Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Jeff Ross and Dave Attell

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday of comedian, producer and Roastmaster General Jeff Ross (b. September 13th) by revisiting this frequently hilarious 2019 interview with Jeff and fellow comedian Dave Attell. In this episode, the boys talk about performing in the age of political correctness, using comedy as a teaching tool, their favorite lesser-known stand-ups of the ’50s and ’60s and their Netflix series “Bumping Mics” and “Historical Roasts.” Also, Aretha Franklin flips the bird, Jeff takes down Jerry Lewis, Dave gives props to Steve Martin (and Rod Serling) and the boys remember the never-aired New York Friars Club roasts. PLUS: “The Omega Man”! Uncle Miltie whips it out! Gilbert boards the Maxi-Bus! Dave launches a new series! And Jeff pays tribute to the late, great Don Rickles! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600. BedMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. TV, comics, movies, stars, hit singles and some toys. Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic. So here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal Classic

Hi, this is Gavin McLeod listening to the amazing Colossal Podcast with the one and only Gilbert Scott Shreve? colossal podcast with my cohost, Frank Santopadri. Our guest this week is back for a return... Gilbert, slow down. This is torture.

Yes. Have some fun with it. Have fun with it, Gil. I've known you for years. Read from the heart. You want me to start crying in the middle of it? I'm going to start crying. Yes.

Our guest this week is back back for an engagement on this podcast Who could it be? Yeah, I don't know All right, should we do it as a contest? He's a producer director writer occasional actor and one of the funniest most fearless stand-up comedians of his Generation. Ooh, this is gonna be good. Ladies and gentlemen, Yakov Shmurin. Oh, wait a minute. And as an actor, you've seen him in movies like American Dreams, National...

I'll cut this. National Security, the Adventures... You were in the adventures of rockin boy boy I couldn't even get into that piece of shit that's that that shows where my career you couldn't get into it or you couldn't get into it I yeah both yeah Yeah, both. Also, along came Polly. I got cut out of that. Oh, OK. That's the worst intro. We'll cut this out.

The best worst intro I've ever had. Sorry. The Emojo movie. Emoji. The Emoji movie. The TV show Swedes, Greg the Bunny, Children's Hospital, American Dad, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Sneaky Pete and Crashing,

he also co-wrote the screenplay for the recent feature The Comedian. He said five years ago. Yes. Starring Robert De Niro, Danny DeVito and me, Gilbert Gottfried. And that's not all, my friends. You've also seen his memorable performances in the Comedy Central roast of everyone from Pamela Anderson to Bruce Willis. I've been in a few of those. And he's starred in several of his own terrific specials, including including Jeff Ross Roast America, Jeff Ross Roast Cops, Jeff Ross Roast Criminals, Jeff Ross Brazos County Jail. What was that? Brazos Brazos Idol Live. Jeff Ross Roast Criminals live at Brazos County Jail. Live!

Ah, fuck it, no one's paying attention. As well as the series, Jeff Ross presents... This intro is longer than my career. ...Rose Bottle and Bumping Mics. Which, Bumping Mics I was on. He got some of those right. Okay, co-starring our one-time podcast guest, Dave Attell. He's also the author of the very funny memoir, I Only Roast the Ones I Love, which I believe is still available from a Jamaican guy selling used books outside the Port Authority. His brand new Netflix series is called Historical Roast and also features yours truly in the role I was born to play Adolf Hitler.

Please welcome back to the show a guy who never fails to make us laugh and a man who once asked Courtney Love if she gave free donkey rides to the bottom of her vagina. I did say that. Our pal, Jeff Ross. Wow, great to see you guys. Thank you so much, Jeff, for that beautiful introduction. I feel so welcome. It felt like Gilbert was reading a hostage letter.

That's about the size of all of his reads. I forgot about some of those credits. Yes! I have stuff I'm way more proud of than the nonsense you mentioned. What would you like to mention that you're more proud of? You're proud of those roast specials, the cops, the prison one? I am, those I love very much. Yeah, I watched the one you did at the border, which was great. Oh yeah, Jeff Ross roasts the border. Very touching. I went down to the southernmost part of America. Brownsville, Texas.

Yeah. And I roasted immigrants as they crossed into America. Yeah. I had to get special permission from the mayor. It's a fun show. People should see those shows, and we'll talk about them as we go, but the cops one too and the one that Gilbert mangled, the criminals. Francis County Jail, Jeff Ross.

That really narrows it down, the one I mangled. Also great. And I was in a bunch of these things. You're always there for me, Gilbert. You always are. Yeah. Gilbert plays Adolf Hitler on my new Netflix show, Historical Rose. And I called Gilbert, it was one of the first calls I made when we were casting the show,

and he agreed before I even got the lure out. Gilbert, I need someone to play Hitler. I'll do it. Then he comes, he comes in, and I said to the costumer, Roger Forker, I said, Gilbert, Godspeed, is Hitler about the same size as Hitler, but I don't want him to be a glorious Hitler.

I want to see him in the socks. In the later hosens. The later hosens. I want it to be Gilbert's Hitler. Gilbert's Hitler. Gilbert has great legs and a great walk, so I thought we got to show off Gilbert has beautiful ankles. Yeah, it's like like Brando Stanley Kowalski.

Yeah, you just you don't want just any any Hitler. Yeah, he's played the part before. Yeah, I was in a movie where I did a small part as Hitler, Any Hitler. Yes. He's played the part before. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, I was in a movie where I did a small part as Hitler. Highway to Hell. Yeah. And in Highway to Hell, it was funnier in the credits than it was in the movie.

This time it was funny. This time you, to use maybe a poor word, murdered. It was such a good view, really. And Gilbert came to rehearsal. He got there before the camera people. He was so excited. The first thing, the lighting guy in the costume where they put the armband and the mustache on Gilbert to make sure everything fit for the... And that was it. Gilbert didn't take it off until he left on the airplane. Did he make a beeline to craft services?

He did everything as Hitler, he rehearsed as Hitler. He's, it was wonderful. He really got into character. And I think if Hitler saw it, I think he'd probably be really proud. You and Bruno Gans are the definitive Hitlers. Yes, and yeah, it was the roast of Anne Frank. How did you feel when you were looking like Hitler?

What did it make you feel like? Finally in my element. As a Jewish person, did you have any sort of mixed feelings about doing the role? None. None. None. That's the way I operate. Mel Brooks used to talk about revenge through ridicule.

This is how the Jews take on the Nazis. Yeah. We mock them. Oh, and he did a lot of it. He did a lot of it. Yeah. Hitler on ice. I'm proud of the work we did.

I think it came out great. Yeah, I did too. I think you should the work we did. I think it came out great. Yeah, I did too. I think you should win a German Emmy. Let's give a nod to John Lovitz as FDR. Yes sir. Wonderful. And Fred Willard played God and Rachel Feinstein of course played Anne Frank. And I played myself as a Jewish comic during the Nazi occupation.

Yes! You were wearing one of those old suits with the Star of David on it. Right. And it made me, it made me, it gave me a certain seriousness. I didn't, I wasn't silly about it. I didn't have to, you know, it made me feel like comedy's important

and what we say is important as comedians. I didn't want to be cavalier about wearing that Jewish star of David. I wanted it to mean something. And I'm not even a religious person, but you know, and this is our world, Gilbert. This is our arena. We don't make films.

We make, sure, roasts. And there's no very few documentaries or movies about Anne Frank anywhere. I couldn't find any even to show my writers for research. There's the diary of Anne Frank. You only have the diary of Anne Frank. And as a resource. So, and it gave me great pride to see my writers who were young, my Vietnamese writer taking home a copy of the diary of Anne Frank and coming back the next day with a million ideas and jazzed about it and completely all in on her story. So we talk about the Holocaust, we say never forget.

We got to know about it. The younger generation has to know about it for us to really for the story to go on for a cautionary tale and one of your writers thanked me a bunch of times during the show but playing Hitler on it and the reason was that his grandmother was a camp survivor. Right. Interesting. He thought this was so important. Right. Like to make a fool out of Hitler.

