Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Frank Conniff

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

“Push the button, Frank!” GGACP celebrates the birthday (August 30) of writer, comedian and actor Frank Conniff (“Mystery Science Theater 3000”) by revisiting this funny conversation from 2017. In this episode, Frank shares selections from his new book of MST3K-related essays and gives his take on topics ranging from Superman’s Jewish roots to the outsized cinema of Bert I. Gordon to the meta-comedy of Art Metrano. Also, Jack Webb directs, Pia Zadora meets Kris Kringle, Frank defends Ed Wood and Gilbert hangs with Sid Melton. PLUS: Richard “Jaws” Kiel! The Rip Taylor Trio! “Monster a Go-Go!” Billy Wilder teams with the Marx Brothers!? And the worst musical ever made! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It's so gentle. We've never smelled so good. Shop Old Spice Total Body Deodorant now. WHISTLE Something so fantastic So here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal Classic Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre. And once again, we're recording at Nutmeg with our engineer

Frank Ferdorosa. Our guest this week is a gifted comedy writer and actor who has written for popular TV shows such as Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, Invader Sim, and the Drew Carey Show, and appear in programs like Totally Vias with Kamu Bell, I think I fucked up about 12 names so far, Svenguli, He's got that one. Yeah, space hospital and cinematic Titanic. He's also had a recurring role in the aforementioned Sabrina the Teenage Witch as the baby turned adult Rudy Kazootie but he's best known to audiences as TV's Frank the villainous but beloved henchman and lab assistant on the long-running and wildly successful

Comedy Central series Mystery Science Fiction Theater. No, no. Mystery Science Theater. Mystery Science theater. Mystery science theater. This might take another week. A show he also wrote for, for five seasons. Currently, he's the co-host of the online series and podcast, Cartoon Dump. And he performs all over the country

with his old MST co-star Tracy Bellew. Close. Tracy. Tracy. Tracy Bellew in the Man Sir Back Tour. Belle Yu in The Man's Her Back Tour. He can also be heard every day as the cohost of John Fugle Sang's, I pronounced that name correctly,

Tell Me Everything on Sirius Radio. And his latest books are called Catch V, Conniff and 25 Mystery Science Theater 3000 films that changed my life in no way whatsoever. Please welcome to the show an artist of multiple talents and a man frequently compelled for reasons known only to him to bring up the name Sid Melton. Our pal Frank Conniff. Okay, this is in your book and we have to get this out of the way.

Yeah, but we're not gonna make him read the title again. No, no. Okay, now you mentioned Sid Melton. Yes. And I've met Sid Melton. Oh, you have? A couple of times. I've been at his house.

Really? Yeah, I played with his dog. He had a house right by the airport. Mm-hmm. And anyway, in this part, you say we have been put on alert that in all likelihood there was going to be a Sid Melton reference in the book. We assumed it would be tied in somehow with his work with Danny Thomas or maybe even his daughter Marlo Thomas, a feminist icon who smashed through the glass coffee table. That's what you seized upon in the book.

Yes, yes. Now I'm totally unfamiliar with this and I need to be educated. Would you please tell us about Danny Thomas and a glass coffee table? Well, I'm only hearing from, you know, who knows if it's true or not. Just a rumor that Danny Thomas, in his heyday, enjoyed paying women to come to his house

or wherever and he would sit under a glass coffee table and then they would sit on top of it and delicately put it then they would sit on top of it and Delicately put it that they would go to the bathroom. Uh-huh. And that was what he and if that's what he's into That's all I knew because I always would have thought uncle tenues would be the one Now I heard a variation that sometimes Danny Thomas would dress as a priest. Oh really? Yeah, while he did this. We heard this.

And I'm a Jew and I'm offended. That's how distrustful he had it. Why bring a religion into it? Oh. It should really just be a personal thing. Why bring a religion into it? It should really just be a personal thing. But you know what, he did so much great stuff for St. Jude Hospital, a great humanitarian, if that made him happy, God bless. Yes, mausel top.

Mausel top, actually. He was a mausel bottom. The book is terrific, by the way. We'll plug it again at the end but I want to say it is an absolute page turner and for fans of this podcast you must get Frank's book. Now one movie you mention in a movie, Santa Claus conquers the Martians. Right, which unfortunately has a spoiler in the title, you know, it tells you about that. But that movie, we did that movie on Mystery Science Theater and we did it, we did a whole different riff of it with Cinematic Titanic, but that's a movie I actually saw when it came out in like, 1963.

You saw it as a kid. As a kid, yes. With Pia Zadora, young Pia Zadora. Young Pia Zadora, who even as a kid I looked at her and I said she should get a Golden Globe Award. Now what was her husband's name again? Was he a sheik of some kind? He was a billionaire or a multi-millionaire and I can't pronounce his name because I'm anti-Semitic, but he, you know, she won a Golden Globe award like in the 70s or something for most promising newcomer.

From the movie Butterfly? Yes. And it was always just conventional wisdom that people thought that he bought it for her, you know. Right. I'm not going to say that. Maybe she was great in Butterfly. I think he financed every one of her movies. Yeah, he financed all her movies and yeah, so she ended up marrying well, but she did start as a child actress who was in Santa Claus, Conquist the Martians. I think in Butterfly, which someone described

as the size of stars, both in talent and in physical stature, in Butterfly, she co-stars with Orson Welles. Yes, who he thought the movie was called Butterfly Shrimp Orson Welles was in it, but You know greatest filmmaker of all time, but if you could meet his quote you could get him in a movie absolutely, you know and and so so Santa Claus does win. Yes,. Because I saw this years ago. Yeah.

I don't remember the plot and I've seen it too. I think the title would pretty much. I used to get it confused with the Christmas that almost wasn't. Yeah, that's a Paul Tripp. I never saw but I remember the ads for that when I was a kid. Paul Tripp, if you grew up in New York, you remember he was the host of Birthday House. That's right. Oh wow, what a reference, Birthday House.

But I never saw his starring vehicle. So the Martians land on the earth, they want to destroy the earth. No, I think they kidnap Santa and take him to Mars is how it works. Because their kids are all depressed and they want their kids to cheer up. You know, it's some kind of plot like that. And the big, one of the big things in it is they all eat pills as food. The Martians, and what was supposed to be a big joke

was that you see a Martian, ooh, roast beef, I love it, and he's eating a pill, ooh, ice cream. I think they thought that was gonna be the big comedy moment in the movie. You saw this in the movies as a child. As a child. How about that? But I had, as I talk about in the book, all I remember is that I saw it,

and so that doesn't speak well for it, because around the same time, you know, I saw Mary Poppins came out that same year Which I always had vivid memories of and and a hard day's night as well came out around the same time Which had a gigantic influence on me, but Santa Claus Conquers the Martians did not make a big impression on me What was your theater you grew up in Manhattan? Yeah, I the Lowe's 86th Street. I think I went and there was like a trans lux I think on there was a trans lux that was on Lexington. I think at 85th Street that

That would show matinee children's matinees, which I don't even know if they do that anymore. I Remember when Manhattan used to have dollar theaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, those to me was like perfect. Yeah, and you'd wait for the movie to be out for a while and then you could go see it for a dollar, yeah. And so even if it was a total piece of shit, you were okay.

Yeah, right, you just spent a dollar, you know, what's to complain about? Now, there's a movie with an interesting title. Mm-hmm The amazing Colossal Man, yeah Very interesting they obviously they stole it from you. Yeah Now what was the name of that actor who was that? Grant something like that. Yeah Now what was the name of that actor who was the amazing... Isn't it Grant?

