covered. So I just looked at him and went, hello there. And he looked at me, what? And he asked me the question again, and I said, hello there. And I picked up the audience, hysterical laughing.

And when the show was over, people started walking over to me. And I picked up the audience hysterical laughing. And when the show was over, people started walking over to me and said, hey, hello there. And I suddenly said, oh, my God, I got a catchphrase. You wait all your life to find something like Joe Penner had, You Want to Buy a Duck? Or Lucas Sella had, I'm a Bad Boy. And different... I remember. We would try to find a catchphrase that would linger, that people would recognize.

And hello there, caught fire. So your signature line. And at that time, we would do different people in the news. Yes. And Steve would introduce me. He'd say, like, here's the president of France. And I'd say, bonjour there. Or Israel.

Shalom there. You know, and hello there caught fire. And I wrote it H-E-L-L-O-D-E-R-E. That's great. I remember a kid going to school, and he wrote something out there, and he wrote a D-E-R-E. And the teacher said, that isn't how you spell it. He said, oh, yeah.

I heard that comedian, and I know that's how he spelled it. I remember as a kid watching you, and they would always, I remember, like Steve Rossi would quite often play a reporter, and he'd hold a mic and go, you know, we're talking to whatever the greatest football player or astronaut. And you would like turn around with your eyes going in five different directions and you'd go, hello there.

And I would like crack up each time. Yeah. It would kill me. It became a national catchphrase. All from a memory lapse. Every time I even send a photo up, like someone asks for a photo, I write hello there to whoever,

hello there, Marty Allen. And in fact, I'm writing my book now, and it's Hello There, Welcome to My Life. So when do you think this, well, you're still writing it. Well, Karen and I are trying to whip it into shape, whip it into shape and uh we hope to get it out uh uh and within the next month if possible you know there's so much so many things that happen in your life that you try to reminisce about and then we add we're adding photos and uh we just have to, you know, you have to put it all together. Yeah. It's not easy, I'll tell you that.

So the book is going to be called Hello There, Welcome to My Life. As far as I know, yeah. That sounds, I will definitely read that. And now we need, we need. I will definitely read that. And now we need, we need. I will. I'll make him read it, Marty. Yes. That's good.

But I need, I have to have another joke. Another what? Another joke. Your jokes kill me. Another what? Another joke. Your jokes kill me. Well, I gave you.

Well, you know. Well, I remember that one when the man called his mother in Florida. He said, Mother, how are you? She said, Not too good. I've been very weak. And the son said, why are you so weak? She says, I haven't eaten in a month. He says, mother, that's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in a month? She says, because I didn't want my mouth to be full. That's a great joke. Fool, you should call. That's a great joke.

Because I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call. That's great. So, okay. We have to wrap now, and we would love to have you back again. Yeah, Marty, will you do another one with us? Do another one? Yeah. Another time. Well, okay.

But for the same price? Same price. Same as the Beatles got the first time. Yes! By the way, how many of these programs have you done already? I think this is the third one. Yeah, this is just our third, and it was great. Oh, good. It was an honor to have you on.

It was an honor to be on, Gilbert. Oh, thanks. I stayed home this afternoon. I even combed my hair and put on cologne because I wanted to be in shape. Well, your hair looks great and you smell terrific. And this has been... Thank you, Mark. I told you, I'm one of your groupies.

Well, I don't know what that means. He's going to throw some pictures in your window. Yeah, yeah. I hope this doesn't mean we have to go back to a hotel room together. Yeah. Well, Karen and I were just in Florida. You know, I love Florida. I love the diversity.

You know what that means, Gilbert? What? Diversity in Florida. Yes. diversity in Florida. I went over the tree and I shook the tree and you know what happened? Six oranges and twelve

Cubans fell out. Well, we have to close up and this has been great. Thanks, Gilbert. I could listen to your jokes like for an entire day, if not longer. Oh, wonderful. And so this has been the great Marty Allen. Thank you, Marty.

Thank you, Gilbert Gottfried. Oh, thank you. Enjoy. Oh, thank you. And this is the end, and I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and my co-host has been Frank Santopadre, and this is... Oh, your co-host is very good. Oh. Oh, Marty, you're a prince. Thank you. Well, at least you think so. I have problems with it.

But that's... We'll talk about that off the air. Are you paying them the same thing you're paying me? Exactly. And this has been the Amazing Colossal Podcast. Thank you, Marty Allen. Thanks, Gilbert. Bye- Podcast. Thank you, Marty Allen. Thanks, Gilbert. Bye-bye. Thank you.