Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - 77. Chevy Chase

Episode Date: November 16, 2015

Gilbert and Frank sit down for a memorable (and rare) interview with comedian, actor, writer and original "Saturday Night Live" cast member Chevy Chase, who reminisces about co-stars Dan Aykroyd, Randy Quaid and Rodney Dangerfield and reveals why he turned down iconic roles in "Animal House," "Ghostbusters," "American Beauty" and "Forrest Gump." Also, Chevy reprimands Desi Arnaz, roughs it up with Bill Murray, rides a roller coaster with Eddie Bracken and runs afoul of Cary Grant. PLUS: Sid Caesar's strange superstition! The Land Shark strikes again! "Planet of the Cheap Special Effects"! Gilbert covers Barry Manilow! And the mystery of the Munchkin suicide! MeUndies is offering you TWENTY PERCENT off your first order at http://meundies.com/gilbert. That’s a special offer just for GGACP listeners. Make sure you go to http://meundies.com/gilbert to get twenty percent off your first order of underwear in tons of styles and colors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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MeUndies.com slash Gilbert. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're here once again at Nutmeg Post. Our guest this week is a writer, an actor, and a genuine comedy icon. He really needs no introduction, but it's my show and I feel like talking. You know him from classic comedies like Foul Play, Caddyshack, National Lampoon's Vacation, Fletch, Funny Farm, Three Amigos, Hot Tub Time Machine, and of course, from his co-starring role with me in 2009's Jack and the Beanstalk. Forty years ago this month, he made television history in the breakthrough new late- night show called Saturday Night Live. Please welcome a man far too famous and respected to make an appearance on this podcast. Our pal Chevy Chase. Oh, hey, thank you, Gil.

You know, I've often thought, what is a podcast? Now I know. Now I'm ready. I can't wait to hear what you guys have to do. What I have to do. Okay, we'll just ask you questions. Let me just say this. Yeah.

Gilbert and I spent a little time together recently with some friends, very funny friends, by the way. Can I mention Tom Leopold? Mr. Leopold. For example. Tom's done this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had a blast. It was great to see him, and it's great to see him again.

And I'm awfully sorry about the left eye. and I'm awfully sorry about the left eye. And yeah, we did that thing where we're talking to comedy hopefuls. Oh, Paul was with you too, Paul Schaefer. Yeah, Paul Schaefer and Jackie the Joke Man. Yeah, that's right. Jackie, whatever his name was. But yeah, Jackie the Jokeman. And we sat in four chairs in front of people, about 100 or 200, I'll say kids because, you know, I'm almost 50.

Anyway, who want to be and, you know, stand up comics or comics are in comedy. And so they wanted to learn a few things. And they learned crap because none of us knew what to say. None of us gave one barely intelligent answer. That's right. Yeah. Why should we? We don't want anybody coming up our backs.

We don't want anybody coming up our backs. And what I remember, too, is, oh, I had just had my teeth cleaned or something, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to drink red wine. And you, of course, pushed me to make sure. That you drank it. Yeah. But it didn't affect your teeth, did it? No. No. But it did affect your breath.

Yeah. I should say something about Chevy. Yeah. That the next day after we did that, I was sitting at home by myself, and the phone rings, and Chevy calls me just to tell me that he goes, I really thought you were funny last night. I enjoyed being with you. That's true. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that was— And then I got the right number for Leopold. Tom's going to be thrilled that he's being name checked so much. Now, now, okay, let's ask one question. You felt like you left Saturday Night Live too fast. Well, no, I didn't run. Maybe too early is what you think you meant. Too early. But I felt – I didn't feel it immediately because there were so many other things happening. For one thing, there was a girl that I wanted to marry and was in love with who would not leave L.A., which was a good clue to Lauren and others that she was a nut. And that – you know, I didn't take their word for it. And I married her.

It lasts about eight months. And that was it. Me and SNL. It was over. But I was there really the first year and a month or something. And, you know, in retrospect, of course, and back some time and up to now, I felt, yeah, why did I do that? I mean, you know, there was no way to know it having been the first year of Saturday Night Live. Where it was going or what was going to happen, I had a sense that what we had done that year was certainly partly what

I wanted to do with it, which was make it political satire. This was a time when Jimmy Carter was running against President Ford. And I died in the woolool Democrat, liberal, et cetera. Let me just add that on meeting President Ford and spending time with him and him driving me and my wife around his city, he was a swell, really good guy, but not presidential, not as presidential as jimmy thought he was so uh in any case uh it was it was a good thing for me because i i was a writer i was hired as a head writer uh that that first portion i mean it went back and forth every couple of weeks to Michael O'Donohue and others who are terrific writers. But he put me on the air, and I loved it.

I loved this acting, and I felt no qualms about it because earlier on I had done underground television in New York City labeled Channel 1. Yeah, we were talking about that. You did it here down in the village. Yes, down at 62 East 4th Street. You and Ken Shapiro. That's right, that's right. And Lane Saracen. Yeah, and Victor Langer and Richard Allen. But I mean, basically

it was a Ken Shapiro thing and since he's an ass I'm glad that didn't last for me. And when you were playing Ford, you were always falling down on the show. Yes, yes. And one time, what was the weird injury you had one time when you fell down? Oh, well, you know, let's, well, just to step back, I mean, Ford tended to slip here and there. Yeah, he fell down the –

One of the great ones was coming out of the plane. Yeah. With Betty. Oh, yeah. And they were walking down the steps, the president and his wife, and his head just disappeared from frame. So that pretty much settled it. So that pretty much settled it. But, you know, I had to make use of that and make use of the whole concept of him being clumsy, which I believe he was around, you know, like, what are these wires?

You know, we're going to the Oval Office, sir. These little wires are because you're going to record us. Well, I know he just was a little bit frightened of things. So what was the question? Oh, what was the injury? The injury that happened to me was when Danny Aykroyd and I, Danny was playing a beautiful Jimmy Carter with that smile where he said, I'm going to smile at each and every one of you in the country. You know, it just was wonderful.

The lust in my heart. Yeah. Yeah. Something. Right. And we were having a debate, you know, the typical debates that we're coming up on as we speak now. I decided I should fall forward with my lectern or podium.

People say a podium for the wrong thing. The podium is what the lectern stands on. I was at the lectern and it was just about, you know, chest high or so or maybe a little bit lower. And I also believe I had a needle in my arm because of the flu shot or something. We were the Asian flu, something that had come up. But it was swine flu. Swine flu. Yeah. Yeah.

