Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Christmas 2020 with Mario Cantone

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

The celebration of the season continues as GGACP revisits this 2020 holiday presentation with friend and fan favorite Mario Cantone. In this episode, Mario and the boys discuss awkward child actors, depressing Christmas carols, holiday-themed horror films, the musical talents of Leslie Bricusse and Jerry Herman and the 50th anniversary of Rankin/Bass’ “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” Also, Mickey Mouse meets Scrooge, Katharine Hepburn tugs on St. Nick’s beard, Cyrano de Bergerac warbles a seasonal ditty and Mario (finally) discovers the legend of Cesar Romero. PLUS: Tattoo sings! Ed Norton swings! “Christmas at SeaWorld”! Saluting Paul Coker! And Bob Hope and Marie Osmond holiday in Saudi Arabia!  (Produced & edited by John Murray. Special thanks to Jerry Dixon. In loving memory of Mike McPadden) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. Sure, I could tell you winter's coming or that it brings cold, dry air, but you already knew that. What you might not know is that Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash is made with millions of moisturizing micro-moisture droplets to keep your skin silky soft for 24 hours. Plus it's paraben and sulfate free. No matter how dry your skin

feels Dove has you covered. Buy Dove Body Wash today at your local retailer or visit Dove.ca to learn more and order online. The following program is brought to you in living color. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre. Well, it's the most wonderful time of the year again, and for the 47th year in a row. It feels like 47 years. I'm so friggin' tired of this shit. We're not even in the same room.

You're in Florida with the rest of the old Jews. I wish that state would just snap off like a brittle dick and just sink into the ocean. Florida the best lab of the United States. Oh the worst. How's your governor, that asshole? to the ocean. Florida, the best lab of the United States. Oh, the worst. How's your governor? That asshole. Yeah, everyone die of COVID.

Enjoy yourselves. Is Marco Rubio coming over for fucking Hanukkah? Merry Christmas. Go ahead. Yeah, I mean, so what? What am I? What slur are you gonna use now? That's fucking faggot.

I knew you were gonna say that, you old dead Jew! You know, I always said to my younger Jewish friends that moved to Florida too early, I'd say, you're too young a Jew to move there. Guess what? It's way past your fucking time to move here, you old fuck. You should have been there 20 years ago. And you're walking around in your puffy down jacket, looking like a fucking homeless man on the beach. Why don't you put on a white dress and twirl around like baby Jane Hudson?

Would you like some strawberry ice cream, Blanche? Let's get strawberry. Blanche! screen blanch let's get strawberry you mean all this time we could have been friends that would be me and you on the beach murder you see that I love it I'd like to run a car right into your fucking legs whatever happened a baby That's right, whatever. Next year. And can you do that confession that Joan Crawford makes to her at the end? Oh, Jane, Jane, I have to tell you something. No, I don't want to hear it.

Jo Jane, I have to tell you, I was the one in that car. I was the one that tried to kill you. I don't wanna hear it. No, Jane, it was me. You mean all this time we could have been friends. LENCH! Alright, that's it. Let him get through the intro.

Go ahead, Gil. What's that? Okay, he's a what? Gil, plot ahead. He's a... He's a... He's a cocksucker. Yes, which you never had the pleasure of experiencing, you fucking homeless Jewish motherfucker!

I'm pretty sure that's not what's written on the page. and you fucking homeless Jewish motherfucker. That's not, I'm pretty sure that's not what's written on the page. He's a cocksucker and a good one, and you are a menoriliting piece of shit. I hope you burn your fingers and you drip wax all over your saggy balls. Blanche, you left your balls on the beach. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And one of the funniest stand-up comedians of his generation. Oh, my generation? I'd say of any generation. That's right. It's written there.

No, I'm kidding. I don't even know. Go. He's appeared in dozens of movies and TV series and numerous off-Broadway and Broadway productions, but not The Lion King. No, I did not do the Lion King. I did the workshop and you know I refuse to do it.

I'm not painting my face green, strapping the puppet on my fucking ass like a dildo. You know, like a strap on that you use with your wife all the time because you can't get it up and you like it in the ass. So she has to put it on and then you go at it. That's it. It's a delight. This is so Christmassy already.

It's so Christmassy. Okay, so I didn't do the Lion King. All right, what's next? He's currently appearing in the new movie from Universal Pictures All My Life. Yes. Which will be on demand on December 23rd. Do you think you can try not to have gas during? I try. You're burping and you got agita. You got like you're like fucking regurgitating acid reflux. I mean, really? Yes. It's called All My Life.

It's a universal picture. Yes. Go ahead. So do you do that? Movies are dead now. Yeah, but we I did it in November in New Orleans. But I mean movie theaters are. I know, and you know what's up? They released this December 3rd. They released it in November in the UK in the movies, Who's Going? And they released it in the theaters here December 3rd.

I'm like, what theaters? Who's going to the movies? Where are movies open? But anyway, it is available on demand December 23rd. Okay, all my life. It's a good movie and it's a true story. It's kind of like, yeah, it's about a couple and they fall in love.

It's very love story in a way. We will look for it. All right, Gill. And we're all thrilled to welcome back for our annual Christmas extravaganza. Fresh from his two week engagement at Joseph and Mary's comedy manger in downtown Bethlehem. Yes, I breastfed the baby in the manger because Mary was made of plastic and they needed the milk.

The man who put the ho in ho ho ho. How do you know that? And you put the ju in ju ju ju. And our very own sugar plum fairy. Oh that's a good, I like that. I love being a sugar plum fairy. Here, let me pop one out of my ass for you. Oh wait, it's the Benoit balls I left in there last night from you.

And they're Christmas colored. And look, there's eight candles at the end of it. The one and only Mario candle. I'm so glad to be here. I really am. I've got a gas already. Cause we need a little Christmas right this very minute. We do. Need a little Christmas staring at your penis.

So we need a little Christmas. Alright, go ahead. And we lost Jerry Herman last year. I know. The great Jerry Herman. I worked with Jerry Herman. What a talent. I did a workshop of the musical Dear World,

which was originally done with Angela Lansbury on Broadway, and it didn't run too long, but it's a beautiful score. And guess what? It was Cheetah Rivera, Madeline Kahn, who I worked with, who I was dying, Audra McDonald, Michael C. Hall, Alfred Molina. I wanted to be in the room so bad

that I played the deaf mute. Wow. Yeah, I signed everything that Audra sang to and I just used my beautiful eyes because as Norma Desmond would say, we didn't need words, then we had faces. How was Jerry Herman to work with? Oh, he was lovely. A lovely man. I'm such a fan.

And another Jewish man who wrote a Christmas song, Gilbert. Yeah, yeah. Yes. What's with all that? Yeah, all all the great Christmas songs were written by Jews and they they wrote the best ones They really did. Uh, they you know, and some of them were gay and Jewish So there's a two two two mints and one right there You know, I was gonna do this later in the show But since we bring it

up Gilbert this is a recurring theme on the Christmas show that you like to point out Christmas songs written by Jews. I was talking to our friend John Murray who's on with us. Audio producer John Murray. Hello John. Hello John. Here's a quick list. Gil and Mario of course you'll remember and you'll recognize some of these names. The Christmas song written by Mel Torme and Robert Wells, both Jewish fellows. Mel, the son of Russian immigrants, both Jewish guys. Johnny Barks. He wrote everything. From Mount Vernon, New York, Gilbert Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer. He wrote Holly Jolly Christmas, Silver and Gold, Run Rudolph Run.

I love that Kelly Clarkson version of that is magnificent. Yep yep a New Yorker and let's see who else we have on this list. We need a little Christmas you just mentioned Jerry Herman. Yep. We lost last year. Sammy Conn and Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. All the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. And since we have no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Shall we? Nice. I'll put a caravan for you.

Nicely done. Along with the Christmas song, I believe that was written during a heat wave. And they wrote one of my favorites too, the Christmas waltz. That Christmas Waltz. Oh, I love it. Sinatra does a great version of that. Jay Livingston and Ray Evans, both Jewish fellows, Gilbert wrote Silver Bells for Dino. Silver Bells, I love that. They wrote that for Dino, huh? Well, I think they wrote it for Bing, but Dino had a hit with it. They also wrote the

themes for Mr. Ed and Bonanza. Those Christmas songs, Frank? Yes. And let's see, Edward Pola, George Weil wrote, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I love that song. It's the most wonderful time of the year. And there are many, many more.

But last but not least, Irving Berlin and White Christmas and Mario's favorite, I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm. I've got my love to keep me warm. I sang that as Judy on your show. You did. Gilbert, that's your point about the Jews and Christmas right there. So have the Gentiles ever written a good Christmas song?

Well, a handful. good Christmas song well a handful yeah there's a handful but you look you know the Jews in the case they they knew how to write I hate to tell you I'm sure candor and I wrote a Christmas song somewhere somewhere somewhere along the line yeah or Henry Streisand did one of the great Christmas albums of all time. That's correct. And she's Jewish. That's correct. But Barbara loves to, you know, I love to design my barn with lots of tree and tinsel and lights.

And James, my husband, comes over and we do a lot of, I like candles and lights and I love barns and I love when my secretary Renata makes kale crisps. She puts them in the oven and drizzles them with olive oil and lemon and they're just delicious. Renata, make me some kale crisps right now as I'm talking to my friend Gilbert Guthrie. James, James, why does your son hate me? Oh.

