Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 66. Rhonda Shear

Episode Date: August 31, 2015

It's "Gilbert & Frank After Dark" when the boys ring up Gilbert's old "Up All Night" co-host, former Miss Louisiana and B-movie queen Rhonda Shear, who looks back on her early days as a struggling actress and dishes dirt on everyone from Red Buttons to Wilt Chamberlain to Jackie Mason. Also: Rhonda poses for Playboy, dates Donny Most (and Glenn Frey), studies with Eric Von Zipper and hams it up with Don Adams and Don Rickles. PLUS: Tales from the casting couch! "Prison-A-Go-Go!" The Mighty Carson Art Players! Chuck Barris eats a hard-boiled egg! And Henny Youngman's last stand! If you've got a car and a license, put 'em both to work for you and start earning serious, life-changing money today. Sign up to drive with Uber. Visit http://www.DriveWithUber.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. The Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast producer of the month for August is Kate Jones. Thank you, Kate. Be just like Kate and get rewarded for supporting our podcast. Head over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. For a small amount each month, you can get some colossal benefits,

such as access to new podcast episodes before anyone else, exclusive video hangouts, shout-outs from me on Twitter. I will even read something that you send me and it'll sound just like this. Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. We thank you for your generosity. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is a former beauty queen, TV personality, comedian, and actress who's appeared on Happy Days, Three's Company, Married with Children, Full House and Spaceballs, as well as the classic films Galaxina and Prison

A Go-Go, and Assault of the Party Nerds 2, and worked with everyone from Bob Hope to Chuck Beres to Don Rickles, but she'll always be known to yours truly as my partner

in crime and the host of the late great USA of all night. Welcome the funny and sexy Rhonda Shearer. Oh, I love that intro. Yes. Welcome, Rhonda. It's the best, I love that intro. Yes. Welcome, Rhonda. It's the best intro I've ever gotten in my entire life. So you weren't good enough for the Party Nerds Part 1? They didn't know me back then.

It wasn't until you and I did all night that they found out about me. You can still do that. I can still do that. Yeah, because people make me do that. Yes. It's really bothersome. What other things have people made you do over the years? Well, they tried to make me do things.

You know that I was in that whole Bill Cosby era. I did not know Bill Cosby, but you know how all these people are non-believers that that happened? No. That was the era when you couldn't have babies out of wedlock, you couldn't have babies at all, you had to look and act sexy at all times

and act like you were single and ready for these sleazy producers. And so therefore, guys, the casting couch was very alive and well back then. I didn't do anything. I hid behind. And you probably remember, Gil, I dated a comic named Bobby Kelton, who was kind of boring.

And I kind of used that as my shield. I looked like this sexy, over-the-top thing. But when, in fact, I was a homebodybody and I'd go home and hide behind that. So I basically was a prick teaser. I put it out there that, yes, I could and may sleep with you, but I never did. And hence the problem why I'm now selling bras and not the star that you are. Well, can I say something, too? Around that time, I, too, was a major cockteaser.

You still are, buddy. Yes. I thought it would help my career by being a big cockteaser. I remember. It's true. You had to, like, put it out there, but then you had to, you know, run away. It was a very scary time. And I was fucking Bill Cosby at the time.

Yes. I was the only one who wasn't. I never met him Cosby at the time. Yes. I was the only one who wasn't. I never met him, thank God. Yeah, he was on top of me going, Hey, Zygos, and you know it's a thing. And put your thing in the thing with a really, And let me lick on your nose and suck on my

hoosie you've got a big round housey nose now you know what kind of show it is Rhonda I love it I can tell you a penis I did see but didn't have any you know, there was no reaction, there was no

texting or anything. But I can tell you a really famous penis. Oh, I love it. You always talk about Milton Berle's penis. Oh, you've been listening. Yeah, I guess. I know what you guys are up to. I saw, not that I wanted to,

Will Chamberlain's penis. And it was like a tree trunk. Oh, jeez. Not like it surprises anybody. Well, supposedly he had this incredible number of conquests, supposedly 2,000 women, Will Chamberlain. Right. But let me tell you the situation because this was the kind of stuff that was going on in the 80s and 90s. I was at

a party like you know all young starlets it was a nice party it was at some athletes i can't even remember now but he said let's let's bring the party over to my house so you know we all went to his house with a group of people and he had the coolest house like the pool undulated in and out from inside the house to in to It was really, really cool. Long story short, he goes, oh, you've got to see this secret room I have. Kind of like at the mansion. So he had this little private room that you were to crawl into. So I crawled into the room.

Next thing you know, the tree trunk is out. And, you know, he's trying to get me to go towards the tree trunk. And I had never seen anything like that before. I was pretty young. I was still in my 20s. So I saw it, and I crawled out. And he was a gentleman anything like that before. I was pretty young. I was still in my 20s. So I saw it, and I crawled out. And he was a gentleman and took me home. So he did not force himself upon me.

But I did see it. So it was one of the more famous penises. So Will Chamberlain was trying to get you to climb his street trunk? No, he was trying to get me to lick the popsicle. Lick the popsicle. Way bigger than a popsicle, I can tell you that. Do you think? It was a fudgesicle from an alien fudgesicle.

Now, do you think? With veins. It had a lot of veins. Oh, God. I did have to take a glimpse. I was young. I'd never seen anything like that. It was pretty amazing. I just remember he had this, like, big, crazy Mercedes. It was just weird. But he took me home, and he was a gentleman. And that was it.

That was my only encounter. Wait, he was a gentleman? He was trying to shove his enormous cock in your mouth. And he didn't force. I mean, I had guys that wanted to act out love scenes on Universal's lot that actually Okay, wait. I got a great story, a great casting couch story. Do you remember the late, great producer?

He produced Funny Girl and great films. His name was Ray Stark. Oh, sure, Ray Stark. I mean, I'm talking old time, but, like, amazing. So I get to L.A. I'm fresh off the plane from New Orleans. I am this little beauty queen. So I really am. I have

the Jewish parents who are very protective. Anyway, my producer, my agent sends me and she goes, you've got to go have a general meeting with Ray Stark. They used to have these general meetings with people, which really meant nothing, but you thought you were, you know, getting to meet this great producer that was going to catch you in his next film.

Anyway, I go see Ray Stark in his bungalow on Universal's lot, and I've got my little portfolio from New Orleans, and he's going through, he goes, oh, you're such a beautiful girl, you're going to have a great career, blah, blah, blah. Next thing you know, he goes, you know, you have to be willing to wallow in the dirt of Hollywood to get ahead. That's exactly what he said.