And God, we lost a lot of swine that year. Used to do swine flu bits on the show. That's why I remember. In any case, I fell forward. And the prop guy, is that the right word? Yeah, that's good enough. But his name was Willie Day. And he was forgotten to take out a middle portion of that lectern so that when I did fall, I couldn't go into the back of it. I went right into, whoops, a board.

And it hit me right in the tonsils. The ones below my belt. So you were – I was in the hospital for a week. Yeah, you were whacking the balls with this thing. Yeah, yeah. I was peeing blood. Oh, God.

Yeah. It was a great sketch, the next day. A great sketch. No, but I – yeah, I got to that where I had obviously done some damage and went away after a week. That must have been indescribably painful. You know, think about it. You know, I mean, it's like when you're on the air there and it's a lot of people and this and that. You don't think it wasn't that bad that I remember.

On the other hand, it wasn't great. And I was used to taking falls and I did a lot of sports and soccer and all that. What's interesting about those sketches, too, is that you never made up. I mean, Saturday Night Live would later become famous for the makeup. And Dan Aykroyd would make himself up as Jimmy Carter. But you just played Ford pretty straight. Thank you. That's true.

But let me give Danny a heads up here because he he didn't do anything. He just had that smile and he had just the right look and and he had the right voice. He was just he was the resident genius on that show. And Danny had him down. Everybody knew who he was and it was very good. Now, can you tell us that famous fight between you and Bill Murray? Sure. Yeah. You go right for the tabloid stuff, do you?

You don't mess around. Well. Now, you have a child that went like. It's funny that it's famous or infamous or anything because there really wasn't anything. It was just that Billy came back to host it a couple of years later, I think. And Billy had taken my place. And Billy likes to fight, clearly, and beat up people, particularly smaller people than him. I could name them, but I won't because they're famous.

And he wanted to pick a fight with me me and I told him I'd eat him. But we didn't actually get into a fist of cuffs. It was getting close. this because John was very unnerved that I was the star of the show before him because we had done a show earlier off-Broadway. Yeah, the Lemmings show. And John was clearly the star. We had gotten him from Chicago. So John had this thing and it wasn't a big deal, but it was sort of a middle finger at

me all the time kind of a thing. And I never thought much about it, but obviously he shared some thoughts with Bill and Bill came out of there swinging and John finally got between the door frame, Bill and me. So like Bill rushed me and John got to the doorframe.

I was out in the hallway, my hands up, ready to box. And ultimately, Brian Delmar, his brother, came and held my arms back while John—this was after I think both of us hit John in the head. I don't remember it well. John Belushi was the instigator I think he was the initiator of it and I don't know I know that Bill was angry because he thought I'd come in

to host a show and it was going to take over a weekend update from the girl who had been doing it longer than me Jane Curtin and that was a you know he's like update from the girl who had been doing it longer than me, Jane Curtin. And that was a, you know, he's like one of these, quote, loyal people who really just wants to fight.

But in any case, I wasn't going to. I mean, it didn't. That wasn't. And it was just something that Lauren and I discussed because when I came back, it's the first time I was hosting. I said, I don't know what people are going to expect from me. All I know is we can update and falling, you know, basically. And it must have come down to that.

You know, in retrospect, I can't imagine what Bill would say about it at this point. And I don't have much to say except that that's my memory of it, you know. Well, fuck it I'm glad Belushi's dead then and by the way I miss John and I wish Bill were dead there's your scoop Gilbert

because he just you know he's gotten too good. We talked about the Louise Lasser story with Lorraine. You want to ask about that one? Louise Lasser was hosting and she would not come out of her dressing room. I can't remember why. Yeah. But Lauren, I believe Lauren decided that we should try to coax her out by using me.

By then I had been doing the land shark that I enjoyed inventing where, you know, you knock and you go, I miss Mrs. Coughlin. One of my favorites. Dr. Coughlin. Whatever. In any case. Because there's a land shark. You'd think Jaws was bad. In fact, the first sketch I wrote was called Jaws 2 that had anything to do with the land shark before the movie Jaws 2.

And it was about the most dangerous shark of all. With Belushi doing his great Richard Dreyfuss. The land shark, yes. He did a great Richard going. shark of all. With Belushi doing his great Richard Dreyfuss. The land shark, yes. He did a great Richard going... And describe what those bits were.

The land shark. Basically they were... The shark, the way I wrote it and the way I felt was that the land shark wasn't that bright. But on the other hand, somehow the people in the apartments that he went to were just a little less bright.

So, you know, it would open with me. You know, you hear a knock on a door and it might be Jane Curtin's reading or something. Yes. And I'd say, I'm Mr. Son. Who? And then I'd give a good pause. Then I'd go, Dr. Carl? Just a completely different name.

Just anything to get her. And somehow, and she'd say, what? Telegram. What? Telegram. And that would somehow coax this stupid person to go to the door. And we had a great shark costume that I put over my head. And I enjoyed it every time I did it.

And she'd go to the door, open it, and I'd reach in and just grab her and pull her out. And so we did it a few times. And it was my favorite character because she could always, you know, Dr. Howe. That's the fact that you couldn't tell by then that this was the smartest guy. So then Louise Lasser was there. And at the time, it was a long time ago, but this was the 70s and cocaine was pretty well-known and so was pot and all that stuff. And I don't know whether she used it or didn't use it. It wasn't the issue so much as that he wanted to get her out of her room because she wouldn't come out.

She was too frightened to do the show or something. So I did the shark voice, and I just went, Mrs. Land, Miss Lazarus, Louis Lazarus? Yes. Yes. Candy Graham. And I'd be nothing. She'd say, what do you mean, Candy Graham. And I'd be nothing. She'd say, what do you mean Candy Graham?

And I went, half a gram. And somehow that got her out, I think. I haven't seen the show. Wasn't there a plan that if she didn't come out, that all of her parts would be played by you and pigtails. Oh, yes. Well, yes, and by everybody else. Yes. It wasn't just me, but I believe that's true.

I think we were all going to—this is Lauren, of course. She'd come up with—he'd just have them ready just in case she didn't come out. See, they all have the same hair that she had. This happened early, like on our second or third show with Buck Henry. Oh, where he got clipped by the sword. Yeah, he got hurt. It wasn't by a sword. It was by going out the window.