Sorry, I love Barbarabra Streisand. I really do. Gilbert, I did not prepare a list of gentiles who wrote great Christmas songs. No. But I'm sure there are many. Yeah, I'm sure there are too. I mean, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Let's talk about an anniversary. Let's talk about the 50th anniversary. Can you believe this? No. We've talked on something we've talked about on this show many a time. Rankin' basses Santa Claus is coming to

town oh my husband hates that one why does he hate it because he hates the kids my husband hates children actors he hates child stuff remember that commercial that used to be before the movies with a little kid was like call 777 film to get you to get the time of the movie and the kids on the phone it's a little girl, and she goes, daddy, the movie starts at seven. And my husband would go, she's terrible. Like he hates children actors.

He'll look at them, he's terrible. Oh, oh, he'll shut it off, he hates it. So the kids in it who are like, you know, Fred Astaire's like, and let me tell you how Santa came down the chimney, and then he tells them, and then they's like, and let me tell you how Santa came down the chimney and then he tells them and then they're like, oh, that's how Santa's reindeer is. Oh yeah, that's true.

It's like, all right, but I do love that special, the burger meister. I love the gay sidekick, the burger meister meister burger. I was going to ask you, why does there seem to be a flamboyantly gay character in every rank-and-bass Christmas special Because there has to be well, you know, there's Billy D. Wolf. There's Professor Hinkle and Frosty the snowman. Absolutely There's the burgermeister's lieutenant oh, yeah Yeah, he's in Rudolph. We've got her me and we've got Yukon who's a who's a gay bear as you've oh, he's a gay bear That one's a gay bear, as you've pointed out. Oh, he's a gay bear. That one's a gay bear. He's walking around with poodles and chihuahuas.

He's like the guys in Chelsea. There's a big man with little dogs. I mean, you know. Oh, yeah, he's a big gay bear. What is that about? Big gay bears? No, all the recurring gay. There's also the Charlie in the box.

The Charlie in the box. He's the gayest one. Rudolph, oh, crack me harder. Yeah, he's wicked gay. And even King Moonraiser, he's like, you must be here on the outermost switch. He's got this weird, lispy, strange thing. But I think-

There's something going on there. And the guy, the sidekick of the burgermeister is my favorite, because he's really gay. And he's like thin, thin, thin, like the 1964 homosexual would be on the streets of you know very thin not built just like thin and you know and he's just like Sire look you know he's really we found toys toys in the streets oh he's so gay i love him he's my favorite one i love this special and i and i love Mickey Rooney who's played Santa twice

Rooney's great in that he has a great, he's one of his finest hours. He's so good in it. And his wife, and then there's Jessica, who's got the tits of Dolly Parton. Jessica. And her song is very Streisand. I think they kind of did like a Streisand thing with her. What is the name of that number?

I really like that. I forget it too, but she's in front of- My World is beginning today. Yes in front of the fountain. Yes and it's very strisand she's got the nails yeah and she's got the nails like strisand and the sound is like strisand the voice of the pitch of it oh yeah yeah I just thought how let's name all the people who've been Ebeneezer's crew. Okay. Wow. Yeah. There you go.

Reginald Owen. You're gonna do them in order? Yes, I'm trying to. Reginald Owen, right? Sure. Alistair Sim. Alistair Sim. This may not be in order.

Frederick March. Frederick March? Did it where? Yes, in a TV movie that I sent to Gilbert. Gilbert, did you get that email with Frederick March in Basil Rathbone? Yes. Yes, in a TV movie that I sent to Gilbert. Gilbert, did you get that email with Frederick March in Basil Rathbone? Yes.

Yeah, in the 50s. I bet he was really good. He was, I'll send it to you. Is it on Kinescope where you can't fucking see it? No, no, they don't. I think they shot it in color. I think it was a US, UK production in the 50s. Oh, I'd love to see that.

I'll send it to you. I would love to see that. Who else? Well, my favorite, Albert Finney and Scrooge. He's my favorite one. Right, George C. Scott. George C. Scott is brilliant. He's great. He's my favorite non-musical one.

Well, you know. And I know you like Magoo, who Jim Backus did it. Yes. He's great. No, I love him. He's great in it. I just hate the special. Yeah.

Is, well, Michael Caine. Yeah, and with the Muppets. Oh, with the Muppets. Does that really count? Yeah, Mickey Mouse did it if we're gonna go in that route Mickey Mouse Mickey was Cratchit Patrick Stewart Oh, yes, Patrick's very good John. Very good Patrick Stewart. Yeah, I saw him do that live On purchase he does all the all of the characters. He's brilliant. And speaking of Jews, Henry Winkler. That's right. Henry Winkler did it.

What about Rich Little? Yeah, he did it with that. He didn't do the whole thing with like... I think he did. He did all the different characters. And I just saw one on Hulu that was on FX. It was a series. It's brand new. It was FX, and it was a series.

It's brand new, it was last year. It was a series, and who was the guy who played him? The guy from, I think it's the guy from Shit, Strictly Ballroom? No, what's his name? I forget, but it was a series, and they put it all together, and it's a two hour and 53 minute non-musical,

a Christmas Carol. And I got to tell you, I shut it off after 10 minutes. I'm like, they've added too much dialogue. This is too long. I have no patience. What about the Mathau character in the same Jesus Man in Town? It was Guy Pearce that did it.

Guy Pearce. Oh, the Mathau one. That's the animated one. Yeah, but is he playing Ebenezer? Yes, he is. Okay. He's not playing Bob Cratchit. That's the animated one. That's yeah, but is he playing Ebenezer or? Yes he is. Okay. He's not playing Bob Cratchit.

Right. They did like a mini Christmas Carol on one of the odd couple episodes. Written by our friend Ron Friedman. Wow. Yes. Yes indeed. Yes. Yes indeed.

Who was Scrooge in it? Was it Oscar or Felix? It was Oscar. Well, you could go either way with that. Felix comes back as the ghost of Christmas. Oh it's Marley. Covered in chains. The one I'm going to send you has Basil Rathbone as Marley. Wow. And Alec Innes as Marley in the Finney version is excellent. Alec Innes, that whole thing, Damian Evans and Kenneth Moore, it's such a good, it's just that score by Leslie Bricus. I mean, how are you?

Leslie Bricus, still with us. Leslie Bricus wrote movie musicals. You can't try them out. I mean, you can edit them, but you know, a musical takes, you know, five to 10 years to develop to go to Broadway. He kind of hit it right on the nose a few times with Scrooge, Willy Wonka.

Sure. I even liked Goodbye Mr. Chips. Some of the songs from Dr. Doolittle, like Talks to the Animals. Dr. Doolrooge, Willy Wonka. Sure. I even like Goodbye Mr. Chips. Some of the songs from Dr. Dolittle, like Talks to the Animals. Dr. Dolittle, oh it's great. Yeah, he also wrote some Bond themes, he wrote Goldfinger. Goldfinger, he's the man, the man with the maddest tongue. I knew that was coming.

Don't give too much. I opened for Shirley Bassey at Carnegie Hall. Did you? Yes I did. What was Sheila, was she still around? She was coming. Don't give too much. I opened for Shirley Bassey at Carnegie Hall and I did you? Yes, I did. What was Sheila? What is what she's still lovely. I did three Ron Delsner said, he loved me. He's like, wait, what do you want to do? You want to go down? There's a great promoter. He's still around now. We had him here. You know, Ron, he's like, he's nuts out of his fucking mind. When. When I first met, it was even pre, like the night before the podcast, I met Ron Delsner and it somehow came out

in the first three seconds that he produced Groucho's Carnegie Hall Show. Oh yeah, yeah. And he mentioned, he goes, you know that woman he used to be with that Aaron Fleming. She used to blow him She used to blow Groucho and And what oh fuck the composer Morphin and he goes in and Marvin Handlers had a shot at her. Oh my God.

The late Aaron Fleming. I just threw up in my mouth. The image of that is horrifying. Any Ron, him, Groucho getting blown. Do I have to see that in my mind? Leslie Brickus Mario still with us at 89. He also wrote You Only Live Twice, speaking of Bond themes. Oh yes. And he had a big hit with Candyman. The Candyman can, who can take a sunrise? Yeah, I love that song. Sammy Davis had a

big hit with that. Yes, yes, yes. I like Sammy's version much better than in the movie where they just talk it well yeah the other kid the man that does the Candyman and that is kind of speak singing yes kind of like Nellie yeah he speaks singing and I love Nellie but he also wrote what kind of fool am I for his friend Anthony Newly. Yes he did. Great career, we should see if we can track him down. What a strange voice. And he had that spastic hand movement.

Yes, it went along with the flatulence of his vocal cords also. He and Joe Cocker should have toured together, Gilbert. Oh my God. Spastic singers. Gilbert, oh by the way, that one I'm sending you, Mario, with Wrathbone, is scored by Bernard Herman. Oh my God. I can't wait to see this.

Psycho. Yes, yes, yes. Gilbert, is Alistair Sim your favorite of the Scrooges? I think it is. We've established that. Yeah, I think that would. We've established that. Yeah. I think that would be the best of them. The others were great too.

