Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Brad Garrett

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

GGACP celebrates the birthday of actor-comedian Brad Garrett (April 14) with this ENCORE of one of the funniest interviews in the podcast's history. In this episode, Brad talks about the camaraderie of Golden Age comedians, the strange appeal of the "Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts," the comedic genius of Martin Mull and Fred Willard and the challenges of portraying his longtime hero, Jackie Gleason. Also, Sammy Davis buys a soda, Liza Minnelli sheds a tear, Gilbert plays the sitcom neighbor-from-Hell and Brad opens for the Chairman of the Board. PLUS: "Fargo"! Art Fern! In praise of Mr. Warmth! The generosity of...Jack Carter? The comedy stylings of "Greg Barrett"! And Brad remembers the late, great Peter Boyle! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try the new creamy parmesan and bacon Quarter P pounder today and discover how words are so unnecessary for a limited time only at participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is a producer, stand-up comedian, comedy club owner, voice actor, and popular and versatile actor of both the big and small screen. You know him from feature films such as A Bug's Life, Ratatouille, Music and Lyrics. I know I pronounced that. Music and Lyrics. Finding Nemo. The Pacifier. Tangled.

Christopher Robin and Ralph Breaks the Internet. And dozens of TV appearances, including Roseanne, Seinfeld, Fargo. This Is Us. I'm Dying Up Here. Law and Order SVU and Penny Dreadful City of Angels, as well as a terrific Jackie Gleason biopic and his own situation comedy, Till Death, which I've heard of. I've heard of. And of course, as police officer Robert Barone and a long running Everybody Loves Raymond, for which he took home three well-deserved Emmy Awards. As an actor, he's worked with everyone from Woody Allen to Robin Williams. And as a stand-up comedian, he's played to sold-out rooms and opened for legends like Diana Ross, Sammy Davis Jr., and Frank Sinatra. And since 2012, he's been the owner and operator of Brad Garrett's Comedy Club at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. His 2015 memoir, and it's a funny one, it's called When the Ball Struck. I think I can relate. Please welcome to the show one of the funniest human beings on the earth and a man who somehow managed to piss off Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, and Jilly Rizzo, the multi-talented Brad Garrett.

Oh, and that was the cut-down introduction. That's the cut-down one. That's the cut-down one. That's unbelievable. How are you, Gilly? Hi, how are you, Brad? I'm good. I'm good. Nice to see you, Frank.

Good to see you again, Brad. Thanks for doing this. Oh, it's a pleasure. Gil, are you okay? Yeah. Good. For, you know, considered for me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the podcast is wonderful. Thank you. You know, considered for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, the podcast is wonderful. Thank you. Thank you, sir. And it's a pleasure to be on with you. Now, right before this interview, I was watching Chicago PD, another Dick Wolf. Right. that another Dick Wolf.

Right. The lead guy on that, to me, sounds exactly like you in Everyone Loves Raymond. Really? Yes. You'll have to watch that show. In Chicago PD? Yes.

Do I have to watch it? Who's the actor, Bill? What, is your cable out, Gil? I mean, come on. Are you into the Chicago and the Nashville TV? No, no, I wind up watching them. You like Procedural Zone? They're good, right? Some, yeah.

You're great in those two Law & Order episodes, Brad. Really good. Listeners have got to watch Law & Order episodes, Brad. Really good. Listeners have got to watch those. Thank you. You play a wonderful sociopath. Thank you. Well, typecasting, what can I tell you? Now, and I worked, I think, on at least two of Till Death.

Yes, you sure did. You were hysterical. We had a lot of fun in those days. I think you played, didn't you play a friend that was, like in real life, very well endowed? Yes. Yes! Am I right? Yes, he was Tommy Campbell, your new next door neighbor. Tommy Campbell, that's right.

It's like we just got through playing tennis or something, and we're in the locker room, and I pull my shorts down, and you are in shock. Yeah. You know, I still have night tremors. It was... I was the guy with the big dick, so... Yeah, I wish I was the guy with the big dick. Yeah, I wish I was. If I was in proportion, I wouldn't have to do this.

Gil, it's referred to in that episode, which I watched last night, one of the two episodes, as a trouser cannon. That's what Gil said, right? Yeah, and Brad, you complained to your wife at one point that you're built like an Asian child. Yes, that's exactly right. The lovely Jolie Fisher. Oh, we had so much fun on that show. She is amazing.

Do you remember being on the show, Gil? Absolutely. I remember the first show I did, I was the, you know, of course, the neighbor. And I had like a young, hot-looking wife. So you were real jealous of me. Sure.

Like you do now. Gilbert, you're playing your usual creepy... Absolutely. Pervert guy. I've cornered the market. Yeah, and also Joe, well, oh, Martin Mull. Martin, yeah. Yes.

Martin Mull was in it very well. He's so terrific. We had a great time. No, I had trouble getting people to watch it. I remember right before they canceled us. And we tried everything, but you know, you got to get people and they weren't, they weren't watching. And we were getting, I got a call right before they canceled us. After the last time we aired, get a call from like the head of Fox at the time. And he says,

listen, he said, you know, the ratings aren't great. We've tried to do all we can. And I said, we appreciate it. You've been very supportive. They gave us four years, almost a full four. He said, you know, last night you got a.06 in the overnight rating. Point zero six. Not a one, a.06. And I went, Oh, that's, that's rough. And he goes, so, you know, we're going to have to do the inevitable. He said, is there anything

that you would like us to try before we, you know, unfortunately have to cancel you. And I said, just give us three more episodes to air. And I guarantee you you I can take you to a zero. He didn't get it. He was like, well, why would we want that? I said, I said, look, any big shot can get a two, three, a four, one. You'd be the only network that has a show that is literally a zero. That doesn't mean anything to you at all. And needless to say, that didn't help. And we were canceled the next night. But it was a lot of fun.

The fascinating thing about Till Death, Brad, is it was a different show almost every season. Yes. And in the fourth season, it became surreal, like the old Abbott and Costello series. That's exactly right. It was like anything goes, break the fourth wall, you know, raunchy jokes that I can't believe you guys were doing in primetime. Yeah, everything, we ended up, they changed my daughter on the show three times.

Three times, right? We had three different daughters, and the woman who would sit there with the script and do the continuity took her life actually after season three, she was so crazy. I didn't mean to bring it down, but she was like, you're killing me here with the continuity. She says, which one's the daughter now? And, but it was, it was crazy. You know, we, we didn't, we didn't know what we were doing, but we had fun. And, you know, you never know. You never, she, she didn't know what we were doing, but we had fun. And, you know, you never know. She didn't really take a life.

She was Jewish. So she said, you're killing me with the continuity. I bought it. You're a convincing actor. Gilbert, you had a sheep fetish, your character. Yes. Yeah, I was just going to say that. I said, the wives wanted a meet, and I said, I don't like people. I like sheep.

The way you, you still deliver it unbelievably. We had a lot of friends on that show, too. J.J. Wall. Yes. My friend, my old friend, Jerry Lampert. And played Stan and Kevin Rooney. J.D. Wall. Yes. My friend, my old friend, Jerry Lambert. Played Stan and Kevin Rooney. J.B. Smoove was on it. J.B. Smoove.

The hilarious J.B. Smoove. We had Dom Herrera played... Oh, sure. The obstetrician. Yeah, the obstetrician. So we had a lot of... That's a great thing

when they let you do your own thing. You get to bring on people you like. Unlike Gilbert. And I remember there was another on the show where Jolie Fisher says to you, of me, she says, you really envy him, don't you? You want to be him.

And you go, no, I like being able to reach for the peanut butter. Is that what I said? Yes. You know, the second episode ended with outtakes. Another thing you guys were doing in season four. Yeah. There's a garage sale. Martin Mull has the painting.

Yeah. That Gilbert's character. Gilbert, your character's a little like Rod Mull has the painting Gilbert's character your character's a little like Rodney's character in Caddyshack he's a vulgar rich guy he's a little like Al Chervik yes and then you guys screw up a line, I'm watching this thing

and all of a sudden you guys break character and it's just outtakes yes I remember I was supposed to lean in to Martin Mull and say, so, Grandpa, what puts the smile on your face? And the minute I said, hi, Grandpa, I doubled over laughing. Yeah.

And then that was it for this scene. Oh, Martin Maul, he's so just amazing. A treasure. Did Jolie ever introduce you to the old man, Brad? In doing that series? Did you ever meet Eddie Fisher? You know, I didn't. No, never met him.

But I met the mom several times, Connie. Sure, yeah. And just a delight, just a sweetheart. A larger-than-life character. So sweet. Yes, she is. Yeah. A real star.

Jolie one time said to me, she goes, you remind me of my dad. Well, she said that to all men she feared. That's not a compliment. Oh God, I hope she doesn't watch this. Did she really say that? Do you get any picture a lot, Gilbert? Do people look at you and go, Eddie? All the time.