But he cut his head. And a Band-Aid had to be put over it before the next sketch. So Lauren immediately thought the whole cast should have the same Band-Aid. And we did the whole, all of us did the rest of the show with Band-Aids in the same place he had one. So nobody was really sure why or who.

And you worked with and were friends with Pat McCormick. Oh, yes. Long before. When I met my wife. Yes. Yeah. We've had a lot of Pat McCormick stories on the show. Oh, my God.

What a funny guy. Are you familiar with the helicopter story? I don't know. Help me. Okay. That he and all of his cronies, all their writers and people, would get together and try to outdo each other at their once-a-year dinner. And everyone would try to be a more expensive restaurant and a more fancy. Is this bringing back anything?

Well, I can see it in my head. Okay. So one day, it was Pat McCormick's turn. And they were all wondering, you know, how he'd outdo the other. And they were all driven, like, by a bus to, like, a heliport. And they were all given, like, a paper bag with a tuna fish sandwich and an apple. And they were going, you know, what the fuck is this? And then one by one, they were put on a helicopter with a hooker.

Well, this is a lie. And the helicopter would circle their house while their wives were at home. Circle the house while the hooker blew them. Well, we don't know if she blew them. Yeah. That was the essential concept? Yeah, yeah. She would blow them.

I don't see why they turn her down. No, but it's very difficult to be blown in a helicopter. I've tried it. Yeah. But I think one of the writers, he said the next day he got home and his wife said, so how was your evening? And he goes,

all right. How was yours? And she goes, it was okay but a helicopter kept circling the house. I don't know this but you know who who i asked i went up i was doing like a commercial with tim conway and i went up to him and i said uh tim i heard a story about pat and without even saying mormick, Tim Conway looks up straight-faced and goes, helicopter. And I said, yeah. And he goes, yeah.

So, yeah. Well, there were only – if you think about it, the two funniest guys around at that time were Tim Conway and Pat McCormick. And Harvey Korman from Carol's show. Yes. Carol Burnett, who are well-known. And Tim was still funnier than hell because the first special I did, I had Tim on. He was just too funny to not have. But, yeah, I believe he would know.

If anybody would have known, Tim would have known, yeah. You worked with Pat on Under the Rainbow. Yes, that's right. That's where I met Janie. Yeah. Oh, okay. Your wife, who's here. We're both big fans of Billy Barty here.

These are the kind of things that come up on the show, Jeff. Even a mouse is a big fan of Billy Barty. All I guess I'm saying is that Billy was a midget. You know, Gilbert once lost a part to Billy Barty. Yes. There's some good trivia. How's that part? You were just too big? I auditioned. I auditioned

for one of the shall we say lesser Mel Brooks films called Life Stinks. And I auditioned and lost out to Billy Barty. Well, that's Mel's fault. And Mel screwed up a lot, you know? Mel is one of the funniest men who ever lived.

Yeah. Is he still alive? Anyway, he really is. I mean, there's no getting around it. But, you know, as a director or, you know, a guy who would produce or something, I think he really only should live as Mel and just forget the rest of that stuff. You know, just be Mel Brooks. It's just too funny. When you listen to the 2,000-year-old man with the eminent and great Carl Reiner as the interviewer, that's one of the great, great, funny, funny albums of all time.

Still holds up beautifully. Yeah, yeah. And you were sued by a Hollywood legend. Back to the tabloid. Yes, I have to. Carrie, well, here's what happened. I was pretty hot from, you know, SNL, and I was on that late night show with Tom Snyder as the host. Oh, the Tomorrow Show, yeah.

Okay, well, that's even better than knowing who Tom Snyder is. That's right. We assume our listeners know all these people. Yeah, he was the host of that show and a lot of people went on it, you know, because it was a well-known show after Carson. And,

you know, I had already been touted as the next Johnny Carson, the next this, the next that. And at one point, he just said, you know, I had already been touted as the next Johnny Carson, the next this, the next that. And at one point, he just said, you know, a lot of people think you're the next Cary Grant. And it took me a little bit by surprise. And I just said, well, nobody is ever going to be the next Cary Grant. And they understand he was a homo. Well, Cary heard this, of, so he played it for him.

And I'd actually heard that he might be gay or not gay. Well, with Randolph Scott, he famously lived with Randolph Scott. But so did I. Of course. Only because of the gums. But in any case, no. No, I don't know case, no. I mean – no. I don't know whether he – I suppose it is true. But I didn't even know it then. All I knew was there were rumors to that effect.

Whatever it was, it was just the wrong thing to say if the guy had happened to be litigious. It turned out that Kerry was the most litigious actor in Hollywood. And he sued me for $100,000. And, you know, for, I don't know, whatever. But so once we were in a deposition for Carrie with my lawyer doing the talking and me sitting there and I'm just looking at him thinking, God, what is the most handsome thing I've ever seen? He was just he was one. He was just, you know, and just to be around Cary Grant was a big thing. But there I was.

And my attorney said, Mr. Grant, how did you feel when when you heard Mr. Chase make that remark? And he said, I felt I wanted to sue. Talk about litigious. But that was so funny. I fell off the couch practically. And you know what? Ultimately, because I laughed at him and sort of with him, you know, he got a tenth. He got 10 grand.

He accepted 10 grand, which I didn't have 100 grand. I mean, what the hell was I going to do? And I gave him 10 grand. And didn't you say, too, when they were trying to get you to back off and not say it, and you said, well, she's a girl, isn't she? Who? When? Yeah, I think you said it. About Carrie?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I might have. But do you? No, I do. I think Snyder Carrie? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I might have. But do you? No, I do not. I think Snyder said, well, we'll edit that. Yeah.

I said, oh, don't be silly. He'll laugh. But I don't remember saying she's a girl. Do you remember those photos that the studio sent out to show what he meant, Cary Grant and Randolph Scott were? They sent out these photos where they're both in swim trunks. By the lounging. I don't know.

Yeah. I guess in retrospect I can envision it. Yeah. And they sent out these shots where they're both in swim trunks and they're wrestling and massaging each other's shoulders. Yeah, yeah. And it's supposed to show these are men. Well, they hold a medicine ball. Oh, yes, yes.

And they each have a baby, and they're suckling them. Yeah, right. I don't know. It didn't occur to me, any of that. I was glad it was over when it was. And by the way, once it was over and he got his 10 grand, I ended up going to the 84 Olympics. And Kerry was there. And he saw me and he said, Jimmy, come up and see with us.

