Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Barry Sonnenfeld Encore

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

GGACP celebrates the 25th anniversary of the original "Men in Black" (released July 2, 1997) with this ENCORE of a hilarious, uncensored 2020 conversation with award-winning director and producer BARRY SONNENFELD. In this episode, Barry talks about directing temperamental actors, distrusting optimism, respecting movie audiences, helming "The Addams Family" and "Get Shorty" and writing his bestselling memoir, "Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother." Also, George C. Scott pushes the envelope, Gene Hackman grows a goatee, Barry and Larry David compare neuroses and Michael Jackson cameos in "Men in Black II." PLUS: "Throw Momma from the Train"! In praise of Dennis Farina! The obsessiveness of Stanley Kubrick! The many conquests of James Caan! And Barry shares his rules for staging comedy scenes! (Special thanks to Alan Zweibel and John Murray!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try the new creamy parmesan and bacon Quarter P pounder today and discover how words are so unnecessary for a limited time only at participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And our guest this week is a producer, author, occasional actor, widely acclaimed cinematographer, Emmy-winning TV director, and widely acclaimed film director. He served as cinematographer and director of photography on some of the most admired films of the last 40 years,

including Blood Simple, Big, Raising Arizona, Throw Mama from the Train, Miller's Crossing, When Harry Met Sally, and Misery. He would go on there to direct the popular features, The Addams Family. Addams Family values Men in Black, Men in Black 2, Men in Black 3, Wild Wild West, Big Trouble, RV and Get Shorty. He's also served as a producer and executive producer on the films out of sight enchanted the lady killers on lemony snickets a series of unfortunate events and on tv programs such as the tick

fantasy island a series of unfortunate incidents. Events. Where are you getting that? A series of unfortunate events, Pushing Daisies, for which he was awarded an Emmy for Best Directing of a Comedy Series. In a career that started way back when he purchased a used 16 millimeter movie

camera, he's gone on to work with Tom Hanks, Tommy Lee Jones, the Coen brothers, Gene Hackman, John Travolta, Rob Reiner, Will Smith, Albert Finney, and Robin Williams, as well as our podcast guests, Rick Baker, Carol Kane, and Emmett Walsh. His new memoir, and it's a good one, his new memoir is called Barry Suddenfeld Call Your Mother, Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker. Please welcome to the show an artist of many talents and a man who says his life's motto is live in fear. The very funny Barry Seidenfeld. Hi, Gilbert.

I think we're out of time. Yeah. The intros are always ridiculously long, Barry. It's sort of like this is your life without Ralph Edwards. You know, the other thing I have to say, Gilbert, is congratulations. I can't imagine someone with a voice that you wouldn't think would end up on a podcast or radio. It's truly amazing. The mellifluous tones. Before I get to the only thing I really want to talk about with you, porn films.

Sure. Could you tell us the story of how the title of the book came about? Sure. Well, as we now know, the name of the book is called Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother. A lot of people think it's called just called Call Your Mother, but because on the book jacket, there's a different color for Barry Sonnenfeld. Yeah, throw it off. I admit it's confusing. But in any case, in early 1970, I was 17 years old, and I was at Madison Square Garden with my girlfriend. I was a senior in high school, and it was 2.20 in the morning, and we were at the first peace concert. You know, there were Jimi Hendrix and Peter, Paul and Mary and the cast of Hair,

all these people and 19,600 people in the audience. And at 2.20 in the morning, while Jimi Hendrix was warming up over the PA system, came the following announcement. Barry Sonnenfeld, call your mother. So that's where the title comes from. Of course, I assumed that my father had died because how else could someone convince anyone at the garden to take it through all the layers of people to get to the announcer at the garden who would be willing to make that announcement so quite a feat but by the time i got to the pay phone i was weeping uncontrollably i assumed my father was dead my mother assumed i was dead because I was supposed to be home at two and it was now to 20. Over protective, do you think?

You said somewhere in an interview that you think it may you may have played a small role in Jimi Hendrix death. Not me, my mother. Yeah, no, no. He died a few months later and he disbanded. It was the last performance he gave. He disbanded the group. He gave an audience a interview to Rolling Stone magazine saying it was a perfect ending to his relationship with his band breaking up at Madison Square Garden. So, yeah, I think my mom may have killed Jimi Hendrix.

And to make the story even more embarrassing, wasn't the audience chanting? Well, yeah, you know, the garden has an amazing, amazing audience. And as soon as the announcement came on, Barry Sonnenfeld, call your mother. It started in the blue seats. Those are the cheap seats up where I was because I stood up, therefore announcing to everyone I am Barry Sonnenfeld, the chant of Barry, Barry. Barry. Normally it's like defense, defense, you know, when we were at those great Nick games. But now they're chanting Barry. And I don't know if the chanting got down to the garden floor or not. But Jimmy stormed off. He did about a song and a quarter and left. So thanks, mom. Hilarious. To say that you were an overprotected child, I guess, Barry, would be an understatement.

It's one of the biggest parts of the book. Yeah. You know, my mother said that if I went away to sleep away school, others call it college, she would commit suicide. You would commit suicide. So I spent two starts. So I spent three years living at home in Washington Heights, attending a horrible school. And why you used to have a campus in the Bronx called called University Heights. And I would go there only three days a week. I only took political science classes because they met Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. So I could take classes from nine to two and then leave. It was like going to day camp. There was no dorms there or anything like that. And then when I was going to be a senior, NYU sold the campus and they said everyone has to go downtown.

I refused. So they said, all right, go to any college you want. Transfer the credits back to NYU and we'll give you a degree so I thought this is great I get to leave home as a senior and as a bonus my mother commits suicide two birds one stone this is fantastic so I spent my senior year at Hampshire College. My mother, unfortunately, reneged and remained alive. But eventually she died. So it's not all bad news.

Hampshire College in the Berkshires, where Gilbert is right now. Really? Are you anywhere near Springfield, Mass? Yes. There you go. Well, Hampshire was up at... I like that your wife in the background had to tell you if you were near Mass. He doesn't know what state he's in. You know, Barry,

we're New Yorkers. Gilbert's from Coney Island. I'm from Queens. I'm shocked. Yeah, I know. Reading about punch ball and stick ball and going to Yankee games and that, you know, that kind of childhood is something we can relate to. We've talked about it on the show. Gilbert, can you relate to any of Barry's upbringing, though, in terms of overprotective parents or neurosis? I know you're all about fear.

Yeah, definitely fear. Ah. Roses, I know you're all about fear. Yeah, definitely fear. Well, let me give you some advice. And I know you embrace this, Gilbert. There's no upside to being an optimist. The only upside is pessimism. And I'll explain to you why. If you get on an airplane and you elbow the person next to you, remember when people used to fly on airplanes?

Yes. And if you say, this plane is going to crash before we get to Cleveland, it's a win-win. If the plane starts nosediving to the ground, you get to elbow your mate and say, am I right or what? And if it doesn't crash, you live. It's only upside. So if you embrace pessimism and fear, you're a smart, healthy guy. I think you're talking to the right guy.

I think it was Jerry Lewis's father who said to him something like, always see the bad side and you'll never be disappointed. No, exactly. Absolutely. Hey, speaking of growing up in New York, did you guys call it a Spaldeen or a Spalding? Oh, that's a good question. Spaldeen. We called it a Spaldeen, too.