Right. And that she survived and, you know, Hitler's being laughed at. That's Eddie Firth, who was one of the originators of the historical roast. And his grandmother, Molly, I believe her name is, wrote a book and she survived. And his family is very proud of the work, proud that his show took on this thing.

And I think it's, if you could say, why would you roast Anne Frank? Well, how could you not? Yeah. What am I going to roast someone, something I don't care about? This is perhaps one of the people I care about the most in the world. Her book changed the way I think about humanity. And, and that writer kept thanking me throughout the whole production. Yes.

It was so important for him. Yeah. Also, I want to mention the Lincoln roast with our friend Bob Saget. Oh, yeah. And Stamos as John Wilkes Booth. Really fun. And who was the comic who was playing Harriet Tubman?

She was great. That's Yamanika Saunders. Hilarious. She's one of our writers and a dear friend of mine. Really funny. Yamanika really attacked that Harriet Tubman ride. She was wonderful. She was great.

I hung out with her on Memorial Day. She took me and a bunch of us on a excursion to the Staten Island ferry. She likes to ride the ferry on national holidays. It's free, it's fun, it's patriotic to go past the Statue of Liberty. So Yamene could definitely lead us around Staten Island, the Hudson River, the way Harriet Tubman led those people out of slavery.

Great job by everybody. And one thing I'm proud of, and I think you are too, you're already getting in trouble for these roasts. I might have seen something about that online. Well, I mean, anytime you take on things that are sacred, if it doesn't offend somebody somewhere, it's not funny. It's probably not funny. So you have to, I feel it's my responsibility.

If you're uncomfortable watching a roast of Anne Frank or Martin Luther King Jr., which we do, follow that discomfort. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself. Maybe you'll learn something about other people. What's wrong with being uncomfortable? What was Carlin's line that you like to talk about Gilbert? Oh, the job of George Carlin said it's the duty of a comedian To find out where the line is drawn and deliberately cross over it, right? comics without borders

Yeah, I like that. What does your t-shirt say right now? When you're wearing a t-shirt, I'm offended by people who are always offended Everyone's offended in the internet age because everybody has a bully pulpit now. We talk about it. In the old days, you had to write a letter. People are trying to get mad. They want to be offended because they know that they have a better punch down at you. Absolutely. They're waiting for you to say anything where they can

have the one in the chamber set to go to fire back. It also gives them access to the conversation, to what's going on. Right. And if you don't answer these ideas, by the way, people who might be complaining that the Holocaust should not be mocked, they're probably right. I agree with them. Yeah, this is not the perfect way to learn about this, but I'm the only one talking about Anne Frank.

That's all I got. That's all I got. Yeah, this is not the perfect way to learn about this, but I'm the only one talking about Anne Frank I'm sorry. I'm not on the evening news. Like this is my my thing Some would say these are There are survivors out there and these things are a trigger to them So, I don't know how many 90 year olds are watching our Netflix historical roasts, but I mean, does that mean any talk is a trigger? We laugh through the pain. If we don't laugh, we cry.

It's been a long time since the Holocaust. This is how we're gonna learn. I can't expect my teenage nephews to go to the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam to learn about the Holocaust. Not everybody could afford that. I'm talking to teenagers who are all over the country, all over the world with this show. So this is a way to at least get them curious enough

to Google Anne Frank or Martin Luther King or Muhammad Ali or some of the other people we talk about. You know, we talk about Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman in this show. These are names that adults are getting confused about who's who. It was strangely educational. Right. I realized this as I was watching it. So,

you know, to me, there's so much fake news, we talk about fake news, that's going to evolve into fake history. I felt an obligation to give a people's history to every joke in the historical roadshow. There's six episodes. Every joke is based in fact. You know, it's a trusty narrator. based in fact, you know, it's a trusty narrator. And what's funny too is like, it is respectful. There's something like it's both extremely offensive and extremely respectful at the same time. Right, well that's what roasts are. Yeah.

It's a great device to be, it's like a pat on the back and a kick in the ass. You know what I mean? Speaking of laughter through pain, we were talking before we turned the mics on about the prison special that you did, which I watched with my wife, which is absolutely fascinating.

Thank you. Particularly the part where you were performing for the women, the incarcerated women, and how you bonded with these people. Well, this is a show I did a couple years ago, and I had been trying for a long time to get access to maximum security jail or prison. And everybody said no, but there's a jail in Texas,

Brazos County jail, where the sheriff and the jail administrators, they have a lot of autonomy over their jails, and they saw the good in bringing in an entertainer, and they asked for a month notice so that they could use it as good behavior. In other words, you had to behave yeah in order to see my show and When word got out in the jail that I was doing a show for the guys the women obviously They wanted the same incentive they wanted to say they had a show and this wasn't part of the plan I was always up for it They wanted to say they had a show, and this wasn't part of the plan.

I was always up for it, but there were security issues with how to make that work. Of course. And to put all the women in one room at the same time is not their normal routine. So I did an off the cuff. I was looking at all the solitary confinement cells and doing sort of the documentary part of the special and the jail administrator at the time, Wayne Dickey said, the women seem to be really super jealous that you're doing a show for the guys.

How do you feel about doing a show for the women in half an hour? Okay, well, I worked months on my act for the guys. You pulled it off. So I went into the women's jail and you can see this if you watch the special. And I did it like a nightclub performance. It wasn't social commentary. It was barely a roast until I said stuff like, you know, you know, you

know, if they were all upset about all wearing the same outfit. Yeah. You know, like some easy jokes, but um. Oh, there was the pregnant woman. The pregnant woman in the front row. Big Mama Joe. Big Mama Joe. Yeah.

Yeah, there were a lot of characters. They were really into it. So it became an easy, almost like a nightclub show, and I brought women up and roasted them one at a time, and some heartbreaking stories, and they all had a pretty good sense of humor. And then afterwards, Wayne told me that the women were buzzing for weeks afterwards,

because no one had talked to them as women in a long time. It was a humanizing experience and a normalizing experience for the ladies in the jail. So yeah, it was a cool way to bring roasting into the incarceration world, which is something that I'm always really curious about. I love that they put the murderers up front. In the front row.

That was a security thing. Where are my murderers at was your opening line. Yeah, I asked them where the really dangerous people were and they said they'd be up front. Wayne said they'd be up front because it was easier to get them out if something happened. And I said, my opening joke, I said, where my murder is at? And three guys in the front raised their hands. And I remember one time you came over to my house because I was a guest on your podcast. Right.

And you brought my two kids on. And while they were on with you they were saying oh you know you're not funny daddy's funnier than you're right and I remember your reaction which was you've got a big smile on your face and said you're roasting me yeah well it's the my podcast is called thick skin with Jeff Ross and it's about that it's the, my podcast is called thick skin with Jeff Ross. And it's about that. It's about taking a joke. You got to have thick skin, especially me. If I dish it out, I'm required to take it.

I mean, otherwise I'm a hypocrite and I am sensitive the way we all are. And also additionally delighted me to see your son understand as a boy, an eight year old, a nine year old, a 10 year old, what roasting is. Cause now I go, Hey Gilbert, you know, like this shit was corny when I was a kid. Now it's cool. Right. Like we didn't, I didn't, I didn't know from that stuff as a kid, it was like, it was funny to see some of the old time comics on Johnny Carson and stuff like that.

Of course, that was a big influence to me. Obviously love that type of humor. But when I first started doing the roasts, they were antiquated. It was like saying, I joust or I know Latin. It was a saying, I joust or I know Latin. It was a lost art. And through a lot of hard work and love, like roasts are more popular than they've ever been. And not only that, like boys and girls will roast a bully.