Oh, excellent. You have to be willing to wallow. And I said, okay, and we're getting, and he goes, you need to come to my place in Palm Springs this weekend. And I was like, okay. And then I walked out and then, and then I called my agent. I'm like, this was a setup, wasn't it? Of course it was a setup. She was probably getting all kinds of money for all the girls she was sending over, but I had to be willing to wallow in the dirt. And I never wallowed. And hence, I'm selling bras.

Ray Stark, that was a big name. He was 150 then. He was 300 years old. Big producer. Ray Stark. Big producer. Yeah, a lot of Neil Simon movies. I never saw his mushroom.

It just seemed like it would have been a mushroom. I never saw his mushroom. It just seemed like it would have been a mushroom. I mean, I do have funny penis stories, but I never... The thing is, my whole thing was getting away from the penises. People were always showing them to me, but I was always running. Thank God I never was one of those victims. Now, what penises did you see? Other than... Aside from you see? Other than... Aside from Wilt.

Other than Wilt. Let's see. Do you think he... Who? Do you think he has a wilting penis now? Oh, yeah, we lost Wilt. Wilt's gone. Okay.

Okay. I had red buttons whisper in my ears really nasty things about what he wanted to do with my vajayjay. Oh, great. Red buttons? That's a scoop. Red buttons. And this was, like, right before he passed, so this wasn't like, sorry if my phone's buzzing through. It must be red buttons from another place.

Yeah, he told me what he wanted to do down there. And I was just, I mean, he was already, how old was he? It was like the year he died. Yeah. So that was shocking. That was like another shocker. When he was. These old comics always hit on me.

When he was telling you what he wanted to do with your pussy. And what he could do and how he could bring me to levels I've never been. So he was going, I can stick my dick in your pussy and he never got it either. I can lick your

tongue. It was more with his tongue. He wasn't going the dick route. I think at that age he couldn't do the dick route. I can lick your tongue. It was more with his tongue. He wasn't going the dick route. I think at that age he couldn't do the dick route. It was more. I can lick your pussy and he never had a dick. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Strange things are happening. Ho, ho, ho, ho. I knew he would love these stories.

Oh, God. You're just setting him up, Rhonda. Of course I am, but these are true. I mean, these are true stories. All right, we did some... The thing is, there was never any action. People just told me what they wanted to do. Okay, so what famous dicks have you sucked or fired?

No, I didn't do enough. I'm telling you, I didn't. What about Chuck Barris? There were so many. I passed... Oh, Chuck Barris. I do have a great Chuck Barris story. Chuck was, when I first got to L.A., you know, obviously, you know, you don't know anybody,

so you'll do anything. Well, I would do anything to get on TV, but except suck dick. So, you know, I auditioned for the Gong Show. Holly Gilbert had those standards. All the shows that he, all those shows he produced. And he loved me. $1.98 beauty pageant. Oh, yeah.

Comedy courtroom. And I actually, comedy courtroom is how I met Bobby Kelton. Anyway, so that was 14 years of my life. Okay. So anyway, so he really liked me, I guess, but I didn't see that, Chuck. So he wrote me this note that he wanted to come over and have a hard-boiled egg at my house. A hard-boiled egg? He wanted to come over for breakfast and have a hard-boiled egg.

He had a cast because he'd broken his arm or something. I was like, no. I was afraid of him. I was afraid he was going to get too frisky. I said, no. He goes, how much could I do with a cast and a hard-boiled egg? Anyway, he was really funny. So he was hitting on me, but gently.

But I never took the bait. Did he bring Gene Gene, the dancing machine? And who was the other? He never came over. The unknown comic. He would write me these kind of notes. Oh, the guy. He did.

I got all kinds of, like, I can tell you this. I missed out on sleeping with the most famous guys. They were mainly producers that could have helped my career. And I didn't sleep with any of them. It was a problem. What about Pat McCormick? Do you have a Pat McCormick story? I never slept with him.

But he rode up all night. I don't think he did for Gil. But he was funny. I never tried. He was sweet. He was like a granddaddy kind of guy. But, I mean, there were all these comics. Oh, my gosh.

All the old-timers, they really did like me. They embraced me. Oh, name some of the other comics that tried to fuck you. Morty Gunty. Joey Ross. This is how old I am. Remember Bill Daly from My Dream of Dreaming? Of course.

Oh, my God. We love Bill Daly. Yes, the next door neighbor. Or his fellow astronaut. He probably wouldn't remember, but I had dinner with him at, it was the Bistro. It was like the hot place. It was like down the street from the bistro gardens in Beverly Hills. And I remember Johnny Carson was sitting a few tables over,

and he was saying that Johnny wouldn't have him back on the show and blah, blah. So he was like more intense on that. But he wanted me to come back to his place, but he told me that whenever he traveled he brought a candelabra and put it up because he thought it was very romantic to have sex and have candelabras burning. And I just pictured him traveling with this Liberace kind of candelabra. I never saw it. It never happened. It didn't go there.

But he wanted it. He wanted to go there. So Major Healy from the I Dream of Jeannie traveled with his own make-out candelabra. Yes. Okay, I'm going to make a note of that. He was the neighbor and the... Oh, he was Howard Borden on the Bob Newhart show. And he traveled with a

Liberace... A big door candelabra. A big door candelabra. See the stories that you don't know. What's the other guy? What's the other little Jewish comic? I can't think of his name. Gilbert Gottfried?

No, like you but older. What was he in? He's still around. Oh, my God. Oh, gosh, what's his name? What kind of actor? Not Henny Youngman. By the way, I don't know if you know this or not, Gilbert.

Henny Youngman, they did a faux roast for me up all night, and it was at the Friars Club in New York City, and it was Henny Youngman's last appearance before he died, so that was kind of cool. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was really kind of cool, and, you know, so I don't know why. Sometimes they put us on shows together, but not all the time, but it was fun, and that was like one of the last shows we taped, too. I guess they didn't connect my name with a roast. Why would they think of you? What about Billy Barty?

Was he ever inappropriate, Rhonda? No, Billy was very sweet. I worked with him. Eric Estrada from Chips also whispered in my ear what he wanted to do with my vajayjay. Oh, what? While doing the last year of Chips, the last season, and we were on a barge. And I was like, we were filming, and it was this really cute show, and I had a nice guest starring role.

And he took the megaphone, and he yelled at everybody on the barge, you are all here because of me, and I can fire any one of you. We're in like the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Not the middle, but offshore. Wow. And like all here because of me. And I could fire any one of you. We're in like the middle of the Pacific Ocean, not the middle, but offshore. Wow. And like everybody was scared of him. And then he saunters over to me and this other girl that was, I was working with, young girl. And he tells me what he wants to do. And I'm like, I'm going to get fired because I'm not doing this with this dude. And I was telling the girl. And that was all he said that, but he never, he never really, he didn't, he didn't show and tell her anything.