Something like that, yeah. Is it Grant Williams? Grant? Might be. I'm not up on the actor who played him. And remember they did a sequel. Yeah, War of the Colossal Beast. That's correct.

Yes. Which we also did on Mystery Science Theater. He was like, because in the first one, he falls into the Hoover Dam. Right, right. And then his face is all smashed up and he comes out as the colossal beast. I like the colossal man. Oh yeah, you know, for its time it was like a pretty good gigantic monster movie. It's a good anti-nuke movie Yeah, really in a way mm-hmm and they had a they wanted to give him a shot at one point

So it was a group of guys carrying a giant hypodermic needle. Yeah I know it has very absurd things like that that were supposed to be serious at one of the things though when we were writing the riff of that movie the line that just cracked us up was someone said, like a military man said something like, you know, that was a monster of 50 feet tall, and then Glenn's girlfriend goes, Glenn is 50 feet tall. You know. Bert I. Gordon, by the way, is still around.

Oh, he is. Yeah, I've heard that. We tried to get him on this show. I think we've reached out a couple of times. Well, but I told you not to hurry. No rush. Yeah, there was no rush. Was Roger Corman supposed to direct this?

I don't know if he has the I think American International might have made it but Roger Corman did not direct every American International just about 750 of them but not all of them. We had him here. We had him on the show. Oh yeah. Bird Eye Gordon specialized well I say his initials meant big. Right, right. And he specialized in just... In gigantic, or giant or tiny people. Yeah, yeah, giant or tiny. Yeah, if you were like regular size, you couldn't get a meeting with him. With that really bad green screen.

Yeah, and you could always kind of see through it. It wasn't that great a special effect, even for its time. Yeah, they would show that in both of the colossal movies, you could see through the monster. Yes, you could. That's not a good sign. No. Well, I hope Erd Eygard is listening,

because now he's really gonna wanna come on the show. What I love too is when you cover the movie in your book, it quickly devolves into an attack on Chris Christie in a series, Chris Christie at a series Chris Christie Which I really enjoyed I have done a lot of very politically astute jokes Movie uh that if if this is the movie that I saw I it's a favorite of mine And that's the brain that wouldn't oh, yeah, that is a great one. Now that, as I remember it, there's a head and a plate. And a plate, yes. And by the way, I was just at this sci-fi convention, Dragon Con, someone

did an amazing cosplay of that. She was literally the head on the plate and was being wheeled around. I think you posted that picture. Yeah, I posted a picture. It was just amazing. Now, is this the one? Because if it is, it's one of my favorites. Where there's also a big doorway that you hear pounding on during the movie. And then the door swings open and this big monster. Hmm. I don't think that's the one.

That sounds more like the thing to me. No, no, no. The monster resembled the thing and it did definitely had brain in the title. Oh, okay Well, there's they saved Hitler's brain is another fame. Yeah, wasn't that one? They say they're one called Donovan's brain. Yeah, there was none of that was more like on the intelligence side Okay. Yeah, but there was definitely, I think it was this one. Interesting. There was definitely a monster that breaks through the doorway and of course smashes

up the laboratory. You know, it's been so long since I've seen the movie that might very well be the case. My main memory of that is just the actor played by Jason Evers who did a ton of television, worked a lot, was a good actor. He played the scientist who I think there was an accident and he saved his wife or his girlfriend's severed head and then tried to hook it up with another body, you know, because he just wouldn't give up on her. I definitely think there's a monster that breaks through the door.

Oh, okay. I believe you. I'm not questioning you. Now you, as part of your job when you got hired there at MST, you chose the films. Yes, I did because there was, we did a, at first we all just would casually watch like the first 10 minutes of a movie and go, yeah, this one looks good. We did a film called The Side Hackers. We picked it, we watched 10 minutes, and then a month or so later we're writing it, and 20 minutes in there's a horrific rape scene in it. We're like, we don't really want to do jokes about this. So we actually cut that scene out.

And then we just decided someone has to watch the movies in their entirety before we decide to do them. And that job was given to me because I was the only one there who wasn't multi-talented. I just was a comedy writer and a performer, and I was good at watching TV. Whereas Trace designed the sets, and Joel designed the sets, and Mike Nelson wrote the music.

Kevin Murphy actually did the film editing. They all had all these skills. I had none of those skills. So I got to just watch the movies in their entirety. Now, there have been a few horror movies with rape. Oh a lot of them actually. Like we talked about on this show, Humanoids from the Deep. Yeah we also talked about the rape of Richard Beck with Richard Crudda. Oh that's right! That's right! It scared me. Right in the title. Yeah. but in humanoid from the deep

basically these Creatures of the Black Lagoon ripoff come out of the beach and start raping girls Uh-huh, and then uh, oh what was it? Oh god. What was the one? Damn it the one? Damn it. The one where it, I know it stars Eleanor Powell's son. Jesus. Oh God, which one was this? And it had creatures who came out. They were monsters that raped a girl

and he was the son of them Eleanor Powell son Eleanor Powell So it's called that movie was called born to rape. Yes. Well Paul's out there Maybe Paul would be kind enough to look that one up for us. He's on it already Thank you. What the hell was the name? We should have it in about three hours The beast with something something beast really not three hours. Yes, the beast with something, something beast. Really, not blood beast. No, not blood beast, but it's got a great transformation scene in it.

The humanoids from human resources. Yes. So tell us about getting to MST in the first place, because it's interesting. It is a very, uh, sartic- sarticuous route, if that's a word. Because you started as a comic right here. Yeah, I started in New York City, uh, in the early eighties,

and you know what, actually the very first stand-up comedy show I ever went to see was in the late eighties, no, the late seventies, at the Improv in New York, and Gilbert was in that show, and Rick Overton, who ended up years later becoming friends with me. I love Rick. Joe Piscopo was in it.

I think Rich Schneider might have been the emcee. Wow. You know, it was just all these great people, and it took me a while to work up the guts to perform. And then I did, I did get started, but I had a bit of a drug and alcohol problem back then, to perform and then I did, I did get started, but I had a bit of a drug and alcohol problem back then as people tend to do in the 80s, some people.

And I ended up going to rehab in Minneapolis. Minnesota is very well known for their rehab centers. I never knew this before. It's not real well known for Mary Tyler Moore and rehab. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Right.

And Walter Mondale. And Walter Mondale, yes. And so I ended up going there and then I just stayed in Minneapolis because it's a great town for one thing. And also like I was like, oh, I'm gonna stay away from New York where I got into all kinds of trouble. I'm gonna, so a fresh town for one thing. And also, I was like, oh, I'm gonna stay away from New York where I got into all kinds of trouble.