Yeah, we called it a Spaldeen, but it's not spelt that way. Rob Reiner, who grew up in New Rochelle, called it a spaldine but it's not spelt that way rob reiner who grew up a newer shell calls it us called it a spaldine did you guys ever play scully that's the game with the bottle cap oh yeah you'd fill the caps with the wax the melted wax of course i used Hanukkah candles I had the most colorful scully caps. I also filled some of them because you could trade them out. So some of them I had with that green clay that you got in elementary school that always went under your nails. Yes, sure. I would sometimes I put clay in there because if I thought someone who was going to knock me out of a box,

I'd turn my bottle cap upside down and the clay would stick to the pavement. So when they hit my bottle cap, their cap would bounce off, but mine would stay in place. I was a genius. That's a lot of ingenuity. Gilbert, what are you most afraid of? I know you're a worrier. I mean, Barry doesn't like to fly, but you've kind of made peace with that over the years, haven't you? Yeah. I was never scared to fly so much as everything around it. Packing my bags, getting to the airport, being on the right flight. Sometimes I'm on a flight and I'm thinking,

uh-oh, should I ask someone if this is the flight to California or am I going somewhere else? You know what I love about this podcast so far? Although we're doing it on Zoom so we can see each other, although no one else will see this no the entire time gilbert speaks i get to see his wife in the background sort of shaking her head no or not in agreement yeah i know so much about you gilbert just watching your wife who's got some sort of salad that she's working on uh and she's sucking it so she doesn't make any sound but it's

just extraordinary watching gilbert and his wife i know everything about their relationship that's it that's it what yeah some sometimes when someone asks me like what grades are your children in? I have to ask her. You could tell me they graduated college or they started kindergarten. I don't know. No, I love it. I have a feeling that she occasionally says to you, you're going to wear that tie? She's nodding, by the way, just for those that don't have video. She's nodding. Your wife emerges, your wife, sweetie, emerges as a pretty prominent character throughout the

book, Barry. And it's rather touching what partners you guys are, you know, how she helps you make decisions, how she's sort of a rudder for you. It's kind of moving. decisions, how she's she's sort of a rudder for you. It's it's kind of moving. Oh, no, she's definitely a rudder and a motor. No, she's great. And, you know, I say in the book, if if if I had never met Sweetie, I think I'd still be living at home with my deceased mother, who would be, you know, my father actually asked us if he could be taxidermied he wanted to be taxidermied and left in his chair and we explained we explained to dad that that it's illegal to taxidermy a human but no sweetie's the best uh so I would be with taxidermied dad and shriveling dead for 30 years mother if it weren't for meeting sweetie. She's she's extraordinary and she's everything. I'm not. She's optimistic. She's calm. You know, she loves getting on airplanes. She loves flying. Very different than me. And by the way, Gilbert, I'll come over to your place and pack for you anytime you want. I live for packing. I will get you to the airport so early you'll make earlier flights. I'll change your life.

Wow. Gil, you've got to take him up on that. Oh, and I can honestly say I was in a Barry Sodenfeld film because in a series of unfortunate events, I did the quacking sounds of a duck. Did you? Yes. There's one sound where a duck is

walking around and they hired me to do the quacking sounds. I still get residual checks for it. Wow. Well, go on, please. I was going to say, did you never audition for Barry in all your

travels, Gilbert? I don't believe so. I don't know how that happened because your voice is so, as you know, so wonderfully specific. Do you do a lot of commercials? Oh, yeah, he does. Yeah. Commercials, cartoons. Right. Barry, did you have a did you get in a shouting match with Larry David to see which of you was more neurotic? Oh, no, we already knew who was more neurotic. What happened was I knew Larry a little bit, not a lot. He used to be at some of the same parties at Rob Reiner's house. We're both friends of Rob and both larry and i have worked

with cheryl hines multiple times obviously cheryl plays larry's wife and she was in rv and an animated show i don't know how i didn't hire you for the animated show uh gilbert but in any case um both larry and i asked cheryl who was more neurotic, me or Larry, and she refused to answer because she knew whoever was not the most neurotic would feel totally defeated, you know, because you don't want to come in second place in neurosis. So eventually, Cheryl was on the David Letterman show and said that I was the most neurotic person she had ever met. And next thing you know, months later, I'm eating breakfast in the power breakfast room in New York at the Lowe's Regency Hotel. Donald Trump is there. This is years before he was president. Barry Diller. And from across the room, I hear Larry David's voice, which is as distinctive as Gilbert's, screaming, Sonnenfeld, you say you're the most neurotic

person, and there you are eating eggs with yolks, putting butter on your bread, and eating bacon, bread and eating bacon. And I yell out crispy bacon across the room. So, uh, uh, yeah. So, uh, I, I won and I am the most neurotic person Cheryl Hines has ever met. And that includes Larry David. So I'm pretty proud of that. I love it. And now we have to get, of course, my favorite topic, porn. You started out in porn films. So, Gilbert, before we proceed. Subtle guilt. How how graphic do you want me to be on this? As much as you possibly can. We can cut it, Barry.

We can always edit it down. Say anything you want. And your wife is going to stay in the room and shake her head negatively as I speak. Maybe put a little soft edges on it. Soft edges is... You never want to use the word soft when talking about porn very good very good all right so i got out of film and this is an important lesson for people i think

besides that you don't want to ever release porn to its-vision. But in any case, when I got out of film school, I decided I could be a cinematographer. I could be a cameraman. But I felt that in order to call myself a cameraman without feeling like a dilettante, I should own a camera. And this is like decades before video. So there was 16 millimeter, which was low budget and 35 millimeter. So a buddy and I bought a used 16 millimeter camera because we felt if we owned a camera, we could call ourselves a cameraman. And the first job we got was shooting nine feature length pornos in nine days but the camera rental on those nine days paid for two thirds of what we paid for the whole camera so we were already two thirds there plus we got a salary but here's the thing the producer director dick uh was incapable of finding a, an erotic way to shoot anything.

We were the only porn studio that actually had a standing set. That was a dentist's office because he thought, and by the way, you know, Mr. Thirsty, the thing that goes in your mouth, it's,

it's a, it's a sucker. It's not a pulse so i don't know what he was intending to do with any of those devices in any case uh we shot on a in a loft on 17th and 5th we built all these sets and i'm gonna cut to the chase gilbert on the last day, we shot a double insertion. Some call it a double penetration, which is a man in a woman's ass and a man in a woman's vagina at the same time. The actress who was hired doesn't show up. So Dick goes to Barney's, which is at 17th and 7th, and finds a woman tailor and says, hey, you're kind of pretty. Would you like to act in a porno? And she says, sure.

So now we have a tailor at Barney's being fucked in the ass and in her vagina at the same time. But Dick, being the most un-erotic filmmaker there is, figures out that this is a way to shoot a double insertion. He takes a leaf out of a dining room table, but leaves that space open. So this woman is lying on the dining room table, and she's got a, so her ass is sort of sway back, hanging in that leaf area. So you've got a man fucking her on top of the table,

his knees on the table, fucking her in her vagina, while Mark Antony is trying to fuck her in her ass her ass sort of sticking out underneath the table so he's doing pull-ups he's got his arms wrapped around the table his legs wrapped around it and he's trying to do these pull-ups and keep his dick in her ass, which isn't working out. So we put pillows underneath him and the pillows keep slipping. So we build a perimeter with wood to keep the pillows in. Anyway, the thing about this is that Taylor from Barney's is thrilled and delighted to such an extent that the man in her vagina says, I'm ready to come, which is amazing. It usually takes an average of four hours to get a cum shot. So he says, I'm ready. We get in there. Bob with the CP 16. I had a bolex with a wide angle lens because if you're close and wide, you really make a penis seem really big, bigger than life.

