Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Brad Garrett Encore

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

GGACP celebrates April's National Humor Month AND the birthday of comedian and Emmy-winning actor Brad Garrett (b. April 14) by presenting this ENCORE of one of the funniest interviews in the podcast's archive. In this episode, Brad talks about the camaraderie of Golden Age comedians, the strange appeal of the “Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts,” the comedic genius of Martin Mull and Fred Willard and the challenges of portraying his longtime hero, Jackie Gleason. Also, Sammy buys a soda, Liza sheds a tear, Gilbert plays the sitcom neighbor-from-Hell and Brad opens for the Chairman of the Board. PLUS: “Fargo”! Art Fern! In praise of Mr. Warmth! The generosity of…Jack Carter? The comedy stylings of “Greg Barrett”! And Brad remembers the late, great Peter Boyle! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopatri. Our guest this week is a producer, stand-up comedian, comedy club owner, voice actor, and popular and versatile actor of both the big and small screen. You know him from feature films such as A Bug's Life, Ratatouille, Music and Lyrics, I know I pronounced that, Music and Lyrics, Finding Nemo, The Pacifier, Tangled, Christopher Robin and Ralph Breaks the Internet and dozens of TV appearances, including Roseanne, Seinfeld, Fargo, This Is Us,

I'm Dying Up Here, Law and Order SVU, and Penny Dreadful, City of Angels, as well as a terrific Jackie Gleason biopic and his own situation comedy, Till Death, which I've heard of, and of course as police officer Robert Barone and the long-running Everybody Loves Raymond for which he took home three well-deserved Emmy Awards. As an actor, he's worked with everyone from Woody Allen to Robin Williams.

And as a standup comedian, he's played to sold out rooms and opened for legends like Diana Ross, Sammy Davis Jr., and Frank Sinatra. And since 2012, he's been the owner and operator of Brad Garrett's Comedy Club at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. His 2015 memoir, and it's a funny one, it's called When the Balls ball struck I think I can relate

please welcome to the show one of the funniest human beings on the earth and a man who somehow managed to piss off Oprah Winfrey Bill Cosby and Gilly Rizzo. The multi-downed Brad Garrett. Oh, and that was the cut down introduction. That's the cut down one. That's unbelievable. How are you, Gilly? Hi, how are you, Brad? I'm good. I'm good. Nice to see you, Frank.

Good to see you again, Brad. Thanks for doing this. Oh, it's a pleasure. Gil, are you okay? Yeah. I, you know, considered for me. Yeah, yeah. Well, the podcast is wonderful.

Thank you. Thank you, sir. And it just, it's a pleasure to be on with you. Now, right before, right before this interview, I was watching Chicago PD, another Dick Wolf. And the lead guy on that, to me, sounds exactly like you and everyone loves Raymond. Really?

Yes, you'll have to watch that show. In Chicago PD? Yes. You'll have to watch that show. It's Chicago PD. So do I have to watch it? Who's the actor? What is your cable out here? I guess. Come on. Okay.

Are you into the Chicago and the Nashville PD? No, no, I wind up watching them. You like procedural zone? they're good, right? Some, yeah. You're great in those two Law and Order episodes, Brad. Really good, I gotta, listeners have got to watch those. Thank you, yeah. You play a wonderful associate of him.

Thank you, well, typecasting, how can I tell you? Now, and I worked, I think on at least two of Till Death. Yes, you sure did. You were hysterical. We had a lot of fun in those days. I think you played, didn't you play a friend that was, like in real life, very well endowed? Yes. Am I right? Yes, he was Tommy Campbell, your new next door neighbor.

Yeah. Tommy Campbell, that's right. It's like we just got through playing tennis or something and we're in the locker room and I pull my shorts down and you are in shock. Yeah. You know, I still have night tremors. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, Gill it's referred to in that episode which I watched last night as to one of the two episodes as a trouser cannon. Yeah That's what kill said right? Yeah, and Brad Brad you complained to your wife at one point that you're that you're built like an Asian child

Jolie Fisher. Oh, we had so much fun on that show. She's great. She is amazing. Did you have, do you remember being on the show, Gil? Absolutely. I remember the first show I did, I was the, you know, of course the neighbor and I had like a young, hot looking wife.

So you were real jealous of me. Sure. Like you do now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Gilbert, you're playing your usual creepy. Absolutely. Pervert guy. I've cornered the market.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, and also Joe, well, oh, Martin Mull. Martin, yeah, Martin Mull, Martin, yeah. Martin Mull was in it. Very funny. He was, he's so terrific. We had a great time. No, no, I had trouble getting people to watch it.

I remember right before they canceled us, and we tried everything, but you know, you gotta get people and they weren't watching and we were getting, I got a call right before they canceled us after the last time we aired, get a call from like the head of Fox at the time. And he says, listen, he said, you know, the ratings aren't great. We've tried to do all we can. And I said, we appreciate it.

You've been very supportive. They gave us four years, almost a full four. He said, you know, last night you got a 0.06 in the overnight rating, 0.06, not a one, a 0.06. And I went, oh, that's rough. And he goes, so, you know, we're going to have to do the inevitable. He said, is there anything that you would like us to try before we, you know, unfortunately have to cancel you?" And I said, just give us three more episodes to air and I guarantee you, I can take you to a zero. He didn't get it.

He was like, well, why would we want that? I said, look, any big shot can get a two, three, a four, one. You'd be the only network that has a show that is literally a zero. That doesn't mean anything to you at all. And needless to say, that didn't help. And we were canceled the next night, but it was a lot of fun.

The fascinating thing about Till Death Bread is it was a different show almost every season. Yes. And in the fourth season, it became surreal, like the old Abbot and Costello story. That's exactly right. It was like anything goes, break the fourth wall, you know, raunchy jokes that I can't believe

you guys were doing in prime time. We ended up, they changed my daughter on the show three times. Three times, right? We had three different daughters. And the woman who would sit there with the script and do the continuity took her life, actually, after season three. She was so crazy. I didn't mean to bring it down, but she was like,

you're killing me here with the continuity. She says, which one's the daughter now? And, but it was crazy. You know, we didn't know what we were doing, but we had fun and you know, you never know. You never, she didn't really take it like, she was Jewish, so she said, you're killing me with the continuity.

I bought it. You're a convincing actor. Gilbert, you had a sheep fetish, your character. Yes, yeah, I was just gonna say that. I said the wives wanted a meat, and I said I don't like people, I like sheep. Right. Ha ha ha ha!

The way you, you still deliver it unbelievably. We had a lot of friends on that show too. JJ Wall, my friend Gile, friend Jerry Lampert, played Stan and Kevin Rooney. JB Smoove was on it. Jay the hilarious JB Smoove. We had Domarera played. Oh sure, the obstetrician.

So we had a, we had a lot of, uh, that's a great thing when you, when they let you do your own thing, you get to bring on people you like, unlike Gilbert. And I remember there was another on the show where, uh, uh, Jolie Fisher says to you, you, of me, she says, you really envy him, don't you? You want to be him. And you go, no, I like being able to reach for the peanut butter. Is that what I said? Yes. You know, the second episode ended with outtakes. Another thing you guys were doing in season four.

Yeah. There's a garage sale. Martin Moll has the painting. Yeah. Gilbert's character. Gilbert, your character's a little like Rodney's character in Caddyshack. He's a vulgar rich guy. Yes.

Right. He's a little like Al Cervick. Yes. And then you guys, and then you screw up a line. I'm watching this thing, and all of a sudden, you guys break character. Oh, yeah. And it's just outtakes.

Oh, yeah, the best part. Yes, yeah. I remember I supposed to lean into Martin Mull and say, so, Grandpa, What puts the smile on your face? And the minute I said hi grandpa, I doubled over laughing. Yeah. And then that was it for this scene. Martin Maul. He could he's so just amazing. A treasure. Did Jolie ever introduce you to the old man, Brad?

I'm in in in doing that series. Do you ever need any Fisher? You know, I didn't know never met him. But I met the mom several times, Connie. Sure. Yeah. And just just a delight. Just a sweet, sweet. A larger than life character. So sweet, yes she is. A real star.

Jolie one time said to me, she goes, you remind me of my dad. Well, she said that to all men she feared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a compliment. Oh God, I hope she doesn't watch this. Did she really say that?

Do you get Eddie Fisher a lot, Gilbert? Do people look at you and go, Eddie? I'm so sick of him right now. He'll sing Oh My Papa. Yeah, right. Oh my papa, so gentle and so lovable. There you go. Now we get it. Brad, do you want to talk about growing up

and being kind of obsessed as we were with comics that would come out on The Carson Show? Oh sure. Specifically Rickles, staying up to see those great comics and or being obsessed with the old Dean Martin roast which we talk about a lot here. The Dean Martin roast, you know, I, you know, to me, Rickles is, you know, was really one of my faves.