The Finneas movie is good. Just turned 50 by the way. Speaking of anniversaries. And you know what? TCM usually plays it every year. They're not even playing it this year. It's 50th anniversary. Why aren't they playing it?

Yes. What the hell is wrong with people? I don't see it anywhere. I shouldn't say this, but it's free on YouTube. I don't want to see it on YouTube. It's not a right thing to do. I don't want to see it on YouTube. I don't want to see it on YouTube. I don't want to see it on YouTube. I don't want to see it on YouTube. I don't want to playing it? Yes. What the hell is wrong with people? I don't see it anywhere and I shouldn't say this But it's free. It's free on YouTube. I don't want to see it on YouTube

It's not a real network. I want to see it on a good TV HD that's how I want to see I have it on blu-ray. I don't need any of these. It's good. It's good The songs are good. I'm sure the Flintstones must have done it. They did. I think they did. Yeah, but you know. Well, I mean, are we going to count Bill Murray? Yes, you have to. That's right.

He wasn't playing Ebenezer, technically. Yeah, but it was. It's a Scrooge story. And what about Susan Lucci in Ebby on Lifetime? Oh, that was, forget it. She's Ebby, and she's a very, you know, high maintenance girl. And you know, the ghosts come to see her. And there's one part where I don't know what happens,

and she just goes, oh, oh no, call an ambulance. Well, if you're going to bring that up, we're going to bring up Marlo Thomas's remake of It's a Wonderful Life. Oh, there's that too. That's right. And I think Vanessa Williams did one too. I think she did.

She was like a high powered TV executive or something like that. I think she did. So we'll recommend Finny Scrooge to our listeners. Yes, and Alistair Sim is the other one. And George C. Scott's, those are my favorites. And I saw Campbell Scott do the Broadway version of it last year, which was beautifully directed.

And my friend LaShans was in it, she sang in it. It's not really a musical, it's kind of, but it's brilliantly directed and it was Campbell Scott playing Scrooge and I'm telling you, it was one of the best things on Broadway last year. Talented guy, Campbell Scott. He really is. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. And no matter your team, your favorite skater, or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about Bet MGM.

Download the app today and discover why Bet MGM is your hockey home for the season. Raise your game to the next level this year with Bet MGM, a sportsbook worth a celly, and an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. The best betmgm.com for terms and conditions must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with

iGaming Ontario. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead. Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details. The all new FanDuel Sportsbook in Casino

is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or have out more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling Problem Call 1-866-531-2600.

Visit connexontario.ca I just remembered a few months ago pre-COVID and everything, I was talking to you on the phone and the name, Grace and Hall, was that her name? Grace from- We were talking about Grace and Hall and Jack Chattis because it wasn't pre-COVID, it was during COVID that you called. Oh, during COVID. It was a nice surprise to you. Yes, yes, it was during COVID. It was, you and your wife called, it was so sweet.

I was so surprised, because usually you're, you know, you're laying under the sand on a beach somewhere in fucking Boca, with your head out, scaring people. I think that was your Halloween twist this year. But anyway, yeah, we were talking about Grayson Hall. On Dark Shadows, there was Grayson Hall. Oh, yeah. She used to do a thing. Well, the way she would clasp her hands together

when she was being dramatic. Oh. And it was always, she'd always sound like she just got through running. You know, it was like, oh, I, that, it was always she'd always sound like she just got through running. You know, it was like, oh, I did. It was horrible. It was a were werewolf. Well, she would. And when she entered a room, it was like she was having an orgasm.

She was like, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't go up those stairs again. She was really, she was, and I just watched those movies. They showed both of them on TCM, House of Dark Shadows and the other one. One of them was with Jonathan Frieden and then one of them was with David Selby who plays Quentin. And it was Kate Jackson in her first acting role on film.

Yeah. Wow. And she was very good. We love to find any excuse to talk about Dark Shadows. And then what the fuck's his name, the producer of Dark Shadows? Dan Curtis. Yeah.

Dan Curtis. He also did like, I think Jekyll and Hyde with, well he did Dracula with Jack Palance. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course the Night Stalker. And then he did a Frankenstein, I think. Was he behind the Michael Sarazin Frankenstein? It could be. Could be. I have to Check that. I love Michael Michael Saracen. Yeah the late Michael Saracen. Speaking of Rankin-Bass. He died? How about I didn't even know that? Lost him a few years ago. Oh he was so wonderful. What was that movie he did the Resurrection of Peter Proud? Yes sure. Speaking of George C Scott he's in a terrific comedy with George C Scott called The Flim Flam Man. Oh yes. Made by

Irwin Kershner. But going back to Frankenstein. And for Pete's sake with Barbra Spine. Going back to Rankin-Bass, Paul Ekstrom wants to know, did Mario or Mario, as his husband calls, secretly purchase any of the puppets at the recent Rankin-Bass auction? No, no. Do you realize that we're all out of work? I'm not going to buy a puppet. I know I love this stuff. But you know, I'm not going to buy a puppet. I have beautiful ornaments on my tree that we just put up. It's gorgeous. And we have some nice, we got the Burgermeister and we have Rudolph and Hermy and the Abominable Smalling. Yeah, they made some great ornaments.

Beautiful. But the real puppets, you know, you're going to get those puppets and then what? Well, they're also 150,000 fifty thousand and two hundred and fifty thousand each I I thought they would have gone for more. I'm surprised they didn't go from there really Oh and and getting back to what we were discussing already Michael Sarazin was in that movie with his Then or future girlfriend Jacqueline visit which one is is that? And also Anthony Franciosa. Anthony French? Anthony! I'm Shelley Wedges love Anthony Franciosa's. I fucked him till he died.

What was the name of that one? Which what what what year are we talking about gil it was like the 60s oh my god i don't know yeah tony oh and also um um bob crane and not bob crane uh uh oh are you thinking of the sweet ride the sweet ride yeah it's a surfer movie and and i love what's his name i looked that up i did not have that at my fingertips. What the fuck's his name? Gilligan? Bob Denver. Bob Denver is in it too. I love the surfing movie. I love Big Wednesday. That's a good one.

And it's a long one and it's really interesting. A good Bucey is like beautiful in it, if you can believe it. And Jan Michael Vinson, who of course I had pictures of him on my wall right next to my bed for a little nighttime jack offoff with it so you know Poor guy he was beautiful. He was had a rough couple years. Oh god. What happens to people? He said in one later interview that if he had died

Back then he could have been remembered like James Steen. Well, let's not go that far. Perhaps he could have been remembered like one of the great gay porn stars, but James Steen? I don't think so. He wasn't that good. I loved you and Michael Vincent, but he wasn't a great actor. And you know what's so funny? He didn't even want to be an actor. They found him on the beach. Like they found Lana Turner at Schwab's.

Right. Where these people- Or Fabian sitting on his stoop. Well, you couldn't miss those ears, but there he was. He was a beautiful kid Fabian dude. Turn me loose. Was Fabian a mo? No. Oh my god. No. Fabian Forte. He's still with us Gil. He can sue us for that.

No, I don't think so. He's still with us. Well, we clarified that he's not, so he can't sue us. No, he's not. Turn me loose, turn me loose, I say. He was singing that about, you know, diving into a vagina, not, you know, sucking up. It's been a while for Gilbert. I want to call out the great Paul Coker, is 92, I believe or 91, the designer of those

Rankin' Best cartoons. And he's still around. Yes, and he illustrated my first Mad Magazine piece. He's a nice man. Wow. And he's still with us so we want to give him a shout out. And Jules is still with us too, Jules Best. And Jules, are you talking to Jules?

I haven't spoken to Jules in so long. People get older, I'm afraid. I don't know what the situation is. Jules is 95. But when I met him, he was in incredible shape and thin and he looked great. He worked out all the time. That's how I met him. I met him at the gym and gave him all that section from Laugh-Or from the line cut because

they had cut some of it, all the ranking stuff and he loved it. And he said to me you know you then when they were doing the live action you should play the the snowmizer I was like what can you put in a good word for me is I don't do that shit anymore yeah too bad I'm sorry I didn't I didn't get Maury Laws on the show or I mean Romeo Muller we lost a long time yeah but but also Keenan Wynn's good in that oh yes as the as the As the winter warlock. Yes he is.

And Gilbert Paul Freese. Oh! Who we love to talk about. Now who does the, who does the, well he does the Burgermeister right? Right, I think he does the, I think he does both characters. I think he does the sidekick as well. He does the sidekick too. Yeah.

He's got range! Oh, a lot of range. He was great. He was brilliant. He was brilliant. He did the voice of the Cyclops in the movie The Cyclops. Very good, Gill. Yeah, where he's like, he did that. If you go to the Haunted Mansion in Disney World, you can still hear Paul Freeze.

He's still doing that, that spooky voice that welcomes you to the Haunted Mansion. Oh, wow. At least as of this recording who knows Do you know who does the voice of the woman in the crystal ball? Look the fuck is that Gilbert Gilbert's professionalism. He's got his phone on Geez oh my god, we'll fix it in a draw baby and calling Gil We'll fix it in a draw. It's Fabian calling Gil. Yeah, turn me loose, it is. He's a ghost.