Chris Albrecht. Remember Chris Albrecht? Oh, yes. Sure, of course. Of course. Okay, so Chris, who was a doorman at the Improv a million years ago,

I didn't know him then, but when he came to L.A., he was just like this little agent sidekick at William Morris, and he would sit in front of my door of my apartment on Wilshire Boulevard trying to get in, yes, to see things and to do things.

And I wouldn't let him in. There was one that I was stupid not to let in. But, you know, that would have been perhaps a good move. I don't know. Fucking an agent assistant? Look who he became later on. That's what I'm trying to say. He went bigger than that.

Well, in the old days, he was half of the comedy team with Bob Zmuda. That's right. All Brecht and Zmuda. I forgot about that. That's right. We had Bob Zmuda on the show. Let me ask you this, Rhonda. How did you and Gilbert first meet?

It was through all night. And he was always sarcastic to me. But I think we had a certain chemistry, but he didn't think it. I don't think that he thought that. I think we could have done fabulous things together. But no, he just didn't go that direction. So I'm mad at him, too. Oh, wait, is he on this show?

Yes, he is. Now, I remember I did, however, grab your tits a couple of times. Yes, you did. We did the Universal in Florida show together. And we were in Jamaica, I think, together. I remember having white tigers on our lap. Do you remember that? Oh, yes, yes.

And they broke me out. I was allergic to their dander. It was not good. We did a show at a tattoo parlor. We did a B-movie awards show. They put us together, I guess, through the years a dozen times. Hey, before me, I have a question for you. Yes.

What about the chick Caroline Schlitt, who was on a year and a half before me? Oh, yes. You know, I think she was really good. I think she was ahead of her time, but they wanted somebody more over the top, more out there, yes. You know, I think she was really good. I think she was ahead of her time, but they wanted somebody more over the top, more out there, sexy, but I think she was really smart sexy. I like Caroline Schlitt. Yeah, she was.

Yeah, I don't know her, but people still go pissed at me that I took her job, a few people. Yeah, I remember it was like I worked with her a couple of times. She was very nice, funny, and then one day, out. One day, it was me. Yeah.

And you guys together, I don't know if the numbers are right, but the Internet research says you guys hosted a collective 900 episodes. Is that possible? I know that I hosted. I know Gil hosted more than me because he was on a year and a half or two years longer than me. But I know that I hosted about I know Gil hosted more than me because he was on, you were on a year and a half or two years longer than me, but I know that I hosted about 430 shows. And then, I don't know if Gil knows this, but they basically

got rid of all the shows for the videotape. They just destroyed them. Oh, wow. I have all of mine. I have all but about 20 episodes. I have all of them. Because that was like, and by contract, they'd send me a tape. And so since then I've converted them.

So I even have shows with Gil. But like all the shows were destroyed through the years, which I just think was crazy. It was like we were ahead of our time. We were doing stuff because the network wasn't watching what we were doing. So we would make fun of the network and do all kinds of crazy stuff. Okay, so I had these foot fetish fans. I don't know if Gil knew that. But I had these major crazy guys that would send me gifts and jewelry and toe rings and guns.

Didn't you used to crush things on the show with your feet? Yes. I started playing into it because I was like, I like the gifts. I'd get shoes. I got a 9mm gun. I mean, that my husband has to this day that he loves. Oh my God. Yeah, I got crazy. I got champagne. So we started playing into the foot fetish fans and they would go crazy with smush things. Yeah, that just became part of the gift. So it wasn't like I started that. The fans were

like, could you please put your foot up to the screen? Is there any way you could lick your own toes? And I was weird enough, and I think I may have actually done that a couple of times. Gil, you didn't get those requests? No! Like an idiot, I always wore shoes. Well, I wore shoes, but they wanted to see, see pantyhose were back in. So I still to this day, I bet you right now in my email is somewhere wants to see me wearing pantyhose and taking my shoe and bouncing it off my toe, you know, kind of like in a teasing way.

Foot fetish is the number one fetish I found out. I didn't know anything about this. I didn't know weird stuff until I started doing this show. Well, what's his name has a foot fetish? I was kind of naive. Who has a foot fetish? Pope Fiction. I thought you said Pope.

Yeah. Pope Fiction. No, I did not read to the Pope. I did not see him. Oh, Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish. Quentin Tarantino, major foot fetish. He does? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Why didn't I know that years ago? Close-ups on Uma Thurman's feet in those Kill Bill movies. Yeah, well, at the Fry's roast, Uma made him drink out of her shoe. Oh, yeah. She pulled out her pump. Oh, yeah. Oh, I can't even tell you how many guys talked about sucking my toes and doing it with my feet.

Hey, the weirdest sex toy I've ever seen. I know Gil has strange stories and has seen a lot of that kind of stuff. But we were doing research for a product years ago that I was going to do a bath line, you know, with bubble bath and all this stuff, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, we go on and we see what's happening with feet and, like, products for feet and creams and lotions. And we found, like, a foot, like, what do you call that kind of plastic that's soft, moldable plastic. And in the middle of the foot was a vagina. And you could buy that. So you could actually do it with a plastic foot with a vagina in the middle of it.

So it's, like, got to be the ultimate fantasy for foot fetish guys. So you could fuck a foot. You could fuck a foot. That would be theetters. So you could fuck a foot. You could fuck a foot. That would be the great thing. It's new fuck a foot. By Ronco. There's an infomercial for you. Ron Popeil presents fuck a foot.

For you guys on the go. It's fuck a foot. You never lose a step. Rhonda, go, it's fucker fight. We never lose a step. Rhonda, yeah, that's funny. You did a lot of crazy stuff on Up All Night. You dressed up, do I have this right, as Cher, as Lucy, as Alice Cramden? Yeah, in the last year. It was really sexy and crazy in the L.A. years, but I wanted to keep the job.