You know, so I think, you know, that once he got paid off, everything was fine. We're friends. You know, it wasn he got paid off, everything was fine. We're friends. You know, it wasn't like it really bothered him at all. And even though Johnny was tweaked by those comparisons, you guys became friends too later. You and Johnny Carson. Yeah, good friends. Yeah. Good friends.

Carson, yeah. But what was the – it was a funny insult. The one insult Carson said about you. Oh. I think he was talking about the whole cast. I think he said – no. Was he? I think this was when I was being written about in one of the magazines and somebody said they're grooming him to be Johnny Carson.

New York magazine. New York, yeah. And which I'd never heard of anybody grooming me to be anything but it was a New York magazine article by this guy who's still on the air now

Carl Bernstein I believe at the time and anyway it said that I was being groomed to be to take over Johnny somehow it got to Johnny he did make the remark that I was being groomed to take over Johnny. Anyway, somehow it got to Johnny. Whatever. He did make the remark that I couldn't.

It's funny that I can't remember the word. I remember it. I don't know if you. Phil knows it, right? Yeah. He can't improvise himself. He wouldn't be able to improvise himself out of a paper bag or something like that? No, no.

Can I tell you? What was it? And then you'll tell it. That he couldn't ad lib a fart in a bean-eating contest. He did? Yeah. What's the paper bag thing, then? I don't know.

Yeah, he couldn't ad lib a fart in a bean-eating contest. Is that it? Yes. Here's another audition I had that I didn't get. I auditioned for the part that Sam Kinison wasn't coming back for in Caddyshack 2. And I didn't get that. Wait. Wait a minute.

Sam Kinison's in Caddyshack 2? No, no. No. He was replaced by... It was in Caddyshack 2? No, no. No. He was replaced by... It was not Caddyshack 2. Oh, wait. Oh. It was The Three Amigos.

Back to school. The Three Amigos. No, no, no, no. Well, he was supposed to... Well, he was in The Three Amigos, and we had a scene with him, but it was cut. and the Three Amigos, and we had a scene with it, but it was cut. I think what they had, I think they had Sam Kinison written in for a part in Caddyshack 2. It may well have been. Yeah.

And when Rodney refused to do it, then he didn't want to do it either. Oh. And they had me audition for that part. There's a couple of real actors, huh? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Rodney. I got things to tell you about Rodney, but yeah.

And they replaced him with the very odd Randy Quaid. So what recollections? How dare you call Randy very odd? I love him so much, Randy. I don't know what the... I'll tell you what very odd. I love him so much, Randy. I don't know what the – I'll tell you what's odd. The wife. That's what's odd. But, yeah, Randy's kind of going through a bad period right now with a beard down to his cock.

I loved how he went into hiding in Canada, and the first thing he did was hold a press conference in Canada to say, I'm hiding out in Canada. Yeah. He called me. He wanted money. He wanted to borrow some money. And that's all I'm going to say. It was a lot of money. And then, apparently, every so often he would say, I know Chevy Chase.

Like that's going to help him. But you know what? This is a delightful, delightful, funny, funny actor who seems to have taken drugs or something. I don't know what's happened to him. He never was a druggie of any kind or a drinker. But he seems like it now, doesn't he? I mean, it's a little weird when you do Rupert Murdoch getting fucked in the ass by Randy Quaid with a beard, again, down to his cock. You know, whatever has happened there, I can't answer it. I don't know. But I still have another idea for another vacation movie, which is called Swiss Family Griswold, in which we meet Randy

after thinking the ship we're on on a cruise is on fire. We jump ship. But anyway, we have to swim to an island, me and Beverly and maybe a couple of kids. It doesn't matter really, any of the kids because they're all 50. So long as they're younger than me, everything's okay. But, you know, and we find Randy. He's been left on the island. We run into him. He was left there from an old survivor, you know, that show on television. That's funny.

Yeah, and it goes on from there. But, I mean, Randy is a gem, and I hope to heck he pulls himself out of all this. It's not going to help a lot by getting Rupert angry. But on the other hand, I think Rupert just decided to retire or resign or he passed away. He's dead. No, no. Let's be honest. He's dead.

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So much stuff. Oh, he... And most... Well, The Last Detail, I agree. Yeah. The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz, the last detail. So much stuff. Oh, he – and most – Well, the last detail, I agree. Yeah. The apprenticeship of Duddy – wasn't that with – Richard Dreyfuss. With Richard.

Yeah. Yeah, he was good, yeah. And I worked with Randy Quaid in another classic film. I did like one scene with him in a horrible, I never even saw the thing. I just read the reviews. It was a horrible Rodney Dangerfield film called Back by Midnight.

Well, I forgot. Yeah, no. I don't remember. I never saw it released to any theaters. Look, since we're talking about Randy Quaid, he deserves our love and respect. He deserves everybody's, and he should be allowed to come back into this country. Yes. Pay off whatever he owes them, as if he had any money, and work again.

and work again because he's – you can't even make a good vacation movie among many others that he's been in. But without Randy, I mean people love him. By the way, it behooves the studios to say, look what he's been through. Look how much he's been on television doing this and that and the other. This is a guy. He's going to bring people to a theater much more now than he ever did. So I'd like to see that happen. Great comic actor. So long as I have, like, bodyguards.

Hey, can we talk about some movies you've turned down? Absolutely. This is like. Because it's the worst. Oh, God. It's an impressive list. All the movies that made, you know, like, oh, 100 million, you know, that kind of thing. Turn them down for what reason?

I can't remember. Well, let's see. Okay. Forrest Gump. Right. I got the book from Mark Canton at Warner's. Read it. Right. I got the book from Mark Canton at Warner's, read it, and maybe part of the actual first script. And by the way, you know, scripts with movie actors, movie stars, they change according to that.

You know, that's the way it is. So I don't remember if the script was that good or that bad. All I know is I turned it down. That made, what, 500 million? Yes. Swell. Thanks, Tommy. American Beauty.

That's true. Yeah. But where did that ever go? I don't remember who was in it, even. Oh, Kevin Spacey. Right. Now, I also heard American Gigolo. Is that correct? That's the one. I don't know where that one went. Yeah., I also heard American Gigolo. Is that correct?