You got it? What did you just do? You just put it up your ass, I saw that. He did. I just saw you like sit on it. See, now I can enjoy the rest of the year. Yes, you can. Wait, what would you say before we were rudely interrupted

by a phone that was not on the internet? I think we were talking about Rankin-Bass or bass or jewels. I know all right or or something like that Here's some other anniversaries to make us feel old Jose Feliciano's Feliz Navidad John and Gilbert is 50 years old. I love that song. Oh Merry Christmas darling by the Carpenters I love that song. Oh, Merry Christmas, darling, by the Carpenters, 50. Beautiful song. Years old, and Gene Autry's recording of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is 70.

Well that was a big one. Little did I know he stuffed trigger and hated homosexuals, but still. I played the song. We're getting old. Oh, we sure are. It's awful. We're getting old. You guys, what,. It's awful. We're getting old. You guys, what you guys want to take a whack at a quiz?

Yes. Johnny, are we ready for this? Yes, we are. We do this every year on the Christmas show. We pick obscure, very obscure little known singers of Christmas songs. And we try to get Mario, Mariuch and Gilbert to recognize them or to guess them. I've given up all hope on Gilbert by the way, because he couldn't recognize Richard Kine's voice. Oh God.

Yes, that's true. Not good. You know. So many people sound like Richard Kine. It could have been Bierko doing Richard Fine. It's so true. Old age ain't no place for sissies, as Bette Davis would say, and you are a sissy. And that's why it's no place for you. So Johnny, if we have these queued up, Maestro John Murray, audio producer extraordinaire,

let's see if you guys or our listeners playing at home can guess these Christmas singers in a segment we like to call, You'll Be Sorry. I can name that tune in three notes. Okay, here you go. Okay, here's the first one. Snow means the north wind blowing cold. Another log on the fire to keep out the chill.

It's Walter Brennan. Wow. He's good. That's Walter Brennan. Yeah, he got it. Very good. I named that song in three notes. I said it. Gil, your favorite racist, Walter Brennan. Yes, Walter Brennan. A major bigot. I heard he was a son of a bitch too. Yeah, hated blacks and Jews.

Wow, and he's, well, I guess he was from Massachusetts, you know. That's why he's doing White Christmas. He was a Yankee from Massachusetts. The B-side of this, and I don't know why Walter Brennan was recording a Christmas record, the B-side was Henry had a Merry Christmas. How about that? By Walter Brennan. By Walter Brennan. Yeah, there you go, God.

Oh, God, that story by a Schnickleman who wrote the comedians. Oh, Cliff Nesterhoff. This is a Christmas show, by the way, Gilbert. Yes. He told us. Just a reminder. He told us that they went in, I guess it were on whatever show or movie. Well, I guess he was working on the real McCoys.

Yeah. And they went in, they said, Martin Luther King was just shot and Walter Brennan went into a little dance, a little happy dance. Oh, my God. So he Thanks for the uplifting fucking Christmas. That's a beautiful- I always, I always do, people make fun of me because- Yeah, like Gino. Yes, yes, cause it'll always be,

there'll be like a big laugh and I'll go, you know, his wife and children were killed in the fire. Oh my God. You're a delight. He is. You know, his wife and children were killed in the fire. Oh, my God. You're a delight. He is. As long as there's chestnuts roasting on that fire, Gilbert, you can bring it up. I've got three Oscar winners on this song list, by the way.

It's, okay. That was one of them. Walter Brennan had three Oscars himself. The next one is one of Gilbert's absolute favorite performers. Wait, Walter Brennan had three Oscars? He won Oscars for I believe The Westerner, maybe Come Blow Your Heart. That is the perfect example of rewarding bad behavior. Go ahead.

Maybe I have the wrong movie, but he has three. Wow. The next one is a song called Christmas is for Children. The year is 1967 Christmas is for children, aren't you feeling young? Christmas is for children Faces all aglow Waiting for Saint Nick to come down the chimney

This is an Oscar winner no, this is not an Oscar This is a guy who was famous for playing the ukulele. Oh Well, it's not tiny Tim and Gilbert a famous anti-semite. Oh oh that that that helped. I'm gonna call it it's Arthur Godfrey. Arthur Godfrey major league anti-semite. Now he was was he he was Mer Griffin's side. Is that true? No, no creature was my third treacher. Yeah On the b-side is a rare recording of him firing Julius La Rosa on the b-side he fired Julius La Rosa on the air author Godfrey. Yes famous a fired Julius La Rosa on the air Arthur Godfrey. Yes, he was a scumbag.

Yeah, this is from the LP, All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth from 1967. Gilbert, I decided to start with two antisemites because it is the holiday season. Of course. And I wanted to lure you, I wanted to draw you into the game as early as possible and keep your attention.

The next one is a little harder, believe it or not. But this is also a person not an anti-semite or a racist as far as I know and yes this is a Christmas episode folks. He was a closet at homosexual. Right. This next singer was embroiled in scandal. Wow. That's a yareb, go ahead. No, the song is simply called Snow. John? Oh, this is Kevin Spacey. Well, no, obviously, was it a cocaine scandal? It's a she. Oh, scandal, huh? ["Snow"]

Snow Fills the fields we used to know She needs to speak up. Claudette Colbert. No, no, Claudette. You're warm. Oh, is it Lange? That's it! Lange? Claudine Lange. Claudine Lange? That's it! Lange?

Claudine Lange! Claudine Lange! That's it. Nice! That's what I was thinking. Wow. Wow, that was impressive. You both got it at the same time.

And I think I've seen her sing on a special and I was like, why is she singing? It's like Marlena Dietrich singing. It's not worth it. I remember when Saturday Night Live did that great cheese. Sure, yes. Yeah. The Claudine Let ski invitation. I remember it.

Yeah, it was like skiers going and you'd hear a shot and they just flipped out. Oh, Claudine Longet accidentally shot. I was like Claudine Colbert. Yeah, she shot a bunch of skiers. Extra points for the name of her skier boyfriend that she shot. It was Spider, wasn't it? Yes Spider Savage. Spider Savage, yeah. You guys are disturbingly good. That was from 1968 I was gonna give you the hint and say she was married to a guy who sang a lot of Christmas tunes

But you got it. You both got it. She's married to Andy Williams, right? She was. Yeah Okay, we're gonna go all the way back to 1954 For this one. This is March of the Toys, and this is an Oscar winner. Okay. For best actor. Here we go. Not known as a singer.

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! They're winding up the soldiers and they're beating on the drums. A-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a andboom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom-a-boom and Santa Claus is smiling as the elephants salute in the march of the Christmas toys. He sounds a little light. We give up? Yeah. He was married to an iconic beloved singer. He was married to Rosemary Cooney. Oh, so that was Jose Ferrer. That was Jose Ferrer. That makes sense. I should have known that because he sang in Little Drummer Boy.

Look at that. He sang the Goose is Riding High, that song in Little Drummer Boy, the Taranquin Bass Special, which is my favorite one. There you go. He sang that. I should have known. How about that Gil? Also almost cast as the Joker in the 1960s Batman series. Jose Ferrer. But he was beaten out by Cesar Amaro. Yeah. You bet. The B side of that single, by the way, is Rosemary Clooney. And you know what Cesar Amaro was into?

What? Oh no. Okay. Oh no. What was he into? It's Christmas. I have to. There is a Santa Claus.

They had a little Christmas flavor to it. What was Caesar Amaro? Caesar Amaro. Yeah. Used to like to gather himself with boy toys. Sweet. And then he'd stand there, pull down his pants and underwear. Yep.

And they would fling orange wedges at his ass. Well don't you do that with your stuffed animals, Gilbert? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And he stood ankle deep in eggnog. Isn't that right, Phil? Well, Christmas. So they flung orange slices at his ass? Yes.

Wedges, wedges, not slices. Wedges. Yes, at his ass. Get it right. And I don't know when he woke up one day and thought, ah, this is what I want. Yeah, this is a zesty sexual experience. The only argument I've ever gotten on it

was some people saying, no, it was tangerine. It was some kind of citrus. Yeah, maybe it was mandarin oranges. Who knows? That was flung at his ass. That sounds fun. I think I'm going to try that. And COVID is over.

But I could do it if they all wear masks. I'll see. Gathering with the boys. Here's one more, boys. You got that in. I can't believe we've never told that story to Mario on this show. Oh my god.

In all the time he's been here. This is another Oscar winner for best actor. Guess this Christmas singer. Away we go. What year? 1951. Plus the night before Christmas went all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon to be there. The children were nestled all snuggled in beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. Then Mama and the kerchief and I and my cat had just settled down for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a cloud, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

But what to my wondering eyes should appear? Bought a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. Where the little old driver so lively and quick. Gilbert, this is a TV icon. Oh. Dick Van Dyke. No, you're warm. I gave you the wrong year.

It's 1954. He won an Oscar in 1975 for starring in a movie called Harry and Tonto. Oh my god, it's um, it's Art Carney. Art Carney! Oh my, Art Carney's a swinging rapper. How about that? He's really in the pocket on that too. How about that?

And the B-side was Santa and the Doodly Bop. Also by Art Carney? I just watched Harry Tonto. How about that, Gil? It doesn't sound like him. No, it doesn't, and I just watched that movie. He's so brilliant in it. I like him.