So I said, hey, I'll move to New York. I didn't move to New York, but they flew me in in and we do four shows at a time in New York. And they were just trying to save money and shut down production in LA. So in those last years, you remember Vita, she was my director and we did, um, we did things that for me as an actress, it was just more fun to do the impressions. So I enjoyed doing that. I don't think the fans liked it as much as when I was doing foot things, but it was definitely, for me personally, I enjoyed doing stuff that perhaps showed a tiny smidgen of talent. But it's amazing how that show,

I know Gil went on to do a million gazillion things, but it's just amazing that I still get letters and emails about it. And there's a Yahoo group of about 25,000 fans still trying to bring back Gil and I. I remember. Here's the weird thing. Oh, go ahead. There is this weird, you know, these kids grew up with these films, and then the films went away, and now there's this whole genre,

like resurgence of these B films. So I actually brought back up all night. It was kind of fun. I was doing this locally, and we were putting it on local TV, and we were going to put it on Roku. And here's what we were doing. We were just doing these fun little bits because I have my own little film crew because we do so much B footage for what I do now.

So we were doing these bits and wrapping around little shorts that young directors and producers were sending in. So they'd do these five, ten-minute shorts, and they were just trying to get scenes. So we were just putting those up, and producers were sending in. So they'd do these five, ten-minute shorts, and they were just trying to get scenes, so we were just putting those up, and people were loving it. So, see, there's a show Gil and I could do. I'm always trying. It's like Lucy and Debbie. I remember one time.

I remember one time we were working together on one of the Up All Nights, I remember one time we were working together on one of the Up All Nights, and I reached over and grabbed your tits. And I probably didn't even flinch. Yeah. And your boyfriend at the time, I guess Bobby, went over to you. Yeah, it was Bobby. He went over to you angrily and said,

Did Gilbert just grab your tits? And you gave some kind of explanation to him. That sounds about right. Yeah. But I can't see him even getting angry. You said. At all, because I just can't see. Bobby just didn't, you know, as long as he got on TV, he didn't care how he got there.

So, you know, if that could have helped him, then he would have done it. When I remember you saying to him, you told me what you told him, and you said, well, no, no. He didn't actually grab my kids. He didn't actually grab my tits. He put them at this angle that looking at it from the outside, you might think he's grabbing my tits. But he was like a foot and a half away. He probably believed it.

Yes. Yeah, he walked off when, oh, yeah, that makes sense. But that just shows you how brave Gil was, that he would grab a tit in front of a boyfriend or a fiancé. It didn't matter. It was fine. I just saw it as part of our chemistry. You know, and besides, I probably didn't even notice because they were fake. You know, I probably couldn't even feel it.

You know, I didn't have feeling in them. They were just, They were like props. That's funny. Now, they're like, oh, my God, they were big then. They're huge now. I mean, no one told me when you get older, they keep growing. I mean, stop the watering of them. I don't know.

It was much more fun back then to have them bigger. I think you said, didn't you say your mother wanted you and I to get married? Oh, yeah, my mother did. She thought we were great, that we should totally get married. We had great chemistry. We'd go off and make tons of movies together. You're trying to wrap my brain around that. And you were Jewish.

My mother just wanted me to get married. But especially, you were the right, you know, it was just right. My mother, she used to show up to a lot of those shows, too. She was awesome. God bless her. Hey, I remember your mom, too. And here's the other thing about Gilbert. I can tell stories.

He used to borrow quarters from me for pay phones back then. That shocks me, Rhonda. Can't believe that. That's not shocking news. He was the one making more money, and I was lending him quarters for pay phones. Can you imagine that they even had pay phones back then? And then I think I was also the one to get swag, because we'd always get swag on these. Like, if we went to Universal, we'd get jackets.

I think I was the one that kind of, like, pushed for the most swag, and I got it and shared the wealth. I don't know if you remember that, because I was just really good at flirting to get more swag. Like, what did I do? I had, like, a million hard rock cafe jackets. And Universal jackets. Dara is nodding and laughing, Rhonda.

So obviously... About the quarter part? Well, also about the swag, because he's got about 600 t-shirts in this apartment that he's collected over the years from gigs. I love swag, too. I do. I don't get any anymore. Actually, somebody gave me some over 50 skin cream last night. It wasn't really swag, actually. somebody gave me some over 50 skin cream last night. It wasn't really swag, actually. I think it was an insult.

But it's okay. That's what happens when I'm on shopping TV. We vendors, we trade our products between each other. When you were saying you were revealing that I borrowed quarters from you, that was of no shock to anybody.

No, not at all. But who are you calling? That's what I want to know. Yeah, and you like strippers. I remember that. There was a thing with strippers. As opposed to guys who hated strippers. As opposed to

guys who hate girls waving their tits and their face. You would actually spring for a stripper? It would cost money. No, no. Only the ones that I could put a quarter in. I see. He wanted the quarters more.

They were cheap strippers back then. He wouldn't go for a stripper. My husband, you know, so I married my junior high school sweetheart. That's who I'm married to. He is great. But he loves strippers. And every now and then I catch him looking at porn. And then it just brings back memories of Gil.

I don't know. It all goes together. And I don't understand that. Like, I did sexy stuff. Why does he have to look at porn? So a guy. I don't know why. All of a sudden this has become like one of those talk shows where I'm calling and asking for advice.

This has turned into the Richard Bay show, suddenly. So, uh, look at... I did his show. Oh, God! Where is Richard Bay now? I did all those shows back then. I did Wally George. I did not do Wally George, but he tried to do me.

Oh, wow. Wally George. He tried to do me, too. There was another one but he tried to do me. He tried to do me, too. There was another one. He wanted to marry me. He proposed to me. Now, is Wally George the father of Rebecca De Mornay? Yes, for real.

That's the one. And he used to play up that whole, I'm an American. Sort of a Morton Downey type, but more patriotic. Yeah, but he was the first one to do the crazy stuff for the audiences. He was. He wouldn't throw people out. He started that whole stuff.

I went on there as all kinds of crazy characters. I would change my character. I went on there one time as an out-call call girl or whatever. I went on there as Bambi the stripper one time, and I would wear different wigs. I'd always get thrown off. I'm telling you, I did crazy stuff in my early days. The things you did for show business, Rhonda.

The things I did. Oh, my gosh. All of us. I'm actually writing a book right now. But these things, I didn't even remember these things until we started talking about them. I just called famous penises I didn't even remember these things until we started talking about them. I just called famous penises I didn't fuck. Maybe that's what it should be.

It's a pop-up book. Everybody talks about the people, you know, oh, this guy did this to me. This guy, I would be like, I messed up by not doing it. Hey, Gil. Yes? I know for a fact that there's only one thing you love better than hanging out at the 99-Cent Store.

Yes. And that's actually making money. Ah! Is that true? Yes. Do I have the right guy? Yes. Here's a cool opportunity.

