Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Doug Benson

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

ABC's "Mr. Belvedere" premiered 40 years ago this month and in this memorable conversation, comedian, movie obsessive and podcaster Doug Benson (“Doug Loves Movies”) finally reveals the sordid "truth" about the infamous on-set mishap. Also in this episode, Doug and the boys talk about bad sequels, booking dream guests, breaking into the business and the perils of meeting Hollywood heroes. Also, Harry Dean Stanton shuts it down, Doug messes with Harrison Ford, Peter Falk reunites with Alan Arkin and Gilbert (once again) rags on Ferris Bueller. PLUS: Foster Brooks! “Captain EO”! In praise of Alexander Payne! The Three Stooges in 3-D! And “The Curse of the Pink Panther!”  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TV, comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys. Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic. So here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal Classic Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here once again with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording

at Nutmeg with our engineer engineer Frank Ferdorosa. Our guest this week is an actor, producer, TV host, podcast host, and one of the busiest and most prolific stand-up comedians in the business. You've seen him on dozens of TV shows such as Curb Your Enthusiasm, How I Met Your Mother, Last Comic Standing, Mr. Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Sarah Silverman Project, Bob's Burgers, The Jim Gaffigan Show, and You're the Worst, as well as the host of his own series, including The Benson Interruption, The High Court, and Pitch Off with Doug Benson. You may also have seen his work and features, like the Lego Batman movie, Run Ronnie Run,

Return of the Living Dead 2, starring former podcast guest, James Caron. And you may not have seen his work in films like Blade Runner, Teen Wolf, About Last Night, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. How busy is this guy? He's also starred in his own well-received documentary, Super Hi-Me, his own original off-Broadway play, The Marijuana Lugies.

The Marijuana Logs. The Marijuana Logs. You should have called it Lugies. off-Broadway play the marijuana loogie the marijuana logs You should have called it movies. Yeah marijuana loogies is a much better title I like yeah, I'm gonna see you probably also would have called it the vagina And he's also the fellow member of the podcast community and the host of the successful shows, Getting High with Doug. That's Getting Doug with high. That's a typo. Oh, okay. See, now you fucked up.

I did. I fucked up. See, we don't really care about you, Doug. And we're getting... That's what I get. That's what I get for having a title where it's supposed to be wrong on purpose. And of course the wildly popular and inventive Doug Loves Movies or maybe it's movies like Doug. I don't care at this point. featured guests including John Lithgow, Amy Poehler, John Hamm, and even yours truly. Please welcome to the show the truest, hardest-working man in show business, a man who once wrote game show questions for Wink Martindale and co-star with the legendary Michael Jackson in a film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, our pal Doug Benson.

Hey! Doug! How's it going? I don't know what to say after all that. Thank you, Gilbert. That was a lot of things. That's the best review I've ever gotten. That was a lot of things. Yeah, he came out and did a lot of things. Thanks for having me. This is my first, never done a Skype podcast or a podcast via Skype.

Now, I have to ask you, is this the way you look normally or are you stoned every second? Well, you know, people assume I'm stoned all the time, so I might as well be is you know my Approach to it. I Could have worn my sunglasses just to ease you into it Where are they? Oh, there we just had bells are here on the show. So we were we had a guest with the sunglasses

And he has sunglasses on the whole time. No, he took them off Okay, cuz I always assume those guys that leave them on like, you know, Nicholson right Robin Thicke I just assume that they're just high out of their minds and just don't want anybody to know but that's a dead giveaway having the Sunglasses on the whole time. Look at that. It's now it's like we're interviewing George Shearing My god, let me blow some dust off of that reference. Yeah, that's welcome to the show. That one's for the millennials. They're going to eat that one up.

We had Belzer here, we were doing Vivian Vance references. That's this show, Doug. I love it. Yeah, they do. I mean, it's a chance to learn. Just listen to Uncle Gilbert and learn the thing or two. You little shits. Oh, I like that reference.

Yeah, Uncle Don. Uncle Don. Yes. Bless your heart. That'll hold those little shits for a while. You're a throwback, Doug. You want to ask him about Captain EO? Yes. You were in the Michael Jackson Captain EO film.

Yeah, it was an attraction that was at Disneyland for varying periods of time, depending on where Michael was at in the legal process. And then they were able to bring it back triumphantly when he was dead, because there probably wouldn't be any more allegations once he was gone. And then now it's gone again. I don't know if it'll ever return. But Francis Ford Coppola went way over budget, and on the last day of shooting, they just decided to hire $50 a day extras instead of keeping the dancers on. So the very last scene of the movie,

I'm dancing around like a fool in a costume that was previously worn by a professional dancer. Great. Can we see you in this if we get our hands on it? It's on YouTube, but it's very hard to make out which one is me because they very smartly edited it in a way where you can't really tell how bad we all are at dancing We're all just like jumping around like fools. It's it's they tried to give us choreography and the choreographer likes it gave up Right now you know an appeal to appear to have a dancers physique

Oh, no, I don't I didn't I didn't then either, but I was certainly skinnier, but I still found the costume very embarrassing to stand around in all day. Didn't even take a picture of myself in it. So if people want to say, oh, we don't believe that's you in that movie, I'm fine with that. Well, I'm fascinated by how much extra work you did back in those days.

That was my entry into Hollywood, is I was like, I'm going to move to Los Angeles. I grew up in San Diego. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to just go to LA and I'm just going to, you know, even if it's on the outskirts of show business, I'm only going to do jobs that are show business related. So I was a tour guide at Universal and I handed out those things where you get people to come to Research screenings for movies. Okay, and I and I was an extra and then eventually like a stand-in on Tons of movies and TV shows you were standing for Patrick Dempsey in a movie called a good movie in the mood

Yeah, it's a movie turned out really good. Yeah, a, but it was. Phil Alden Robinson? Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. It was a real arduous shoot though. Like it had like a 75 locations in 60 days or something. And there's no scene in the movie that's longer than like two minutes long. So it's really, it's got a lot of stuff to cover and it's a period piece. So everybody had to be in period attire. So it was real interesting. And Patrick Dempsey worked every day So it was my first, you know chance to just be there every day for the making of a movie You know that movie the woo-woo kid. No, it's good movie. Yeah, and now about this guy Sonny Weiskarver

He was like he was like 15 years old just getting married to adult women. Yeah, like years old and just getting married to adult women. Yeah. Like repeatedly. It's a bigamist. And you were talking, because you know, Capnio and all these other Disney little films that they have at the theme park, as well as Universal, also has the 3D films. Yeah. And, and like there at those theme parks, the 3D is pretty amazing.

And you were talking about how, like, it's so disappointing to see feature films in 3D. Yeah, it's just not the same. The, you know, Captain EO and even like the, you know, they got a Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon ride at Universal now. Oh. It's the 3D is like, you know, people sitting in the audience, especially children, like reach up to try to touch the things that are coming out

of the screen. And I've never had that experience with these 3D movies in a theater. It's more like there's depth rather than stuff coming physically out of the screen at you. And even in that way, like I saw House of Wax in 3D, they re-released it. Saw that in a theater? Yeah.