That's the one. I don't know where that one went. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. American Gigolo. Was that Richard? Richard Gere, yeah.

Richard Gere, yeah. I'm glad I turned it down. And the voice of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. I don't remember that. Okay. It might be, but I don't remember. Okay, here. Ghostbusters.

Yeah. Real smart. I had a choice of, I think it was Ghostbusters or meeting Goldie and doing foul play. If it was the same. Oh, that was Animal House. Oh, it was Animal House. Okay. That's right when you turned down Animal House.

Yeah, so I decided, you know what, I've got to meet Cody and do a movie with her, which made, you know, 70 million. And that one made enough to buy Hungary. And just to clarify for the listeners, you were – the part of Otter, Tim Matheson's part was written for you. Right, right. And he later was, in fact, the bad guy in Fletch. Right. I heard you say, why would I want to work with Belushi again when I could work with Goldie Hawn? When you turned down.

That might have been what I said, yeah. Yeah. And who wouldn't say that? What else do you have in your scrolls, Bill? Yes. Those are the notes, Jimmy. That's it? That's it.

I can answer anything without it being asked. When you're starting to talk about Rodney, you said you had some... Oh, yes. I don't know. Rodney's gone, right? Yes. I spoke to Rodney, actually. He called me from the hospital two days before he died. Wow.

Isn't that something? Yeah. He said, I had two operations, you know, one in my head and one in my... I don't know what.

But we did talk and he died. But I don't know what. But we did talk and he died. But I just remember that – so I can – it's fair to do this I guess since it's your show. I have nothing to do with. That as we shot the very first scene I did in Caddyshack and I had just come off another movie, so I was about two weeks into the – it was about two weeks into the Caddyshack shooting. The other movie, by the way, was with a dog. What was that dog? Oh, Heavenly Dog.

Oh, Heavenly Dog. Yeah, that was a good move. Anyway, I came out of that, and I got there. And the first scene that I shot with him was actually the last scene in the movie on the 18th tee and then Rodney and I were driving in my golf cart back to wardrobe or whatever at the end of the day and he said so where's all the little boys? Where's the blowjobs? To this day, I don't know. I don't know what to think. I don't know.

I'll never know. I didn't answer it. I kind of laughed. We thought, wait a minute. And I mean, that was right. Oh, then there was another time. And we were all at this one place. It was just basically a golf course with that was also a motel.

That's where we shot it. And actually, Harold Ramis, who was directing it, had a roof put over the motel that made it look like it was over the house there to make it look like it was a big clubhouse. Anyway, so – and Ted Knight, who was brilliant in that and is really, to me, the great one. But Rodney – oh, yeah. It was late at night. And you can imagine that not much would go on with Bill Murray and me and Brian Doyle Murray and others, you know, at night. Anyway, I happened to be actually in bed when they knocked on my door. And it was, hey, Chevy. That's Brian.

Yeah. And Bill. You have any Coke? No. And I from my bed. No, I don't. You have any pot? No.

Nope. Sleeping. Try Rodney's next door. And so they went next door and knocked on his door. Hey, Rodney. What, what? Yeah, yeah. What?

Can we come in? We're looking for some, you have any Coke? No, I don't. You have any pot? Yeah, yeah don't. You have any pot? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. See that bag in front of you? And there was a big paper bag that was fairly heavy.

Not a big one. I mean, it was, you know, big enough to carry, let's say, a baby's head. Anyway, about that big. And he said, take that. It's all my pot. Take it. Enjoy. So they took it and they left. And it turned out that that bag contained nothing but seeds. It was just all pot seeds. There wasn't even a smidgen of actual smokable pot in it. It was just filled with pot seeds as if he'd been waiting for somebody to ask him. He wasn't going to give his away, that's for sure. Oh, my.

Strange man. And you worked with another legend in the Las Vegas vacation movie. Sid. Sid, yes Vegas vacation movie. Sid. Sid, yes. Sid Caesar. Yeah. Sid, I had to visit with Sid in his room at the Steve Wynn's Mirage Hotel, is it? I think that's where we were shooting, the Mirage Hotel.

I had a meeting with him. I think he was a little nervous about dying actually in the film. Oh, yeah. You know, that playing, a guy who died. He tried to explain to me that Jews don't die in movies because it can come true, you know. For some reason, Sid really believed that. I mean, when you think of all the incredible things that Sid Seeger has done in your life, you wonder what happened

to him that they would think something so idiotic. He believed Jews didn't die? He believed that all Jews knew this. I, not having been a Jew yet, I didn't realize, but I took his word.

So he said, you know, I mean, I'm supposed to have a heart attack and the thing and then die? I said, okay, okay, okay. But you've got to have the heart attack. We have to put you in a box, you know, drag you out. He said, well, you know, we don't die. We didn't keep your eyes open, you know, whatever. Well, okay, we don't die. We didn't keep your eyes open, you know, whatever. You know, well, okay, we don't die. And so we got to that shot in the movie, and he had his heart attack, which he did quite well, as I remember.

I mean, it is a seizure. And he's put in a box. I can't even remember the sand. I haven't seen it since we shot it. But in any case, as he died, he was actually sitting in a chair next to me. And he died and his head went down. His eyes closed. And before the camera left him, he opened his eyes. And looked around a little bit.

Just to let everybody know he didn't really die. You couldn't get away from it. Even as he was dragged out, I believe, in the movie, in the box, he'd opened his one eye or something just to keep making sure he didn't die. Since we're talking about Sid, what about you worked with Imogene, too, in the first vacation movie. Oh, Imogene, yes. She's a lovely, lovely lady. And by then it was not the same one who had worked with Sid. Sure.

But, I mean, you could see why they had. I mean she – you could do anything to her. She was the Gilda of her time. And just as John was able to just slap Gilda in the face, Gilda would take it as, oh, okay, I understand. You know. Anything for comedy. Imogene would take anything from Sid or, you know, whatever.

So she was the perfect Aunt Edna in that movie. And I think she overplayed it a little. You know, all that. But that was the way she was and whatever she did, it was fine with me. And yeah. Can we ask you about Eddie Bracken in that movie too? Eddie.

Another great screen legend. Eddie Bracken was a great screen legend. And the very first ending of the movie, Vacation, the first Vacation where we're all going to Wally World and it's closed. Harold Ramis is directing it. We are forced to sort of drive to – because I have a whole family filled and we shot the thing driving cross-country from Chicago. So the thing was let's go over to Roy Wally from Wally World, his house, because I'm just that angry, you know.