So anyway, the guy in her vagina comes right away. This is amazing. We're ahead of schedule. And now Dick Mark Anthony says, I can't do any more pull ups. Now Dick, Mark Anthony says, I can't do any more pull-ups. And so, and Mandy, we had a crew person called Mandy, the paper towel girl. Her job was cleaning up messes. Okay. So, and Mandy keeps putting Mark Anthony's dick back into the woman's ass because he's upside down.

So anyway, the guy in the vagina comes so now dick says all right let's close up the table let's keep fucking on the table but now your action so she's on her hands and knees mark anthony is fucking her in her anus and once again thrilled and delighted mark anthony says i'm ready to come again, four hours ahead of schedule. I get in incredibly close with my Folex with a 10 millimeter F 1.6 sweet tar lens mark. And I'm maybe eight inches from her anus and his penis. And Mark Anthony pulls out of her rectum. And it turns out that basically her insides were as if a bottle of warm champagne that had been shaken for 20 minutes. So when he pulls out a fountain of warm, liquefied, loamy human excrement shoots out and covers me, covers me,

because I'm right there in an excrata. So what do I do? I put my camera down. Oh, my camera down. Oh, your wife has just left the room. I put the camera down and then vomit all over her ass. Storm off the set, go into the elevator. Luckily, no one was on the elevator. Take the elevator down to the lobby and it's pouring rain. And I am Willem Dafoe at the end of Platoon. I am standing on the corner of 17th and 5th with my arms outstretched like Jesus Christ, letting the cold April rain wash the excrement off of my clothes and my face. And of course, it's New York, so no one seems to like care or notice except I did smell a little bit off so anyway my point is uh you really pornos are not as erotic as you think they are at least the ones we were making did that did that uh did that dissuade you, Gilbert? Yeah.

From entering the industry? The most mind-boggling part of it is how he just went into Barney's. Yeah. And there's some woman, some lone woman. Yeah. Want to get fucked in the ass and the pussy. Sure. You don't know me, but. Well, I'm trying to remember from the book barry weren't you

mugged weren't two two guys well what happened right afterwards yeah so that was the last day of shooting and uh we finished around four or five a.m uh it was a disaster it was my birthday so uh mandy the paper towel girl brought out Entenmann's vanilla cake with the chocolate ice cream and one candle. And the last remaining porn actor and Dick and Mandy sang happy birthday to me. And then I lived on 7th Street between A and B in the East Village and we were at 14th and 5th. So there's a crosstown bus that went right by my house. While I'm waiting there, still a little damp and still a little rank, I was mugged. Two huge guys came up to me, took my wallet, took my watch. It's a longer story because

it's in the book because whenever things get get really uh nerve-wracking i get really calm but in any case at some point this guy says to me the guy who took my watch says you stink did you just shit yourself and i go you know what here's the. I didn't shit myself. I do stink. And you really don't want to know why. So we were having a conversation while I was getting mugged. Eventually, I got back my wallet and watch and got on the bus. And I basically wanted to just sleep for a year until my next birthday. Literally, your wife is gone and is not coming back. This is amazing. You're welcome. That's a beautiful New York story. I will tell our listeners, too, that both of the stories, both the porn shoot and the mugging,

are told in much greater detail in the book. So to know more, they'll have to get their hands on the book. And I love inside jokes in movies, Barry. And in Men in Black 2, there is an allusion to one of your porn memories, to one of your porn sets. Or not even an allusion. It's a direct reproduction. Oh, that's right.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah, no, the worm guys live in this sort of hip east side apartment. The little scrawny worm guys in Men in Black and Men in Black 2 with a white shag carpet and sort of a cottage cheese ceiling. on the one day we left the loft during the nine days of porno to uh just have one other set was in was in this apartment and uh uh i based uh the worm guys apartment on men in black 2 based on uh this this place we shot this one scene where robin bird who used to be a porn actress before she became bang your box bang your box baby bang yeah everybody in new york knows robin bird oh yeah well come on at like three in the morning when you say come yeah sorry yeah she well she was legit by then barry she was

she was a cable access host. That's right. Along with Ugly George. You know, Gilbert, you know who your laughter reminds me so much of? Joan Cusack. And I'll tell you what I said to Joan. Joan has the same sort of barking, loud, wonderful laugh that you did. Then I said to Joan joan some man because of your laugh is going to fall in love with you and marry you and think you're so adorable until years later it's that same laugh that makes him think i've got to get a divorce so i'm just how long have you guys been married he He's going to ask her. Yeah. Do you know?

No. He doesn't know. 13 years. 13 years. You're going to wear that tie? Darren, are you trying to pick clothes for him? Yeah. I'm guessing you've got five more years, Gilbert.

What? 23 years. Right. But then she got pregnant and you had to get married? No answer. She finally gave in. She fell in love with him, Barry, when she saw him eating out of someone else's

plate at a party. That's so Gilbert. Since you brought up Joan Cusack, I want to bring up Adam's Family Values, which my wife and I watched last night. And, you know, she is, first of all, so many things about that. I mean, Paul Rudnick and Bo Welch's work and Mark Shaman's music. And there's so many things going for it. But I heard you on with Alec Baldwin talking about how one of the most brilliant things about her in that movie

is how quickly she goes from grief when she's in the car. She's preparing her story, trying to bump off Fester. And she goes to that signature cackle that you're talking about. She is just magnificent, and underrated if that's possible. Yeah, no, she's amazing. And that shot, you know, she set a bomb to blow up Fester. And so we're on a close up of her. And off camera, there's this huge explosion and a hubcap, a piece, no, some sort of piece of something lands in the foreground yeah i used a hub cap a sound because i didn't know gil gilbert probably can give us a good hub cap sound but in any case um

uh in the shot she goes from weeping to cackling without any cutaways and it's brilliant that slow acting change within the same shot i i think, not to get technical, but I think that really good comedies play out, the comedy plays out without cutting. You know, I hate cutting to a close-up for a punchline or a joke. I love for the audience to find where the comedy is and to see it play out. And that's a perfect example that there's no cutaway. It plays out in one continuous shot. Another example is in the first Men in Black, you see Tommy Lee Jones interrogating an alien. It's Will's first day. And in the background, Will is having to help an alien mother give birth. And you see Tommy interrogating this alien.

And in the background, Will is being thrown up and down and the tentacle grabs him and he goes in the car and out of car and is bumping on the roof, but there's no cutaways. I don't cut to a closeup of Will being funny. I don't cut. It's all in this master shot, which is the way great comedies, you know, the ones directed by Preston Sturgis or Howard Hawks, played out in these wonderful comedy two shots. So I'm really proud of doing that. And I love Jones' performance in that movie.