With the paddle ball man. The power ball was the only thing that worked. The paddle ball. Only thing that worked that movie and the rest of it you see depth but it's the characters themselves it looks like a pop-up card yeah because the actors look flat yeah look like you could reach into the screen but the actors are cardboard cutouts yeah film already has depth so it's not really that necessary to add to the depth of the

movie. You can still see foreground and background on film, you know. I heard that the, I never saw the three Stooges 3D films. They did about two or three of them where you had to wear glasses and I've never seen the three, but I've heard those are actually good yeah especially if you like getting hit in the face with a hacksaw yes who doesn't you remember in the 80s there was a 3d rev there was like a brief 3d revival and they released that movie coming at you oh yeah like I was throwing a tomahawk. Yeah at the camera and yeah, they were never

Yeah in the movie theaters. It never works that well when you go to a multiplex Doug do you do you buy do you bypass the 3d version and say fuck it? I'm just gonna see the I'm just gonna say yeah, cuz they want to charge you more money to put glasses on why don't you bother? To get LASIK if they're gonna make me wear glasses to go to the movies and then they're often bother to get LASIK because they're gonna make me wear glasses to go to the movies. And then they're often uncomfortable glasses on top of it. Yes, that helmet thing. I saw Avatar that way and I got so sick. I actually got a headache and nauseous from the...

Well like virtual reality does that to me. I get sick after two seconds. I get nauseous. I'd like to see some of your movies in 3D, Gilbert. I might like to see Funky Monkey in 3D. Doug, I'm fascinated, though, by coming from San Diego to LA. I mean, a couple of things. You didn't know, you didn't have any designs on being a comic per se.

You just knew that you had to be in show business in some way, shape, or form. Yeah, I thought I was more in the, you know, acting and writing areas. I was already super into writing movie reviews, so that was a route I could have taken. But I discovered stand-up like just a mere six months into living in LA because a couple of friends of mine, it became one of those things where we all dared each other to go on at a potluck night at the comedy store and the other two guys didn't go on.

One showed up too late to sign up and the other one didn't show up at all. They were just trying to get me to do it. I did it and got some laughs. As I was walking off stage, sitting in the back of the room was Louie Anderson who said You know said something nice. So it was nice. Yeah, so right out of the gate I was you know encouraged and then you know three or four years more of just doing it You know whenever I had the time because I was doing Extra work, you know the hours were long and I you know, it couldn't necessarily get out and do open mics, right?

but eventually I got you know, couldn't necessarily get out and do open mics. Right. But eventually I got, you know, I started to get better at it and I've, you know, done it ever since. You were 22? Mm-hmm. It's pretty young. I mean, Gilbert was 15, which is incredibly young. Well that's what I say, you know, whenever somebody says, you know, what's the best advice you can give somebody that's just starting out in comedy?

It's like, well, start out younger, out younger, start out as soon as possible. Like, you know, every comic that, all the major comics, most of them are ones that kind of were already, if not in clubs, but at least with their friends, were pretty much doing standup from a super young age. Bill, did you ever think at that age, I just wanna be in show business, I would maybe do a little acting? Yeah.

Or was it just pure, let me get on a stand-up stage? I wanted to be in show business, yeah. And also I think I've said this a billion times, what I was lucky when I was that young, because you're real stupid when you're that young. So you know, I wasn't thinking about competition or rejection or the odds of making it are ridiculously slim. Yeah, I mean, like, my parents were pretty supportive, but at one point my dad was like, you know, you really think that this can work, you know, just, just moving to LA and deciding to be in show

business. But, you know, for better or worse, it works for a lot of people because just staying in there, just the attrition rate is so high, it's easy for people to give up and move on and leave the rest of us to it, you know. Will you do a prop comic at the very beginning? Yeah. Yeah, my first few years, I like had a duffel bag with Random stupid props. I love it and and like pre-recorded sound effects and

Yeah, it was and that's what Louie Anderson said to me when I walked off He didn't say, you know great job or that was all fun. He was like there was some good stuff there You know which could have been any one of those nice random things. I pulled out. Yeah, there was some good stuff there, you know, which could have been any one of them. That was nice. Random things I pulled out. Yeah, it was super nice. Now, do you find extras to be strange people? Yeah, I certainly, I felt like the actors always felt I was strange because, you know,

I was so eager and excited to be a part of it because I was a big movie buff and then also wanted to have lines in movies. So I just did some serious extra overacting just to get attention sometimes. And in Blade Runner, me and my friend figured out that Harrison Ford, we're in the scene where he's running through the street

chasing the robot lady and trying to gun her down. He's trying to find her. And there's just all these people, you know, crowded future and he's like just trying to get through the crowd. And we me and my buddy figured out that if we got in his way, he would physically push us like really hard. Like he was really super fucking into it. And at one point my friend, he actually grabbed it by the lapels and pushed him against a bus. And we loved it. We weren't trying to get a lawsuit going.

We were just excited that Harrison Ford was manhandling us. Can I? Yeah, Gilbert, you have to tell Doug your Harrison Ford story. Yeah, I. So you your Harrison Ford story. Yeah, I... So you're in a plane? Yeah, I was at the Tonight Show and Harrison Ford was a guest and he said,

I'm a big fan. I thought you were great in The Aristocrats. That was terrific. And I thought it was that idiot and I thought you know was that idiotic thing where you figure well I'm a comedian I better say something funny now rather than just hey Harrison Ford I'm a what a what a treat I and so I go, oh, thanks, and your name is? And I was always not sure if he got the joke and didn't think it was funny or didn't, and I live with that for the rest of my life. That's how you take it to your grave.

Yeah, I think we've all got some of those where we just didn't say the right thing to a famous person and vice versa. People say weird shit to you all the time, I'm sure. Absolutely. But then you realize, I realized I'm not immune to it. They'll come over to me and they're desperate to say something because a celebrity and then they'll become like, oh, so you have a nose on your face or whatever. What kind of shit do people say to you? Yeah. They say stuff like that? Yeah.

And they think you're Bobcat, Gold Twitter. They just gotta say something. And then I become the guy when I meet a celebrity saying you have a nose on your face or I get that one and I thought this was Hollywood bullshit but I do get it didn't you used to be Gilbert Gottfried and I used to hear that on like the Merv Griffin show and stuff yeah and think it was bullshit now I found this true speaking of awkward interactions with celebrities and I was gonna save this one Doug for later but talk about celebrities, and I was going to save this one, Doug, for later. You know where I'm going. I think maybe.

I won't ask. I know I've had more than one. I won't. I want to. I was telling Gilbert, and listen, I love Doug loves movies, but the one, I guess, was you and Jen Kirkman trying to get Harry Dean Stanton to play ball?

The great Harry Dean Stanton came on Doug loves movies. And Gilbert, you've done it here in Los Angeles one time at that convention. Yeah, I was, you guys were fun together. I was vlogging the documentary, Gilbert, Neil was with me. Neil Berkeley. Yeah. Yeah.

