Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Howard Storm and Steve Stoliar

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

GGACP celebrates the 40th anniversary of a movie that inspired the podcast, Woody Allen's "Broadway Danny Rose" (released January 27, 1984) by revisiting this funny and fascinating conversation with one of the film's performers, comedian and director Howard Storm. In this episode, Howard (accompanied by writer Steve Stoliar) talks about the glory days of burlesque, the heyday of Jewish gangsters, the challenges of directing Redd Foxx, Don Rickles and Robin Williams and Howard's entertaining memoir (co-authored by Steve), "The Imperfect Storm." Also, Desi Arnaz saves the day, Raquel Welch acts the diva, Harry Belafonte breaks Jack Rollins' heart and Howard crosses swords with Don Adams, Lucille Ball and George Jessel. PLUS: Wayland Flowers and Madame! Praising Valerie Harper! The genius of Bud Abbott! And the return of "Dueling Grouchos"!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys. Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic. So here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. here's another Gilbert and Franks, here's another Gilbert and Franks. Colossal classic. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried,

and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're coming to you through Starburns Audio, the home of the comedy podcast, including Harmontown, the Koi Pond, and many others. Check out starvernsaudio.com. We're excited to welcome two guests to the show this week. Howard Storm is a comedian, actor, writer, producer, and a distinguished director of dozens of popular television shows, including Rota, Fernwood

Tonight, Laverne and Shirley, Mork and Mindy, Taxi, Too Close for Comfort, Perfect Strangers, Mr. Belvedere, uh-oh, Owl, Head of the Class, and Everybody Loves Raymond, just to name a few. and Everybody Loves Raymond, just to name a few. As an actor, he's appeared in Love, American Style, Sanford and Son, Duckman, I appeared in that too, and the film Take the Money and Run, American Hot Wax, Tunnel Vision,

and of course, the beloved movie that helped inspire this very program, Broadway Danny Rose. He's worked with many showbiz legends to name. He's worked with too many showbiz legends to name, but here's five just for fun. Don Rickles, Lucille Ball, Red Fox, Steve Martin, and Frank Sinatra. His brand new memoir is called The Imperfect

Storm from Henry Street to Hollywood and is filled with great stories, many of them even true. His co-author Steve Stolyar, is making his third visit to the show

and we still haven't gotten over his mesmerizing impressions of Grady Sutton and Nat Perry. He's a writer, actor, and author who has written episodes of

Murder, She Wrote,on and simon the new wr the new wkrp in cincinnati and sliders among others he's written and produced documentaries about john lennon elvis presley, and most importantly, Shemp Howard. He's also the author of Raised Eyebrows, My Years Inside Groucho's House, about his professional and personal relationship with the legendary Groucho Marx. I never met Steve Stonier. Please welcome to the show Howard Storm and Steve Stonier. Boys, boys.

I thought we should, you and I could recreate the mirror scene from Duck Soup for the radio because you see, nothing is spoken. It's all visual. So people would be looking at their radios and saying, I can't tell them apart. Welcome back, Stephen. Good night, folks. And welcome to the show, Howard. Well, thank you. Yes. Nice to be here. Howard, we were having

some technical difficulties here on our end, but before we got it solved, you were telling us a great story about directing the show Daddy Dearest starring Richard Lewis and Don Rickles, a show I attended a taping of, by the way. Oh, yes? In L.A. I'm sure you directed that episode since you directed all of them. I directed all of them, yeah. What was the Rickles story? It's worth hearing. It was Halloween, and Rickles walked around the place.

He always wore those jumpsuits, you know, the jacket and running pants. Oh, like a jogging suit. Yeah. So he pulled his pants out, and he said, Richard, Richard, come say hello to Eddie. I dressed him up for Halloween.

And Richard wouldn't go near him. Richard was blinking away, you know, and just nervous. And finally he said, Howie, come over, say hello to Eddie. I dressed him up for Halloween.

And he pulled his pants out, and I looked down, and I said, Don, how'd you find such a small hat? And from then on, he called me the Jew dwarf director. The Jew dwarf. Which must have been an honor coming from Don Murray. Yes, yeah. I love this too, Howard, that a principal said to you that you were, that said to your dad, because you come from a showbiz family. Yeah.

Your dad was in vaudeville. Right. Well, we'll get to it in a second who your dad was and who he replaced, which is fascinating. But a principal sat him down a school principal and said that he was you're too dumb to be anything but an actor yeah at 14 in those days unbelievable they quit school and went to work you know and to help the family and the principal called him to his office and said you're too dumb to be anything but an actor.

So I've arranged an audition for you with a friend of mine named Gus Edwards. And Gus Edwards was the producer of a show called School Days with the Crazy Kids. And it consisted of Georgie Jessel, Eddie Cantor, Walter Winchell, Fanny Bryce, and Bert Gordon. The Mad Russian. Yes. And my father did the second company, and he did the Bert Gordon role in the company. Was Groucho involved at any point with that group? No.

No. He wasn't in that group, but he was with Gus Edwards for part of his vaudeville days. Because I heard School Days had the Mox Brothers. Really? Well, they did Fun in High School as one of their vaudeville shows. But I know that, I think Groucho sang in gus edwards review when he was a little kid because they started walter winchell was a tap dancer yes yeah amazing amazing yeah and and we were talking we were both fascinated by that you and your father were among all those guys from Murder Incorporated, the Jewish mob.

Yes. Yeah. Well, he was raised with Lepke and Gara Shapiro, Kid Roppa. They were his neighbors. And they went to school together. As a matter of fact, my father, when he came to this country, his mother had lost two sons, one at birth and one a year old. If you want this child to live a long life, name him Zeta, which is grandfather means grandpa, Zeta, in Yiddish. So he went to school with the name Zeta Sloboda. Zeta Sloboda.

And they called him what, Slobo? Yes, they did. And the first day he got there, he changed his name to Jack. Tough neighborhood. He became Jack Sloboda. And he told me a story about the Depression. He was selling ties on the street. And he went up to see Lepke.

And Lepke said, how many tires do you have, Slobo? And he said, 20. He said, how many are there? He said, a dollar each. He said, here's 20 bucks. I'll take them all. Louis Lepke, the famous Jewish mobster. Buckhalter was his last name?

Yeah. Buckhalter went to the electric chair. That was after he knew your father. Yes. Wow, wow, wow. And your dad replaced tell us steve tell us who the our listeners should know by now but tell us who the uh who burt gordon was the famous mad russian well burt gordon was on the eddie canter show as the mad russian right right i remember one line as a kid watching it he introduced introduced a mad Russian to Herbert Marshall.