So brilliant. So brilliant. And you also believe that comedy, I was thinking about that shot in Men in Black, by the way. If if you had cut to the close up, then you you leave the joke, which is the Tommy that that that that K is ignoring everything that's going on behind. That's right. That's right. You'd you'd you'd lose that. You'd lose that moment. You'd lose almost the point of view of it. you'd lose that moment. You'd lose almost the point of view of it. And also, if you cut to Will being funny,

what you're saying is, I don't trust the audience to find out where the comedy is. I love for the audience to think they're smarter than the director and for them to find the comedy instead of me. It's like explaining a joke. Cutting to a close-up of a punchline is it's is just like explaining a joke which is you know you've lost the game if you have to explain the joke sure sure yeah we've got we've talked about this how you hate uh you hate a music cue that tells the audience comedy comedy music yeah when a comedy scene's going on it's like

and right it's telling you comedy is happening here you know it's funny and i you know the first half of the book is more about my childhood and washington heights and things like punch bowl and all that and the second half is more about my career in the movie business but one of the things i talk about is when you do a comedy, when you direct a comedy, you don't want anyone on the show to know you're doing a comedy. And I say, if the composer knows there'll be slide whistles and there'll be triangles. If the wardrobe person knows everything will be colorful. If the lab knows everything will be bright. And the worst is if the actors think they're working in a comedy. I remember I did a movie called Big Trouble and Tom Sizemore was in it.

He played opposite Johnny Knoxville. And when I hired Sizemore, I said, all right, I'm going to hire you under two conditions. One is you're never allowed to hit me. And he agreed. He said, OK, I'll never hit you. And then and then I said, and you have to do everything I tell you to do. And you cannot be in a comedy. You just play the reality of the role. And he said, got it. And then the first day he came in with a twitch and he had a limp and I called him into my campfire. I said, hey, Sizemore. I called him Sizemore. I have to fire you. He said, why? I said, you're trying to be funny. And he said, it's a comedy. I said, no, it isn't. Let the audience decide it's a comedy. You just play the scene for the reality of the scene.

If the scene is stupid, you'll be stupid, but don't play stupid. And then he got good. And then whenever Johnny Knoxville came up with something funny, he then in the next take stole it because he was really jealous of Knoxville. Hey, let me tell you a quick Knoxville thing. Do you know that I was on? Gilbert, you'll love this because I have a feeling you like really scatological stuff. Do you know that I was on? Yeah, I was on Jackass. Oh, do tell. And Johnny Knoxville said it was the most disgusting thing in the history of jackass. Just so you know, I I had a blackhead on the right side, right crease of my nose that given five or six years of not squeezing it, I can build up internally a lot of pus. And I said to Johnny, I can squiggle out about 18 inches of pus. And he said, I got to have this on jackass. So we were both at Rick Baker's facility in Glendale.

brought his crew and they filmed me squeezing my nose and getting 18 squiggling inches of pus out of the crease, nose crease on the right side of my nose. And Knoxville almost threw up as I was doing it. It was for him the most disgusting thing ever. So check it out. I'm sure it's available somewhere. Check it out. I'm sure it's available somewhere. And you told a story of how your mother caused a problem on a plane. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. We were really poor. You know, we were often without electricity or butcher money or telephone. You know, my father stole my bar mitzvah money to pay the rent back rent. And but that occasionally knew enough mobsters. So occasionally we'd get into a little bit of money. It was a lighting salesman. But anyway, and so we're on

our first airplane ever. We used to drive to Miami over the holidays, over the Easter holidays, because it was cheaper than the Christmas holidays. And it was a 30 hour nonstop drive, which is quite a feat. But in any case, because dad was the only driver mom never learned how to drive we were on an eastern air we had we were ticketed on an eastern airlines flight but eastern didn't have enough planes so they rented one from a mexican airline called Pan Americano. So we got on this very festively painted plane. First time mom or I had been on a plane, dad had been on planes and mom was always having angina attacks and threatening heart attacks. And so we're on the plane and mom announces she's having an angina attack and convinces the flight attendants, the bilingual flight attendants, to convince the pilots that she's going to die unless she immediately gets oxygen. So, of course, the pilot gets on the plane to make this announcement.

But, A, you can't understand what he's saying because he's barely speaking english and b it's so electronically fucked that all all we know is the pilot has said something and then drops all the oxygen masks oh god for my mother right so there's 110 swinging oxygen masks with yellow cups and their mom sucking oxygen with everyone else on the plane going, what the fuck is going on? experience on a plane. That's why to this day, I say that every time I get off an airplane, I view it as a failed suicide attempt. Because listen, planes, a 747 weighs 400,000 pounds. And you're telling me it flies seven miles above the earth because of the shape of the wing. It makes no sense. And you're a tech guy.

And I'm a tech guy and I don't believe it. I think it's all just sort of an agreed upon stupidity that we think we're flying. I mean, really? Yeah. This thing is flying. It makes no sense. So, you know, in the book, there's a very long chapter called Fear of Flying. That not only is about that incident, but, you know, I was in a plane crash and Van Nuys. So, Gilbert, where do you live when you're not? And I assume your wife is with you somehow.

Where do you guys live when you're not in the Berkshires? In Manhattan. What neighborhood? Why are you stopping, Holbrook? I'm not asking for an address. I'm asking for a neighborhood. Oh, wait, wait, Gilbert. Wait, stop, stop.

I'm sorry. Ask your wife what neighborhood you live in. Hilarious. I really should do this. Chelsea. Where? Chelsea. Oh, Chelsea.

I see. That's nice. Lovely there. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. Gifting Dad can sometimes hit the wrong note. Oh. Instead, gift the Glenlivet, the single malt whiskey that started it all, for a balanced flavor and smooth finish.

Just sit back and listen to the music. Ooh. This single malt scotch whiskey is guaranteed to impress dad this Father's Day. The Glenlivet. Live original. Please enjoy our products responsibly. Well, I remember someone saying to me, and then I noticed it, you were talking about cameramen making funny shots and that they say, you know, and I noticed it, stunt people will do funny stunts rather than just fall down right they'll fall down like a clown right i hate it

i hate it yeah no it's true in fact i think that uh in butch cassidy and the sundance kid some guy gets shot and uh he overacted but got really hurt. He had to fall like four stories into boxes. And I think the director said he had to use the shot because the stunt guy got so hurt but hated that he had to use it because it was such overacting. You know, when people trip, they just trip and fall. They don't. Yeah. Now on when I watch a comedy, Barry, that's what I'm going to be thinking of. The people who were making and I see a bad comedy. the people who were making this knew they were making a comedy.

And that's a fatal decision. It's never let anyone know you're making a comedy. Yeah, no. Listen, the other thing is always make the actors talk really fast. Because the other horrible thing, whether it's a comedy or not a comedy is i hate to see acting and if actors talk if they're forced to talk really fast they don't have any time to act or react and that's where the and that's so great so my my direction to every actor always is okay that's great Let's do one 10 times faster.

And that's the only direction I give people. It's like when Leslie Nielsen first got into like airplane and loaded weapon or whatever that was. A loaded gun, naked gun, naked gun and airplane. He was funny. And then he started to realize he was funny. And then in other comedies, he would really play it for laughs and he stopped being funny. Yeah, absolutely. The Zucker brothers sort of discovered him as a non comedy actor who would be really good in comedies. You know, the perfect example of that, and my favorite movie is Dr. Strangelove.

I think it's the funniest movie ever. Oh, that made your wife leave again. I'm sorry. It's not a porno. Come back. She hates Barry Lyndon. But, you know, you see peter sellers and and uh george he's got all these guys that are not playing it for the comedy and that's what makes it yeah sterling hayden uh slim pickens everyone's

uh playing it for the reality but because the situation is absurd that's what makes it fun. Of course. And in fact, George C. Scott is about 30 seconds too funny throughout the movie. There's about 30 seconds I would cut out at the end of some of his shots because he's trying to be a little too funny. Wow. You remember when we had David Zucker on, he was talking about how Stack was right for him and Nielsen was right, but they kept having to sit on Lloyd Bridges. Yeah, I was going to say that. You can see that Stack is perfect. And Lloyd Bridges is trying to be a little too funny.