And there's, you know, as you could know from having done it, there's a lot of like moving parts and stuff going on. It's not, you know not necessarily going to be clear to someone who hasn't heard the show before. This great character actor, Harry Dean Stanton comes on and is arranged through publicists. I said yes just because I wanted to meet him. I figured if he was kind of cantankerous, everyone would enjoy it. They did because he wasn't kind of cantankerous. would enjoy it and they did because he wasn't kind of cantankerous

he was full fucking cantankerous. Did not want to be there and just didn't want to wasn't interested in what I was throwing down and just some classic moments like at one point Jen Kirkman like thinking, you know, she's a funny comic Yeah, she was on the panel. So she thought she'd help out, you know It's kind of like everybody like trying, you know taking their best shot to make grandpa happy And she goes she goes at the end of pretty in pink, you know, you were Molly Ringwald's father do you think she that she should have gone with Ducky or with the other guy? I forgot his name and Blair or some shit.

And Harry Dean Stanton just takes a beat and goes, I don't give a fuck. I'm so glad we never had Harry Dean Stanton. She was trying to, you know, like, what can we, what common ground do we have? He was in that movie. I like that movie. Let's talk about that. I don't give a fuck. And then, and then at one point I said something about Twitter and he goes, what's Twitter?

Right. And Jen and Paul F. Tompkins and I, the three of us each took a crack of explaining what Twitter was to him. And every time at the end of our explanation, you go, nope, don't get it. You left wondering why he even agreed to come on and do the show if he didn't want to speak. Because he was, you know, publicists were like dragging him around to promote his documentary. And, I mean, I don't know, I'm sure, I had a great time with you, Gilbert, on Doug Lowe's movies, but you could see where a publicist would just say, yeah, you

just go talk to him about movies. Like, they don't really warn the guests sometimes what they're gonna be into in for. Oh I thought you guys were good together. Oh yeah yeah we had a great time I'm just saying that that Gilbert was in the same spot where like people said hey you should do this and he agreed to do it but then once you're there you could be like what the fuck is this? That's usually Zara his wife asking him forcing him to do those things. Yeah exactly that's what I mean. I went on and you just let yourself have fun Yeah, even though you knew very little about your own movie career. Yeah. Yes, you you tested me

Yeah, and and and I it was only until like ten questions in that I thought oh These are all having to do with my career these are my movies yes okay and I knew nothing yeah you're like next time I'll be great and then the next time I'm out of questions I asked them all you you had no idea there's no problem there's no problem child three right There was! Was there? Yeah. You weren't in it though? I was in it and Jack Warden but not the not John Ritter or the kid and it was a TV movie and then the John Ritter part was William Catt from Greatest American Hero. Yeah, that sounds about right. Gilbert, you had no idea of the format. Yes.

Which was fun. And you couldn't guess Beverly Hills Cop 2. That's right. Which you were in, of course. And then I think the topic was Ron Howard on Last Man's Stanton. And you couldn't think of Grand Theft Auto and Eat My Dust. Oh, that's right. You couldn't.

You kept saying those Roger Corman movies. Yes. But you were in the ballpark. And, and... Yeah, you know, I would have accepted Grand Theft Dust or Eat My Auto. Right. If we ever have Ron Howard on this show, I'm sure that's what I'm going to wind up saying when I introduce him.

We had Clint. We had Clint Howard. You know what I was going to say to you, Doug? Have you tried Ed Begley for your show? He'd be fun. Yeah, I bet he would be. I think he'd do it. He's that kind of guy. Yeah, he just might be, but you know, you always, you need some sort of in. You need to get, you know, be able to get in touch with people. Like that's something I do is I just kind of roll through my Twitter account and just find like verified people that are following me.

And then, you know, if it's somebody interesting, I hit them up via Twitter and ask them to come on the show. It works. Well, he's a sport. And Frank and I were talking, and this may come as a shock to everyone listening. You said you had a strange time on your show with Anne Heish. I don't see how that could be possible. Well, you know, it's... Haish is a strong word.

I could say... Very good. She's more like, and dislike. We just didn't, we didn't hit it off, but, you know, in retrospect, I think we both realize where things went wrong like I don't have any kind of? Animosity with her because we have a we have a mutual friend who agrees with both of us that that I'm hilarious and she ruined my show You know Lithgow was great with you too. Yeah. Yeah, he's uh, and I learned how to he, Lithgow was great with you too. Yeah, yeah.

He's uh, and I learned how to, he likes Lithgow. Oh, Lithgow! It's Judd Apatow and John Lithgow, so it gets very confusing when they're running around with the same spellings at the end, but different pronunciations. Didn't know that. But for some reason, Lithgow goes with Go, and he was on with Paul Tompkins and Jimmy Pardo. Jimmy Pardo will say anything to anybody

And so then he just kept calling him for the rest of the show go go Lithgow go go let's go Yeah, and so that helped me to remember when I hear it, but it doesn't also doesn't matter He's a very nice man. He'll answer to either by the way vulture magazine Recalled your that podcast with an hash the's Afraid of Virginia Woolf of podcast, which I enjoyed. Whoa. But I'm not trying to get the guests, I'm just trying to have fun.

Of course. You know, like. Of course. They, but she, Anne Heish just came out like, cause they had a poster for a movie that they were there to promote her and the director of the movie and then another actress from the movie.

And she, you know, the show is going, I've introduced them, I'm gonna start talking to them. And she starts screaming, I need some duct tape, somebody bring me some duct tape. And I was like, you know what, I don't like your attitude, but I appreciate that you're gonna shut yourself up right away. But no, she wanted it to put the poster on the tape, it to the

wall behind where we were sitting. But I kept saying to her, this is a podcast, people are listening. It doesn't really decorating the set isn't really necessary at this point in the show. And it just, it went from there. Like she just did not respond to being asked to do anything. Out of thousands of shows? You got to have one of those once in a while, right? Yeah. And then finally at one point she goes, are you going to interview me?

And I was like, no, you clearly don't know what this is. You're not here to be interviewed. You're here to interact and, you know, I mean, I'll ask you questions, but I'm not going to, we're not going to just sit and talk about you. So, so it was rough. But the director she was with, he was worse than she was. That was... That's what became a problem, is that we ended up

having to toss two guests out of a three guest panel mid-show. So how did you get rid of her? I have a very tall friend who happened to be there, and he just he was happy to walk up on stage and kind of shuffle them off the stage. And then they were waiting and they were watching in the wings as the show continued because Sandra Oh was the

other actress she was terrific she was game panel she stayed on the panel and we you know still did the show I pulled people out of the audience to replace the director and Anne Hayes and then And and the director like we're watching the show and they kept saying to people that work at the theater Hey, we want to go back out there and apologize and fortunately the people at the theater said no I need to go back out there. I found it interesting too. I saw an interview with you and you said that, it was Paul actually, he was asking you to pick a dream guest and you said Alan Arkin, who's one of ours as well. But you said, you're pretty confident he wouldn't be happy to be there.

Yeah, so you'd get full Alan Arkin. You'd get him being a real just unhappy, because that's where- It's a curmudgeon. That's his wheelhouse, is just being not into things. There's this new series called Get Shorty that's based on Elmore Leonard materials. But it's not the same story as the John Travolta movie.