That makes me so happy. I always saw roasting as a form of self-defense. I studied karate as a kid. When I was your son Max's age, I was already probably a brown belt in taekwondo. So I understood the power of being quiet. I understood that, you know, you could let a bully mouth off and then at a certain point you could shut it down to

Either with your words or with a good solid front snap kick was the kid you talk about in the book the one that would hide Around corners and oh yeah, you're in the crotch. Oh, yeah, was he a was he a catalyst? Yeah, or you know if you get picked on you you either break or you know It's like fight or flight right And you can only fly so many times till you have to fight back if you're gonna exist in an environment. And I don't know, I think roasting is sort of like that. I only roast volunteers and I only roast bullies

and the ones I love. If they're not gonna be there, I rarely talk behind people's back. I like to talk people to their face. While I nudge Gilbert awake, listen to these words from our sponsor. Are you speaking? This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot, but the rewards don't stop there. When you earn two times more points on things that matter to you and your business, easily

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Your kids know what a roast is, Gilbert? By name, I mean, you've never, obviously you and Darragh have not exposed them to the Comedy Central roasts. Yeah, but they kind of, they seem to just have a gut reaction like they were doing with Jeff. They understand it. You know, they were like insulting him and Jeff was real happy about it. Oh, I felt like I broke through.

Yeah, it influenced them. They kept insulting Jeff and it was like perfect. And now they'll, you know, that type of humor lives on and that makes us not forgotten. It makes us, it gives us a legacy, Gilbert. That type of humor, the roast humor, you know, roast battling, you know, that these roast battles that I do, they're all over the world now. They're in everywhere from Russia to Asia. They're in India. We have a roast battle on Mexican television, British television, Australian television,

French Canadian television. We do these roast battles. So roasting itself is like a new pillar of comedy. The way when improv got big, I think roasting is in a way, it's unlimited. If it's presented well, there's an ocean of appetite for it. There are great ones at the friars that we've all attended. You've been on them, Gilbert's been on them. The ones that were never televised. The Matt Lauer one comes to mind. I mean, really great stuff. The Jerry Lewis one. Really

great stuff that nobody will ever see. It's great that you were at all these roasts. I was. I was on the writing stuff. You're a real witness to my career. My early Friars Club career. Bill Sheft and Leopold and Amarose and I were writing on some of them. And a lot of those things, I mean, they're in-house for theriars, but other than, unless you were in that room at the Hilton, you'll never see those. A lot of them were as good as the Comedy Central was.

I remember they wrote a whole article about the Matt Lauer roasts. And they singled me out and said, among the horrible offensive roasties was Gilbert Gottfried saying offensive racist jokes about Ann Curry's genitalia. I remember it now. Did you? Yeah.

Yeah. I was doing loads of Asian jokes about Ann-Karis genitalia. I remember all of those. I missed those days. I do love those classic live afternoon. Oh, they were great. They were great. Do you remember the one that you told at the Lewis Joke, at the Lewis Roast?

You know the one, I mean, the one where you were told not to go after that particular subject. Can you share it? Of course. Jerry Lewis getting roasted he's probably you know 80. That point yeah. And you know I didn't know him very well, but he was obviously, you know, somebody I admired, a big comedy star, the Jerry Lewis Telethon growing up. Of course, he raised millions and millions and millions of dollars, and I watched it with my parents as a kid, and we saw entertainers raising money, doing good. It was a mitzvah, something I could understand, you know, a connection to show business. And they said, oh, you're doing a Friars Club roast. Jerry's excited. He's the new

abbot of the Friars Club. This is a big thing. You know, this isn't like somebody you're going to see once. This is somebody you're going to have to get to know. He's the new head of the Friars. And I really wanted to impress him him obviously, but they said, you know, one caveat, not a big deal. We know you would never do this, but he's very touchy about any jokes about Jerry's kids and disabled kids from the muscular dystrophy telethon. And of course I say, of course I would never do that. Now immediately in my head, it's all I could think about. You know, I got to, how

do I take it to the line? And how do I, how do I, how do I make the hair stand up on the back of his neck, but not piss him off? How do I let him know that I'm great and I should not be fucked with even though I'm some punk kid. I wanted to make him laugh, but I also wanted to let him know I was roasting him and that it was, that it was, I was, I was good at it. And, and, and, and I would earn his respect that way. And I talked about it a lot, like had a lot of great jokes about Jerry Lewis and sort of warmed him up. I said, you know, he was really big in France. Then again, the French don't even know when they

stink. A great one. There was also the Nathan Lane joke. Which one was that? Nathan and Jerry, he was on the dais. You said, Nathan and Jerry have a lot in common. They both started sucking in the seventies. And by the Jerry Lewis is sitting there. He's flanked by Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro.

Jerry's having a time of his life. It's all about him. A couple thousand people to New York Hilton. And I go on kind of late and they say something to the effect of, you know, Jerry, they've all been making fun of you, but what about the great things that you do? Not enough has been said about the great things that you do in your life. Like just last Labor Day, a six-year-old kid got up out of his wheelchair and walked for the first time to turn off the Jerry Lewis telescope.

As funny as it was then. And you just saw Jerry's shoulders tensing up as I milked it. And then when I got to the punch line, I have a picture. I'll have to repost it when this podcast comes out of just Jerry just losing it and De Niro covering his face, laughing and Scorsese's squirming in his seat. And you know, Jerry and I became friendly after that. That was also the infamous roast with the later, Rita Franklin. Oh, it's not the same moment Yes, same same night. She was fun. Yeah

Yeah, I said uh, I Said um, she sang the national anthem. She sang. I don't even think she's sung it. I think she's saying um America the oh, yes, you're right. You're right And I went up and I said, I never been to a show where the fat lady sings in the beginning. And she flipped you the bird. Yeah.

I remember the best thing Jerry Lewis ever said to me that I was, I I was I one thing honoring him or whatever and I did some really offensive long joke and he went up to me and it looked like he was offended at first and he said Gilbert you're out of your fucking mind and then he takes a pause and goes and I wouldn't want you any other way And I thought that's it. That's a true comic Yeah, you got him. I earned his respect, you know earlier than that But he didn't remember it was a he came to the improv comedy club in West Hollywood

And he looked at comics basically audition people to be on the telethon he wanted to break some younger comics and he really liked me and I got to do the telethon a couple times in the late 90s. I'd always wear the same tuxedo but put a different shirt on each year so I had no money. It was a free gig. Now what I loved about Gilbert at those fryer's roasts is how the writers would write for everybody else and everybody else would prepare material and Gilbert was so lazy and he would just get up and

say fuck it I'm doing my dirty joke CD. Nothing to do with the roasty. That's what Henny Youngman would do. Nothing to do with the guest of honor. I think it's a wonderful tactic to just be able to go up whenever you want and not have to worry about preparing. Yeah. It's like, yeah.

Henny young men used to go up those things and say, you know, I'm very happy to be here at the Georgia Jessel roast or rabbi walks into a bar. Gilbert, who was your favorite comedian growing up? Oh God, there were so many. They were like, and I liked those old guys who were all still around. Uh huh. Did you like insult comics like that? Were you into the dirty?

I did love Don Rickles and Henny Youngman I loved. You mean obscure old guys too, like Leonard Barr and those kind of guys and Leonard Cohen, Myron Cohen? Yo, Myron Cohen was terrific. Yeah. And there were so many like, you know, you could see both the old guys. You like Jackie Vernon too. Oh yeah.

And you could see both the old guys and what were considered the young guys who are now in their 90s. I miss, I feel like I miss not getting to see Jackie Vernon, Jackie Leonard, young Don Rickles. I would have loved all those guys. Well, how about some of the guys that used to kill at those Friars Roads at the Hilton that people may not know about like Dick Capri. Oh yeah. Who was always hilarious. Yes. Always brought in. Still. Freddie

too and Stewie. Of course. You know. I mean that's where I saw it all go down you know. Back then you when I first got asked to do the roasts you couldn't I couldn't google it I had to go to the Museum of Broadcasting and look up what these roasts were. I had no idea. So you see once that you don't have to just make fun of the Guests of Honor, you can make fun of the other comics there. I was so excited because then I got to riff with Buddy Hackett and Milton Berle and all these guys. And you made Danny Aiello cry.

We made Danny Aiello cry. Oh, tell us this one. Oh, you don't know this story? I'm sure I do. It sounds very familiar. Joy was the roast mistress on that roast. She hosted that, Troy Baevar. Yes.