That's it. You got it yeah and and i heard i think it was george burns who said he liked to hire actors on his shows because they believe that's so right gilbert hey you know what i was thinking else i was thinking about you gilbert what's so lucky about you is as you as you get older as you become oh perhaps a little addled perhaps you'll eventually have, you know, be put in a home. Nothing, nothing changes. I don't know how I don't know how anyone would ever say, you know what? I think we've got a problem with Gilbert. I think he's I think he's gotten a little bit uh senile because

how would anyone know i love how you're talking in the future tense that's a gilbert you're being roasted on your own show i know that was great you know on the subject of kubrick barry uh ken adam the legendary production designer of Dr. Strangelove. Yeah. You hired for Adam's Family Values. And there's a lot of Kubrick, little Kubrick motifs and Kubrick homages running through your work. Yeah, Kubrick was my favorite director. You know, I love 2001, A Space Odyssey.

I love, obviously, I love Strangelove. I didn't like his later works. You know, A Space Odyssey. I love, obviously, I love Strange Love. I didn't like his later works. You know, it's interesting. You know, he directed, what's the one with Vincent D'Onofrio? Oh, Full Metal Jacket. Full Metal Jacket. And I was so interested because Vincent D'Onofrio played the villain in the first Men in Black. He played the alien.

Memorably. So I wanted to know how Kubrick directed, you know, and I said, so tell me about working with Kubrick. And Vincent said, Kubrick made me come out to London two months early. And every Monday, I was picked up in London with a car and driven out to Kubrick's estate where Kubrick would look at me and say, gain more weight, come back in a week. Vincent would go back, eat more stuff, come back in a week. This went on, he said, for six weeks as he got fatter and fatter and fatter. And finally, after six weeks, Kubrick said, great, that's the weight they want you to be at. And Vincent said, well, that's great. Now can we talk about my character? And Kubrick said, that's your job, not mine.

did and always did this, especially on Eyes Wide Shut, but always, he would do 100 takes of every setup. And the reason he'd do all those takes was to get the actors so bored that they literally would stop acting. And I said, if only Kubrick had met me 50 years ago, I could have said, no, just tell him to talk fast and you don't have to do 100 takes and you get you achieve the same goal, which is get rid of all the acting. You could have saved him a time and a fortune and a lot of time. That's right. I could add about a couple of directors who said they like to get them to the point of exhaustion with, well, there was that story of- You heard it on this show. Yeah.

Milos Forman. Oh, really? Treat Williams told us about Milos Forman, that he would wait till everybody stopped acting. And I heard there was a story, Jack Lemmon, I guess it was with William Wilder, who said a little less, a little less. And and finally, Jack Lemmon said, look, if I do it any less, I'm not acting at all.

And he goes, oh, thank God. Exactly. Oh, yeah. Billy Wilder. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He could have just said talk faster and achieved the same thing but um yeah no thank god i love that answer it's so true we got to ask you a little bit about blood simple we had emmet walsh on the on the podcast barry which was an experience in itself yes i bet it was i think he got someone twisted his arm to do it and he gave a shit for about an hour and a half. But go blood simple. There's so much wonderful stuff about it in the book.

I want to ask you, though, about burying Ethan on your property. Right. M. Amber Walsh so didn't think that this movie was going to be released that he insisted he get paid in cash. Oh, he told us, yeah, walking around with stacks of cash. Right. And it was all in his yellow leisure suit that he wore throughout the movie. And if you look carefully,

you can see, you can tell when a scene was shot in the movie by how thick his front hand pocket was. No, no. I remember the last day of shooting, Emmett had a problem with Joel. Emmett was a curmudgeon, duh. And Joel, yeah, no, and on the last day, Joel, Emmett was saying, why am I doing this? And Joel said, just humor me, Emmett.

And Emmett said, I've been doing it for six weeks, Joel. And but we decided that we needed some more coverage of the scene where the boyfriend, Ray, buries the husband played by Danny Hedaya in the in in this field. But we needed more coverage. And I lived in East Hampton, Long Island, in what was referred to as my starter house. It was a small little house in East Hampton. And we needed various additional shots of this burial. So we dug a hole in my backyard, put Ethan in it, covered his face with dirt. So you, but, and Ethan was wearing Danny Hedaya's clothing and Joe shoveling dirt in while Ethan is writhing around and we're filming all this. And then we get, we, we fill up Ethan. I don't know how he didn't die or suffocate, but Joel is yelling to Ethan,

Ethan, stop moving. I just want a shot of the grave with all the dirt on it, but no movement. But Ethan can't hear Joel because Ethan's covered with tons of dirt. Buried him in the yard, Gilbert. So Ethan is still writhing around and Joel is yelling, Ethan, stop. And Ethan's still writhing around and Joel is yelling, Ethan, stop. And Ethan's still writhing. So Joel finally says to me, cut. And I cut the camera and he digs a little hole and we see Ethan's little face and his little glasses looking up.

And Joel says, Ethan, just no movement at all. I just want the grave with no movement. And Ethan says, we're going to cover you up again, but no movement at all. I just want the grave with no movement. And Ethan says, we're going to cover you up again, but no movement. And Ethan says, Hey, Joe. And Joe says, what? And Ethan says, Oh, nevermind. Nevermind. And Joe says, what? He says, well, if you want the grave with no movement and then Joe goes, right. Yeah. Okay, help me get him out of there, Barry. So I know that Ethan isn't under the ground in that cutaway of the grave, but it wasn't Danny Hedaya anyway, so it's a double cheat. There were great stories in the book, too, about you working with the Coens.

And, you know, Gilbert, we love Miller's Crossing. Yes. about you working with the Coens. And, you know, Gilbert, we love Miller's Crossing. I got to tell you, and also one of the things about the Coens that I love is how they manage to create their own language in films, especially a movie like Miller's Crossing with What's the Rumpus and Give Me the High Hat. And by the way, talk about guys who play comedy straight. Yeah, absolutely. We, you know,

my wife and I still use certain phrases from Coen brothers movies. We're going to have dinner with some decent folk. Yeah, that's right. From Miller's Crossing. There's, I'm speculating about a hypothesis. Also,

John Pulido has a lot of that great dialogue. Pulido has a lot of that great dialogue. Pulido has a lot of great dialogue. And Joe and Ethan are such great writers and directors. And, you know, they do equally well with murder mysteries, comedies. Oh, yeah. You know, they're really incredibly versatile. Howard Hawks was like that. He would go from a Western to a comedy to,

you know, it's so great that you don't, you didn't get pigeonholed back then. Yeah. Yeah. But tell Gilbert what Totoro said to you at the conclusion of the shooting. Well, yeah. Totoro was great in Miller's Crossing. And on the last day, Totoro came up to me and said, I want to thank you so much. And I said, oh, yeah, it was fine. It was a pleasure. And he goes, no, I just want to let you know,

I based my entire performance of a whining homosexual by watching you and i said you're welcome you know the truth is uh and i was so ahead of the curve especially now with covet 19 i always needed to be the center of attention. Yes, there's a director. Yes, there's actors. But when I was the cinematographer, it was all about me, all about me. And I was reminded recently, someone sent me an email who had read the book and said they were so surprised that I I didn't mention this, but on the nine or 10 movies I was a cameraman on, I wore on my forehead a temperature strip so I could go up to any actor, grip, electrician and say, do I have a temperature? And they'd look, you know, each degree was a different color. They go, no, it's between 98 and 99. I go, okay, I feel feverish.