I'm gonna, so a fresh start for me. So I stayed there and just luckily there was this, as a lot of cities in the, this was the 80s comedy boom, and Minneapolis had an incredible standup comedy scene of not just Joel Hodgson, but Louis Anderson and Jeff Cesario and Liz Winstead and All kinds of great people Josh Weinstein who I met and trace Bellevue and

All the people that I ended up working with on mystery science theater I met there and so I was just this guy doing stand-up comedy in the Midwest doing one-nighters and stuff and and You know and then my friends started this show on a UHF channel TV 23 in Minneapolis and and then the comedy channel started which became Comedy Central and Here was a show incredibly cheap to produce, that could fill up two hours of programming. So they picked it up on the Comedy Channel

and then Comedy Central, and then in the second season, they were looking for a new writer, and I was just there, and they knew me, and they thought I was funny. They also knew that I was a big film buff, and that I, TV buff, and I knew I had all this obscure stuff in my head which was perfect for what they were doing and so it was just incredible luck on my part. I might be the only guy to ever move from New York to the Midwest to get on a TV show you know. Well yeah I mean I've heard a lot of Shoba's origin

stories but I never heard one that started with, I went there for rehab and it kicked off my career. Yes, exactly. So if any of you young comics listening, I encourage you to have a severe drug problem. No, I know. No, that'll do it. Don't do that, but that's how it worked for me. Now you also mention a popular film

by the great Ed Wood. Yes. Well, I talk about Glen or Glenda in this book, which we didn't do on Mystery Science Theater. We did do, I think, Bride of the Monster. Yeah. Also with Lugosi. Yes, with Lugosi. And I actually genuinely and unironically and sincerely love Ed Wood as a filmmaker.

You do? Yes, absolutely. His films are completely batshit. They're terribly written, terribly directed, terribly acted, but there's this great feeling that comes through in his movies. It seems like a really part of him ends up on the screen. Passionate. They're made with passion.

Yeah, they're made with passion. And Glen or Glenda is an amazing movie. It's a film made in the early 50s that pleads for compassion for people with a different kind of sexuality. And I've said for a while, you know, Ed Wood didn't have the talent of an artist, he didn't have the skills of an artist, but he had the soul of an artist. And I've made fun of his films like crazy,

but I genuinely love them. Glenn Glenda has made the decision. Glenn has decided to tell Barbara of his dual personality. To tell her of the 90s and negliges, the sweaters and skirts, the robes and dresses, the stockings and the high heeled shoes, the wig and the makeup. All that goes to make Glenn into Glenda. He tells Barbara he cannot cheat her of the knowledge that she, as his fiancée, should possess. All the facts.

He tells her softly, hurriedly at first, then slowly, as he becomes more technical. His hands move to caress the smooth material of her Angora sweater, which he has so long and so desperately wanted to put on his own body. You should talk to Bob Burns. You talk to Bob Burns? No, no. Bob's around. He was on our show and he was a friend of Ed's. Oh, oh cool. Cool. We'll connect you guys. Oh great. You should talk to him. Because I think Bride of the Monster was originally going to be called Bride of the

Atom. That's right. Yeah. And and it's also got the great Tor Johnson. Yes, Tor Johnson is also in Plan 9 and is also in Beast of Yucca Flats. Oh, yeah. Which was made by I think the filmmaker that we really discovered on Mystery Science Theater, which is Coleman Francis, who believe me, if you think Ed Wood is the worst director

of the day, he doesn't hold a candle to Coleman Francis, you know. Who's the guy that made the creeping terror? Because that's about the worst. Oh, that guy. I forget his name, but you know what, this uh... Oh, oh, wait! Wait! We might have an answer on this this might be the first time Paul came up with something We're already in trouble so Peter Ford Maybe Peter Ford would be Eleanor Powell's son yes, you know I'm not sure which movie though It's be beast I think is in the title proud and the damned no fade is the hunter no Cades County no punch and the damned no fade is the hunter. No Cades County. No punch and Jodie. No

Prince that's no, it's not the little prince All right, we'll get it before we get off back to the back to someone back to the salt mine when when this Paul a million angry listeners will cry out in darkness. How could you forget the title of that one? Okay, here I buried the lead. One of the other movies that they did on Mystery Science Theatre, and you're going to love this, I think it's season two or three in your early days, was The Indestructible Man. Oh wow, Lon Chaney Jr. Which I think was the earliest horror movie

I remember watching. Oh really? Yeah. You know my earliest memory, it's almost my earliest film memory is The Incredible Shrinking Man. Oh yes. When I was a little kid and I really think that

that movie was the one that just made me interested in movies in general interesting. Yeah, and and also an Indestructible man is Max Showalter. Oh, right Catalina caper he and and I think every Jerry Lewis movie maybe, you know He was in how to Murder Your Wife. Yeah, yeah. And if I'm not mistaken, oh, oh, the Inspector from the Superman series. Robert Shane?

Yes. I think Robert Shane, Robert Shane and Joe Flynn. Joe Flynn from Mikhail's Navy. They're both in the same film. And I have a very vague memory of that movie, but I do remember, and I think we did a riff that Inspector Henderson and Captain Beamtim working together.

Yeah, they're the mad scientists. Yeah, yeah, that was, I remember that that's what makes me remember that movie is seeing those two Robert Shane and and Joe Flynn. Well Gilbert has a great affection for Lon Chaney Jr. Do you share it? Yeah yeah I love Lon Chaney Jr. And if I'm not mistaken, was the girl in it Barbara Payton? You're probably right. I mean, it's so long ago, I don't remember.

Because there was one actress back then. Are we still talking indestructible men? Yes, yes. I thought you'd gone to another rape movie. Because there was this girl back then, very pretty blonde, whose career fell apart. I think she was in, she fell into some kind of weird triangle thing with the guy from Detour.

The star of the movie Detour. Oh, I love that movie. Edgar Homer. So it was him and oh God, what was his name? It's like a foreign name He was like a romantic lead. Oh, I'm forgetting every fucking thing. That's okay. We'll get Paul in here again. Yeah, there was a Triangle, okay. Oh French at tone. Oh So the guy from detour beat up French at home

Oh, wow much older than this Bob repainting was fucking both of them and France Not torn was married to Joan Crawford at one. Oh, that's right And and I think Barbara Peyton and wound up being a hooker. Oh really yeah, that's a shame And I think she used to like to shit on glass cups. All right. Well, you know, at least there was work for her while Danny Thomas was around. When would you go over to Joe Flynn's house? You sure it wasn't Sid Melton's house?

How did you go from being hired as a writer and you basically had to, did you do some set construction too? When you were first hired? I did, I did. Everyone had to work on the new set and all the other guys on the show grew up in the Midwest.

They grew up around garages and power tools. I see. And I was, you know, I grew up in Manhattan. The closest thing to a power tool that my dad had was a martini mixer. And so I was really terrible at building the set. And it was weird, you know, it was my very first job in television and it was really my first show business job

that wasn't just being a standup comedy middle act, you know? And I, you know. And I didn't even... The first day when we weren't building the set anymore, when we were just sitting down to write the film, I was like, is this actually going to be the job now? Because up to then it was like some shitty day job, you know. Don't go away, we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. Now you must have shown the Cyclops. The Cyclops? Yeah.

We did not have the Cyclops on that. Because that one... Because a lot of those movies we would have liked to have had, but for one reason or another we couldn't get the rights to them. That one had Lon Chaney jr. and the voice of the Cyclops was Paul Freese that's right a ball he gets a mention in that book Paul Freese actually wrote and directed a movie that we did called the beatniks yeah and it's not a very good movie but yeah it's a low-budget film and there really aren't any beatniks in it either. And someone tweeted me and said that Paul

Freese's son is a working voice over there. Oh is he really? That's interesting. Yeah. Oh well maybe Rob knows him. We'll have to ask him. There are some movies that are just... Certainly not gonna ask Paul. There's some movies that are just entirely Paul Freese's voice doing every you know character. You know they still use his voice down at the Haunted Mansion. Oh do they really? Yeah he was amazing. Which is weird. Yeah. So how did you go from being the writer and the guy doing a little bit of set design to the TV's beloved Frank? And then tell me the origin of the spit girl. Well they just there was a guy before me who worked there

J. Elvis Weinstein was a hilarious brilliant guy and he was a teenager at the time and he was the mad scientist sidekick for the first for the first two seasons and and then he he left the show and he moved to LA and that's how I got hired. But I was hired as a writer, I don't think it was a fait accompli that I was gonna get to be in the cast, but they tested me and apparently the camera loved me, what can I tell you?