It was just, you know, Danny Aiello, who I adore, great guy, phenomenal actor, it was a big moment. He had a new CBS show. De La Ventura. He was playing some sort of New York detective. And he was on every bus, every billboard in New York and we had a roast for him. You know, he's a friar and it made sense and all his friends and family were there.

And I said something like, you know, Danny Aiello's acting is so over the top that show should be called Ace Ace Delevingne Jura. And you know, the show had just come out. None of us had seen it. So we were just kind of joking that it was bad. But then the Bells went up. Richard Bells were went up with the actual New York Post and Daily News reviews that Danny obviously had not read that morning.

It was a great day. We were at the roast. It was only lunchtime. Oh, fuck. And Bells just verbatim read the reviews and Danny's hearing them for the first time. Oh, man. And that was it. That was it.

Then Danny made his speech and something hit him. He got very emotional. He says he was thinking about his dad and how his dad was missing this amazing day, but I really think it was the reviews. I used to hide in the back of the room and scroll those jokes down on a piece of paper, even though I wasn't supposed to,

because I knew that I would not see the tape and I would forget them. Right. And like we've talked about it on this show, bells are talking about Freddie Roman. Oh yeah. And like we've talked about it on this show. Bells are talking about Freddie Roman. Oh yeah. And that wonderful line. Remember it?

Jack Ruby had a longer TV career. Oh yeah. And I used to, when you were up there and I used to scroll on a little piece of paper and I hope nobody would see me, but I said these are going to get lost if I don't write them down and remember them. They were that good. It's funny. I mean, I remember watching the roasts when I was a kid.

And those were always very homogenized. And then you'd hear about these guys, these old guys like Jack Benny and stuff, at the actual Friars roast and how just foul and offensive they were. Right. And that was the appeal, right? You got to see Milton Burroughs say the C word and the F word and all this kind of stuff where you would never see that on Texaco Star Theater.

The NBC roasts were in part to promote NBC shows and NBC talents. So that's why you had Red Fox and Lawanda Page and all of these people would come in. They were network friendly. And it was always funny when they'd be roasting Orson Welles and like Gary Coleman would roast and then you go, what is the connection? Did you ever have some of the old comics give you a hard time for working blue? Yes, yes. That happens, right?

Yeah. And it's so funny, and I've talked about it here because there have been comics who I've spoken to off stage who'll tell me the most foul joke in the world and then I'll say hey can you repeat some of those jokes and They'll act like they They don't know what you're talking about Marty Allen did that to us on this show Really told us the filthiest most wonderful jokes and then Gilbert tried to get him to do it on mic and he wouldn't bite Yeah, here he is. He's like a hundred, but he's protecting his image. Well, he was still performing. Yeah.

Wow, that is crazy. Let's talk about another thing you guys have been doing together or not too long ago. Gilbert guested on a show on Comedy Central, the hilarious bumping mics. Bumping mics on Netflix. That was a lot of fun to do. Yeah.

Gilbert introduced us, David Tell and I, go on stage together and we do a two-man act. I don't even know if it's an act. It's a show, it's a hangout, it's a party, and we invite our friends. And I ask Gilbert to come by, and next thing I know, I show up at the venue and Gilbert's already on stage introducing us Nice work, Gilbert

If you like scissoring vaginas The funniest comedy team since Ike and Tina Turner's and then and then Gilbert stayed for the whole show and and The funniest comedy team since Ike and Tina Turner. That was great. And then Gilbert stayed for the whole show and it was just a treat because as much as I love Gilbert, Dave Attell is obsessed with Gilbert. It would be great if we had asked Dave Attell to come. Yeah, bumping mics was so much fun. We're gonna be in Vegas June 7th and 8th.

You and Dave. We're going to be at Harris SoCal the week after that. Okay. We're going to be at the Morongo Casino in a couple weeks. So this is the most fun I've ever had on stage. All roasts aside when Dave is around, it's like one plus one. You guys are great together. Uh-oh, what happened?

Somebody just came in. I think we have a guest. He really is my favorite comedian. Hello everybody. Hi Dave. Look at that. David Tell is here ladies and gentlemen. How did he happen to find the place? Nice.

Let's bump it up. Let's bump it up. Let's bump it up on the podcast. Dave sleeps under the table. Dave, get close to that mic, would you? Thanks, buddy. Wow. Great to see you, partner. Yeah, no, I was outside.

I was, now, it was a while before I came in here. Were you guys reading the Mueller report? Yeah. What were you guys doing? A lot of nodding and ah-hahs and your rights, but we should wait and see and I don't knows and. Yeah. We were so serious in here talking about bumping mics Yes, and I was talking before about your wonderful line about Gilbert

Oh, which one was that you said that Gilbert have you ever gone down on a on a live woman? Not one from your collection I think you're taking poetic license with that one. Gilbert and I think Jeff will back me up on this. When Jeff and I are together it's good. When Gilbert was there went to another level. Gilbert completed us I think in terms of in terms of what bumping mics could be. He really did. He's the third like at the triad. He is the third spoke and he really is that good. You're like when Joe Walsh joined the Eagles.

Wow Gilbert, the band had a little more kick to them. Yep, it really, it really kicked it into rock and roll from country and western rock. Thank you. None of that JD Souther shit. Yeah, so anyway, we want to make you a partner Gilbert. Yes. We're going to pay you in merch We just started up selling merch on the road everyone it's a whole new experience for us

Oh, that's a page out of his book get a bumping Mike's pin or Gonna bump Mike's with your own partner. Who would it be? Oh, that's good. Oh Oh, that's good. Oh. All right. Shaky? Yeah. That's a big Shaky. I have to say Tim Conway,

when I heard about that, I was like, that is the set. I wonder if Gilbert ever had him on the show. Did you ever have him on the show? We tried, we tried. He wasn't in good health. We tried. Yeah, so how about you and Tim Conway?

Do you think you can keep up with him? He is a master. Gilbert, did you walk in here wearing Bumping Mike's merch? Yes! I was wearing the cap. So it's already out. It's already available. It's available on Netflix. This is true.

Dave made 30 hats. Gabe won a Gilbert. I will say this, that since we, Jeff and I are really, we're into meeting the fans. We know there's a lot of comedy fans who come to the show, both the live performance and when we taped and that, you know, at the end of the show now, when we stand out there and we're hawking the merch, it's another experience because it's great to see these people. They don't only like us, they like a lot of comics and that's really what I think is a comedy fan like when they have like a Basically like a top 10 or like, you know, you know who I wish I could see and you know I heard the podcast about mitch headberg or other like guys who are no longer with us and I was like that's cool

You know and I love that. That's our fan base and and it's always great when someone will say to you I love that that's our fan base and and it's always great when someone will say to you You know my favorite comics are you and they'll name like two or three others and you go wow those are great Yeah, I mean a category with that is sometimes. It's the only two they can think of You are my favorite captain would comic with Charlie Chaplin and Jim Carrey. It is a real love vote of laughter. Jeff and I were in Atlantic City and I was trying to get you, I was telling Darret, like we gotta get you to come down to this gig. But you were on the road as well in Canada, I believe. Yeah.

For Memorial Day, which is awesome, I guess. I don't know why you have like a different road than we do or what do you do? You're on the road a lot. I don't know. It's like they say we'll pay you here and I just go Yeah, cuz I didn't know Megabus went to Canada Did you see the documentary of you? Yes, of course. Yeah. Well, he is getting on a Megabus and it was like one of the saddest most truest things about comedy, he's got a way too big a bag for the amount of time he's gonna be on the road. Like you're gonna be two days, maybe three days.