Please tell me. Here's a way to do it, and that's driving with Uber, which, as you know, is the popular smartphone app that connects riders with drivers. In fact, you used Uber recently. Yeah. I was leaving the Friars Club. After a free meal? Yes, after a free meal. And because I found out the last living member had just died. So I was leaving the Friars Club, pouring rain outside. And so we couldn't get a cab so we got in touch with uber and uber this is amazing

too it's not one of those things those cars that go oh and nearby we'll be there in this and then you're waiting three hours they show you on the screen exactly where the car is and they tell you, we'll be there in five minutes. And then you watch the car on your phone drive to where you are. It's amazing. The truly amazing thing is that you knew how to work a phone. You knew how to work an iPhone. Yeah. I don't know how to make calls on a phone. There's a learning curve.

You'll get to that eventually. Here's the other thing about driving with Uber They love being their own boss They earn great money it's easy to start You just need a car and a license And it's good for parents it's good for students Now is the time The prime time to cash in driving with Uber

And you will thank us Right Gil? Yes if I talk to you Yeah you'll thank us Because you're a star You'll send me a note You don't talk to you. Yeah, you'll thank us. Because you're a star. You'll send me a note. You don't talk to the riffraff. So, what are you waiting for?

You have a car. You have a license. Put them both to good use and start earning serious, life-changing money today. Sign up to Drive with Uber. Visit drivewithuber.com. What's the name of that website? That's drivewithuber, U-B-E-R dot com, drivewithuber dot com.

Don't ever interrupt me again. You, you, but of celebrity digs, you did fuck Don Knotts, right? Don Knotts. Little Don Knotts. He was so sweet.

And I did work with all those Dons. Don Rickles, Don, what's the other Don? Don Adams. Yeah, Don Adams yeah Don Adams and Three Top Bananas that was a cool show and and

oh that girl that used to always be on the Tonight Show Carol Wayne Carol Wayne yeah we should tell our listeners

that you could find that clip which is surreal it's you and and Don Adams and Don Rickles and Carol Wayne and of course

speaking of the gong show the unknown comic Marie Langston Marie Langston's in there it's and Don Adams and Don Rickles and Carol Wayne. And, of course, speaking of the gong show, Murray Langston. Murray Langston's in there. And a guy named Jay Harvey produced that. I don't know if you all know Jay or not, but he's still around. I heard Don Adams tried to stick his dick in your pussy.

I know. And then afterwards he went, missed it by that much. Oh, the Don's. They were all well-behaved on that show. But I did have some funny ones. I still think Will's like the top of the list. And, you know, I have a line of, this is kind of full circle. I did play boy in 1978 in a layout called Girls of the New South, fully clothed.

I was still living in New Orleans. I was still in college. Yeah, tell us what happened, by the way. You were Miss Louisiana, and then you appeared in Playboy. Well, okay, I never lost the Miss Louisiana title. I lost a title called Floral Trail Society Queen, and that was one of those faux debutante things where your parents put up money for. And so they got all huffy and puffy because, you know, they thought they saw a nipple,

which wasn't a nipple. And so they dethroned me, and then I brought them to court. And then, like, I had the lieutenant governor and all these people, like, vowing for my, you know, I am such a good girl. And it was hysterical. I mean, it was just crazy stuff back then. But so here's the stuff that I have crazy that I know that you'll like. So I have a line with Crystal Hefner right now.

And so Playboy's been in my life since 1978. Now she's doing a line of lingerie with us under her name. And then I have a line, and I think you know this, but called Slacker Inactive Wear with Kato Kaelin. And now they're doing a movie about the O.J. Simpson trial, and the dude that played the good-looking prince in Into the Woods is playing Kato, the blonde guy. I don't know his name.

I can't remember his name, but I know he was like the cute prince. And so I talk about timing. Anyway, the Slacker line is getting a ton of attention. The Kato? What is it called? The Kato Kalins? No, it's called Slacker Inactive Wear. I love it. It's like embrace your inner

slacker. He is hysterical. I don't know if you guys know him, but he is a really funny guy. He started in stand-up and it just kind of fucked up his life when he ended up in the middle of that mess. I don't know Kato. Do you know him, Gilbert? No, I may have met him.

I don't even remember if I've met him. He's funny. He's funny. He is funny and quick and really smart, and you guys should talk to him. He'd be a funny interviewer. He's got a lot of stories. Is it true that Don Knot knots whispered in your ear i want to lick your pussy hey ronda can i lick your pussy please while i finger your anus? Let me lick your big, hairy, bleach blonde cunt. Yeah, well, maybe just a little bit.

Oh, my God. It's the dirtiest show we've ever done. I still can't think of, why can't I think of a comic? Well, give us a hint. What was his act like? Did he blow up a rubber glove over his face? Why can't I think of a comic? Well, give us a hint. What was his act like? Did he blow up a rubber glove over his face? No, you know him.

Jackie Mason. Jackie Mason. I like how she compares him to you. Jackie Mason. You notice that the comics in my life have come through really old. So my life is really old or gone. Well, what happened with Jackie Mason, dare I ask? He just wanted to date. He never talked about what he wanted to do with his tongue.

So are you saying he never at any point whispered in your ear, hey, I'd like to lick your pussy. I want to stick my dick in your pussy. And I want to finger your pussy. I want to stick my dick in your pussy and I want to finger your asshole and then all of a sudden I want to lick your cunt clean. Oh my God. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I do remember him saying that. You have to remind me. It wasn't something similar. It was. It was. It was. I think some of my best dates, though. How many people dated Bill Daley? No, not.

You know, we've done 60 shows, Rhonda. We've talked to everybody, and we haven't met somebody who dated Bill Daley. I did also date Donnie Most, but he was nice from a happy date. Oh, wow. And I did go out on a couple of dates with Glenn Frey because I did his very first music video, The One You Love, and he was the one, like, singing in my ear.

He was an eagle. Of course. I'm a big Glenn Frey fan. And talk about what a loser I am. My husband and I went to go see him about six months ago, and I got some receipts, and I handed him a card at the end of the show, and he goes,

I was so excited he remembered me. I mean, tell me what a loser I am. But anyway, it was very exciting. You know, every girl that dates a musician never forgets the musician moment. You know, it's just something sexy. It's even sexier than dating a comic.

You fucked Glenn Frey. Maybe once. Okay. Well, how was described Glenn Frey's date to our audience? I think it was dark. You mean mysterious? No, here's the problem. The ones I wanted to marry, I just shouldn't even go there.

I didn't think about that. There were certain ones I did want that just didn't happen. I mean, who wouldn't want to marry. I didn't think about that. You know, there were certain ones I did want. It just didn't happen. You mean? I mean, who wouldn't want to marry Glenn Frey? Jeez, um. So, so you say his dick was dark, like as in a sinister. I think she means the room was dark. Yeah, yeah.

