Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Billy West Returns

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday of unpopular Stooge "Curly Joe" DeRita (b. July 12, 1909) by revisiting this hilarious interview with comedian, voice actor and Three Stooges expert Billy West. In this episode, Billy discusses bad sight gags, one-joke comedians, the legend of “Grandpa” Al Lewis, the genius of Frank Welker and the magnificence of the Buddy Rich and Paul Anka rants. Also, Larry Fine plays Stanley Kowalski, Lou Jacobi inspires Dr. Zoidberg, Jay Leno messes with James Mason’s head and Jerry Lewis meets SpongeBob SquarePants. PLUS: The Mad Russian! Peg Leg Bates! Dueling Peter Lorres! Ren & Stimpy turn 30! The brilliance of Larry Storch! And the triumphant return of the Jackie puppet! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. I'm Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer Frank Ferdorosa. Our guest this week is an amazing, colossal fan favorite, and so he's back for a return engagement. And also, we just like hanging out with him. He's a musician, comedian, radio personality, comedian, radio personality, and one of the most versatile, accomplished and gifted voice actors in the history of popular entertainment, appearing in films, television series, TV

commercials and video games. As a musician, he's worked with and performed alongside such icons as Lou Reed, Debbie Harry, Roy Orbison, Los Lobos, and Brian Wilson, among others. And of course you know his voice work from the features, Jurious George, Rugrats in Paris, Cats and Dogs, Garfield the Movie, Looney Tunes, Doug, Beanie and Cecil, a Duckman, King of the Hill, Hysteria, Futurama, Looney Tunes and The Simpsons to name a few. Looney Tunes and The Simpsons to name a few. Among his character, he's given voice to Stimpy the Cat.

You wanna take that one again and we'll edit it. Among the characters he's given voice to are Stimpy the Cat, Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny, Shaggy, Dimpy the Cat, Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny, Shaggy, Slimmer, Slimmer, Slimmer, Slimmer, Pafy, Woody Woodpecker, Muttley, Buzz the Bee, Fry, Professor Fonsworth, Dr. Zoeyberg, and the Red Eminem. From 1989 through 1995, he served as a guest performer on the Howard Stern Show. I'm sick of me. Yes. I've heard of the Howard Stern Show. I have vaguer... I have vague recollections of one time appearing on it.

And providing hilarious, dead-on impressions of celebrities such as Lucille Ball, Raymond Burr, Jonathan Howe... Adolf Manzio, Franchot Cone! Donuts! Franchot Fountain! Franchot Fountain! AHAHAHAHAHA! And yes, Jackie Marling and the Jackie Puppet!

Please welcome back to the show an artist of many talents and a man who says that he stopped going to church when he discovered the three stooges. Our old friend Billy West. Old? Hey, you know what? I'm sick of me. You read, you read, it was nice of you to read all the stuff they told you to read. Nobody told him, Bill.

What do you mean? He was a member of the Smiling Sons of the Friendly Shalelies in Boston. Now you, you were raised in a kind of bigoted upbringing. Like, one time you were a little kid watching The Three Stooges. Oh. And can you tell us that story? My mom came in the room, and mind you,

when we were watching them when I was a kid, they were already like old. We just didn't know it. We're watching these fireballs beating each other up. And my mother would come in, and how can you watch those awful men? Well, that's the three stooges, mom. Ugh, ugh, they're terrible.

And they're Jewish. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And another time, I think you were sitting with your father and you were watching Lola Felana. Lola Felana? And you said, you know, she was an attractive black song and dance woman. And you said something like she's pretty mm-hmm and my dad said what are you what are you thinking about love L-O-V-E no I mean I I don't know maybe I'd go out with somebody like that look does a bee go out with a fly?

hahahaha pfffff sometimes hahahaha nowadays they do dad my dear dead dad you pile up bones them bones them bones them dry bones dad I'm glad we're opening the show with racism. This is perfect. Somebody else's racism. That's not my part of town. Bill, welcome back. Oh, thank you very much, you guys.

I'm really happy to sit here and I hope I can rise to the occasion. Go ahead, go ahead. I was just thinking, I started to tell Gilbert before we got rolling that Stan Freberg produced these big, big budget commercials for soups and stuff in the 60s and he told me once, he said, oh it's murder

being funny. You know, I said, what do you mean? He goes, you know, whenever there's a disaster, all your friends just turn and look at you, like what do you think Mr. Funny? You know, and I thought about that, that no one can ever do that to Gilbert. That's true. You know, I mean, you've never had a comedian probably come up to you and go, is that yours? You know what I mean? They're always like, is that yours? Is that yours? Can I use that?

You can't, no one could take anything because you're the only one who can say it. Yeah, and unlike- I try to write a Gilbert joke. A ginseng and a colon go out on a date. Ha ha ha ha! Ginseng says to colon, are you married? And colon says, I'm unattached. One thing says to Colin, are you married?

And Colin says, I'm unattached. Oh, that's the kind of joke he would tweet. Yeah, yeah. He tweets bad puns. We have to do victimless comedy now. I guess nobody told Gilbert that. I was going to say, unlike Stan Freberg, Gilbert is unmoved and untouched by tragedies. Yes. I mean, what are you supposed to say if you're one of those wise guys,

except if you have to go near a stage, you choke, so you always are funny or wacky or fearless when your friends are around you, and you look at them when you say, you know, what? What, that the astronauts look like burnt marshmallows on a George Foreman grill? What? Too late? What? Too late?

What? Go ahead, Gil. And you had dealings, of course, with the great Al Grandpa Lewis. I heard you guys doing it before I got in the booth. I was missing out. Yeah, yeah. Herman, come over here. Why don't you pretend to be an astronaut, Grandpa?

Yeah, okay. Over and out, Roger. where's the powdered blood? They put Tang here. The space drink. Did I hear you doing that? I heard you talking on a podcast about bad ADR. I think you were on the Nerdist. You were talking about the days of bad ADR and you cited that example of when Herman and Grandpa get locked in the bank vault. Yeah, some nervous Nelly goes, there's got to be more dialogue happening there.

Well, that's too bad. They're gone, you know? And he said, maybe we can get Al to come in here in this closet, this booth, which was nothing like where they recorded it. So it's always like, you know, Herman, I think something bad is going to happen to us. And then you hear, Look what you did, you big dummy. You locked us in the bank vault. That they dubbed in, but no one cared about continuity or room tone or nothing.

They're off to this stage. Hilarious. Sometimes you'll hear, you know hear dialogue come into the scene. And before they even speak, you could tell that the tone of the room is completely off. Oh, they didn't care. They knew, see? Fred Gwynn knew comedy wasn't pure.

He knew. Yeah. Loi, is comedy pure? I'm gonna make you tell the story. Yeah, Herman, I got a funny joke for ya. Yeah. What do you call the definition of a smartass? A fella that can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is you big dummy. I'm telling jokes I'm doing with the Stichloch

already here. I'm gonna put you on the spot Bill and ask you to tell that wonderful story since we're on Al Lewis this quickly. I'm gonna try to save them for the end but it's too good we have to get to him. That wonderful story you told where you were you were spending time with him at grandpa's restaurant on bleaker street yeah I ran that grandpa's bella giante yeah no it was there was an Italian restaurant in the lower east side or was it on bleaker street in the village I used to pass by there all the time they had that caricature of how Louis was on the outskirts. Yep, yep, of him.

But next to that would be him because he wasn't cooking. He used to stand out front with one of those, you remember those little cigars that were dipped in wine? They're called crooks? Yeah, crooks. Yeah, I smoke them because they're rancid. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha A couple black guys come by and they go, hmm, and they turn around and they go, damn, you're a monster. You know, and he just would, yeah,

tell me something I don't know. Damn. Damn. Damn. He spoke, he spoke wise to us. So I go in and I had a nice meal there and he was not quite holding court. He was just sort of sitting at a table.

And there was this couple with a little girl and they said to her, go over and ask him where he lives. And she said, okay. And the little girl goes over and says, where do you live? 1313 Mockingbird Lane. and she ran screaming away from him and she said, you know, she said No, he's kidding me! And then he looks at me and he goes women

He was something else he was such a great great guy and I heard that restaurant It wasn't so much that he was an actual manager or owner. He was the greeter. He was like the PR of the place. He was the public relations. He was like a mob joint. And he was just, they slapped his name on as a recognizable celebrity. He was victim on, you know, like at the Italian restaurants.