And Russian said, my dear Mr. Marshmallow, it's nice to meet you. Because he was always mangling English. He mangled, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also Al Kelly,

who was the master of the double talk, was at your parents' wedding? He was the best man. The best man. That's also fun. My father knew Al right from the beginning, you know, and they were buddies. And he, well, you know, best man, actually, my father married my mother in City Hall.

And he had Al come with him to be a witness al kalish oh that was his real name i love that how did you guys meet in the first place we have we've had steve on the show before as steve's been with us twice to talk about his relationship with groucho and and all other things howard actually you guys hook up? It's an interesting story. Howard propositioned me in a restroom. Really? Was it a 76 station or a Chevron station? I'm not sure.

The ground round. I think it was a 76. 76 station. And no, all seriousness aside, we are both members of a group called Yarmie's Army. Yarmie's Army Yarmie's Army named after Dick Yarmie who was Don Adams' brother he was a nice brother yes I gathered that from your book Howard

and I was introduced to Howard by Mark Evanier who has also been on your program oh we love Mark yeah and Howard deemed me worthy of inclusion and it's nice hanging out with all these old guys because they call me kid and I just turned 65 so it's nice that someone calls me that but that's because the other people are in their 70s 80ss, and 90s in some cases. Yeah, you are the junior member. And starting from the beginning of Yarmulke's Army until now, who are some of the people? Who were the founding members?

Originally, it was very heavy-duty guys. It was Harvey Korman. Tim Conway. Tim Conway. Tom Poston. Louie Nye. Howie Morris. Pat McCormick. Pat McCormick.

A name not unfamiliar to this show. Chuck McCann. Well, Chuck McCann, yeah. Jack Riley, I would imagine. Pat Harrington. Riley would interview McCormick. What's that? He would interview McCormick. What's that? He would interview McCormick.

Okay. And this was the interview. Mr. I understand you're a doctor. That's right. And I understand that you're a medical historian. Yes, I am. And can you tell me what the worst disease of mankind is? Without a doubt, the bubonic plague.

And Riley said to him, well, how do you know if you've got it? He said, when a monk throws your body on an ox cart, you know you got it. We're going to ask you to tell any Pat McCormick stories that you can remember periodically through the show, Howard. Okay. But I just want to get back to this is this is very interesting i mean your your dad's

your dad's career in show business he started in vaudeville he moved to burlesque right and then what happened he he became kind of a he took a different job in the business eventually yeah then he left the business and he worked for BMI. What happened is he had a young man who wanted to be in show business. And my father was very nice to him. The guy became a lawyer and became the lawyer for BMI. So he called my father and said, you working at Catskills, you can cover all the hotels and sign them up. So my father did that. And then he asked him to sign them up for the nightclubs in New York. And he traveled all over the country signing people up to BMI, which was like ASCAP. I see. Yeah.

And he eventually became a social director in the Catskills? Yeah, he did that when I was 9 and 10 years old. Every summer we went to the Catskills for like from the end of May to Labor Day. And how did you get introduced to the business? Well, I wanted to be a comic at the age of two as soon as because of my father. And my father would teach me timing when I was about eight or nine by holding my sleeve. As the laugh subsided, he'd let go of my sleeve and I would set up the next joke. And then he would do the punchline, hold my sleeve.

When a laugh subsided, he let go. Gilbert loved that. That must have helped you tremendously in TV. Well, yeah. With the studio audience. Well, I learned timing, you know, from that. And what he did once, he said to me one night, you're on your own. And the laugh subsided, but it didn't subside enough. And I got nervous and I set up the next line. And as we're walking off stage, he said to me, you stupid son of a bitch, you stepped all over the joke.

said to me, you stupid son of a bitch, you stepped all over the joke. And that led to years of psychotherapy. No, what it did was I loved it because it told me that he thought of me as his partner. You know what I mean? He was treating me like an equal by yelling at me. I loved it. So your father, as opposed to like we always ask, how did your parents feel about you going into the business? Your father really brought you in and helped you out. Yes. Until this is interesting. I did a double and my partner was drafted into

the Marines during the Korean War. And my father said to me, what are you going to do now? And I said, I'm going to do a single. And he said, who do you think you are, Jan Murray? Didn't he say you had to have something to fall back on because he had no faith in you? Yeah, he said if you're going to do a single, you need, thank you, you need something to fall back on, tap dance no faith in you. Yeah, he said, if you're going to do a single, you need, thank you, you need something to fall back on, tap dance or play an instrument.

So I studied saxophone. I was the worst saxophone player who ever lived. I tried a lot of tap dancing. I was the worst tap dancer. I couldn't do anything. Terrible tap dancer. Steve, you listen to the podcast. Did you happen to hear our interview

with Alan Alda? No, but I know that Alan's father was the, he was called the juvenile. That's where I was headed. In Burlesque, and he worked with my father. Robert Alda. Robert Alda worked with my father at a theater called the People's Theater on the Bowery in those days, and I used to go from school, after school I'd go on matinees and run to see the show and sit in the box seats and wait to be introduced. I bring it up because Alan told us something about his childhood bring it up because Alan told us something about his childhood and how the strippers in the show sort of took a liking to him. Right. And that happened to you as well. Exactly. You

guys seem to have had similar childhoods. Yes. And they actually made me a striptease outfit, a G-string. Yeah. I had a G-string and pasties, and i would do a striptease takeoff of you know of them doing the striptease and how old were you then i was about eight or nine have you and alan ever gotten together and talked about this i talked to him a little bit about it once at gene reynolds house i see you know You know? And I also sent him. I sent him, I found a, I guess an ad for the People's Theater with my father's name and Robert Alder,

and I sent a copy to him. But he never seemed to relate to it, you know, in terms of... That's interesting. Now, you said something that stuck with me about, like, the first time you were directing, and you felt like you had to give notes. Yes. Because, yeah, you had to give notes. Yes. Because, yeah, you had to.

And I've been with directors like that and loads of people. They have to justify their position by putting in notes. Exactly. Exactly. And so it was Doc. I was doing Doc with Barnard Hughes andes and mary elizabeth uh wilson well yeah and where mary wicks and mary wicks who every time she entered the room where doc was she'd asked me why she was going in there and and at one point um bernard bernard said to her, because if you don't come in, Mary, I'll be talking to myself.

