Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Dino Stamatopoulos

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

Emmy-winning writer, producer, musician and monster kid Dino Stamatopoulos (“Mr. Show,” “TV Funhouse,” “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”) joins Gilbert and Frank for a darkly funny conversation about savage chimps, cross-dressing puppets, bad horror movie tropes, the spectacular failure of "The Dana Carvey Show" and the creation of his wildly original Adult Swim series, "Moral Orel" and "Mary Shelley's Frankenhole." Also: Ken Jeong climbs into a Godzilla suit, Robert Smigel sends up Bozo the Clown, Gilbert pulls off a shameless Halloween scam and Dino hangs with the legendary Forrest Ackerman. PLUS: Iggy Pop! Zeppo Marx! “The Ambiguously Gay Duo"! "I Walked with a Zombie"! In praise of Scott Adsit (and Charlie Kaufman)! And Dino's character fakes his own death on "Community"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is a producer, occasional director, occasional podcaster, actor, voice actor, musician, a fellow monster kid, and an Emmy-winning television writer. You've seen or heard his work on dozens of influential, admired comedy shows, including The Ben Stiller Show, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Mr. Show with Bob and David, The Dana Carvey Show, The Late Show with David Letterman, TV Funhouse, Community, The Jack and Triumph Show, and two boldly original Adult swim programs that he wrote created and appeared in moral oral

and mary shelley's frankenhold as an actor you've seen him in all or most of these programs playing everything from a mummy to a kiddie show wizard to an ass kissing thanksgiving turkey to an alcoholic crow to michael jackson to the grim reaper himself He's also played the memorable character Alex Starburns, Osborn, on the hit NBC series Community, a character he later insisted be killed off. While creating some of the most provocative comedy of the last three decades, provocative comedy of the last three decades, this man has worked with the best comedy minds in the entertainment business including Dan Harmon, Robert Smigel, Dana Carvey, Conan O'Brien, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, Judd Apatow, Sarah Silverman, Scott Atson, Charlie Kaufman, and possibly even me, Gilbert Gottfried. He's also the producer of an Oscar-nominated animated feature, Anomalisa, and he also happens to be one of the founders of Starburns Industries and Starburns Audio, the companies that bring you this very podcast. Frank and I are happy to welcome to

the show one of the most daring and original writers on the planet. And a man who mostly dislikes Son of Frankenstein. Dino Stamopopolis. Dino Flavin. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- Devin, Devin, Devin Flivenpoffel. It's pronounced De-no-stam-a-na-na-na-na-na. Gilbert, what was the point of our earlier call to go over the pronunciation of Stamatopoulos? Yes, well, look, I started this. I started this show by not mentioning you or the name of the show.

You're consistent. So we're off to a good start. Dino, welcome. After that introduction, I'm exhausted. I mean, is there anything more to say about me? I don't know. You've done a lot. Now, granted, Son of Frankenstein, really slow moving.

Slow moving. And just feels long. But I got to say, what saves the movie is Bela Lugosi as a hero. Bela Lugosi, yes. Definitely. It's fine as ever. But, you know, they, like, so they didn't have a script. Like, they threw the script away and they were just like pages were coming in day after like

and then i guess they they didn't have any time to edit so you can't really blame the uh the director but boy you know there's there's moments where it's just you walk the kid up from downstairs to upstairs and they don't cut away or anything yes and and basil rathbone even says we're almost there like he's talking to us like yeah yeah keep watching yeah and and yeah but i loved legosi in it he's great he's great yeah and and uh Yeah, and Lionel Atwill was fun. But the movie, it goes on forever. Yeah, I edited it down to a 45-minute movie, and it's great.

Yes. You also, you know, somebody we had on this show, Dino, you'll get a kick out of, because I noticed that you parodied the character of The Sun, played by Donnie Dunnigan, who's got a Texas accent. In one of the episodes of Franken-Hole, I think it's the Wolfman episode, he turns up. Yeah, my friend K.K. Dodds does that. A woman does his voice. So that doesn't bother you, the fact that Basil Rathbone's son is played by a kid with a Texas accent?

Oh, that bothers me. That's why we joked about it. But he, at least like Basil Rathbone, had a round face and curly blonde hair. Yeah. Yes. He looked like Harpo. He should be Harpo's kid.

Yes. And we had him on the show. We had him. He's around. And he surprised us because we thought thought we'll do a short episode. He'll be good for five minutes. We made it a two-parter. Wow.

He was really good. Yeah, I'm sure he's interesting. He had a very interesting life, right? He was like in the, didn't he fight? Yeah. Yeah, he's a decorated war veteran. Yeah. Also, he was the voice of Bambi.

Bambi, right. The young Bambi, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's a decorated war veteran. Also, he was the voice of Bambi. Bambi, right. The young Bambi, right? But as Frankenstein's son, you're expecting him to go Shazam! So is that, I know it's a different, it's not universal,

but does that suggest that maybe he's Gene Wilder? Oh, that's interesting. Oh! That's interesting. I never gave that any thought. You got a couple of grievances with that film. You don't like when Krogh says,

haven't we heard the name Frankenstein enough around here? I heard you on the Frankenstein Minute. The place is named Frankenstein. Yes! I'm always waiting when the conductor says, Frankenstein? Yeah. I always thought, and then next stop, Wolfman and Dracula.

Yeah, yeah. That would be great if he said, next stop, Frankenstein's monster. Yes. Well, I think Roland Lee proved that he was no James Will. And also the second movie is an impossible act to follow. Yeah. They're both great. Both first and second

movies are great in their own way. Also, one thing I have to say for the director is there was that story that the studio was going to hire L legosi for a week right and he said no no he's gonna do the whole movie yeah you got to give him credit for that that's great that's amazing one of your other gripes i heard you on frankenstein minute you were saying how

does bringing the monster back to life gonna vindicate his father yeah which is a hell of a question yeah i don't think they thought too much about this script i mean there's literally one vindicate his father. Yeah. Which is a hell of a question. I don't think they thought too much about this script. I mean, there's literally one point where Krogh says it was definitely Igor that did it, something like that. And then his next sentence, it's like, Igor couldn't have done it, you killed him, or something like that.

I can't remember what it was exactly. Why did your folks not let you watch these pictures as a kid? Because I found that interesting. I was a scaredy cat. Like every Fourth of July, I would like scream and cry. I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of Santa Claus. I was just, you know, I had nightmares all the time.

I would wake up going, I don't want to die This is like three years old But you eventually showed them to your daughter Which I found interesting Because Gilbert also showed them to his I started really early She was probably like one and a half or two And after a while I had all like all these monster models, like Frankenstein monster models.

And she would carry the Frankenstein monster around like it was her baby and kiss it good night and like put diapers on it. I love it. And we were talking before we went on the air that we've worked together on Conan O'Brien's show. Yeah. It was one of my favorite bits. I was only there for a year, but the idea was Halloween, and celebrities would come in dressed as other celebrities. So Gilbert came in dressed as Dick Cavett, but it was really Dick Cavett with Gilbert's voice who dubbed in. You just heard a loud zipper sound.

Yeah. And you'd see me. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then they had me on the subway. You were always on, yeah. Reading poetry on the train. Yeah. I remember you were there a lot.

It was great because I was always a big fan. I saw you in the 80s when you started doing Letterman. You came to Chicago and did a whole 45-hour set. You used to do long sets in those days. Yeah.

It's like, imagine screaming for an hour. It was great. Remember Caroline's at the Seaport, Gilbert, in those days? You'd do a 90-minute set. Yes, yes. Now it's like if they say, we need you to do five minutes, I'll say, can I do like four and a half? You know, you may have done 90 when I saw you, but it felt like 45.

It was great. It feels a lot longer when I'm on stage. They pulled you out a lot on those days, those Conan days, Gil. You were sort of like Tony Randall. You were a celebrity in rotation. Yes. Being called in for bits. What was the underwater bit?

Because I don't think. They had one i think it was like you know journey beneath the sea or 20 000 leagues under the uh where uh conan is in the submarine and then from they they had a camera underwater in a swimming pool, I think at the YMCA, and I get underneath the water and I'm attacking the camera as some giant sea monster. Yeah, I was probably gone at that point. But my favorite thing I remember about you was you always ordered two lunches. Yeah.