I'm so sick of him right now. He'll sing Oh My Papa. Yeah, right. Oh my papa, so gentle and so lovable. There you go. Now we get it. and so lovable. There you go.

Now we get it. Brad, do you want to talk about growing up and being kind of obsessed as we were with comics that would come out on the Carson Show? Oh, sure. Specifically Rickles, staying up to see those great comics and or being obsessed with the old Dean Martin roast, which we talk about a lot here.

The Dean Martin roast. You know, to me, Rickles is, you know, was really one of my faves. And I, I, because I really don't have an act, he did, but I just, I just love to spritz and, and, you know, play off the crowd and really, you know, kind of do, you know, the insult thing, the racial thing, which may have to come to a stop. But, you know, I've always just loved kind of writing that, you know, I really didn't know what

my, what my tone was for so long. And when I started out, you know, I was, it was very, you know, very pedestrian comedy. It was very hacky. It's still hacky, but the difference is that it's never going to change. I'm hacky. You know, I've always felt like an old Catskill guy, even when I was 2021 doing my standup and I started doing impressions and, you know, you know, horrible things like, you know, what if Bill Cosby was a pilot, you know, before he was a rapist, you know, I would do crazy stuff like that. And then I just opening for all these acts, these big acts where, you know, they never want to see the opener. I just ended up going, well, I, you know, I mean, how much material can I do on my birth, you know, being a 12 pound baby, how, and I just broke out of the act and started

just, you know, kind of roasting the front row and the people always coming in late for the opening act. And that's kind of where I found my, my niche, you know, and, but I remember seeing Rickles on Carson when, you know, when I was 11. And I remember Johnny and Ed crying with laughter. And I was like, how is this guy getting away with, you know, calling Ed fat and a drunk and talking about Carson's wives? I mean, this was just taboo. This was crazy. And crazy and you know then i would see carlin on there and and you know rodney was a was a big influence for me early on and and um so it was a vent television with three networks remember gil oh yeah just to stay up when it was a special night when a comic you wanted to see was coming who were your guys gill i mean who who when you were starting out oh god so many i mean the ones you mentioned definitely yeah and uh i remember the older

comics i loved like milton burrell jack benny yeah groucho sure loved groucho. Yeah, it was, it was a different era and, um, a lot of comics helped each other. You know, it was, it was just a different thing. They would help each other out. And that's without sounding corny. I always wanted to have my own club because I started in that town and I've been working there for over 30 years and people were really, really good to me. And they really helped me out even at times when I maybe didn't deserve it. And I just never forgot that. And it's great to find amazing talent on the road who can't get on a lot of these shows. You know, back in the day, if you killed on The Tonight Show, you know, you had a pilot deal the next, not that I ever killed on The Tonight Show, because I never did. They were all quite mediocre, honestly. But I remember show you know you had a pilot deal the next not that i ever killed on the tonight show because i never did they were all quite mediocre honestly but i remember back in the day or when ray

killed on letterman she had the pilot the next week nowadays it just it seems even though there's so many more outlets it seems 10 times harder for young comics to uh to really score. Well, it's just like, I always say like years ago, as if you were an actor, if they saw the back of your head in a crowd scene for two seconds, the next day, everyone wanted your autograph. Now you could, now you could. I think that's porno. Yeah.

If they see the back of your head and they want your autograph, I don't know. Yeah. It's different now. You all disappear. Now you could star in 5,000 TV shows a night. And people say, I saw you still working.

Too many shows. Yeah, that's it. It's, it's too many shows. The error that Brad's talking about Gilbert, we mentioned this on the show. Didn't Gabe Kaplan get a sitcom just from, from that bit that he used to do that, that Cotter was in his act. Yeah. Yeah. And he would do the Ed Sullivan. Correct. The Ed Sullivan. And, and that's, you know, that was it. But like you said, Frank, there were three networks. And that was, you know, that was a way to go. Staying up to see Rodney or Rickles. You remember the bit with Rickles and the Geisha girls in the tubs?

Oh, yes. With Carson wrestling each other in the hot tubs? Yep. And the time he broke his cigarette lighter and Johnny takes the camera crew to go find him where he's shooting CPO Sharky. Yeah. Event television. With Rodney, it was like two shows a night. First his stand-up and then the panel was even funnier than the stand-up.

Yeah, that's right. And there were 90 minutes. It was a 90-minute show, Carson. It was an hour and a half. What did you love about those roasts? Because we love them. We have a great affectionminute show, Carson. It was an hour and a half. What did you love about those roasts? Because we love them. We have a great affection for them, too. But as an adult, you look at them again and you see how they're assembled.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. It was like the biggest stars not doing what they usually do. So it was like a crazy bachelor party that you got to watch of these huge icons. I mean, you know, when they when they roasted like John Wayne or or I just rewatched the Sammy roast the other night. And, you know, it was it was just great.

It was just but it was that, you know, you felt that camaraderie, you know, you felt that there was a closeness. I think that's why the Friars Club really never took off in our era, the way they wanted it to in New York and especially LA. stuff because I think people love it when someone gets roasted, whether they're in the front row, whether they're on TV, because it evens out the plain feel of life where we always feel we're not as good, we're not as successful. And regular people feel that in their own life and in their own work. So when you're taking a shot at an icon or a guy in the row, in the front row with a gorgeous chick and a beautiful watch, and you're devouring him, there's something wonderful about it because it just puts everyone in a vulnerable position. And I also, when I would watch stuff like that, well, I was also a major Jerry Lewis fan. Sure. Did you ever meet him?

Yeah. And how was that? I love being able to use the classic line, well, he was always nice to me. Right, right. Good. And with Jerry. I'm sure he respected you yeah he i remember sitting outside the friars club when they were putting a plaque of him on and and i wound up sitting next to jerry and uh wow he would he was the jerry you want him to be, you know,

like silly and yelling and heckling people. And every time he'd make some dopey joke, he'd laugh at his own joke and then turn to me and squeeze my arm, like to pull me into it. And I thought, this is... Like, what do you think of that? Yeah, exactly. How great.

That's an honor. Yeah, that's like getting an award. You bet. I remember one other thing, because we were talking about how the fries, all those roasts were put together. I remember meeting Milton Berle and him saying that at those things, they would go, okay, Miltie, you heard something really shocking.

All right. And they point the camera at him. Okay, now this is making you angry. Really? Yeah. And they'd give a bunch of reactions. Oh, you mean they'd get the pickup shots right after the fact? Yeah, you could tell.

Like, somebody's pounding the table. Yes! Or shaking their fist. Ruth Buzzi's hitting Orson Welles with a purse. Sure. So I guess they only had two cameras. Yeah, probably. Right, wow.

That's amazing. If you go back and you watch them, even if you watch the late night promos for the DVDs of the Dean Martin roasts, you can see how clumsily they're assembled. And when I'd watch those old comics, I thought,

this is what I want show business to be. Yes. Yes, that's exactly, exactly right. And that's how I felt. But it's not. No. It's really, really not. Did you interact with Jerry, Brad?

I met Jerry once when I was opening for Sammy Davis. Sammy ended up doing like five nights at Bally's with Jerry Lewis so I went in and I saw the show and it was you know to me performer wise there was no one like Sammy Davis Jr. I mean you know and what's funny is I grew up listening to that I grew up the records in my house were, when they weren't being thrown, were Sammy Davis and Tony Bennett and Sinatra. So even though it was a little before my time, I just had such a fondness for that music. And I still do. And being able to open for Sammy and these guys, it was such an honor.

being able to open for Sammy and these guys, it was such an honor. But what was so funny is when they were doing the gig, they were co-headlining ballets. Jerry would come out, he would do 30 minutes. Sammy would come out, he would do 40. And then they would come out together at the end for a 10-minute encore. And God bless Jerry. He couldn't let Sammy have his total 40 minutes. It's like, he's doing, you know, you know, he, he, he was doing like, um, like, like, like his big thing back then they were really going to get Sammy Davis Jr. They

wanted him to star in Phantom of the Opera. Wow. And he was when he got sick, he was because I was on the road with him at the time. They were actually negotiating it. It was huge on Broadway. And he was going to open in London in Phantom. So and when he does Phantom, God bless him with this face. You know, he would look at me. He'd go, you know, I don't need the mask. I got the Salomo here. I got the ant here. And so when he would sing, when he would sing, Christine, touch me. And it was the pin spot on Sammy.

And he was supposed to play a deformed guy. God bless him. Who the Phantom was. So he's going, Down where nightly only were. And he's doing the thing. And in the background is Jerry Lewis going back and forth on a bicycle. Yelling,

yelling, lady. Every, every two minutes. And the first night I went twice. bicycle yelling, yelling, lady, like every, every two minutes. And the first night I went twice. The first night, you know, Sammy was like,

you know, kind of letting it go and, you know, doing, look at this guy type of thing. And by the second night, you could see that it was, you know,

it was his, his encore number. I mean, you know, it was his encore number. I mean, you know, Jerry was coming back anyway. It wasn't like they weren't going to see him again. But, you know, that was Jerry. And Sammy took it like a real trooper. But what do you think? That's sort of typical Jerry, isn't it? Yeah.