They go, well, and I literally always on every movie I wore a temperature strip when I was a cameraman. So I could make everyone worried about me. That's full. Your camera was obviously, as has been said over the years, was the character in itself in those films. Well, that's the other thing Janet Maslin pointed out in that first Times review of Blood Simple. Because I'm an only child of Jewish persuasion, I needed to be the center of attention. And when I became a cameraman, I thought, how do I how do people pay attention to me? So in a lot of movies, a movie that I'm not credited as a cinematographer on, even though I was, it was a union issue called Three O'Clock High.

Oh, yeah. And Raising Arizona and Throw Mama from the Train. Yeah. Blood Simple. The camera is a character in the movie. And all these movies, the cinematography is so self-conscious and so saying, here I am. You'll get some of those shots in Raising Arizona. It's all about me. Everything is about me. In fact, you guys didn't exist until I met you.

It's very quantum mechanics of me schrodinger's cat all that kind of stuff yeah well and you're welcome you're welcome i appreciate that your book goes into some of those quantum mechanic theories like one of your theories and by the way griffin and men in black three you could do a whole we could do a whole other podcast on this. Right. On that character and your philosophy of life and your quantum mechanics theory. One of them being that you died multiple times and then moved on into different multiverses. Do I have this right? Well, as you know, one theory about the universe is that there are multiverses and billions and trillions of exact

versions of earth and for every decision you make you could have made another decision and in a different multiverse you did make that other decision can you imagine there may be trillions of more gottfrieds out there little gilbert gottfrieds sort of going i'm gonna laugh even longer here let's see if my wife will leave me a year sooner than she would but in any case and i don't know boy gil, I wish I was in the same room with you right now, just to, just to smile and say, I don't mean anything. Well, yes, I do. We'll do another one down the line when all this is over. Yes. When it's all done, I've been in so many near death experiences that I kind of wonder

if maybe I did die and just transferred now i'm living like they're you know lives have nine cats maybe i have 50 or 70 trillion barries out there because one thing that isn't in the book is i i and this will surprise gilbert um i was uh i went to race car driving school and I was in a race, an actual open wheeled race car. And I flipped the car and the car flipped multiple times in the sand. So the robot didn't protect me. They had to stop the race. So the other race car drivers could lift the car off of my head. How did I not die? I've killed more elk than most hunters exclusively using various cars I've owned. I killed three elk in Telluride. I killed the deer in East Hampton. And I killed an elk in North Platte, Nebraska, doing 80 miles an hour on Interstate 80. So I just wonder if in all these cases I died and then just moved over to another multiverse. I suspect not,

but you never know. What do you think, Gilbert? You think it's possible that the other Gilbert Gottfrieds occupy other universes? Who are much cooler than I am. No, no, that's the unfortunate thing, Gilbert. They're all exactly like you. Barry, we've got to ask you about some great character actors that we love. Because we've done 300 of these things. We love character actors. We want to ask you about Hackman from Get Shorty, but also the great Dennis Farina.

Yes. Yeah dentist Farina. Yes. Yeah. Farina. Farina. Have you guys. Did you guys ever meet him? We didn't get him. No, no.

I met him at the Friars Club once, but we didn't have him on the show. Unfortunately. Yeah. Farina is perfection. Talk about someone who is hilarious and comedies by not playing funny yes you know farina was in uh both midnight run am i telling the moron number fucking moron number one or number two exactly um he was in both uh get shorty for me and he was brilliant and he was also in um another movie i directed called big trouble that he's extraordinarily brilliant in.

The nicest guy. And, you know, he was a cop, a Chicago cop. Yeah. For 20 years, beat hippies up at the 68 convention. And and he spends every he spent every summer in Chicago and every winter in Scottsdale, Arizona. And I said to Dennis, when you go back to Chicago, do you hang out with all your cop friends when you go back to Chicago? And he goes, you know, most of my friends were on the other side, meaning gangsters. Wow. And I just love that he was so in fact, I asked him how many hippies he beat up at the Chicago convention and all that. He said, you know, Barry, I want you to like me.

I'm not going to tell you. But he was quite a Chicago cop. That was so funny because he wasn't trying to be funny. And you mentioned Hackman. And we had a table read. We were trying to get a studio to make Get Shorty. No one would make it. Danny DeVito, who was producing it and was going to star in it, was wondering if it was ever going to get made. So we had a table read.

And at the table read, we had Geneman and dennis farina and and other actors playing other roles danny played the role eventually played by travolta um leslie ann warren played the role that renee russo got and but after the table read i went up to Gene Hackman, who played his role. And I said, Gene, I just got to say you were so fantastic. You were so funny. And Gene said, what the fuck are you talking about? And I said, well, you're just so funny. And he said, I'm not a comedian. I said, yeah, that's why you were so funny.

And he said, well, I don't have a fucking clue what you mean but thanks a lot and then he left and then we hired him to uh be uh in the movie and i remember gene calling me up i was finishing men in black and we were also about to start pre-production oh no it's reverse sorry we i was finishing some movie and gene called me up and he said listen i'm thinking about growing a goatee because i think my character his character's name is harry zim uh thinks he's an artist and even though he's not i think he would have a goatee and gee i said is there a movie you've had a goatee in so I can look at it and see what you look like? And he goes, no, I just thought I'd try it. And I said, well, why don't you grow the

goatee? And if if we if it doesn't look right, we just before we shoot, we'll just get rid of it. He goes, I'm not going to fucking waste my time growing a goatee if you're not going to use it. And I said, you mean like waste your time by not shaving? And he said, fuck that shit. I said, no, Gene, Gene. OK, all right. Yes, I love it. And we'll use it. And I figured if I hated it, I would deal with it down the road.

But Gene was a handful, but a brilliant actor, just very, very self-loathing and very angry. Interesting. But fantastic and fantastic in the show and always fantastic. He then went on. He realized he can be funny without being funny. He then went on to work with Mike Nichols in Birdcage, which, again, he doesn't play comedy funny, which is great. You know, remember, Gilbert, we had Richard Donner on the podcast, and he was a handful in the 70s for Donner. It's nice to see he didn't mellow.

Oh, it's Lex Luthor? He gave him a very, very hard time. And it's nice to see he didn't mellow over the years. What is the sign that you're with a bad director? Well, a bad director won't tell you to talk faster. A bad director doesn't have everything worked out ahead of time. The worst place to make decisions is on a set. You want a director that in pre-production designs all the

shots, makes decisions. And here's something you never want to hear from a director. I don't care whatever you want to do. You know, when the prop guy comes to you and says, wow, I got a red folder and a green folder. Which one do you want, boss? You know't the prop guy doesn't want the director to say it doesn't matter you choose one even though you don't care as a director you have to make every decision so you go the red one and then on the set that day you go oh jesus i put that woman in a red dress and now i don't see the folder and then you go to the prop guy and you go, Hey, remember when I said red folder and he goes, yeah, yeah,

I got the green. I still got the green one. You want it, sir. You want it, sir. By the way, sir is crew code for asshole.

As in, would you like the camera back where we originally had it, sir? Or even good morning sir it's their way of being able to say i think you're an asshole without saying it to you so they call you sir i never let anyone call me sir on the set and gilbert you shouldn't either i love i love that i'm i go ahead gil i don't want to make you tell tales out of school, Barry, but I heard you talking about James Caan on Alec Baldwin's podcast and the Where's My Mark story. You loved Kathy Bates on the set of Misery, but not so James Caan. Jimmy is a lovely guy, just a lovely guy, surprisingly Jewish, surprisingly former rodeo star. Yeah. Hey, Gilbert, she's back, so be careful.