One to eat and one to take home. That's hilarious. Nothing has changed. Right now, everyone who heard that is going, yep. Yep. I would order two lunches, one to have there, one to take home. Plus, I'd still like a bunch of candy bars, potato to take home. Plus, I'd steal, like, a bunch of candy bars, potato chips.

I find that hard to believe, Gil. You didn't steal. We all knew you were doing it and loved it. It was in character. Did you do sets in those days on Conan when you were officially a guest? Would you just do panel or would you come out and do a set? I never did a set

on Conan. I did panel about two, three times and then I became like, you know, kind of a semi-regular for those skits. And I did like Letterman about seven, eight times doing stand-up. I remember all those, yeah. We'll bounce back to horror movies and get to Franken-Hole in a second, Dino. But since we're talking about Conan, I found it very interesting. You were very early hire. I mean, it was just you and Conan and Andy and what? And Robert at the very beginning?

Yeah, me, Conan, Andy, and Robert. Yeah, it was just us and— Smigel. Robert Smigel, I should say. Yeah, Robert Smig Robert. Yeah, it was just us. Smigel. Robert Smigel, I should say. Yeah, Robert Smigel. Clarify. I remember getting, I just finished the Ben Stiller show, and I didn't really have a great time on the Ben Stiller show. I had been used to, like I was working,

like I was writing bits in Chicago and would do my own, you know. I didn't like being rewritten. I was kind of a jerk. Okay. And Ben and I didn't really get along. I remember once Ben looked at me and said, I don't get you. You scare the shit out of me. And I kind of felt the same way, but I didn't say

anything. I just wanted the upper hand at that point. That's honest. So then the Ben Stiller show got canceled But, uh, but, uh, so then I, so then the Ben Stiller show got canceled and, uh, and I'm like, all right, I, I'm just gonna, I don't know if I even want another job anymore. But then I read like, uh, I think it was in Rolling Stone magazine or something. Uh, this art, big article about Conan. I didn't even know who he was. And, uh, and I fell in love with his style of humor. So I just wrote like 20, 30 bits and sent it to them through my agent. And I said, just keep these.

You don't need to hire me. I'm not looking for a job. I just wanted to contribute. And then I get a call. It's just Smigel and Conan. And I just hear, hi, it's Robert from television. I'm like, oh, hi. He's like, we want you to come and work for us.

And so I'm like, I was actually going to take a cross-country motorcycle trip and go to New York. And I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll just take a plane. So you just gave them the sketches. You just wanted to see them executed. You didn't care if you got hired. I swear to God, I didn't care. I just wanted the show to be good. I was a huge Letterman fan, and I was a little concerned what was going to come after.

And then when I read that, I'm like, oh, I want this show to be great. And name all of the people who worked on the Dana Carvey show. The Dana Carvey show. Oh, there's a jump. Yeah, that was – The super-powered writing room. the people who worked on the Dana Carvey show. The Dana Carvey show. Oh, there's a jump. Yeah. There was... The super powered writing room. Yeah. Charlie Kaufman, Louis C.K. I noticed you left Louis C.K. out

of the intro. That's because he never jerked off in front of me. And I felt very left out. You know, Albert Brooks, I worked with Albert Brooks. You think you know a guy. You think you're pals. And I would expect just once to, like, stroke his dick in front of me.

But never. Before he got canceled, we were working on a cartoon with him and Albert Brooks where they played cops. And it was hilarious. And after all this went down, Albert Brooks had a joke, and he's like, I can't tell it. I just can't tell it, but I'll tell you. And he's like, I talked to Louie a lot on the phone. I talked to Louie on the phone a lot.

I just thought he was exercising all the time. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So anyway, yeah, sorry. We'll make an edit and go back and put louie in and and now the funny thing with the dana carvey show people said you know one of the reasons that it failed so monumentally was that people were expecting you know dana carvey a nice young man who does voices and we followed i think we followed um uh what's that show home improvement home improvement yeah yeah which is ridiculous i mean you know and then the first bit is louis ck's bit about uh

bill clinton uh he was being criticized for not being uh being kind of a male chauvinist i guess so he wanted to show his femininity so he was breastfeeding babies and puppies he had like six nipples and breastfeeding breastfeeding real puppies and babies. And what's funny is, like, in Dana Carvey's movies, with the exception of Wayne's World, his roles were nice young man who, for some reason, is doing voices and putting on disguises. Yeah. I think Dino worked on Master of Disguise.

I worked on Master of Disguise. I worked on Master of Disguise. I rewrote that script a lot, and I put a lot of jokes in, and then Adam Sandler took them all out and put in fart jokes. Great. The Carvey show, some of the names you're looking for there, Gilbert,

Charlie Kaufman, Smigel, Louis, Robert Carlock, John Glazer, and Mr. Colbert and Mr. Carell. Right. Also, Mike Stoynoff of TV's Blossom fame. That's right. That's right. I don't want to leave Mike out. He played the older brother that no one remembers. When you watch the documentary Too Funny to Fail,

and Gilbert and I were discussing it, what you come away with is, boy, he should have picked HBO instead of the network. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think they wanted the big money and they thought they could do it. You know, we had a great cast and, yeah, we're in the wrong time slot.

That's it. And in the documentary, the funniest part is they have a very important, like a trailer for a very important episode of Home Improvement where they say the worst thing that could happen to a parent, the death of a child. And they're crying and hugging each other. And then it goes into, and afterwards, Mugs Root Beer presents the Dana Carvey show. Yeah, it was all around a bad decision.

It was so ballsy to open with that clinton sketch which you know looking back i know a lot of you guys were python fans i mean it's like a mr creosote sketch it's it's almost like it's almost like a british comedy sketch i mean it's it's so outrageous yeah when palin putting cats down his pants on saturday night live i don't know i also have a sickness. I can't see things as gross or anything until the audience reacts to it. To me, it was just funny, you know? I was all for it being the first sketch. Did you ever hear of a show in the 60s called Turn On, which was produced by George Schlatter of Laugh-In-Fame?

Oh, my God. I thought of that watching the documentary. So did I. So did I. My God, I thought of that watching the documentary. So did I. So did I. Especially because Dana is talking about how the show was canceled in cities.

It was being pulled across the map as it was airing. It was the slowest death. Yeah. And this show was a famous show with Tim Conway from the 60s. What was it, Gilbert? It was canceled before it got from the East Coast to the West Coast? Yes, yes. I think it's like at the commercial break, an early commercial break, the show was off the air.

Wow. Why? Was it too risque with Tim Conway? It was supposed to be risque. I don't know if it was funny. It was like a laugh-in knockoff. Right. But it was soundly rejected.

I think what Gilbert points out is funny. They thought they were getting Church Lady. Right. And they get Germans who say nice things and skinheads from Maine. I pitched a thing that they never went for called a cartoon called the church lady dies because i was so sick of the church lady and it would be every episode she would just die in a different way i love it it's also funny to see all the sponsors that that that somebody came up with this great idea of of of the corporate sponsor or the or the above the title sponsor

like the old days like texaco star. And you had Taco Bell for a week. Yeah. After a while, we had to make up, like, Joey's Guitar Lessons or something, you know? And then at one point they showed, they did a whole musical number, that all they could find was, like, a Chinese restaurant as a sponsor.

A local Chinese restaurant. Yeah, yeah. But tell us about something you're proud of on the show, Grandma the Clown. Oh, Grandma the Clown. Yeah, I guess I'm proud of it. That was another one where I didn't really think out the repercussions because, you know, I think we heard from the old woman's family, like, how offended they were by that. Because she's just a clown that talks about, you know, it never gets easier. It just gets harder.

We all die. You know, just talking about mortality the whole time. And, yeah. we all die you know just talking about mortality the whole time and and and yeah um but uh yeah i couldn't believe it got on to tell you the truth um gerald ford eaten by worms or eaten by wolves beheadings oh yeah eating human hearts i'm going down the list i feel like that was a louis ck and robert bit yeah that was a great one how did did you know you tell a story in the doc? How did you know you tell a story about you and Colbert opening the snack drawer? Oh, yeah.

I wasn't in the doc, actually. They hounded me to be in the doc, and I was like, I don't want to be in the doc. I just felt like I was going to say the wrong thing. I don't like being edited, you know? And I had a lot of negative experiences yeah i don't remember that colbert talks about that but it makes sense like once they clear the candy out the candy drawers out you know to our listeners he says that they opened the snack he was with you and they opened this you two of you opened the snack drawer He was with you, and the two of you opened the snack drawer, and it was barren.