And I, I, because I really don't have an act, he did but I just, I just love the spritz and play off the crowd and really kind of do the insult thing, the racial thing, which may have to come to a stop. But it's, I've always just loved kind of writing that. I really didn't know what my tone was for so long. And when I started out, it was very pedestrian comedy. It was very hacky.

It's still hacky, but the difference is it's never going to change. I'm hacky. I've always felt like an old, cat-skill guy, even when I was 20, 21, doing my stand-up. And I started doing impressions and horrible things like, what if Bill Cosby was a pilot before he was a rapist? I would do crazy stuff like that. And then I just opening for all these acts, these big acts where, you know, they never want to see the opener. I just ended up going, well, I, you know, I mean,

how much material can I do on my birth? You know, being a 12 pound baby, how? And I just broke out of the act and started just, you know, kind of roasting the front row and the people always coming in late for the opening act. And that's kind of where I found my niche, you know. But I remember seeing Rickles on Carson when, you know, when I was 11. And I remember Johnny and Ed crying with laughter. And I was like, how is this guy getting away with calling Ed fat and a drunk and talking about Carson's wives. I mean this was just taboo, this was crazy.

And then I would see Carlin on there and Rodney was a big influence for me early on. And so. It was a vent television with three networks. Remember Gil? Oh yeah. To stay up when it was a vent television with 3 networks remember Gil oh yeah just to stay up when it was a special night when a comic you wanted to see was coming who were you guys kill. I mean who who when you were starting out. Oh God so many I mean the ones you mention definitely yeah,

and I remember the older comics. I loved like Milton Berle, Jack Benny, Groucho. Sure, loved Groucho. Yeah, it was a different era. And a lot of comics helped each other. You know, it was just a different thing. They would help each other out. And that's, without sounding corny, I always wanted to have my own club because I started in that town

and I've been working there for over 30 years and people were really, really good to me and they really helped me out even at times when I maybe didn't deserve it. And I just never forgot that and it's great to find amazing talent on the road who can't get on a lot of these shows. Back in the day, if you killed on The Tonight Show, you had a pilot deal the next, not that I ever killed on The Tonight Show because I never did. They were all quite mediocre, honestly.

But I remember back in the day or when Ray killed on Letterman, she had the pilot the next week. Nowadays, it seems even though there's so many more outlets, it seems 10 times harder for young comics to really score. You know, it does. Just like I always say like years ago, as if you were an actor, if they saw the back of your head in a crowd scene

for two seconds, the next day, everyone wanted your autograph. Now you could see it. Now you think I think that's porno. Yeah. If they see the back of your head and they want your other. I don't know. Yeah. But now we're different. Now you all just you disappear. I don't know. Yeah. But now we're different now.

You all disappear. You disappear. Now you can star in 5000 TV shows. Yeah. And people say, I saw you still working. So many shows. Yeah, that's it. It's it's too many shows.

The era that Brad's talking about, Gilbert, we mentioned this on the show. Didn't Gabe Kaplan get a sitcom just from from that bit that he used to do? That that's Carter was in his act. Yeah. Yeah yeah, he would do the Ed Sullivan. Correct. The Ed Sullivan and that's you know, that was it. But like you said, Frank, there were three networks and and that was you know, that was that was a way to go. Staying up to see Rodney or Rick. Oh, you remember remember the bit with Rickles and the Geisha girls and the tubs? Oh, yes. With Carson wrestling each other in the hot tubs?

Yep. And the time he broke his cigarette lighter and Johnny takes the camera crew to go find him where he's shooting CPO Sharkey. Yep, yep, yep. And remember with- Event television. With Rodney, it was like two shows a night.

First the standup, and then the panel was even funnier than the stand up. Yeah, that's right. And there were 90 minutes of 90 minute show Carson. That I have what did you love about those roasts because we we love them to we have a great affection for them to as an adult you look at them again and you see how how they're

assembled. Yes, yeah, it was great. It was like the biggest stars not doing what they usually do. So it's like, it was like a crazy bachelor party that you got to watch of these huge icons. I mean, you know, when they roasted like John Wayne or, I just rewatched the Sammy roast the other night. And it was just great. It was just, but it was that, you felt that camaraderie. You felt that there was a closeness.

I think that's why the Friars Club really never took off in our era, the way they wanted it to in New York and especially LA. But it was just some of my favorite stuff because I think people love it when someone gets roasted, whether they're in the front row, whether they're on TV, because it evens out the playing field of life where we always feel we're not as good, we're not as successful.

And regular people feel that in their own life and in their own work. So when you're taking a shot at an icon or a guy in the row, in the front row with a gorgeous chick and a beautiful watch, and you're devouring him. There's, there's something wonderful about it because it just puts everyone in a vulnerable position. And I also, when I would watch stuff like that, well, I was also a major Jerry Lewis fan. Sure. Did you ever meet him? Yeah. And how was that? I can, I love being able to use the classic line,

well, he was always nice to me. Right, right. Good. Good. Good. And with Jerry. I'm sure he respected you. Yeah, I remember sitting outside the Friars Club

when they were putting a plaque of him on and I wound up sitting next to Jerry and he would he was the Jerry you want him to be you know like silly and yelling and heckling people and and every time he'd make some dopey joke he'd laugh at his own joke and then turn to me and squeeze my arm, like to pull me into it. And I thought this is- Like what do you think of that? Yeah, exactly.

And that to me was- That's an honor. Yeah, that's like getting an award. You bet. I remember one other thing, because we were talking about how the fries, all those roasts were put together. I remember meeting Milton Berle

and him saying that at those things, they would go, okay, Milti, you heard something really shocking. All right, and they point the camera at him. Okay, now this is making you angry. Really? Yeah, and they give a bunch of reactions. Oh, you mean they'd get the pickup shots

right after the fact? Yeah, you could tell, like somebody's pounding the table. Yes! Yeah, yeah. Or shaking their fist. Ruth Buzzi is hitting Orson Welles with the purse. Sure. So I guess they only had two cameras. Yeah, probably.

Right. Wow. That's amazing. If you go back and you watch him, even if you watch the late night promos for the DVDs of the Dean Martin roasts, you can see how clumsily they're assembled. And when I watched those old comics, I thought, this is what I want show business to be. Yes. Yes, that's exactly, exactly right. And that's how I felt. But it's not. It's really, really not. Did you interact with Jerry bread. I met Jerry once when I was opening for Sammy Davis. Sammy ended up doing like 5 nights at Bally's with Jerry Lewis.

So I went in and I saw the show and it was you know to me performer wise. There was no one like Sammy Davis Jr. I mean, you know and and what's funny is I grew up listening to that I grew up the records in my house were where that when they weren't being thrown were Sammy Davis and Tony Bennett and Sinatra so even though it was a little before my time I I just had such a fondness for that music. And I still do. And you know, for Sammy and these guys, it was such an honor. But what was so funny is when they were doing the gig, they were co-headlining ballets. Jerry would come out, he would do

30 minutes, Sammy would come out, he would do 40, and then they would come out, he would do 30 minutes, Sammy would come out, he would do 40, and then they would come out together at the end for a 10-minute encore. And God bless Jerry, he couldn't let Sammy have his total 40 minutes. It's like he's doing, you know, he was doing like his big thing back then. They were really gonna get Sammy Davis Jr. They wanted him to star in Phantom of the Opera. Wow. And he was, when he got sick, he was,

cause I was on the road with him at the time, they were actually negotiating it. It was huge on Broadway, and he was gonna open open in London in Phantom. And when he does Phantom, God bless him with his face, you know, he would look at me, he'd go, you know, I don't need the mask. I got the Salomo here, I got the earring Earth here and so when he would sing when he would sing Christine touch me you know and he would and it was the pin spot on Sammy and he was supposed to play a deformed guy, God bless him, who the Phantom was.

So he's going, Dad we're nightly only one. And he's doing the thing and in the background is Jerry Lewis going back and forth on a bicycle yelling, lady! Every every two minutes and the first night I went twice. The first night, you know, Sammy was like, you know, kind of letting it go and, you know, doing it. He couldn't look at this guy type of thing. And by the second night, you could see that it was, you know, it was his his encore number. I mean, you know, Jerry was coming back anyway.

It wasn't like they're working to see it with you. But you know, that was that was Jerry and Sammy took it like a real trooper. But that is what he did. That's sort of typical Jerry, Sammy took it like a real trooper, but. What do you think? That's sort of typical Jerry, isn't it? Yeah. I got one of my greatest showbiz stories. And I mean, I love this and I know it may be in the book, but no one read it, so this'll be fresh.