He's got like this gigantic bag, like you're an au pair and you're moving into someone's brownstone for the summer. It was so big and sad. I think Bill Burr says in the doc, what the fuck is he doing on the bus? Don't people recognize him? People say, Hey, is that Gilbert Gottfried? Your tour bus is in rehab. He also says, he also says in the documentary goes, but's people that are going, gee, I want

to use the bathroom with Gilbert Gottfrieds in there. How did bumping mics come together as a concept? Was it accidental? That's a good question, Jeff. It was not accidental as much as improvised. It was just an improvised fun way to get our yayas out late at night. Dave would have a spot or I would have a spot more often than not. I'd go right from the airport. I'd land back home in New York, run by the Comedy Cellar because I was hungry

or lonely. I'd go watch Dave and Dave would just bring me up. And we just started like sort of bumping it out. I would have a new joke to try out every once in a while Dave would always have a new joke to try out and Next thing we knew I was begging him to come up to Montreal. Actually, we did a couple tour dates We did a stop in Vegas. Yeah, I wanted to go on the road, but Jeff it's really like the whole I guess you could say the reason why I went to TV would be Because of Jeff because Jeff took what was just like kind of a fun like blow-off thing that we would do and he said you know this is definitely a show and I believe in it so it's really everything from the branding the

naming of the show to like bringing it to Netflix is all Jeff I'm just the other guy who was there when it comes to all that stuff because I really do think that like you know we were lucky to capture the kind of the fun of like anything could happen, because really that was like, what was so good about the seller experience is that it's late, people have already seen about eight acts,

and I always go on late for years there, like I just go on late, and it used to be because I was, you know, like kind of the worst guy there, and they would throw you on at the end. Now, it's more about like, you know, I got a lot of errands to run and then I need a nap. Then I'm going to go down.

And I'm old, I'm the old guy. And then- Dave's been moving all week, so I can't get him out of here. For years now, I've been moving for years. And the best part is that, you know, they're always cool with like letting us do whatever we want. And I think that the charm of that place is that

you never know what's going to drop by and you also never know what's gonna happen and whether it's a conversation on stage or like just working with the audience that it's kind of built for that it's a small tiny room and Gilbert is another good example of like you know I don't know if you know this but like his fearlessness is really what like I love about his thing on the bumping mics is that like you know Jeff doesn't have a filter you don't have a filter so it's really great to see you guys really open up on these young crowds especially like it kind of must blow them away you know

yeah I'm sure anything can happen at our shows even June 6th and 7th at the Mirage yes what we're hoping to happen would be some sold out shows that would be great anything can happen at our shows especially when they're at the morongo on June 14th the morongo that sounds like a great like you know then there was the morongo I will say anything can happen October 4th and 5th at the Paramount Theater that's a great that's my hometown that's a great venue Theatre in Huntington. Yes, that's my home town. That's a great venue. We played Jersey, that's Jeff's hood, but we're going to play Long Island.

Gilbert, you should come to that show. I'm throwing it out right now. You should open for us in Huntington. What do you think? All right. You don't mind taking a pay cut and an Uber to get there? Megabus. Oh, and we were speaking about merchandise before. And I remember when

you came and did the podcast at my house, you gave me a bunch of hats and t-shirts. And then you bought a bunch of t-shirts from me. Yeah, well, it was Christmas time. Gilbert had just done, Dave and I this gigantic favor so I've brought over a sweet a bunch of bumping mics you know stuff and and I went on my I went on Gilbert's website and bought 30 t-shirts from my friends very nice very sweet yeah people cherish those t-shirts this This is the one with his face on them? My cousin Aaron uses his to wash his car. Jimmy Kimmel, I gave him one. He uses it to, I don't know. This is the new shirt with Gilbert's face on it?

Yeah. The recent one? Do you guys remember seeing Gilbert for the first time? Unfortunately. Yes. Up close? Yes. Yeah.

Let's see, that must have been like five haircuts ago. Yes. Up close? Yes. Yeah. Let's see, that must have been like five haircuts ago. I think it was more of a... You still walk to Chinatown to get the five dollar haircut? Oh yeah. Okay, good. Now I get it. Just checking. Yeah.

He gave me a segue. I heard that your Chinese name is You Again. I'm sorry guys. These times with the tariffs and all the best we can do with these tariffs You guys revealed on bumping mics where you first met the two of you But do you really remember seeing him for the first time had to be the improv right I don't I don't even remember like when I was allowed to talk to Gilbert because he was a legend when I started uh-huh and I never really saw him at the clubs maybe a catch-arising star I saw you do a couple of spots or something like that but I never like every night you had

already moved on to that you were a TV guy you were a film guy and you did all that voiceover stuff so I think your club work in New York, you were too busy doing other stuff, right? So when I would see him, it was a huge deal. Like, oh, that's Gilbert. Gilbert's there. And then I was so into it. But it had to be in the 90s, I assume.

You remember, you have any memory of this? Oh. Of meeting these two guys? No, I try to block it out of my head. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Gilbert and I became better and better friends as the years went on.

Yeah, as both of our careers tanked. Yeah. We all. Like I said. That's how I remember Gilbert. I remember fun dinners with you and Saget and Norm McDonald. Oh, those were hysterical. I remember bringing John Stamos to see you

at Carolines on Broadway. John Stamos is a friend and he was on Broadway in, I think it was Chicago. He was starring in the play Chicago. And I brought my brother-in-law and John Stamos to Carolines for watching Gilbert. And this is about six, seven years ago. And Gilbert is up there doing Calista Flockhart is so skinny joke.

And Stamos is needling me going, hey, he's great, but you know, I saw him do these jokes 15 years ago, this same joke. And I go, dude, you're in Chicago, that place is 50 years old. It's a classic joke. You're in Chicago. That place is 50 years old. Good point. It's a classic joke. Mr. Flockhart's still skinny. He's still doing Norman Fell material from 78, from when I saw him at the old Carolines. Dave, Jeff raised an interesting question. He was asking Gilbert what comics he admired. Who, Gilbert?

Starting out. Same question for you, cause I'm curious. Were you one of these guys like Jeff that would sort of stay up to watch Rodney on Carson? Yes, you know, that was one of the first live shows I ever got to see was Rodney Dageville at the Westbury Music Theater. Yeah, I'll tell ya. In the...

My crowd. In the 80s when he was at his height. Maybe it'll be a big comic someday. I didn't get to meet him or anything like that. Hey, I see you out there in road Kids laughing a little too hard, you know, you know how now in the club Clubs everybody's doing, you know with the phones and all that recording But the guy sitting next to me had a pad out and I go what are you doing goes? I'm writing these down for tomorrow

I'm gonna use them at work. Really? Yeah, like hey, how was it? How was your how was your weekend Jim? You know my mother-in-law? No, I mean I mean my Forget it But yeah, it was so funny now you told a story Yeah, you are talking I guess out of Friar's thing and you went up to the podium and you are talking, I guess, out of Friar's Sink, and you went up to the podium and you are killing and Milton Burrow was shit. And tell us what's going on.

Oh, well, my very first roast ever, Milton Burrow was the roast master and we were roasting Steven Seagal. And I didn't really care much about Steven Seagal. I just knew I wanted to be up there with Milton Burrow and Buddy Hackett and Henny Youngman. And I had my one good suit on. It was my first roast. I worked really hard on it. I had pages of shit I had to go through.

I wanted to really just, and every time I got a big laugh, my opening joke was, a lot of you don't know me, but I feel uniquely qualified to be here today because I'm also a shitty actor. And Steven Seagal, you know, looked at me, he's the only one not laughing. And right when I got the laugh, Milton Berle poked me in the ribs.

He was sitting right behind me as I was at the podium. And I jumped up and it was kind of odd and the only person that had ever done that to me, poked me, was my canter during my haftura. And that was to like relax me and I was like, I don't need to be relaxed. I'm a professional comedian. Why is this old fart like touching me while I'm performing in front of 1,500 people at the Hilton in New York my first Friars Road and he gave me a terrible introduction too like

he just came from a convention from Las Vegas where he performed at a convention for lesbians with dildo rash And every time I get a laugh, he hits me. And finally I started engaging with him and going back and forth. And I said, I saw Milton. Milton, I saw you downtown today in an antique shop. He's like, oh yeah? I go, 1200 bucks.