You know they bring in some guy like that to just pretend he owns it. Did you, you spent a lot of time with him when he was on Howard? Yes. Yeah. I knew him through someone else though it wasn't from Howard's show. When I got to sit with him a couple of times, I was dying. With the bolo ties and the... Yeah, but he was talking about marriage. Yeah, yeah. I love these little chippies. You know, you marry them and you get them in the old slow moan on them satin sheets over in Roosevelt Island. And he took me and a bunch of other people to dinner and he said, I got dinner.

And he pays with a credit card and then he just collects from everybody the cash and just puts it in his pocket because he doesn't know if he's going to be alive the next day And he looks at me and I was looking at him like you son of a gun easy yeah, yeah, that's how I operate Yeah My favorite al Lewis story was Al Goldstein from screw magazine used to throw big brunches when he still had money and he invited me a few times. One time I was sitting with Al Lewis and he's there with the smelly cigar, the brown teeth, the country western, the wirey hair, and Al Goldstein saying...

Hop along Catskill. Yes! And Al Goldstein is talking and goes, I'm starting a new magazine and every month we're going to have celebrity interviews. This month is Penn and Teller. And Al Lewis turns to me and he goes, Oh this month? And I said, Penn and Teller.

And he shakes, he waves his hand dismissively and discussedly goes pieces of shit He didn't like anybody he probably loved you, but I think he liked me because I because I would talk about old days And he said You know when I go into that Stern show nobody has any talent in there I go into that Stern show, nobody has any talent in there. Zippo, none. He said, I come from the old days when in vaudeville, you know about vaudeville? When they had a performer, a black dancer named Peg Leg Bates. Oh, you should have seen Peg.

He could dance on bongos and congers. Yeah, that's talent. And jump off and spin around on his silver leg. You know, it was just, it was so much craziness to listen to. He was the real deal. And what started that whole cowboy image he created for himself? No one knows. That was his style. I don't know was I know that he was a talent scout once for the NBA. He knew he knew basketball quite well Yeah, and he discovered um well lcinder. Yeah, but your bar

Yeah, yeah, but that whole cowboy look and he even spoke with a cowboy accent Oh, yeah, he'd say that, that Jackie with his corn-pwn humor. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Her ass was so sweet, I thought I was gonna get dia-booties! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! OOOOH! AHAHAHAHAHA! Why would anybody want to be funny? AHAHAHAHAHA!

Why did you people laugh? AHAHAHAHAHA! The puppet, I did the puppet. I just did a whole different spent, you know, party voice for that. I miss the puppet, Bill. Yeah. It was great. I'm not getting any laughs!

No laughs! Oh, shit, I think I'll throw myself in the fireplace! Ah! I remember that was a scary looking puppet. Yeah. What's frightening? Well, it was sardonic, you know? It just had this evil grin printed on its face and it was a plaster head so it just it would chip, you know, but nothing made it look good, you know

You could repaint his head and it was still look like We love Jackie didn't they I love them someone's the best didn't someone send in Robin quivers a Ventriloquist dummy too. I don't remember that. I don't, I don't think if they did, they never brought it out for, you know, exposition. Yeah. And I remember the last time we spoke. I, you know, I always recognize. Georgie Jessel in your doctor's or a bird.

But also it was a mixture, you said. Of Lou Jacobi. Oh, yeah. Everybody who doesn't know what we're talking about, he started in Yiddish theater, way down in the Lower East Side. Diary of Anne Frank. Oh, he was in Diary of Anne Frank. Yes, I can see him in that. I know.

I stole from the children. You want to hear it? I did. I stole from the children. You want to hear it? I did. I stole from the children. Poor Anne. Poor Anne. And now the crowds have her. I got problems. He was terrific, Lou Jacob. Funny guy.

Remember him on the Dean Martin Variety Show with Kay Medford? Remember him on there, Bill? Yeah, Kay Medford. Yeah. She was wonderful. She was very funny. You know what? He was good in the Alpine Lace Deli Meats commercial.

Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, he was like some butcher and he comes over and he goes I think what you're eating gives you too much cholesterol cholesterol and and he would say I want you to eat Alpine Lace Cheese because I care about what you eat. And you, and you, and you. You didn't have to be able to do too much back then. I guess to be in show business you had to have grass stains and a number two pencil or something. Along the lines of what Gilbert was asking, how did Zoidberg become a combination of Lou Giacoby and Jessel? You're just fooling around with different voices?

Yeah, I was. Yeah, because the character had all this junk hanging off of his face and I thought, well, he wouldn't be able to speak too well with all this lobster meat. And so I just said, you know, and I took Luigi Coby and I guess I cold fused him with George Jessel. There'll be no shenanigans in my courtroom. You know, his voice was a little higher. Oh, God. Here's to Eve.

He used to do, he was the Toastmaster of the United States. Sure. The Toastmaster of the United States. Sure, yeah. South Toastmaster General. Here's to Eve, who wore a fig leaf in the most promiscuous of places. Here's to Adam, Johnny on the spot. When the leaves came down. No, he was, I just thought they were all funny, quirky people. Oh, I was watching this thing the other day

and I never really saw it. I've only heard of it. Remember in every cartoon somebody would go, oh, how do you do? Oh yeah. Yes. That was the mad Russian on radio in the 40s. Oh wow.

Russian. Yes, Russian. Meet Deanna Durbin. Oh wow! Russian. Yes, Russian. Meet Deanna Durbin. Oh, how do you do? And he didn't even sound Russian, and he was the weirdest looking. His name was Bert Gordon. And the bad Russians,

they even made a movie called How Do You Do? That's like a one trick pony. It sounded more Japanese. How... How do you do? You know, it's interesting that you settled on... Look him up afterwards. Go and see that and you'll never be the same after you look at the first part. Remember the mad Russian.

And people around him would humor him like Harry Vonsale would go, Look at you, Russian. You're eating that thing like you're starving like an Armenian. Oh, don't ever say that. And it was supposed to be hysterically funny. People used to laugh at it, but, you know. It's got a touch of Peter Laurie in it. Oh, yeah, a little bit.

A little bit. I've been trying to remember the name of an old comedy performer a comedy performer whose whose catchphrase was I Miss the good old days Wow, I don't know Wowie. Oh, I don't know. I'm a good old days David not David Drew not not Dayton Allen. No, no, I was gonna say Dayton Not Dayton Allen. No.

No, I was going to say Dayton Allen. Why not? Dayton Allen showed up on the Munsters. He was kind of like Swedish or something. El Brendel? El Brendel! El Brendel? El Brendel!

Who is that? Who is that? Yeah, that's a Drew Friedman. Oh, thank god. That's a Drew Friedman special. You're the only person I could ask. And you'd come up with El Brendel. That's a Drew Friedman special. You're the only person I could ask. And you'd come up with El Brendel. That's it. That's who I was thinking of. And that was funny. I miss the old days.

I'm so proud. And then he was in a movie, very much like Sleeper, although not the least funny. Although not the least funny. And he wakes up out of a deep freeze and he's in the future where the guys are walking around with grass skirts. And I mean it's like- L. Brendel got his own feature? L. Brendel got his own. And much like Austin Powers, he has a son who's older than he is.

Fantastic. And, and so there's one part where a girl is there with a very high-cut front of the dress, no cleavage, and he goes, I miss the good old days. And then she turns around and it's really low-cut in the back and he goes, Fooey on the good old days. There were a lot of comics with just like that one catchphrase thing. There was Eddie Lawrence, you know the old philosopher Hi, you pal. Yeah, you say you've been walking around your house and it's Christmas Eve You know, yeah, he was great. What's the matter, Bunky? Well lift your head high and take a flop on the ice

And we've had a few on this show Like um, um, um, um um um um um what oh Joe George Joe pimp Joe penner no no no no the one we had on the show who his his whole bit was Really? Oh, we had Billy Saluga. Yeah, yeah, we had bill Saluga Ray J. Johnson who was his whole thing with, well, you can call me Ray. Call me Ray. Yeah. And you can call me Jay, or you can call me Jimmy, or you can call me Johnny,

but you doesn't have to call me Raymond. He ran with that, man. I know, how come we can't do that? Gilbert's gotta come up with new stuff all the time. What are you kidding? So the comics can't steal it. Is that yours? Is that yours?