But when you would tour with Sammy, he would never fly. So you had to go on one of his two tour buses. And they were custom made where everything was to his scale. Okay. And he would cook Creole food on a little hot plate in the frigging bus. It was during the summer tours. Remember the tents, Gilbert? We would do the tents back east, the melody tents. So we would drive on the bus and he wouldn't put the air conditioner on

because he would say, the chops, I can't have for the chops. I can't have the AC. He'd say, if you don't like my bus, if it's too hot, go on the band bus. Well, it was fucking Sammy. I wasn't going to go on the band bus. I'm schvitzing and I'm on the thing and he's making the creel. It's 100 degrees. So he used to love orange crush and strawberry crush. It's big with the brothers. I don't know if you know this, Bill. Any fruit with a card, they love it. So he said, okay, we're stopping at the gas station. Next gas station, we're getting a soda. So we stopped at this gas station in Cohasset, Massachusetts. The bus opens up, Sammy Davis gets off and, you know, he would

dress during the day with all the stuff on. So he gets off the bus, the people at the gas station are freaking and we're standing in line, it's the band, it's me, it's him, at the vending machine to get a soda. And he was always so gracious, everyone would go before him. And I was so nervous. I was letting everyone go before me because I was so brand new, right? I just started working. So it's at the end of the line and it's me and Sammy's behind me. And it was in the days where you had to have coins for a soda. And I don't have any coins, and I turn around and I go, Mr. Davis, can you change a 20? And he looks at me, he goes, babe, a 20 is change.

Ha ha ha ha! Wow, a 20 years change. That's a great show. That's a great show. But he was the kindest man. Tell us that whole, all the stories, how you, you had that job opening for Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Well, that was in the intro where he pissed off. Well, you're pissed off, Jilly.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was in the intro where he pissed off. Well, you're pissed off, Jilly. Yeah. Yeah. Now, first, it was like Sinatra used to mispronounce your name. Yeah. Well, you know, I opened for him when he was really in the Twilight of his year. I mean, I hope from the last two years he was alive. Okay. So the memory wasn't incredible. and he called me Greg Barrett. Okay, instead of Brad Garrett.

And you know, I wasn't in show business long, but there was, you know, there's an old adage, you don't correct Sinatra. Right? So for the first two weeks, I'm taking a bow to another fucking name, you know, he's going like, ladies and a gentleman Greg Barrett and I'm out there taking about and what not to go off stage and I go on. Julie Rizzo was in the wings, I go Mister Rizzo can I ask you

so I said you know, Mister Sinatra is is pronouncing, you know, my name incorrectly. And he looks at me, he goes. Do you want the gig? OK, and I went, well, no, I'm having a wonderful time because I've been a friend of his 42 years, half the time, you don't know who the fuck I am. I said, OK, OK. But then the other night, about a week later, I'm,

you know, opening for him was a horror show because, you know, it was $200 a ticket back in the 80s. And that was a lot. And, you know, no one wants to see the opening act. And I'm in Atlantic City. And I'm just, I'm dying. I mean, I'm just eating it. And Julie would say, now remember, when Frank wants to go on, he'll tug on the cord. You never knew if you were doing 20, if you were doing 10, he would tug on the cord and you had to wrap it up. So I'm bombing for about 10 minutes and people are just going Frank, where's Frank? During my entire set, where's Frankie?

It's this type of stuff. And I feel a tug on the cord and I'm like, oh my God, out of all the nights, he wants to get on early, I'm gonna have to. So I say in a sarcastic way, but kind of, you know how we do jokes for ourselves? Gilbert, you're the king of that. Yes, absolutely.

You're the king of that. So I say, you're the king of that. You're the king of that. I so I say, you're the king of that. Yeah. So so I say, you've all been great. Stick around for Frank. Okay. And they didn't get it. And I get off stage. And as I pass Frank in the wings, I hear him say to Julie find out what that means. Okay. I'm in my dressing room and there's a there's a knock on the door and it's Julie and one of his big people Hank, you

know who was who made me look petite haha. And Julie goes. Frank wants to know what does it mean stick around for Frank. And I said what that was it was obviously a joke and he goes but they're here to see Frank. I said well that's that in their lives lies the joke. You see I said I was bombing so what I said stick around for Frank. I was making fun of myself because

why wouldn't they stick around for so I'm explaining it. And they're glazed off. So Julie, Julie looks at the bodyguard next to me goes, Mikey, what did you hear? And Mikey goes, well, I heard him say stick at the frame. Okay, so right away, I'm going, look, there's not a man alive who would say stick at the frame, especially on a microphone in Atlantic City, you know? And they were like, well, we don't get the joke.

And then all of a sudden I was opening for Liza. That was my punishment. And Dreesen was back. And Dreesen was back, yeah. So we just, D so recent was the main guy Of course, but you know once in a while, you know, he would fill in and Dries it would take the time up, but it was a time of my life. It was you know, there's nothing like it Two things with that story your your mom if I have this right your mom was offended that you were bowing to the yes

Yes, what did she tell you to do? She comes to me, she goes, I don't understand why you're bowing to someone else's name. Your name is Brad, it's not Greg. And like a schmuck, you're thanking him. I said, mom, it's Frank Sinatra, and I'm not in the point. She goes, sit him down, just sit him down. I go, I'm gonna sit Frank goes, sit him down. Just sit him down. I'm going to sit Frank down.

Sit him down and introduce yourself. Go, Frank, I'm Brad. And then he introduces you. Of course, there's a woman who's been married six times. So she had it down. But I remember, I mean, as a joke, the crew, they had a shirt. On one side it said, stick around for Frank.

And on the other side it said, Greg Barrett. And that was our tour gift. That's what they gave me at the end. But what happened with Liza, too, that she wound up in tears? I made a Liberace joke. Okay? And it was like the first night I was with it was it was about it was a happy joke. It was something we were in Vegas and I go if you go to the Liberace Museum, just just

don't sit down anywhere. You know, it was ridiculous. Not a great joke. She comes backstage crying crying. She goes, why would you make a joke about Liberace? And I really thought at this point that they're setting me up to, you know. It was just a joke.

It didn't mean anything. She goes, well, you know, he's my godfather. And I went, Liberace is your godfather? And I said it like that. And I said, boy, it's a little different than the movie. Right? And she was, you know, so I've never, you've been able to make a great living, Gil, saying what you want.

I'm still trying to figure out how to do that. Although I've lost a couple of jobs. Say what I want to. Yeah, but beautifully, but beautifully. Yeah, he goes down in big flames. I love it. Now, when you were on that infamous roast, yes, one of the most famous roasts that you had were on with that line after 9 11.

Right? Yeah. All right. How did you feel before you did it? And did you know it was gonna get that? And how much did you really care? It was funny. It's like, I wanted to be the first one to address the elephant in the room.

Cause the roast, Hugh Hefner was in New York and it was like a couple of days after September 11th. Two days, okay. So it was still smoking. Yeah, yeah, there were black clouds. And I remember saying, I have to leave early tonight. I have to catch a flight to LA. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a direct flight. We have to make a stop at the

Empire State Building. And they were booing and hissing and I thought at that point, well, I'd lost them as much as I could. And then I go into the aristocrats joke and they were screaming, they were howling. So it showed they- One right after the other? Yes. Wow, what a recovery. So, and it showed they needed to laugh at that point.

Yep, yep, that's a great. Now, you know, there's always rumors about stuff. How much flak did you really get? Because I think most of the comics were probably going, so brilliant, so bold, you broke the ice away. I mean, what was really, because I know deep down you're a sensitive, wonderful man. What was your takeaway from it? Yeah, I felt that the comics totally got me. And it was so different. Like, after the September 11 joke, I lost them as much as anyone could lose an audience.

And then they came back, like, screaming and howling and pounding their chairs. Wow. Oh, I remember after I said the line, somebody yelled too soon. And I thought it meant I didn't take a long enough pause between the setup and punch line. Did you say that?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, that's so great. Speaking of roasts, I would direct people and they're online to the Joan Rivers roast with YouTube guys. And Gilbert's bit about you being fucked by a leprechaun. Yeah, so great. You were so great.

You were so great on that. Which is Mario. Turns out to be Mario Cantone in the payoff. Oh, that was funny. I were so great on that. Turns out to be Mario Cantone in the payoff. Oh, that was funny. I remember. She was wonderful. When Joan came up, she said, oh, Gilbert Gottfried, when I watch him, I want to drive to Malibu and blow Mel Gibson.

Oh, that's so great. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. You were talking about old timers helping each other. You got you got a kind of a boost from an old timer from Jack Carter or early in your career and then indirectly Norm Crosby. That's right. Yeah. Jack Carter got me my first television gig on the Norm Crosby Comedy Shop. And boy, oh, boy, it was a horrendous few minutes.