Yep, Sonny Corleone was Jewish. Sonny Corleone was Jewish. was jewish and um however jimmy has to spend 86 pages in that bedroom of which 70 pages are in bed and jimmy is the most hyper active unable this not daven not move his knees up and he's just out of control like out of control energy and he's got to be in bed for 86 pages i remember you know and also once you've lit a bedroom for 86 pages there's not much to do except make fun of either jimmy kahn or if gilbert was on the set g Gilbert, but Gilbert wasn't there for us. I'd like to see Gilbert in misery. Yeah, Gilbert starring Gilbert Gottfried. So, you know, he used to hang out at the Playboy Mansion. Oh, yes.

And I said to him, did you ever sleep with any playmates? did you ever sleep with any playmates? And he said, I slept with 17 play 17 in a row, playmates of the month. And I said, what, who is, who is the 18th? What month refused to have sex with you? And after 17, he said, Oh, I can't tell you that bad. bad i said i'm not asking for a name i'm asking for a month i'm not even asking for a year he said i can't tell you i said because it would embarrass april i mean he was like a weird guy that's hilarious uh the very very first day of shooting the very first day jimmy has to light a match he a match. His character has finished his novel. He opens up a bottle of champagne, and using his nail with one of those Strike Anywhere matches,

he has to light a match. Take after take after take. It's the very, very first day of shooting. And we're in Reno, Nevada. And we break for lunch, having not gotten a shot of Jimmy just striking this match. And I go into Rob Reiner's camper. Rob was the director. And I said, hey, Rob, remember Vietnam?

And Rob goes, yeah. And I said, get out now. Get out now. Don't wait for 50,000 men to die. Fire him right now. And Rob and I and his wife, Michelle, sweetie, my wife and I introduced Rob and Michelle. And to this day, whenever Rob and I get together and something goes a little wrong rob will say hey back remember vietnam that's hilarious we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast but first a word from our sponsor i got one question i want to ask you

from a listener uh barry from harold ste. He says, would you ever consider a sequel, doing a sequel to Throw Mama from the Train with Gilbert in the role played by Danny DeVito? Now I'm sounding like Gilbert. Or maybe Ann Ramsey's part. You know, when Ann died, Ann had had tongue cancer the whole time we were working. Anne died and Danny spoke at Anne's memorial. And everyone was very solemn and all that. And Danny DeVito got up there and said, you know, if Anne is looking down at us right now, I know what she's thinking. She's thinking, there goes your sequel, fat boy.

You know what? Gilbert would be kind of genius as Mama. Oh, my God. Frank, you are so on to something. I know. We have to thank this listener. It was his idea. You are so on to something.

I know. We have to thank this listener. It was his idea. I'm going to email Danny right now about Gilbert playing Mama. But Danny actually, I think, is thinking about doing, maybe figuring out what else to do with that character. Because it was such a great character. Oh, yes.

Yes. There's a throwaway gag in that movie that's one of the the funniest things i think you know what i mean when they're driving the frying pan no when they're driving in the car and he's and he's cows yes it's cows well here's the fucking thing just made me laugh like crazy here's the funny thing. Danny had two ants and Danny had And the other ant was a repeater. So one would go exit 42 and the other one would go exit 42. And so Danny told me that one of the ants would go cows and the other ant would go cows. So I told Danny to say cows. And Danny took it out of the cut.

And I was visiting the edit one day and I said, Danny, what happened to cows? And he said, I don't know. Isn't it off topic? I said, yeah, that's what's so great about it. Danny put it back in. So cows is in there because I was in the cutting room. In fact, in Blood Simple, there's a great shot where the camera is tracking along the bar talk about a self-conscious camera and there's a drunk lying on the bar and the camera

gets up to the drunk booms up goes over the bar booms back down again and continues on its way and i visited the coen brothers in the cutting room one day and joel had cut it out of the movie and i said joe where's the shot going over the drunk and he said i don't know it seemed kind of self-conscious and i said the whole movie is self-conscious on that shot question so they put it back in so thank you i'm yeah thank you for putting those two moments that that that is a wonderful non sequitur in Throw Mama from the Train. Real quick, here's two things. Michael Jackson's cameo in Men in Black 2. How the hell did that come about?

And had he not seen the joke at his expense in Adam's Family Values? I think he must not have seen the pedophile joke in Adam's Family Values. What are you going to say? the pedophile joke in Adam's Family Values. No, he also is in Men in Black 1 in some, he may be one of the aliens. I can't remember. On the terminal? On the screen.

Yeah. But the funny thing about that day is he couldn't remember Zed's name. And we had to do take after take after take because he kept calling Zed, played by Rip Torn. Sure. Zeke. And I'd say, cut, Michael, it's Zed. Okay, roll camera.

We do it again. Hi, Zeke, cut, Michael, it's Zed. And then after about 15 takes, Michael said, Barry, can you just change his name to Zeke? I said, you know, Michael, we really can't. It's been established for two movies. Everyone else calls him Zed. But he was lovely, and he so wanted to be a man in black so wanted to and uh sony had his record contract and michael was holding out for a bigger role

but we eventually uh compromised on that scene wow and so two two actors who left us last year uh uh uh riptorn you who you just alluded to. And of course, Amanda, was that your wedding? The great Albert Finney? Yes. One quick anecdote about each and talk about playing comedy straight. Rip Torn. Well, Rip, Tommy and Rip are both from Texas and hated each other. So that was a problem. Great. Oh, my God. So that was a problem. Great. The very quick story about Rip is Rip has to say to Tommy, you know, Will has been recruited. And the line to from Rip to Tommy is K, give the kids some fire power, meaning a gun, right? So roll camera. Rip says, okay, give the kid some fire power.

Cut. Rip, I have no idea what you're saying. You said fire power. I said, can you say fire power? I'm saying fire power. Anyway, this is take after take after this. And finally, Tommy says, will you just have that senile flex say, give the kid a big gun, which is what we ended up. And then the Albert Finney story is Albert was a dream. He would be out drinking with the grips and the electricians in New Orleans. So four in the morning and then come in at six and know every line of dialogue. We had our, Sweetie and I were married at the wrap party for Miller's Crossing, surrounded by grips and electricians and sound men, and Albert was there, and Albert bought an entire barge of

fireworks. Albert loves a party, and he gave us this great toast. And then the entire Mississippi River lights up in fireworks. But let me tell you a very quick story. It's not about Albert, but it is about shooting Miller's Crossing because we shot it in New Orleans. And Joe, Ethan and I stayed at the Canal Place. And the Canal Place is this huge hotel that said in huge red neon letters across the roof, Canal Place. Well, a week into being there in pre-production, your wife is making signals saying we're almost out of time, but this could be very quick. And Gilbert, you're going're gonna wear that tie a week into pre-production in new orleans we're staying at the canal place there's a hurricane that takes out the letter c

so for the next eight months we are staying at the anal place hotel in new orleans and they never turned the neon off. And literally, I'd say to Joel and Ethan, you want to go eat at Commander Palace's Saturday night or this place? And they'd go, no, let's just eat at the anal place. So we were literally staying at the anal place hotel. Barry, there's so much we could talk about and there's so much in the book that of course we will not get to in 90 minutes uh you know sometime come back if you're if you're up for it if you

had a good time and we'll just we'll just talk about favorite movies we'll talk about kubrick and the marks brothers i know you love i know you love gordon willis and pennies from heaven yeah i would love to just to hear gil Gilbert laugh and just to see his wife. Just you, Gilbert, you have no idea what's been happening the last 90 minutes. Don't play this back. Don't play the video back. I would love to come back. I had such a great time. We'll do it again. We want to ask you about your Superman thesis film. Oh, yeah, sure. And Frank Perry.