Yeah. I think I went through that at the Ben Stiller show. And so what were the horrible experiences of doing Dana Carvey's show? Boy. You know, I mean, there were a lot of animals used. Same thing with TV Funhouse, man. Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. The worst story I have about TV Funhouse is I was working a duck puppet.

We don't mention ducks on this show. I know, sorry. Sorry, sorry. ducks on this show. I know, sorry. Sorry, sorry. But anyways, I was working at Duck Puppet in a duck church. You know, there's a big crucified duck. I remember. But the

thing with puppet shows is you've got to build the sets really high so the puppeteers could stand under it. So there's a hole in the set i'm standing up and it's really high and next to my duck puppet is a real duck and i just see it look down at me through the hole and and at one point it's sphincter opens and i'm like ah and it's shit. I swear to God, in my mouth. It was the worst experience I ever had.

I stopped the production for an hour. I'm just so grossed out. And I did the rest of the scene with a plastic bag over my head. You actually swallowed duck shit. I don't know if I swallowed it, but it was in there. I probably spit it out. I spit. I don't swallow.

You only swallowed it figuratively, Gilbert. Yes. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy

the number one feeling, winning. In an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on FanDuel Casino where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly.

Another question because we jump around. In Frankenhold, there's one part when it's the wolf man where a mustache yes pops up it now i'm i'm wondering if i'm correct does this is this in reference to the mustache in house of dracula yes 100 look at scott atsit and i used to laugh about that mustache that he was just trying to be suave and he's the least suave guy ever. Lon Chaney Jr. And Atsit actually wrote that episode, which I thought was brilliant. It's nice to see Elkie's summer

turn up. That's what I loved about that show. We could just do all these jokes about people that weren't even around anymore. And it's like in House of Dracula, when he shows up with a mustache i thought okay you're haunted your whole life by turning into a werewolf when the moon is full you just want to die but you think i i think I look pretty cool with a mustache. Yeah, you look good. You're looking good. Hey, I look pretty suave here.

Yeah, he always looked a little too put together anyway. Gilbert got a signed, what did you get, a signed photo from Lon Chaney Jr. when you were a kid? Yes. Whoa. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yes, he was in Famous Monsters of Filmland. Wow.

They printed that he wasn't feeling well, and if you wanted to send him a get well, and I did, and now I still have it. A picture of the Wolfman signed Lon Chaney. Yeah. Wow. Talbot never felt that well, so he probably got a lot of kids. Yes.

I love the inside jokes. You know, we've done, I was telling you before, Dino, we've done 380- lot of kids. Yes. I love the inside jokes. You know, we've done, I was telling you before, Dino, we've done 380-something of these. We've had Boris Karloff's daughter has been here. She's coming back, actually, because there's a new Karloff documentary. We had Janet Ann Gallo. Go ahead, Gil, tell them. Yes, from Ghost of Frankenstein.

The little girl. The little girl, the boys are bullying her, and Lon Chaney shows up as the monster and gets her ball. The little girl. The little girl. The boys are bullying her. And Lon Chaney shows up as the monster and gets her ball. My daddy said they won't hurt you. Yeah. We lost her just this year. I had a model kit where Lon Chaney Jr.'s Frankenstein's monster is holding her and the ball.

Oh, very cool. Very cool. So we've done a lot of deep dives into the universe. You know Kirk Hammett, by the way, from Metallica? No. He's really into this shit. Oh, really? Deep monster.

Deeply. Profoundly. I gotta say, we did some interstitials, like bits with the Frankenhold characters, and I don't think they're anywhere to be seen. They might be somewhere on the internet, but one of my favorite bits, because Scott Atzit does Dr. Polidori, who's Pretorius. Yes. Another inside joke, by the way.

Right. Yeah. And there's a story about the actor, God, now I'm blanking on his name. Ernest Thesiger. Ernest Thesiger, where he's just knitting on the set and someone asked him,

you fought in World War I, what was that like? And he said, oh my dear, the noise and the people. And I just thought, I love those lines. So we actually put that in a Franken-hole

interstitial. It's great. I heard Ernest Bessinger, you know, he did knit all the time. And he used to refer to himself as that knitting bitch. Yeah. And he was married, too, which doesn't matter. But I think he was married, right? Oh, he may have been.

That I don't know. Back then, like, who knows? Paul Lin was... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Gilbert, do you want to favor... Do you want to show how much you know about this stuff and favor Dino with a song of the new wine?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Come one, come all, and sing this song. For all love, for all love, for all, and sing this song. For life is short and death is long. For life is short and death is long. You know, there's lyrics that they cut out, too. Yeah. There is no drinking in the tomb, so down with sadness and up with something.

And that's when Lon Chaney... Oh, and then he sings... You together so happily, may you live for eternity. And then it's like, no, I don't want to live for eternity. Why did you say that? Well, it's a song. I didn't write the song. Yeah.

It was either this or MacArthur's Spark. And we thought this was more upbeat mr talbot you know frankenhol is a wonderland mary shelley's frankenhol let's say the title right for for people who are into these movies and into this history you know you guys have a lot of fun with oh yeah with inside baseball i mean dr palidori which is named for john palidori the writer right what they created the first modern vampire character was just a mix of a few guys yeah yeah it's great and and the ken jong episode i have to single out uh from season two that was when we ran out of money oh but it's so good and the suit is so good. Yeah. Yeah. We still have that suit somewhere around. We at least have the head, the racist head of Godzilla.

Well, his name was Hyralius. Yes, Hyralius. Which is the way Asians say it. Hilarious, right? Because he switched the R's and the L's all the time. I'm going to get canceled again. It doesn't matter. You even changed your credit in that episode.

Right. Yeah, I can't even remember what it was. It was like Stomoroporus or something. But he deserves a lot of credit for that performance. He plays every part and plays himself at one point. Yeah, it was definitely, I mean, he's great, and it was fun to have him, but it was an idea that I had because we ran out of money

and like, okay, we're only going to pay one actor, and we'll do a lot of live action, and yeah, and a lot of, and we reused a lot of animation in that too. But yeah, it came out okay. It's a great episode. I read you said that you were disappointed

that you didn't get more angry reactions to the show. Similar to Moral Oral. I hate my audience basically. And Moral Oral, you wanted you you welcome i hate my audience basically and moral oral what i mean it was an obvious takeoff on the davian goliath well you know it wasn't originally written for as davian goliath i originally wrote a script for iggy pop to play a kid and it was going to be live action. And he was like this little religious kid.

It was a Leave it to Beaver kind of idea, wasn't it? Yeah, like a Leave it to Beaver. And I had seen a little bit of Davy and Goliath, but then when they said, why don't we do it stop motion, I was like, okay. Let me watch some

Davy and Goliath. And they're actually, Davy's not a good kid I was like, okay, let me watch some Dave and Goliaths. And they're actually, like, it's not a good, Davey's not a good kid like Oral. He's just a shitty normal kid who does a lot of bad stuff and then gets a talking to. So, but definitely the style of puppets, you know, was reminiscent.

We were trying to make it look like, yeah, Davy and Goliath. I remember on Davy and Goliath, it was like they would do an episode where Davy gets lost at the circus or something. And at the end, when everyone's together, the dog would say something like, well, God always knew where you were, Davey. Right, yeah. He was like his little Jiminy Cricket. But the sermonizing would usually come in late to those shows, as I remember. Yes. They weren't heavily religious.

No, no, not at all. In the storytelling. Yeah, not at all. the storytelling yeah not at all but yeah moral oral uh definitely was religious from the get-go oh and and one thing i've talked about before on this show that i used to love growing up in brooklyn i'd find them thrown out in the street were those little um uh chick tracks those like religious comic books. Oh, yes. I've seen those too.

Did you see those in Chicago as a kid? Were they around in the Midwest? Yeah. Because we had them here. Yeah, they were everywhere. I always enjoyed those. I mean, I would find them. People would be handed, they'd hand them out on the street.

They'd throw it. I'd always find it on the sidewalk did you like them ironically or did you like them as a kid like i i think both i think it was i mean comics they're free comics yeah yeah and and there would always be like the the main character would get involved in something and then they'd either go to hell or ask for forgiveness and find Jesus and everything would be

okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, those things were... I wonder who made those and that must have been painstaking. We did some research into it because Gilbert brought it up on the show and of course our listeners heard it and then started sending them to him. Yes.