It's different characters, but it's got- Ray Romano. Yeah, and it's got, he plays an executive who gets involved with a guy in the mob played by Chris O'Dowd, and it's really good. And then some of the episodes are directed by Adam Arkin, Alan's son. Sure. And- Man of his two.

Yeah, and so Alan shows up, I don't know how many episodes, I'm midway through binging the season, but Alan Arkin shows up as an old filmmaker who's like, he's got a walker and stuff, and I think he's a little bit more spry than that. I don't think he needs a walker, but he does some really funny business with it. Where like he can barely get around even with a walker.

Arkans, one of those guys, I think Gilbert and I have discussed this, like we'd love to get him here, but we're sort of, we're afraid of the outcome. He's just going to call. He's going to tell you to Argo fuck yourself And now while Gilbert heads into the nutmeg kitchen to steal more perrier a word from our sponsor sponsor. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan,

you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca. With tons of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV. And for me, that's Dance Moms, Bar Rescue, The Challenge, and Jersey Shore. All totally free on Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

Now back to Gilbert and Frank. It's them that you soon will thank. Here's a wild card question that I know this is just I just wrote odds and ends down on this card. Can I ask Gilbert something for sure? Okay. Because before I forgot, did you ever see the Alan Arkin movie? It was him and Peter Falk. It was like trying to get them back together after.

Oh, yes. Oh my God. It was like a take off on... Big trouble. It was a take off on that Edward G. double indemnity. Yeah yeah. But there's a scene in that movie and you can watch just that scene on YouTube where Peter Falk gives Alan Arkin's uptight character a drink, says you got to try this Sheldon or whatever his name is in that movie and then As he's taking a sip of this drink Peter Falk says it's oh, what is it? It's a it's like a fish liqueur. He says it's

It's a sardine liqueur. That's it sardine liqueur and So Sardine Lecour, that's it, Sardine Lecour. And Alan Arkin does one of the funniest spit takes ever where he doesn't want to just spit it all out so it just starts spurting out of different sides of his mouth. And he keeps kind of trying to drink it but still spitting it out. Tiny drops are coming out. Yeah, they're just shooting out of the corners and it's so fucking funny. Beverly D'Angelo in that? Yep. Oh yeah. And Charles Durning and yeah it's not it's not a great movie but

that one scene if people look it up Sardine LeCour is really really funny. He's great he can't be bad in anything he's good he's even good in the Jerky Boys movie dare I say. Well listen you know I sat through Choo Choo and the Philly Flash. There you go. I'm not sure I know what you're talking about. He was in a very peculiar. Choo-Choo and the Philly Flash. He was in a very peculiar film. I mean he's the perfect actor for it but it was just, he was like Inspector Clouseau.

Yeah right. In a movie years. They did like a, they did one without Sellers and it was fairly early on in the Pink Panthers movies. And then of course Sellers came back and did a bunch of them. Then eventually like Roberto Benigni did one. Oh yes! Steve Martin did two of them.

Steve Martin, is there anybody funnier that doesn't need to take somebody else's schtick entirely? Like, I'm just going to go pretend to be Inspector Clujo. Yes! It doesn't make any sense. somebody else's shtick entirely like I'm just gonna go pretend to be Inspector Clouseau. Yes. It doesn't make any sense. And there was one Inspector Clouseau movie where Peter Sellers was already dead and Herbert Law, not Herbert Law, David Niven had some disease. Yeah, that's the trail of the Pink Panther. Yeah, and he couldn't speak.

Rich Little dubbed in his voice. But they, Blake Edwards, wouldn't just let the dead lie. He felt like, oh, maybe I can squeeze a penny out of whatever footage I have here. And it's, it's, you could see the vultures flying around. That was the one where he had clips and outtakes of sellers and he played, it was a compilation movie. Yeah. And then they had Ted Wasse, the actor from Soap, try to play his son. Son of, Son of Clujo. Oh, that's right. That's right. And, and I remember I remember, yeah, he was doing like a David Niven imitation,

which was coming across like Ronald Coleman, and going, oh, I remember when Inspector Clouseau got locked in the closet, and then they would show a clip of Peter Sellers doing- That's a hard one to watch. Yeah, it's horrible No, I think I liked them all the way up to like part five I think I hung in there pretty far because I How ridiculous they would they started getting with when Cato would jump out at him? Yeah out at Clouseau and they would just destroy entire homes and restaurants and just with these massive fight scenes that it got so out of hand that I really enjoyed

it. Oh, he knew how to stage a physical comedy scene, like Edwin's. Those last two are pretty good. The Revenge of the Pink Panther and I think the one before that is The Pink Panther Strikes Again. They're pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

Herbert Lomb especially is very funny in that first one they first come back when he finally gets completely driven mad by Cluzzo. Now you, Gilbert was going to pick a bone with you. Okay. Oh yeah. Because you, and I saw this on your pitch show. I can't remember who it was, was pitching you a Ferris Bueller sequel. Okay. And, and I found out in doing a little deep diving that you like the film. Gilbert, Gilbert is on record here. Yes. As first thing I said to Matthew Broderick when he was a guest on was that I fucking

hated Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I thought it was a piece of shit. And then he was like, oh, okay, well I'll be headed towards the door. He was actually sweet about it. Very nice. That's what I mean. He's such a sweet guy. Yes, he is. He is one of those people. What's he going to do with that information?

I kept telling him how much I liked election to mitigate. Yeah. Well, election is like one of those perfect movies It's a master like it's really well Nicely executed but back to Ferris Bueller. Why do you hate it so much? I think Ferris Bueller is a little punk ass sure who thinks he's great and and deserves a swift kick in the ass. And it's like he's playing hooky from school. The principal is supposed to go after him. He's lying to his parents. Oh, and that

he destroys that kid's father's car and you go, fuck it that's an expensive car and you destroyed it you piece of shit don't don't make a point that oh he's not getting love and the father loves the car of course he takes care of the car it's a great fucking car yeah I hear you all on all of that but it's still a funny movie not to me did you ever make any news? No. Met him at the lampoon or anything? No but I will tell him. No he Oh, you can't tell him. Well, maybe I can go to that little teenage psychic or guy who's on The teenage psychic is gonna hook you up with John Hughes He could talk to him in the other world Here's my issue with it with the Ferrisueller, and with every movie where somebody's getting away

with something like Catch Me If You Can, or Ocean's Eleven heist movies. Whenever I watch that stuff, I'm like, oh, it's so much more exhausting getting the day off from school than just fucking going to school. You know what I mean? Like he has to do so much, he has to do so much work to not go to school.