It was so funny, because that you Can Call Me Ray was like less than half a minute and he built a lifetime out of it. He told us he bought a house. We had him here, Bill, a couple of weeks ago. Really? Yeah, well, also Art Metrano had the... Yeah.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da to that. That was our first guest on this podcast. Do I ask the history lesson? He was over a hundred. Yeah. At the time and he always used to be funny confused. Now he was just confused. Oh. That's one way to put it. Yeah we could he was he was a deer and he gave us his best shot, but it just wasn't usable material. So we wound up scrapping the first episode and moving on. I remember going with Frank to have a slice of pizza. At the pizza store. At the pizza store.

And I was saying, all right, we gave the whole podcast idea a shot. All right, we gave the whole podcast idea a shot And then we figured out how to get guests that could bring it Yeah, you were one of like our seventh or eighth guest bill you were you were very early on we're up to 200 now Really? Yeah, you were you were in the first ten. I believe if I got my Big shot My son, the big shot! So we're up to 200 now! What about your mother? Huh? I need a shot in the Budweiser because of him, this Frank, my son, a Boilermaker!

Don't ever talk to me again, don't dock in my doorway! And, you my lord, could you give us some of the old Lucy? and I was like, I'm gonna put my handle down in my doorway! And can you give us some of the old Lucy? I was just gonna say, talking about the stern days, they threw that to you, they really threw you the wolves there. That was what, your first day? Yeah, she was in the hospital, I brought it up the day before. I said, Lucy's in cedar Sinai and he's eating. And I said, she's probably just laying there going, you know, ah, oh, the interns are all Haitian.

They're from Haiti. Oh, that's all. Ooh. And I just thought of what it must be like in there. And it's like, you know, Howard's asking her, Gilbert was there. It's saying stuff to Lucy. Like, did anyone ever call you Miss Testicle? Wow, that's horrible.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't you like the new comedians like Gilbert Gottfried and Sam Kinison? I never heard of any of them. Why can't they do good humor like the Sid Caesars and the George Gobbles? Ah. Pluracy. It's like we talked about it, it was the stone pillow era of Lucy's career. That's right.

But I like the one where she was in Musso and Franks and she was in there with Ethel. They went on a Hollywood vacation. Oh yeah. William Holden's parks behind them. Oh yes, yes. And Lucy is going, Ethel, it's Bill Holden! It's just funny that somebody would say that. Bill Holden.

She's on a first day basis. Ethel, it's Bill Holden and she was trying to like get a peek at him and he was wise to it and he was messing with her head. Oh. Old Bill, death by gravity, Holden. Poor Bill Holden. No, he died. He had his head on the coffee table, right?

Yeah. Yeah. He was drunk and he fell forward or back. Death by Gravity. That's right. That's my new film. You know, it's funny, Bill. You were talking about finding George Jessel and Lou Jacoby for Zoidberg.

And of course course there's a little bit of Peter Laurie and in in Wren yes but there's a proud tradition of voice actors doing uh favorite you know popular performers yeah you know Dawes Butler was obviously doing Art Carney and yes and he was also doing um um Desi Ar for Baba Louie. Right, and Wally Gator was a little bit of Ed Wynn. Yes, and everybody's done their take, like Paul Freese, Boris Batonov. Oh yeah! He used to do Commander Wrong Way Peach Fuzz. And he had that thing too, you know!

You know, it was so hulky, but I loved everybody's take on it, you know? I just did.'t Paul Fries Didn't didn't Burt Lars sue over snaggle puss. I think he's know that was does Butler was snaggle puss No, I mean didn't didn't Burt Lars sue because because of the exit stage right because of the likeness and running out the way Five sooth even and you And I mean, back then, cartoon voices and commercials, they would think nothing of doing an imitation of any celebrity.

But that was Burt Lahr's only thing. Can you imagine sitting in an apartment with like a naked light bulb? Can you imagine sitting in an apartment with like a naked light bulb? You know, sitting on the stairs and hearing this new TV business with a voice that sounds like his. Hex is stage ride and running around the... I didn't think Burt Lahr was like effeminate like that. I just thought he was like, you know, who's her? Yeah, he didn't say, who's her?

Thicky. Who's her? And Dawes was doing say, who's ha? Vicky. And Dawes was doing a little bit of Andy Griffith with Huckleberry Hounds. Oh, that's right, that's right. Lum da dum dum, lum da dum dum, who my darling, what's her name? You know, all that stuff. Those were my heroes though when I think about it. I had a whole gallery of heroes. It wasn't just voice people, it was musicians and I met a lot of them.

And now while Gilbert heads into the Nutmeg kitchen to steal more Perrier, a word from our sponsor. Gil and Frank went out to pee, now they're back so they can be, on their amazing colossal podcast. Kids, time to get back to Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal podcast. So let's go. Tell us about you and Foray, who you got to know a little bit. You were at her service, weren't you? Yes, I was. No, I didn't go to the service.

I couldn't make it, but I was at a special that they did for her, like a remembrance. And they had voice and slideshows and, uh, you know. We're sorry we didn't get her here. Oh, you would have loved her. Yeah. Because she was the be all and endall female voice of the 20th century. You know, it's like I can't think of anybody who had more of an impact with their characters. No, no.

Like, I told her when I first met her, I just was in such awe that I became mindless and I found that I was shaking her hand for more than 30 seconds. You know, while I'm saying, this is such a thrill for me, and she's beginning to look at me like it's going into 40 seconds of shaking her hand. for more than 30 seconds. You know, while I'm saying, this is such a thrill for me, and she's beginning to look at me like it's going into 40 seconds of shaking her hand, and she said, what, do you like me or something? And I go, I just, June, when I was a little kid,

Natasha Nogoodnik was my first masturbatory fantasy. Ha ha ha ha ha! But, darling, you know, and I said, I just want to take you home with me. I want to fold you in half and put you under my arm and just come home and talk to me. You know, it was just, you couldn't believe who you had in front of you. It's, you know, you still get that feeling, right, Gilbert? No. You ever stand? The only person I've seen him get a little bit starstruck

with in our 200 guests was Dick Van Dyke. Oh yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's one of those people you don't believe exists. Yes. Yeah.

It was the Dick Van Dyke show was like sort of a blueprint for how television shows work I mean comedies anyway, it was just you know, they were sitcom writers and they had the star of the show but All for crying out loud buddy When you were placed at Tuba He does, he's the only one I know who does Maury Amsterdam by the way. Oh yes. Yuck a buck. When Yuba plays the tuba, what did he, he did, oh he goes, oh here comes Smell Cooley. Do you have the comedy spot Rob? No, this is the comedy spot Baldy.

Point to his head. I love that he does Maury Amsterdam. And you know what? He was good. Yeah. What's odd is like to the public, they understand like, you know, Michael Douglas doing a voice over or, or Pete, Jeff are the voices of a billion commercials. Yes. I forget. I remember when, um, which one? Sheen, Martin Sheen used to do commercials. Yeah.

And go, Pepsi, the choice of a new generation. And I used to say, what is he, what is he? This was before I made any money. I said, what is he, Super Creek? What are they all going to make more money? Yeah. I didn't understand that there's never enough money. I finally figured it out.

When you do cartoon voices, and this is interesting, you don't do celebrity voices. You always do Gilbert Gottfried? Yeah, yeah. But that's the best. You don't need to be anything else but that. There's nobody like you. There isn't. No, that's true.

Unless we went back in time to... El Brendel. Yeah, El Brendel. Or Frank Fontaine. Okayaine okay El Brendel this is take one we want you to play a caveman boy I miss the old days we want you to play peanut number two in this one okay and action, I miss the old days. You know what, I mean, that's really cool. It's like I sweat bullets trying to come up with something new after about 35 years in the business.

Well, how do you, when they give you a character like Farnsworth, and you just, if I have this right, a combination of Burgess Meredith and Frank Morgan. Yeah, kind of. A little bit? Do you go home and just futz around and try all these different voices in your repertoire until something works? Do you do it right there in the studio? I saw a picture of him.

He's old, real old, and they said he's 147 years old. And I physically, I hardly ever do this, but in the booth, I shook myself because if you were 147, first of all, you look at his head and it looks like airplane food. It's like a diseased piece of chicken with skin wrapped around it. Did you have the chicken? And he would, you know, he would probably shake, he'd probably farted dust. He was 147, I'm telling you. He's like, good news, everyone.

Bad news. They were great. Who else does Burgess Meredith? Oh yes. What about Billy West? Well Burgess Meredith's like, he'll knock into tomorrow. You know and that wasn't quite the professor but Frank Morgan was that, you know, goodbye everybody. Goodbye. I think a little bit of Larry, for some reason Larry Storch's Mr. Whoopie

from Tennessee Tuxedo comes to mind. Oh, that's right. He did, yeah. Phineas J. Whoopi, you're the greatest. And he said, you going to give us a little preview? And he'd be like, I'll give you a little preview on the BB, you know, the three-dimensional blackboard, the 3D BB. You know what?