So I ended up just getting that part. But I really was hired as a writer. And I, you know, in every, I've done a few shows where I performed as well as Ro, but I always just really consider myself a writer on a show. Where'd the spit girl come from? Was that a Jor-El thing? Was that just? I don't know. I think it was just the makeup woman at the time

just threw that in and everybody liked it. I think they were just looking for something. They had my hair straight up and in a spit curl. Because it was a Jor-El look. It was, a lot of people have compared me to Jor-El. Now here's something interesting that I, that I really, I mean look, Superman was invented by two Jews.

Exactly, yeah. And if you look at, you know, if you Jewish folklore and Jewish prayer, the names have an L at the end of them. How interesting. And so in- Jor-El, Kal-El, El-El. Yeah, Kal-El, Jor-El. I never made that connection. Yeah. So the names have an L. That is interesting and it makes complete

sense. And I remember one time here I think it was Paul Schaeffer was playing some Jewish prayer music and it sounded in parts like The Munsters. Well, we're gonna ask Paul about that. The Munsters was a mixed family though. Oh yes, yeah they had the one pretty girl. Where did Push the Button come from? Tell me it's from The Great Race. It is from The Great Race. I'm so glad to know that.

Absolutely, and the relationship between Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk in that movie is very much like what Chase and I were in the relationship. That's where Push the Button Frank came from. We've talked about that movie on this show. Yeah. Not an entirely successful movie, but boy it's fun. No, no, at the time when it came out,

it wasn't a big hit and it was like a big budget hit. But I remember I liked it when it came out it wasn't a big hit and it was like a big budget hit but I remember I liked it when it came out but I was a much bigger fan of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and The Russians are Coming. We've talked about those yeah at length. Now tell us about a movie kind of convoluted in terms of references or whatever, but E. Gaw was made by Arch Hall, who starred his son, Arch Hall Jr. got the lead in the movie, and Richard Kiel who we all know from the James Bond movies And who I met at a convention one time incredibly nice guy

But this is something I never even realized until recently is that Jack Webb who I'm who I who I love I'm obsessed with drag now I'm obsessed with Jack Webb all of his movies everything he did, I'm obsessed with Dragnet, I'm obsessed with Jack Webb, all of his movies, everything he did, I'm obsessed with it. He directed a movie in the 50s called The Last Time I Saw Archie, which was written by a screenwriter named William Bowers. And Robert Mitchum played Archie Hall in the movie, and it was about, it was the real life story of Arch Hall when he was in the army with William,

Jack Webb's character's name, William Bowers. I mean, he didn't change any names or anything. And I had all this involvement with Ega and Arch Hall and all these years later I found out that the last time I saw Archie is literally about Arch Hall, Sr. How bizarre. I know I know. I've never seen EGaw. Have you seen that Gilbert? No. Okay. No. What about the one with the Typo in the title? Attack of the Eye Creatures. Tell us about the Attack of the Eye Creatures.

You've seen movies that are bad. This movie, you know right from the start that it's not going to be a good movie because there's a typo in the title. That's fantastic. It says, Attack of the, and then underneath that, the eye creatures. So it's Attack of the Eye Creatures. And it also has, I think, eight- Well, stuttering could be very frightening

They brought Mel Tillis did a rewrite And Bless your heart, but and also it's a movie that has if my memory serves it has alien creatures Who are wearing sneakers? And those are the eye creatures? Yes, those are the eye creatures. And we actually did a, one of my favorite sketches that we did during that movie, and it was the Rip Taylor trio, which was Joel and the two robots all dressed up as Rip Taylor,

all doing prop eye bits, you know, based around eyes. It was one of my favorite sketches that we ever did. I remember Rocket, was it, what's the one with Art Metrano? Rocket Attack USA? Rocket Attack USA. I remember that on the show. Yeah, yeah. And that one also turns up in the book.

Yeah, and Art Metrano who- Still around. Still around, wow, have you guys had him on? We want to, to yeah on our list You know I want to rush it Art Metrano In the world of comedy he's he's kind of important in that he did one of the very first meta comedy bits about comedy

On tea I would sing you do that on TV all the time, right around the same time Albert Brooks was doing the bad ventriloquist bit, which that stuff was very new at the time, you didn't see a lot of that on TV. Let me ask you about some of these other ones, Time of the Apes? Time of the Apes was a Japanese ripoff of Planet of the Apes. Right! Right! Right! Great ripoff. The apes look just like the ones in Planet of the Apes.

Have you seen that one, Gil? No! Time of the Apes. There's films in that book you haven't seen. Yes! That shocks me. What I love is that one in that one in the book in the chapter you go into you start making references to Lancelot Link seeing the chest. And you have Monster a Go Go. I've seen that one. Yeah that one is a hard one to watch

even though that's the title of Go Go in it. It's from the title it looks like so intelligent. Tell Gil about Daddy-O with the immortal Dick Contino. Dick Contino? Which is notable because it's John Williams' first film score. Oh, that? I didn't even know that. Wow. Wow. The debut score of John Williams. Maybe I knew that before, but I forgot.

That's amazing. Was he an accordion player, Dick Contino? Dick Contino was an accordion player and an entertainer from that era. But I don't think he plays accordion in the movie, although I might be wrong about that, but he's just like a young, like hipster hoodlum guy. In the movie, he wears his pants very high in the movie. And the thing about Dick Cantino is he,

there's a James L. Roy novella called Dick Cantino's Blues, where Dick Cantino is the main character in in the book. Love that. It's in one of James Elroy's books that are like four novellas. I forget the name of the book but and I think he might yeah I think he might have gotten in trouble with the mob and stuff and and he's one of those guys that I think had some people thought was gonna have a promising career and then it didn't pan out but but he always worked I remember he came through Minneapolis I regret that I didn't go see him and he had like an

accordion act where he sang and I think he played like UHF I looked him up he just died a few years yeah he did he died just recently yeah did you ever hear of Dick Contino oh yes you did yes did conti no I've heard of we had the guy Anthony Ferrante Directed to the sharknado movies. Oh really told us he was a dude where he thinks He's a direct descendant to Ferrante of Ferrante and Teicher. Uh-huh. Isn't that cool? Wow So you did the show from episode 201 to episode 624. I think I did a little over a hundred episodes.

And one of the creatures on it is a gumball machine, isn't it? Yes, Tom Servo, one of the robots, is a gumball machine, and Crow T-Robot is kind of a lacrosse thing turned into a robot kind of. And what, go ahead. Oh no, The Day the Earth Froze. Right. Oh, that's another one. That's actually one of the better movies that we did, because it's like some Swedish film.

It looks like Ingmar Bergman did a sci-fi movie or something, you know? And it actually has kind of a good budget and some clever things in it. I think it kind of pushes the ceiling of, was it quite bad enough? I think it was bad enough, but it kind of towed that line a little bit.