I got one of my greatest showbiz stories. And, I mean, I love this. And I know it may be in the book, but no one read it. So this will be fresh. But when we, when, when you would tour with Sammy, he would never fly. tour buses and they were custom made where everything was to his scale. Okay. And he would cook Creole food on a little hot plate in the frigging bus. You know, you're, you're, it was during the summer tours. Remember the tents, Gilbert, we would do the tents back East, the melody tents. So we would,

we would drive on the bus and he wouldn't put the air conditioner on because he would say the chops I can't have for the chops I can't have the AC. He'd say if you don't like if you don't like my bus if it's too hot go on the band bus.

Well it was fucking Sammy. I wasn't going to go on the band bus. So I'm I'm schvitzing and'm on the thing, and he's making the Creole. It's 100 degrees. So he used to love Orange Crush and Strawberry Crush. It's big with the brothers. I don't know if you know this, Bill. Any fruit with a card, they love it.

So he said, okay, we're stopping at the gas station next gas station we're getting a soda so we stop at this gas station in cohasset massachusetts the bus opens up sammy davis gets off and you know he would dress during the day with all the stuff on so he gets off the bus the people the gas station are freaking. And we're standing in line. It's the band. It's me. It's at the at the vending machine to get a soda. And he was always so gracious. Everyone would go before him. And I was so nervous. I was letting everyone go before me because I was so brand new, right? I just started working. So it's at the end of the line and it's me and Sammy's behind me.

And it was in the days where you had to have coins for a soda. And I don't have any coins. And I turn around and I go, Mr. Davis, can you change a 20? And he looks at me, he goes, babe, a 20 is change. Wow, a 20 is change. That's a great show. I love this. That's a great show.

But he was the kindest man. Tell us that whole, all those stories, how you had that job opening for Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Well, that was in the intro where he pissed off, where you pissed off Jilly. Yeah, yeah. Now, first, it was like Sinatra used to mispronounce your name. I think. Yeah, well, you know, I opened for him when he was really in the twilight of his year. I mean, I opened for him the last two years he was alive. Okay.

So the memory wasn't incredible and he called me Greg Barrett. Okay. Instead of Brad Garrett. And you know, I wasn't in show business long, but there was, you know, there's an old adage, you don't correct Sinatra, right? So for the first two weeks, I'm taking a bow to another fucking name, you know, he's going like, ladies and gentlemen, Greg Barrett, and I'm out there and taking a bow. And one night I go off stage and I go, And one night I go off stage and I go, um, uh, Julie Rizzo was in the wings. I go, Mr. Rizzo, can I ask you? So I said, uh,

um, you know, uh, Mr. Sinatra is, uh, is pronouncing, you know, my name incorrectly. And he looks at me, he goes, do you want the gig? Okay. And I went, well, no, I'm having a wonderful time because I've been a friend of his 42 years. Half the time, he don't know who the fuck I am. I said, okay, okay. But then the other night, about a week later, I, and you know, opening for him was, was a horror show because, you know, it was $200 a ticket back in the eighties. And that was a lot show because, you know, it was two hundred dollars a ticket back in the 80s. And that was a lot. And, you know, no one wants to see the opening act. And I'm in Atlantic City and I'm just I'm dying. I mean, I'm just eating it. And Jilly would say, now, remember, when Frank wants to go on, he'll tug on the cord. You never knew if you were doing 20,

to go on, he'll tug on the cord. You never knew if you were doing 20, if you were doing 10, he would tug on the cord and you had to wrap it up. So I'm bombing for about 10 minutes and people are just going, Frank, where's Frank? You know, during my entire set, where's Frankie? You know, it's this type of stuff. And I feel a tug on the cord and I'm like, oh, my God, out of all the nights he wants to get on early, I'm going to have to. So I say in a sarcastic way, but kind of, you know how we do jokes for ourselves. You're the king of that. You're the king of that. So I say you're the king of that. Yeah. So so I say you've all been great. Stick around for Frank. you've all been great.

Stick around for Frank. Okay? And they didn't get it. And I get off stage, and as I pass Frank in the wings, I hear him say to Jilly, find out what that means. Okay? Okay?

So now I'm in my dressing room, and there's a knock on the door, and it's Jilly and one of his big people, Hank, you know, who was who made me look petite. That's how big this other guy was. And Jilly goes, Frank wants to know, what does it mean? Stick around for Frank. And I said, well, no, it was it was obviously a joke. And he goes, but they're here to see Frank. And I said, well, no, it was, it was obviously a joke. And he goes, but they're here to see Frank. I said, well, that's, that's in there lies, lies the joke. You see, I said I was

bombing. So when I said stick around for Frank, I was making fun of myself because why wouldn't they stick around for, so I'm explaining it and they're glazed over so jilly jilly looks at the bodyguard next to me goes mikey what did you hear and mikey goes well i heard him say stick at the frame okay so right away i'm going look there's not a man alive who would say stick at the frame especially on a microphone right in atl Atlantic City. Right. You know? And they were like, well, we don't get the joke. And then all of a sudden, I was opening for Liza. That was my punishment.

And Dreesen was back. And Dreesen was back. Yeah. So we just, so Dreesen was the main guy. Of course. But, you know, once in a while, you know, he would fill in and Dreesen would take the time off. But it was a time of my life.

It was, you know, there's nothing like it. Two things with that story. Your mom, if I have this right, your mom was offended that you were bowing to the name? Yes. What did she tell you to do? She comes to me. She goes, I don't understand why you're bowing to someone else's name. Your name is Brad.

It's not Greg. And like a schmuck you're thanking him I said mom it's Frank Sinatra and I'm not she goes sit him down just sit him down I'm going to sit Frank down sit him down and introduce yourself

go Frank I'm Brad and then he introduces you of course it's a woman who's been married six times so you know she So, Frank, I'm Brad. And then he introduces you. Of course, it's a woman who's been married six times. So, you know, she had it down. But I remember, I mean, as a joke, the crew, they had a shirt. On one side it said, stick around for Frank. And on the other side it said, Greg Barrett.

And that was our tour gift. That's what they gave me at the end. But what happened with Liza, too, that she wound up in tears? I made a Liberace joke. Okay. And it was like the first night I was with her. It was about, and it was a hacky joke, Gil. We were in Vegas, and I go, if you go to the Liberace Museum,

just don't sit down anywhere. You know, it was a ridiculous, not a great joke. She comes backstage crying, crying. She goes, why would you make a joke about Liberace? And I really thought at this point that they're setting me up to, you know, it was just a joke. It didn't mean anything. She goes, well, you know, it was just a joke. It didn't mean anything. She goes, well, you know, he's my godfather.

And I went, Liberace's your godfather? And I said it like that. And I said, boy, it's a little different than the movie. And she was, you know, so I've never, you've been able to make a great living, Gil, saying what you want. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that. Although I've lost a couple of jobs saying what I want to. Yeah, but beautifully, but beautifully.

Yeah, he goes down in big flames. I love it. Now, when you were on that infamous roast, one of the most famous roasts that you were on with that line after 9-11, right? Yeah. All right. How did you feel before you did it? And did you know it was going to get that? And how much did you really care?

It was funny. It's like I wanted to be the first one to address the elephant in the room. Because the roast, Hugh Hefner was in New York, and it was like a couple of days after September 11th. Sure, two days. Okay, so it was still smoking. Yeah, yeah, there were black clouds.

And I remember saying, I have to leave early tonight. I have to catch a flight to L.A. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a direct flight. We have to make a stop at the Empire State Building. And they were booing and hissing. And I thought at that point, well, I've lost them as much as I could. And then I go into the aristocrats joke and they were screaming. They were howling.

So it showed they. One right after the other? Yes. Wow. What a recovery. And it showed they needed to laugh at that point. Yep, yep. That's a great... Now, you know, there's always rumors about stuff.

How much flack did you really get? Because I think most of the comics were probably going, so brilliant, so bold, you broke the ice away i mean what was really because i know deep down you're a sensitive wonderful man what was your what was your takeaway from it uh yeah i i felt there the comics totally got me and it was so different like after the september 11th joke i lost them as much as anyone could lose an audience. And then they came back, like, screaming and howling and pounding their chairs. Wow.

Oh, I remember after I said the line, somebody yelled, too soon. And I thought it meant I didn't take a long enough pause between the setup and punchline. Did you say that? Oh, that's so great. Speaking of roasts, I would direct people, and they're online, to the Joan Rivers roast with you two guys. And Gilbert's bit about you being fucked by a leprechaun.