It's him. Okay. It's, you know, you're so used to hearing Art Carney in the Norton character. Yes, absolutely. Right, right, right. I was gonna give you a hint, Gilbert, and say he played a Santa on a famous Twilight Zone absolutely. Right, right, right. I was gonna give you a hint, Gilbert, and say he played a Santa

on a famous Twilight Zone episode. Oh, that's right! He was that drunken Santa. Now, Mr. Cantone, we're gonna use this as a segue. What, what are we doing? We're going into one of your lovely tunes. Okay, oh yes, well guess what? It's the 50th anniversary of this tune, as you said.

It is, yes. You wanna tell us a little bit about this? Well, you know, oh yes, well guess what? It's the 50th anniversary of this tune as you said. It is. Yes, you want to tell us a little bit about this? Well, you know, last year, oh not last year, I actually, our COVID episode, which this is too. Oh yes, which we did back in May. In May, I sang a Cass Elliott mashup of Make Your Own Kind of Music into the song Different, written by... Our pal Charlie Fox. Charlie Fox and Norman Gimble, right? Norman Gimble, yeah.

They wrote it for the movie Puffin Stuff and she played witch hazel and she sang Different. So I mashed them up and we did it last year. So if you haven't heard that, it's a good episode. That episode's a good episode too. But anyway, yeah, I wanted to do another Mama Cass song, another Cass Elliott song, and I thought, with all the shit that's going on, finally the election's over, there's a little bit of hope, and hopefully it's gonna be better.

So yeah, so I said I'm gonna do this song, which is called New World Comin' by Barry Man and Cynthia Wilde. Cynthia Wilde. There's a new world comin' and it's just around the bend There's a new world coming this one's coming to an end There's a new You can hear Stronger with each day that passes by

There's a brand new morning rising sweet and clear and free. There's a new day dawning that belongs to you and me. There's a new upcoming,, the one with visions of coming in peace, coming in joy, coming in love, coming in love, coming in love. Wonderful! Wonderful. Were you awake during that Gilbert? Wonderful. Were you awake during that brilliant rendition? Or did you glaze over thinking about your taxes? You know that song.

Mama Cass had a hit with that in 1970, 50 years ago. 50 years ago. So Mama Cass actually died of a heart attack. Yes, we know. And it was horrible what they said about her, that she choked on a sandwich. That's terrible. How did that originate?

She died in Harry Nielsen's guest house. And I think they said that there was, uh, from room service, there was a ham sandwich in the room. Yeah. So they put the two together and said, oh, oh, she choked on a ham sandwich. And you know what's awful?

They said it right away. They didn't even wait a few years. Talk about too soon. Urban Hollywood myth. You know, she was really a wonderful talent. She was one of the great centers. And a sense of humor too about herself. Yeah, she was very funny.

And take herself seriously. Yeah, she was great. Her voice was gorgeous and it was just, you know, such ease to it and she just kind of flew up those scales. She was gorgeous huge loss i mean she would have had a much longer much bigger career we had john sebastian here a couple of weeks ago who was close to her and in the mug wumps with her and uh i think he i think he misses her greatly still how old was she probably not even was she in her 30s i don't know i don't

think so they all died at 27 yeah she may, she may have been that was the magic number Yeah, that was a shoplin. Yes Yeah, a huge a new White House Amy Winehouse was 27 27 Wow, that is the magic number is for rock stars to die of Overdose I did 27. I don't know what happened to you. Unfortunately, you're still here, but still. She was 32. She was 32? Yeah, I just looked it up.

She was young. She was 32, an enormous, enormous talent. Gilbert, we should get Michelle Phillips here on the show and talk about Cass. We'll do that, we'll do a music episode if we can book her. That's a beautiful number and an interesting choice for you. I mean, obviously not a Christmas song, but it's, but it's timely.

I mean, we are all looking forward to the future. We have some reason to breathe and be hopeful. And that was, And I picked that not knowing it was 50 years. So I love that we do our little anniversary things. Absolutely, absolutely. I have some questions for you. Christmas related questions.

Alright. From listeners. Keeping things moving, we like to work listeners into the show. We have listeners? Oh sure. It's shocking. At least 30. Uh, Perry Shields, what are Mario's and Gilbert's opinion of March of the Wooden Soldiers with

Laurel and Hardy. Okay, I just watched it last night. Wow. I never liked Laurel and Hardy, I don't get it. Um, but I did watch it and it's bizarre. It is bizarre. It's a bizarre movie. The villain is spooky.

Yes. I find with Laurel and Hardy, I can watch clips of them in different bits. That's funny and fun to watch. But full length Laurel and Hardy movies are always eerie to me. Eerie? Why eerie? I don't know. The timing of it or the look of it. There's something I always found there.

Full length movies would get, it would make great horror films Interesting. I will say I will say way out west and then Sons of the Desert are both terrific. Yeah, very funny I never I never saw I yeah I never you know that to me like Albin and Costello's the one that I love that they're the two for me But this yeah, and and also I found you know The three little pigs are in the March of the Wooden Soldiers. And when they come out of the house, they're playing Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, which was a Disney written for a Disney short. And I

was just shocked that they did that. Interesting. Well, now if you're not a Laurel and Hardy fan, why did you dial up March of the Wooden Soldiers? Because I had, you know, I have Turner Classic movies on 24-7. Right. Like the rest of the Wooden Soldier? Because I had, you know, I have Turner Classic movies on 24-7. Right. Okay, good. Like the rest of the elderly. Right. Like I do.

Yeah. And I just was on. And I'm so pissed that that's the star of the month this year. It's Laurel and Hardy. Interesting. I'm like, that's a waste. Really? We have to put up with them for a month? So neither of you is a big fan of March of the Wooden Soldier? Or them.

No. No. How about Babes in Toyland with Tommy Kirk and Ray Bolger? The one with the Disney. You mean Tommy Sands and Ray Bolger? Yeah. And Annette Funicello. It's colorful, it's not great either. Yeah, not great.

I remember years ago they would show on TV like a show that would have clips of Laurel and Hardy. And it would be filled in by that, what's that song, that there theme song, you know. Oh yeah, what is the name of that thing? That and that and that and that and that and that and that. Yeah, I forget the name of it. And our fans are gonna be screaming into their devices.

Here's another question. Yeah, but I remember on that show they would play clips of Laurel and Hardy and they'd play that thing in between to fill up time. But the clips I always enjoyed, but the movies are generally... So you're saying they can't really hold a movie together for you? Yeah. I think it's called Dance of the Cuckoos. Yeah. Well, they can't Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. They like each other who cares move on Andrew LaPosha I want to hear Mario's take on the song the Christmas shoes. Okay, I want makes me want to throw up It's horrible and I watched it a little while ago

And I watched it and it's just this kid trying to buy shoes for his mother? His mother is dying and he wants to buy her special Christmas shoes so she will be pretty for Jesus. First of all, it's depressing and you never really know if the mother dies or not, which eventually you know she's gonna. So you know, but he's getting her shoes so she can be buried in the shoes I believe so right yeah yeah it's very sad it's very sad that's like something I would bring up exactly blind man of the bleachers this song makes blind man of the bleachers Gilbert sound like sound like wake me up before you go go

oh so depressing it's the most depressing song. It's Blind Man of the Bleachers. Do you know that one, Mario? No I do not. Don't have a gun nearby. We're gonna send you Blind Man of the Bleachers. Well okay, please do. As a gift. Can't wait.

You know, it's like the little match girl too. It's depressing. Very sad. Oh and Mario, I just thought of this because she sang a Christmas song. Can you do a Mariah Carey? No. No? No, I cannot.

That seems like it would be so much up your alley. How about McDonald Carey? I could do Michael McDonald. Michael McDonald Carey. Yeah. No. These are the days of your life. That's good.

That's good. That's good. Yeah, I can't do more I Carey, but I just watched your Christmas special and I also watched Carrie Underwood's Christmas special. And I have to tell you, Carrie Underwood's Christmas special is so magnificent. It's just her pretty much for 53 minutes. I mean, I always thought she was a very good singer,

but she is singing like, for me, like I've never heard her before in my life. It's thrilling. Her old holy night was tear inducing. Then she sings a song with John Legend called Hallelujah, not the Cohen one, but he wrote a song called Hallelujah with Toby Gadd, who he wrote all of me with. And I texted him too and said, John, that song is gorgeous. And the two of them were incredible together.

And he said that she is a flawless singer and she was perfect every take. I'm telling you, it's one of the best Christmas specials I've ever seen of a singer. And I watched Dolly Parton's, which made me cry. Oh, that was good. And she just sits there and talks to the audience. And nothing's really scripted. She probably has bullet points and ideas about what she wants to say about each song. And it's like she's talking to you.

It's very moving and she gets very choked up about her mother at one point and she still sings her ass off and she's 75 years old. It's incredible. She was amazing. That's a great Christmas special too. Yeah, that was good.

We watched it. And Kelly Clarkson's Wrapped in Red, one of my favorite Christmas albums ever. Love that song. And that special is amazing. I sang that song, I sang Wrapped in Red in Florida in one of my concerts and I sang it with my Christmas show with Jerry a few years back. I love her. Let's give Jerry Dixon, by the way, a shout out, your husband who was playing and accompanying you on that wonderful track. Yes, and he'll play a little bit more

later for another tune. Coming up later. Yeah, and he did it. He does everything. He decorates the house. A transcendent talent. Jerry Dickson decorates the house. He plays the piano. He writes songs. He runs a theater. And he does a lot for me.