And we went over and there was Eddie back and on his porch. And I think we shot it so that we forced him to dance for us, do a tap dance or something idiotic. And I – the best of my recollection, Harold and I looked at that back and thought, well, it really just isn't going to work. We're going to have to go to Wally World. We got John Candy and we went through the whole thing and then Eddie Bracken came at the end. But he was a marvelous man. back and came at the end.

But he was a marvelous man. And one of the things that had happened was that by the last couple of days of shooting, there was that huge rollercoaster at it wasn't Wally World, it was for

the four seasons. What the fuck was it? You know. Six Flags? Six Flags. Thank you. The four seasons. What the fuck was it? Six Flags? Six Flags. Thank you. The four seasons. Six Flags. That would be it. I'll have the Marlin. No.

Six Flags. Six Flags. And so we're there and we're on this roller coaster. Me and John Candy next to me, which scared the shit out of me because we were in the first car. And then in front of that was a camera weighing as much as John shooting us. And I'm thinking, well, I'm dead. I mean, how is it ever going to get up? But it worked.

It was OK. And then we shot it. We had to shoot it with John behind me and this and that. And Eddie's turn, because he was Roy Wally, had to get on that thing with me, sitting with me. And as we were going up that slow climb to the first, you know, real fall, I explained to him that I want to make sure you understand that it looks like it's a 90 degree drop and it can be frightening and I want you to

understand that. I don't want anything to Oh, are you kidding? I've done so many. I mean, it's just nothing to me. Okay, just so you know, because I don't want to why should we do it three or four times until you get used to it? I mean, just, you know.

Anyway, we get up there. As we get to the top and now look down and start the plummet, he goes, oh, fuck. And so you can see it in the wide shot. I don't think we did it again. But you can see it in the wide shot. When you wanted the close-up, you could see it in a wide shot of us. I don't know, but you could just see him go, oh, fuck, or whatever. Oh, my goodness.

He's so great in those Sturgis movies, too. He's so great, Eddie Bracken, in those Preston Sturgis movies. He did such great stuff. Yeah, sure he is. Yeah. Who's Preston Sturgis? Okay. Sergeant Preston Sturgis.

One more. I've got to ask you about is Gilbert's favorite that you were in foul play with, Burgess Meredith. Burgess. Gilbert loves Burgess Meredith. Burgess. Gilbert loves Burgess Meredith. You know what? I do too. And I don't know anybody who didn't. He's a close friend of my closest friend because of his love of wines, different French wines, et cetera, et cetera.

But he's just a sweet man and good. et cetera, et cetera. But he's just a sweet man and good. And, you know, he's one of the forgotten in a sense, you know. It's like it's not an easy name to remember. I mean Meredith you can remember. Unfortunately, you've got Vieira at the end of it. But, you know, Burgess?

You know, Burgess Bumblebee, Burgess Bambo, you know, you don't. So he's kind of forgotten. But if you look back and think of him in, wasn't he in Batman or whatever? Yeah. And one of my favorite films of Mice and Men. Yes. Where I, with him and Lon Chaney Jr. He was George. Yeah.

And Lenny. But he never gave a quote about Lon Chaney Jr. to Ron Chaney, so I've lost some of my love for Burgess. Well, he was old at the time. Yeah, well, I hope he died painfully then. Yeah, it's like Michael O'Donnell. May you all die screaming from painful rectal cancer. Oh, that's it, yeah. It's like Michael O'Donnell. Now, Frank. May you all die screaming from painful rectal cancer. And Frank and I were discussing how you worked with the Munchkins.

Well, that's where I met my wife, who was shacked up with the Munchkins, all of them. No, it was called Under the Rainbow, and therefore it was not a good movie, but it required 150 little people, as they like to be called, and insist on. And they are. And we had, I mean, about 100-something of them, and they were living in a hotel right next to the stage where we shot. Out there, they call them stages. right next to the stage where we shot. Out there, they call them sages.

And apparently, they were just dead drunk every night, you know, snorting coke. They don't have long to live. Their livers are getting as big as they are. So, you know, this is the way they are. They were funny. When I had to be in a whole – in this hotel lobby with them, with Eve Arden, which is enough already. You know, they would fart on me. They'd spit.

They'd goose me. A lot of them goose me. Wow. Hey, Jeffy. Yeah. A lot of them goose me. Wow. Hey, check me. Yeah. You know. Yeah. They were just a motley group of people.

There's only one of them still living. I don't know who it is. Jerry Marin. He's the last surviving. I don't think he's alive anymore. Oh, I think he is. In the original Wizard of Oz, according to legend. We had a few of the original munchkins, yeah.

Yeah. In the original Wizard of Oz, according to Hollywood legend, at least, you could see in the background that one of the munchkins hung himself in the tree. That's a legend, right? Yeah. That's a Hollywood myth. Yeah. That's a lesson. That's a Hollywood myth. Yeah, but... That's outrageous.

And they say in one scene you could see his little body hanging from a noose from the tree. This isn't right. They do carry weapons. You better be careful. Since you mentioned Michael O'Donoghue, can you just tell us a little something about – we've talked about him a little bit on the show. He was the most anal, retentive Irish Catholic I've ever known.

I loved him deeply and we worked together and we actually went and saw the opening of Star Trek together. I mean of Star Wars. Oh, Star Wars. The movie, yeah. And other things. He lived down on 23 East 16th Street. I'll never forget that because I used to hang around with him all the time. Because I used to hang around with him all the time.

Later on, Buck Henry wrote some article in The New Yorker claiming, quote, we all know how much Michael loved Lauren and Chevy. And boy, I was upset by that because I know how much I loved Michael and he liked me. So there you have it. But the fact of the matter is Buck will get over it and so will I. And that's the end of that. And so that's the end of that. But Michael, he gave me as a Christmas present the first year of SNL, the fist fuckers manual. I never heard of it or seen it. I never heard – didn't know people did that.

Of course they were homosexual. They were gay guys but I didn't realize that that was a comfortable way of replacing a woman I didn't know what the hell that was about but that was what he gave me so I mean he was just so god damn funny all the time but being so

anal retentive he had in his little office which we all had a little office of an SNL he had a chalkboard. Not a chalkboard. What do you put pins in it? Oh, yeah, a bullet board. Yeah, a board.