Yeah, so great. You were so great. You were so great on that. Turns out to be Mario Cantone in the payoff. Oh, that was funny. I remember... She was wonderful. When Joan came up, she said,

Oh, Gilbert Gottfried. When I watch him, I want to drive to Malibu and blow Mel Gibson. Oh, that's so great. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. You were talking about old-timers helping each other you got you got a kind of a boost from an old-timer from jack carter or early in your career and then indirectly norm crosby that's right yeah jack carter got me my first television uh gig uh on gig on the Norm Crosby comedy shop. And boy, oh boy, it was a horrendous few minutes. I just, you know, did what I did, but he really gave me my first break as did Norm. And, and yeah,

yeah, he was very, very supportive. He's a funny guy, Jack too. You know, he was supposed to play Kevin James' dad in King of Queens. He went right down to the wire for that. Really? I didn't know that. Yeah, and of course it went to Stiller. But he was a good actor. He was a funny, funny guy and, you know, very intense.

I mean, you know, if you didn't like it, you'd know it, and that's okay. We had him booked here, and he went and died on us. Is that what happened? He agreed to do it, and it was something like two days later. Oh, man. He would have been fun. Oh, yeah. He would have been fun.

He was one of those. You've had some amazing people on this show. How long have you done this for? Since 2014. Wow. That's unreal. It's been going. Good for you.

Over 300, including a lot of old-time comics like Pat Cooper and Larry Storch. Oh, I love those guys. And Marty Allen. And Marty Allen. Oh, I love him. You know, we got whoever was still kicking. Sure, sure. Because we lost out on Jack.

That was a killer. Yeah. But, you know, like you, we're fans of this stuff. We love this history. We love Old Vegas. We had Tony Sandler here. Sandler and Young. He just regaled us with stories of Old Vegas. Maubone Vegas. Wow. That's incredible. And how he was in Belgium when the Nazis had taken over. Yeah, he had wild shots.

He had Nazis who would use his house as an office. They'd take over people's houses and live in them and use it as their headquarters. They'd go into people's houses in Belgium and they'd say to them, just act normally, act like nothing is happening. Yeah, he had a fascinating life. I can't believe that. And he had no choice?

What? They're the fucking Nazis. I mean, you can't say, you know, I got an Airbnb coming in. The Nazis. Nazi-occupied Belgium. What about Jackie Vernon, another great old-timer you worked with? Oh, I loved him. He was great. I worked with Jackie Vernon, had to be 35 years ago,

one of my first improv gigs, and it was the one that Bud Friedman had in, I want to say, Palm Beach. It was one that didn't last long. And I was a feature act. Jackie Vernon was closing. I mean, literally 35 years ago. And I knew of him through my parents and everything. And he was still doing the things with the slides.

And here's my wife at the park. Here's my wife. Funny, funny stuff. And I remember we both loved watches and we both had fake watches on i had a a fake paddock on and he had a fake rolex and and he goes but you can't tell right you really can't tell i go you can't he goes look close what does it say i said it says bolex he goes yeah bolex but you can't tell. So he says, he says, I got a guy in Miami who sells fake watches. And the guy came down and he had fake watches, $25 each.

And we bought fake watches. And it was a rough, rough week. And he really wasn't drawing. And I had no draw back then. And we, when it came time to get paid, we go to the back of the room and a guy who we hadn't seen all week, kind of a, you know, an intimidating guy, very well dressed. He was like, we're not going to be able to pay you, you know? And I was like, oh, the hell you're not. You know, Jackie grabs my arm. Like you fucking stupid. I'm not used to word, but just relax. I go, Whoa, what do you mean? How do you, yeah, you guys didn't do

well. So I run out, I called bud, you know, on the pay phone and's like, what's the problem? What happened? And I said, well, they're not paying us. Is he in a blue suit? I said, yeah, the guy's wearing a blue suit. Get out of there as fast as you can and I'll handle it when you get back to California. That's a great point, Freeman. It was owned by a couple of shady guys that were having a problem with, you know,

running the room. of course Bud was good for it and he took care of me and Jackie but those are the fun days. Here's a treat for you Brad. Give him a little bit of Jackie. Here's some slides from my vacation.

Here's Manuel leading us around the quicksand. vacation. Here's Manuel leading us around the quicksand. Here we are from the waist up. Here's a bunch of ropes and picks and things.

I'm sure you did that for him, right? I never met him. I wish I had. Oh, he passed that for him, right? I never met him. I wish I had. Oh, he passed a while ago, right? Yeah. Oh, he would have loved it. Did Fred Gwynn ever hear your impression of him? No.

No. No. Too bad. Too bad. I mean, these impressions honor these people, you know? Yeah, yeah. I used to love him. I used to love him.

Now it's like, you know, when I'm dying, I'll pull one out. You know how it is. I remember Jackie Vernon was one of those impressions I do when I'd entertain myself. And one of the bits I do where the audience would scratch their heads was Jackie Vernon and Death Wish. I mean, if the police don't offend us, maybe

we ought to do it ourselves. I never heard that one. It's great. It's great. He's got such a great voice. You know, those gigs you used to do at Caroline's, Gil, where people would come expecting the Gilbert Gottfried that they heard on the Howard Stern show,

and they'd get 10 minutes of material about Jackie Verdon and Corbett Monica. Corbett Monica. Completely befuddled. Corbett Monica. You could watch these audiences, Brad, just sit there and, I don't know, I don't know what he's talking about. As Gilbert would go on and on to amuse himself. Right, right.

Oh, it's the best. But you love this Vegas history like we do. I do. What about Charo? You opened for Charo. I opened for Charo. That was my first opening gig. And she was hot.

She was hot. was hot she was fun um and boy you know blew my mind and and i don't know if john murray knows this but she could play a guitar oh yeah like you couldn't believe i mean like a flamenco style guitar she was was unbelievable. Yeah. She studied with great guitar players. Yeah, she did. As I remember. I remember I used to run into her when I was doing Hollywood Squares. Yeah. She was hysterical.

Those were fun in those days when Henry Winkler was a producer and Whoopi was the center, right? Yeah, it was so funny because I grew up watching Hollywood Squares thinking, oh, you know, it's fun, but it's the bottom of someone's career. And then when I started doing it, I thought, this is fun. It was fun, yeah. And people, you know, that never knew the show got to see the show and it was fun. They should bring back an R-rated version for cable.

Oh, that's a great idea. You know, and just do it like that. Whoopi told me she was trying to recreate that period. She was trying to recreate the days that you miss, Gilbert, that you reminisce about where people smoked cigarettes and drank on the air.

Old showbiz. Which reminds me, this is a great segue, because one of those guys that would have a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other was Jackie Gleason, when he did the magazine show from Miami. So great. Yeah. Miami. Now, you did a terrific job

as an eight-foot Jackie Gleason. Yeah, well, you know what? After Ray saw it, we went to the premiere, and he said, well, you just did it. Jackie, the NBA years.

It was crazy because, you know, Jackie was like 5'10". Yeah. They had to build up the furniture. They had to make things look larger. They had to, you know, increase the doorway in the old set. We had an amazing director, Howie Deutsch directed it. And the people in the cast had to wear boots and lifts. So I didn't towel over them because the other thing, it was unbelievable. It looks like when they would come back wide and show everyone's feet is a joke. It looks like we were

all leaving a kiss concert. You know, we had like these huge boots everyone wore that had the laces. But I knew how bombastic that Gleason and how brilliant he was. When he would go off on Alice, you knew he would never hurt her. You knew he was just a big baby having a tantrum. And that was his brilliance. And I knew that if I towered over her, I would become a bully and it would look intimidating as opposed to vulnerable. So when I sat down with them, I was like, how can you help me set design wise? Because they didn't want me to do Gleason. They it was a CBS biopic back in the day when they used to do movie of the weeks.

And and they went out to everybody and I was on Raymond at the time. And I said, you know, I'd love to, I called Les Moonves because they wouldn't let me audition. And I called him up and I said, Mr. Moonves, my name is Brad Garrett. I'm on Raymond. It's like, you know, Raymond was still, we were like in the middle of where we were. And I said, I'd love to be able to read, you know, for the Gleason movie that you guys are doing. And he said, well, who do you want to play? And I said, well, I was I was hoping I could read for Trixie. I thought he was joking. Right. And it's again, dead silence. And he goes, well, you know, we're out to John Goodman or Oliver Platt to play to play Gleason. And I said, well, you know, we're out to John Goodman or Oliver Platt to play Gleeson.

And I said, well, they're brilliant. And thanks for taking my call. So those guys turned it down. And then it went to Mark Addy, who was a funny comedian. He was British, but he really had the look and he had the big blue eyes and he was kind of a bigger guy and the right height. But he was British and he bigger guy and the right height. And, but he was British and he had trouble losing the accent. And they called me at the, they had no one at the last minute and they said, get to Montreal if you want to do this. And, uh, you know, you shoot in two days.