So we got dozens of them. I want more because I don't know where a lot—I put things away. Send me more Chick drugs. I think they were named for the cartoonist or the originator, a guy named Jack Chick, if I'm not mistaken. Okay. But it's similarly awkward sermonizing. You know, Moral Oral had an interesting history because they put the first episode wasn't the episode that you had hoped to run first.

Adult Swim loves horrible decisions. They thrive on it. And then the show takes a very, very interesting turn in the later seasons. Yeah. Because you decided to experiment with the characters and with the storytelling. You know, like I said, I'm kind of a baby and kind of a jerk. And, you know, I sold this show and Mike Lazo loved it. And I got bored and just changed it, you know.

I always kind of wanted it to be – what I loved about The Simpsons when it first started is I thought they were like a very real family, like they were the most real family on television at the time and had very sweet episodes, kind of depressing episodes, and then they kind of, they just got goofier and goofier and, you know, ridiculous. And I kind of wanted to do it in a reverse order. Start silly and slowly get serious.

But I got serious way too fast. And at one point, Lazzo calls me up during the third season. He's like, man, I can't make any more of these shows. I'm too depressed. He's just too depressed watching my comedy. He's like, in the last episode, there was like one joke, and I'm like, oh, shit, tell me where it is so I can take it out.

That's a question from a listener, Dino, because we solicit these on Patreon. Rob Bradfield wants to know, did Dino ever hear from Art Clokey, who was still alive, the producer of Gumby and Davy and Goliath, about Moral Oral? No, no.

Never heard. A lot of the animators worked with him. But, you know, I don't think he paid too. I mean, no one watched Moral Oral. No one watched that goddamn show. Gilbert and I did. When it was on or, like, later? Yeah,. Gilbert and I did. When it was on or later? Yeah, I did.

I'm an Adsit fan. Oh, and before I forget, I'm supposed to ask you, did you try to acquire Groucho Marx's hip? What? Okay. Marks his hip. What? We have a friend named Gino Salamone, who's an entertainment reporter in Milwaukee.

Yeah. And he says, I think this was Dino. He said that you had collected some odd items over the years and that you were trying to acquire Groucho Marx's hip bone. Wow. Never heard that that was available. I mean, I... But, you know, I got some cash. Well, I heard some other guy I know allegedly has James Cagney's artificial hip.

What was the other one? Gino thought, I'm getting my Ginos and my Dinos. Gino thought that Dino was the guy who requested the toenail clippings from the guy who played the professor on Gilligan's Island. No, that would have made me throw up. Yeah, no, but then you could have cloned another professional. Just to get off this island. So, once again, Gilbert, Gino's fucked us with bad information.

Yes, yes. I'm a huge Marx Brothers fan. In fact, my YouTube name is Bob Roland. Do you know who that is? Oh, yeah, it's Zeppo's character in... It's my favorite joke in Duck Soup. Duck Soup. You know, you got Rufus D. Firefly, you got Chickalini, you got Pinky, and then Margaret

DeMond introduces Bob Roland. It had to have been the writer's inside joke about Zeppo being the least funny. Bob Roland. It had to have been the writer's inside joke about Zeppo being the least funny. Yeah. With the group. Bob Roland. Now, what do you think was, it's like I always thought Night at the Opera, to me, just felt like the beginning of the end. Oh, yeah. I don't consider that the Marx Brothers.

Only Paramount for me. Okay. So when they were anarchists. Here's the thing. You don't need a reason for Harpo to fuck with people. I don't want to see him getting whipped at the beginning of the movie. Big mistake. What's great about him is he's just out of his mind, you know?

And in Night at the Opera, it's like, you know in the in the paramount ones it would be one joke you know machine gun fire yeah yeah and there they would say a funny line and it seemed like they were waiting to put a laugh track in it yeah yeah well you know why they actually toured with that script and counted the seconds of how many laughs there were, and then they kept them in there. Day at the Races, too. Yeah. Yeah.

And I guess, you know, look, Fahlberg knew what he was doing. They were hits at the time, and I guess Duck Soup was a flop. But in retrospect, you know, only Paramount for me. Well, Groucho defended A Night at the Opera because it made the money. It was a success. Yeah. And Duck Soup was not, but no contest. I think we have a little audio of Groucho

talking about that, don't we? Well, which is, I say it's racist because Chico needed the money. Can you do a real old version of the Vlasic Pickle Stork? That's Vlasic Pickles

and they're very crispy That's why I seek pickles. They're very crispy because they're all in a jar. And the jars are, it's hard to open up a pickle. In my day, it was hard to open up a pickle jar. And they would, in my day, pickle jars would have more than one pickle on them. Old Groucho has got to be the best imitation

of anything I've ever heard. I think that was Pat Harrington, Gil, who was the Vlasic Pickle Groucho. You know, Schneider from One Day at a Time. Yeah, yeah. I think you're right.

I started like, I loved the Marx Brothers, but I became so fascinated with Groucho when he was coming back. Yeah, yeah. And he looked all frail and confused. And the Dick Cavett show. Yes. Yes. Yeah. We did a panel, Mark's brother's panel here.

We had Bill Marks, Harpo's son. It's a good episode. We'll send it to you. Because Bill and Gilbert wound up singing Hello, I Must Be Going. Oh, God. To end the show. And it was a really sweet moment. That, to me, is the funniest song ever. And then, as usual, I fucked up the introduction or something.

And Harpo's son said, you learned to talk from my father. Oh, my God. That had to be a great moment. To meet Groucho. I mean, I can't even believe he was alive when I was alive. You know, he seems like such a legend. Well, I always think that. I think like, oh, my God, when I was alive, Groucho was alive.

Jack Benny, Peter Lorre, Cheney, Karloff. Yeah. All these people. Yeah. Harpo died the year I was born, so I like to think maybe I have a little Harpo in me. 63. 64. 64?

Oh, yeah, you're right. 64. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I have written in my notes. Yeah. Dominatrix.

Oh, yeah. There's a segue from Harpo. Very good, Gil, but that was slick. We got a dominatrix because Chico needed the money. Every now and then I'll, you know, I'm into the dominatrix thing every now and then I'll meet a dominatrix and she'll start to like me and go I want to have a baby with you and I'm like been there done that

so are you into like getting beaten and all stuff like that yeah I was when I was younger. Now I can't even ride a roller coaster without breaking in half. It's a young man's game, S&M, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I came from a very protective Greek family. Like you said, my parents never let me watch horror movies, and for good reason uh i guess i was kind of fragile but uh uh then when i moved out i was like okay all bets are off i got a motorcycle i got an snm you know i started i started eating more fried food

gilbert you've never been you've never uh patronized the services of a dominatrix? No, no. I have regular women that kick the shit out of me. Yeah, you know what it also was? It was probably because I lost my virginity pretty late, and I didn't know how to be with women or anything. And I was like, well, if you let them do anything to you, you know, like maybe they'll be into that. You know, I don't know.

I don't know. I try not to think too much about it. Aren't you glad we brought it up? I don't want, well, it's, you know, I still fantasize about it. So I don't want to, you know, I don't want to lose my heart on thinking I'm too hard about it. See, that's all I want to talk about. You want to lose your heart on? The last thing I want to know is it's because my dad pulled my hair once when I was three.

hair once when I was three. I was watching that cartoon that you and Robert wrote, Shazang, the parody of the old Hanna-Barbera genie cartoon. I don't know if I wrote that. He gives me a lot of credit. I think he gives me a writing credit on that. I think he gives me a writing credit if he's talking about it and I think of one little joke.

He's very generous with that. What about the ambiguously gay duo? Didn't that start as a conversation between the two of you and then veer into a different direction? Yeah. I can't remember what I wanted to do. It was another cartoon

about these archetypal boy-men kind of relationships. I can't remember what it was and I said, why don't we just make them gay? And he's like, well, what if it was superheroes, like Batman and Robin? I was like, okay, that was great. You know, a better...