And then you never see the character later in life going, oh, I needed to get good grades? You mean I have no career possibilities whatsoever because I was so good at ditching? Yeah, no one thinks I'm that fucking cool now that I'm in my 60s. If you're talking about doing a sequel, and I think they should really go for it Fucking cool now that I'm in my 60s Talking about doing a sequel and I think they should really go for it and make first Bueller like a complete loser like everybody He knows probably hates him. Yeah have him have him living in like a rat infested walk up

He can't get a decent job He has no education and he's still trying to be cool and people are going, what the fuck, old man? You trying to be hip? Go back and sing in your shower, you piece of garbage. And it was like, he takes a day off from school, so for what? They go to a museum. Yeah, that's like going

to fucking school and oh he takes over a parade that was obnoxious a fun scene though and and then I what I hate with the caper movies and those films is it's like the guy they're playing the trick on has to be the biggest fucking idiot on the planet not to know what's going on. Yeah, they have to be like very easily upsetable characters because then that sort of mass they're not getting it is their own, you know, their own anger. Yeah, so they had to cast Pacino as the only guy they could get that was angrier than Andy Garcia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Earlier in the...

You'll bring down my casino! Yeah, I hated the ocean soul. Maybe they just casino bank. You don't like the ocean's pictures? I hated the ocean's pictures. Yeah. So now what do you, I excite for. Maybe they just casino bank. You don't like the ocean's pictures? I hated the ocean's pictures. So now what do you, I excite for this one with all ladies, oceans age. Your girlfriend's in it, Sandra Bullock.

Yes. Oh, your girlfriend? Yeah, but I'm not looking forward to this picture, cause I hated the one with the guys in it. Why do I want women in it now? How's that gonna help? It's their turn to be hated, Gilbert. Hashtag me too. Can I throw out a couple of quick questions from listeners? Sure. This is a thing we call Grill the Guest. We

do it through Patreon. A guy named Frank Salerno says, Gilbert co-hosted The Essentials on TCM with Robert Osborne and he picked five of his favorite movies. What five, or you can give us three. I think it was four. Was it four? Yeah. What four might movie fanatic Doug Benson pick? Oh man, that is, that is tough. Or even three. All right. I'm gonna go with

Aladdin Beverly Hills comp 2 Problem guy, I want to have a Gilbert Gottfried film festival. I want to have that Funky monkey how to be a player how to be a player. How to be a player. Okay. Yeah, it's tough to just come up with them like that because I have so many favorites, so many movies I like, but since we already mentioned it, Election would be a great one to just, you know, there's just certain movies that you're just confident, you know, that if you show them to people, they'll respond positively. They just haven't had the experience. Election is one of the, I mean, I like it, but it's such a disturbing depressing thing to watch.

Well it's a black comedy like Hollywood doesn't make anymore. Yeah. They don't make them. It's suicidal to watch. Yeah. That was my wife's reaction. I mean that dude's movies have gotten a little like his most recent one was downsizing and Oh Alexander Payne. Yeah, that one was that one was kind of rough, but out of the gate

He had like two or three really good ones In the beginning of his career and yeah, so I'll watch anything he does sideways is all Yeah, I love yes. Yeah, yeah ways and citizen ways amazing. It's so so like, even though they're not comedians, it's just like being with another comedian on the road and how you're always on different pages in terms of how much tail you're going to try to chase down and how that ruins the weekend for the other guy. I think election, watching Election, I thought this is the kind of movie that they don't, if you look at something like Karl Reiner's Where's Papa, a real black comedy, a black comedy where people get hurt, where there's actual darkness, where a character is actually

pathetic, the studios don't allow them to be made anymore. Or maybe they don't make money. I mean, Election is one of the last ones I can actually think of. Yeah, I can't imagine election was a big money maker. I can't imagine it either. It was a novel. You would put Young Frankenstein in that company, too? That's one of my perfect movies.

I love every joke in that movie, and I get choked up at the end. I think it has a really satisfying resolution. Gene Wilder, he, is, you know, he's one of my top actors in terms of, I'll just watch him in anything, he's amazing. And I think somebody told me that in the producers, it was Gene Wilder's idea to do that speech in the courtroom, like like he called me Leo.

No kidding. It's a, and that's such a touching, it's like out of like pure insanity of the producers, there's actually that scene that's very touching and very warm. Yeah, Mel Brooks pulled that off in a few of his movies and and Gene Wilder is only in Blazing Saddles because Gig Young was gonna play the part. Yes. And he showed up drunk the first the very first day the scene where he's supposed to be drunk and upside down in the jail cell he showed up too drunk to even do it and

Mel Brooks just called up Gene Wilder says hey will you step in and I mean the part just feels like it was written for him. He's so good in it. Everything gels. And I think Mel Brooks said, uh, gig young was hanging upside down and like, uh, like white foam was coming out of his mouth. Yeah. And, and Mel Brooks said, wow, he's great. He really is convincing as his total drunk and he thought he made such a perfect choice. And Gilbert was in the last of the wild, originally you were in the last of the wilder prior team-ups. Yes. I was in for... Now you see him, now you don't?

No, the one asking... Oh, even worse. Even worse. I was in for... Now you see him, now you don't? No, the one after that. Even worse! Worse than now you see it, now you don't. I think it was called See No Evil, it was called See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Because one of them was deaf and one of them was blind. Because at least See No Evil had Joan Severance do a nude scene. So it was salvageable for that one scene.

Right. But I was... She still gets Severance checks to this day. Very good. So I worked on for about two weeks with another podcast guest, Peter Bogdanovich, and it was their last one. It was called Another You. And it was god-awful. And then eventually they fired Peter Bogdanovich and got someone else.

And then they fired most of the other cast and scraped old previously shot footage and redid it with a new director and I heard it failed so miserably at box office that one theater in LA was showing it once a day. That's the amount of business they were doing. Yeah, they were committed to it so they showed it the one time and then just do something else on the rest of the day. Who did you play? I was like one of their mental patients, cause Gene Wyler is pretending or whatever. Or they put him in there.

You got that nice picture with Wilder and Pryor out of it. That was the only thing good to come out of it. We'll send that picture to Doug. I want to see that movie now. I don't even remember that. Oh, it's not good. Oh, it is so bad. Wasn't that the one where Bogdanovich had to go home for something so he decided to let his girlfriend do that for a couple of hours?

Yes, yes, I heard. Take over, honey. Take over. From Wilder's nephew, he told me that Peter Bogdanovich was going home and there was this girl there who was the sister of Dorothy Stratton, who Bogdanovich was going out with. And he said, well, she'll direct this. And Gene Wilder goes in the classic Gene Wilder way.

He goes, well, does she actually know how to direct? And he goes, well, I'm pushing her in that area. So it fills you with confidence. So it fills you with confidence. I did like that Bogdanovich movie. They all laughed with John Ritter and Dorothy Stratton. That was a good movie. Oh, and you know what else they did in that prior Wilder film? That is another thing that drives me nuts in movies.

They brought in Kevin Pollack as a new mental patient. And they did that thing. I would like to get every fucking psychiatrist who ever lived in a room and say to them, have you ever once had a mental patient who does celebrity impressions? I've seen that in movies and TV shows where the guy's crazy so I go how are you doing miss today? Mr.. Brown who you dirty right and it's like

It's like the couch trip. Yes Yeah, exactly, but movies comedies about mental patients are particularly bad. Oh cuz they're always so cute Yeah, yeah except for Charlie Callis's character in high anxiety Yeah, except for Charlie Callis' character in High Anxiety. Oh, I think the other thing that movies do is if you're in an asylum or you're in the intensive care unit of a hospital, you just need to be removed from there and you're in the intensive care unit of a hospital, you just need to be removed from there and you're okay. Like crazy people are perfectly normal outside the asylum and people who are dying are like getting laid and playing sports outside the hospital.