You know? Right, right, right. You were picking the films the entire time you were there? Well, I would pick them and recommend them to the rest of the crew and then we decide on it. And what happened to Frank when you left the show? You went to second Banana Heaven. I did, that was the last episode. I ascended and I think I was,

I don't remember, I think if you can see me, I could see Gabby Hayes like up in the midst. I think there's, I don't remember, I think if you see me I could see Gabby Hayes like up in the midst. I think there's a Pat Butrem reference. A Pat Butrem reference, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't believe I won't be able to kill you anymore. Don't worry, Clay, because somewhere deep inside your soul you'll always be killing me. Ha ha ha ha. And remember this, my sentimental friend. Even though I will forever be in your heart, till the end of your days, you'll be a profoundly lonely man. Thank you, Frank. That's very kind of you.

And just let me say this to anyone out there who's working for an abusive boss. Do not despair. Never let him crush your spirit, even if he's already crushed your skull. Always be yourself and wave your freak flag high. Geez, it must be horrible to work for a boss like that. Frank, could I ask you one work for a boss like that. Frank? Could I ask you one thing before you go? Sure. Could you push the button, Frank?

Watch me rock. And then there were a lot more incarnations. I mean there was Cinematic Titanic. Yeah. Even after you left MST. Well after we left and then you know I worked on a lot of other shows. I worked on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. That's right. You were Rudy Kasuti. I was Rudy Kasuti. I actually spent my 40th birthday on the set

of Sabrina and the Teenage Witch, sitting in a crib wearing a onesie. At that moment I knew that in some ways I was a descendant of Joe Besser. It's like wearing children's clothing as an adult. Your 40th birthday. Yes, exactly. That's wonderful.

Yeah. And then you did Invader Zim. I did Invader Zim. I did the Drew Carey Show. I did the Tomth birthday. Yes, exactly. That's wonderful. And then you did Invader Zim. I did Invader Zim, I did the Drew Carey show, I did the Tom Green show. And yeah, and then a few years, like about 10 years ago, Joel and Trace and I were hanging out and we were just talking about how we missed doing,

you know, Joel for years, he didn't have the rights. He got the rights back, which is why there's a reboot now, but he didn't have the rights to do it. And so we just like put together a new thing that wasn't Mystery Science Theater, but was an opportunity for us to riff on movies. And then we discovered that, because we only did like two live shows

the whole time Mystery Science Theater was on, and then we discovered that the one thing better than doing Mystery Science Theater is doing it live, in front of an audience, doing movie riffing live. And so we did that for like five years, and then Joel didn't want to do it anymore, so it broke up, and then a couple years ago, Trace and I just started doing it as a duo.

And now you're touring as the Mads. We're touring and we're getting a lot of work. We're doing a lot of Alamo draft houses around the country and a lot of movie theaters and it's just a blast. It's so much fun. Oh, you come from a strange childhood. Yeah, that's one way to describe it. I grew up in Manhattan and I actually grew up sort

of around show business because my dad was a journalist. My dad, Phil Silvers, was at my dad's wedding, at my parents' wedding. My dad was really good friends with Phil Silvers and Jackie Gleason and he used to hang out, my dad used to hang out at a place called Tootshores, and which is where he became really good friends with Jackie Gleason. And also I wasn't there, my brother Tony was there one time and met Joey Lewis there, which didn't happen to me. So my dad was a journal, he wrote a column for the Journal American in New York, he was an editor for Hearst newspapers, so he wrote a lot about politics and world affairs, but he also was very interested in sports and just had a lot

of friends in, from the worlds of journalism and sports and show business. And so he was an alcoholic. My dad, yes he was. He, you know, an alcoholic and a workaholic and he just kind of drove himself to an early grave. You know, he died I think in 1971 at the age of 57, which is really way too soon. And your mother was like a manic depressive. She was, she was. She had, she suffered from mental illness throughout my childhood. She was in and out of hospitals.

She had shock treatments. She had a really rough time of it, you know, but eventually she recovered and came out of all that and the last 25 years of her life were great. Wow. She only had a little bit of that lingering stuff, but mostly led a very productive life. That's an unexpected happy ending. Yeah, yeah.

She really, you know, she was, I think I even mentioned in the book that my mom was pretty really, you know, my yeah, she was I think I even mentioned the book that my mom was pretty badass You know, she she she she came from that traditional You know, she married my dad in 1951 and all a woman was supposed to do then was get married and have children She had five kids before she was 30 and then you know My dad got really sick and it was just all very overwhelming to her and she had some chemical issues, I think, inherited from her family of depression and stuff. And so she went through hell,

but she came out on the other side. So it's kind of amazing. That's a nice ending. Yes, yes, absolutely. And you were destined to go into comedy. Just hearing this. Yeah. Some people have seen me waiting for me to go into comedy. But. You fantas Yeah. Some people who've seen me are waiting for me to

go into comedy. You fantasized, one of the ways you escaped was by fantasizing that you were on the Dean Martin show? Oh yeah, I used to fantasize about like just being in show business and being a comedian. But the weird thing is then finally when, you know, in the 70s when I was old enough to start doing that, I had a lot of fear. And when I went to see you, Gilbert, in that show at the Improv, which was my first ever stand-up show that I went to see, it all, I so wanted to be a part of it, but it seemed like such a, you know, so far away, something really hard to attain.

And, you know, I had a lot of fears or whatever. But my first open mic was at that improv, the Sunday night I believe it was, at the New York improv. What was your act like in those days? Not that good. And also, you know my first joke, and this will just give you an idea

of how self-destructive I was in some ways, is I think my first joke was, I just announced that Frank Sinatra had died, this was long before he had died, and that they were gonna be holding his funeral, but before his funeral, they'll be having Pat Henry's funeral. Because Pat Henry.

Of course. Of course. So that wasn't the kind of thing that was gonna get me, you know, so it took me a while to figure out how to like entertain an audience. That's an inside Joe, pretty inside baseball. Right, right. Should we explain that to our listeners?

Yeah, Pat Henry was a comedian who used to always open for friends and attra. I updated it and made it Tom Dreeson. No, I'm kidding. I got it for the 10th of the game. Yes, he was the other one. That's right, Tom. Driessen, what was this game show your dad was on

with Groucho and Karloff? Well, I don't know if he was on at the same time with Groucho and Karloff. He might have been, but most of those, there's only like one existing tape, I know. There's a show called In the New... Was it called Who Said That? Who Said That, yes.

And there is a tape that you can, someone, I didn't even know about it, someone, some nice fan sent it to me. And it was amazing to me as someone who, in my childhood, my father was a very distant figure. He was, before he got sick, he was just always away, going all over the world as a reporter covering stories. And then he got sick, so I didn't even really have

great memories of what my dad sounded like, of talking to him. So to see him on an old TV show like this, and to see him talking as a healthy person was kind of an amazing experience. But this tape, like I said, anyone can see it and I don't know if it'll be compelling to you unless you're related to someone on the panel, but the panel is really fascinating to me.

It's my dad and it's Deems Taylor who was a musician and music critic, a friend of George Gershwin also involved with Fantasia, I think. And there's actually a big music world called the Deems Taylor Award that's named after him. And then the other guy is this guy something Caliborn who was a famous commentator at the time, Harry Truman, there's a clip, a famous speech Harry Truman made after he beat Dewey in the 1948 election where he does an imitation of this guy announcing that Dewey had won the election.