And untrustworthy. But it glowed. It had a sense of, it had an aura about it. Right, right. Tell us about the Bob Hope special, Rhonda. It was kind of like a Jack Palance. It was dark and broody. I love Glenn Frey.

Oh, we're big fans. I told my husband it was the most romantic concert I had ever seen. I would take Dara to see him for sure. He's so romantic. Dara's giving you a thumbs up. Did you fuck Donnie most? No, I was too young. I would take Dara to see him for sure. He's so romantic. Dara's giving you a thumbs up. You fuck Donnie most? No. I was too young.

I would have maybe. We were just kids. We were just kids. That was even before I did Happy Days. Okay, so let's get to Bob Hope. You know, Bob Hope was a bad boy. Bob Hope was a bad boy. And he actually, there was the girl who was, I was three different Miss Louisiana.

It was like, you know, Miss Louisiana Universe, Miss World. So I won all three through my years because I was doing that back in New Orleans. So one of the titles was Miss Louisiana World. Well, this girl who was Miss Louisiana World before me, he kept her in an apartment for years in L.A. Her name, oh, I can't tell her name. I don't want to get in trouble. But anyway, so her first name was Terry. I won't say the last name.

But, you know, he was a naughty boy. He was a naughty boy. Well, that came out after he died. I mean, supposedly that he had these kept women and mistresses. He did. He did. I mean, he was something else. But he was very sweet to me, and there was none of that.

But doing that, that was the very first thing that I ever did in L.A. And how I got that was it was an open call. It was 1,000 girls standing in line. I literally had just been there three months. I didn't know anybody when I hit L.A. So we're on this open call. All these girls are standing there. I got over a two-day period, and they narrowed us down to 50 girls.

The 50 girls went in front of Bob Hope and his daughter. Finally, I get in front of him, and he's asking me about myself. And I said, oh, I danced, and blah, blah, blah, Miss Louisiana. And he goes, you danced? And I kicked my foot up to show him how high I could kick, and my shoe flipped off and came within a half inch of killing him. Like, it almost hit him in the head. Like, it landed on the table next to him.

And I'm like, oh, my God, I almost killed Bob Pope, or I almost, you know. But I got it. I think he remembered me from that. I mean, I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't try to kick him or the shoe to hit him in the head. But they narrowed the 50 down to six girls, and that was the very first special. And it did start leading to other stuff in L.A. But he was very nice.

And back then they used to do not USO shows out of the country, but they used to do these little shows around L.A. for military. And so I did a few of those. And I danced. Now, I heard at one point Bob Hope whispered in your ear, I want to tell you, I want to lick your pussy. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Isn't that wild? Yeah, isn't that wild?

Oh, if I lick your pussy, that'll be wild. Oh, my gosh, I haven't heard Bob Hope in years. That's awesome. Now you fuck. Okay, wait a minute. I did also do a Johnny Carson, Mighty Carson art players, where I played Scarlett O'Hara to his, um, uh, Rhett Butler.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't hit on me, but the director did. Um, but he was like really serious about that. And then it was really funny because the end of the scene, like you could, I don't think you could get away with this politically correct anymore, but I'm like, oh, Red, I knew you loved me. I knew you always loved me.

And then he goes, frankly, my dear, I'm gay. And this guy who's like, you know, he's dusting in the background. He's like the butler. He picks Johnny up and sweeps him up this long staircase. Oh, I remember that skit. Yeah, that was me. So you were doing the Carol Wayne thing. Well, just he would do those little sketches.

And they wanted someone, it happened to be my agent's office, and they wanted someone Southern who happened to have an antebellum dress. And I did. It was the same dress that I got thrown out of the floral trail for, thinking that I showed my nipple to Playboy. So it was a notorious dress. But anyway, that's how I got that. That was my only time on The Tonight Show, but it was fun.

So I thought you would open the door for a Johnny Carson impression. I was hoping that would take this fair. Oh, you know, if I licked your pussy, that would be wild. Hey-oh! Go back to Jackie Mason. Rhonda, let's ask you about some of these movies that you were in. See, Gilbert and I would love to get your recollections. First, about Galaxina, which our friend Mike McPatten points out,

shockingly, had no nudity in it. It had you and Dorothy Stratton. I know. But Dorothy Stratton, who, oh, my God, it was so tragic. And she and I had the same agent. She was so gorgeous. And I really think she would have become a big star. She really had the chops.

But I just had a small part in it, and Gil would love this, as a mime. I played a robot. So I never spoke. I just was like an alien. When I first moved to L.A., I used to do this mechanical mind, kind of like Shields and Yarnell. It was just something I did growing up in New Orleans. So I did a lot of that just to get noticed.

I actually had this partner, and I don't think Gil will know him, but he is an amazingly funny guy that never made it and should have made it much bigger than he did, named Kenny Ellis. Kenny's a canter now. That's what I do. I turn guys into canters. We met in Harvey Lembeck's workshop. Harvey Lembeck.

Harvey Lembeck. There's a name. Von Zipper. That's right. Harvey was my I did improv and I met this fellow student named Kenny Ellis. Kenny has the voice of a god. He's hysterical. But we didn't know, you know,

what could we do to get noticed in L.A.? He used to carry me in. Jill actually will appreciate this. We used to crash offices. I would wear a nude body stocking, a ball cap. He would carry me in as a doll. And then he would sing to me and then dress me. And he carried me into the Tonight Show office. He carried me into a Merv Griffin warm-up stage. He carried me to Steve Allen's show. We actually got the seventh show of Steve Allen's show, and they canceled after six. He carried us into a Smothers Brothers rehearsal,

and they are the only people that threw us out. So I got to tell Tommy Smothers that years later, that he broke my heart when he threw us out of his rehearsal. But I mean, we would just crash places. You could never do that anymore. So did some crazy stuff in my youth of Hollywood. Very ballsy stuff. Now, is it true

that this comedian who became a cantor, you once fucked him, and while you were having sex with him, he was going, You once fucked him, and while you were having sex with him, he was going... I knew he was going there. I knew it. And you know what?

You're absolutely right. Yes, of course. I did have a fling with him. What about some of these other titles, Rhonda? For just Assault of the Party Nerds 2, Heavy Petting, Detective. Yeah. We asked you about that. Linnea Quigley was in that.

Oh, we love Linnea Quigley. in that. Oh, we love Linnea Quigley. Oh, my God. We love Linnea. She lives here in Florida now. I saw her. She still looks the same. It's crazy. We used to see you on Up All Night with her. Yes, she did a million Up All Nights.

