Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Classic: Scott Rogowsky

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

GGACP celebrates January's National Brain Teaser Month by revisiting this 2019 interview with comedian, TV personality and former host of HQ Trivia, Scott Rogowsky. In this episode: “The Sanford Arms”! “Chico and the Man: The Motion Picture"! Gilbert plays a bar mitzvah! The generosity of Richard Kind! And Scott quizzes the boys on super-tough movie trivia! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and I'm here with Frank Santopadre and we're at Showbiz Studios. Showbriz at Showbiz Studios. Showbriz. Showbriz Studios. Look to your left. See? Showbriz Studios. Owned and operated by Alex Brazel.

Not Keith Brazel. Not Keith, no. And our guest this episode, oh, this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession. And who's our guest? See, okay. He just, Frank just showed me. Because I still don't know what the fuck you do.

I didn't want him to forget your name. Yes, it's Scott Radowski. Hey, he's here. Yes, Scott, it's Scott Radowski. Hey! He's here! Yes, Scott Radowski is here. Ladies and gentlemen. Now, now. Pat Slayjack, the Semitic Slayjack they call me. Now, now, fuck you and your career.

You said you like my, you're a fan of this podcast. Can you believe that? Am I the first? What's the matter with you? I was saying, I listened to, I listened to four podcasts. Oh, now it's four. A minute ago it was three. Oh, well. Well, I wanted to squeeze another. So there's, I listened to four podcasts. Oh, now it's four. A minute ago it was three. Oh, wow.

Well, I wanted to squeeze another. So there's, I listened to the best show of Tom Sharpling, who was a guest on the show. We love Tom to death. I'm so glad I helped Alex. Tom is a genius. I helped connect you guys. Dana Gouldour, another former guest of yours.

We love Dana. Yes. And I listened to Gilbert's podcast, of course, you guys. And then Stormfronts, the Daily Stormfront. Yeah. Just to keep in touch. You know, I always wanted to be up on, yeah, you know, which Jew is controlling Hollywood this week. They keep you up to date.

Keep in touch with your neo-Nazi roots. I've gotten on a list. They found this Nazi list of Jews who have way too much power. And I was there and I was so thrilled. I wanted to send a thank you card to the American Nazi party because I was there with Steven Spielberg

and all these people. Wow. That's what, and Barbara Buck. I have. Barbara Buck. See, these are things I learned listening to your podcast. Olivia Newton, John, all the I, ha ha ha ha ha. See, these are things I learned listening to your podcast. Olivia Newton John, called The Secret Jews.

Big Jew. Well, that's one of the draws for your podcast. As a fellow member of the tribe, I share your obsession with other Jews. I think every Jew loves to hear about other Jews, whether it's show business, I'm a big sports fan, so I love hearing about Jews in sports. In fact, I remember my grandmother saying to me, because she also,

like my parents, would like be going, oh, what's that person's name? Oh, that sounds like they're a Jew. And my grandmother was, she watched a movie with Barry Fitzgerald. The most Irish actor in history. Yes. The most Gentile actor in history. And you know his way was you know when he talked he sounded like a bad nightclub comedian doing an Irish character. Never see going my way with Bing? Yeah, I'm familiar with Barry Fitzgerald. Barry Fitzgerald. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he was trying to do it. Right. And my grandmother thought he was so wonderful in that picture, and she says to me, is he Jewish?

And I thought, yeah, not exactly. So one of your favorite parts of this show is when Gilbert identifies Jews. Exactly, and then harps on them with his guests. I mean, there's been so, there's so many elements. And I really, I've noticed, because I've been listening since day one. You're so kind.

With Dick Cavett, that first episode, and so many great- Not a Jew. Not a Jew. Not a Jew. And also it's so disappointing when you hear, people aren't Jewish. Yes.

Norman Jewison, not a Jew. That's weird. That's weird. Kills me. Canadian. Yeah. Our first Jew, I think was Larry, is Larry Storch Jewish? Larry Storch. Not a Jew. That's weird. Killed me. Canadian. Yeah. Our first Jew I think was Larry Storch.

Is Larry Storch Jewish? Larry Storch is definitely a Jew. Okay, so it took us I think three shows to get to a Jew. Because Gianni Russo, show two. Oh wait, wait, wait, our first failed one. Erwin Corey. Yeah, we didn't post that. Yeah, we never posted him.

So we were graded on a two-jew curve. And I like, I always like to name hot-jew pieces of ass. Bob Rebock and Olivia Newton-John obviously. Yasmine Bleefe, I think, has some. Yasmine Bleefe? From Baywatch? Although these days, I think she's got into the meth. Oh, I wouldn't want to see her now.

I think she's dipped into the methamphetamines. No, I wouldn't want to see her right now. think she's dipped into the the methamphetamines. No, I wouldn't want to see her right now. Don't post this part there. But. Too late. Just kidding. But oh, an obvious open with the Judaism, but still a hot piece of ass. Natalie Portman. Yeah.

No, what about Tova Felcha? Tova Felcha. She's. Tony Fields? She's on my jerk off. The thing underneath the bed. I've got Tova Felcher photos. While we're talking about Jews and good looking ones, Rachel Brosnahan, Mrs. Maisel, not Jewish. But how do you feel about a non-Jewish woman playing a Jewish woman so overtly? Can you comment on Mrs. Maizel?

Yes, I appeared in that. You're in the pilot. But how do you feel about this? Is this like Jew face she's putting on? Cause to me it's like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Oh, it's like yellow face. Oh, you're offended by that. I am offended by it.