I can't remember what version mine was. And that cartoon, it looked like it had the style, I think it was the style of those 70s cartoons. Filmation. Yeah, because Robert is so, you are too, you're such a cartoon guy. The specificity of them

and the guy doing the Ted Knight voice is really what puts them over. Yeah, I'm such a cartoon guy that Letterman ended up hating me because I only pitched cartoons. He used to call me Cartoon Boy. What was that cartoon Oh god

It had like The song It was a hit song Oh I think it may have been Sugar Sugar Oh yeah the Archies That had that Style animation Yeah yeah Well Dino did a show sending that up too Oh, yeah, the Archies. The Archies. Yes, yes. That had that style animation.

Yeah, yeah. Well, Dino did a show sending that up, too. The Archies. High School USA. High School USA. I had to think. You forgot your show. Yeah.

I mean, no one watched that show. I didn't even watch that show. That's why I almost forgot it. Dave Vigoda turned up on it. Did he really? I can't even remember that. Jesus. He's in it. He's in it. Did he really? I can't even remember that. Jesus. Yeah, he's in it.

He's in it. And Sally Kellerman. Yeah, Sally Kellerman was great. Yeah. And speaking of the Archies, who did you jerk off to? Betty or Veronica? I was more of a Betty girl. Yeah?

Yeah. Were you Veronica? I was a Veronica. I would have taken Betty. Yeah. You would have taken Betty. You would have taken Miss Grundy. Hey, look, after a while, I was jerking off to Jughead, you know, whatever. At that age, I was like, I would look around my school room and go, there's no one here I won't fuck, really.

I want to talk to you about, going back to, we mentioned Karloff and we're talking about these universal horror films, and something that comes up a lot on this show, Dino, is The Black Cat. And we have to get your take on it. And here we've been speaking about kink, so there's a natural

segue there. Gilbert and I cannot make And here we've been speaking about kink, so there's a natural segue there. Yeah, yeah. Gilbert and I cannot make heads, any kind of sense of that picture, and yet we both love it. Yeah, none of it is logical. That's what I love about it, I think. Me too. It's just otherworldly, you know? And I don't know why it was that.

I don't know if they cut out some important parts. I have no idea. No one's found, like, has anyone found the original script? I'd love to see the shooting script of that. I would, too. Do you like those other Karloff-Legosi pairings? The, what is it? The Raven.

The Raven. You know, I mean, I always like Legosi because he's so over the top, you know. The film isn't as good as The Black Cat for me. I love The Body Snatcher. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah, Val Luton. Yeah.

You a fan of the Corman pictures, too? Because I noticed when you voiced the death character in Frankenhold, you used a kind of a Mask of the Red Death design. Yeah, that seems like a standard death kind of, you know. You like those pictures? I do. I do. I like them. I watched them a lot as a kid, you know.

I watched them a lot as a kid, you know. And I think one of the first movies I ever videotaped on TV was The Raven. I loved the Karloff, Vincent Price, and Peter Lorre. He's so fucking funny in that movie. Oh, yeah. All right, Gil, give him a little bit of your Peter Lorre. Okay. Treat him. No, it's you who handled it.

You and your stupid attempt to buy it. Kevin found out how valuable it was. No wonder we had such an easy time getting it. You bloated fathead. You blundering idiot. I have... That is great. I remember you did some show in the...

Was it the 80s? Where you would overdub movies. And I feel like you did a lot of Peter Lorre. Oh, yes. I'm thinking of when he hosted Up All Night on USA. I feel like it was a regular series for a while. I can't remember what the name of it was. But you would always do Peter and Laurie.

What got me with the black cat, they, you know, it's Edgar Allan Poe, so they wanted to cash in on Edgar Allan Poe's name. But there's just like one scene yeah where he screams when he sees yeah and it's like oh oh okay that explains it you know what that's kind of like looting you know like all right you want to call it the black cat we'll put that in my favorite story about looting is with i Walked With a Zombie. Yeah.

You know, like they wanted it. They bought the title from like some magazine. It was like some story in a magazine. And they bought the title and they go, you make I Walk With a Zombie now. He's like, all right. Her first words over the voiceover is, I walked with a zombie. Kind of a weird thing to say, isn it pretty good movie though yeah it's a great movie i love i love all of luton's movies we we like cat people too gilbert and i but we're

disappointed that there aren't enough cat people yeah in cat people yes yes and and i like the remake better because there was a lot of nudity in the remake. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nastassja Kinski. Yeah, I mean, come on. She's the perfect Catwoman. And I remember one of those movies that throws in an excuse, a clumsy excuse, is Abbott and Costello meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, because they're in England, and they're with the English police department.

And there's one quick part where a guy doing a bad English accent as the chief of police goes, oh, if only I hadn't invited those two American police officers to see how English police work is done. Don't need that. Don't need that at all. And it was like, oh, okay. All right. Fine.

Now I get it. Oh, my God. What did you think of a movie that I think is very strange but beautiful is Return of the Cat People, which is barely, once again, barely a sequel to Cat People. I don't know that I've even seen Return of the Cat People. I must have seen it, but I don't remember it. It has Simone Simon. Is that her name? Oh, Simone Simone.

Simone Simone. Yeah. But she name? Oh, Simone Simone. Simone Simone. Yeah. But she's like a ghostly figure. We don't even know if she's real. A little girl. It's about a little girl having imaginary friends. That's all it is. I remember I liked Return of the Fly.

I don't remember that one. I heard you talking about Mark of the Vampire with the Frankenstein Minute Boys that's a good one I would love to go in and change that ending but I love it you gotta meet you gotta meet Kirk Hammett he's one of these guys too that has the

collections and he's got all the money the fuck you money in the world so he uses it to acquire like he bought Lugosi's original costume from White Zombie. Oh, wow. And he's filled his house with this stuff. Wow. Yeah, I'm obsessed with those movies.

I got so obsessed with those movies, I started buying 45s that even mention those movies. I have the largest 45 collection of like old 50s, 60s monster songs. Wow. Yeah. And I remember one thing when I was a kid. in TV Guide to see if Route 66 would be showing the Owlet's Wing

Lizard's Tail segment with Arlof, Lon Jr. and Peter Lorre. And the one week I didn't look, that's when they showed it. Oh my God. And that had to be the last time he was ever in

Frankenstein Monster outfit. Yes. Because he's so old. I saw it years later. He looked so bad in it. Oh, my God, yeah. Gilbert, we were talking before we turned the mics on that the other time you worked kind of with Dino was you were a voice in the Titanic musical in Tidy. Yes.

On TV Funhouse. Yeah. Well, it was originally on SNL, and Robert wrote that, and then he moved it to the TV Funhouse. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, yeah, Disney's Titanic. Yeah.

It's great. It's a great bit. I also enjoyed you as Wizzy, the wizard in the pilot, where Robert was Prozo, the Bozo parody. He was Prozo, and he does a beautiful imitation of Bob Bell, who was the Bozo in Chicago. I don't know if you guys are familiar with this. Yeah, I've seen Bob Bell's Bozo. We had Larry Harmon, but I've seen Bob Bell's Bozo, too.

Bob Bell's Bozo will fuck Larry Harmon's Bozo up the ass. Which I would like to see. Yeah, I mean, that would be great. There's also a chimp. There's a chimp parody called Lancelot Manzi, Mafia Chimp. Yeah, really dark. There's severed chimpanzees in that fucking. What about working with the animals?

Oh, man. We also have a chimp obsession on this show, so we got to ask about the live animals. I am scared to death of chimps. They are horrible. They're horrible. I would rather be thrown in a lion's den than with chimps. A lion just wants to eat you. Chimps pulled out your balls and eyes and face.

Fuck them. Eat your face off. Yeah fuck yourself one man uh years ago and then years later a woman uh chimps attacked both of them had their faces ripped off yeah and the guy had his they said he had his uh genitalia mutilated. Yeah, no thank you. Yeah, so a lion, it's like, yeah, it'll eat you when it's full. It's like, done. Yeah, yeah, you can't blame a lion. Yeah, but chimps are hard.

Oh, and you must be, are you familiar with the fact that in old Hollywood, familiar with the fact that in old hollywood rich rich women would train chimps to perform cunnilingus on them oh my god now now keep in mind dino that we got this information from jackie the joke man but but it is it wasn't exactly janeall. It's mentioned in Sunset Boulevard. Yeah. Where they say. Indirectly. Yeah. With Wilder said, I think they said Wilder said to the actress, he said, remember, you

are fucking the chimp in his direction. I mean, look, it's not that hard to believe. Chimps are really strong. They probably have great tongue muscles, you know? Yeah, I heard chimps are like 10 times the strength of a man. Imagine their tongue going to town on you. It's amazing. You've both worked with chimps.