And then the one that you brought up, Prisoner of the Go-Go, mind you, that was just a mere 2004. Just a minute ago that I did that. Still going strong. And I won Best B-Movie Actress of the Year for that. And basically it was prison, you know, girl in prison film, kind of like these new producers reenacting these films that we used to host. And I was like the matron.

we used to host, and I was like the matron. And one of the prisoners in the movie, one of the female prisoners, she would pretty much like smuggle everything into the prison through her vagina, like midgets, like everything. I mean, that was actually in the film. And then they had the shower scenes in the film, of course, and they would actually put a clock on the shower scenes because you have to have a nude shower scene. You have to have, you know, what do you call it, zombies.

You have to have all those things that make up B-Film. What about Earth Minus Zero with Pat Morita and Joey Travolta? Yeah, that was an interesting one. Any memories? Would you go into detail? I started it. It was good. It took for like three years

for it to finally come out. I don't think it ever actually hit the theaters. I think it did. I think you can actually rent it on Netflix, though. No crazy memories. I mean, it's just weird

that Travolta's brother was directing. And he danced well like John Travolta. I remember that. He did a lot of dancing around the set. And speaking of brothers, how about Frank Stallone in Rollerblade 7 with you and Karen Black? And an actor, Gilbert and I love Don Stroud. Oh, my gosh.

I love Don Stroud. I forgot that he was in that. Yeah, another one of those. Gosh, where did you all dig this? I don't even remember doing it. I just remember being out in the desert doing that. We dig deeper on this. What I remember about the Up All Night movies.

I liked Don Stroud. In the Up All Night movies, they would have the brothers of famous people. Right. They had Jim Hanks, Tom Hanks' brother, star nephew. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And like the Frank Stallones and all of that crazy stuff.

John Murray, Bill Murray's brother. Oh, yes, yes. He was in a bunch of them. Yeah, kind of some of those things. What about Do In Time, a Police Academy meets Animal House movie that you did? Oh, what's his name? Jeff Altman. Jeff Altman

from Pink Lady and Jeff. Okay, so I'm just in the very beginning scene, and the whole movie starts off with me having an orgasm. A really long, loud, fake one. Oh, no, it wasn't fake. It was real. But I wasn't nude in it.

It was just like we were under the covers. Jeff Altman. And Muhammad Ali shows up in that one. Wait, what? I said Muhammad Ali had a cameo in that movie. Okay, but I didn't do anything with him. No, you didn't. Yeah, what about Avery Schreiber in Galaxina?

Any memories? Oh, my God. We're just going to throw names at you, Rhonda, until something sticks. I know. There was nothing bad. Remember, I was really young when I did these. Now, did Avery Schreiber and Jack Burns do a threesome with you? Burns and Schreiber and Jack Burns do a threesome with you? Burns and Schreiber.

Okay, seriously, the fact that I've worked with all these people, like Red Puzzles and Bob Hogan. That's fascinating. Jerry Lewis. And Jerry Lewis. Let's talk about Jerry. Oh, Jerry Lewis. I did his telethon even back in New Orleans.

I did the Jerry Lewis telethon from the improv with Jerry, and he was on stage. But, no, I just want to hear Jerry Lewis impressions. But, no, Jerry wasn't always the nicest person in the world either. But I heard Jerry Lewis one time whispered in your ear, I'd like to lick your big hairy file, and I want to stick my whole file in your big hairy and I want to stick my in your big wet

Hey! Oh, Dara, Dara. Can I shove my big veiny into your big tight wet livin'. He sounds a little bit like Bill Cosby, too. Just a little bit.

Well, you know, there's someone who plays it easy. This is my favorite Dara quote, that your son thinks that you are funnier at home than you are at work. That's funny. There are other people who feel that way. I just love that. I think that's awesome. I love children. Really, your kids are so, I can't believe that you actually have these beautiful, normal children.

Oh, there goes the dog. There goes the dog. You're going to like that last comment. All four of them. What about another one of our podcast guests? Wait, say again, because Tiki was barking. I missed that last comment. Is that one of your dates?

It's one of my dates, the dog, yes. What about one of our podcast guests, Rhonda, Alan Thicke? You worked with Alan. I love Alan. No, Alan and I always had a very sweet, nice relationship. No naughtiness, but we did do a bunch of different things. Get ready. That's not what I heard, Rhonda.

I heard. I it goes. Rhonda. I heard. I'm like him now. He said he wants to make love to his son's music. That's so weird. I think I want to do that too. I heard he whispered in your ear, I want to put on my son's music and stick my tongue in your pussy. I really like Rhonda's big your pussy. I really like, I like Randy's big, hairy pussy.

And you do something, I like a big, big, hairy and shaven pussy. Did people actually not shave pussies back in the day? God, when I look back at my old Playboy, I'm thinking, geez, what was that? Sebastian Cabot.

What was that? And how many people could hide out in there? God. I'm telling you, I just can't believe that. That happened back then. Let's fling a couple more names at the wall here for you, Rhonda. What about Lou Gossett you worked with in J.D.'s Revenge? Any memories?

Oh, my gosh, no. I didn't have a scene with him. I think it was Billy Barty in that movie. Billy Barty and Jerry Reed you worked with. And Jerry Reed. My scenes with Jerry, that was how I got my Screen Actors Guild card. Did Billy Barty show you his midget dick? That's all we want to know.

Well, if you think about Billy Barty, he came right up to the right height, which would be appropriate for a woman. I'd just like to have Billy Barty under my dress at all times. Gilbert's the same height. He lost a part to Billy Barty. Yeah, I mean, you know, little people can be so perfect for so many reasons. What about working with John Biner? Any memories of that, Rhonda?

Oh, he married my girlfriend. Did he? We love John Biner. Yeah? We love John Beiner. Yeah, I love John Beiner. That was really a long time ago. It was, okay, this is how long, oh my God, I'm 300 years old. It was Universal's first video for home use,

and it was called Party Games for Adults Only, and we just did these stupid party games, like, just stupid things. And I, okay, this is how bad, I don't know if Gil has his whole life on video, but I got every video, almost every video I ever did from every show. So I have literally a room of, um, at our office of all, you know, all these films. I mean, I mean, all these shows. then I have that one. So I actually have that. And John was great. And then he married my friend,

who I can't think of her name either at the moment. I'm telling you, I just saw that movie. I just saw the film with Julianne Moore about, you know, Oh, I'll tell you. I'm getting a little nervous because names escape me like that. See, so you're getting at that age where instead of having dogs you should have a million cats a million what cats cats i mean i love them as animals i just can't stand them first of all i'm

allergic to them and secondly they're sneaky and they jump on your food and they jump in your kitchen so i've become like this other person. Like I like to cook. I'm like very, I'm a homebody. I'm, you know, I'm maternal. Not really, but anyway, I still love to show my breasts. That's good to know. Speaking of the new Rhonda Shear, Rhonda, tell us a little bit about your business.