And he starts coming after me and finally, buddy heck, it was like 30 feet down the dais. And he goes, he's off mic, he's just sitting, Milton, let the kid work, remember when you used to? And Milton ran down there and he kissed Buddy and the two of them, I said, between the two of them, they have over 30 years of homosexual experience. And then Milton came back and took over back to podium.

And I loved it. I was like riffing with the great ones. And afterwards I asked Milton, you know, Buddy said, go talk to Milton. We were back at the Friars Club having a drink and Buddy and I sort of, you know, we paled up right there. I loved him for sticking up for me. And I went to talk to Milton and Milton, I asked him why he was like poking at me. And he didn't really answer me directly, but he said, they only remember the home runs.

They only remember the home runs. And later I was like, I guess he means I went on too long or something. And Buddy later told me that it was because he was jealous. He would get jealous and he would just- Pete Slauson Interesting. John Ligato He would get jealous and he would just, interesting, he would be juvenile. He would just annoy people for no reason. And was he? So it's hard to know.

Either way, it was good advice. They only remember the home runs. I have a similar story with Sam Laurel. Instead of with his finger, I'm getting the business end of his cane, if you know what I mean. Now, a train was coming at us so we got off the track but there was another track and a train was coming the opposite direction. I was out front trying to restart the engine. I didn't realize you were that old. I'm very old, Jeff.

Yeah, Laurel. Yeah, I tell ya. Great podcast. Great podcast. Wouldn't that be great if Rodney was alive during all this podcasting? Can you imagine him like, how long is this going to take? Come on. I've got to get out of here. Supposed to be at the Sands. Before we jump off Milti, it's in the book, he did show you.

You are one of the select honored few who got to see it. I did see his penis. Tell us in detail. Yeah. This is for you, Gilley. Can't move on until you know. I haven't thought about this in a long time.

We're at the Fires Club in Beverly Hills. Milton was sort of in his wheelchair stage of his life. And I had just done a roast for Joe Torre, the Yankees manager, and Milton took a bow. And I said, look, Milton Burrell, he's like 90 years old and look, he has a wheelchair for his cock. So Milton didn't jump out of his seat and wave, but then he'd go back into the wheelchair and basically he was not really performing anymore. I would have lunch with him at the Friars Club like two times a week or so. I don't think he needed help getting to the bathroom.

I think he wanted to show me his cock. Walk me to the bathroom. Here's my big chance. You know, cause you have to remember, you know, his cock was legendary. Every roast there were a million jokes about the size of his penis. Right. And when I roasted Joe Tori, I would say stuff like Milton Burl's dick is so big it has a warning track.

He jerks off with pine tar. That's how big his dick is. You know, Milton obviously loved the attention, but you know, and I go to the bathroom with him and we're kind of side by side at the urinal. And, you know, I know this really sounds like a fruity story, but it really is a show business story. You know, he didn't say anything about it at all, but I just couldn't resist like side-eyeing, like getting a little glimpse. And I didn't even see the whole thing. I saw what seemed to

be like 40% judging by where his hand was. like I saw a little less than half of it and it was humongous Gilbert so envious. Can I have a question? So what did it taste like? That reminds me of when I saw a toady feels stumped. Now we were backstage at the Battle of the Network Store 72. Give me that one. Give it. We were backstage at the Battle of the Network Store in 72. Oh, God! Give me that one. Give it!

Tony Stump! I saw her stump in all its glory. Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! We bump podcasts, Mike. This is so much fun. Almost as much fun as the Mirage June 17th. Nice work.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why RSUVs won more 2024 IIHS Top Safety Picks than any other brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Transform and roll out! From the director of Toy Story 4, Buckle up! on September 20th, witness the origin of the Transformers.

This is going to change everything. Awesome! Transformers 1, only repeaters September 20th. Dave, did you befriend any older comics? No, Jeff has got like the, really, Jeff, no, he really, like we all, I wanted to be Sam Kinison, I wanted to be Bill Hicks. Right.

And Jeff, you know, when he got involved with the Friars, he basically revitalized that whole thing. He did, he did. And, you know, he would tell me, like, you know, like when I talked to him, I'd go, where are you? It's like, you know, I'm just gonna, whatever. He's like, Shackey Green's accountant died ahead of, get on a plane, you want me to do the eulogy.

I don't know if you remember. I don't know if you remember. He knows all these great names. I wish I knew them. You learn a lot from your elders. Absolutely, I agree with that. Yeah. Now, Gilbert, I gotta ask you,

you probably have met over your career, like, some people that we wouldn't even think of, like, who was your comic idol? Who was it? Oh, God, let's see. Well, I met Henny Youngman a couple of times. That was great. I loved Henny Youngman. Meeting Henny.

But I haven't, you know, I don't remember that many older comics I've met. Well, Jerry. Yeah, Jerry I met. That was, you know, amazing. And Hack that many older comics. I've well Jerry. Yeah Jerry I met that was You know and hacking hack it hack it. Yeah, the big four Jerry hack it burl. No, yeah Oh burl I met a couple of times. He was hysterical when we were on Bert Krishner's podcast Cooking show with Bert and birds very funny guy really cool. He also was super respectful to the legendary comic. He asked Gilbert who he worked with in New York in the 70s and all that kind of stuff and I said that you know Gilbert

knew him all and he said did he know Freddie Prince and I said of course he did he handed him a gun and said here's my gun and cocaine I'll be back in a few minutes and Bert's like is that real I'm like come on dude we do talk about those 70s comics I love them when you started we've talked about guys like that guys like Timmy Rogers and oh yes yes and I remember Gabe Kaplan when I was in my early, when I was a teenager at catch, Gabe Kaplan would go on and one of his bits was like, you know, there was this group of kids in a school

named the Sweat Hogs. Really? And yeah. And there was an annoying kid named horse shag that was his act yeah yeah so I'm doing on Carson yeah that's crazy that's pretty cool and of course in the act he would say and then they call them horse shit and I couldn't do that yeah did you meet Johnny Carson never no never had any connection with Carson and did you like

him more as a host or as a magician I like how people go you know he's a frustrated magician oh okay most magicians are frustrated you know were you guys Steve Martin fans in the day? Also a magician. My favorite. And what I like about Steve Martin is that, when you think about crowds and how crowds have changed, is that he had the other end of the kind of crowds

we have now, because now everybody's so sensitive in PC. His crowd, they basically were all high. Everybody was high, there aren't. Every kind of drug you can imagine. They were party people, you know, and that's just the crowd he had and you could hear it on those albums of like he can barely Set up the joke. Yeah, they're still laughing at the last joke and they're like just yelling at him same thing with Carlin and also What's his name? Albert Brooks like they had that kind of party crowd. They were more of a rock and roll crowd than today's crowd, that's for sure. Same problem the Beatles had.

Oh yeah. When they did comedy. They had to stop performing because the crowd was too, was too raucous. I feel like Dave and I. We don't have that problem. I feel like. We do not have that.

You can hear a pin drop. I'm not lying to you, Frank. I feel like that gig we did last week, I felt like we had like a rock crowd. Yeah, Bethlehem PA, that's our hood. Really? Yeah, that's our hood. I felt like we had like a rock crowd. Yeah, Bethlehem PA, that's our hood. Really? Yeah, that's our hood. I felt like we had a rock show vibe going.

That's not Amish country? I just, we just looked at the artwork and liner notes and stuff for the Bumping Mikes vinyl album that's coming out. And when I was holding it, I did feel like I was in a band in a way. Like, you know how when you're a kid, you're like, hey, if I ever have an album,

like this is gonna be, like Bumpinging mics to me feels like I'm in some kind of band. There's nothing better on vinyl record than crowd work I'll tell you that. I remember listening to Hello Dummy which is Dal Rickles thing. He's talking to people in the crowd I'm like I wonder what suit that guy's wearing. Wow. Who is that guy? He must be Japanese. He must be my dad. Face other jokes, he must be Asian. Yeah.