Anyway, and he would put ideas up there and they would be in uppercase perfectly written by him. uppercase perfectly written by him and just a line about an inch or so from the edge just goes straight down. And I would go in there when he wasn't around and move them about a half an inch to the right, still straight down, but just enough so that when he walked in the room or sat and looked up, something wasn't right, you know, until it got about two inches away. And then he knew the jig's up. Something's going on here. I didn't move.

I didn't. I put him an inch away. That's the way it is. So I loved playing little sort of tricks on Michael. And he was just a delight. You know, he could hate you with great love. A genius, really. Comedy genius.

Absolutely. Absolutely a genius. A great writer. I have some stuff of his that's prose writing. I have a letter from him to the Los Angeles Herald which was a response to a bad review of the first Saturday Night Live, like second year or third year or fourth year, which had apparently included his name as a writer.

And he hadn't been writing for it for a couple of years. And I just can tell you that at the beginning of the letter, it began, listen, Dick Watt, instead of, you know, dear sirs, listen, Dick Watt. He made two mistakes. I know somewhere down in the end of the letter, like your second mistake before you pulled the donkey prick out of your mouth or something. I don't know. It's just unbelievable. And then he ended the letter with, blow me, Michael O'Donohue. And that was his letter to the

Herald Examiner. And it was just brilliant writing. And I have it framed. And I'll show it when I can. That's great. There's a copy of the screenplay you guys wrote together, the Planet of the Cheap Special Effects. Oh, Planet of the Cheap Special Effects.

Does that exist? There is a copy. It's about 300 pages. We never quite finished, and I owed a couple of sketches or things to it because, in fact, we had a long previews of coming attractions in there. Blind Bikers was one of mine and which you see – it's a preview of these – and these bikers are going – so it's like shot from a helicopter or something. There's about 20 bikers on a highway that – in the desert And then the highway sort of veers to the right,

and they just keep going into the sand because they're blind. You know, it's just blind bikers coming to a theater near you. You know, just shit like that, just funny, outrageous stuff. And, yeah, but we just never really finished it. He was involved in so many intriguing projects that never saw the light. I don't know. I guess he was. I don't know. That's one of them. Yeah.

He's the guy who came up with, we'll shoot this dog if you don't buy this magazine. That was for the National Lampoon. Yes. That was a classic. We'll shoot this dog if you don't buy this magazine. I was always fond of Mike Douglas sticking 12 foot

knitting needles in his eyes. That was the guy. Finally came up with it. And we had talked about it. But he felt that there's the guy. That's the guy you want to take 12 inch knitting needles and stick plummet them into his eyes.

I think it might go something like this. He's an impressionist. Yeah, like Rich Little. And so he then falls to the ground and screams like just exactly what you would expect. Terrible, awful screams, banging around. And he cut his hands up. He cut his head up, everything. I mean, he was really bleeding from this

but he got it as good as you can get it i think if i go something like this you know he turns his back and then suddenly brilliant jesus christ so yeah he was brilliant and one with the mormon tabernacle choir he would recycle it with different people getting the needles. Now, I'm supposed to ask you. Yeah. That you actually, in the movie, the aristocrats, they came to you and you actually recorded an aristocrat, you telling the aristocrats. I don't know if I recorded that. All I know is that nobody told it better than me. I told it in college.

Yeah. I don't know if I recorded that. All I know is that nobody told it better than me. I told it in college. Yeah. I don't know why I wasn't in it or was in it or anything else. All I know is I told that. I can still tell the aristocrats.

The whole point of the aristocrat joke is A, it's got to be around five minutes. B, it's got to end with we call ourselves the aristocrats. And C, you can't repeat yourself. Yeah. It's, you know, so this guy goes up to a booking agent and he says, I got a great act for you to book. And he says, oh yeah, tell me about it. And he says, well, it's a family act. Well, it's great. We love family acts.

So, what's happening? Well, I come out on the stage and I take my clothes off and I come all over the audience. It just starts like, you know, just like that. And then you've got to just keep going as fast as you can. You know, I take my clothes off and I come all over the audience. It just starts like, you know, just like that. And then you've got to just keep going as fast as you can. You know, I'm jerking off. And my daughter comes out. She's nine years old.

I just said, buddy. And she comes out and I fuck her in the ass. It just gets so outrageously over the top, you know, and you've got to keep going and you can't stop for five minutes and you've got to do the most offensive stuff you can come up with. But it's a family act. Don't forget. And then our dog, Tuffy, comes out, you know, whatever, you know, and also fucks my daughter in the ass. You know, it's just hideous.

You know, my wife, she's gorgeous. She comes out with our baby and I blow the baby. It's just stuff. I can't remember. It's been so long. But it's just how offensive can you get with a joke? Yeah. That's what it is.

And you could tell a busload of nuns that joke, and I swear to God they'd be in the stairs. They'd be wet in their pants if you do it well. Yeah. Yeah, I told that joke at the Ufn roast oh you did yeah when i had gotten in trouble making a september 11th joke oh i figured why not lose them all the way that reminds me of one thing that happened when uh oh who was mike eisner remember the head, the head of all the studios at Disney? There was a huge luncheon for Mike and there was also a dais where a certain like ten people would speak on his behalf.

And the rest of the place was like thousands around tables. And the rest of the place was like thousands around tables. And it was a whole thing. Before I was to speak, Johnny Carson came out and spoke. Got off his seat and came up and spoke. He did five minutes just clean without any writing, with nothing. And I'm thinking, oh, my God, this guy's – I mean, he wants to be funny and I knew – we became great friends. But I mean he just was very funny.

And then I was called up and I remember this clearly because it got Johnny off his seat. Eisner is just sitting right there next to the lectern that I'm speaking from. And I go up and I said, well, I got shit. And there's a little sort of chuckling in the audience. And I turn to Michael Eisenberg and I go, can I piss in your mouth? I didn't ever mean to. I got Johnny so bad.

I got the whole fucking place. Can I piss in your mouth? That would be my speech, you know? Can I piss in your mouth? That's my kind of place. I'm out of stuff. You want to rap? Yeah.

I'm under arrest. Do you want to rap? Well, no. I know that I almost forgot one thing. Go for it, brother. Uh-oh. Because he's starting foul play. Yes.

Who's? You starting foul play. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And I got to sing on every show. Oh, he memorizes theme songs from movies. Well, see, this one is like was a hit.