I heard stories like he was the one who came up with the Judy Judy Judy joke. Really? Oh, he told that on this podcast. Oh, I don't remember him saying that. The impression. Shame on me. He was performing at a club and someone said to him, Judy Garland is in the audience. And he just had to know her,

started going, Judy, Judy, Judy. And that's where it came from. Yeah. And now- Trying to sound like Cary Grant. And now everybody believes that Cary Grant said Judy, Judy, Judy.

Oh, wow. That's cool shit. When I saw those two big beautiful boobs I knew what to do. Bill, did you ever meet Howard Morris in your travels? I know you were a big Sid Caesar guy when you were a kid and he did a lot of voices for Hanna-Barbera. I've met Howard Morris, I've met Sid Caesar, I've met Carl Reiner. Oh wow. So that's quite the trio there. Yeah, because I know that show meant a lot to you when you were young. It did mean, Sid Caesar was the first televised image I ever saw.

You know, and he'd be like, he'd be just gibbering in something that sounded like Italian. That's real hard to do. Vavalo, don't they touch him. Adola, bella, vegoo, cagana, go. Shoo. Shoo. Shoo. But hey, smoke bag, ti prego pongue.

Pongue. Well, we had Tony Sandler on from Sandler and Young. Do you remember Sandler and Young? Yes. We had Tony Sandler on from Sandler and Young. Do you remember Sandler and Young? Yes. We had Tony Sandler here a couple of weeks ago. He said he himself speaks six languages fluently. And he would go on stage with Sid Caesar. And Tony Sandler would actually speak the language and Sid Caesar would be

next to him doing a complete mock version of the language and people would think oh my god Sid Caesar speaks that language. Oh yeah you know where he learned that he grew up in Yonkers he was the son of a store owner alongside the river there there was like a store where Sailors from other countries, you know They'd pull up and they go in there and have breakfast and all that and Sid would wait tables and at every table There was a bunch of guys from different countries, you know, he'd go by a table full of Germans You know, and then he'd walk away

You know You know. Yes, we see the sound of the shitting of the swine cough. Oh man. What a gift he had. We had on Carl Reiner who said, Carl Reiner said that he can do, you know, foreign gibberish. Yes. But nowhere near as well as Sid Caesar. But Carl was real inventive.

Yes. He had a different take on that gibberish. You know, it's really hard to do stuff like that. It's not like anybody does that anymore. And the genius of it was they would throw in little key words that would let the audience know what they were talking about. Ha ha ha ha! You know, let's see.

Jean Codin, Liselle Hanz, J'ai chez Bigaboobs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He was really out of place. Oh, yeah. Not sure who he was or... Well, there's that story that he was accepting an award and he got tongue-tied and Mel Brooks yelled from the audience, Sid, do it in German. And suddenly he snapped to attention. He came alive and was able to turn it on. Wow. That can be a problem. They said that about Peter Sellers, too. They said that these guys who were great mimics and... They were great in character. They were great great impressionist. Someone's had the dialect gift. They didn't exist if they wanted to.

I'm not of that caliber genius, so There is a part of me that actually exists. There's a real person home. I want to ask a question to both of you guys, you know, yes And Billy you've said you grew up in a sonic world and you heard things that other kids didn't hear as well as your famous misspent youth that you told us about last time. But, and same thing for you, Gilbert, because Gilbert's obviously also a gifted mimic. I mean, he's... Oh, God, yes. The best. He does wonderful. I mean, there's no better James Mason or Irving Bealish as anywhere. No. There's no better person that can boil anybody down to their bare essence.

He's great at it. And put it across with a noise instead of words or inflections. You know, David Brenner. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Mwah, mwah. Hunting decoys, ducks.

Oh yes. What's that bit, the David Brenner bit? I used to say I Went hunting Monday. I yeah, I sometimes go out hunting for David Brenner's And I I'm there with my hunting dog and I take out my Brenner call Bang fountain Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha On your knees Joe buck a little bit this company must be run or calling to my specification

Store is that a Jerry Lewis? Oh my god. yes! He was the head of the department store. Not the big store. What's the name of that one? Who's mining the store? Who's mining the store? That's right. And then they try to star him in a sitcom after that, and it was called Many Happy Returns. Oh, that's right! Bless your heart. Half a season, if that, and he was the head of a return department in a department store, return

gifts. And he would always come up with something that would make people go back and not want to give it back he would say. You know what you can do with a broken toaster. I like them on Midnight, what was it? Midnight Cowboy. Midnight Cowboy. Midnight Cowboy. Get on your knees Joe Buck, pray with me Joe Buck,

oh Joe Buck you're gonna love it here. And then they were praying in front of a big lit up shrine like a circus billboard. And I remember he goes, you got a strong back, you're gonna need it Joe Buck. What were they trying to say? And then, in the end, the memory goes, you got a strong back. You're going to need it, Joe. What were they trying to say? Who knows?

Because all he wanted was him to kneel and pray with him. I put that MacGyver sitcom on a par with the Pruitts of South Hampton, with Phyllis Diller, and also Paul Ford and the Baileys of Balboa. Wow! That came on the same year Gilligan did. That's right. They laid in a ditch and died. I mean, I think with John MacGyver, he was destined to be a great second banana.

He should have been a recurring character in someone else's sitcom. Always. How thrilled he would have been to know that he has talked about this much on this fucking show. John MacGyver. His own offspring. Don't know who he was. He's got a son who's an actor, Boris MacGyver.

Oh my god. We know more about him than the son does. But I was going to ask this question. At what point, Bill, you were developing mimicry skills, at what point did you say this could work for me? This is more than just... You know, I liked the idea that I could mimic certain people or certain characters and stuff,

but it was like, it dawned on me real early that you'd become a footnote in voiceover history if you didn't invent one. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. So it was great to be part of a franchise, like the Warner Brothers stuff,

but I wanted someone to show me a picture, just like they did in the 1940s at Termite Terrace. They show Mel Blanc What do you think and they'd show him drawings and he would go, you know He's and what did he say one time? They wanted me to do a character named Porky Pig and So I went out to the farm. I went up to Oregon and I slopped around in the pigsty with the pigs Just to hear them and then he said they went, reet, reet, reet, reet, reet. And then he was going, reet, reet, reet, reet, reet, reet,

reet, reet, reet, reet. That's all for air, folks. Sure you did. Fantastic. What about the guy Arthur Q. Bryan that did Elmer Fudd? Didn't June Foray say he was a pervert? Nah, she said, oh, he liked little boy. Oh my god. I'm breaking news here.

Elmer Fudd was a pervert. Hello. Hello. This is Nambo. Hello, hello, hello, this is Nambwa I'm not doing it right cuz I'm giddy There was that great story of Mel Blanc got into a car accident that nearly killed him and he was in a coma.

And the doctor kept saying to him, you know, you know, male, Mr. Blank, would you please speak to us? And it never worked. And then finally, the doctor goes, uh, I want to speak to Bugs Bunny. And he came out with a perfect Bugs Bunny. He goes, and that's right, folks. Yeah, and he said his characters were alive in him, but he was like practically brain dead. Well, yeah. Wow.

And he said, after that, he would ask him, he goes, you know, I want to speak to Daffy Duck now And he would come out with a perfectly hysterically funny Daffy Duck But he couldn't he couldn't say hello in his own voice. It didn't he was in a coma. Yeah What doctor was a genius man? How come yeah people like that now? Well, that doctor was a genius, man. How come we have people like that now? You guys-

In case anything happens to us, you know? You guys want to try something out for our listeners? Yeah. Bill, I sent you something. Okay. Yeah, this- You want me to do- we're going to do dueling Frank Fontaines or something? I thought we'd try dueling Peter Lorre first.

Oh, Mr. Donahue. Give him a little crazy since he asked for it. Last night, I went out with the fuckwadgetty. He should have just said punchlines. He should have just said punchlines because it took too long to that, you know, it's like... He should have just went, I don't mind you fucking my daughter, quit using my ass as a scoreboard For nickel I will The aristocrat. Awesome. Don't you think it would be just, it's perfect if you know who he is and you know the stupid joke.