Gilbert made a movie called funky monkey yeah with yes how close did you get i i i refused to get too close oh god and one time i did an industrial uh film yeah and and i i i didn't know about chimps i wouldn't do it now yeah but i had a i held a chimp yeah and uh so i i was fine right right but now i would never go near in fact i did some tv show where they had a chimp in one scene and then they came out with another chimp on a chain. Yeah. And they announced to everyone, they said, this is not the same chimp as before. No one make eye contact with it.

Oh, boy. And no one make any sudden moves and be very quiet. We're taking it to be destroyed. Yeah. I mean, why else would they bring it around? What are you taking this author's chimp? It was quite horrible. When you watch TV Funhouse, both the pilot with the Lancelot Link spoof

and the series, there's chimps all over the place. Yeah. of that Link spoof. And the series, there's chimps all over the place. Yeah. So I guess, and I noticed, I listened to you and Robert on the audio commentary on TV Funhouse. Didn't you have more problems with the live animals or the puppeteers? Well, the puppeteers, we didn't have that much of a problem.

When we first started, we got real puppeteers. And you couldn't tell the difference because they were very realistic puppets. And you couldn't tell the difference because they were very realistic puppets and you couldn't tell the difference there'd be a chicken next to a puppet chicken and they'd be working it like like this you know i'm moving my hand in a jerky movement and um you couldn't there was no reason for it to be a puppet so we fired all the good puppeteers for being too good and we just did the puppets. We're just, you know, walking around like idiots, you know, waving them around, throwing them, you know. Because, you know, you had to tell the difference between the two. Our mutual friend Dave Juskow worked on that show we were talking about.

We have to give a shout out to Dave. I love Dave. And I said, do you have anything for Dino? Do you have anything you can give me on Dino? And this is what he gave me. Andy Dick was talking about Dino on a TV show. Do you know this story? I've got to be a little more specific.

Dino told his mom Andy was going to be on. At the end of the show, Andy said, my friend Dino's the nicest guy in the world. He's just into heavy-duty S&M. And then the credits rolled. Dino was terrified that his mom saw it. Yeah, yeah.

I'm 56 going on 57 years old. I'm still terrified what my mom thinks. Like, I was in Chicago doing I think we were showing the clown show with the smigel and i did uh one of the uh morning shows drunk and later they they put in like and it was pre-taped

and in the live section they were like yeah the uh smigel was a nice guy, but the other guy was obviously drunk. And my mom called me up. She's like, what's wrong with you? Just crying. I'm like, I thought I was being Iggy Pop. Now, getting back to the dominatrix, Were you ever shit or pissed on? Well, pissed, yeah. I was pissed on once by like six dominatrixes at once.

It was like singing in the rain. Oh, my God. Yeah. Never shit, though. I think that's disgusting. That's where you draw the line. That's where I draw the line. It was a movie.

Singing in the line. That's where I draw the line. There was a movie. Singing in the rain. There was a movie where an actor actually gets pissed on by Nicole Kidman. Like it's not. Count me in. Yeah. I kind of thought like, you know, someone said we want someone to piss on you. You know, I tell them to fuck off. But I kind of think, you know,

Nicole Kidman pissing on you, you got to think about that. No, these were like hot dominatrixes. It was great, you know? Once at a dominatrix's birthday, they stuck a little candle up my dick. All right. Is this too much for this show?

It's not enough. I don't know what's too much for this show? It's not enough. I don't know what's too much for this show, Dino. But was there a candle? There was a little birthday candle. I mean, come on. It's a small candle. Yeah. What was the Jerry Lewis thing that Norman Lear told us, Gil?

Oh, that, yes. That he sang happy birthday to his penis? Yeah, that Jerry Lewis was lying. They found him lying on bed or on a couch. He was holding a lit candle and singing happy birthday to his dick. So there you go, Dino. His dick actually came out of his mother two days before him. So he has a different birthday.

Was there a live kangaroo story on TV Funhouse? Yeah, we did a bit where it was a cross-dressing kangaroo who went alone in the bedroom. And it was a puppet. And I worked the puppet. And I worked the puppet, and it was tying a pouch on him with a little stuffed baby in it. And that was how a kangaroo cross-dresses. And he gets caught by his wife, who's a real kangaroo. And kangaroos are kind of like chimps.

They're fucking nuts. And this kangaroo came in and ripped the huge kangaroo puppet off me and just started tearing it. And we're like, that's perfect. That's the perfect ending to this bit. We didn't really have a bit. It was just going to be her coming in and staring at him angrily. And we're like, no, this is way better. Why do all of Smigel's dog puppets sound like Eastern

Europeans? I gotta tell you. It's because his grandparents were Eastern European and had that voice. And every now and then, so he just always thought it was funny to do that voice and he started doing it for his own dogs.

Like, when his dog would run around like, oh, I got to get some food. And he always did that. There was one time during TV Funhouse, it was like four in the morning, and he was doing two of the dogs talking to each other. And he was doing, all right, this is Triumph, and this is Foggy. Should I make Foggy? Is Foggy good? I'm like, I can't tell the difference, Robert. Well, this is Triumph, and this is Foggy.

And it went on for hours. I'm like, I don't know which one is. They all both sound the same. Every dog puppet in the show. And then I had to go in and do the chicken afterwards. It's like 5 a.m. I was like up all night with Robert trying to figure out these dog voices i go and do my chicken in like one take i'm like how's that robert and the engineer's like robert's sleeping just felt like

didn't even hear it every dog in the show sounds like nikita khrushchev. Yeah. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Let's give a shout out to Scott Adsit, who's so great in Moral Oral. Here's a question from a fan. Has he been on the show here? No, we have to have him. Oh, yeah, he would do it in a second. That's hilarious.

Mike Dobkins, how was Scott Adsit cast in Moral Oral? You guys had history. Well, yeah, we were friends since college. He's one of the best actors and funniest guys I know. He also had a religious upbringing, so he helped a lot with the development of that show. Was his sister originally put off by Moral Oral, and then she came around? Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't talk for a while,

and finally they decided, okay, we won't talk about the show anymore. And she actually watched an episode and said, you know what, it's not that bad. Because it wasn't against the teachings of Christianity. It was mostly against the hypocrisy. And I think she got to see that. Well, give a shout-out, too, to Carolyn Lawrence and Britta Phillips,

that whole cast. Yeah. Everybody is so good. Everyone's great. And Louis Salyer, who plays Reverend Putty. You know, speaking of Dave Juskow, because we were talking a little bit before before gilbert come on came on gilbert did you ever get to see just go it was the it was on the date that in the series that uh felix got kicked out of his house i can't remember when

it was like november november 13th yeah yeah it's a it's Gary Marshall's birthday, which is why they picked it up. And every November 13th, I never got to see this, he would do two episodes in a live theater where him and his friend would play Felix and Oscar. They would switch off roles after the first one. I thought that was such a great idea. Did you ever get to see that? No, I would have liked to have seen that. I know.

That sounds like it's just a beautiful idea. We did one in L.A. We did the David Steinberg episode. Oh, yeah. And you said Sarah Silverman played David Steinberg. God, I didn't even know about it. Yeah, he must have them on tape. He should just do it again.

You guys should do it again. Here, Chuck WPG asks, would Dino be okay to have Starburns come back just for a community movie in a Bobby Ewing type plot twist where you're not really dead? Well, you know what? I begged because I wanted to die because I thought that would be cool to be one of the few TV characters that ever died. And so they killed me off. But then, spoiler alert, they brought me off but then you know spoiler alert they brought me back and i faked my death because i was so so i'm not really so i'm not really dead

so i guess i would do it because dan harman's a friend of mine and if he really wanted me i would do it dan is fun too in frankenhol oh-Hole. Oh, yeah. As Jekyll. Yeah, as is Andy. And tell us about the ventriloquist bit that you and Andy used to do. Because Gilbert did one with Belzer. Yeah, we used to call ourselves Dick and Stinky. And I was Stinky. We did this literally once.