And he's also in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington as himself. Oh wow. Yeah. I think I know who you're talking Goes to Washington as himself. Wow. Yeah. I think I know who you're talking about. Yeah, H.L. Calton-born. Calton-born, yeah. And then the fourth person on the panel is Dagmar. Wow, how about that Gil?

Yeah. Remember Dagmar? Oh yes. Who's the only one there who really like understands like this is TV, you know, cause everyone else, and you watch the show, it's so-paced it's there's only one episode that you could track that I've that I've tried to try the Paley Center and all and I the yeah I years ago I looked at the Paley Center I don't know if they'd have more stuff now

but but so yeah my dad did a lot of those kind of quiz and panel shows in the 50s. He was on, the only other time I saw a clip of my dad was on some documentary. There was a clip of him on Meet the Press being one of the reporters. Very cool. Asking questions. So and also I have a memory of when I was a little kid in the middle of the afternoon, they stopped the class, they rolled a television in, and we all watched my dad on the Art Link Letters show.

That's very cool. Yeah. Frank Conniff Sr., you didn't say your dad's name. Yeah, so Frank Conniff is actually the proper pronunciation, but I changed it. You changed it, yes. And are you really Philip Seymour Hoffman? I've been asked that many times before,

especially since he died. Because I look like the more than ever now. I've been asked that many times before especially since he died Have gotten that unfortunately he didn't live to play me in my life story so dad pronounced it like Milton Kniff Milton Kniff Yeah, although can although Milton Kniff spelled it with a name. Yeah, right and then you change it to I'm going fucking crazy here Paul It was in a southern town. Okay. There's a very long, what, what, what, what? No, that's not for you.

That's for me. I got it. Yeah. I remember that. It was in a southern town, a very long transformation scene. Do we have the actor right? Are you sure it was Eleanor Powell's son? I'm pretty sure unless that was really... Peter will be her son with Glenn. Yeah. Oh, and that's why he's in Cades County. He has another son.

And Fate is the Hunter. Right. Because I looked through all... he did 18... Why don't you go to Peter Ford's IMDB page and see what you come up with? No I looked through all, he did 18. Why don't you go to Peter Ford's IMDB page and see what you come up with? No horror films? But maybe she had another. I think that's. So go to her Wikipedia page, see if she had another son. I think it had the word beast in it.

You're sure it's not Jane Powell's son? No. Is it like the beast from 50 Fathoms or something like that? No, no, no, and there was an actor in it, an old character actor like R.J. something. R.J. Armstrong? Oh, that could be! Who was it?

R.J. Armstrong who played Prune Face in Dick Tracy? I think so! I think he was in this. You know that actor? Yeah, sure, sure. Eastwood used him. Look that up! Okay, we're on it folks.

I'm going to ask you about some of the movies that Gilbert has recommended on this very podcast. Okay. Starting with Zombie Holocaust or Dr. Butcher MD. You familiar with it? I'm familiar with it. Or did we do, we did Zombie Nightmare I think with Adam West. Okay. Yeah, this was one of the Guinea productions. This was an Italian production. Yeah, like the point out They also made zombie and then I remember What's so funny about it was the producer was something like Mike Jones And and then you see the his real name. Mm-hmm, and it's it's like 10 pages long in Italian. There's a lot of vowels.

Yes. Well what I heard about Zombie Holocaust was we must never let this happen again. Okay, well here's one we all know and love, but we love your take on it and Gilbert is obsessed with this one, The Tingler. Oh, The Tingler, funny you should mention it, Traceable, you and I are now doing it in our live show. Oh wonderful. Yeah we've just started it and it's it is kind of borderline good you know it's and and I know

that a lot of kids who saw it when it came out were very scared by it but the tingler is basically like a lobster shell. It's really weird Centipede yeah, I'm really yeah cheaply done. Yeah, and and it's William Castle, you know who was the king of course? But we don't have like the shock seats or anything like that, but it's a very enjoyable It is it is and Vincent Price is great in it, you know, give him a little bit And then he says we now return to the movie And it's all the screen goes completely dark at that point, you know Okay, before I tell you what I have you have to work a deal. Okay, okay I got this right and this is the one yes that I get a little you know a little boost

You're asking for too much 1982 the beast within the beast within yes driving near a small Mississippi town in 1964 newlyweds Eli Ronnie Cox That was a porn film That's right Ronnie Cox was in a horrible creature. This is the one how'd you find it? Through that probably through that character. Did you go to through RG Armstrong? Yeah. Hey Gil we teamed up. Hey! Nice work Paul. Take the rest of the month off. I had forgot about Ronnie Cox. Yeah we gotta get Ronnie Cox on this show. Yeah he was in Beverly Hills Cop 2. You bet.

Thank you pal. We'll come back to you. We won't need you. We came through. Okay, here's another Gilbert one, The Seven Faces of Dr. Lau. Yeah, that's our Tony Randall. That would be a really good movie, yeah, with Tony Randall. I haven't seen it in a long time,

but Tony Randall, you know, if you're gonna cast an Asian cat part. Of course. Tony Randall is the one to go to. And one of the Morlocks. He really was too expensive. From the time machine Because it was made by the same guy George Powell, but George yeah, so

One of the more locks pops up in dr. Lyle You got to talk to our friend Bob Burns because not only was he friends with Ed Wood He was friends with George Powell. Oh really he wired some of the seats First for showing up the tingler Does he have like a warehouse? Yes, he's the movie collector. I've been to his warehouse and I have met him. OK, because you guys are kindred spirits. And he got a hug from Lon Chaney Jr. You bet. He knew Glenn Strange very well.

That's amazing. And Wilson O'Brien. He looked upon Glenn Strange as like a father figure. Really? Here's a couple more Gilbert classics from this show. I mean, he looked upon Glenn Strange as like a father figure really Here's a couple more Gilbert classics from this show Do you know active violence is is that with William Shatner? No, no, no Is that I think van Hefflin van Hefflin Oh van Hefflin and and Robert Ryan, okay? You know what? I I haven't that. It was on Turner Classic movies

One time but I didn't get to watch it. How about Alone in the Dark? Who's Martin? I believe Martin Landau Martin Landau Donald Pleasance and Oh, there's another famous actor. Mm-hmm. Oh fuck. I can't believe we have to talk to Paul again Mm-hmm. Oh fuck. I can't believe we have to talk to Paul again It was that in the 70s Did a lot of those kind of sure without warning he had kind of a you know Like a bit of a wilderness period in his yeah That was a fun movie. Yeah, he plays Fred Dobbs in one of them, which I always love because it's a because it's a

Yeah, and and yeah, there was in one of them, which I always love, because it's a treasure to see. Oh, I'm sure you are. Oh, I'm sure you are, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, there was those two, Donald Pleasance and Robert Ryan, not Robert Ryan, Donald Pleasance and Martin Landau. And Martin Landau. We'll get Paul on that one. And what about The Incident, which is the one set in New York City

with Tony Musante. Oh, you know what, I was just talking about that movie I forget in what context because I have seen that movie and I'm not you might think I'm joking when I say this actually has a really good dramatic performance from Ed McMahon. I was just gonna say Ed McMahon movie he's very good in it. And Martin Sheen is one of the hoods right? Martinen is like, is he one of the hoods? He was an Estevez then. Tony Musante. Tony Musante, yeah.