You could see it coming up 6th Avenue if they just let out the punch line. It's just as funny. They would use that name Fawquah on the Gleason show and even then as a kid like everyone watch you go oh you know it sounds kind of like fuck well like when laughing would do funk and wagnles oh yes the same the same trick I didn't know that who was the ones that all looked alike the Farkel family for. Farkel! Mark and Farkel, Sparkle and the twins Simon and Gar Farkel. Yes! Yeah, see they don't make good things like that anymore.

What happened to the Farkels and the Pinky Lee's and the soupy sales' Dick Martin was the neighbor, Ferd Berfel. Oh yeah, and they all looked like him. Yeah, and Jonathan Winters was officer Phil McCorkle. They probably just let him go. Yep. They probably just let him go. You want to try this dueling? This is Peter Loury? This is one of Gilbert's favorites and Billy knows his way around this one too. So each part is marked. This is dueling Peter Loury's. Will people be able to this? Because you'll have to take the camera and put it on a Dutch angle for those old German expressionistic films that he was in.

Like a Batman lair? I'd like a couple of hamburgers, please. And make them raw. Go ahead, Bill. OK. OK. Rick, I hope you're more impressed with me now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll share my luck with your roulette wheel.

But Johnny, not too now, I'm sleepy. We'll do it tomorrow or the next day. Okay, okay, Johnny, okay, we'll do it. But the quick way, huh? The quick twist. Like in London. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahah me silently but I can feel it there it's me pursuing myself I want to escape to escape from myself but it's impossible I saw that I the I that kept winking and blinking I ran out of gas

That hand! That hand was... What did... May I remind you, Mr. Spade, that you may have the falcon, but we certainly have you. Mr. Spade, I want that black bird. Where's that black bird? Where's my gunsel? I looked up gunsel in the dictionary. And there's two definitions, a man with a gun and the other guy who likes younger companions like as a punk. Well, they were playing a lot with the gang.

With Wilmer. That's... yeah. With Wilmer and also Peter Laurie, who has a scented business card. Joel Cairo. And Bogard makes that face like, Ah, send him right in. Yeah, bring in your gunshot. And I looked it up, so there was an extra dimension to that

you you bang it you and your stupid attempt to buy it Go ahead Gil Kevin to found out how valuable it was no wonder we had such an easy time stealing it you you imbecile! You fat, bloated idiot! You stupid fathead, you! Um, that was borrowed for Ren and Stimpy. Thank you, Gilbert. Thank you Gilbert. Thank you. Can you hand me over some night if you're brave enough? We'll sit around and...

Why don't you bring your gunsel in here? You wind them, you dine them and you put them in your back pocket. And there's a part in Maltese Falcon where Peter Laurie is there with a fancy handle, metal cane handle, and he's holding the cane and he's rubbing the handle of the cane against his mouth as he's talking. Yes, now we know. Now we get it. What a choice though, huh? Yeah, it was amazing. What a choice Peter, huh? Yeah, what a choice Peter Laurie made. Yeah.

Yeah, and like M, you know, he's not I, did him crazy, he's I who am mad. There was a little section you read there from M. That was the third one. That was, by the way, for our listeners, if they're curious, that was from Arsenic and Old Lace, M,ablanca and Maltese Falcon. Obviously. Nice job guys that was wonderful and disturbing. He thinks he murdered his father. We borrowed that for Ren and Stimpy. He murdered you. And in Arsenic and Old Lace, I mean they wound up getting Raymond Massey. Yeah, with Karloff, right? Yeah! I thought, God, that would have been so great. Laurie and Karloff. What's weird is that Capra leaves the Karloff jokes in the movie.

Yes! And it's not Karloff. Yeah, and it's not funny. So the joke doesn't make any sense, because now it's Raymond Massey. He was the only, I guess he was the ultimate Abe Lincoln impressionist. Oh, yes. Because he heard old records of Lincoln speaking, old phonograph records, phonos or whatever, and I guess the great-grandson heard Raymond Massey.

You sound just like my great-grand, great grandfather or my grandfather. Wow. That's cool. Back in the old days. That's cool. And now I'm the Lincoln go-to. Yes, yes, you are the Lincoln go-to. Million ways to die in the West, of course, the view. You were in the view as Lincoln.

You know, by the way, the two guys who played that part on Broadway, who played Dr. Einstein and Jonathan Brewster were Abe Vagoda oh and one of them a crane it no crane was in the TV movie the TV movie Bob Crane and Bob Crane yeah yeah he played the Carrie Grant yes but but on Broadway they did it with Marion Ross oh yeah and. And Jonathan was played, the Karloff character was played by Abe Vigoda. And Dr. Einstein was played by Larry Storch. Yes. And then Bill Hickey.

You know, Larry Storch had to throw up before he ever performed. Like if he was going to go out and do a set, he had to throw up. And I finally met with him and I said, can I ask you a question? Are you like a fly? You have an incomplete nervous system and every time you eat you've got to throw up immediately to go do something else. He's a big talent. He was great.

And I remember also in the TV movie, Jack Gilford was Einstein. And I mean, was it, was it Vagoda also on the TV? I can't remember. I got to look that up. I got to look that up. But the question before Gil, I want you to answer. Were you doing, were you mimicking movie actors? Were you mimicking stuff off the TV? At what point did you start to think this could be something I could run with? It was weird because, you know, I was one of those kids,

I'm sure like Billy, who I'd watch way too much TV. All of us. And then I started to imitate old movie stars, current actors on shows, and it got me more and more interested in like show business. Yep. That's the same thing with me. If I saw a character like Percy Helton. Love Percy Helton.

Steve Stoller does a great Percy Helton. You know who he is? Oh, sure. Of course. You know, we were like cut from the same plant or something. The same pod. But I've been using him a little bit lately for animation. And he was this frantic little man.

And he was in this movie where he lived next door to this frousy, you know, questionable blonde who was trying to hustle a diner owner behind his wife's back. And he'd catch her coming home and he said, Oh, Billy, you know, I want to make you dinner, Billy. You said this weird little voice frantic little man. I saw what you did, Billy. Who was that guy? That weird looking guy? I got a block on his name.

The red hair, he had like red hair, very skinny and he used to do like Disney stuff. Sterling Holloway? Yes. No, that wasn't Sterling. He had red hair. He was an American. Sterling Holloway had, he had red hair. Was it Sterling Holloway? Yeah, he was kind of goofy. Yeah, yes, yes. He was an American. Sterling Holloway had, he had red hair.

Was it Sterling Holloway? Yeah, he was kind of goofy. Yeah, yes, yes. He played professors. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sterling. Yeah.

I can't do him, but my friend Jim Cummings has been doing Winnie the Pooh forever and he just nails it. It's like chilling, how good. Now, do you do a John Fielder? Oh, Fiedler. Fiedler feed John Fiedler. Yeah Another he's another boy man Yeah boy man, yep

You know, he said I'm gonna make you suffer And he was in 12 angry men, that's right, yes What was the guy who's the guy that stole yard did on the show Percy Kilbride Why don't I have the right actor? Who was who played mock a Pa Kettle? For Curse-y. Percy Kilbride. Yeah. And Marjorie Mayne was Ma Kettle. Yeah. I'm trying to think it. I think I got the wrong guy. It'll come to me. I think I remember as a kid watching TV and going, ask not what your country can do for you ask what

you can do for your country what you're doing the the MacGyver's and the James and the James Mason's as a kid. Give him a moment let him bask in some glory here. He just did John F. Kennedy. And he has the most evil John F. Kennedy joke I ever heard in my life. Oh my god. His head wouldn't stop bleeding so they put a box of tampons in it. I don't know. I don't know what it was. But it was awful. It was funnier than hell. No, I, well, I do, I did have a joke. I said, I was, I was at a party, and I ran into Jackie Onassis,

and I wanted to play a little party game to help break the ice. So I said, do you remember where you were and what you were doing? And she just walked away. Ask not what Marilyn Monroe can do for you. Ask what you can do for Marilyn Monroe. Now were you telling us this story? Someone was that they had these girls called the after 10 girls. That wasn't my story. No, no.