I just, you know, did what I did. But he really gave me my first break, as did Norman. And yeah, yeah, he was very, very supportive. It's a funny guy, Jack, too. You know, he was supposed to play Kevin James, Dad in King of Queens. He went right down to the wire for that. Really?

I didn't know that. Yeah. And of course, it went to to a stiller, but he was a good actor. He was a funny, funny guy and you're very intense, I mean you know if you didn't like you know it and that's OK. We had a book here and he went and died on us. Is that what happened. Yeah, we to do it and it was something

like 2 days later. Oh man he would have been fun. Oh yeah, he was one one of those... You've had some amazing people on this show. How long have you done this for? Since 2014. Wow. That's unreal. It's been going. Good for you. Over 300. Including a lot of old-time comics like Pat Cooper and Barry Storch and...

Oh, I love those guys. Marty Allen. And Marty Allen. Oh, I love him. You know, we got whoever was still kicking. Sure, sure. Because we lost out on Jack. That was a killer. Yeah. But you know, like you, we're fans of this stuff.

We love this history. We love old Vegas. We had Tony Sandler here. Sandler and Young. Really? Oh, he just regaled us with stories of old Vegas, Maabo in Vegas. Marlboro and Vegas. Wow, that's incredible.

And how he was in Belgium when, like, the Nazis had taken over. Yeah, he had wild dreams. He had Nazis who would use his house as an office. They take over people's houses and live in them and use it as their headquarters. They go to people's houses in Belgium and they say to him just act normally act like nothing is happening. Yeah, he had a fascinating life. I can't believe that and he had no choice.

Why did the fuck. I mean you can't say, ah, you know, I got an Airbnb coming in. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. The Nazis.

Nazi occupied Belgium. What about Jackie Vernon, another great old timer you worked with? Oh, I loved him. He was great. I worked with Jackie Vernon, had to be 35 years ago, one of my first improv gigs. And it was the one that Bud Friedman had in, I want to say Palm Beach. It was one

that didn't last long. And I was the feature act. Jackie Vernon was closing, I mean, literally 35 years ago. And I knew of him through my parents and everything, and he was still doing the things with the slides. Here's my wife at the park. Here's my wife at the park. Funny, funny stuff. And I remember we both loved watches, and we both had fake watches on. I had a fake paddock on, and he had a fake Rolex.

And he goes, but you can't tell, right? You really can't tell. I go, you can't. He goes, look close, what does it say? I said, it says Bolex. He goes, yeah, Bolex, but you can't tell. So he says, he says, I got a guy in Miami who sells fake watches and the guy came down

and he had fake watches, $25 each, and we bought fake watches. And it was a rough, rough week and he really wasn't drawing. And I had no draw back then. And we, when it came time to get paid, we go to the back of the room and a guy who we hadn't seen all week, kind of an intimidating guy, very well dressed. He was like, we're not going to be able to pay you. And I was like, oh, the hell you're not. And Jackie grabs my arm like, you fucking stupid. I'm not used to word, but just relax. I go, well, what do you mean? How do you? Yeah, you guys didn't do well. So I run out. I call Bud, you know, on the payphone.

And Bud's like, what's the problem? What happened? And I said, I said, well, they're not paying us. Is he in a blue suit? I said, yeah, he's in the guys wearing a blue suit. Get out of there as fast as you can. And I'll handle it when you get back the color boy it was like it was owned by a couple of shady guys that were having a problem with Wow ready the room but then of course but but was good for it and he took care of me and Jackie but those are the fun

days there's a treat for you Brad, give him a little bit of Jackie. Here's some slides from my vacation. Here's Manuel leading us around the quicksand. Here we are from the waist up. Here's a bunch of ropes and picks and things. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, he would have loved it. Yeah. Did Fred Gwyn ever hear your impression of him? No. No. No. Too bad.

Too bad. I mean, these impressions honor these people, you know? Yeah. I used to love them. I used to love them. Now it's like, you know, when I'm dying, I'll pull one out. You know how it is. I remember Jackie Vernon was one of those impressions

I do when I entertain myself. And one of the bits I do where the audience would scratch their heads was Jackie Vernon and Death Wish. I mean if the police don't defend us, maybe we ought to do it ourselves. I never heard that one. It's great. It's great. It's great. Oh, he's got such a great voice.

You know, those gigs you used to do at Caroline's, Gil, where people would come expecting the Gilbert Gottfried that they heard on the Howard Stern show, and they'd get 10 minutes of material about Jackie Vernon and Corbett Monica. Oh, God. Corbett Monica. Completely Jackie Verne and Corbett Monica. Corbett Monica. Completely before. Corbett Monica.

You could watch these audiences, Brad. Just sit there and I don't know. I don't know what he's talking about. As Gilbert would go on and on to amuse himself. Right, right. It's the best. But you love this Vegas history like we do. I do.

What about Charo? You opened for Charo. I opened for Charo. That was my first opening gig. And she was hot. She was hot. She was fun. And boy, you know, it blew my mind.

And I don't know if John Murray knows this, but she could play a guitar. Oh, yeah. You couldn't believe I mean, like a Flamingo style guitar. She was unbelievable. Yeah, she studied with great guitar players. Yeah, she did. I remember I remember I used to run into her when I was doing Hollywood Squares. Yeah, they had her on. Yeah, it was hysterical. Those were fun in those days when Henry Winkler was a

producer and whoopie was the center, right? Yeah, I it was so funny because I grew up watching Hollywood Squares thinking, oh, you know, it's fun, but it's the bottom of someone's career. And then when I started doing and I thought, this is fun. I love it. It was fun and yeah, and people that never knew the show got to see the show and it was fun. They should bring back an R rated version

for like cable. Oh, that's a great idea. You know, and just do it like that. Whoopi told me she was trying to recreate that period. She was trying to recreate the days that you missed, Gilbert, that you reminisced about where people smoked cigarettes and drank on the air. Yes, that's right.

Old showbiz. Which reminds me, this is a great segue, because one of those guys that would have a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other was Jackie Gleason. When he did the magazine show from Miami. And now you you did you a terrific job as a great as an eight foot Jackie Gleason. Yeah. Well, you know what Ray used after Ray saw it, we went to the premiere

and he said, well, you know what Ray used after Ray saw it, we went to the premiere and he said, Well, you just did it. Jackie, the NBA years. It was crazy because, you know, Jackie was like 510. Yeah. And they had to build up the furniture. They had to make things look larger. They had to, you know, increase the doorway in the old set. We had an amazing director, Howie Deutsch directed it. And the people in the cast had to wear boots and lifts. So I didn't towel over them. Because the other thing, it was unbelievable.

It looks like when they would come back wide and show everyone's feet is a joke. It looks like we were all leaving a kiss concert. You know, we had like these huge boots that everyone wore that had the laces. But I knew how bombastic that Gleason and how brilliant he was when he would go off on Alice. You knew he would never hurt her. You knew he was just a big baby having a tantrum.

And that was his brilliance. And I knew that if I towered over her, I would become a bully and it would look intimidating as opposed to vulnerable. So when I sat down with them, I was like, how can you help me set design wise? Because they didn't want me to do Gleason. It was a CBS biopic back in the day when they used to do movie of the weeks. And they went out to everybody. And I was on Raymond at the time. And I said, I'd love to, I called Les Moonviss because they wouldn't let me audition. And I called them up and I said, Mr. Moonvvis, my name is Brad Garrett, I'm on Raymond. It's like, you know, Raymond was still, we were like in the middle of where we were. And I said, I'd love to be able to read, you know, for the Gleason movie that you guys are doing.

And he said, well, who do you want to play? And I said, well, I was hoping I could read for Trixie. I thought he was joking, right? And it's again, dead silence. And he goes, well, you know, we're out to John Goodman or Oliver Platt to play Gleason. And I said, well, they're brilliant and thanks for taking my call.

So those guys turned it down. And then it went to Mark Addy, who was a funny comedian. He was British, but he really had the look and he had the big blue eyes and he was kind of a bigger guy and the right height and but he was British and he had trouble losing the accent. And they called me at the they had no one at the last minute. They said get to Montreal if you want to do this and you shoot in two days. So the script was, you can only do so much on a network as opposed to, I always said, God, if it was only on cable or something where we can get away with more. But what the script was, it was really just a send up to the honeymooners. It was more of an impression of Gleason than really what he went through.