And Bo Bridges is a guy out of the Navy. Is Brock Peters in there too? Yeah, Brock Peters, Mike Kellan. Oh, God. That's a terrific film. It should get more recognition. It was an independently made film, almost entirely taking place on a subway, low budget.

And like I said, it's Ed McMahon's best dramatic performance. Well, we love films set in New York at that time. Yeah, yeah. Because you get to see all the old. Because you see all the old, and it's a whole different New York. It is. But you know what, it's interesting because different New York. It is. But you know what it's interesting

because when I moved to LA I became fascinated with seeing old shots of LA but most LA most movies made in LA you know they're either done on studios or they're done in the valley there's not a lot of stuff at like familiar locations. So many times I'll watch a movie and I'll recognize it as the soundstage. Actually in the Tingler they have this they didn't pay for any extras in the thing yeah so there's these back lot shots of buildings and stuff and there's literally nobody around except Vincent Price and whoever else is in the in the scene. Last Gilbert film is After the Fox.

I love After the Fox with Peter Sellers, right? And Victor De Sica. Not very known. Victimature. Neil Simon's first screenplay, I think. And Victor De Sica directed. Yeah, directed. It's very funny. I always thought it was funny. And also a great Burt Bacharach score, too.

Correct. Oh, terrific. Yeah, that's a movie that's not that well known. It really is. Who is the fox? I am the fox. Who are you? I am me. Who is me?

I am a thief. You cause your great poor, poor mother grief. Oh, after the fox, after the fox, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave,

into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, into the grave, You cause your great poor poor mother grief Oh after the Fox after the Fox Into the hunt with chains and locks. Oh after the Fox after the Fox Somebody's always Chasing after the Fox Wow you sang that with Robert Wool. Yes Seeing after the Fox Wow you sang that with Robert Wool. Yes

I knew the Bert Bachrach melody, but you knew the Haldavid lyrics So he surprises us every week there was another movie as far as a New York film, of course A name that's popped up on this show a billion times as the great New York director show a billion times as the great New York director Sidney Lamed. Right. And that was Bye Bye Braverman. Bye Bye Braverman with George Siegel. You bet. Yeah. And Sorel Book. Sorel Book. And wasn't it written by Herb Gardner who? It might be. Who ended up being the head writer of Saturday Night Live. Herb Sargent. Herb Sargent. Right. Herb Sargent. And it also had the only Jewish Bond villain. Who is? That was Dr. No. Oh, Joseph Wiseman. Yeah, very good. Who's in a lot of those kind of gritty, he's really good in the movie Detective Story with Lee Grant and Kirk Douglas. He plays like a kind of crazy criminal in it. Yep, yep, yep. Speaking of Baccarat, one of the

things you mentioned in your book, and God bless you for this, is Lost Horizon. Oh yeah. The thing that split up Baccarat and David. I think the point I make in that movie is that some movies are just bad But this was a bad movie that had a really awful consequence Yes to it and that it split up Burt Bachrach and Hal David who I think one of the greatest pop songwriting ever and And I actually saw it in a theater when it came out and it was just it was embarrassing, you know We we we were talking about bad musicals on this show

and that's one we never got to. Oh, that's right. Have you seen it? The remake? Yes. The musical remake of Capra's Lost Horizon? Absolutely wretched. Peter Finch singing.

That they played in the commercial all the time. Some of Liz Ullman's best singing. Liz Ullman, John Gilgud. Yeah. Oh, got it. John Gilgud doing yellow face pretty much. Yeah, it's just, you can't. There just a song they played in the commercial Bobby van Bobby van does a lot of bouncing yeah because I really like Bobby van I feel bad that he you know

once that rap film was wrapped you know there's a movie I wondered if you'd had it on the show, that of all people, I mean when you see the makeup and special effects in this, you'd say that this guy, whoever did this, you know, became, worked in a grocery store afterwards. And it turned out to be Rick Baker. Oh Rick Baker mmm in Octoman Oh Octoman Haven't seen that in a while, but I'm glad Rick Baker his career we did. Okay. Oh my god Did he ever did okay for himself? I want Rick Baker on this show. Oh, that would be amazing.

Ask Sabini to get him on here for us. Oh, yeah. They're buds. Because he, what an amazing makeup man. Yeah. Here's a question quickly from one of our fans. We do a thing called Grill the Guest, and you're being grilled by Luke Sinkowski, who would like to be referred to as the great Luke Ski.

He says, on Invader's Zim, was there a great joke, a killer joke that you wanted to put into an episode only to have Nickelodeon reject it or take it out? Can you recall one or one moment? I don't have a memory of that because I was the head writer on the show, but Jonah Vasquez who created the show, I think he's the one who always had to deal with the you know the Nickelodeon executives and you know they would one thing I loved about Jonah Vasquez is is we'd have these meetings with the with the executives and they would always question the logic of stuff you know this isn't logical this doesn't

track and Jonah always had the same response to everything yeah but it's funny and I just love that you know yeah but it's funny is actually a great now it is now did you mention with lost horizon yeah ah now I think Lee Vuhlmann she's in it yes yes yeah she was from all the Ingmar Bergman films and this it's what your Finch Lee Volman John Gilgud Bobby Van Trying to remember who else is in the cast. There's another what was that song? Oh god I know the song you mean is it Bobby Van sings the song. I don't know There's one song all of them children the one that Bobby Van sang, I think is called Question Me An Answer.

That's it, Question Me An Answer. Another one. That I don't remember. I don't even think Burt Bachrach would remember that song. All right, Paul, come on back in for the songs from Lost Horizon before we wrap it up. You do regret, and I found this in the notes, occasionally you would regret not getting a film on MST.

And one of them was Bella Lugosi Me meets a Brooklyn gorilla. Yes, I was... You're under Gilbert's own heart here. Well the thing is is that's not an example of not being able to get the rights to it. That's an example of me suggesting the film and the rest of the staff saying no you're wrong we shouldn't do that film. I think there was some sense that comedies were not the best thing for us to do, you know, but I was so fascinated by Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo that an absolute freak of nature Jerry Lewis duple gun yeah and and Duke Mitchell is not really I he's in the general vein of smooth

yeah smooth singer yeah like handsome but passable looking and a Tony Martin knockoff. More Tony Martin than Dean Martin. Very well put. So there were a bunch of bird-back wreck sounds. Question me and answer. Question me and answer. Living together, growing together. Oh, living together, we're living together as days go by. The world is a circle. Oh, the world is a circle. Yeah, that circle jerk. Share the joy. I might frighten her away. The things I will not miss. No, it's just living together is the one I remember. And they were all like dancing out on the beach.

I doubt there's anyone on the planet singing numbers from Lost Horizon, the musical at this moment. But Gilbert Gottfried is. Well, that's the crazy thing about it is the songs are so forgettable and it was such a flop. And this is Bert Bachrach and Haldavia could do no wrong up until this. Everything they did was hugely popular,

usually successful and brilliant. And that's what's just so. You and John get some pretty heavy musical guests on your show. We do in fact. You've had Herb Alpert. Herb Alpert who was great. We've had Willie Nelson.

We didn't get Bachrach, have you tried? Oh, I would love to have Burt Baccarat. We want to try to get him on this show. We feel like it's such a long show. That would be incredible. Yeah. And we just had Don Woss yesterday. Yeah, I saw that. Produced all those great records.