Mary Wicks was one of those actresses that seemed like she was 70 when she was 30. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But you said you gave them the notes. It was just you felt pressure. Yes. Like, I got to do something.

Yeah, I'm the director, so I should do that. And I drove home so upset with myself, you know, thinking, why did I do that? It was just such a phony thing to do. You know what I mean? I gave them notes that had nothing to do with anything. I just found a reason to give notes. And I promised myself I would never do that again. And I never did. You know, I only... Yeah, because I've gotten notes like that,

where they just feel like, you know, justifying their position. I gotta say something. Right. It's like an editor that feels like if he doesn't hand the pages back covered in red ink, they'll think he's not doing his job, even if it doesn't need all that stuff. Yeah, exactly. And the funny thing about that is when you were doing Mark and Mindy, it seemed like the network went nutty with notes and new ideas that were idiotic. Yes, because Robin would say things and they would panic. He once said, oh, bullpucky.

And all of a sudden we got a call from New York. You can't say bullpucky. And there were three of us on the phone with the guy. We drove him nuts. We said, how about feline pucky? And he said, no. Well, what about dog pucky? And we kept going and going until finally we cornered him and he agreed to let us say bullpucky. Oh, and bovine residue. Was that the one that? Oh, that's what it was.

That's what we came up. We said to him, how about bovine residue? And he said, oh, okay. And then at one point they said, we need more tits and ass. Yes. On Mark and me. And they brought in Raquel Welsh. Uh-oh. And at one point they said, we need more tits and ass on Morgan. And they brought in Raquel Welsh. Uh-oh. Thank you.

That's in the book. Thank you. She was sitting on my right. The two women that played her lieutenants were on her right. We read for an hour. It was a two-parter. And at the end of the show, everybody left but Raquel, Gary Marshall, and the exec producer, me, Robin, and Pam. And we always would do this. We'd say to the star, the guest star, is there any way we can help you? Do you have any questions?

So we said, do you have any questions? She said, yes. Who are the girls that are going to play my lieutenants? And I said, the two girls that read with you. And she said, oh, I didn't notice them. Oh, geez. And one of them was Deborah Jill Fondren, who I remember fondly as a centerfold. She was gorgeous.

What was this craziness about she wanted them on dog leashes or something? Oh, yes. As who does not? She said, I don't like the opening. They can't come in before me. And we said to her, well, Raquel, if they come in after you, they're going to pull the eye. They're going to distract. They have to come in before you, and it's perfect.

One comes downstage left, one comes downstage right, and then they frame you when you enter. No, they can't come in before me and so she said well what if i bring them in on dog leashes she came up with dog leashes so and she wanted them wearing dog masks yes i heard. And then she had her costume made by Bob Mackie, $50,000. And then she suggested that we paint the entire set the color of her costume. Wow. I mean, it was bizarre. That's why you won't hear Raquel Welch on this podcast. It was bizarre. mean, it was bizarre. That's why you won't hear Raquel Welch on this podcast. It was bizarre.

On this show. And I mean, I imagine, because both the girls were hot looking girls who were with Raquel. Yeah. And I'm sure she didn't want, I'm sure the dog masks was a way that she wouldn't be upstaged by two hot looking girls. be upstairs exactly exactly girls in fact she was standing backstage with um the dancer who had done vicky fredericks who had done dancing on broadway the lead and she was a gypsy tough you know and rachel said to her where's the other chick and she said to her hey F face that woman has a name and I suggest you learn it

thank you for not saying fuck face by the way because you can't say fuck face on their podcast so you have to look for alternatives yeah because you know with me i get very offended feel free to speak freely howard i would come back to mark and mindy but i want to i want to tell one of the other stories about your childhood obviously you said you were in love with show business from the age of two and you and a friend you would sneak into broadway theaters because i want you to tell that great bet Garrett story. Oh, yeah, yeah. What happened? At the Winter Garden. We would go up to Broadway on Saturday, and we would sneak in with the crowd after the break. Intermission?

Yeah, intermission. So we'd see the second act of every play. We never saw a first act. So I said to him, you know what? We're going to see a first act. So I said to him, you know what? We're going to see a first act because I'm going to jimmy a door and get us in. So I jimmied the backstage door of the Winter Garden. And when you walk into that door, you're right there. You're backstage.

And we're standing there and all these people are running around trying to fix things. And a guy says to us, what are you doing here? And I look, and I see a picture of Betty Garrett and her name. So I said, we're here to see Betty Garrett. He grabs us both by our ears and walks us. He walks us to Betty Garrett's door, knocks on the door. She says, yes. He says, Miss Garrett, I have two boys out here that claim to have an appointment with you. And she said, oh, yes, I'm expecting them. How nice. Oh, she was great. So we went in. She said,

what's going on? We said, we never saw a whole show. We want to see a whole show. She said, okay, you come back next Saturday. There'll be tickets here for you. And then come back and see me. So we go next Saturday. Sure enough, we have tickets. We see the whole show.

We go back. We walk her back home. We go back. We walk her back home. She was living in an apartment on 8th Avenue and I think 53rd or 54th. We go to her apartment. Her mother is there. Her mother pours pineapple juice for us out of a pitcher with glasses that matched. I never saw that in my life.

We had glasses, jelly glasses, you know, or your side candle glasses, you know. We never had a real glass. So she poured this and I was just in shock. And we became friends we uh she did a radio show and we said when you mention our name she said i'll try and i remember listening at home and they asked her about who was in the cast and she mentioned jules munchin uh tommy callow galloway and howie storm and marty nedboy and we were nuts you know she said years later when you came to direct her in laverne and shirley you reminded her well yeah that's what happened she uh gary says to me we bring in a woman to play the landlady. I said, who are you bringing in? He said, Betty Garrett.

So I don't say a word. I hadn't seen her in 20 years. So I wait, she shows up, I walk up to her. I said, Miss Garrett, do you remember a kid named Howie Sobel? She looks at me and says, oh my God, that's you. What are you doing here i said i'm the director what a great story i love that yeah and and excuse me for obsessing on raquel welch but she i heard she treated pam dauber oh yeah Like she didn't exist. Exactly. Yeah. And what happened was it started with Robin trying to explain to Raquel that the opening worked, the introduction. Yeah, the way it was written. And Pam is standing off to the side. And she says, Raquel, you know he's right.