So it's not as. Oh, give me a break. It was? What was it? Yeah. And I'm ready to take a chance again. Ready to put my love on the line with you. Oh, boy.

You're living with nothing to show for it. You get what you get when you go for it. Oh, Jesus. And you're ready to take a chance

again. He does it every week. Ready to take a chance again. She does it every week. Ready to take a chance again with you. We never found out what she was taking a chance again of. Yeah.

Her former lover or husband or whatever never came up. So we don't know what the hell that was about. But yeah. Next time we do, I'm going to ask you about George Roy Hill and Michael Ritchie and some of the other legends you worked with. I I'm going to ask you about George Roy Hill and Michael Ritchie and some of the other great legends you've worked with. I'd love to talk to you about George Roy Hill because I think he was an absolute genius and made the best movie I made, which was funny for him.

Yeah, it's a good movie. Yeah, he was wonderful. And Michael Ritchie gave me the chance to just wing the Fletches. I mean, just wing it. You know, just go. Okay, go. You're going from there to a door. And one thing we had on our show. I mean, just wing it. You know, just go. Okay, go. You're going from there to a door.

And one thing we had on our show, the creator of this show, and I liked what he said. I mean, it was in the news. There was trouble between you and Dan Harmon with that show Community. Yeah. But I— That was not much of anything, really. Dan and I became friends immediately after that. Yeah, but Dan did say that, like, you were getting a lot of flack, and Dan said that he was a bit of an asshole himself at that time.

Yeah, yeah. And so he defended you as far as... I suppose. I can't even remember what it was about, frankly. I just don't remember. Yeah, yeah. And so he defended you as far as... I suppose. I can't even remember what it was about, frankly. I just don't remember. Yeah. But there weren't any fisticuffs or anything. I don't remember exactly what it was about in retrospect.

And so I guess now we can... So I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre at Nutmeg Post. And we've been talking to someone who you're not, Chevy Chase. Oh, that's what I wanted to ask you. Did that come from Roger Grimsby, a local – was that a bit of a takeoff on a local anchor?

I guess we're starting again then. No, it was just the last – All right. We're just going to start now. No, let's start. I'm ready. We've got an hour. Well, that other thing was a warm-up.

It did because Roger Grimsby was a Channel 5 news guy, but he'd always say, I'm Roger Grimsby, and here now the news. That's right. First of all, and here now the news is one of the oddest. It's odd. But I said and and had nowhere to go. So I just said, and you're not. I think I may have done it maybe twice the whole goddamn time. People remember that as, well, that's the way he opened it all the time.

But that's just not true. I had many things, different things I did. But the fact is I didn't know what else to say. So I'm Chevy Chase and you're not. I didn't know. And didn't you at one time, they would always do those things on the news where it would be you were on the phone. Yes. That's why I had a phone on my desk.

where it would be you were on the phone. Yes, that's why I had a phone on my desk. I said to Lauren, I got to have a phone because nobody ever on any news broadcast with the exception of Walter Cronkite when Kennedy was killed is on a phone. But it's always on a desk next to a, you know, and I have to have one. And I'd like to be on the phone

when they say in now weekend update. So I had the phone one, and I like to be on the phone when they say, and now weekend update. So I had the phone, and I'd pretend I was talking to some girlfriend or something. And I love it when you say, oh, hello, I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not, you know, whatever. I remember there was one line I remember you saying where you said, no, you're the one who pulls the pearls out. It sounds to me like O'Donoghue gave me that. It probably was Michael. We asked Alan Zweibel about that great joke when Professor Backwards was murdered. The neighbors ignored the cries.

Pla, pla. Pla, pla. The update had so much bite then. There was so much. Idi Amin is pulling out of Angola. Pla, pla. Another one. What?

Idi Amin has announced he's pulling out of Angola. Oh, yeah. Remember that one? I sort of do. Herb Sargent. I do remember having – we were right at the end of 1975 going into 1976 when we started. And we were like doing our end of 1975 show, whatever. I said, well, 1976 is upon us today. But what about

you know 1975 let's take a look back shall we and I had on the blue screen behind me it just said 1975 you know because this is going to be a story about let's take a look back and I just turned around and looked back at it briefly

and then came back and didn't know the story I got huge laughs for that it was that simple kind of physical humor that i loved and that i still love because i i'm not a jokester i've never done stand-up comedy i've never uh been in a second city type thing or any of that. But I come from a funny background. I'm a funny dad and whatnot. And I love physical comedy. I mean, Chaplin and Keaton and those guys. But on and on, you know.

So that was... Oh, I almost forgot to ask you about Milton Berle when he hosted the show. I don't think... Was it Milton? You weren't on it? I think Chevy was gone by the time it was season two. No, I was hosted the show. I don't think Chevy. Was it Milton? You weren't on it? I think Chevy was gone by season two. No, I was in the hospital. Oh!

No, but you mean Desi Arnaz. Oh, Desi Arnaz. Desi Arnaz was on. Yeah. And, you know, he was doing Babaloo with our band. Oh, yeah. You know. And they were rehearsing.

It was like on a Thursday in the afternoon. And I just happened to be sitting in 8-H watching this rehearsal. And he would get angry at the band. No, no, no. That's not right. No, no, no, no. That's not what we do. No, no.

You do it. You come in the second. Next time when you, you know. And he's yelling at Howard Shore, one of the sweetest men in the world. You know, and screaming and yelling. And I got up from my seat finally and I went over and I took him by the upper arm, but a little

tight, you know. Yeah, it might hurt. And took him aside. I said, excuse me, Desi. And took him aside, you know, like this. We don't talk to the band that way. We don't? No He said, we don't talk to the band that way. We don't? No?

No, we don't. Okay. And he was nice to them after that. We'll ask you about Miltie next time. And now this is the show that's going to have two endings. It's already a two-parter. Yeah, it is. Can I put my clothes back on?

I'm sorry. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has once again been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre here at Nutmeg Post. Thank you, Frank Verderosa.

And here with our friend and great comic actor. Boy, thanks for having me. Chevy Chase. Let me tell you about the. You'll never get out of this. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thanks, Chevy.

When she left me in all my despair. I just held on. My thoughts were all gone till I found you there. I'm ready to take a chance. Ready to take a chance again. Okay, I'll be back tomorrow night. See you at the cigarette. Bye. Yeah, yeah, thanks.

You dork. You dork.