So the script was, you know, you can only do so much on a network, you know, as opposed to, I always said, God, if it was only on cable or something where we can get away with more, but what the script was, it was really just a send up to the honeymooners. It was, it was more of an impression of Gleason than really what he went through. So I hired a buddy of mine who's a great writer named Dave Boone. And I said, you know, he was a writer on Hollywood Square. We all know Dave. Yeah. I love Dave. And he loves that old, yeah. He loves that old time of, you know, that old, that old Hollywood and that old Vegas thing too. And I said, you know, it's reading like a characterization as opposed to, you know,

this guy was, he was brilliant, but he was a womanizer and he was an alcoholic and he had a lot of demons and we're not seeing any of this. And they were so under the gun and behind schedule. They weren't looking at the dailies as much as we were worried they would. So we just shot most of the stuff the way we wanted to and went off script as much as we could while staying within, you know, practice and standards, of course. So it became a little bit of an anomaly as far as a movie, you know, for the network. And the people have been very kind about it. I really

loved it. I mean, I had the time of my life. It was someone I dreamed of playing and didn't think I'd be able to. But it fell in my lap and I got lucky. I was going to say, in true Gleason style, you threw the script out the window. Yeah, exactly. What's interesting there, too, is Gleason, now what people get embarrassed about, and when they did the long-awaited Cedric the Entertainer honeymooners, they didn't use the line at all. And that was him going, you know, bang to the moon, Alice.

Yeah, yeah. And the funny thing is, when you watch the honeymooners, what people miss the point. It's like he would threaten her, but you knew Alice had the upper hand. Exactly. He had the upper hand, and every scheme that he ever came up with was to better her life.

And that was the key. Everything he tried, everything he went after, even when she said, it's not going to work, Jackie, and he would go, it's going to work, you know, whatever, whatever he would, it was all to give her that bigger apartment, that mink coat, that new car. So he was brilliant in being able to play that. And the writers,

the writers were amazing. I talked to the only living writer. I shot this in 2000. Can't believe it's that long ago, but there was only one living honeymooners only living writer. I shot this in 2000. Can't believe it's that long ago. But there was only one living honeymoon writer. And I go, what was it like? He said, I wish I had a dollar for every time I got hit in the face with the script. And I go, really? He goes, we were not treated well, but no one could make our words sing like that man. How about that?

He said, and to this day. You know, I think about how lucky I was, but your average joke, he would turn into gold. He just had that. So he said it was kind of worth taking it because no one wanted to work for anybody else in 1952 because he was the king. There are stories, of course,

we've talked about them on this show, Gilbert, of him throwing writers' paychecks in the swimming pool. You've heard these stories. Yeah, sure. Swim for the checks. You know, it's funny. I wanted to just interview his daughters and his wife, who was alive at the time, his last wife. And they would have nothing to do with the filming. They didn't want, you know, they, they did not want to be involved. And it really hurt my feelings because I was like, gosh, I want to, I want to give it some credit. I want to do it right. Can you, you know, let's talk about the good stuff. And they were like, no, there's nothing to discuss. And then after it came out, they came, she came to

visit me, the wife, and, and, and we had a quick little hello and a sit down. And it was really, really wonderful. But you could tell there was a lot of pain there. You know, I think there's pain and, you know, God knows we all got pain, right? I heard a story like with his composer. Yeah. Oh, Sammy Spear? Sammy Spear, yeah.

Very good, Sammy Spear. Sammy Spear. Yeah. And good, Frank. Well, I think he one time said to him, Sammy, go work on the music. It's never been any good. I could hear that. Well, you know, he was such an incredible composer, Gleason. Yeah. I was listening to one of his albums that somebody gave me just the other day, and these orchestrations, that was his thing. He wanted to be a musician. And he has a few albums out, you know, that are like candlelight music and cheesy and fun, you know,

but you listen to them and you go, wow, this is some music. So he really, you know. He's a guy with a lot of talents and a very good dramatic actor. Really good. Yeah. Really good. Yeah. We've talked about Soldier in the Rain.

And The Hustler. And of course, The Hustler. Oh, The Hustler. So brilliant. And I loved what he did. The last thing he did with Tom Hanks, to me, nothing in common. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, nothing in common? Yeah. Is that it? Yeah.

What a genius. Yeah. You talked to Don Rio, who wrote for him? Did he tell you the stories of when Don was running till death? We had him here. Really? He never talked about it. He wrote for the Miami show.

He wrote for the... I spent a year with Don. I had no idea no crime stand corrected it wasn't the miami show it was those specials that they brought back in the 70s where they brought the honeymooners back yeah when they were okay really sweet and gleason made gleason made uh don and his writing partner sit in a sit in a men's room he's got stories he was seriously did he really yeah he was abusing writers till the he gave them a he gave them a little love seat and a tv monitor that was in a men's room.

I can't believe that. He was abusing writers to the end. God. You think he would know there's nothing more important than the writers? He's a guy with an unhappy life, I mean, in many ways, and certainly an unhappy childhood. And Gleason is another case of uh there's been there was gleason gene wilder and jan murray that i all heard stories about their mothers died when they were young

and they would go home they'd see a movie or whatever and they go home act it out and entertain their mothers that was their first audience yep yep i used to do that but uh my mom would walk out i would do my jokes and she'd say i saw it with the original cast you you and dave captured a lot of things accurately in the movie, though the part where his father removed himself from the family photo albums was factual. That was, yeah. I mean, there were traumatic things in his life that made him the way. And you really got the Brooklyn accent down so well.

You know, I worked with a great vocal coach named Larry Moss at the time and uh you know everyone thinks I'm from the east but I was born and raised in Los Angeles so but my dad was from the Bronx and I felt well that's easy to do and and uh I met with the dialogue coach and and he knew he was a huge Gleason fan and I did a few lines from the script and he goes, no, no, that's the Bronx. And I was like, it's New York. He goes, no, no, no, it's not. He's from Brooklyn.

And I had to relearn all the vowels and all the things all over again. And it was really exciting. I never poured myself into so much research. The good thing about it, because Gleason was on CBS, is I was allowed into all of the archives. I was able to see things that no one saw. Outtakes they didn't want anyone to see. Interviews, it didn't go well. And my favorite one that everyone saw was the 60-minute interview when he was long in the tooth and in his 70s and ill. And that's how we opened the movie. We did it with his last interview.

And that was one of my favorite parts and being able to portray him. There's a, there's a great story that I found in my, uh, in doing research for this and why, and going back and watching the, uh, the Jackie movie,

which is very good. You got nominated for an Emmy, by the way, we should point out your performance is wonderful. Paul Lind was getting an Entertainer of the Year Award at the Emmys. Do you know this story? No.

Jackie was hosting the show, and Paul Lind was presented with the Entertainer of the Year Award, and he said, I can't take this award. I'm standing next to the funniest man in history, and he handed the award to Jackie. Is that right? True story.

And Gleason never saw it coming. Did Gleason take it? I don't know. I don't know. I have to do a little deeper research. But how about that? Wow. That's amazing.

Oh, I love Paul Lind. He's great, too. He's come up here a few times. Has he really? Yeah. As a subject. Paul Lind. He's still around?

No, he's come up as a topic. Oh, he's come up as a topic. Excuse me. I was going to say, I thought he died of stupor. Yeah, he came on. He was but he looked right he looked right he came over jackie vernon i really need to do my homework was famous for being he a a major jew hater yeah oh very anti-Semitic. That's been confirmed.

One of the producers One of the producers on the Hollywood, the new Hollywood Squares that both of us were on, also worked on the original Hollywood Squares. Jay Reddick. Yes, yes. And I was talking to him

and he said, like during lunch at Hollywood Square, all the other performers, they dined together and tell stories and laugh. Paul Lynn would get bombed out of his skull, get really angry and go,

oh, those fucking Jews. They're the reason I don't have a career. The Jews held me down. Yeah. That's a good Paul. That's the best. It's a good Paul Lind. It's a good Paul Lind.

We got to get Jay Reddick here. Gil, if you ever want to hacky act, I can help you. I'm doing quite well on my own with that. You're still one of the most brilliant men. You always have been. Thank you. You always have been. Thank you.

We've speculated about what Jackie thought of Carson basically kind of lifting Reggie to do Art Fern. Yeah, he had to hate it. It wasn't subtle. No, it wasn't. It was a lift. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, it's true. He probably didn't care.

And the other one was the lift from Jonathan Winters. Yeah, Marty Frickett. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. How did you find Johnny personally, Brad? You did three shows with him. Well, you know, always very gracious, always nice.