Someone told it. Yeah, I know the story, but I don't remember who told it. That were basically like hookers on the payroll. They had an acting contract, and someone said Marilyn Monroe was one of those. At the risk of incurring, like modern day thinking, progressive thinking, it was like we knew when, if like the producer or the director was having sex with a particular woman

because out of nowhere, for no reason at all, the most beautiful woman in the world would walk by a desk and stop and you know, play with her hair and then keep walking once, and the whole thing. And you said, yeah, yeah, yeah, the you said yeah. Yeah. Yeah the producer. Yeah He's humping her. All right. Oh Some humper he was you mentioned Jim Cummings was a big talent we had Rob Paulson here. Oh Robbie

He's how you guys greatest he's just he's amazing. I don't know how you guys do what you do. Oh no, you know, it's just, I get inspired, you know, I knew a lot of, well not a lot, but a few voice guys that were extremely jealous of anybody else that was doing a part because they secretly thought they could do it better. And it's like, the same tide raises all boats. I used to come into a session and see Jimmy Cummings firing on all eight cylinders and I'd be like, yeah man, jeez, look at this guy go. Look at who I'm part of here, Robbie Paulson and Maurice LaMarche, all those guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you, and Welker of course, who's- Oh, Frank, he's the Mac Daddy. Otherworldly. Frank, Frank Welker was the tiger in Aladdin and the monkey. What he, the sounds that he makes come out of his body. Yes, he has control over every chamber in that body. He can do dogs, you know, like when the dog is mad, they can't make the dog bark mad.

You know, they can teach him to chase somebody, but Frank would have to do a mad dog or a laughing dog, or a happy dog, but make it sound like a dog. And what's so funny about guys with that talent like Frank Welker and a few others who are brilliant at animal sounds is that they'll do nature documentaries, nature specials that they'll film in Africa and they'll hire these guys to be the sounds of the jungle. Oh yeah. But can they do Jerry the Belly Button Elf? Oh one of my favorites and they used you for a piece of corn that was riding the Colin Subway. that was riding the colon subway. I remember that.

Yeah, there was a penny. Things that couldn't be digested so they'd wind up in this subway on the colon and play that city music. And it was a penny and corn sitting next to it. And I remember with that, they called it Jerry the Belly Button Elf because they originally wanted Jerry Lewis.

Oh. And then when they hired me, I started throwing in like a lot of Lewis like, hi little ho with the lint loaf and the thing with the approaching, I hate lint loaf. Women, women are not funny. Did he say that one? Yeah, he did. I don't know so many words, but he did.

Your story about meeting Jerry too is a fun one, Bill. Oh, when I said... I went backstage with... Oh gosh, who was it? It was Tom Kane who played the mayor on... What's that cartoon? The Powerpuff Girls. He went with us, and Tom Kenny. Oh, Tom's another guy. Yeah.

Great talent. Tom's the funniest thing in pants. So here we are. We're going to meet Jerry Lewis. Our knees are knocking. You know, and we made arrangements, but they got his manager and they said, we want to come back and meet Jerry. Well, look, everybody wants to meet Jerry.

I don't know if it can accommodate you. Well, we're on all the Nickelodeon cartoons. His daughter, Danielle, the eight-year-old, knows. And, uh, all right, I'll call you back. Guy calls right back immediately. Jerry, we'll see you right after the show in the dressing room. So I come in into the dressing room with these other guys, and, uh, there were posters of all of his movies in glass frames and stuff. And his little daughter's walking around

and she has no idea who that is. Oh. You know, she has no idea that he once was in an elevator going, I'm looking for Mr. Bay Woldenthal. No, no, Mr. Bay Woldenthal. Mr. Bay Woldenthal. Bay. Bay. Ben. Ben.

You know, she had no idea. And so we went in and there he was. Bay bay Then you know she had no idea and So we went in and there he was he was in a red windbreaker and I always thought he was tall and he was like Sort of like my size, which is really kind of short He probably shrunk a little but but he but he was gonna take a picture with all of us and there were plants in his room and he and he finessed one of the biggest fern leaves like where his ass is, you know. So before the picture it would spring up between his legs.

And he went, he did the perfect thing you'd think he would do. Did you see that? I grew a fern. I grew a fern. Did you see that? I grew a farm. I grew a farm. Did you see that? And I said, Jerry, I went to, I walked for about three, four, five miles to go to the Royal Theater in Royal Oak, Michigan to watch you do a stage show. He was promoting the movie, The Nutty Professor. And I said, I couldn't wait to see you.

I wanted to see you so bad. And he goes, well, nevermind that. Boy, was I harrowing for that picture. That's what he thought of a personal appearance. He was horny. Stars used to come and show up in theaters. You know, people don't remember that. Yes, yes.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. You guys want to talk a little Stooges? Oh absolutely. Let's talk about Joe Dorita. Now Joe Dorita, fucking Joe Dorita's family owns the three Stooges fortune. How did he pull that? He was the zero talented Stooge.

At the time he might have been the only one standing. Well you see one day Moe's daughter wasn't looking. You're not going to hit me are you buddy boy? Yeah buddy boy? Yeah, buddy boy was his big name. Buddy boy. Yeah, it was like, you know, a schmuck. And he would go, buddy boy.

Yeah, and it's like, I just always felt like, it's like they needed a third one, and they went out in the street street and saw a fat bald guy. Yeah, that's all it was. Good enough. Joe Dorito was in those old short subjects that I think, who was it made those? Gosh, Columbia. There was a lot of guys like Ben Turpin had short subject and Hugh Herbert. Oh, that's right. Schaap had his own short subject.

Oh, and then Pete Smith. Pete Smith, yeah. Yeah, and so did... Edgar Kennedy? Did he have shorts too? Yeah, he did. He did. But they used Joe DeRita. He had a short or something like that and he was trying to fix a refrigerator. You know, these new inventions, they're throwing me. You know, and he just goes, ah, that's great, that's Joe Dorita all right. You know, hey Mo, you know, hey Mo, you think we did the wrong thing by letting that Joe

Dorita in here? The trail is losing its dynamic. Yeah, you're probably right. Oh, Joe! You know. I don't want to stop him. Did Besser steal, Joe Besser steal his act from Baby Schnooks? From the radio?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, shut up! I don't have to! You! I don't have to! You! I don't know, he was... It was a little Burt Lahr. And a little baby Shnooks.

He rocked to a certain degree, but nothing that could snore in on the dynamic between Larry and Mo. I didn't know he was contractually prevented from being hit, Joe Besser. I knew he didn't want to be. Yeah. He didn't want to be hit. I didn't know it was in the contract. Wait a minute.

You want to be a stooge. You can't wait your whole life. They find your numbers up. They finally make you a stooge and you can't be hit. Imagine the stooges without violence. It's like, hey, Mo, I'm looking out this window at the ocean. Yeah, it's pretty placid isn't it, Porky Pie? You know, it's like...

Even though, it claims ships and it claims lives. Yeah, but what I like about the ocean is the way it slaps around the boats. Like I used to do to you and Kurt. No violence. No violence. I was watching a short... We fucked up with Joe DeRita Moe. Come on, say it. I was watching Disorder in the Court. I'm still trying to figure out why there's a letterpress in the courtroom. Oh, of course. So Curly can get his head put in there. Yeah, well, that just, they had stuff like that

in official buildings, you know, federal buildings and stuff. You had to have a letter pressed. But the funniest thing in that stupid movie is one thing that the judge said. You know, this parrot comes in out of nowhere, and he saw everything and the parrots giving them clues and he goes, Ha ha ha! Ha! Find the letter! Find the letter!

And the judge says in all seriousness, What does this parrot mean by find the letter? That is dead on. I mean, I didn't laugh at anything else in that except when most small swallowed the harmonica And then there was one movie where they're in a high society of course dinner party and They and they're making a cake and they say to the woman. Oh Shit, no, the woman goes, reach into the cabinet

and get me the marshmallows. And there's one box marked clearly marshmallows and right next to it the other one is bubble gum. Now why would a high society woman

have a giant box? Yeah, right out with the silverware and the bone china dishes there's bubble gum. Give him the good bubble gum. And the good chocolate. By the way, that judge in Disorder in the Court, this is really a weird trivia, was played by an actor named Edward Le Saint. And he's notable because he's in horse feathers and duck soup. Wow!

It was like a cross-breeding of comedy. Everybody was everywhere. Vernon Dent. Oh, he was great. You know, I thought he was like this big snapping turtle, always played such a put-out man or pissed off or at his wits end and he played guitar. Wow! You know he played like as a matter of fact he was in some movie and the movie poster had him holding an electric guitar. Wow. Geez. Didn't he go blind? Yes. Vernon Dent? Yeah. Vernon Dent in his last years was blind. And someone told me a story that Moe used to stop over and visit him.