And Raquel did one of these, honey, please. And she stepped in front of Pam and blocked her out. And Pam, I've never seen Pam do this, went to the back of her head with a fist and went like she was going to hit her in the back of the head and every time every time came pam came on stage she'd walk up behind mikhail and pick up her fist and go like she was going to knock her head off didn't you say that pam pam doesn't get as much credit as she deserves yeah she never did i thought she she was amazing she i mean she'd had to wait robin out he would do 15 minutes of nothing to do with the show you know and she'd have to find a way to get back in and get him back on track be that straight man you compared her to bud abbott in the book yes great high praise yeah because i i always thought like, if you really watch Abbott and Costello, Abbott's the real funny one.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's the— What's the matter with you? He's the control. Get out of here. I mean, without him, you don't have a show, you know? I mean, he was the perfect straight man. Yeah, we think straight men are underrated.

They are. And, I mean, there are lines Abbott would say that weren't joke lines that would make me crack up. Like, put your hands down? Put your hands down. Or, who's on first? Costello says, you know, I'm a good catcher myself. And he goes, so they tell me. That fucking killed me. Yeah, he was

great. He was the best. You know? He and Dean. Who else? Dean Martin and Abbott I thought were the best straight men I've ever seen. Also great. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.

Who else did you see in those days, Howie, when you were sneaking into theaters? I mean, I know you saw a 15-year-old Jerry Lewis perform pantomime. Yeah. Wow. He was doing his record act, you know? Lip syncing?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I saw Alan King when he was 17 in the Cats. Alan King was never 17. Yes! He was born at about 45, I think. And he was sensational. I was so impressed with him.

He was so solid at 17 years old. Alan King. I'm trying to picture Alan King as a 17-year-old comic. Yeah, it's just like that actress you were talking about who was never young. Mary Wicks. Mary Wicks. Alan King was born an old Jew.

An old complaining, curmudgeonly Jew. A crutching Jew. Yes, yes. So you and your partner, Lou Alexander, eventually formed a comedy team. We did, yeah. That performed under different names. And as you said before, when Lou got drafted,

you became a single. Yes. We had planned when we met at 14, and we planned to do an act together when we got out of high school and i graduated high school and i left the next day for florida to team up with him and we we didn't have an act but we were partners and a minor detail that's right and my my father was booked was asked to work a club in Boston called the French Village and he didn't want to work it so we talked him into taking us and we didn't have any material So we took all the burlesque sketches that my father did and his father did. And we went out. One of the pieces we did was, I'm a veterinarian

and he's a farmer. And he says to me, my mule is sick. I said, not a problem. Take this hose, put it down the mule's esophagus. You take this talcum powder, pour it down the hose. Then you blow into the hose to make sure the powder goes evenly throughout the mule's body. And that mule will be fit as a fiddle. He walks off stage and I stall, tell the audience, you watch that mule will be fine. And you hear backstage, bang, crash. He comes back, his hair is all messed up, powder all over his face. I said, what happened?

He said, the mule blew first. Hmm. wasn't it wasn't wasn't lou's father partly responsible for the loss of your virginity in florida oh yes i'm glad you brought that up steve i'm glad my mother's dead because she would go nuts well go ahead and tell the folks at home what happened. It's in the book. Steve's doing my job. I love it. I was 14, and there was a girl from Canada, a 21-year-old girl who wanted to be a striptease dancer, and Lou's father was teaching her how to strip. was teaching her how to strip and we were in the room with Lou's father's mistress Linda who was 31 and a Pat the 21 year old and all of a sudden I don't know why but Pat and I start to wrestle and I get an erection and And the next thing I know, I'm screwing her.

Okay? I'm 14. Now, Linda says, I wish JoJo was here. I said, why? She says, because I'm hot. So I said to her, I'll do it. And she said, why? She says, because I'm hot. So I said, so I said to her, I'll do it. And she said, okay. And I went into the room, closed the door and I, I made love to her and she scared the hell out of me because I never, I didn't know that you scream and you yell, you pull someone's hair,

You pull someone's hair. You scratch their back. I was. So you had two in one night. Yeah. How old were you, Howard? 14. 14.

Yeah. So it was all downhill after that. Yeah. How do you top that? So you didn't know about all the other stuff, the screaming? No, I had no idea that a woman would scream. The first one didn't. The second one was screeching and scratching me. And I was like, what the hell is going on?

Obviously, your technique had improved in the five minutes between the women. Yes. Howard, you're my new hero. Tell me why. I feel like I can end the show now. Because I don't know anything that's going to top that. Nothing can top it. Tell us why Red Buttons and Jan Murray and Joey Bishop came to see your act with Lou.

Well, because we were doing burlesque sketches. And word got around these two 18-year-old, 19-year-old kids were doing burlesque. And, you know, they couldn't imagine. We were working a club on 7th Street and Collins Avenue. And we did a 2 o'clock in the morning show. We did three shows. And these guys would come at 2 in the morning to watch us work. And, you know, it was amazing.

And that's how we got to know them. We got to know Jan and Joey, which was very difficult. Oh, nobody liked Joey Bishop. You don't know how many guests we've had on, and the two that they hated were Joey Bishop and

Danny Kaye. Yeah. That's right. And because they were impossible people. They were rude. They were disrespectful. You know, where Jan was a sweet man. You know, he made you feel like an equal. Red Buttons the same. didn't have enough money for a tip so we went backstage and borrowed 10 bucks from red and he said to the guy that was writing his act at the time i'll never see those kids again you know and the next day we came back with the 10 bucks you know nice nice that's a nice outcome what was the phil foster story he accused you of stealing stuff from his act? Oh, yeah.

Somebody, when I started a single, another comic, a guy named, I can't think of his name now. Anyway, he gave me a routine, and it was The Blind Date, which was Phil Foster's. And it worked great. Phil Foster also from La Verna. I did it very well. To our listeners. You did it well. You did his bit well. Yeah.

I had no idea it was Phil's. You know, I mean, I just, a guy gave me a piece of material and I did it. So I'm working as stage coach in Jersey. And Phil Foster is there with his manager. And I come off stage, and Phil says to me, either you're very stupid, or you've got a lot of nerve. I said, what do you mean? He said, you did seven minutes of my act. I said, what? He said, the blind date, that's mine. I said, I didn't know that.

Somebody gave it to me. He said, you know, everybody's doing it. It's okay. Do it. Wasn't that sweet? That was nice of him. Oh, geez. He was a mensch.

He was. And I heard a story. I hope I got this straight. Your father had a partner, and they were waiting to go on, and the team before them did their act. How do you know that story? It was in your book. Oh.