Wearing a gown that's got a split in the back revealing your ass makes you insane. As soon as you get out of that, put on regular clothes, normal time. Here's one other one from a listener, Doug. This is from Sean Liu. L-O-U. Please ask Doug, I am a big fan, but is he actually high all the time or is it more of an act kind of like Foster Brooks? Do you remember Foster Brooks?

Yeah, Foster Brooks was a beloved television alcoholic. He'd be on panels a lot and his whole shtick was that he was just drunk as fuck. Yup. On roasts. A lot of Dean Martin. Everyone was down with it. Nobody, you know, mothers against drunk driving wasn't a thing yet. And before him there was a crazy Guggenheim.

Frank Fontaine. Frank Fontaine, right. Hi! Guggenheim is so great. Oh, and in all the old movies, it was like that was it. You had a funny drunk. Yeah, well, Fields, W.C. Fields made a career of it. Yeah, Ray Milan in The Lost Weekend.

Hilarious. Days of Wine and Roses, Jack Lemmon. Yeah. That's true. I mean, becoming an alcoholic, like, there's lots of comedians, famous comedians and comedic actors that like that was their big dramatic turn was the movie or TV show where they had problems with alcohol.

Well, like Dick Van Dyke. In the comic. Yeah, but also- Great movie. He was also in a movie that was a TV movie where he's just an alcoholic. He's not... I think he played a priest for Stanley Kramer too, who was an alcoholic. Oh, the runner stumbles.

The runner stumbles, yeah. I asked him about that on this podcast and he didn't... He wasn't very responsive. He thought he was bad in it. He was more into talking about Night at the Museum. Yes. Well, you know, we try to go back With these people by the way, I just as nothing apropos of nothing Doug, but the Dan Van Kirk's Mark Wahlberg

Give him props Because it's both wonderful and disturbing Yeah, it's a pretty amazing thing that he's he's managed to create and now but now Dan Van Kirk is jealous of his Mark Wahlberg character's success. So. Please Dan, Mark Wahlberg. So, because he does such a good Mark Wahlberg, people really believe it's him that are just listeners and haven't seen it live.

So we're in talks to phase the character out so he can get some publicity as himself. Really? Well, he's so good. Yeah, no, it's amazing. But like, you know, and he takes off the wig and he'll join me outside with the fans after your show and nobody even realizes it was the same guy that was just up there killing it as Walbert. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.

Do you guys want to try in Doug's honor, I said we would play a trivia game. This is not as this is not as classic as the Leonard Maltin game, I warn you, but it is but it is about Gilbert's career. So he has a fighting he has a fighting chance. He has a really good chance. To compete. I got everything wrong on Doug's show. This is an homage to Doug Benson. I even gave it a name. It's called Suspicious Characters. Okay. Did Gilbert play a character with this name,

or is it total bullshit? Okay. You want to try it? Oh, yeah. Okay. So who? Do we take turns guessing? Yeah, you go first. Okay. Lucky Larry Lupin. Did he play a character named Lucky Larry Lupin? I'm going to say that he did, yes. You are correct. Gilbert, do you remember where?

Now, it was one of two places. It could have been, it could have been Saved by the Bell Wedding in Vegas. No, these are only features. Oh, oh, oh, features. Yep. Lucky Larry Lupin. I never heard of this movie, so I'm assuming it wasn't released. 1989? Well, I mean, because I remember having a name like that in the TV movie Saved by the

Bell Wedding in Vegas Vegas and then there was I did an episode of Living Single no no these are features it's called never on Tuesday oh my god yes yes Claudia Christian oh it had He remembers it had every one I didn't work with them But every one of those hip actors back then of like both Sheen brothers. Oh, it was a brat pack Yeah, they both did appearances. They were in the stars, but they both because they knew the director and the guy What's his name? Judd Hirsch uh-huh Judd Nelson or Judd Hirsch? Judd Nelson. I was wondering what Judd Hirsch was doing in there.

This is when Judd Hirsch was one of the Pratt's men. Judd for the defense. And and I think what's his name? Gary that English guy who was in Princess Bride. Carrie Elwes. Carrie Elwes. Yeah, another good movie. Okay, you go. So you're one for one, Doug. Yes.

Now I'm going to let Gilbert sit this one out because this one's easy for him, but maybe harder for Doug. Did he play a character named Johnny Crunch on screen? Yeah. Yes, yes Was it in Can I guess the movie you sure can yes was that his name in the adventures of Ford? Oh damn, absolutely that deserves applause

Can you name my actual name? What before he changed it to Johnny Crunch. Oh, you changed it? You talk about that in the dialogue? Yeah. Because you're like a DJ or something, Johnny Crunch, right? Yeah. I don't remember the initial name.

I think I'm Johnny Tidalbaum. Yeah, yeah, that sounds right. You've seen the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Of course, yeah. that sounds right. You've seen the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Of course, yeah. God bless you. I mean, you know, I'm a Renny Harlan completist. For one.

Oh my God. Because he's made some great movies. That means you had to see Cutscroll Island. The Last Kiss Good Night with Gina Davis and Sam Jackson is a classic. Our friend Craig Bierko. I love them. And where is Gina Davis now? Out there with a bow and arrow somewhere.

She's doing work for women behind the scenes, trying to get women more credit and more respect in films. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's doing good work. Yeah, she's back in the whole me too thing, but she seriously was a competitive archer for a while. Yes. Wow.

Very good. I'd like to point out our friend Craig was wonderful in A Long Kiss Good Night, too. Craig Bjerko is an amazing villain in that movie. Brian Cox is great in it. It's a really good movie. I recommend it. Have Craig on your show when he's out there. I always say the name wrong, though.

It's The Long Kiss Good Night, right? Yes. Yeah, I always say Last Kiss or Last Action Hero Kissing. Yeah. Here's another one. Did he play a character named, I know you'll know this, Gil, did he play a character named Googie Withers? Well, it feels like at some point you have to make up a name that he's never played.

He's way ahead of me. So it might as well be Googie. Googie Withers is in fact, you're three for three, a British actress from the 30s. Oh wow. She worked for Hitchcock. Yeah, you know. I should play her in a movie. I was always good at these kind of tests, you know, because you just cheat and...

Two more quick ones. Assume that a fake one's coming. Did he play a character named Mario Zucchini? I was going to say yes to that one. Did he play a character named Mario Zucchini? I was going to say yes to that one. He did! Yes! Very good! I didn't know he was in the Veggie Tales movie, but...

Gil, you want to tell them when you played Mario Zucchini? Well it... I heard... In fact, just recently, I heard it was an animated feature and it's got good people, you know like Stallone and Ian McKellen and... Ian McKellen's in it? Yeah! Jesus!