And he puts up with your craziness. Yes, he does. And he does way too much for me. So thumbs down to the Christmas shoes. Yeah, done. But we will send you Blind Man and the Bleachers. Ray Garten, do Mario or Gilbert have a strong opinion about Christmas horror movies?

There are enough of them to discuss, but my favorite is Bob Clark's 74 movie, Black Christmas. You know, I was looking at those the other day. Unhulu has a whole section of Christmas horror movies. I don't think I've ever seen Black Christmas. No, I don't think I've ever seen the- It's a sort of an early slasher movie? There was one of those, I think it was one of those that has a bunch of stories. I think it's with Joan Collins.

I think it's Tales from the Crypt, the movie, the first movie. Yes, and Joan Collins is in it and there's a murder of Santa Claus trying to get in the house. I barely remember that. Yeah, when they used to do horror anthologies and release them to get in the house. I barely remember that. When they used to do horror anthologies and release them to theaters in the 70s, something that's long gone. Tales from the Crypt, yeah. Like Doctor Terror's House of Horror.

Well, there was also the Torture Garden. There were a bunch of them. There were two Stephen King ones. House of Drip Blood. Well, the Stephen King ones were in the 80s, I believe. There was Creep Show. Yeah. And Cat's Eye.

Yes. Yeah, there's probably another one I'm forgetting. Were those Christmas? Did those take place on Christmas? No, not Christmas related. Gilbert, he says he's also fond of a newer Christmas horror movie called Krampus. Krampus?

I saw that on Hulu 2. I haven't seen the movie though. It's good. I'll watch it. John, do you have an opinion on Christmas horror movies? I'm turning into Joe Franklin. No, I mean Christmas, I don't watch horror movies on Christmas. See John, I agree with you.

Unless you consider Christmas Carol as a horror movie. It is in a way. Yeah. It is in a way. It definitely is. And so is It's a Wonderful Life in a way. Yeah. It is in a way. It definitely is. And so is it's a wonderful life in a way. Yes. I want to watch Christmas things.

I don't want to watch Christmas horror movies. I love horror movies, but I don't want to watch horror on Christmas. Here's something that I think, you know, that Christmas Carol got right, that so many other movies fuck up. In there, when he's brought back in time got right that so many other movies fuck up in there. When he's brought back in time or forward in time,

he's a ghost and he's observing everything around him. I hate these movies where it goes, I'll show you what you'd be like if you had, uh, you know, won that basketball. And then all of a sudden he'll be in an office and I'll go, ah, well, Mr. president, and he'll go, I'm the president. And you go, well, if this was your life, you would know that you've really deconstructed this Gilbert.

Yeah, that's yeah. It's like when, or like, or a beautiful woman walks in and goes, you're my wife? And it's like, no, that's a... So you're saying because the ghosts show them, it makes more sense in a Christmas car. And he's a ghost. Or an angel in the case of Capra. Yeah.

He's a ghost and he's observing it. He's not part of it. He's not there. But he's not a ghost, he's just not visible while the ghosts are taking him, the spirit's name. You must be clear. You said that Ebernese Scrooge was a ghost. I'm like, what the fuck is he talking about?

There was that fucking movie with, oh, what's his name? Nicholas Cage. Oh, Family Man. Yeah. Yeah. And there, and there it's like, what am I doing in this house? And you go, well, you're in this house because you live here and you know that if this was your life. Well, that's great.

Gilbert when are you leaving Florida? Because Frank Gepetti, uh, seasons greetings to Mario Dara Gilbert and Frank. Uh, man, thank you for once again, making Christmas's greetings to Mario, Dara, Gilbert and Frank. Thank you for once again making Christmas a little warmer and more tolerable. Mario, I bought my daughter that Disney illustrated book from the 70s that you raved about. She is only 16 months old, so it will be a great centerpiece for some good father daughter time. Does that mean anything to you?

The Disney illustrated book? I wonder which one he's talking about. There's many. Merry Christmas, he says. He needs to be specific. I'll hook you guys up. Does he live in Florida too? I mean, what the fuck?

Yeah. We need specificity. Is Iago in it? That's all I need to know. That's all you know. So you get a residual. Maybe. Robert Bollack says,

I wonder if Gilbert could do on this Christmas show a little David Brenner or Alan Thicke, two impressions we don't get to hear much of on the podcast. Okay, David Brenner. It was the night before Christmas. It's the night, how many times, how many times are you there? The night before. It's not Christmas.

Not Christmas. This is the night before Christmas. It's like 24 hours before Christmas. And some Alan Thicke. And Alan Thicke. Oh, his theme song that he wrote and sung. Remember doing leave the lane on I'm on the road tonight

Everyone needs a dream to hold on I'm gonna make it on my own Running in the thick of the night Under the city late Runnin' in You know, we should, uh, uh, Mario, you should get, uh, you should look up Alan Thicke singing, um... Oh, God, that rock and roll song?

Yes. What was that thing? What the fuck? Where they're all in spandex? Yeah, hot pants are totally hot. Oh, oh, oh. Something hot? What the fuck? Where they're all in spandex. Hot pants are totally hot. Oh, something hot. Oh, fuck. This is Alan Thicke from Growing Pains? Yes, and from, more importantly, Thicke of the Night.

Oh, that's right, he had a talk show. What the fuck was the name of that? Somebody... I don't know. Because it was right around. Sweaty and hot. Yeah. Really in. That's what you make me really in. And he's there surrounded by, you know, women. No, no. Gay guys, gay boy dancers.

We'll send you the video, Mark. In spandex. By the way, speaking of horrifying videos, did you watch the Bob Hope Jack Frost? I did. That Bob Hope thing. And you know, it seems like his wife is the ringleader on that. Oh yeah. She's behind it. She's saying, he's so nice.

I mean, really, she's like, you're going to do this because we need the fucking money. And I think it's her revenge on all the times she fucked around on her. Oh yeah, she's like, and he's like, and he's, he, and what about when the, and that little kid that wipes out, one of the dances wipes out, no one even gives a shit. Like really? We were the child labor laws back then. And, and, and then, and then two of the kids left to get them up and like get them over to his next spot at the end of it. It's horrifying. He's a corpse. He's a corpse. And then they dress him up to be even more of a corpse. Yeah, with a pointed hat. Covered with beards. With icicles.

Awful. And when he's sitting on the snow mound in that white outfit, it all bunches up. It looks like he just got yanked out of a cryogenic chamber. It's awful. And now his voice was like this high pitch. Like, he became like that, Bob Hope. It was terrible. Yeah, it is high pitched.

It's very strange. It's scary. If you go to the YouTube page for it and you read the comments, they all say Gilbert and Frank sent me here. I heard, I saw that. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. Two freshly cracked eggs, any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario.

Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Sephora's biggest fragrance sale of the year is on. Get 20% off full-size fragrance gifts, including designer scents like Valentino Donna, Born in Roma. How did you know? 20% off floral scents like Burberry Her. Thank you.

And 20% off trending scents like Kayali Yum Bougie Marshmallow and Glossier You. This is perfect. 20% off full-size fragrances now through December 24th. Shop now at Sephora and Sephora at Kohl's. Speaking of impressions since Gilbert favored us with a little Alan Thicke and David Brenner. Do you gentlemen want to attempt a little movie dialogue, a little Christmas movie

dialogue? Okay. Why don't we think? I think, I think, I got to put Shelly Winters to bed because I'm no longer the star of the month. I was the star of the month with TCM. Last month and now they got Laurel and Harry, those two fucking fat bastards. I don't know what they replaced me with. Did you see me in Bloody Mama with Mama DeRose?

He was adorable. I knew he was great back then. And the three boys that played my sons fucked every one of them. Thank you, Shelley. Thank you, Shelley. And didn't you see me at Claire Patrick Jones where I played mama, mommy, when I had all these,

I was a lesbian in that one. I just, I was mean to all the boys and I stroked all the ladies cheeks on their face because I was a lesbian. I was ahead of my time. Okay. Good to see you Shelly. Last we saw you were climbing a Christmas tree. I wasn't. I was Mrs. Prosty and walked into the snowman the the sequel, and I had a singing. I don't know a fucking thing about Claudine Lange and Rosé Farad. They all sang. I never sang.

And why don't you get Claudine Lange to play Mrs. Claus and Mrs. Floskey. OK, all right, we're going to do. Now, Shelley Shelly Winters would always talk about how she and Marilyn Monroe were the two hot blondes. I look like Marilyn Monroe. I look like Marilyn. I love that she say that. My ribs hurt. When was she ever hot looking? Shut up, you fucking piece of shit. I was hot. I fucked everybody.

I fucked I fucked Lauren Bacall too. No, that's not true. I love Lauren Bacall, my favorite. That is a woman who loves holidays. I would sit at her knees. Every we could do a whole episode with you and learn the ball stories and Lauren McCall another Jew No, she was a name was Pinsky. Yep. Yeah, you go. My friends called me Betty McCall and I love Food, that's what I like to promote

Fancy feast you're gonna love it and so are you pussy? All right I go to every Christmas party I possibly can because bogey used to come with me and he wasn't an alcohol. He just loved to drink Ha ha I love applause Star You know, I said to her didn't he die Harry Guadino? She was like, he died? What are you talking about? He's dead.