And whenever Moe stopped over his house, he brought a bag of groceries that he'd secretly put in the refrigerator. And then put his head in a letterpress. Oh, you. What's the matter with you put his head in a letterpress he's telling a really heartfelt story I apologize here's the question will we do those things will you ever to go to the nursing home and ask for George Lopez he's in 307

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't go on. Used to appear in Abbot and Castellamo. He did indeed. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He played like some Navy cook when they were at sea. Oh yeah. CMB, uh, you know, a put out Navy cook.

Yeah. He was miscast. I think he's in the, he's either in Buck Privates or Buck Privates come home. I think he's in, I think he's in one of those two. I hope I'm not misspeaking. Billy, I learned from you that Shemp and Lon Chaney Jr., that there was an attempt to put them together as a poor man's Abbott and Costello. Wow.

Jigsaw and Benny the Bounce. You know this? Well, I have to be able to go, oh, nothing doing, kid. Did you know this? Well, I have to be able to go D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d have seen whatever happens in that room whatever you hear lock the door don't let me out after midnight what do you know about my six pack low what do you know about fake it's the wolf man I don't know I don't know. Joe Parma. Joe Parma? Fake Shemp. Oh, the fake Shemp, that's right.

Where did they find him? Shemp had died and they still had three shorts. They had it complete. Oh, because they said the back of your neck looks like Shemp's. And you look like you got your hair cut with a ball from a Chinese restaurant. And he moved around, the best way to explain it was he moved around like on Seinfeld where was George Steinbrenner. He would like start running sideways and bouncing from side to side and that's what phony

Shemp used to do. He'd like like jump from foot to foot to make himself like wobble so you couldn't see the face. Oh can you imagine some actor that was his ambition to be a phony Shemp and Shemp was voted ugliest man in Hollywood in 1940. No! Chachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachach try this one? Well, for less? Yeah, oh so. You would be, you would be in the, Gilbert, yeah this one here. Let's see, now I thought that Billy could do his choice of Jay Leno or Larry Fine. For which character? You would be, you would be Tommy. Okay. And Gilbert, you would be Henry. I'll do the best I can. What do you want to do? You want to do Larry? No I'll do Jay. You'll do Leno? I'll do the best that I can. Okay and Gil

why don't you? I don't come in to suck it's really my intention to do something as well as I can. You know and I'll admit it if it's piss poor or if it's hair. Well we don't have to use it. What do you, who do you want to do? You want to do James Mason? Oh, okay. Alright. So I'm Henry Hill. Yep. Okay. I feel like it's an audition.

Gilbert Gottfried, I'm here to read for Henry Hill. I'll read you in. Yes. You're a pistol. You're really funny. You're really funny? You're really funny? Wait a minute, wait a second. What do you mean I'm funny? Oh, oh yes. It's funny, you know. It's a good story. It's funny, you're a funny guy.

Wait a second, you mean you like the way I... What? It's just, you know, you're funny. It's funny, you know, the way you tell the story and everything. Okay, okay, come on now. Funny how? What's funny about it? Just... I had to do that low J voice. What do you mean? We have a great show next week. Okay, I'll do it.

Just... What? What? Just, you know, you're funny. Wait a second, wait a minute now. You mean, let me understand this, cause, yeah, and maybe it's me, maybe I'm a little fucked up, you know, but I'm funny how? Funny like a clown?

I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucked up, you know, but I'm funny how funny like a clown. I amuse you I Make you I'm here to fucking amuse you What do you mean funny funny how teach me how to be funny cuz I need late-night shows Just you know how you tell a story. What? No! No! No, I don't know! You said it, how do I know? You said I'm funny, okay? Well how the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what's funny! Get the fuck out of here, Tommy! Get the fuck out of here, Tommy. Hehehehehehehe high-pitched Jay Leno voice, but this is the first time

I've heard the deep Jay Leno voice. We've got a great show for you next week. Wynton Marsalis. And, you know, they tried to book Marty Engels and I said no, I said that's it. Bill, can I- No. You know what this is though? Gilbert does the same, you profile a situation that could have happened or could never happen in a mazillion years. You just profile what on earth they would have said.

Because when Gilbert and I aren't doing characters, I think we run out of stuff to say at the very same time. And it's awkward. Can I ask you a couple of questions from the fans, Bill? Yes. This is... Yeah, why not? I like to answer, eh.

I never heard anybody do the range of Leno either, the high and the low. It's brilliant. But it is like the running of stuff to say, and then we're basically like voices coming out with stuff. Yes. Yeah. Like, oh, I don't know, just pick somebody. Captain Kangaroo. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Mr. Moose. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This is from Ray Gastini, one of our listeners. He says, Bill, love your Marge shot missed out on the entire steroid era in baseball. Would she have any thoughts in retrospect? I don't care what white players do. I don't care how they win. Come on.

It's the future. If you want to stick needles in your ass with junk and juice in it like a like a peg Damn pincushion go right ahead Roger Clemens. He was my hero Here's another one from that Comorowski hey Billy we all know future Rama Ren Stimpy. Are there any roles that you wish, or any roles of yours that you wish were better known or that more people got a chance to hear? No. I was a journeyman.

From day one I just said, I'm happy to have a goddamn job. I was happy. I didn't care who did what. I didn't care who liked what. It was just an assignment. And of course I fell in love with everything that I did, but some stuff, you know, the pitch might be low and inside, you know? Well, it's funny. What always got me, you know, you'll hear black actors say,

well, they always cast me as a gang member. Or women would say, I was just the girlfriend And I thought you're being cast Yes, yeah job for Christ sakes What's the matter with you? You know my my uncles would be up like in heaven right now my old Irish uncles You had a chance to work for 18 hours a day and you didn't do it. You, you fucking asshole. Cause they worked, they would get so drunk, they would, you know, go past happy hour and get to be 10 and it's like, Oh Jesus, they're going to be closing down.

So he would just leave his stool and go down to work and sleep in the doorway until it was time for them to open up. Amazing. Wow. Amazing. Come on, get up you for them to open up for work. Amazing. Wow. Amazing. Come on, get up, you bums. You want to work?

Yeah. Yep. How did you come to succeed Casey as Shaggy, Bill? Is there any story attached to it? Yeah, there is. He was a vegan or a vegetarian. And he finally, like he took this really serious, the shaggy role, and he was in the middle of one of the lines and I guess he said something like, you know, come on Scoob, let's get a

Scooby snack. Why does it always have to be meat? You know, he just started pontificating. Why don't they eat vegetables? You know, and so he didn't want to do it anymore. You know, it was a gig, you dummy. Same thing, yeah. You take, keep the gig. Is there anything... What's wrong? Someone wrote that. You didn't write that.

I always felt like if God came down and said, from now on you'll work constantly, but you'll only be the Pierre the French Chef. I'd go fine. I would too. Yeah, slap the mustache on me and fine. I wouldn't, uh, you know, sit there and laugh while they're stealing my shoes. I'd try to make the best deal I could for Frenchie the French Chef or Pierre. Ricky the Bricklayer. Yes! You love that Casey Kasem tape by the way? Yes. The infamous tape? Yes. With Snuggles? I know you're a about a little dog named Snuggles. You know, and he's yelling and saying, by the way, why am I sitting here doing a goddamn death dedication to a dog?

You know that Dave Gill? Yes. Oh, it's a glass of water. You know who's funnier than that? His wife. Jean Casem? Yeah. She started throwing hamburger at the police

when they came to see if he was there to get him out of there. Oh, geez. Go ahead! You want meat? Meat! Take it! You know, referring to her husband, but she never set that up. So she's throwing raw hamburger at the cops. And my big goofy wife, Jean. Yeah, I remember. He says,

I'm supposed to do an introduction, and I'm talking about a fucking dog dying. Yeah. Beautiful. Snuckles. Hey, you know what it means that he was discerning with his American top 40s? Not like that dopey Shadow Stevens.

You're also a fan of the Buddy Rich tape. Yes. Oh yes. Oh god. How dare you motherfuckers play like that for me? Play like shit for me? You play like fucking children out there. I should come over there with a pail and a shovel and some sand.

Maybe you'll play better for me. You know, he was just, he was out of his mind. Clams. And then there was the- Cl new bending what is this in the bass and the trumpet you got your bells so shove the fire up your ass and there was the Paul anchor tape that's another good one yeah that one's like not even the fucking way it is no but I mean it wasn't funny, it was eerie. Yeah, the guys wear shirts.

Because he wrote the Kodak theme, you know. Only yesterday. And Diana. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And then you hear this gremlin mad at the world. What's a matter? What's a matter with you?