So I hired a buddy of mine is a great writer named Dave Boone. And I said, you know, I guess. Yeah, he was a writer on Hollywood Square. We all know Dave. Yeah, I love Dave. And he loves that old. Yeah, he loves that old time of, you know, that old that old Hollywood and that old Vegas thing too. And I said, it's reading like a characterization as opposed to this guy was brilliant, but he was a womanizer and he was an alcoholic and he had a lot of demons and we're not seeing any of this. And they were so under the gun and behind schedule, they weren't looking at the dailies as much as we were worried they would. So we just shot most of the stuff the way we wanted to

and went off script as much as we could while staying within practice and standards, of course. So it became a little bit of an anomaly as far as a movie for you know, for the network. And the people have been very kind about it. I really loved it. I mean, I had the time of my life. It was someone I dreamed of playing

and, you know, didn't think I'd be able to, but in true Gleason style. I got lucky. I was gonna say, in true Gleason style, you threw the script out the window. Yeah, exactly. What's interesting there too is like Gleason, now what people get embarrassed about and when they did the long-awaited Cedric the Entertainer honeymooners, they didn't use

the line at all. And that was him going, you know, bang to the moon, Alice. Yeah. And the funny thing is when you watch the honeymooners what people miss the point. It's like he would threaten her but you knew Alice had the upper hand. Exactly. He had the upper hand and every scheme that he ever came up with was to better her life. And that was the key. Everything he tried, everything he went after, even when she said,

it's not going to work, Jackie. And he would go, it's going to work, you know, whatever, whatever. It was all to give her that bigger apartment, that mink coat, that new car. So he was brilliant in being able to play that. And the writers, the writers were amazing. I talked to the only living writer, I shot this in 2000. Can't believe it's that long ago, but there was only one living honeymooners writer. And I go, what was it like? He said, I wish I had a dollar for every time I got hit in the face with the script. And I go, really? He goes, we were not treated well, but no one could make our words sing like that man. How about he said it to this day, you know, I think about how lucky I was, but

your average joke, he would turn into gold. He just had that. So he said it was kind of worth taking it because no one wanted to work for anybody else in 1952 because he was the king. There are there are stories, of course, we've talked about them on this show, Gilbert of him throwing writers paychecks in the swimming pool. You've heard these stories. Sure. Swim for the checks. You know, it's funny, I wanted to just interview his daughters and his wife who was alive at the time, his was funny, I wanted to just interview his daughters and his wife who was alive at

the time, his last wife. And they would have nothing to do with the filming. They did not want to be involved. And it really hurt my feelings because I was like, gosh, I want to give it some credit. I want to do it right. Can you let's talk about the good stuff? And they were like, no, there's nothing to discuss. And then after it came out, they came, she came to visit me, the wife, and we had a quick little hello and to sit down. And

it was really, really wonderful. But you could tell there was a lot of pain there, you know, I of course, there's pain. And, you know, God knows we all got pain, right? I heard a story like with his composer. Yeah. Oh, Sammy Spear? Sammy Spear. Yeah. And... Very good, Frank. Wow. I think he one time said to him, Sammy, go work on the music. It's never been any good. Yeah. I could hear that. go work on the music. It's never been any good.

I could hear that. Well, you know, he was such an incredible composer Gleason. Yeah. I was listening to one of his albums that somebody gave me just the other day. And these orchestrations, that was his thing. He wanted to be a musician and he has a few albums out you know that are like candlelight music and cheesy and fun you know but you listen to him and you go wow this is this is some music so he really you know guy with a lot of talents and a very good dramatic actor really good yeah really good yeah we've talked about soldier in the rain and and And of course the hustler of a hustler so brilliant and I loved what he did the last thing he did with Tom Hanks to me Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a genius. Yeah, you talked to Don Rio who wrote for him Did he did he tell you the stories of when Don when Don was running running till death? We had him here.

Really? He never talked about it. He wrote for the, you talked to him, he wrote for the Miami show. He wrote for the, he wrote. I spent a year with Don, I had no idea. No crime, Stan corrected, it wasn't the Miami show, it was those specials that they brought back in the 70s,

where they brought the honeymooners back. Yeah, yeah, okay. When they were really sweet. And Gleason made Don and his writing partner sit in a men's room He's got stories. He was seriously did he really? Yeah, he was abusing writers till the he gave them a he gave them a little love seat and a TV monitor that was in a men's room Was abusing writers to the end

You think you would know there's nothing more important. He's a guy with an unhappy life. I mean in many ways and certainly an unhappy childhood. And Gleason is another case of, there's been, there was Gleason, Gene Wilder, and Jan Murray that I all heard stories about their mothers died when they were young and they would go home they'd see a movie or whatever and they go home act it out and entertain their mothers that was their first audience yep yep I used to do that but my mom would walk out I would do my jokes and she'd say, I saw it with the original cast. You and Dave captured a lot of things accurately in the movie,

though the part where his father removed himself from the family photo albums was factual. That was, yeah. I mean, there were traumatic things in his life that made him the way. And you really got the you got the Brooklyn accent down so well. You know, I worked with a great vocal coach named Larry Moss at the time. And, you know, everyone thinks I'm from the East, but I was born and raised in Los Angeles.

So but my dad was from the Bronx and I felt, well, that's easy to do. And I met with the dialogue coach and he knew he was a huge Gleason fan. And I did a few lines from the script and he goes, no, no, that's the Bronx. And I was like, it's New York. He goes, no, no, no, it's not. He's from Brooklyn. And I had to relearn all the vowels and all the things all over again. And it was really, it was really exciting.

I never poured myself into so much research. The good thing about it, because Gleason was on CBS, is I was allowed into all of the archives. I was able to see things that no one saw. Outtakes, they didn't want anyone to see. Interviews, it didn't go well. You know, and my favorite one that everyone saw was the 60 minute interview when he was long in the tooth and in his seventies and ill.

And that's how we opened the movie. We did it with his last interview. And that was one of my favorite parts and being able to portray him. There's a great story that I found in doing research for this and going back and watching the Jackie movie, which is very good. You got nominated for an Emmy, by the way, we should point out. Your performance is wonderful.

Paul Lind was getting an entertainer of the year award at the Emmys. Do you know this story? No. Jackie was hosting the show and Paul Lind was presented with the entertainer of the year award and he said, I can't take this award. I'm standing next to the funniest man in history and he handed the award to Jackie Is that right? True story and Gleason never saw it coming

Did Gleason take it? I don't know. I don't know. I have to do a little deeper research, but how about that? Wow, that's amazing. Oh, I love Paul Lin Yeah, he's come up here a few times Yeah, has he really? Yeah, Paul Lin As a subject come up here a few times. Yeah, she really yeah, the subject. He's still around no he's come up with a topic. Oh, he's come up as a top skews. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

112. But he looked right he looked right he came over Jackie Vernon. I really need to buy my home. I really need to do my homework. Paul Lin was famous for being a major Jew hater. Yeah. Oh, very anti-Semitic. Yeah. That's been confirmed.

And one of the producers, one of the producers on the Hollywood, the new Hollywood Squares that both of us were on also worked on the original Hollywood Squares. Jay Reddick. Yes, yes. And I was talking to him, he said, like during lunch at Hollywood Squares, all the other performers they had dine together and tell stories and laugh. Pullin would get bombed out of his skull, get really angry and go,

I hope those fucking Jews. The reason I don't have a career. The Jews held me down. That's the best. Good Paul Lynn. Good Paul Lynn. We got a redic here. Gil, if you ever want to hacky act, I can help you.

I'm doing quite well on my own with that. You're still one of the most brilliant, man. You always have been. Thank you. You always have been. Thank you. We've speculated about what Jackie thought of Carson basically kind of lifting Reggie to do our fern.

Yeah, he had to hate it. It wasn't subtle. No, it wasn't. It was a lift. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, it's true subtle. No it wasn't it was a lift. Yeah, yeah for sure but yeah, sure and probably didn't care and the the other one was the lift from Jonathan winters and Marty Frickett yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you find Johnny personally Brad you did you did

3 shows with them. Well, you know always very gracious always always nice I you know it's probably a fill in you know the 4th 5th call to be honest he would come by and say hi before you go on always always a gentleman, you know. But I didn't have that in like a lot of the boys, you know, yeah. But but as long as we're talking about the Carson show do to do tell us the Cosby story because it's so much fun.

No, no, I was I was working in Vegas. Do my first Vegas gig I was hoping for crystal Gale the country singer sweet sweet, sweet lady, kind. And I get a call in my little room at the Desert Inn and he goes, hey Brad, how you doing, man? And I had impressionist friends and I really thought someone was fucking with me, you know, and I went, hey, what's going on?

He goes, listen, I got a question. I'm going to be guest hosting the Tonight Show tonight. And there's a comic that's not doing it. And your name came up and I thought you could do it. And I said, I said, well, I'm opening for Crystal. No, I'm at the Hilton. I I said, well, I'm opening for Crystal. No, I'm at the Hilton. I'm going to, we're going to fly.