Hilarious. We're gonna do a scene from Miracle on 34th Street. Oh, okay. We're gonna do two scenes from Miracle on 34th Street. Kind of a wedge together, a mashup as the kids like to call it. And this is, Gilbert, do you have your page? Oh, yes.

This is Jerry Seinfeld as Chris Kringle and as the young Natalie Woods character, Susie, we have Miss Catherine Hepburn. All right. So here we go, let's try this. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Let's try this. Well, young lady, what's your name? Susan Walker.

What's yours? Mine? Chris Gringo. I'm Santa Claus. Oh, you don't believe me? Uh-uh. Do you? No, I, no, uh-uh.

You see, my mother, my mother's No, I, no, uh-uh. You see, my mother, my mother's Mrs. Walker, the lady who hired you. Oh? But I must say, you're the best looking one I've ever seen. Really? Your beard doesn't have one of those things that go over your ears. Well, that's because it's real. Just like I'm really Santa Claus.

Oh go ahead, pull it. Ouch! Now what would you like me to bring you for Christmas? Nothing, thank you. Oh come on, you must want something whatever I want my mother will get for me if it's sensible It doesn't cost you much of course later that day Hello there good to see you again It's nice to see you. I'll bet you're in the first grade

Second-grade it's a progressive school. Oh, it's a progressive school. This dress is very cute. Where did you get such a lovely outfit? Here at Macy's. We get 10% off. Now about your school, what's the name of the teacher? Mrs. Haley.

Mrs. Haley, what else do you do besides read and play games? We have rest periods for one half hour. I don't suppose you care for that, huh? No. We're not allowed to talk or anything. Tuesday, Shester Richards kept talking all the time. My, that was bad, huh? Mrs. Ailey made him rest all alone for nearly an hour.

All right, goodbye. Goodbye, young lady. Hope to see you again. Thank you. I hope so too. Bye. Goodbye. That was disturbing.

Yeah, that was. But it's such a perfect role for Hepburn because she's such a, you know, know-it-all. And she would go to a progressive school. Nice job, Jerry. All right, one last quiz and then we're gonna sing our way out of this mother. Now, Catherine Hepburn, she got away with being a dyke without people finding out. No one ever knew except I wore pants when everyone else was wearing dresses. I looked like a lesbian, but before lesbians even knew what the look was. Don't you know that Gilbert Gottfried? She was like a case of like how Paul Lin, you know, he wasn't gay.

He was eccentric. Yeah, but he was, yeah, but he was- Like Edward Everett Horton was eccentric. Yes, yes. And- And Porter Hall. Katherine Hepburn was tough and independent. Oh yeah, she didn't fuck around. She really didn't.

Yeah, Gilbert met her. Well, I know you did. I used to do work the concessions in a Broadhurst Theater. And that's where you told me that. That's where I did the Tempest. I did the Tempest with Patrick Stewart at the Broadhurst Theater.

I worked in a pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand.

A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand.

A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. A pit of sand. specials fake or real? Oh god, it's another thing. Are they real Christmas specials or did your your co-host just pull them out of his ass? Hey what have you pulled out of your ass Mario?

That's me? I told you the um eight candles from the manure that you stuck up my ass last night. I know that you stuck up my ass last night. Got it. This is called Noelle or No Way. Oh, but then it was your turn and you went up yours. Exactly. Alright. Try to control yourself, Gil. Alright.

Alright, Dean Martin's Christmas at SeaWorld. Noelle or No Way? Noelle. I think, I think, I think. Gilbert, you think it's real? Noelle. You guys are good. It's a real special. Yeah. With Lynn Anderson, Buck Owens and Charlie Callis from nineteen ninety, nineteen eighty one. An orca. Bob Hope's Christmas cheer from Saudi Arabia. Real or fake? Noel or No Way? I'm gonna say No Way also, although I, it's real.

It's real, 1991 with Angillion, Dolores, Marie Osmond and the Poirot sisters. I gotta get a copy of that one. How did they get Marie Osmond to Saudi Arabia? They love Mormons in Saudi Arabia They didn't have Myron Cohen that special I think he threatened to leave the Pointer Sisters in the in Saudi Arabia Yeah Here's another one to get to get these hot girls hot actresses to fuck him When they bring them on the Vietnam tours

to fuck him. When they bring him on the Vietnam tours, he used to threaten that he they take off and leave them in Vietnam. Oh my if they didn't fuck him. Said somebody who was on the show. I just pictured the Pointer Sisters singing to some sheik. Bet you got a chick on the side. Bet you got a chick on the side. Sure you know a chick. I know you got a chick on the side. You got a chick on the side. Sure, you know a chick. I know you got a chick on the side. Here's another one. Deck the Halls Christmas with Monty Hall and family. Now I'm gonna say yeah. No, no, I pulled that one out of my head. It's totally crazy. No, see after the ball was the idea Saudi Arabia, thought, well, Monty Hall sounds like... All bets are off. And what did you say, with family? Yeah. That means his daughter, Joanna Gleason,

who I know very well and I think is a brilliant Broadway star, she would have been on it. I didn't know I had an insider here. I worked with Monty Hall. I did an eBay thing with him. I did an eBay, like, let's make a dear corporate gig with him Yeah, he was very nice live to a ripe old age Monty. Yeah. Yeah, we should have we should have gotten him on here Frosty's global warming adventure. No, no way. It's fake I'm I think I'll go along and say it's fake, but it could be you. Oh, very good. I thought that one was obvious. Oh Kid oak Oh, okay. Very good. I thought that one was obvious.

Okie doke. Coming around the bend. Linda Lavin's old-fashioned Hanukkah. I'm gonna take a guess. No, I'm gonna say no because it's too dewy to put on TV. Mario. I'm gonna say no. John, what do you think? I'm gonna say no. Oh do you think I'm gonna say no that's fake I made it up

I know her too, but I and I love her but I don't think she To more ho ho Hogan Hulk Hogan presents a WrestleMania Christmas. Yeah, I'll go with a yes on that one John yeah sounds real to me. I must be good at this. I made it up. Oh Last but not least Father Christmas and his magic sack See that sound so fucking insane was in it See, that sounds so fucking insane. Who was in it? Who was in it?

You're not giving us any detail. No, that would be too much information. That sounds so fucking insane. No, it's not real. That I'm gonna say yes. No, no. Mario says no way, John? No. No way.

No, it is made up, but I will tell you the truth. It was based on a Smurfs episode called The Magic Sack of Mr. Nicholas. Ooh! Oh, okay. So there you go. Well. So it wasn't that far off from reality.

All right, so we lost one. You guys did very well. Thanks. Yes, yes. Well, Gilbert, you did better than Gilbert did. I did, I always do. You lost two. You thought Bob Hope's Christmas cheer

from Saudi Arabia was fake. Yeah, see, this is the thing. I lost two, or he lost two. Collectively. Oh, yeah. So we tied. Yeah, you tied. Well, that means I'm going to have to follow him home with my tap shoes and kill him on a wharf and grab that Kenman shit medal. It was mine! The medal was mine. I've got the prettiest mother.

I've got the nicest mother. Mother, what would you give me for a basket full of kisses? I'd give you a basket full of hugs. That's the bad scene with Patti McCormick. And Patti McCormick, I met at the TCM Festival when I introduced a couple of movies there, and she came over to me, she was like, I wanna meet you, and I was like, you got, I, I introduced a couple of movies there, and she came over to me and she was like, I want to meet you, and I was like, you've got, I flipped out.

We talked about that. How about that? She's still around. She's still around. Yeah, she's Italian. Her name was Patti Russo. Love it. She's Italian.

We should get Patti McCormick. You know who's still around and very vocal on Facebook is Mamie Vandoren. Oh, I know she is. She's my friend. Oh, she is? She's my friend on Facebook. She's been trashing Bob Hope Has she been trashing Bob Hope and trashing Bob Hope on Facebook she's she's out there she's unhinged

All right. It's what the fans have been waiting for and what they've waited all year for what have they waited for? They have waited for a duet between Mr. Cantone and Mr. Gottfried. Do you have the song lyrics? Yes. Gilbert, Mr. Cantone, Mariuch. Yes, I do. Okay, John, are we ready to try this one? Oh, this is going to be good.

Yes. Here we go. It's Mr. Villaches. Hervé Villaches. And Miss Davis. and Miss Betty Davis. Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yuletide carols being sung by a choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos. Everybody knows. A turkey and some mistletoe. And to make this season bright.

Tiny touch. Sweet eyes full of glow. We'll find it time to sleep tonight. They know that Santa's on his way. He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh. And every mother's child is gonna spy to see if Rainier

really know how to fly and so aim of the ring you did simple plays to kids from 1 to 92 Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you, Felice Navidad. It's not Christmas until we get Postro Betty. It was just fantastic using that with Mr. Village.

He's quite a tiny talent. He really is. Totally and utterly impossible. Not in the pocket at all. Back phrasing with the worst of them. Just awful. Gilbert Godfrey is absolutely, let me say Gilbert, when it comes to comedy, joking, roasting, musicality, podcast, voiceover work, acting in motion pictures, acting on television, wife swapping, whatever it is you do, you

are truly the worst I have ever seen in the history of show business. The worst. Whenever I watch, whenever I hear about Bette Davis, it's frozen in my mind how she would come on the Merv Griffin show, post-stroke, in a miniskirt. No, that was not the Merv, it was Johnny Carson and David Letterman. She'd wear a miniskirt. Oh, the Carson stuff. Oh, she wore, the second time she wore a mini skirt, the first time she wore on, no, her second time actually on Carson,

but it was the first time she was post-stroke. She had on a red dress, and it was designed by Nolan Miller. No, I must stand up one more time. Not because I want more applause, but because I want to show everyone that Nolan Miller made this dress for me for a French award I got in Paris.