You make shapewear. Oh, because gosh knows, after this interview, everybody's going to want to go buy from me. I'm hoping you could make some kind of special garment for Gilbert. Darren and I, wait, talk about his career. Darren and I actually talked about creating a children's product for him and doing an infomercial. I think after this particular podcast, I'm sure everybody would want to do it with both of us. It's over. That dream is over. Dara's nodding.

Tell us about the business. And you built it pretty much from scratch. You were a self-made millionaire. Yeah, my husband and I had this start. I reunited with my high school sweetheart because I had fucked everybody else in Hollywood. Honey, I didn't mean that. Sorry, he really is in the other room.

I didn't. He knows I didn't. And so we started this business. And it really came off of up all night because I hung out in my lingerie for all those years, and my boobs kept growing. And I said, why don't we just do something? Let's do comfortable bras. And he looked at me like I had four heads.

But he was a businessman, so all businesses are the same to a businessman. It doesn't matter what you're selling. You could sell tools. You could sell bras. It's all the same. So we just, we reached out to HSN, and I got on there selling, you know, intimate apparel, and that was, you know, in 2003, and the business really exploded. Then I created this one bra called the Ah Bra, which we've sold 35 million worldwide.

And when that happened, it just exploded our business. And then I started getting calls, wait for this. Oh, Rhonda Shearer, the entrepreneur. Not Rhonda Shearer, the bimbo from Up All Night. So I started calling myself a bimbopreneur. I like that. Because we won Ernst & Young and all these awards for our business, and I'm like, this is crazy.

People were asking me to speak about our business model. I'm like, I'm a stand-up comic, this crazy person who showed my breasts. I don't get it. But anyway, it really is kind of thrilling that you can kind of change your life around because I can't keep doing that at my age. How long can you just audition? Oh, wait, I'll tell you who does have my career. Jennifer Coolidge.

That bitch stole my career. If I was in LA right now, I would have all of those cougars damn rolls that she has. She's funny. She's got the big boobs. She's zopstick. I can make the funny mouth faces and get the Botox in my lips too and I'm mad.

I want my career back from her. But other than that, she does. She has my career. She's in all those Chris Guest movies. So what's the website? Give us a plug. Tell us where people can go if they want to buy this stuff. Go to rondashear.com.

You can read about slacker inactive wear, or you can go to Amazon and look for slacker wear. You can go to Amazon and look for Crystal Hefner, or you can go to crystalhefner.com. And you can also find men's shapewear under svelte.com, which another guy you should have on is Anthony Sullivan, who was on Pitchman with Billy Mays, and he's the OxyClean guy, incredibly funny guy. And we did a shapewear line together. Poor Billy Mays. He came to a bad end. Yeah, he did. And Anthony and he were really dear friends.

There is a lot of interesting stories about our business, the direct-to-market response of business or anything with the shopping television, shopping networks, it's a whole other Hollywood. It's a whole other world. It's just weird. It's a very interesting phenomenon. It should be a reality show or a sitcom about that world. It does look like an interesting world. Well, the closest I've come is Shark Tank, but actually we always talk about, you know, we get pitched products, my husband and I, daily because we have such an amazingly successful infomercial with the opera. So we get crazy stuff.

I mean, from vibrators to toe rings, some normal stuff, but just that alone, we get pitched all kinds of crazy stuff. Everybody thinks they've got a product out there, and some people do. And it is just getting it to market. And sometimes you think you're going to do an infomercial that's going to work, and it doesn't work. But anyway, you should talk to Anthony. He's a funny guy, and he's done very well in the infomercial business. And all of them are kind of crazy. We're all kind of crazy in this business.

Rhondashear.com. Mm-hmm. That will do it. Is there anybody else? I didn't sleep with any... No, but I want to point out to our listeners one great clip that they can find, which is you on a show called The Love Experts with David, with a

very, very young... It's hosted by Bill Cullen. How did you find that? Oh, I dig around. And a very, very young Jamie Lee Curtis on a panel, and a very young David Letterman. Very young David Letterman. I've been looking for that clip because that, to me, that was like no one knows about that.

I would have loved to have sent that in in his last days on air. I'll find it and send it. That's exactly right. I'll send it to you, Rhonda. That's cool. Thanks. I appreciate it. You really send it to you, Rhonda. That's cool. Thanks. You really dig around. We go pretty deep. So, well, this has been a great episode of Gilbert Gottfried After Dark.

I've had a lot of fun. And if I may, I remember there was one time a fight between Jackie Mason and Jerry Lewis and Bill Cosby and Cantor and Alan Thicke. Really?

Fighting over your pussy. And Don Knotts was there. And he goes, I want to lick your thing with the bison and the big red hairy island. And, hey, hairy, and... Hey, I want to put my dick in your pussy, and I'd like you to know the difference between a Jew pussy and a Gentile pussy. Hey, can I lick your pussy, please?

Your pussy's hairier than Aunt Bea. Hey, I want to lick your pussy if they're in the kitbook. Let's lick your big hairy kitbook. I'm crying over here. You guys are crying. I haven't had so much fun and been so dirty since we were all up all night together. It just makes me so horny. Honey, I'm coming to you.

Oh, Lord. Rhonda, you're a sport. Listen, I was on Gilbert. I wasn't on Gilbert. I was on Howard Stern many times. Not on Gilbert. I wasn't on Gilbert. I was on Howard Stern many times. Not on him, but I did bite the hair from his scalp out of his head on one of his shows when he had me in the tickle thing. He leaned over me, and I bit his hair out of his head.

Fabulous. So once you've done Howard, then Jill's easy. How does Jared do it? That's my question. That's something I ask every day. All right, I'm really excited to have been on here with you guys. We have to do it again. I have to have all my other brands on as well.

So I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And we've been talking to the girl who fucked both Pat Morita and Don Knotts and Billy Barty. My old co-host from USA Up all night, Rhonda Shear. Rhonda, say it one more time for us. You mean USA up all night? Yeah, that's it.

Thank you, Rhonda. You got it. Thank you, guys. What fun. I feel so exciting now. You made me so exciting. I'm truly a hooker. And I'm coming over tomorrow and visit you to fuck your foot.

Please, that I would look forward to. Thank you, Robin. We'll do the intramural. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza.

Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy.

There's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny and I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment.

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