Who would always be in the third row? You know, it's like, oh, and the Asian guy in the third row. Right. Tell us a little bit about Rickles since we segued in there. I love him. Oh yeah, well. You wrote a nice tribute to him in Rolling Stone. Yeah, I did. I cared about Dom because, you know, he made it okay to not just be self-deprecating,

but all deprecating. He would make fun of stuff. He wasn't afraid to speak truth to powerful people. And I love that, you know. And his daughter Mindy Rickles is on Gilbert's episode of the historical row. She actually plays Don Rickles. And I admire Don. I can't say we were close buddies, but I certainly consider him a friend. And he's the master at that.

And you know, a lot of stuff when you when you think about it Like how do you develop an act like that and that's like a lot of lounge? Late night lounge, you know drunks working with drunks working with hecklers That's how we started doing that really that kind of act Vegas old Vegas Not the Disney Vegas the old Vegas like you could just see it in him, like the fighter, you know, and I love that. And he developed it, crafted it into like its own thing. And we're all like, you know, we're all in awe

of how he did it. And especially back then, it wasn't like a tweet. It was like a guy waiting for you outside and he wants to punch you up. You know, like that was definitely a tune up time. So that's what I love about Rickles and how like the other acts would come down to see him because they knew it was so different You know like Frank Sinatra all those guys would come and see him late, you know

They tell me back in the day, you know, we played Slate Brothers Is that the name of the place on La Cienega that he had an act is his act wasn't even insult comedy It was really his impressions. Huh? I didn't know that that that grew over time probably as Dave says from the crowd work Well, I think we work strip clubs. So he would MC. Yeah. And he would sing like, you know, people, he sang. He wanted to be an actor. That's what I know. He went to acting school. Yeah. Yeah. And he was a showman. Even up in his 90s, he was had an orchestra on stage and he would do his Yankee Doodle and he would do James Cagney impressions and he would tap dance and he would do, he would bring people on stage and do a little like play acting. A lot of it was he would improvise.

Oftentimes I would get asked to speak at the same functions. Friends would have big birthday parties and Don would speak and I would speak and of course Don would always speak last and he'd always tease me for being too prepared. I would write a roast. John Stamos' 50th birthday, I worked days on it, I wanted to do well. You know, John Stamos is so handsome, the birthday candles blew him. And then Don would always tease me about like being prepared. He would always tease me, right?

And then ironically, I really learned to trust myself and not be so prepared that I could go off the cuff. At a memorial for Don Rickles, his manager, Tony Oh, at the very last second said, "'Will you say something?' and handed me a microphone on a minute's notice. And I spoke about Don for a long time, very off the cuff emotionally, and I loved him.

He was like the Pope of comedy. The kind of comedy he did was healing. It helped people laugh at themselves. It took race and gender and made it something not important, something to laugh about and it bonded people. So shout out to Don Rick. It would have been, I think, 92 this week. And performing till the end.

And I remember he lived old enough to start Shout out to Don Rickles. Yes. It would have been, I think, 92 this week. And performing till the end. Absolutely. And I remember he lived old enough to start to get into that generation of being offended. Right. And there was one joke that was all over the internet, how horrible. Don Rickles was talking about Barack Obama and he says he's a friend of mine, he was over the house, but he had to leave early his mop broke and terrible joke everyone got offended I remember thinking you know I'll bet you if the president heard that he would have left did your dad pull a pull a Sinatra on Don Rickles oh

yeah when we were in that a poor God I was thinking about that. Did your dad pull a Sinatra on Don Rickles? Oh yeah. When we were down at Borgata I was thinking about that the other day. My dad loved to gamble in the 80s when they built Resorts International Casino down in Atlantic City. My dad was a regular and there's that famous story where Don tells on The Tonight Show he goes over

to Frank you know you tell it then I'll tell you., he goes over to Frank, you know, you tell it, then I'll tell you. Well, he goes over to Frank and he says, there's a girl I'm with and I'm really trying to make it with her and it would mean a lot to me. It would really be great if you came over the table really quickly and said a quick hello. And Sinatra said, no problem. Is that pretty much the setup? And then when Frank went over, Don said, can't you see I'm with people? So my dad heard that story on a tonight show. My dad was just a caterer from New Jersey who was enjoying Atlantic City and the gambling

and he would see Don Rickles at the same restaurant every month or so. My dad loved to go down there and my dad's girlfriend at the time was also named Barbara. So he went over to Don and said I really would impress this chick when you go to the bathroom can you just wave and pretend you know me my name is Ron her name is Barbara so whether Don got got or we was just being a good sport he did it he came over to my dad's table and said hey Ronnie is this Barbara you told me about you know enjoy your meal and my dad dropped his fork and said Don can't you see I'm eating

My dad you know he loved that story forever he loved comedy Dave I got a question for you. Yeah, why did you say that every comic is a porn historian? Every comic is a porn historian You were giving an interview about Dave's porn collection. Well, I don't know if you know this, Frank. I've become a faith-based comic. So, I'm not saying I didn't say it, but I'm saying I'm a different man. No, I think that the vintage porn, which is the show that I did.

Yes. The show I miss, by the way. Yeah, that was on Showtime and that was two seasons. Never had Jeff on it. Gilbert, you were on it right? I don't think so. Dave's old porn. I'm not so sure. Because that was my favorite of all the projects I self produced. Where is your old porn? What's that? I had it when I moved it was like basically, you ever see like an eagle when the birds now are able to fly? It was like, good luck.

I had to let go of all that porn. And I gave it to a mutual friend. You set it free. A mutual friend, Dave, whose friend would sell it on the web, and I'm like, I don't even know if anybody has a DVD anymore, you know? Like I'm the only guy with like 300 DVDs, you know? It's like pretty sad, but I really love doing that show I liked tributing the old porn

stars with both the new people in the business and also letting the comics see some of these really retro raunchy clips so that was the beauty of it and the comics I think since we have so much downtime so much alone time that porn does fill the void for a lot of us now a lot of these younger comics. Let's hit the gym Let's um, I don't know play some you know some game on online back then It was really just porn and this is L Rio and Eric a boy. Yeah Christie Canyon's lives in my neighborhood. She does. She was one of my favorites, honestly. So beautiful.

Any of these names mean anything to you, Gilbert? No, not those. Vanessa Del Rio. Okay, that's more familiar. That's a local girl, by the way. Yes. Yes, Staten Island, Strong Island. I remember when porn, there was that short period of time

when they started showing porn in legitimate theaters. Yes. Like the Exorcist. The last Tango in Paris? What? It was like when the Exorcist and the By the Green Door time. Yeah. The late 70s. Devil and Miss Jones.

Yep. Or Screw on Screen was one that Goldstein made. But you know, when I think of those times, like, would I really stand online for, you know, double gaping anal? I don't think so. Like, honey, I know it's raining out, but this is going to be good. You got your money ready? Because Roma's at the box office.

What was that show we talked about when we had you on in Gilbert's Kitchen? You were talking about a TV show that you loved as a kid. It was an outer space show. Do you talked about when we had you on in Gilbert's kitchen you were talking about a TV show that You loved as a kid. It was a an outer space show. Do you remember this conversation? Geez, I don't know Gilbert knows all those great TV shows. Is it a Sid Marty Croft thing or something? Um, I have to go back and listen to the episode but I will say this is that um, I am doing a new show and Jeff probably Probably talked about a little bit, but I have my own new show that I'm doing I'm excited for this because Dave's been working on this idea for a long time and you know

And I was asking maybe you know Gilbert if you'd want to be on it because it's a new show. It's called celebrity hospice People's careers die before they do we let them go with a little dignity. And I... Thank you. Excellent setup, Jeff. I gotta go pee. Can I go pee? Go pee.

All right. Yeah. I'll hold the fort. Yeah. We'll stop. So now we can talk all sci-fi stuff. Gilbert, I didn't know you were a sci-fi fan. Did you watch the original Star Trek?

No. You didn't like it? No. Are you a Twilight Zone guy, Tate? I love it. We got Rod Serling's daughter coming here on Monday to talk about it. No way! All the way from Albany? Yes! Is that where she's from? Yes!