I once worked with Willie Nelson. Oh, you did? Yeah, on Alice in Wonderland. I've watched that. You never knew that. Yeah, there was like an afternoon TV show of Alice in Wonderland and she would like, and I remember in this he's like the troubadour and he keeps coming on to sing these songs of what's happening. Wow. You never told me

that. Yeah. We work with Willie Nelson. Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah. All right, Frank. Very nice guy. Your last question is going to be about the Marx Brothers. Oh, okay. I know you're a Marx guy like we are. I am. Okay. Do you, we've had two Marx Brothers related guests on this show. We've had an author and Steve Stollier who was- Oh, I've met him. Yeah. You met Steve? He's a great guy. And a great mimic, by the way. Are you in the camp that prefers the Four Marx Brothers to the Three Marx Brothers? Are you a Zepo? You know what, I would say yes, only in that I think all of the great Marx Brothers movies,

with the exception of A Night at the Opera, are the Four Marx Brothers. I mean, Duck Soup is the Four Marx Brothers. That's my paramount one. Yeah, all the paramount ones have have Zepo in them and he doesn't make it any less funny, you know. They they they keep the and also I think with Zepo in the films which which makes them different from the MGM films is that the idea that there's a romantic lead in it which they kind of do with Zepo but they don't really take it seriously, you know, like a monkey business he supposedly is having a romance and it's kind of just part of the goofiness whereas when Irving Thalberg brought them to MGM, you

know, they really took the romance like Alan Jones and Kitty Carlisle. It's one of the reasons we don't care so much for the MGM film. Yeah, yeah. They overshadowed the Marxists. Yeah, but I They overshadowed the Marxists. Yeah, but I think, you know, A Night at the Opera I think is brilliant and I think each subsequent MGM film still has great stuff in it, but they kind of go down in quality a little bit. See, I wasn't all that crazy about Night at the Opera. Oh, really?

Yeah, because I thought that was the beginning of the end. It was, but it also, you know, it resurrected their careers. I mean, Duck Soup was a flop, which is amazing to think of. They got dropped by Paramount. They were over with as film stars, and only because Irving Thalberg came along and said, listen, I know how to make a successful Marx Brothers movie. And he was right. And he- Made two of them.

Yeah, and he extended their career for another like seven years or something like that. So that- It makes you wonder when we've talked about this, Gil, what would have happened had Thalberg lived? Oh, yeah, I know. Making films for MGM. There's a lot of things that could have happened.

In one book I read, George S. Coffman was going to sign a contract with MGM to start directing films, which he only directed one film, like in the 40s. The Senator is Indiscreet. Yeah, right. But he was gonna actually shift his focus from Broadway to maybe making movies, but when Thalberg died,

that was the end of it. And I think there was talk at one point, Matt Heiken. Nat Heiken? Nat Heiken, I mean. Nat Heiken. Yeah, there was talk. Wanted to write a Marks Brothers movie, but they figured, we've got our own writers.

Oh, you mean in the 30s? No, no, later on. Oh, right, because I know also Billy Wilder planned a Marx Brothers movie called A Day at the UN, I think it was going to be called. And only because I think Harpo got sick or something and they couldn't get the insurance to do it. But they actually, I think Billy Wilder and I.L.

Diamond actually started writing it. Can you imagine, Gilbert? Billy Wilder. That would have been amazing. Marks Brothers. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. So Plugs, you're doing the MADS tour. I'm doing the MADS tour. We're go to the MADS are back our Facebook page and on Twitter and we have gigs coming up in Chicago and El Paso and Phoenix and Dallas and Pittsburgh and all over the place.

So are you still doing Pot House 90? I have a new one that's in production. And that's you and your talented brother Tony. Yeah, Tony, he writes the music and they're kind of like musical comedy radio plays. I do about one of them a year. And there's a new one that Tony's writing the music for now. And I also think I'm gonna have a new book out pretty soon. Right.

So. What's that about? That's gonna be, it's gonna be called How to Write Cheesy Movies, and it's gonna be basically a parody of the Sid Field screenplay book. I love it. Because the premise of it is I don't presume that I could teach anyone how to write a good

movie, but after working at Mystery Science Theater for as long as I did, I think I can teach people how to write a bad one. I love that. And also tell me everything. And also my podcast, Movie Sign with the Mads that I do with Trace Boulieu and Carolina Hildago. And we just talk about a movie every week. You are busy.

And you got a lot of stuff going on. 25 mystery science theater, 3,000 films that changed my life in no way whatsoever. And the dedication of the book is very sweet, by the way. Oh, yeah, because I dedicate it to the guys who did change my life, who were the people that I worked with on Mystery Science Theatre. And I love to John. I will.

Who's a terrific guy. He's great. He's the best. We could go on for hours. We could, for hours. Next time we'll do an entire Sid Melton show. I'd love that. We're working Sid Tomac from The Life of Riley. I think I tweeted that I was watching On the Town on Turner Classic Movies.

I think I tweeted that it's the best Sid Melton movie. Just as I tweeted that The Bandwagon was the best Herb Vergran movie. Herro, I love him. Well, he was on a lot of supermans. Yo, a ton of them. I always thought it was Herb Vigrand. Or whatever, I might be pronouncing it wrong. You know this actor.

Oh yeah. It was always a villain in the color Superman episodes, the ones that weren't scary. Yeah. He was in Superman and also every other thing that was ever done. Now, what was that Frankenstein, not Frankenstein, what was that Superman?

one Where they they put like a face up in the sky There was like some face on this on the George Reeves series. Yeah, I remember it's scary He's not throwing that one out to the fans. Yeah, there was an episode of Superman where Superman is Responsible for someone's day So scared the shit out of me is that the one the guy the guy comes and finds a secret identity He finds a secret identity. It's I think it's a couple and he flies them to a remote mountain he does and then they and he leaves them there and he goes back

to Metropolis and then they try to climb down the mountain and they are both killed. And it's one of those early, very film noir-ish Superman episodes which are different from the color. Very much so. And when I saw it as a kid I thought it was just really scary. Me too. Can you believe Phyllis Coates is still alive? Is she really? She really is. Oh that's amazing. Yeah Phyllis Coates is still alive? Is she really? She really is. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, Phyllis Coates was the more film noir one. Yes. And then Noel Neal was the more friendly.

More comic book-y kind of. I never cared for the color ones, but the black and white ones are good. The black and white ones are really good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in one of the Supermans, they basically redidid, they probably had it in their warehouse, like the saucer men makeup. Well the mole men stuff is also creepy. Yeah that's a very creepy, they released that as a movie I think.

It still gives you the willies a little bit. It does, it does. Yeah. Shall we let this man go on with his life? Yes! I don't want to go on with my life but the willies. It does it does. Yeah. Yeah. Shall we let this man go on with his life? But I will anyway, this has been Gilbert Gottfried amazing colossal podcasts with my co-host Frank Santo Padre and we've been talking to Frank Conniff and We could keep talking to Frank Conniff for days and days. Thanks for coming in and doing this, man. Thank you so much for having me.

It was a joy. Our fans will love this one. Sit and watch them all and we'll monitor his mind Now keep in mind Joel can't control whether movies begin or end Because he used those special parts to make his robot friends Robot will call Cabot, Chipsy, Tom Servo, Kroo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Tree Science Theater, 8,000. We're going to be right back. are Paul Rayburn and Andrea Simmons. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPatton, Greg Pair, Nancy Chinchar, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Murray, John Fotiades, and Nutmeg Creative.

Especially Sam Giovancho and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. Music