You're one of the most successful songwriters of all time. Angry guy. I'm a proud Egyptian. What is it the guys wear shirts? Yeah something. Well Brian Koppelman gave that tape to Pacino when they were making Ocean's 13, the ice slice sliced like a hammer so it turns up in the movie Yeah, and he was saying that stuff fucking way it is yeah He keeps saying when I slice I slice like a hammer But he would walk up and down on the tour bus You know after a gig and he'd be like building up his raids, and then he would explode on somebody and you what are you doing?

Get that beard off. I don't think I will shave it off. You'll shave it off. This ain't the fucking house of David This is a band the buddy with faces No beards What do you do for me? I don't even know who you you know and the guy would say I wrote the chart for he had An English band obviously I wrote the chart for he had an English band obviously I wrote the chart for I'll take Manhattan. Oh, yeah, well you can take Manhattan and get off this fucking bus right now Right now I'll give you a right-handed to the brain if you have one up there Bill I know you're a Twilight Zone fan. Did you see Richard Donner on the way out?

Yes, yeah direct yes, but he directed the nightmare 20,000 feet Bill, I know you're a Twilight Zone fan. Did you see Richard Donner on the way out? Yes. Did you let him? Yes. Yeah, he directed The Nightmare at 20,000 feet. I'm really funny like that, you know. I can't go running up to people. It just sort of has to happen like, oh, by the way, this is, yeah. Nobody introduced me to Albert Brooks. I was at this party and he was looking at me because I think he knows who I am from The Stern Show and I didn't know what to say and I was just kind of like

too shy, you know, I don't know, I'm weird like that but I'll make sure that I get introduced him next time I like him. Oh, he's just wonderful. And also Man From Uncle, which was your favorite show as a kid, he directed a lot of those. This is Robert Vaughn. Let's see what thrush that evil organization has in store for us next week. And I, Amelia Kuyakian, like my friend Napoleon, I come and I go. No, and everybody knows the new man from Uncle.

Yeah, the old one was just. We gotta get David McCallum. Oh, that's right. We gotta find him. He's still going strong. Get him on here. Bill, in the time we have left do you want to talk about the death of Ted Healy, the mysterious death of Ted Healy, or do you want to talk a little bit about the genesis of Larry Finet-Woodstock, which I'm only doing because I know our listeners want to hear a little

bit of it. Oh, well Ted Healy, I mean, I don't even know, he's just like, he was not a good leader. He was just like by de facto, cause he was Moe's friend, and he said, I got an idea, you guys just screw around and I'll slap ya. And warn you. You know, that was his whole thing.

But it didn't work, it was never funny, and he didn't know how to flow with them, he was like a square peg, but he ran the show, but he died. He drank himself to death I think well they say was in a bar fight at the He was stabbed to death of beating that death beaten they say by cubby broccoli the James Bond Producer and his and his cousin. Oh, wow was a mob really yeah broccoli and his cousin who was married to Thelma Todd and Gloria Vanderbilt and

Wallace Beery was there and Apparently boil everything picked a fight. Yeah, just end this and maybe it was covered up by by the by the restaurant owners or by who knows by the studio, but and No, he Lee I forget it may have been a beta legosi picture one of these real low-budget horror movies where he was the wisecracking reporter yes he kept popping up and it was one this is where you go this guy was with the Stooges? He isn't funny at all. Yeah.

He probably, I don't know, I mean, you know, I have those guys in my family, they thought they were a crack up, you know, and they were all like, you know, these boyos, these Irish boyos with the map of Ireland written on their face. You know, and they have a couple of drinks and, you know, I got a dirty joke for you. Did you hear about the guy that couldn't come? We had to go get him.

See me falter. You know, all this Celtic stuff. May the wind be always up your ass. And when the Stooges just became the Three Stooges, it's like Moe became the new Ted Healy. Yeah. Pretty much. He was ordering them around, smacking them. But Moe wasn't just like farting around, you know, while he was not being the boss.

He was an actor. Yes. He used to go out and do these shows, probably 10 nights, I mean, 10 nights in one town. And, you know, he learned his craft. And he was good enough to play. Remember when they switched roles one time? There was a Pullman car that...

Oh, yeah. Larry stole it. It was a train car? There was a Pullman car that, um... Oh, yeah. Larry stole it. It was a train car. It was like a dining car. Yes. And he hid it in the woods and Moe was the, uh... I'm the state inspector. I heard you had a train car here. I think it was... Well, you're sitting on a platform. What do you think it is? You know, and Larry was trying to be, um, Stanley Kowalski.

Yes! With a spattered t-shirt. Hey, what's the big idea? Saying that crap to my girl. And Shemp was drunk throughout the whole thing. Yes. And he would drink this fire water and be like, you know, no! Kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikik It was all the stooge noises at once. They had a giant canary

Names Carrie. Yeah In a giant scary It was coops on a juju Oh That a paint no, it was Pain in the Pullman. I think Pain in the Pullman was another. You mean they did two of them? We're having an intellectual film discussion about whether it was Pain in the Pullman or Cooke's Son on Choo-choo?

I know, we should do Dueling Peter Bogdanovich's. We're analyzing this movie. Analyzing. But you know what? There is nothing better in the world, if you ask me, than sitting down with somebody who will just say something stupid that takes you right back to that, you know, takes you right back to that moment. It is funny. Larry is doing this character. That's like, that's not at all like Larry. No.

And it's, it's, when you watch that movie, you go, they must have been dropping acid. Because even by three Stooges standards. But the year would have made it, they probably just saw Streetcar Named Desire. Probably the big film that year. And so, Larry, do you think you can step into a new role, like be the asshole that tells everybody else what to do and be half shot and, oh, I don't know, I'll try it. You know, and then it was like, you know,

hey, Stella! You know, hey Stella! You know, cause what's his ass sounded like Larry a little bit when he was yelling. I can't even remember his name. Some reviewer I am. I love when you talk about how the similarities between George O'Hanlon's Jetson and Larry because they were from the same part. They were both from...

They were from Philly. From Philly. The same sound. There was something in the water there. There was something in their DNA that blocked their nose to their mouth. It was like a roadblock there, because Larry would be like, hey, Moe, you put too much tinsel in the tree.

You know when you got to blow your nose and you can't find a handkerchief? Hey, I got to blow my nose. and George O'Hannell was like, oh, come on, Janey, honey, the clean is 500 miles away. It'll take an extra five minutes just to get there. Woo! We gotta let this run. Larry, you want to come into a nice hot tub of sound waves?

Oh, boy, I haven't had a bath in sound waves since July 4, 1910. A nice hot tub of sound waves. That's what I remember about the Jetsons. And they'll have them. Oh yeah. Yeah, Life is Good, that company. What is it?

Life is Good, LG. Oh, LG will come up with a hot tub of sound waves for everybody. What do you think? Should we wrap it up? Okay. I don't want to leave, you know that. Bill, it's too good. We could do eight hours.

I know, but when I first came on the podcast, Gilbert was going, well, the old clock on the wall says, you know, and I was like, I said, wait a minute, wait a minute, what do you mean you have to go? Are you that busy? Trying to terrorize me? I'm nervous as it is. Give us a little post stroke, Larry. Oh boy. Sorry.

Well, Mo came up with the idea to poke you in the eyes, except he didn't really do it. He would just hit over your eyes. I mean, that takes a lot of talent. And then, these guys in the factory, the sound factory, would put in the sound effects. So dark. What time is it? He said he has some guy near him. He goes, hey, what time is it? He said he has some guy near him. He goes, hey, what time is it?

Guy goes, five o'clock. You know, like he was late for something. He's all straight. I gotta get to the cafeteria to that Pablum dinner. Five o'clock? I don't know. Oh my God. You know what?

When I first saw that tape, they just showed the screen and there he is looking at you I don't know. Oh my god. You know what, when I first saw that tape they just showed the screen and there he is looking at you because they were waiting for him to... he was waiting for them to ask him a question and it looks like one of the screens on Star Trek where that head would just be there and look at you. Absolutely. People of Earth. Throw away your hot sticks to shoot metal. Okay, now I have to wrap up.

Alright, I love you very much, I hold you in high esteem. Thank you. And you too, Frank. Thank you, Belly, you're the best. A show like this that needs a producer. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr One of the kings of the voice-overs, Billy West. Oh, Billy. Thank you, Gilbert. Thank you, Frank. You are something else.

Thank you, pal.