Johnny is sending his jet. And Johnny's jet is going to pick us up. And you will be back by 7.30. So I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe it. I'm definitely not on anyone's radar. I had just done star search and maybe, you know, he felt I was safe and, you know, wasn't it.

So I get on, they picked me up. I get in the limo next to me is Cosby. He's reading USA Today and he's on the front page. And I'm going, thank you for this opportunity. No problem. He doesn't say anything, it's a short drive to the airport. We get on, it was Carson's jet, had the JC on the tail. I can't believe any of this.

And all I'm thinking of, how many people could have said no or were unavailable before I got this? Because you know, I'm thinking of how many people could have said no or were unavailable before I got this because I'm being realistic. So I get on the, he opens up, and this is when The Cosby Show was number one. He opens up another paper. I think it was all the LA Times. He's on the front of the calendar and I'm like, I'm sure I'm frozen. I'm not, I don't know what to say.

I've never been on a Learjet. And there's a bowl of fruit right in front of us. And he goes, have a Kiwi. And I said, thank you. I'm good. I said, I had an apple on the train. Okay. He didn't, he didn't.

He didn't get it. He didn't get it. And I'm like, great, I'm fucking bombing before. So we're about to land. And he goes, hey, I heard that you do an impression of me. And I said, yes, yes, I do. Actually, I thought it would be fun. My set, I'm closing with it tonight in my set on the show.

And he goes, don't do that. And I have my set, which is, you know, it's not a barn burner. I have my set figured out. And I figured, you know, I'm doing the, you know, what's in the McNugget, every hat you fucking like. But I'm saying to myself, if I close with Cosby and he's sitting right there, how can

you hack out better than that? And so when he said, don't do it, I went, why? And he went, well, because you don't need to be yourself. And I said, well, I'm doing four impressions. And he looked at me, goes, OK, do three. And I was like, oh, my God, how do you not do Cosby? When I go out there and start to do my set. It's not great.

It's going over. It's the whole thing. I as I'm getting closer to my five and a half minutes, I can tell I'm not going to end strong. So I go into Cosby and as I end, the audience erupts. Oh, my God, this giant Jew is doing Bill Cosby. They're thinking. And I look over at the desk and he's looking down writing something on a piece of and I and I know he's not happy and he didn't have me over you know I didn't come over to sit and it wasn't strong

enough of a set anyway to be honest now I have to fly back with him on the jet. Wow. I get to the airport. We get on Johnny's jet. Not a word. Not a word. And I'm dying inside. I'm like, Oh my God, it wasn't a great set. But now I pissed off the biggest comedian in fucking history. And I'll never forget, not a word on the plane. You know, it was only a 40 minute flight on a Lyric, but it's a long 40. And we're about to land and I go, yeah, what the hell, I'll try the kiwi. I grabbed the fruit and he gets off and I put my hand out and I go, thank you. And he goes, yeah, right. And just shook and I mean, went away and then I didn't see him till 10 years later at a CBS party.

Just jagged right by me. But out of desperation, you know, you're thinking yourself. What do I do? I piss him off on live television or do I get out with a strong six? I took the six. You made the right choice. You think? Why leave with a three when you could get a six?

Gilbert, tell Brad what you what you found out a three when you could get a six. Right? Gilbert, tell Brad what you found out about Bill when you did the show and what explained his occasional absences. Very, very weird. I was talking to two of the writers and they said in his schedule, it was printed very neatly, in his schedule there would be an hour set aside to teach comedy to

Asian models. Is this for real? That's what they told me. They were dead serious. Isn't that gold? That's why you see so many funny Asian models nowadays. Sure. That's why you see so many funny Asian models nowadays. Sure, sure.

I mean, it's just a model or an Asian alone would be a long course. It's a long, but you put them together and it's a... No, no, this is what you do. When you hold the top ramen, don't eat it, sip it. Just sip it. And then I'm gonna put this in the top ramen don't eat it sip it just sip it and then I'm gonna put this in the top ramen ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah No, I meant like 60 and older Cosby. Oh, thank you. All the Cosby impressions you hear are like young Cosby. Yeah, well I'm old.

That's probably why. That's why I saw Lucy Liu on stage and she was going, Hey, this is Cosby! Now she's funny. Yeah. See, that's funny. Oh, yeah. See, that's where. Oh, my goodness. We're going to send this episode to Bill in the joint.

Three years! I told you! Quiet! Thanks for having me. I do appreciate it. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. Can I ask you a couple of questions from listeners, Brad? Sure. This is from Lex Passeris, who's a friend of ours, who's a retired director in LA,

he's the director of Golden Girl and such. Does Brad by chance remember what he gave out as crew gifts for the pilot of his short-lived Nebraska set series First Impressions? Well, I'll tell you what's interesting because we had Terry Hughes directed that pilot and he was the big director on Golden Girls. One of the nicest guys to this day that I ever worked with

and it was my first show and I wasn't very good and he really helped me. I don't remember what was the crew gift. All I could think of is probably an apology note. First of all, they took me, they saw me do stand up and they said, we're going to write a show around you. You're a guy in Nebraska. I swear to God. I swear to God. I said, I said, let me guess. I run a, I run a temple in Nebraska and there's a cross burning. And I try to figure out, I said, why don't you make me from Miami or from Brooklyn? No, the show was written about a guy in Nebraska. I said, they dyed my hair. They put me in a plaid shirt and penny loafers. I looked like Ellen DeGeneres. It

was it was unbelievable. I said, but why but they go, could you lose the New York vibe? I said, I said, yeah. And I literally they gave me a daughter who was blonde and blue-eyed, so it looked like, you know, I kidnapped her. I kidnapped her, brought her home to live with me. None of it made sense. We should have just put Skip Stevenson in it. Skip, it's funny.

Skip would have been great. Kip Adhada. Or Kip Adhada. Somebody who looks like that. Skip would have been great. Yeah, Kip Adhada. Or Kip Adhada. Somebody who looks like that. What were the gifts? God, I can remember. I'll have to call and ask him.

He was obviously there or he was a member of the crew. It could have been penguin pajamas. I had a penguin thing back then. Quick one from Luke Simon. I had the pleasure of seeing Brad in The Odd Couple with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. Any fond memories? An incredible, first of all to share a stage with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, the toasts at Broadway was pretty, pretty amazing. I learned a lot from Nathan Lane.

He's become a wonderful, well, I consider him a friend, you know, every time I call he's become a wonderful friend. Well, I consider him a friend. Every time I call, he's like, I'm back, I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. You know, stage is a different thing, but I think for a comic to do a play, especially on Broadway, there's nothing more exciting

because you have that live audience every night. And boy, talk about nights that the same joke will land and the same joke will die the next like in our stand up. I think it's a closest gift for for a stand up if you can cross that bridge and and and do something in in stage because it's the biggest high but it had a ball. You were Murray the Cop? I was Murray the Cop and I was the understudy for Nathan and I go three months and he was never sick because Nathan never got sick and I got on a plane, I'm on my way home, I land,

they go Nathan has laryngitis, can you come back for two shows? I get on a plane and I played Oscar for a couple nights. Wow. And literally shit myself because you know you're not practicing that role, you'll rehearse it once a week when you're a stand-in, but it was such an amazing role and to follow in Nathan's footsteps is nothing you really dream about when he's been doing it three months before, but it turned out okay, I had a ball. That's a show that's very near but it turned out OK at a ball.

That's a show that's very near and dear to Gilbert's heart and mine we would have we would have loved to see you in that. Thank you Gilbert you you would be an incredible Felix. I've never thought of that. How about that yeah. Gosh amazing thank you amazing you get you get get Jackie Vernon to play Oscar. They could cast Gilbert as Vinny. That would be a great Vinny.

Oh, he'd be a great Vinny. Yeah. Yeah. Such a good show. It's amazing the writing, how it still stands up. I mean, it's older jokes they're they're all so good. You know there are there's so many he was such a writer Neil Simon incredible. You know the TV series is 50 years old this year. No yeah and the other 1970 right sir. The other I love that show.

Drives me crazy and Frank and I have discussed this and that's that both the movie and TV series Nobody is alive from it Yeah, well you got to go deep. There's one thing. There's one pigeon sister I think one pigeon sister is alive And if you want to go as I said a couple episodes to Eleanor Donahue who played Felix's girlfriend Miriam. Okay. She's around. Not taking our calls.

The first celebrity I ever met was Jack Klugman. I went to summer camp with his son and he was living at the Outrigger apartments in Malibu and one day I didn't know who his dad was. He goes, hey, you want to go to the beach? And because you know, we didn't do sleepover camp because you know, Jews raised in LA, there's no sleeping over. You can't sleep. That's how you, you know, you go to sleepover camp. Next thing you know, you're in a musical. So he said to me, he goes, hey, you want to go to sleepover camp, next thing you know, you're in a musical. So he said to me, he goes, hey, you want to go to the beach and we go to my dad's apartment. I walk in there and you know, I was 11. So the odd couple was on 71. Right? It was, yeah, I walk in there and there's Jack Klugman in front of the TV yelling during a horse race.