I was probably a fill-in, you know, the fourth, fifth call, to be honest. He would come by and say hi before you go on. Always a gentleman. But I didn't have that in like a lot of the boys. Yeah. But as long as we're talking about the Carson show, do

tell us the Cosby story because it's so much fun. Oh, boy. Unless you don't want to. No, no. I don't mind at all. I was working in uh in in vegas uh doing my first vegas gig i was opening for crystal gale the country singer sweet sweet lady kind and uh i get a call i'm in my little room at the desert inn and uh uh, hey Brad, how you doing, man? And

I had impressionist friends and I really thought someone was fucking with me. And I went, hey, what's going on? He goes, listen, I got a question. I'm going to be guest hosting the Tonight Show tonight.

And there's a comic that's not doing it. And your name came up. And I thought you could do it. And I said, well, I'm opening for Crystal. No, I'm at the Hilton. I'm going to, I'm at the, we're going to fly. Johnny is sending his jet. And Johnny's jet is going to pick us up.

And you will be back by 730. So I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. I'm definitely not on anyone's radar. I had just done star search and maybe, you know, he felt I was safe and, you know, wasn't. So I get on, they pick me up. I get in the limo next to me is Cosby. He's reading USA Today and he's on the front page and I'm going, thank you for this opportunity. No problem. He doesn't say anything. It's a short

walk, a short drive to the airport. We get on, It was Carson's jet had the J.C. on the tail. Well, I can't believe any of this. And I'm on all I'm thinking of how many people could have said no or were unavailable before I got this. Because, you know, I'm being realistic. What am I? So I get on the he opens up and this is when The Cosby Show was number one. He opens up another paper. I think it was all, the LA Times, he's on the front of the calendar. And I'm like, I'm sure I'm frozen. I'm not, I don't know what to say. I've never been on a Learjet.

And there's a bowl of fruit right in front of us. And he goes, have a kiwi. And I said, thank you. I'm good. I said, I had an apple on the train. He didn't, he didn't get it. He didn't get it. And I'm like, great.

I'm fucking bombing before. So we're about to land. And he goes, hey, I heard that you do an impression of me. And I said, yes, yes, I do. Actually, I thought it would be fun. My set, I'm closing with it tonight in my set on the show. And he goes, don't do that. And I have my set, which is, a it's it's not a barn burner i have my set

figured out and i figured you know i'm doing the you know what's in the mcnugget every happy but i'm saying to myself if i close with cosby and he's sitting right there. How can you hack out better than that? And so when he said, don't do it, I went, why? And he went, well, because you don't need to be yourself. And I said, well, I'm doing four impressions. And he looked at me, he goes, okay, do three. And I was like, oh my God, how do you not do Cosby? I go out there, I start to do my set.

It's not great. It's going over, it's the whole thing. As I'm getting closer to my five and a half minutes, I can tell I'm not going to end strong. So I go into Cosby, and I said, and the audience erupts. Oh my God, this giant Jew is doing Bill Cosby. They're thinking. And I look over at the desk and he's looking down, writing something on a piece of, and I, and I know he's not happy and he didn't have me over, you know, I didn't come over to sit.

And it wasn't strong enough of a set anyway, to be honest. Now I have to fly back with him on the jet. Wow. I get to the airport. We get on Johnny's jet. Not a word. Not a word. And I'm dying inside.

I'm like, oh, my God. It wasn't a great set. But now I pissed off the biggest comedian in fucking history. And I'll never forget not a word on the plane.

You know, it was only a 40 minute flight on a Lear, but it's a long 40 and I'm and we're about to land and I go, yeah, what the hell? I'll try the Kiwi. I grabbed the fruit and he gets off and I put my hand out and I go, thank you. And he goes, yeah, right. And just shook. And I mean, went away. And then I didn't see him until 10 years later at a CBS party. Wow. Just jagged right by me.

But out of desperation, you know, you're thinking to yourself, what do I do? Do I piss him off on live television? Or do I get out with a strong six? So I took the six. You made the right choice. You think? Why leave with a three when you could get a six?

Gilbert, tell Brad what you found out about Bill when you did the show and what explained his occasional absences. Very, very weird. I was talking to two of the writers, and they said in his schedule, it was printed very neatly,

in his schedule, there would be an hour set aside to teach comedy to Asian models. Is this for real? That's what they told me. They were dead serious. Isn't that gold? See, that's why you see so many funny Asian models nowadays.

Sure, sure. I mean, it's just a model or an Asian alone would be a long course. It's a long, but you put them together. And it's a... No, this is what you do. When you hold the top ramen, don't eat it, sip it. Just sip it.

And then I'm gonna put this in the top ramen. Gosh. That's the best impression of old Cosby that I've heard. Of old, yes. Pre-raping. No, I meant like 60 and older Cosby. Oh, thank you. All the Cosby impressions you hear are like young Cosby.

Yeah. Well, I'm old. That's probably why. That's why I saw Lucy Liu on stage, and she was going, Hey, Zika! Now she's funny. Yeah. See, that's where...

Oh, my goodness. We're going to send this episode to Bill in the joint. Three years. I told you. Quiet. Thanks for having me. I do appreciate it. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this.

Can I ask you a couple of questions from listeners, Brad? Sure. This is from Lex Passeris, who's a friend of ours, who's a director, a retired director in LA. He used to direct Golden Girls and such. Does Brad by chance remember what he gave out as crew gifts for the pilot of his short-lived Nebraska set series, First Impressions? Well, I'll tell you what's interesting because we had terry hughes directed that pilot and he was the big director on golden girls one of the nicest guys to this day that i ever worked with and it was my first show and i wasn't very good and he really helped me i don't remember what was the crew gift all i could think of is probably an apology note. First of all, they took me, they saw me do standup and they said, we're going to write a show around you.

You're a guy in Nebraska. I swear to God, I swear to God. I said, I said, let me guess. I run a, I run a temple in Nebraska and there's a cross burning. And I try to figure, I said, why don't you make me from Miami or from Brooklyn? No, the show was written about a guy in Nebraska. I said, they dyed my hair. They put me in a plaid shirt and penny loafers. I looked like Ellen DeGeneres. It was, it was unbelievable. I said, but why? But they go, can you lose the New York vibe? I said, yeah. And I literally, they gave me a daughter who was blonde and blue eyed. So it looked like, you know, I kidnapped her. I kidnapped her, brought her home to live with me. None of it made sense.

You should have just put Skip Stevenson in it. It's funny. Skip would have been great. Skip Madonna. Somebody who looks like that. What were the gifts? I'll have to call and ask him. He was obviously there. He was a member of the remember. I'll have to call and ask him. He was obviously there.

He was a member of the crew. It could have been penguin pajamas. Okay. I had a penguin thing back then. Quick one from Luke Simon. I had the pleasure of seeing Brad in The Odd Couple with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. Any fond memories? Well, first of all, to share a stage with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, the toasts at Broadway, was pretty amazing.

I learned a lot from Nathan Lane. He's become a wonderful friend. Well, I consider him a friend. You know, every time I call, he's like, I'm not. And I just, you know, stage is a different thing. But I think for a comic to do a play, especially on Broadway, there's nothing more exciting because you have that live audience every night. And boy, talk about nights that the same joke will land and the same joke will die the next like in our stand-up, I think it's the closest gift for a stand-up if you can cross that bridge and do something in stage because it's the biggest high. But I had a ball. You were Murray the Cop? I was Murray the Cop, and I was the understudy for Nathan.

And I go three months, and he was never sick because Nathan never got sick. And I got on a plane. I'm on my way home. I land. They go, Nathan has laryngitis. Can you come back for two shows? I get on a plane and I played Oscar for a couple of nights and and and literally shit myself because, you know, you're not practicing that role. You'll rehearse it once a week when you're a stand-in. But it was such an amazing role, and to follow in Nathan's footsteps is nothing you really dream about

when he's been doing it three months before. But it turned out okay. I had a ball. That's a show that's very near and dear to Gilbert's heart and mine. We would have loved to have seen you in that. Oh, thank you. Gilbert, you would be an incredible Felix. Have you ever thought of that?

Oh, no. How about that? Yeah. Oh gosh. Amazing. Thank you. Amazing.

You get, you get a Jackie Vernon, the playoffs. I would, they could cast Gilbert as Vinny. That would be a great Vinny. Oh, That would be a great Vinny. Oh, he'd be a great Vinny. Yeah.

Yeah. Such a good show. It's amazing, the writing, how it still stands up. I mean, it's older jokes, but they're all so good. You know? And there's so many. He was such a writer, Neil Simon. Incredible.

You know, the TV series is 50 years old this year. No. Yeah. And great. 1970, right? TV series is 50 years old this year. No! Yeah. 1970, right? Yes, sir. I love that show. The other thing that drives me crazy, and Frank and I have discussed this, and that's that

both the movie and TV series, nobody is alive from it. Yeah. Well, you gotta go deep. I think there's one pigeon sister. You got to go deep. I think one pigeon sister is alive. And if you want to go,

as I said, a couple episodes to Eleanor Donahue, who played Felix's girlfriend, Miriam. Okay. She's around, but not taking our calls. The first celebrity I ever met was Jack Klugman. And I went to summer camp with his son.