You see, we wrote this book, Howard. It's got all these stories in it. You mean, Gilbert, you read the book? Yeah, we both read the book. Cover to cover. It's not like I was there. What happened was, in Boston, they were called Sunday concerts. You couldn't do music.

If you acted and have music, you can work a Sunday concert. So my father and his partner were doing this. And the dance team, these white tap dancers, show up. And my father says, what are you guys doing here? You need music. They said, we put something together. And they walked out on stage and they did my father and his partner's act. And my father's partner was a tough guy. So as they came off stage, he hit both of them, knocked them both down, said to my father, come on, Jack, take a bow. It's our act. And then he went and collected the money. Fantastic. That was one of the things in working on the book with you is how many stories involve violence or someone saying, how would you like me to shove this pistol so far up your ass?

Either you saying it to someone or someone saying it to you. And I think it's a miracle that you're still around after all of the scrapes you had with unsavory characters. Well, I said it to God who was holding the gun to my head for the second time. Oh, tell us that story. No, no. No. That was creepy.

Yeah. The guy asked me, I just opened in the club and I finished the show and I went into the, there was a lounge that was a part of the club. And this guy is there and he says, have a drink. And I said, no thanks, I don't drink. And he pulled out a gun. And he said, I said, have a drink. I said, I, thanks. I don't drink. And he pulled out a gun and he said, I said, have a drink. I said, I'll have a bottle of scotch. And everybody laughed. And then he's holding the gun to my head. And I said to me, do me a favor, take the gun and stick it up

your ass. And he said, why? You're not afraid to die? I said, let me explain. I don't know if you can understand this concept. I don't know what it is to die. So that doesn't frighten me. What frightens me is waiting to die. While you're holding the gun on me, that scares me. So either shoot me or I'm walking away. And I walked away with my back to him waiting to get shot in the back. And what was the thing? You wanted to hear Dinah Washington records on the jukebox? Oh, yeah, yeah. We were in a bar and we loved Dinah Washington. So in those days, it was a nickel. I was about 19 or 18. And Lou and I put a dollar in the machine to play like Dinah Washington over and over again.

Some wise guy sitting at the bar and he gets tired of hearing it. He walks over and pulled the plug out. So I said, hey, what are you doing? We put a dollar in. And we get into an argument. And me, by schmucking New York, Lower East Side, tough guy, says, do you want to walk outside? He says, I don't have to walk outside. I know where you work. He said, I want to see how tough you are when I got a gun to your, you're on your knees and I'm holding the gun to your temple. Now, I don't know how, but a friend of my father's who was an ex-fighter who became a masseuse in Florida shows up at the club. I don't know how he found out.

He said he had a problem. I said, no, I never. He said, don't be a wise guy. I heard a guy threatened you with a gun. So I said, yeah. He said, you know where he hangs out? I said, yeah, across the street. So he said, let's go. We walk across to the guy with me, the fighter, says, you, I want to talk to you. He says, I'm playing cards. He said, I don't give a shit what you're doing. I want to talk to you now. So he gets up, he walks into the lobby. He says, I hear you threatened this kid with a gun. He said, I was only teasing. I was kidding him. He said, okay, let me explain something to you. From now on, your life's work is to make sure that this kid

doesn't get hurt. If he so much as gets a scratch, I'll come looking for you and I suggest you have your gun. And he says, and you know something, I think if the kid fights you, he beats you. And I said, yeah, I'll fight him. And he said to me, shut the fuck up. Quit while you're ahead. And didn't someone at one point take out a gun and give it to you? Oh, that was in Youngstown.

He didn't give it to me. He opened the drawer. They had pulled guns on me, and they took me into the boss's office. And then they put the guns away. It was two of them. And they opened the drawer in front of me, and it was a.38 Special. And he said to me, you know what that is? And from my neighborhood, I knew what those were. So I said, yeah, it's a .38 Special, and I picked it up. He said, do you know how to use one? I said, I'm not sure. I think

I squeeze the trigger, a bullet comes out here and hits you right in the chest. And I saw the blood drain from his face. The other guy was trying to open the door to get out. And I said, take your hand off the doorknob or I'll put a bullet in your ass. Now I got, now I become Jimmy Cagney. Jimmy Cagney. I got a gun. So I say to the two of them, put your hands on your heads. So they both are standing with their hands on their heads.

And now I don't know what to do with them. I'm stuck with two guys. And luckily, luckily the boss came in. His name was Shaky Naples. Shaky Naples. Geez. That doesn't sound like a real person

sounds like a cartoon his real name was santino but they called him shaky so he walks in and he sees me holding the gun on them with their hands on their heads. He said, what's going on? I said, this jerk off is putting a gun in my face every day. And now he knows what it feels like to have someone point a gun at him. So he says to the guy, you pointed a gun at the kid. He said, yeah, whack in the face. And he says, from now on, the both of you pick him up at lunchtime at his hotel. You take him to lunch and you take him to dinner. I said, no, no, it's okay. He said, no, they're going to take it. And I had to spend a week or two weeks with these morons having lunch and dinner.

Good stuff, Howard. Good stuff, Howard. And I heard another story. Your father and his friend were talking. It was on the Jewish holidays. So the Hasidim. It was Yom Kippur. Yeah.

Yeah. And he was with a guy named Kid Dropper. Kid Dropper. Yeah, because he would punch a horse and knock it down. Jesus. They called him Kid Dropper. Yeah, because he would punch a horse and knock it down. Jesus. They'd call him Kid Dropper. And the other guy was a light heavyweight amateur fighter and my father. And it was Yom Kippur and the old Jews were walking to the river. And a horse and buggy pulled up and four Irish guys jumped off and started pulling the payas, you know, and taking the hats away from the old Jews.

So my father and his friends turned the buggy over, pulled the spokes out, and beat the shit out of these guys with the spokes from the wheels. Insane. Oh, man. Isn't that a... Didn't he have a childhood just out of a Norman Rockwell painting? He really did. It's idyllic. Unbelievable.

There's plenty more stories like that in the book. But in the interest of time, Howard, tell us a little bit about Lucy and Desi. Well, when I auditioned, my wife at the time got the job. Then I auditioned, and I got it. For the Desilu Workshop. It was called the Desilu Workshop. There were 20. Yeah, which our friend Robert Osborne was in.

Bob Osborne was in. Oh. Bob Osborne. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. In fact, Howard worked with him. Yeah, Lucy used to like to train them.