The Desartistes de l'Équangier-Boron award. And then the second time she wore a mini skirt, was designed by Patrick Kelly. And the one on Leatherman was also a mini skirt designed by Patrick Kelly. And the one on Letterman was also a mini skirt designed by Patrick Kelly. It had buttons all over it and a hat with big buttons just all over it. Yeah, so if anyone got a blind-

Do you remember what they did to her on Letterman? They did a bit, a couple of days later, they had a dummy dressed in the same dress. Oh, jeez. And they hit it, they did a dummy dressed in the same dress I hope I'm not remembering it incorrectly, but it was Do you take do you take sides in the fight between Betty Davis and Joan Crawford? No, I see both sides, but I have to tell you, I don't know if you saw a feud with Susan Saradan and Jessica Lange. I know Jessica Lange a little bit. I met her a few times in New Orleans and

we were on the same plane coming back after I had spoken to her in New Orleans about her doing Long Day's Journey on Broadway, which she was amazing in. But on the plane, I can't, well, coming back after I had spoken to her in New Orleans about her doing Long Day's Journey on Broadway, which she was amazing in. But on the plane, I told her how brilliant she was, and she really was. She was magnificent. And she said, you know, I didn't know a lot about her. And she said, and it was probably my favorite role I've ever played, she said to me. She was perfect. But I think that, look, Davis was jealous of her looks

and Crawford was jealous of Davis's talent. I mean, as an actress and the range she had and, and how unvain she was, how was she was able to be unvain yet, you know, there's that line in the show where she says, you know, what's it like being the most talented one in the room, Crawford says to Davis and then Davis says, which is like to be the most beautiful one in them. And I think Crawford says, it's not enough. You know, it's, but I, I see both sides of it, but I do have to say, hush, hush, sweet Charlotte.

She was fired because Betty Davis didn't want her there. Betty Davis, as much as I loved her, she was mean. She was mean and Crawford was mean to her kids, but she was nice to everybody else. So, you know, you know, it's, you's you know she she would give everybody gifts on the set always and at the end she would say to the crew bless you and Betty Davis would come on the set the next morning before Crawford she's like is bless you here yet? Where's bless you? See good history.

See Betty Davis always struck me as like a mean bitch in that feud. Yeah, she was, she was, she was, yeah, I think she was tough on her. But it goes way back. There's a great book by Sean Constantine called Davis and Crawford. And it's about, it goes, it's a biography and it parallels their lives and then does it individually chapter to chapter. And then they come together half through the book and it's really well done and it explains it all but yeah she was mean she got she got her fired from Posh House Sweet Charlotte she didn't want to do it.

We had Bruce Stern on the show and oh he said he was there. Family plot. He was there when Joan Crawford came in at the read through and she saw, um, I'm forgetting the name again, the other actress, she said, Oh, Livy, what are you doing here? And Betty Davis says, she's doing your part. We fired you. Really? That really happened? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. And I thought that, you. Really? That really happened? Yes, and I thought that's mean. That's not in the feud. That's not in the movie. And I don't remember reading that in the book, but that's if Bruce Jern said it, he was there. Bruce Jern was extremely attractive when he was very, very young. Terrific actor. Wonderful, wonderful actor. We were blessed to have him and his friend,

Mr. Fonda on this podcast. Gilbert. Yes. We have to thank some people. Okay. This has been a crazy year. We didn't know if we were gonna be able to even do the show when Sirius put the padlock on the door during lockdown and we kept it going somehow. Yeah.

With the wonderful, dependable help of that man in the picture right there, Mr. John Murray, our audio producer. Thank you, John. in the picture right there, Mr. John Murray, our audio producer. Thank you, John. Saved. Thank you, John. Saved many an episode. But it takes more than a village to do this show, so we're going to thank some people

real quickly, and then we'll wrap up. And a special guest is going to take us out with a song. So we have to thank Dara, my wife Genevieve. We have to thank the wonderfully talented Mr. Jerry Dixon. My husband. We're going to thank Josh Chambers, Greg Pair, Mike McPadden, and John Seals, Matt Brousseau, Matthew Milligan, John Murray, our audio producer we already thanked, but we can't thank him enough.

Seth Saltzman, Joe McGinty, John Fodiatis, Jonathan Baldinger and Lan Romo. All the people at Sirius, Jason Schibiro, Jack Vaughn, Dan Spaventa, Stephen Varley, the invaluable Gino Salomon, who Gilbert refuses to thank or mention. Our spirit guide, Richard Kind, Bill Poricelli, Steve Hanna, Jeff Abraham, Danny Deraney, A.J. Fuhrman, Winston Simone, Andy Slater, Mark Macho, Alan Zweibel, and the great, and the great, and the great, and thelli, Steve Hanna, Jeff Abraham, Danny Deraney, A.J. Fuhrman, Winston Simone, Andy Slater, Mark Macho, Allen Zweibel, Mark Malkoff, Charlie Kochman, Andrew Buss, Michael Jensen,

everybody at all the listeners societies, Jackie Martling, and all the fans and all the supporters who got us through this. If I left your name out, we will put it up on social media. We're extremely thankful. It's hard to do this. It's hard to do it still, harder to do it still under lockdown with everybody in their home. There have been many adventures, right, Gil?

Oh my God! Right, John? Yeah, oh boy. We are so grateful to everybody for getting us through it and continuing to, and all the people who support us on Patreon, extra special thanks. Ah! Now, Mr. Gottfried, we have a special guest in the room. Speaking of Hollywood icons, we were talking about Miss Crawford and Miss Davis.

Miss Garland. Hello, everybody. It's me, Judy Garland. It's so good to see you so alert, Gilbert. You're so on top of things. Your memory is just incomparable, the way you just spit out those old time references that you are actually becoming one of before our eyes. But I think I want to sing a song that I sang here, I think the first year I did this with you.

I believe you did. I did. But I think the lyrics that I ended up singing for this song are very relevant to what's going on this year and how horrible it's been. It really has been horrible. Tough year. Awful, tough. Everything's closing and you can't go out and dine. I love to dine and I like to drink.

I can't even have a shrimp cocktail or a clams casino in a nice Italian restaurant, which I love. But Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, which I sang in Meet Me in St. Louis, was written by Hugh Martin and Mr. Blaine. What was his first name? Ralph Blaine. Ralph Blaine, who wrote the lyrics. And you know, the lyrics of the original song, when I'm singing it to little Margaret O'Brien in the window, were some very morbid lyrics and have yourself a merry little Christmas.

It may be your last was an original line, which next year we may all be living in the past. And I thought, well, that's morbid. The little girl is going to jump out the, and have yourself a merry little Christmas, pop that champagne cork, next year we may all be living in New York, which is not a bad thing right now since the rest of the country's just spiking and we're doing rather well I think. And then it goes on to, no good times like the olden days, happy golden days of yore.

Faithful friends who were dear to us will be near to us no more. That means you're never going to see anybody again. Where are they going? I don't know. And then it says, but at least we all will be together if the Lord allows, which you couldn't, that was a little too religious. And then from now on, we'll have to muddle through somehow. The rest is the same. And then I said to Mr. Blaine, I said, you have to change these horrible lyrics. Margaret O'Brien would make Slicers of one of the dolls that she buried in the backyard. So he changed them. And he changed them to lyrics that I approved and I thought were just marvelous and they were sad but they were hopeful

and that's what this the the one I ended up singing in the picture is this these are the lyrics and of course later Frank Sinatra had them changed to an even more happy joyful lyric which I don't like because it's no one wants to hang a star on the highest bow at my age you'll fall off the ladder and break a hip so these are the lyrics from the picture have yourself a merry little Christmas let your heart be light Next year all our troubles will be out of sight. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yul tide gray Next year all our troubles will be miles away As in olden days, happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us will be together If the fates allow Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow And have yourself a merry little Christmas now!

Merry Christmas everybody! Merry Christmas Mr. Cantone! Thank you so much, this was really fun! This was wonderful, Merry Christmas! Another fun one! Merry Christmas Mr. Guthrie! Merry Christmas. Another fun one. Merry Christmas, Mr. Gosprey. Merry Christmas, Mr. Sando-Pottery. And Mr. Murray. John.

I can't believe we've done another one of these. We love you, man. I can't either. I love you guys, too. Merry Christmas. We're grateful to you from the bottom of our hearts. Merry Christmas to everybody listening and everybody who supported us. And happy New Year, happy holidays, happy Kwanzaa,

happy all of it, whatever you celebrate, happy times to you. And don't forget when disciplining your children, discipline mixed with love is the best recipe. I had a great time. This was fun. Merry Christmas, Mario. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, everything.

Bye, bye, bye. We love you guys. We love you all. That was great. Merry Christmas. This was fun. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, everything. Bye, bye, bye. We love you guys. We love you all. That was great. Excellent. Thank you.