And it was ad-libbed. I didn't know it was once. this literally once and it was ad-libbed and he just sat on my lap and uh you know it was a basic hey mr mr uh clatter how are you doing and andy was like fuck you go fuck yourself you know and he was just an asshole ventriloquist dummy who didn't have any jokes. And then at the end, you found out that he just did a bunch of drugs and it slid off me. I don't remember it being amazing, but who brought it up? I have an intern that works on the show, Jared, who found that. Yeah.

He did a deep dive, and he said, did you know that Dino and Andy Dick used to do a ventriloquist act? Yeah. So we'll shout him out, Jared Piantadosi. Speaking of it, that reminds me. I once, speaking of, like, commercial endorsements, I once became, like, the talking hand shadow. It was going to be a running thing for Subway sandwiches. Yeah.

And I would be the voice of this talking hand shadow. Right. And then Subway said, well, we've got two commercials running at once. You know, Gilbert doing the voice of the hand shadow. And there's this other guy, Jared, who lost tremendous amounts of weight. And the head of Subway said, we feel safer with Jared. Yeah. He said, let's go with the pedophile.

feel safer with Jared. Yeah. He said, let's go with the pedophile. Hey, I gotta tell you, I found on the internet, I saw that the crazy straws will put any word up to ten letters on it, right? So I started

thinking, what would be funny letters to put? I put alcoholic and shit like that. I kind of exhausted possibilities. And then at one point I came up with, I mean, I wonder if I could. So I put pedophile. I bought it. And usually I got the straws in like two days.

This one, it took like a month. And I started getting scared. I'm like, are they calling the CIA? Are they going to look into me now? Does it make sense that a pedophile would get a straw that said pedophile? And so I started freaking out and I started writing them dumb emails saying, is my pedophile straw coming soon? Because I'm a comedy writer.

Is my pedophile straw coming soon? Because I'm a comedy writer, and this is a prop for a very funny bit I'm doing about Trump. And, like, explaining it. Which makes it so much worse. Yeah. And finally, the pedophile straw comes, and it's perfect. It's just a crazy straw that says pedophile. And I'm like, what? the telltale heart what am i gonna do with this now i didn't i just put it in my closet it was in my closet and i i passed the closet and i'd be scared every time i

passed it and finally i had my friend over this woman and i was like and she and she's kind of like you know kind of brassy and stuff so i i was like look at this straw i got and she's kind of like, you know, kind of brassy and stuff. So I was like, look at this straw I got. And she's like, give me that straw. I should own it. I was molested as a child. So she took it home. Yeah. I'm like, well, I'm glad you got something out of that experience.

This episode has truly had everything. I take it that that's the closer? Gilbert, you've played every... You've done more voices for inanimate objects. You were a hand. You were a smoke alarm. Yes. You were a toaster.

Oh, and family guy, I was a dog whistle. A dog whistle? Was you a car alarm? Was I a car alarm? You'd make a great car alarm You really would Tell us about Because we put it in the intro, Dino

And it really should be mentioned Because it's a wonderful piece of work that you produced You and Dan And that's Anomalisa Nominated for an Oscar Made by your old friend Charlie Kaufman. Right. Yeah, we went to see, Charlie wrote this radio play. It was called Theater of the New Year, and it was, you just sat and watched the actors

just on the microphone, and there were like sound effects and a whole orchestra and everything. And this was a perfect story to do like that, because it was all about voices. And really, to this day, it's the perfect way to experience that story. But I loved it so much, and I was kind of sad that that was gonna be the only performance and it would just go away and I wanted to document it in some way and that would get kind of mass appeal and I thought well how about a stop-motion movie and I approached Charlie and he said well what I don't I don't understand how it would be a stop-motion movie and I'm like well that's your problem I got a stop-motion movie. And I'm like, well, that's your problem. I got a stop-motion studio, though.

And so he came and he directed it with Duke Johnson, who's a great stop-motion director. Who you work with all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, I'm certainly glad that movie was made. Once again, 12 people saw it. Original piece of work.

Yeah. And it's beautiful. With great performances, too, by Thoulis and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Yeah. Tom Noonan playing 15 parts. He played everything except for their two parts. Yeah. And you used Kickstarter?

We used Kickstarter. We thought it was going to be like a cheap little animated movie for like $500,000. And I think we got that amount of money. And, you know, Charlie had bigger ideas. But it was great because we would have never made that movie. It ended up costing like $10 million or something like that or $8 million. And we never would have endeavored to make that. We didn't have that kind of money.

But because we did the Kickstarter, we got some recognition, and then other backers came in, and it worked out perfectly. He's a real visionary. I mean, like or dislike his stuff, and I guess there are camps with any kind of artist. But he's not imitative of anybody. No. He really has his own voice. Yeah, definitely. And it's a very interesting film to watch.

Speaking of chimps, you know where I'm going with this. Is the Bubbles movie still in development? Is the Bubbles movie still in development? No, it's a shame because it got canceled because Taika Waititi was going to direct it. And quite frankly, I think he didn't know how to make an anti-Michael Jackson movie, which this kind of was anyway. But it would have been more of a love letter, I think, to Michael Jackson, which would have been the wrong direction to go in. And so he just, he, he, uh, he, he decided not to do it. And then Netflix said, well, we, you know, if we don't have Taika, then we don't want to do it.

And, um, and it's a shame because, you know, it was because that documentary came out, you know, about Michael Jackson and what, what the movie's about is about abandonment, how Bubbles gets abandoned because, frankly, he gets older and he's not as cute anymore. And that's exactly what that documentary was too. So I thought it was very appropriate to do that movie. So Michael Jackson turned his back on this chimp? Yeah.

When it got... Yeah. Oddly enough, I don't think this is even in the script, the chimp, you know, Michael Jackson got whiter while the chimp got darker. You know, chimps get darker as they get older. So they kind of crossed over. I hear the script's amazing.

It's a beautiful script, yeah. It's really a shame that it's one of those things like Anomalisa. I just wanted to see it made, you know, more than anything. Well, credit to you guys for making it. Well, we didn't. It's very good. Oh, Anomalisa, yeah. Yeah, Anomalisa. I mean, you know, it won a prize at Venice, and it was guys for making it. Well, we didn't. It's very good. Oh, Anomalisa, yeah. Yeah, Anomalisa.

I mean, it won a prize at Venice, and it was nominated for an Oscar. I mean, it may not have found a big audience, but... Yeah. Last question from a fan, Dino, before we all get out of here. Alan Bernard, who runs one of our Facebook pages, asked Dino how he was inspired by Chicago radio personality Steve Dahl, the infamous creator of Disco Demolition Night. I think Alan Bernard is a Facebook friend of mine, too.

I, you know, I mean, I just, I grew up with Steve. He was Howard Stern before Howard Stern was, I mean, Steve started in Detroit where Howard Stern started, and I think Howard got a lot of his act from Steve. He just, but Steve was just so real on the radio, and his wife would call up screaming at him because he was a drunk. And it was just like nothing else.

I tell this story, and I think Colbert had the same experience, where when you're changing the stations on your radio, you just keep hearing. Once you change it and you don't hear anything, that's the Steve Dahl show. Because there were lulls. It would be like a minute where they just sit there and go, I don't know, I'm in big trouble. You know? Like, he didn't care. It was just so real.

Disco Demolition Night made him a national figure. Yeah. And that wasn't the best of Steve by any means. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. Steve got so much better after that. Last thing, and this is fun.

You both have theories and Dino, you were saying that you saw the Frankenstein pictures as original and sequel, which I shared with Gilbert, which he found interesting. Frankenstein, then sequel Bride. Son of Frankenstein, then sequel Ghost.

Yeah. We never thought of it that way. The two houses, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they came in pairs. Well, it's like when they started, they would be sequels. And then after a while, it was like, who gives a fuck? He fell in the quicksand, and now he's in a totally different country, and he's in ice. Yeah.

And he's not even Karloff anymore. Like those mummy movies. Holy shit. They really didn't care about those. No. They're in, like, New Orleans. It's a point from Egypt to New Orleans in a jump, you know? So, Gil, share your theory with Dino.

Oh, well, like, Frankenstein's a baby. You know, it's an innocent baby. It wants to be loved. The Wolfman is a teenager. Right. You know, his body is changing. Yes, yeah. And Dracula is what every guy wants to be.

Right. He's in control of everything. Yeah, yeah. No, that of everything. Yeah, yeah. No, that's true. Yeah, that's great. And the mummy? The mummy could be old age. Yeah, old age. Yeah, that's interesting.