Yes. She didn't like me, Lucy. Tell us why. I was the only one. I don't know. But she didn't like me, and she was, but she put me in a sketch. She would always tell me where the joke was, you know. That's a joke. I said was you know that's a joke I said I know that Lucy

and she'd say to me I want you to count when you have a joke I want you to count to three and then say the next line and I said Lucy what if the laugh lasts for six what do we do then you know so she was annoyed with me because I said, it's not television. You can't guarantee, you know, how much space there is and what you can fill it with. I said, you know, so I did a sketch with Carol Cook that was really wonderful. It was called Upper Birth. It's two lowlifes and Bob Bosborne played... Like an Edward Murrow? Yes, Edward Murrow and he interviewed us. I see. And we're two beer drinkers and you know just two lowlifes. But what were you saying about, you were talking about how Desi was a problem solver. I learned a lot about Desi Arnaz because people don't tend to talk much about him.

Desi was brilliant. And he could straighten things out immediately. I remember there was a sketch that wasn't working well. And Lucy had asked him to come and look at it and he went okay don't do the phone bit forget about going to the door do this do this boom boom boom and the sketch came together you know and he was able to do that and then Lucy wanted we did a Christmas show and Lucy wanted, we did a Christmas show, and Lucy wanted to say goodnight to each kid. So she said to the cinematographer, I'd like to have all the kids lined up at the end of the show,

and I want to walk by and say each their names and say goodnight. And he said, well, Lucy, they're all different heights. The camera's going to go up and down. So she's now pouting. She's doing her Jackie Cooper, you know, lip out. Oh, jeez! And so Desi appears, and he says, Lucy, what's wrong? She said, I want to do this thing with the kids and say goodnight to all of them,

but they said because they're different heights, they'd have to move the camera up and down. He said, what, are you kidding me? Get a bunch of apple boxes. Make them all the same size, and that's it. And he said to the cinematographer, what do I pay you for? He was a problem solver. Now, here was a creepy story. When you were working on the Red Fox show.

Yes. And you used to have a girl, like a page or something, to bring him whatever. Yeah, my PA. My PA. Yes. And tell us what happened there with this poor girl she would give I would give him a note and I'd ask her to bring the note to him and every time she went to his dressing room he was nude and loaded on coke and he would and he would grab for her, you know? Look, let him among you who is without sin cast the first stone.

Gilbert's nude and snorting coke now, but he's not black. And she, oh, go ahead. Well, she finally came to me after the second time and she was raising a child on her own and she said, I can't do this, I have to quit because I'm not going to go through this, fighting my way out of his dressing room. And I was really pissed at him for doing that.

So we didn't get along very well, Red and I. And he went to the producers, and they called me to the office and said, Red says you don't respect him and i said that's the first time he's been right all week wow oh man we heard a lot of stuff like that about red fox tell one one more thing about lucy that that steve reminded me of uh in an email that he sent me you you respected her as a clown, as a physical comic, but beyond that, you didn't really think she had a sense of humor. She didn't. She had no wit.

And I spoke to Carol Cook about it, who was her best friend, who lived with her, lived in her house, and I said, you know, I don't think Lucy had a sense of humor. She said, you're right. She had no... You said a joke, she never got it. But as a clown... I love that. But Groucho had the same observation once. It was, I remember one lunch where Hal Cantor came to lunch, and Hal had been working with Lucy on something, and Groucho said, you know, she's not a humorous person and it was like well you know

here she was the queen of comedy how can you say that and he made the same point that she didn't get the joke she didn't she wasn't a witty person but she could play comedy brilliantly yeah physical comedy interesting yeah so interesting what What's the story about Jules Podell at the Copa running a foul or the other way around of Ricky Lane and Velville, the ventriloquist? Oh, my God. Who Paul Schaefer has brought up on this show. Ricky Lane and Velville were at the Copa, and they were backstage, which was the kitchen, and they're waiting to go on, and they got bored. So Ricky decided to have the dummy, you know, interact with the waiters.

So he says, you, you, yeah, the little fat guy with the bald head. He said, why don't you put some food on a plate and bring it out there. The people are hungry, you moron. You, the tall guy with the glasses, get your thumb out of the soup before you bring it out there. And in walks Padel, the owner. And he says,

what's going on here? The legendary Jules Padel. Yes. And the dummy says to him, hey, tough guy, mind your own business. With this, he backhands the dummy. The dummy's head goes flying off. It's rolling on the floor.

He follows it. It hits a wall and stops. He leans over and says to the head, you talk to me like that again and I'll kill you. Which is not, which kind of dovetails into your story about Waylon Flowers and Madam. Oh, yeah. I was doing a show called madam with whalen flowers and whalen would always oh yeah you were directing yeah and whalen would always have

madam talk answer questions i i talked to whale and say whalen i need you to do this and this and he and madam would answer so and i would never look at madam i would lock eyes with whalen so he said to me one day why don't you talk to madam i said because she's a fucking dummy that's why and then there wasn't there a teleprompter the teleprompter oh yeah yeah one day Waylon is she's doing Julia Childs so she's at the counter and she's stuffing the chicken

and Waylon is below with a little monitor and the script and I say to the camera operator widen the shot he widens the shot and I see to the camera operator, widen the shot. He widens the shot and I see a kid there with cue cards for madam. He's holding cue cards for the dummy. Jeez.

And on Mork & Mindy, on Mork & Mindy, Robin Williams worshipped Jonathan Winters. And he brought him on the show, and that was kind of awkward. Some great Mork & Mindy stories in the book. Like, I think Jonathan Winters resented. He liked being working on the show, but he resented that, yeah, He liked being working on the show, but he resented that, yeah, that Robin was getting all of the credit, all of the adulation. Yeah, he kind of resented the fact that Robin had surpassed him, you know.