He was sweating out a horse race from Santa Anita. He had it on closed circuit. And I just, man, I never forgot it. How about that? Mr. Klugman, he goes, hey, how you doing, how you doing? Good to meet you, good to meet you. You know, it's like one of those things.

And I was just like, wow. Adam Klugman, right? How did you know that? Yeah, well that's, well, you know. Do you know him? I don't know like, wow. Adam Klugman, right? How did you know that? Yeah, well, that's, well, you know. Do you know him? I don't know him, but. I wonder what happened to him. He's around. Adam Klugman, yeah.

He had two sons and a younger one, yeah. Wow. This Frank, this Frank, where'd you get Frank? This guy's cool. Where'd you get this guy? God bless you, man. We're trying to get Chris Lemon and Charlie Mathow to come on here and talk about their dads.

Won't that be a wonderful episode? Oh, would that be amazing. Yeah, we're almost close to closing that up. Oh, would that be incredible. But let's talk to you about a couple of dramatic roles. And I have to say, your range and the work that you did in Fargo as the mobster, am I getting the name right, Joe Bula?

Yeah, Joe Bula. Joe Bula. You were absolutely terrifying. And it's hard for somebody who is as recognizable as you and as known as you are, and is known for being a comedian as you are, to disappear into a role like that. And to me, you disappeared into it instantly.

I find, I love drama. Well, to be candid, it started really, people would come see my act and they would go, try drama. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's only a half joke. I once had a casting director say that to me. They came to see my act when I was like starting out.

She goes, you know, you're like a big intimidate, try drama. And it was after she saw my set at the ice house. And yeah, that's when I started drinking heavily for about 20 years. It was after that meeting. You were so good. I love drama.

I love it, you know. You had ice water in your veins, that character. Just, Tarev, I mean, I know you a little bit and I still was frightened by this portrayal. And you did not do, you famously said that you did not do your own stunts. It was really, you know, again, I'm so uncoordinated and I didn't have many stuff to do.

So uncoordinated to the point where they were like the director said they said could you run like for any amount of distance and I went you know, I got a bad back and I've never I've never been a great runner and they said okay, all right. Well, we're shooting in the snow tomorrow and I need you to run. And I was like, well, how far?

And the guy goes, a quarter mile. I don't know. I went a quarter mile. He says, well, we're shooting it on a crane. So as you're running in the snow, the camera comes up and that's how the and I said, I said, first of all, I I got I got a bunion. This is what I say to this guy because you have a what?

I said, I got a bunion. He goes, he goes, my grandmother had one of those. I said, there you go. What kind of a runner was she? And so he says, well, you know, we'll make it work. This is Hollywood. He says, we'll make it work. The next day I'm supposed to run with a rifle. He says, we're going to follow you in a drone because the crane never showed up because it couldn't get through the snow. I said, no problem. I didn't know from a drone, it was a few years ago.

He said, so the drone is gonna follow you as you're running. So he goes, start as fast as you can and when you're winded, just walk. I run about 12 feet and I can't feel my left arm. I'm thinking I'm having a fucking heart attack. So I start to walk fast. He goes, cut. He goes, the drone was in front of you.

I go, well, slow the drone down. He goes, the drone, we have it on the slowest speed. You have to be able, he goes, are you running as fast as you can? I said, I swear to you. He goes, did you ever play ball? I said, no, I never played. I said, if I played ball, would I be running in the snow in Fargo? I never played ball.

They had a higher a stunt man to jog. Hilarious. Yeah. The stuntman comes off the plane. He looks at me and goes, I'll tell you, been a stunt man for 31 years. Last week, I was jumping out of a plane. The other day I went through a window. Thanks to you, I only got a jog. So.

I am gonna tell our listeners to watch all three seasons of Fargo, but you're in season two. And Noah Hawley is pretty brilliant. He is as brilliant as they get as a writer director. He's brilliant. And when you saw season one, you one you said yourself this guy is going to be how's he going to top that. He's amazing and and hiring comedians in dramatic roles

like Chris Rock is in the new season. I can't wait to see it and you and he gave me a shot he gave me a shot. I mean I had to read for my agent got me in there and he was open mindedminded, you know? It's like, well, I know I'm from Raymond, but he was open-minded and Noah gave me a shot and I'm grateful for that. You were really terrific. And speaking of running and our listeners know where I'm going with this one, Gil. Yeah. Oh God.

I'm going to make you tell Brad. That David Steinberg? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love him. Oh God. I'm gonna make you tell Brad. The David Steinberg? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love him. Cause I wanna see Brad's face as he reacts to it. I was doing a show that was directed by David Steinberg. I think I was mad about you.

Yes, yes. He directed me in an episode of that. There you go. And there was one scene where I had to say a line and then run off stage. So I say a line and then run off stage. So I say the line and I run off stage and David very uncomfortably says, um, Gilbert, can you run a little faster? And I said, you want me to run faster?

And he goes, no, no, no, not really faster, but a little more gracefully. And I said, gracefully? And he goes, yeah, not so choppy. And then he finally puts his head down and sighs and goes, can you run less Jewish? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can you run less Jewish? So great. I never get tired of one of my favorites.

Yeah, he's a gem. We had him here. He is. Oh, he is a gem. You have answered a million questions about Raymond. And we won't ask you. We won't ask. We've had Phil here twice. Oh, so by the way, and we love him. So to tell you, we just we want to ask you to just say a couple of words about the late great Peter Boyle and the late great Fred Willard.

Yeah, these, you know, I'll never forget when I got the job for Raymond and knowing that Peter Boyle was going to play our dad and what fans were my dad took me to see my my father took me to see young Frankenstein when I was 12. And I never saw my dad laugh harder in his life and I said memory never left me the joy he had from Mel Brooks and blazing saddles and you know all that great stuff. So when we knew Peter Boyle was aboard. We were so excited and Ray looks at me he goes you know

something's are meant to be. Okay, it's all right. Thank you. He goes now you don't get it. He said your father is young Frankenstein and you look like Frankenstein. Peter you know Peter could have been anything further obviously from his character sure so incredibly politically involved very very bright smart John Lennon's best friend John John Lennon's

best friend who was his best man at his wedding and did Peter talk about the flatulence I mean did Phil talk about no probably wouldn't know you I mean did Phil talk about no probably wouldn't know you know about the flatulence problem with Peter. Please tell us. Okay. It's a little long-winded but you'll fix it in post. So to speak. Exactly. But you know early in year one you know because show was, the whole family was always on the set most of the time together. That's what the show was.

About episode 10 or 11, we all notice in our own way that there's this, someone's letting it go on the set. Okay? And when this happens mysteriously, they always think it's the big person. My whole life, if someone farts at a party, I get the stink out of it. It just because they always figure,

it's the bigger guy, he probably has, he's the same size colon we do, I'm sure he can't control it since he's a fucking circus boy right. And I have I have an olfactory issue I have a thing with smells. I don't do well I don't do and I over cologne I over wash raise a germaphobe so he's always with the parole by about episode 12 we're in a camera blocking day

and it smells like something is the the focus. It feels like it's died it was resurrected and it came back to die. It was resurrected and it came back to die again. It's beyond... So Ray and I, he looks at me and he goes... Is it you? Just like that. I've known him for 12 weeks. And I said, I said, let me be honest with you.

If it was me, I would have taken my own life 10 fucking years ago. I go, it's not you, right? He goes, no, you think it's Doris? And I go, I don't know. He goes, I don't know if it's Patty, she's a Republican. She's probably not allowed to fart. We're talking it out and I go, he goes, there's no way it's the little girl, right?

There's no way she could pack that kind of a punch. I said, there's no way. He says, all right, well, he says, all I can tell you is this, I'm literally forgetting my lines. It's that strong. Cut to the next night. We're filming in front of an audience.

The family is off the set, but we're huddled together because we can't be in the sight of the kitchen door. It's a scene where the whole family is mid-argument and we all walk in. Camera A breaks down, the director says, we're on a bit of a hold, we have to fix the camera. Me, Doris, Patty, Peter huddled in like this and here it comes.

And it's, we don't hear it, you never hear it. And it's, we're this close to each other. And it's brutal. And Doris's makeup is running and Ray's giant fucking Sicilian nose is getting all the air that's available in this. And I'm looking down at my shoes and out of nowhere, Peter Boyle goes, sorry. He goes, but I gotta be honest, I got two more coming.