Danny DeVito, I mean lots of people. And I heard it was released But it it never got an American Animal crackers is the movie animal crackers not to be released it was nobody caught it. Yeah Yeah, it's still running through the jungle Yeah, there's the last here's the last one last one, and you've been four for four here. Four for four, five for five. Yeah, so I'm going to blot on this one. No, you're not.

Okay. Did he play a character named Dr. Spleen? Hmm. I don't know. That seems a little on the nose. Like, I mean, you know You know what I mean like Dr. Liver or Dr. Thorax Dr. Howard Dr. Fine Dr. Howard

I'm gonna say that's a that's a fake one. Yeah now was that in genderbed? No, you played Dr. Spleen in funky monkey Funky monkey! I was Dr. Spleen in Funky Monkey. Funky Monkey! That's what they even called me! I was Dr. Spleen! I'm sorry, Doug. A movie I haven't seen. But I'm sure it's as good as the critics say it is. Best of four steps, Nurse Gallbladder. I believe our former guest Ed Begley is in Funky Monkey with you. Or was that Back by Midnight? With Rodney.

Back by Midnight. So who's in Funky Monkey? I misspoke. Okay. Oh well, Taylor Negron. The late great Taylor Negron. Matthew Broderick. Matthew Broderick's in Funky Monkey?

Not Matthew Broderick! Not Matthew. Matthew McConaughey. Matthew Modi. Oh, Matthew Modi. That's a different one. Matthew Modi. We'll get to the bottom ofughey. Matthew Modi. Oh, Matthew Modi! That's a different one. Matthew Modi. We'll get to the bottom of the list of Matthews.

Matthew Brady. And the actress from Touched by an Angel. Not Della Reese. Oh, the other actress. The religious actress. Yes. I can't remember her name off the top of my head. The one that talks like this.

Yeah, it's an R. I can't think of her name. Why can't I think of her name? It'll come to me. Rona? Rona! Rona, Rona, yeah. Not Barrett. Tilton?

Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Taylor Negron was a great comic. The best. And a super guy. But this is, Gilbert might enjoy this.

This is my impression of Gilbert asking, I mean, of Taylor Negron asking me about the gym that I just walked out of, because I ran into him on the street outside my gym. And he said to me, is it loud? We love that guy and we were kicking ourselves. There are a couple of guests over the years, we've done this for four years, that we weren't able to get on the show for one reason or another and he was one of them and a sweetheart of a person. Yeah, super nice guy.

I had the pleasure of running into him a few times and hanging out and he was always great. Roma Downey. Roma Downey. Yes, yes. Roma. Just poppedey, yes. Just popped into my head. I love that when that happens. You know when it doesn't pop into your head, that's when you have Alzheimer's, so just be alert.

Now Doug, do you have a weakness for particularly bad horror films? Because with the movie interruption, I know you do all kinds of films. You did Babe Pig and the City, but Mac and Me, which I believe is that really bad ET knockoff. Oh, yeah. That thing's amazing. And that's like a two-hour McDonald's commercial. Yeah, it's very much, they're like, well, if ET could push Reese's Pieces, why don't

we fucking just put McDonald's front and center in one of these dumb alien movies? And even calling him Mac. Mac, yeah. Like, the kid loves McDonald's so much, he meets an alien, he names it after McDonald's and then starts shoving fries down his throat. You know what was another classic film that was a McDonald's commercial? Was House Guest.. Oh yes. With Bill Hartman and Sinbad. And there is a scene... How did you not turn up in that? Oh my god it was certainly bad enough. What the fuck was Larry Lupin? Yeah. Yes. And Bert's there is a scene where all of us, he's in the street and you see all the lights are

off but a McDonald's is well lit up and they play like a very religious sounding, you deserve a break today, as he runs in slow motion in ecstasy toward McDonald's. Well, we just sit and watch, you know, Leprechaun movies started because one year at South by Southwest, we did the first Leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, just because it was a fun theme thing. And then I just decided that so for the next five St. Patrick's Day we did each, you know leprechaun to leprechaun in space leprechaun in the hood leprechaun back in the hood We're just going through all of them and they're all super terrible and and just fun to make fun of you know We just sit in the audience with microphones me and some other comedians and just you know

Say stuff the whole time. And so we've done a lot of the Fast and Furious movies, and the Twilight movies are very good for that. And it's just a fun experience. But horror movies tend to be easy to make fun of, and you have a lot of opportunity for talking because there's not a lot of dialogue usually. Well, you did Anaconda and you did cabin fever

Yeah, these are all have you ever seen anaconda? Oh, yes with JLo and was that the one that had the misspelling on the poster I think there's a there's why it might be anaconda where they spell anaconda wrong Yeah, they know something wrong on the poster although. I am I enjoyed John Voight Boy, yeah, yeah, yeah, Nish I enjoyed John Voight. John Voight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? The budget on that movie was all for the scenery because John Voight ate all of it every single day. He was just chewing away at the scenery constantly. He gets swallowed by the anaconda, spoiler. He gets swallowed by it, but then manages to get kind of burped back up for a second And when he comes back up his final thing he does before the Anaconda just swallows him whole is he winks at the camera? It's amazing. I remember amazing

Have you done Brando's Island of dr. Moreau? We haven't I don't think we've done it, but it certainly would be a candidate that movie is really it's fascinating It is how strange that movie is and and I love how in that movie at one point the Brando character dies and Val Kilmer is sitting there dressed as Brando doing a Brando imitation Yeah, he does a really good impression. Yeah. But it's a great impression.

But you're going, what the fuck is he doing that impression for? I think Frankenhammer gave up by that point. I think so. Just just just melded in. And that movie had the original Mini-Me, like Mini-Me from Austin Powers was based off of Marlon Brando had that little guy that Yeah, always by his side and dressed in identical outfits and and I think I might be the only one I don't know. I think the very weakest a

Creature of the Black Lagoon movies is better than a shape of water movies is better than a shape of water. Wow. There's a lot of detractors with the Shape of Water. I loved it but a lot of people did not get that movie, did not get on board. Yeah, it should have been called Fuck a Fish. And then I would have liked it. That's all it... you just need more honesty in the title?

Yes! Fuck a fish! That's it, huh? You thought you were going to walk out of there with some knowledge about what is the shape of water? I would like to learn that. Yeah! You know, you're never going to get the tour of Guillermo del Toro's house now. No!

The haunted house. He's got a pretty great sense of humor, that guy, though. Yeah, he does. I don't think he'd be upset by the fuck a fish reference. Yeah. The haunted house. He's got a pretty great sense of humor that guy though. Yeah, he does. I don't think he'd be upset by the fucker fish reference. I think he knows what his movie was about. I'm going to set you up, Gilbert. Here, Doug had a roommate.