Gilbert loves The Swimmer. You worked for Frank Perry. You would not love Gilbert. Don't go there. We'll talk about more stuff and more Kubrick and Owen Roisman and all kinds of other things, and Dee Dee Allen next time.

But the book is not only anecdotes. It is also a philosophy book. It's a comedy book. It's a filmmaking book. It's just wonderful. We screwed up the title. So it's Barry Seinfeld, Call Your Mother, Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker. And Gilbert, Jerry Seinfeld, who's Barry's neighbor, told him he would make a good stand-up

comic. Oh. Well, he said I would enjoy being a stand-up comic. He didn't say I would be good. Exactly. Okay. So he never actually said to you, you will be a great stand-up comic. Look what you did.

You did a Jerry Seinfeld imitation. Behind you is a woman shaking her head no. Gilbert, in 300 plus shows, I don't think a guest ever got you so quickly. Oh, yeah. Well, I am Gilbert. I'm a slightly less annoying version of the Gilbert. I admit it.

Barry has changed his life's philosophy over the years, Gilbert, from live in fear to what is it? Cling to the wreckage? Oh, no, it's regret the past. Well, my philosophy is regret the past, fear the present, dread the future. I used to say live in fear, and now I say cling to the wreckage, which was the name of a book I really like. Clinging to the wreckage is a metaphor to, if you're in a boat and it capsizes, you want to be the guy who doesn't know how to swim because you'll cling to the wreckage while all the really, the optimists will try to swim to shore and die and drown. you and I will be the ones going, I knew he shouldn't have gotten on this boat.

I knew it. Thank you. You guys are twin sons of different mothers. I really think so. We'll talk about Where's Papa next time and so many, so many other things. The book is wonderful. To our listeners, if you haven't seen Get Shorty, shame on you, do it immediately. And Blood Simple, of course.

The people who listen to this show are film buffs, Barry, so they really have seen a lot of your work. Well, can I just say one last thing? Because of all the bookstores being closed, anyone who can deal with Gilbert's voice can deal with my voice. So the other way to go is to go to audible.com where I read the book for 11 hours. And I'm friends with the founder and president and CEO of audible.com.

And he's very impressed with my reading and feels i do a great job with quotations so check it out on audible.com gilbert did you read your book is there an audible version of rubber balls oh my god yes i hated every second of recording it i gotta sign one barry i got this in barnes and noble on the upper east. I missed you by a couple of days. Oh, wow. But you had signed it. The book is wonderful to our listeners. Please pick it up.

I've laughed a lot. Gilbert, you've been roasted for 90 minutes. I know. When Barry's in New York, he's going to come and pack your luggage for you. Oh, yes. And drive me to the airport in effect here's your uber uber that will be me driving you to the airport barry this was a kick and we want to thank our mutual pal alan's white belt for setting this up alan's white bell rob reiner and

i are talking about uh making barry son, Call Your Mother, into a television, a streaming television series where negotiations with Warner Brothers. And I just realized Gilbert could play 10-year-old Barry. Oh, that's great. I was thinking of taking the porno director for Gilbert. This has been a kick, Barry. Thank you so much. Well, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.

And today we've been talking to what I think is the only guest we've had who has been shit on. Well, at least literally. The great Barry Sonnenfeld. Let's take that one again. Sonnenfeld. Sonnenfeld, that's it. It's not going to happen. You want to do the ending again, Gil. It's not going to happen.

Frank, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried again, and this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we've been talking to Barry Sonnenfeld. Let's have you... Listen, wait, wait. Gilbert, Dara and Frank and I are going to go out to lunch.

When we come back, hopefully you will have gotten through it. And then we'll just do the station ID. I've got to get from Telluride, Colorado. So take a little while. So you have plenty of time. Hi, it's Gilbert Gottfried. And it's Gilbert Gottfried. And this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And our guest has been, Frank, do you want to say? It's like Fritz Feld. Barry Sonnenfeld. Barry Sonnenfeld. There you go. Who's the Jew here? Yeah.

Barry Scheiben, boy. Yeah. Balgo Bobby Flight. Jerry Lewis, ladies and gentlemen. Barry, thanks a lot. They wanna say live how they wanna live, play how they wanna play, dance how they wanna dance, kick and they slap a friend Add a family They do what they wanna do, say what they wanna say, live how they wanna live, play how they wanna play, dance how they wanna dance, kick and they slap a friend Add a family I remember the day I needed the ball, a little bit of buffer

The next thing you know, coming in deep was a hand with the fingers high stepping Now I try to play it on off off And act like I'm having a ball But what do I see? A perm with feet Standing about three feet tall They do what they wanna do Say what they wanna say Live how they wanna live

Play how they wanna play Dance how they wanna dance Kick and they slap a friend Addam Family! They do what they wanna do Say what they wanna say Live how they wanna live Play how they wanna play

Dance how they wanna dance Kick and they slap a friend Addam Family! Speaking and thinking about the Addams, you know the hammer is with it. Act a fool, no bones, swoop, goofy and randy, you know we kick it. Now is the time to get in your mind, it's okay to be yourself. Take foolish pride and put it aside like the Adams. Yo, they did that some family They do what they wanna do say what they wanna say live how they wanna live play how they wanna play dance how they wanna dance

Kick and they slap a friend Add a family They do what they wanna do say what they wanna say live how they wanna live play how they wanna play dance how they wanna dance Kick and they slap a friend Add a family Add to the shit Add to the shit Adam to the jet, Adam to the jet Adam to the jet, but Adam family

Adam to the jet, Adam to the jet Adam to the jet, but Adam family Thank you, Mr. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, this the Adams groove right here. Ha-ha. Yeah, yeah. Just like that. Oh, yeah. You know, you got the feeling, Sam.

They do what they want to do, say what they want to say, live how they want to live, play how they want to play, dance how they want to dance, kick if they stop or break. Add a family. Add to a dick. Add to, dick and they slap a friend Adam Family Adam to the dick Adam to the dick Adam to the dick I'm telling you, I saw the hand I said what they wanna do, shit what they wanna say Live how they wanna live, play how they wanna play Dance how they wanna dance, dick and they slap a friend

Adam Family That's the Adams Yeah, thank you, Festa I need you to go back to the bridge just then. Thank you, thank you. Now, check this out. They do what they wanna do, say what they wanna say, live how they wanna live, play how they wanna play, dance how they wanna dance, dick and they slap a friend. Adam Family! They do what they wanna do, say what they wanna say, live how they wanna live, play how they wanna play, dance how they wanna dance, dick and they slap a friend. Adam Family! They want to say live how they want to live, play how they want to play, dance how they want to dance, kick and they slap a friend. The Addams Family.

Because Nick got on the floor and he got the wind blowing and wobbling and he did this cool new her movie and everybody backed up. You know what I'm saying? Backed them up. Too legit. Too legit. I'm talking about the Addams Family. You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about the Addams.

Speaking and thinking about the Addams Family. You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about the Addams. Speaking and thinking about the Addams Family. They don't hurt anyone. They just like to have fun.