And Ray goes, how bad is your problem? He says, how bad is your ass problem that you know you have two in the chamber? I'll never forget it. And we were left. Now, you would think, you would think, okay, good. It's year one. It's gonna, the cat's out of the bag.

It's gonna stop. It didn't stop. It didn't stop. It didn't stop. Now we knew who it was, and we just, you know, and he goes, and Peter goes, it's been an issue. It's been an issue for a long time. Yeah, so that was the Peter Boyle thing. I'm weeping.

Yeah, yeah. Wow. He was a prince, he was a prince. A, wow. He was a prince. He was a prince. A smelly prince, but a prince. I think Phil did tell us that he turned down the Popeye Doyle role in French Connection. Yeah, you didn't wanna bring that up.

Yeah. Yeah, it was right after he did the movie Joe. Right. At Little Independent, he was on a huge role. And... A part Gleason was considered for, by the way. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, the fact that... That little independent, he was on a huge role. A part Gleason was considered for, by the way. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, the fact you know your history. And then, we've talked about it on this show.

Was Sinatra also? I believe so. Yeah. Well, he was playing those parts at that point, Tony Rome. Yeah, was that after the Manchurian candidate or before? Well, French Connection would be 71 and the Manchurian candidate was in the 60s. So yeah, yeah So after and just tell us a couple of words about a giant that we lost and that Your friend and co-star Fred Willard. Yeah. He was just you know, the magic about Fred is

Kind of the magic about Martin Maul. That's maybe why they were perfect improv partners is he just made everything better. Every joke, his delivery, his dryness, he, you know, he had a way of playing the dumb guy without playing the dumb guy. He did it so subtly. It's like when you play dumb guys, okay, everybody gets it. When he played his character, he was the only one in the room that thought he was brilliant as that dumb guy.

He thought he was above everyone as that character. So that's what made it, you know, what I call in comedy a twofer. You know, you give a guy a line, he gets two laughs out of it. The delivery was just, you know, the best. And you couldn't find a kinder guy. And it was a real loss, but you know what?

We're so lucky we get to do what we love. Everyone in this podcast is doing what we dreamed of, what we loved. And you take a lot of hits in the business, but we have to remember you're going to walk by a million people in your life, and very few get to do what they love. And you could tell with Fred Willard that it never got old to him, that he was grateful every day. Great scene stealer. What you tweeted about him was moving. You said it was an honor to share the stage with him.

It was, it was. And I mean, it was really hard sometimes not to go up and laugh in front of people. You know, you almost prayed you didn't have a scene with Willard or Chris Elliott. Because, you know, you almost prayed you didn't have a scene with Willard or Chris Elliott because, you know, Chris Elliott, I just had the hardest time keeping it together in the scene with him because he had, he just brought, you know, he had a toolbox of stuff comedically and Fred did too, you know.

Look at those jeans for Chris. You got that right. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, jeans for Chris. You got that right. Yeah. No two funnier guys than those two guys. You're right. For my money. As we wind down, I want to thank Brad personally for an experience that I had with him, which is the two

days that you came to co-host The View. And I thought that would have ended the show. Yeah. My co-writer and I laughed as much as I've laughed during this episode. Thank you. That was. show. I would my co-writer and I laughed as much as I've laughed during this episode. Oh, thank you. That was.

Boy, I had a lot of fun. That was a magical two days. It was amazing. The immediate hate mail on Twitter. It was just because Twitter was brand new. And I remember the PAs in the wings going, oh, they hate him in Atlanta. Yeah.

Yeah. The funny thing is that Barbara, you were there two days in a row. Barbara loved you the first day. You were a shiny new toy and she was absolutely fascinated and amused to death by you. Not so much day two. Not so much day two.

Not so much day two. Yeah. Well day two. Not so much day two. Yeah. Well, listen, look, she's not alone. You know what I mean? She's not alone. I'm a tough cup of coffee. What do you think happened day two, Frank? I just didn't stop.

You did, yeah, you were just hammering it and hammering it. You went for broke from the beginning. Look, we weren't used to having a co-host like that. To having a loose cannon in the morning meeting in the makeup room. It was like a hurricane blew in. So if I had a talk show, I should just name it Let Me Talk.

And it's not about anybody else. It's not about anybody else. I want to recommend your wonderful book. It's too late. When the Balls Drop. People can still get it. Listen, listen. I got 900 copies in the garage.

We move books on this show, Brad. Pre-signed, pre-signed. Gilbert will appreciate the fact that in a politically correct moment, you didn't want to refer to midgets as midgets. So you referred to them as ground angels. Yeah.

Yeah. The book is filled with funny stories. Thank you. And it's more than a showbiz memoir. It's also it's about marriage and child rearing and, and aging. My wife, we downloaded the Kindle, my wife read the forward, what gave the title, basically the reason for the title and she said, you got to run in here and read this. We were, it's just that funny and I want to tell people to find it.

That's how many friends I have in the business. I had to write my own forward I don't think that's usually done right yeah you could have called Gil yeah yeah Gil or yeah Gil wouldn't it I would never give him that pressure but I miss you Gil I remember when you work the club in Vegas we still talk about it. You destroyed for an hour and how everyone wanted me to send you love. Oh, thank you. He did a whole hour?

Oh, he did. Wow. He just destroyed it, man. We were crying, crying. Thank you. Gil, you're usually looking at your watch at 32 minutes. I am. Yeah, I know I am.

They're not through with the intro when I'm on my radio. Yeah, they are. The intro, exactly. And I also want to recommend, like I said, season two of Fargo. And to our listeners, and people do take our recommendations for reasons known only to them, Brett, to find the episodes of Law and Order SVU, which is a different side of you,

a different side of your talent. And really, again, very impressive. I hate to tell you that you play a creepy, scary guy very convincingly. I'm a good crick. Yeah. Are people yelling Kramer at you on the street? I get Kramer a lot.

That's when you know the career is over. I get Kramer all the time. And it's, and like with Sinatra, I'm going to go with it. That's it. You know? Well, Kramer and Audra said, Jerry! You know, I just think I'm going to go for it, because you know, the bloom's off the rose.

So they have no idea who I am anymore. And let's plug your foundation, the Maximum Hope Foundation. Thank you. the Rose. They have no idea who I am anymore. And let's plug your foundation, the Maximum Hope Foundation. Oh, thank you. You're doing important work. Yeah, Maximum Hope, we help families that have children with life-limiting illnesses and we help them with daily necessities. And you could find out what we do at www.... Is there a dot? Yeah, MaximumHopeFoundation.org.

And you're holding poker tournaments and things of that nature to raise money? We raise money at the club in Vegas, and we do poker tournaments. And it just, you know, there really aren't many foundations for families that are struggling taking care of a child that's very ill. And we literally help them with daily necessities,

whether it's groceries or car payments or rent. And they get help within 48 hours. And it's really cool. Good for you. Very lucky to be here. Good for you. That's valuable. Oh God.

All right. My chest hurts. Gilbert, what else do you have for this man? You gotta get out more, Frank. I know. Well, Darrah's on my case because? You gotta get out more, Frank. I know. Well, Dara's on my case because I haven't been out of the house in 80 days. Yes, I understand.

And one day we'll- Hey Dara, so cute. What? One day we'll have to get- Cutie. One day we'll have to get together and see who sold less books. Oh my God.

No one's gonna make the drive. I got your beat, Gil. Let me to make the drive. I got your beat, Gil. Let me save you the drive. I beat you by about 15,000. It was, it was, it was unbelievable. It was unbelievable. So I've never heard of a book that literally there's like three papers, three hardcovers, three hardcovers.

It went to paperback like an hour after the, an hour after it landed. It was unbelievable. Brad, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, but I tell you, we've done 320 of these. I've read a lot of books. Thank you. Laughed from start to finish. So stop reading. Stop reading. No one cares. You have to do what Gilbert tells you. Look at the size of them. Do what Dara said. That's how you keep your life right. I am afraid of Dara. And I gotta tell you, Gilly, I love your special.

And you know what I love? That Halloween night. It made me well up because I used to remember when I would once in a while miss Halloween because I was on the road. And I just loved that special. And I love that you brought the humanity into it. You'll always have the humor, but that you brought the humanity. And we got to see that side of you and your beautiful family is such a tribute.

Oh, thank you. So kudos to you, my friend. Thank you. John, get some help. And Frank, I hope you never have to go back to The View. In a week. Seriously, you're still there? Yeah, I'm on hiatus for a week. You're making the Oprah money now.

Good for you. Do you see Dave? Will you give him our love? I will. I will. I talk to him all the time. Thank you for that. Please do. I owe him a call. Thank you. He's the best. I don't know when I've laughed more at a show, Gil. That was...

Maybe the last show. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So So So So Thanks for watching!