And Robin was a great actor. And the reality was Johnny was Ohio. Every character he did was Ohio. Robin was the world. You know, he was just... And I felt that he did somehow resent Robin a little bit. And Robin, that was when Robin was going totally nutty with drinking and drugs well didn't he refuse to say the catchphrases at a certain point he didn't want to say shazbot or nanu nanu or any of that shit anymore he wouldn't say yeah he wouldn't say them and i i said to him

well just why don't you just say him when you're angry? That would give you an excuse. Or just say him to Pam, you know, then that would make sense. But I couldn't get anybody, everybody was afraid of him. said to me that you were the only one he would listen to. And I said, why? She said, because you weren't intimidated by him. And so I was able to talk to him, but nobody would join me. You know, when I when I try to get him to say, no, no, no, I said, just say it to Pam, because that's personal, you know. And I would go to Gary, I went to uh bruce johnson who was the exec none of them would join in no interesting yeah and and he was getting out of control he was hot to because of all the craziness well because of the coke and the drinking. But I had him. I controlled him. He somehow respected me and he was afraid I would leave the show because I remember once saying to him, oh, I remember saying to him once, you know, you're working at 75 percent. The audience doesn't know it, but I do. And consequently, the show becomes mediocre,

and my work becomes mediocre. So if you don't give me 100%, I'm out of here. And he said, no, no, Papa. No, Papa. I'll be good. I'll be good. He was like a child. He was a delightful child and the most generous human being I've ever met. That's a big loss. It's a great talent. Gilbert, you got to know Robin a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember I was about to go on at the improv and he was big for Mork and Mindy and he stepped in. So immediately the club said, you know, forget Gilbert, get Robin up there right now. And Robin said to them, I have some people here to see me, but I'd like them to see Gilbert first. Wow. Yeah. High praise. And he let me go on ahead of him. Wow.

So sweet. Yeah, that was who he was we will return to gilbert godfrey's amazing colossal podcast but first a word from our sponsor we would be remiss uh if we didn't ask you one thing at least about broadway danny rose because the idea for this show came a little bit from the idea of a bunch of guys sitting around talking and in your case in the Carnegie but how did it all come together well I got a you had history with Woody obviously yes but this is so weird I get a call from Woody's office. Mr. Allen would like you to do his movie.

I said, what's the name of the movie? I'm sorry, but I can't reveal that. I said, well, can I see some pages? I'm sorry, but we can't do that. So she said, do you want to do it? I said, do you want to do it? I said, okay. So I get on a plane, and I'm seated next to Sandy Barron, who turns to me and says, you know, I'm going to New York to do Woody Allen's movie.

So I don't say a word. And we get to New York. We get to New York. We get to New York. They have us up at the Essex Hotel. In the morning, a car comes for us, takes us two blocks to the Carnegie. And we both walk in. And Sandy's looking at me like, what are you doing here? You know?

And we just sat around a table. But the beauty of it was we stayed at a hotel up the street and we were sent lox and bagels and cream cheese and everything you can imagine. And all the comics that knew we were in town came to visit us. So we were telling stories and laughing, and then they said, we need you on stage. And we walked a block and a half to the Carnegie. So we had already prepared by telling all the stories and all. We were just really up.

And then Woody, we're talking, and Woody tried to get our attention, you know. And everybody turned to him and said, Woody, please, we're talking here. And when Luke Canova leaves Danny Rose, was that loosely based or not so loosely based on Harry Belafonte leaving Jack Rollins most probably because wow you know who was Woody's manager and your manager yes and well Harry and he's in the scene too Jack Rollins of course he's in the Carnegie scene yeah he Rollins was the best I mean it was no better He and Charlie Jaffe were the best managers in the business, I thought. And, uh, well, he was, he went on the road with Harry. They, he stayed in the black hotels with Harry in those days. They shared a room. He would bring boxes of food to Harry's family.

And Harry went to a psychiatrist, a woman, who told him to leave Jack and sign with a husband who was a lawyer. And Harry left him. Wow. And broke his heart. Really broke his heart. It broke his heart. Really broke his heart. I heard Jack Rollins was the one who came up with the whole idea of Harry doing Calypso.

Yes. Yes. Because Harry was singing jazz. He was working in jazz clubs and singing jazz. And Jack said to him, you're from the islands. Why don't we do Calypso? And came up with the idea of the outfit and the songs. And Jack wrote one of the songs on the album. Wow.

Yeah. And you are now the last surviving cast member from those Carnegie Deli wraparound scenes. Well, Woody's around. No, I mean the actors in the scene. Jack's gone. Will's gone. Corbett Monica's the scene. Jack's gone. Will Jordan's gone. Corbett Monica's gone. Will Jordan's gone.

Morty Gunty. Will Jordan. We had Will Jordan here. Yeah, Jackie Gale. Jackie Gale is gone. Sandy Bowne. You're right. They're all gone.

You're the last of the Mohicans, my friend. That's right. Last man. Steve, how did you meet Woody and become friends? Woody? No, I mean, Steveve i'm asking how did i meet woody yeah yeah i met woody through cavit uh i was living in new york writing for dick cavett at hbo and i had was a lifelong woody fan but i was afraid to meet him because i was afraid i would

have nothing that would be remotely of interest to him and maybe it's best to admire him because I was afraid I would have nothing that would be remotely of interest to him. And maybe it's best to admire him from a distance. So Dick Cavett called me one day and he said, I noticed that Woody is shooting his new film down the street. So I thought if you came over, we could just sort of happen on him and then you could meet him and I said he's not gonna mind and he said oh I didn't say that he may very well say really Dickie I wish you hadn't hitting the teeth so I thought well that's great I was already nervous and now he's saying there's no guarantees that come with this but I took the crosstown bus over to Cavett's place and we walked in and they were shooting a scene from a movie that would eventually be called Hannah and Her Sisters. And it was the scene where a flashback scene with Woody and Mia going to see a doctor

where they learn that they can't have children. And Cavett waved me forward from down the hall and I joined them. And he knew, Woody knew about me because Woody, because Cavett would tell him about this guy he knew that worked for Groucho. And after Groucho died in 77, and I thought Cavett would lose touch with me because I wasn't a pipeline into the Marx household anymore. Kavik called me from New York and said, listen, I hope just because Groucho's gone, we're not going to lose touch. And by the way, I hope you don't mind, but I've shown some of your letters to Woody. And he says they're very well written. So I had to empty the urine out of my shoes at that point. But the you what kind of guy Dick is. But the initial meeting with Woody was memorable for how unmemorable the conversation was.

It was just four people talking fairly comfortably amongst themselves. And then when I moved back to L.A., we started a correspondence, Woody and I, that's now pretty, I don't know, I might have like 65 or 70 letters from him spanning decades. And he's always been very supportive of me. He's been a real mensch. And he was crazy about Raised Eyebrows, My Years Inside Groucho's house. And he loves the Howard book that I co-wrote with Mr. Storm. Matter of fact, we had sent him the manuscript so we could get this wonderful blurb for the back of the book. And then once the book itself was printed, we sent him a copy because we figured, you know, it's the least we could do and it's got pictures and all that stuff. figured, you know, it's the least we could do, and it's got pictures and all that stuff.