See the things he comes up with, Dino? Amazing. Did you know he was this deep? And the creature of Black Loon, just a big lizard. Yes. A big fucking lizard. You know that part of life where we just are a lizard? I think it's actually in the womb.

You a Harryhausen fan, too? Because I know you love stop motion. Yeah, yeah. Across the board. I love, yeah, I'm not crazy about about the movies but i love whenever there's an animated part i love it did you like mad monster party as a kid you know i never i never saw it as a kid and i gotta say that one's that one's a slog to get through it is a slog like that's like those songs are terrible the jokes are so bad i get sleepy watching that movie and you know you'd

think it would be right up my alley it's stop motion and monsters and yeah we're gonna that's kind of why i wanted to do frankenholl i wanted to do my version of that in some way you know we're gonna send you our interview uh which i think you'll find fascinating with donnie dunnigan and also i love it and also with Janet Angelo, because she's got firsthand Lon Chaney stories, which are hard to come by. Yeah. And Lon Chaney wanted to adopt her. Oh, really?

Yeah. True. That's creepy. I got a straw for Lon Chaney, I'll tell you. We want to thank Lan Romo and Carl McGraw. Can I very quickly plug my podcast? Please. I don't even know how to get it, and I don't even know what the name is,

but I think it's called Safe Space with Dino and Dana. I do it with Dana Snyder. It might be Dana and Dino. Anyway, we do a big Halloween 27-hour long marathon podcast. I was going to ask you about that. I apologize for not putting the podcast in the intro. You're a big Halloween guy. You always were.

Big Halloween guy. I play all my music, and we talk, and we got a lot of funny people who come on. Like Colbert came on. I think you guys were supposed to come on last year, and I fell asleep. That sounds right. During the window that you were supposed to come on, I fell asleep by mistake. Will you do another one this year? Yeah, I would love you guys to come on if you can.

But no pressure. It's our it's our it's our partner network how can we how can we say no yeah believe me you could say no but i would love you to come on my uh one of the guys came up with this bit i'm gonna spoil it now because it'll be on yours um this guy uh bob, who's on the podcast. He's like, has anyone ever done a Monster Mash parody where Mash is the show Mash? Oh, that's smart.

I instantly thought it's just the song with the Monster Mash. I was working in the lab late one night when in my eyes a scary fright. You just do the actual and put sound effects on the mash theme and then go from there. I don't know.

You should have some of the monster authors that we've had on this show. Gregory Mank. Oh, yeah. Mank is great. David Skull. Those guys are experts they'd be fun on your Halloween marathon Rick Baker too

yeah you know if you could throw me some numbers we'll be happy to plug you in and we had Bob Burns Bob Burns wow I know of him I don't know Bob

he's got the biggest collection you're in LA Bob Burns. You know Bob? I know of him. I don't know Bob. But yeah, he's got the biggest collection. You're in L.A. Go knock on Bob's door. He'll let you in and show you the stuff. Well, you know, the year that Forry died, the year before, I think I went and visited him. You know, because he had an open house. Yeah. For years.

Okay, so I used to go to the Rustic Inn. Sorry if you guys are over time now at this point. I would go to this bar, the Rustic Inn. And it was before, you know, they just had free Wi-Fi for everyone. And you try and like piggyback on some neighbor's Wi-Fi. And there was this one Wi-Fi and I'm like, Carloff-fornia. And I'm like, wow, someone, a Carloff fan, his Wi-Fi is called Carloff-fornia. And I'm like, wow, someone, a Karloff fan,

his Wi-Fi's called Karloff-fornia. And turned out, Fori lived right next door to my favorite bar in town. So a couple times, like on Halloween, I'd be drinking

and show up drunk and see Fori. That was kind of a fun experience. It's nice that you got to know him at the end. The poor guy, people took stuff from his house and never returned it. I know, I know. In fact, I got this great Dracula. No, I didn't.

Yeah, it just used to, and they were like blatant about it. Yeah. Walk in there and just steal shit. about it. Yeah. Walk in there and just steal shit. I would never do that because I love the idea of all that being in one place, you know? Yes.

Bob Burns has the little Kong armature and all that stuff. We'll hook you up with Bob. Go over there and say hello. Yeah, yeah. I would love to. It's a playland. This has been great. This has been fun, guys. Thank you for having me. Fun front for us, too. Gil, what do you think?

Well, I heard, I got a tweet that actually the creature of the Black Lagoon's not feeling well. Rico Browning. Yeah. He's ailing. Yeah. So I guess send him greetings. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess send him greetings. Yeah, his handlers or his family members, maybe it was his daughter, in fact, was asking on Facebook for people to send messages to him or letters or emails

because he wasn't feeling well. And he's the last surviving Universal monster, obviously. Well, now I feel bad about my Creature from the Black Lagoon joke. Jesus. You could have told me before the show that you were going to do a little heartfelt thing about this guy. Dino, thanks for making the time for this. Sure. I have nothing but time.

What else is going on besides the podcast? Nothing. I have nothing but time. That was a line in Citizen Kane. Oh, God. Edward Sloan. Edward Sloan said, because they say to him,

you know, do you have time for this interview? And he goes, I'm chairman of the board. I have nothing but time. Yeah, it's true. I'm head of the board. I have nothing but time. Yeah, it's true. I'm head of Starbirds Industries, which does very little. No.

Yeah, I don't know if I have anything to plug besides the podcast. Okay. Safe space. We start the Halloween marathon midnight New York time and end 27 hours later, midnight California time. Wonderful. What was trick-or-treating like for you in Chicago? Did you do the plastic masks? I did it way

too old. At one point, I was like 13 and did yak hair and spirit gum. I was a wolf man. Just remember... Where did you get yak hair from? It probably wasn't yak hair.

It was probably... Those swatches of fur that you'd find. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to throw yak hair out there. Yes. I remember reading in Famous famous monsters that they said they used yak hair yeah yeah i don't even know what that is yeah i mean i assume yaks but why

just yeah but uh so i was in full wolfman attire and makeup and this one kid who was like two years older than me just walked up to me walked up to the wolf man and just smashed an egg in my head so i'm just like in wolf man regalia just egg son of a bitch yeah that was the last time i uh i trick-or-treated gilbert what about you in brooklyn with trick-or-treating we've cut we've talked about this i remember i had like one a pirate mask and I'd wear that on Halloween I trick-or-treat to all the buildings and then I would go home dump out the candy and I had also a Zorro mask so I'd hit all the same and sorrow just just like old old two lunches gilbert strikes again and and i i it's funny i ran into um uh jim carrey and he said and i remembered it when he told me that one time he was on a press junket, and he was staying at a hotel.

So I stopped by. We were hanging out in the hotel. And Carrie said to me, you know, the studio is covering all the room service. So if you want to get something to eat. And he remembered, I ordered three steak dinners, and I ate one, and the other two I took home. How long do those steak dinners last? Dino, thanks for doing this. It was a blast.

Thank you. Thank you. Gilbert, thanks for asking Jim Carrey to do the podcast. Oh, yes. Gilbert, thanks for asking Jim Carrey to do the podcast. Oh, yes. Thanks to Lan Romo, Kyle McGraw, Jared Piantadosi, and, of course, we'll thank Just Scout, too. Dino, thanks, man.

Thanks. Okay, so this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we have had our first guest ever who's been pissed on. By many people. By many people, not just one. At once. We're not too sure

about Larry Storch. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Dino Stamatopoulos. Whoa, you got it. I have to lie down now. Me too.

Yeah. You straighten out your thighs, then you blink your eyes. Doing the Frankenstein stuff. Put your arms straight out, and then you walk about. Doing the Frankenstein Stomp. Now you come face to face at a monster pace. Doing the Frankenstein Stomp. Next you start to sway and then you back away.

Doing the Frankenstein Stomp. To win the practice by a stomp With your left foot Clomp, clomp, clomp And stomp, stomp, stomp With your right Now double check The belts in your neck To be sure your hips are tight

Innkeeper Two more Bloody Marys and step on it. If you try to walk, then you'll get a shock. Cause you just can't run with feet that weigh a ton. As you turn around, ready stomp the ground! Then you start to twist, but only with your wrist! Just one moment of pain, my dear

And then eternal life Thanks for watching!