I read that book about Rod Serling and as a Jewish man, I really felt like, I want to be like Rod Serling, a chain-smoking World War II vet. Yes! With a creative writing degree out of Syracuse University. I know a lot about him, I loved him. Yeah, and you're a Planet of the Apes fan, as we talked about on the last show. Not the TV show Planet of the Apes,

the real movies, I loved it. The screenplay by Rod Serling. And all of the Charlton Heston post-apocalyptic movies, Omega Man. Oh yeah, that's great stuff. Yes, that was great. Did you, and Soylent Green, of course. Yes, with Edward great. Yes. That was great. Did you do a Soylent Green? Of course. Yes with every Robinson Mm-hmm. Yes exactly and and then there was that other movie

That was also last man on earth with Vincent Price. That was the original Omega man. Yeah story That's what all these like, you know all these movies now about zombies and you know, all that kind of stuff That's what that's about. Richard Matheson, I think. Yep. And now, I don't know what movies you guys watch, but it's very difficult to watch. I assume with the kids you gotta watch a lot of these kids' movies, correct? Oh yeah.

And what... Because I remember the last time I was here, I was like, so what do you do with the kids? And you said you make them watch these old monster movie. He does yeah And I said, I bet you your kids are so popular at school. You want to talk about the mummy? I want to ask how you Amy Schumer just named her baby Yes in parts, yeah, no, no, the middle name. The middle name. And Amy's always been so good to me,

so funny and and just like, you know, I was so excited when she's having the baby and she said, you know what I want to, I want to, I want to name the baby, give the baby your name and I was like, okay, well Dave is cool, you know, that's always pretty, you know, there's nothing, you know, Dave's always pretty you know, there's nothing you know Dave's pretty you know middle of the road. She's like no, no your last name and I'm like what? You know, I felt bad for the baby, but then I was like it's such a nice compliment You know, how can I not you know, just take it as that because it's so sweet of her to do it But you know, it really does kind of say, you know

The best compliment I got was like well, you know, that's good So your name will live on you know, cuz you're never gonna say, you know, the best compliment I got was like, well, you know, that's good, so your name will live on, you know, because you're never going to have kids. I'm like, okay, thanks. I'm like, okay, thanks. You know, so it's like, either that or a bridge or a street, you know, like that's a boat, you know?

So that was cool. And yeah, she's the best. Has she ever been on the show? We never had Amy. Oh, I think we asked her. She is so cool. When we used to tour around, like for a while there, we did a great tour one time.

It was me, Amy, Jim Norton, Artie. Jim we had, Artie we had. Artie Lang, and I think even Bill Burr was on one of two shows. And I always felt so bad for Amy, because she was like, you know, this like, she was the Marilyn and we were the Munsters. You know, like these old, these old grizzled comics, you know?

And she held her own and then she was great. So, Amy is top notch. We should have her. Oh, where'd you get all the snacks? Oh, Ross came back with snacks. How'd you, I didn't know you took a shuttle flight from, that's like shuttle flight food. Pretzels and a banana, an unripe banana.

By the way, a very flattering piece about you, Dave, in The Times a couple of months ago written by Jason Zinneman. He wrote a good book about The Letterman Show. He was at the show and I brought Amy on at Caroline's and he was sitting right in front. I felt so bad for him because both Amy and I were like, that guy looks so familiar. Who is that guy? And we're like, I think he's a reporter. And then afterwards we talked to him and I said,

are you writing an article or something? He goes, I'm off duty, don't worry about it. And then I guess it was a slow news week couple months later and he banged that out. So tip of the hat to him, man, he is a true comedy fan. So I love that he came down. He knows his stuff, that was great. He loves that you busted on him too,

that you called him Stephen Hawking stunt double. Yeah, he was sitting there. He was sitting there, I felt so bad for the poor guy. I was sitting out front in one of those seats where you're like, this poor guy doesn't know what he's up to. And then I guess he just rolled with it though. He just sat there, he was fine.

Okay, real quick before we get you guys out of here, I'm jumping around. I got a couple of questions for Dave from listeners. Do you want to hear these? I gotta go. You gotta go. Hahahaha! Go ahead, let's hear it. Okay.

I love you guys. How did you know? I might be able to come back, but I gotta take a phone call. Seriously? Yeah. Okay. Um... Pfft!

Hahahaha! Fuckin' hour and a half. Um... Wow, what would Milton Berle do? I think he would stay here and... I'll come back, but I gotta do I gotta take it How long is the call? I don't know This is the first time since the end of the comedy show where a guest said I gotta make a phone call

Well, I have to take a phone call this is also the first time you've had a guest who has an Anne Frank roast It just hit the Netherlands. Oh That's what the calls about yes, I have to take this call. Oh you'd be surprised how many of those. All right you take the call I'm gonna ask Dave the questions that were meant for you. Gilbert I just want to say I love you on behalf of Dave myself thank you for being a part of bumpin mics you're a legend. Yes you really are. You are a legend. You have an open invite to be on the stage whenever however you want with us because you complete us you really do oh thank you try bump try bump thank you that's so

sweet and thank Frank and Frank good luck to you on your book about Pat McCormick I wish I'm gonna see you next week. I'm coming on the view. You'll be there. I will. I love it. Sounds like a thread. And I thank the both of you for having me on Bumping Mikes. That was a lot of fun. And I thank you, Jeff, for having me on the To Be Hitler. The historical notes.

The historical roast. You instantly make it a classic. Before you go, give us the plugs again. Okay. And I'm going to make you read one of my favorite Jeff Ross roast jokes. Oh, here it is. When I roasted Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons is such an asshole that his own asshole changed its name to Murray. That's a great one.

I forgot about that one, Frank. Thank you for that. That's a classic. Really? I can plug our shows again? Go ahead. Oh, absolutely. This makes me so happy.

Yep. I don't know what you guys are doing June 6th and 7th, but Dave and I will be at the Mirage in Las Vegas. Oh, gee, I'm working on that. I was talking to your audience. June 6th and 7th. There's no better way to celebrate D-Day than by anniversary. By anniversary. Mir audience. June 6th and 7th, there's no better way to celebrate D-Day than anniversary. I've never played the Morango before out in Cabezon, California.

Have you? No, I haven't. June 14th, Dave and I will be there. And these shows, they're like events. Anything can happen. That's what we should have called it, the Anything Can Happen Tour. June 15th, we'll be at Harris in Southern California. Dave loves the casino shows because he can smoke in the elevator.

Yeah, he can smoke anywhere I want. He smokes in the elevator. I never saw a guy smoke in the elevator before. And plug the Netflix show again? October 4th and 5th. I'm not done. Okay. Jesus.

We'll be in Dave's hometown. Huntington. Huntington Paramount Theater tickets are going fast. By the way, we had to add shows in some of these places. Oh, great. We're doing great. And speaking of Canada, we're going to Winnipeg October 20th. Yeah, take that.

You know what? We should cancel that one. Why? Go to Winnipeg. What time of year are we going? October. October. Awesome.

Is there some kind of, I guess, uber dog sled that you can suggest Gilbert? That could open for us down there. Before we go, I want to say that Dave said one of the funniest things in the history of this show. Gilbert asked if he knew about Danny Thomas's fetish and Dave said, children's hospitals? And our listeners are still talking about that 200 shows later. Put a Shriner's cap on his head, Neil. Thank you, boys. Thanks for having us, guys. We love you both.

Thank you. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre And our guest making it one of the easiest shows we've ever done, Jeff Ross and Dave Attell. Thank you. Thank you, boys. Pump it up. Everybody in. Frank, get in there.

You want to say anything about Abe Vigoda before you jump off? Abe Vigoda is so old, his sag number is three. Gilbert, we went to his funeral yeah Gilbert roasted Gilbert and I both memorialized it up long live Ava go to I'm dedicating October 4th in Huntington to Ava go to hard hard promotion thanks guys Hard promotion. Thanks, guys. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing Colossal Podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa.

Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair, and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Fodiatis, John Murray, and Paul Rayburn. Music