Do I have this right, Doug, who was an actor on the Mr. Belvedere sitcom? Mm-hmm. And the only reason I'm asking you this question is so Gilbert can tell a ridiculous story. Let's see if I can remember it. Because Doug went to tapings every week when he went to, he used to go to sitcom tapings. One time I was filming something on some sound stage, I don't know, like an appearance on a sitcom, whatever. And and the big word around the sound stage, they were also shooting Mr. Belvedere

and Christopher Hewitt had to be right. The show had to be shut down and Christopher Ewett had to be rushed in an ambulance to the hospital because he accidentally sat down on his balls. Yeah, his own balls as we say because you know, could have been balls he owns, could have been a few softballs or basketballs. But no, his own genitals got underneath him. You've heard this story. No, because that's, I think, I got to take some of the credit for most of everybody everywhere

knowing this story because the actor who played Kevin, one of the kids on the show, he came home from work early and I was his room, one of the kids on the show, he came home from work early, and I was one of his roommates, and we were like, why are you home early? And he very matter of factly just said, Mr. Belvedere sat on his own block. That's true! It's been confirmed. See, I was there on the soundstage.

So on the soundstage, it was the word, you could go up to somebody cleaning the urinals and they would say oh mr. Belvedere's that on his balls. Yeah Yeah, yeah I told at the time I told Adam Sandler and he told so many people that I read in a book by Jay Moore About how Adam Sandler was working on the set of, like the story got all confused. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see. So suddenly Adam Sandler was on the set of Mr. Belvedere when it happened.

But that's the sort of thing that, you know, those show business stories, they kind of get lost. But the actual sitting on of the balls, suspending a day of work, I can confirm that really happened. How about that? And then a couple of weeks later, they were doing a Peter Pan episode because Christopher Hewitt plays Captain Hook in the Broadway musical of it. And they had him on wires.

And the wires broke, and he slated on his balls. Ow! Oh my god. I hadn't heard that second half. Oh my god. I hadn't heard that second half. Oh my god again, or at least he was you know, the injury was you know You think the injury was aggravated? You think they keep them off wires you think just being in the harness would be his be like no Thank you like he would be very much against that but apparently that happened

Like he would be very much against that, but apparently that happened. Oh, so we've got confirmation. We thought that was one of those Hollywood bullshit urban myths, but it's been confirmed. Because I remember on the set there, it was like it practically the soundstage shut down because everybody was talking about it that Mr. Belvedere sat on his balls Even for a while in my stand-up comedy act, I'd say here's my impression of mr. Belvedere sitting on his own balls And the whole impression is this That's all I got, Gil. You got anything else? What else can we possibly talk about?

We've said it all. You could tell Gilbert about Suzanne Summers. I think he'd appreciate that. Oh my goodness. That's where I learned the expression when I saw Suzanne Summers in person for the first time is where I learned what the expression camel toe meant. Oh! Because we went to be in a bunch of other kids,

went to a taping of Three's Company, and it was oversold. So they just had to sit in another soundstage at CBS and watch the whole taping on monitors, which was still kind of cool, I guess. And then, but then the whole cast, as you know, John Ritter was this sweetheart the entire cast Came out and just did like a Q&A with those of us that were in the overflow crowd

But Suzanne summers not only was wearing the tightest pants I'd ever seen at that point in my life but she was also just lounging like laying down on the stage while she was Talking to us and so it was really, really at eye level in front of a bunch of high school kids. And the girl sitting next to me goes, check out that camel toe. And then it was in the bus on the way home and I found out balls in camel toe.

Yes! We like to keep it classy. Yeah, that's a really great way to wrap it up. Thanks so much, you guys. Doug, you got any plugs, Doug? Tell us what's coming up. A million things up for you. Well, you know, these things, you never know when people are going to get around to checking

this podcast episode out. So I like to keep it evergreen, you know? Yeah. Yeah, and some evergreen you know yeah some guys you know they were you record a podcast with them like two years later you somebody'll go hey I just heard this new episode you're on sometimes they sit on them I don't get it I think you should put it out immediately but douglovesmovies.com is where all my tour dates and I do Doug Lowe's movies live all over the country and Canada and I'm doing some stand up and some movie interruptions, just doing lots of different kind of shows.

But douglowe'smovies.com is all we need to say. Will you bring back the marijuana loogies? Well, it was so exciting, you know, however many years ago it was that we did that 10, 13 years ago, but, you know, with all this legalization, it's just, you can't really coast on the taboo aspect of the material, you know, like, I still of course do weed jokes, but I don't know if we could, if we could bring it back. Sure. But I don't know if we could if we could bring it sure do you think anyone? Actually laughs at the Chi chon chong movies nowadays

They're kind of slowly paced Good stuff in them though. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but it's you know, it's a it's there there movies for watching while you're getting high and you know Have it on in the room and you know, you can you can do other things and the plot is still gonna be Cheech is trying to get weed and sex and Chong is getting weed and sex and he's not helping cheat out at all And she cheats was fun on your show by the way. Oh, yeah, they both have been on my show Tommy yeah, and Tommy sat in on the marijuana logs in New York Like he'd just come and do performances of it In fact, he we went on a little tour with him where the idea was that the three original guys would be on tour with Tommy

Chong so we'd rotate we'd all go on the tour but only two of us would go on each night with Tommy in the third seat and the second day of the tour Tommy calls for a meeting in the lobby and he's like you've got to quit the tour man and we're like What's up? And he was at that time on probation from because he had gotten out of prison. He was in prison for nine months or Selling weed right. I remember who's in prison for nine months for selling weed. Brian, I remember. Weed devices through the mail.

It was total, you know, it was total shitty thing that they arrested him for, you know, they got him on. He even went to jail or high, you know, what do you call it, a minimum security prison. He went because his son would have had to go, because it was his son's business. So Tommy basically threw himself on the sword. But Tommy had been married for a long time up until that point,

so he says it was a nice break going to prison. Yes. I'm sure. I'm sure it was. I think Tommy Chong said he doesn't smoke nowadays because he said smoking makes nowadays because he said, smoking makes you slow and stupid. And he goes, now he's older,

so he already is slow and stupid. He might've made that joke, but he's still smoking. Oh, and that's what happened on the tour is that we thought it was going to be great because, you know, we had done two cities. We had done Vancouver and Seattle, and at both both shows the audience just throws weed at Tommy. There's just weed at his feet and we just pick it all up and keep it. But then the tour got canceled after two days because he was on probation and apparently

it's a violation of your probation if people throw weed at you. He's like, I can't, you know, I can't get away from it, man. So, so yeah, so that was kind of a bad moment. But then we made up a lot of the dates later once his probation was over. And now he's, he's out there. He and Cheech both have their own brands of weed that they're out there selling. And, and life is good. This was an historic episode. Yes.

Because we confirmed something that has been long rumored. Yeah, Tommy Chong smokes weed. No, that wasn't it. Yes. It is confirmed. But the Chee Chin Chong movies are slow. Well, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre.

And we've been talking about camel toe and how Mr. Belvedere sat on his own balls with Doug Benson. Thank you Doug. Quite a headline for the... to describe the episode. Thanks for schlepping and doing this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Who cares when you dropkicked your jacket? As you came through the door, no one bled But sometimes things get turned around and no one spared

All hands look out below There's a change in the status quo Gonna need all the help that we can get. According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival. We just might live a good life yet. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Web and social media is handled by Mike Lipatin, Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to Paul Rayburn,

John Murray, John Fotiades and Nutmeg Creative. Especially Sam Giovancho and Daniel Farrell for their assistance.