And he was living at the Outrigger Apartments in Malibu. And one day, I didn't know who his dad was. He goes, hey, you want to go to the beach? Because, you know, we didn't do sleepover camp. Because, you know, Jews raised in L.A la there's no sleeping over you can't sleep that's how you you know you go to sleepover camp next thing you know you're in a musical so so he said to me he goes hey you want to go to the beach and and we go to my dad's apartment. I walk in there and, you know, I was 11. So the odd couple was on 71, right? It was a day.

I walk in there and there's Jack Klugman in front of the TV yelling during a horse race. He was sweating out a horse race from Santa Anita. He had it on closed circuit. And I just, man, I never forgot it. How about Mr. Klugman? He goes, how you doing?

How you doing? Good to meet you. Good to meet you. It was like one of those things. And I was just like, wow. Adam Klugman, right?

How did you know that? Yeah. Well, that's well, you know, do you know him? I don't know him, but I wonder what happened to him.

He's around. Adam Klugman. Yeah. He had two sons and a younger one yeah wow this frank this where'd you get frank gill this guy's gold where did you get this guy god bless you man we're we're we're trying to get uh chris lemon and uh and charlie mathau to come on here and talk about their and talk about their dads won't that be a wonderful episode oh would that be amazing yeah we're almost close to close to closing that Won't that be a wonderful episode? Oh, would that be amazing.

Yeah, we're almost close to closing that up. Oh, would that be incredible. But let's talk to you about a couple of dramatic roles. And I have to say, your range and the work that you did in Fargo as the mobster. Am I getting the name right? Joe Bula? Yeah, Joe Bulo. Joe Bulo.

You were absolutely terrifying. And it's, it's hard for somebody who is as recognizable as you and as known as you are, uh, and, and is known for being a comedian as you are to disappear into a role like that. And, and to me, you disappeared into it instantly. I find drama. I love drama. Well, to be candid, it started really, uh, people would come see my act and they would go try drama. Well, to be candid, it started really, people would come see my act and they would go, try drama. That's only a half joke. I once had a casting director say that to me.

They came to see my act when I was like starting out. She goes, you know, you're like a big intimidate, try drama. And it was after she saw my set at the ice house. And, um, yeah, that's when I started drinking heavily for about 20 years. It was after that meeting. Um, I love, I love drama. I, I, I, I love it. You know, you, you had ice water in your veins that, that, that character just Tara Tara. I mean, I know you a little bit and i still was frightened by by this by this portrayal and you you did not do you famously said that you did not do your own stunts it was really you know again i'm so uncoordinated and i didn't have many stunts to do so uncoordinated to the point where they were like, the director said, they said, can you run like for any amount of distance?

And I went, you know, I got a bad back and I've never I've never been a great runner. And they said, OK, all right. Well, we're shooting in the snow tomorrow and I need you to run. And I was like, well, how far? And the guy goes a quarter mile. I don't know. I went a quarter mile. He says, well, we're shooting it on a crane. So as you're running in the snow, the camera comes up and that's how the, and I said, I, I said, first of all, I, I got a, I got a bunion. This is what I say to this guy. He goes, you have a what? I said, I got a bunion. He goes, my grandmother had one of those.

I said, there you go. What kind of a runner was she? And so he says, well, you know, we'll make it work. This is Hollywood. He says, we'll make it work. The next day, I'm supposed to run with a rifle. He says, we're going to follow you in a drone because the crane never showed up because it couldn't get through the snow. I said, no problem.

I didn't know from a drone. It was a few years ago. He says, so the drone is going to follow you as you're running. So he goes, start as fast as you can. And when you're winded, just walk. I run about 12 feet and I can't feel my left arm. I'm thinking I'm having a fucking heart attack. So I start to walk fast. He goes, cut. He goes, the drone was in front of you. I go, well, slow the drone down.

He goes, the drone, we have it on the slowest speed. You have to be, he goes, are you running as fast as you can? I said, I swear to you. He goes, did you ever play ball? I said, no, I never played. I said, if I played ball, would I be running in the snow in Fargo? I never played ball. They had to hire a stuntman to jog. Hilarious. Yeah. The stuntman comes off the plane. He looks at me and goes, I'll tell you, been a stuntman for 31 years.

Last week I was jumping out of a plane. The other day I went through a window. Thanks to you, I only got to jog. I am going to tell our listeners to watch all three seasons of fargo but you're in season two and no no noah hawley is is pretty brilliant he is as brilliant as they get as a writer director he's brilliant and when you saw season one you said yourself this guy is going to be how's he going to top that yeah he. He's amazing. And hiring comedians in dramatic roles, like Chris Rock is in the new season.

I can't wait to see it. And you. He gave me a shot. He gave me a shot. I mean, I had a read for it. My agent got me in there, and he was open-minded. It's like, well, I know him from Raymond, but he was open-minded, and Noah gave me a shot,

and I'm grateful for that. You were really terrific. And speaking of running, and our listeners know where I'm going with this one, Gil. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm going to make you tell Brad. That David Steinberg? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I love him. Because I want to see Brad's face as he reacts to it. I was doing a show that was directed by David Steinberg. I think I was mad about you. Yes, yes. He directed me in an episode of that. And there was one scene where I had to say a line and then run off stage. So I say the line and I run off stage.

And David, very uncomfortably, says, Gilbert, can you run a little faster? And I said, you want me to run faster? And he goes, no, no, no, not really faster, but a little more gracefully. And I said, gracefully? And he goes, yeah, not so choppy. And then he finally puts his head down and sighs and goes, can you run less Jewish? So great.

I never get tired of it. He is one of my favorites. He's a gem. We had him here. He is. Oh, he is a gem. You have answered a million questions about Raymond, and we won't ask you. We won't ask. We've had Phil here twice, by the way, and we love him.

Such a talent. We want to ask you to just say a couple of words about the late, great Peter Boyle and the late, great Fred Willard. Yeah. Peter Boyle and the late great Fred Willard. Yeah. These, you know, I'll never forget when I got the job for Raymond and knowing that Peter Boyle was going to play our dad and what fans we were. My dad took me to see, my own father took me to see Young Frankenstein when I was 12. And I never saw my dad laugh harder in his life

and that memory never left me the joy he had from Mel Brooks and Blazing Saddles and you know all that great stuff so when we knew Peter Boyle was aboard we were so excited and Ray looks at me he goes you know some things are meant to be and i said i said okay it's all right thank you right he goes no you don't get it he said your father is young frankenstein and you look like Frankenstein. That was the beginning of our relationship. But Peter was, Peter, you know, Peter couldn't have been anything further, obviously, from his character. Sure. So incredibly politically involved.

Very, very bright. Smart. John Lennon's best friend. John Lennon's best friend. Yeah. Who was his best man at his wedding. And did Peter talk about the flatulence? I mean, did Phil talk about? No.

He probably wouldn't. No. About the flatulence problem with Peter? Please tell us. Okay. It's a little long-winded, but you'll fix it in post, so to speak. Exactly. But, you know, early in year one, you know, because the show was the whole family was always on the set most of the time together. That's what the show was about. Episode 10 or 11.

about episode 10 or 11 we all notice in our own way that there's this someone's letting it go on the set okay and when this when this happens mysteriously they always think it's the big person you know because they you know my whole life if someone farts at a party, I get the stink eye. Because they always figure, you know, it's the bigger guy. He probably has, he's the same size colon we do. I'm sure he can't control it since he's a fucking circus boy. Right? So this is going on. And I have an olfactory issue.

I have a thing with smells. I don't do well. I don't do, and I have a thing. I over cologne. I over wash. Ray is a germaphobe, so he's always with the Perel. By about episode 12, we're

in a camera blocking day and it smells like something has died behind the fucking set. It feels like it's died. It was resurrected and it came back to die again. So Ray and I, he looks at me and he goes, Is it you? Just like that. I've known him

for 12 weeks. And I said, let me be honest with you. If it was me, I would have taken my own life 10 fucking years ago. I go, it's not you, right? He goes, no.

You think it's Doris? And I go, I don't know he goes um i don't know if it's patty she's a republican she's probably he goes she's probably not allowed to fart and we're we're talking it out and i go he goes it's no way it's it's no way it's the little girl right there's no way it's the little girl, right? There's no way she could pat that kind of a punch. I said, there's no way. He says, all right, well, he says, all I can tell you is this. I'm literally forgetting my line. It's that strong.

Cut to the next night. We're filming in front of an audience. The family is off the set, but we're huddled together because audience the family is off the set but we're huddled together because we can't be in the sight of the kitchen door it's a scene where the whole family is mid-argument and we all walk in camera a breaks down the director says we're on a bit of a hold we have to fix the camera me doris patty peter huddled in like this and here it comes and it's we don't we don't hear it you never hear it and it's we're this close to each other and it's brutal and doris's makeup is running and ray's giant fucking cecililia nose is getting all the air that's available in this.