And I got a letter from him last week, and he said, thanks for the book. I really look forward to reading it again because it's so damn entertaining. You two guys really aced this one. Oh, that's nice. Wow, that's nice. Can we put that on the back of the book, too, you know? That's nice. Now, Howard, you're also a Marx Brothers fan. Did you ever ever see the marks brothers live by the way and working out material no i

would have loved to have but i yeah i never did no do you worry uh steve do you do you as as what he so uh articulately says in radio days that the voices get dimmer and dimmer with each passing year do you worry you worry that people are gonna forget them? Well yeah and I'm reminded... Future generations won't appreciate them the way we do? Well they don't. I mean there's many times when I'll tell people who I worked for and they have a look on their faces as if I were speaking Swahili. They cannot place the Marx Brothers or Groucho. And I have to kind of rewind and say, well, they were this comedy team and they were in the 30s and the 40s.

And, you know, nothing's ever as funny until you explain it to them. And then, of course, heels of laughter. See, that still shocks me that people don't know. That still shocks me that people don't know. Every now and again, someone will say, my nine-year-old granddaughter was watching Monkey Business and she thought Harpo was funny. And it's like, okay, then there is still hope that some future generations will appreciate them. it's weird because when I was working for Groucho, all of his peers, all the writers and stuff, saw me as this young whippersnapper because I was like 20 years old. And they thought it was kind of cool that I knew all about them and the films they had written and all those comedy acts and stuff. And we weren't all just pot smoking rock and roll hippies. And now I've become one of those people whose hearts cockles are warmed

when they hear that there are younger people that appreciate the Marx Brothers and old movies. And at least we have TCM and Blu-ray and things like that. But I've gotten past being shocked when people don't know who certifiably legendary people are that just don't register at all on their radar Fred Astaire and well we're trying our damnedest here to keep to keep it alive there's a there's a million great stories uh in in the book uh Howard that we're not going to get to this time. There's their pigmeat Markham story, Richard Pryor story, Jackie Leonard, your relationship with the late, great Valerie Harper. And by the way, people will have to get the book to read about the stand that you took, the brave thing that you did for Valerie and for the truth.

He was blacklisted for his courage. Blackballing you and hurting your own career. But I wanted to wrap up with this, and that was you getting to perform on the Merv Griffin Show years later with your own dad. Yeah. Oh!

And how did that happen, and what was it like? Well, I suggested to Merv, I said, you know, it might be interesting to do two generations of comedy and bring my father on and we'll do a burlesque sketch together. I'll do straight form. And Merv loved the idea. So we did it. We did about three or four of them.

And the first time we did it, my father hadn't worked. He was 70. He hadn't worked in 15 years as a performer and and he'd never been on television he walked on like he owned it I mean I was in shock because I was worried that he would get thrown by the cameras and everything. He was very comfortable, and the piece went great. We did 18 minutes. Wow.

Try doing that on a talk show now. Yeah. Wow. What did you do? What was the bit? We did a bit called Joe the Bartender. And getting into the bit, we did a quick little piece about where he says, you know, I'm an inventor. I said, well, what have you invented? He said, I invented a wristwatch. I said, the watch, that was invented years ago. He said, I know, but my watch is very

different. I said, what's different about your watch? He said, my watch has no face, no works, no handles. I said, well, how do you tell the time? He said, you ask somebody. The book is wonderful. By the way, Howard, I did a little research, and you did a lot of Merv Griffin appearances as a solo between 65 and 67. You were on with Toadie Fields, Xavier Cougat, and Charo. Keenan Wynn.

Another theme show. Your old pal Zero Mostel. Jackie Mason, Richard Pryor, Hugh Hefner, Eli Wallach, Phil Spector, and last but not least, Georgie Jessel. Yeah. Any single memory of any of those people? Yeah. Georgie Jessel and i had an argument he because it's already it was during the vietnam war and he was pro the war and he

came on in a uniform a soldier's uniform and he started to talk up the war. And I said to him, you're sitting here in a toy uniform, you know. I said, you know, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? You're not going out there and getting shot. You're sitting here with a toy uniform on. And he was so pissed at me. Who do you think you are coming here insulting the wonderful brave men and women in uniform you sawed off little well i'm not going to say it in front of all these people there's a lot of people in the book but my my one of my favorite parts of the book is all the people that you run afoul of which will add'll add Jessel. You have some problems with Buddy Hackett, some problems with Jackie Leonard, Richard Pryor, Lucy we talked about, James Comack. People are going to have to get the book, or you'll come back another time and tell us more.

But it's chock full of great stories like that. The Sinatra story is very touching. that great what the Sinatra story is is very touching say one one thing about your friend Valerie Harper who we just lost she was like Robin the most generous human being I've ever known and as an actor she was the most generous person you know she would stay till two in the morning reading lines offstage for the actor in her scene. And we'd say to her, Val, why don't you go home? We'll have someone else read it.

No, no, no. I'm in the scene with him. He has to hear my voice. You know, it was just an amazing, she was an amazing woman. Yeah. I met her a couple of times and she made it she made an impression on me yeah she was very special another great loss yeah well gentlemen what happened to stoliar he left i guess he has to pee i think he had a pee. Steve, come back to say goodbye. I'll say goodbye on his behalf.

I thank you both. It was great fun. We're going to sign off. Hang on, Howard. Okay. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre and we've been talking to a perfect guest for this show. And I use this cliche a lot on the show that we barely scratch the surface but we barely scratch the surface guys so get get the book because you love this show you love old Hollywood this story is is this book is just packed with them and we we could keep going

with you howard we've been talking to howard storm and his book is the perfect storm the imperfect imperfect storm the imperfect storm we were talking to howard we were talking to howard storm Talking to Howard Storm. And the book is The Imperfect Storm, From Henry Street to Hollywood, by Howard Storm and Steve Stoliar. Indeed. Howard, you're my new hero. Well, thank you. And our listeners are going to love this. Okay, let's go out with a little Dooling Grouchos. Well, I don't understand what you're asking of me.

Do you want me to challenge Mr. Godfrey? It's not our thing. Well, am I supposed to talk like you, or are you supposed to talk like me? Exactly. I can't figure out what this Santa Padre fellow is asking of us, but I think it is probably more than either of us is capable of combined. I don't know why he had to say that at that point in the show. I was ready to sign off.

I don't understand. We're way over time here, which means you get paid time and a half for the overtime that you're working here. You know, I could have ended the show an hour ago. I thought you did. I had to go take a leak at one point. I forgot how to pull my penis out of my face. Go home. You've peed enough.

Thank you, guys. Thank you. We love you. Thank you.