And I'm looking down at my shoes and out of nowhere, Peter Boyle goes, sorry. He goes, but I got to be honest, I got two more coming. And Ray goes, how bad is your problem? He says, how bad is your ass problem that you know you have two in the chamber? I'll never forget it. And we were left now you would think you would think okay good

it's year one it's gonna the cat's out of the bag it's gonna stop it didn't stop it didn't stop now he was we knew who it was and we just you know and he goes and Peter goes

it's been an issue it's been an issue for a long time we knew who it was and we just, you know, and he goes, and Peter goes, um, it's been an issue. It's been an issue for a long time. Yeah. So that was the Peter Boyle thing. I'm, I'm weeping. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Wow. He was a Prince. He was a Prince, a smelly Prince, but a Prince. I think Phil did tell us that he turned down the Popeye Doyle role in, in French connection Connection. Yeah, you didn't want to bring that up.

Yeah, it was right after he did the movie Joe at Little Independent. He was on a huge role. A part Gleason was considered for, by the way. Yeah, that's exactly right. How do you know your history? We've talked about it. Was Sinatra also? I believe history. Man. We've talked about it on this show. Was Sinatra also? I believe so.

Yeah. Well, he was playing those parts at that point. Tony Rome. Yeah. Was that after the Manchurian Candidate or before? Well, French Connection would be 71, and the Manchurian Candidate was in the 60s. Okay, so yeah.

Yeah. So after. And just tell us a couple of words about a giant that we lost and that is your friend and co-star Fred Willard. Yeah. He was just, you know, the magic about Fred is kind of the magic about Martin Maul. That's maybe why they were perfect improv partners is, uh, he just made everything better. Um, every joke, his delivery, his, his dryness, he, you know, he, he had a way of playing the dumb guy without playing the dumb guy. He, he did it so subtly, you know, it's like when you play dumb guys, okay, everybody gets it. He was, when he played his character, he was the only one in the room.

That that thought he was brilliant as that dumb guy. Wow. He thought he was above everyone as that character. So that's what made it, you know, what I call a comedy, a twofer. You know, you give a guy a line, he gets two laughs out of it. The delivery was just was just, you know, what I call in comedy, a twofer, you know, you give a guy a line, he gets two laughs out of it. The delivery was just, was just, you know, the best. And, you know, you couldn't find a kinder guy and it was a, it was a real loss, but you know what, we were so lucky. We get to do what we love. Everyone in this podcast is doing what we dreamed of, what we loved. And, you know, you take a lot of hits in the business, but we have to remember, you're going to walk by a million people in your life and very few get to

do what they love. And you could tell with Fred Willard that it never got old to him, that he was grateful every day. Great scene stealer. What you wrote, what you tweeted about him was moving. You said it was an honor to share the stage with him. It was, it was. And I mean, it was really hard sometimes not to go up and laugh in front of people. You know, you almost prayed you didn't have a scene with Willard or Chris Elliott because, you know, Chris Elliott, I just had the hardest time keeping it together in the scene with him because he had, he just brought, you know, he had a toolbox of stuff comedically. And then Fred did too, you know, look at those jeans for Chris. You got that right. Yeah. Yeah.

No two funnier guys than those two guys for my money. As we wind down, I want to thank Brad personally for an experience that I had with him, which is the two days that you came to co-host The View. I thought that would have ended the show. My co-writer and I laughed as much as I've laughed during this episode. Oh, thank you. Boy, I had a lot of fun. That was a magical two days.

It was amazing, the immediate hate mail on Twitter. Twitter was brand new. And I remember the PAs in the wings going, oh, they hate him in Atlanta. Yeah. The funny thing is that Barbara, you were there two days in a row. Barbara loved you the first day. You were a shiny new toy, and she was absolutely fascinated and amused to death by you. Not so much day two.

Not so much day two. Not so much day two. Yeah. Well, listen. Look. She's not alone. You know what I mean? She's not alone.

I'm a tough cup of coffee. What do you think happened day two, Frank? I just didn't stop. What was it? You were just hammering it and hammering it. I think you went for broke from the beginning. Look, we weren't used to having a co-host like that, to having a loose cannon in the morning meeting in the makeup room.

It was like a hurricane blew in. So if I had a talk show. I'll never forget it. I should just name it Let Me Talk. And it's not about anybody else. It's not about anybody else. Yeah. I want to recommend your wonderful book.

It's too late. When the Balls Drop. People can still get it. I got 900 copies in the garage. We move books on this show, Brad. Pre-signed. Pre-signed. Gilbert will appreciate the fact

that in a politically correct moment, you didn't want to refer to midgets as midgets, so you referred to them as ground angels. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. The book is. Yeah. Yeah. The book is filled with funny stories.

Thank you. And it's more than a showbiz memoir. It's also, it's about marriage and child rearing and aging. My wife, we downloaded the Kindle. My wife read the foreword, what gave the title, basically the reason for the title. And she said, you got to run in here and read this.

We were, it's just that funny. And I want to tell people to find it. That's how many friends I have in the business. I had to write my own forward. I don't think that's usually done, right? You could have called Gil. Yeah, Gil or, yeah, Gil wouldn't have? Yeah. You could have called Gil. Yeah. Yeah, Gil or, yeah, Gil wouldn't have done it.

I would never give him that pressure. But I miss you, Gil. I remember when you worked the club in Vegas. We still talk about it, how you destroyed for an hour and how everyone wanted me to send you love. Oh, thank you. He did a whole hour? Oh, he did. Wow. Oh, he did. He did a whole hour? Oh, he did. Wow.

Oh, he did. He just destroyed it, man. We were crying. Crying. Thank you. Gil, you're usually looking at your watch at 32 minutes. Yeah. I know I am.

They're not through with the intro. When am I ready to go? The intro. Exactly. And I also want to recommend, like I said, season two of Fargo, and to our listeners, and people do take our recommendations for reasons known only to them, Brett, to

find the episodes of Law & Order SVU, which is a different side of you, a different side of your talent, and really, again, very impressive. I hate to tell you that you play a creepy, scary guy very convincingly. Yeah.

Are people yelling Kramer at you on the street? I get Kramer a lot. That's when you know the career is over. I get Kramer all the time. And like with Sinatra, I'm going to go with it. That's it. You know? They'll go Kramer and I'll just say, Jerry! You know, I just think I'm going to go with it. That's it. They'll go Kramer and all this.

Jerry! I just think I'm going to go for it because the bloom's off the rose. So they have no idea who I am anymore. And let's plug your foundation, the Maximum Hope Foundation. Thank you. You're doing important work. Yeah, yeah. Maximum Hope, we help families that have children with life- illnesses and we help them with daily necessities. And you could find out what we do at

www.isthereadot? Yeah. MaximumHopeFoundation.org. And you're holding poker tournaments and things of that nature to raise money? We raise money at the club in Vegas and we do poker tournaments. And and it just you know, there really aren't many foundations for families that are struggling taking care of a child that's very ill. And we literally help them with daily necessities, whether it's groceries or car payments or rent. And and they get help within 48 hours. And it's really it's really cool um good for you very lucky to be good for you that's that's that's valuable oh god all right my chest hurts gilbert what else you have for this man you got to get out more i know well dara's on my case

because i haven't been out of the house in 80 days yes i understand and one day we'll... So cute. One day we'll have to get together and see who sold less books. No reason to make the drive. I got you beat, Gil. Let me save you the drive. I beat you by about 15,000. It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable.

I've never heard of a book that literally, there's like three hardcovers out there. Three hardcovers. It went to paperback like an hour after it landed. It was unbelievable. Brad, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, but I tell you, we've done 320 of these. I've read a lot of books.

Thank you. Laughed from start to finish. Stop reading. Stop reading, Frank. No one cares. You have to do what Gilbert tells you. Look at the size of them. Do what Dara said.

That's how you keep your life right. I am afraid of Dara. Right? And I've got to tell you, Gilly, I love your special. And you know what I love that halloween night it made me well up because i used to remember when i would once in a while miss halloween because i was on the road and i just loved that special and i love that you brought the humanity into it you'll always have the humor but that you brought the humanity and we got to see that side of you and your beautiful family is such a tribute.

Oh, thank you. So kudos to you, my friend. Thank you. John, get some help. And Frank, I hope you never have to go back to The View. In a week. Seriously, you're still there? Yeah, I'm on hiatus for a week.

Oh, you're making the Oprah money now. Good for you. Do you see Dave? Will you give him our love? I will. I talk to him all the time. Thank you for that. Please do. I owe him a call. I don't know when I've laughed more at a show, Gil. Maybe the last show.

Be well, everybody. Thanks for having me thank you brad guitar solo ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത� Thank you.