Give it to a Jewish actress. I mean, like that's a role that should be played by a Jewish woman. Yes, she's taking work away from Jews. I give that to a Jewish actress. I mean, like that's a role that should be played by a Jewish woman. Yes. She's taking work away from Jews. Speaking of Jews, as a child, you liked Alan Sherman records, which we just had David Yazbek on the show.

We talked about it's on this week's show, which you haven't heard yet, I'm sure. But we talked at length about Alan Sherman. Scarlett Johansson's hot Jewish. She should be Mrs. Mays. He'll make the whole show about this. Exactly. About hot Jewish women that he wants to Lauren McCall and her day Lauren

McCall's Jewish yeah Pinsky no kidding I learned something so you you grew up listening to comedy you come from a family of lawyers no comedians right exactly but you know I oh and I meant to bring this to I feel like I failed you we'll have to do another episode well Well, we'll just have to. Come on back. We know where you live. Cause we've just scraped the surface. Yeah, but my, right. We've already, time's up. But my, the only connection that my family

has to show business is my, was my great aunt Sally. So my grandmother's sister, Sally Albertson, does the name Albertson ring a bell for me? Jack Albertson? Yes, that's right. Wow. She was married to Jack Albertson. does the name Albertson ring a bell for you? Jack Albertson? Yes, that's right. Wow! She was married to Jack Albertson. Ooh! A Jew.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And let's not forget Willy Wonka in the Juggle Factory. And he's in the Poseidon Adventure. He was a, he was a lengthy career. He worked for about three times with Martin Sheen. We have to get Martin Sheen on to talk about Jack. He worked in, the subject was roses. Very good. He did an episode of Bracken's World.

There you go. Look that one up. And that one and the episode, I remember the name of it was called My Father Never Spanked Me. And he did a religious, an appearance on a religious show called Insights, where Jack Albertson amazingly played a Jew. The power of your recall could like fuel time square. Can you give him some freelance research work on HQ trivia?

How is this, that brain of yours, the folds of your brain? If you don't fucking need to know it, I know it. But you didn't know that Jack Albertson was married to Sally Regan-Streeve? Didn't know that. That was the first thing I learned. Had you ever met the man? No, well, he died before, I don't know, in the 80s? Yeah, probably before you came along. But, you know, and they were split up, you know,

before he got famous, really. He was still like a vaudeville actor. But they remain friends, and I have a scrapbook. My great aunt Sally died 15 years ago, so I'm like, sorry about that. But there's a scrapbook that she left with signed photos from Phil Silvers, personalized to Sally Jack Guilford. George Jessel's first wife, we're friends, Laurie Andrews, and there's like this...

Does that mean anything to you, Mr. Jessel? Oh, hello mama. Hello mama, this is your son. Your son, village. The one that sends you checks every week. Yes, that's right. Oh, so, so, mama. It's Professor Zoidberg. Yes, sir. It is Professor Zoidberg. It's where he got it from.

So, mama, how's your eyesight, darling? Are you seeing spots before your eyes? Well, why don't you put on your glasses? Oh, now you see the spots more clearly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha because you've got what, 243 episodes now? Coming up on 250. 250, you've evolved. Because there was that Clubhouse feel at the beginning when you had your friends on a lot of times too, Drew Freeman, Richard Kind, and Biarco. Biarco, yeah.

And you have Persky, and you get together, and Schaeffer, and all the story, Romero, and Danny Thomas, and Forrest Tucker, Milton Berle, but you haven't referenced that lately. No, about 200 shows in, we started to turn into broadcasters. Yeah, you started to turn around. Well, we did later on start bringing in the cunnilingus chimps. Uh-huh.

You know about that. That's supplanted, yes, the cunnilingus chimps. That's a recurring game. And, yeah. And there's, what's the latest obsession now? I mean, there's, well, Pat McCormick's sort of grown, the Hella-Cotta-Hella-Cotton story. Well, we got to a point where we really,

you start getting serious actors on the show. You start getting the Barbara Barrys and the Lee Grants and the M.M. at Walsh's, and you actually have to interview these people. You can't, every week can't be us talking about Caesar, Amero, and oranges. Orange wedgies, yeah. But whenever you introduce that,

it's like Tippy Hedgeson or something. Whenever you had someone and you'd sort of broach the old- Oh, he did it with Frankie Avalon, with Lee Merriweather, anybody that ever worked with Caesar Romero. Peter Marshall. Austin Pendleton just made it alive out of this room. He worked with Caesar Romero in Skadoo.

The man next to me did not bring up orange wedges once. See that? That's progress. That's growth, Gilbert. Yes. Personal growth. Now, when Jack Albertson was doing Chico and the Man, you know, of course. Because Chico needed the money.

That's why he was doing it. Chico and the Man. Chico needed the money. And so, of course, Freddie Prinze shot himself. Of course, like we all know he would. And because Chico, Chico actually, Chico, I'm saying it in the Mock's Brothers' movie. Because Chico in Spanish means boy,

they kept the title Chico and the Man because they got a young boy and they said see it's a boy and a man. There's nothing sadder than when a sitcom has to move on without the star. Oh! Like the Sanford Arms. Oh my god! They did a Sanford and Sons show after Red Fox quit. Tried to maintain it by keeping the name, put the secondary characters like Grady and Roscoe and and I think DeMond Wilson was, I don't think he was on it. They all give them bigger parts yeah which never works. They can and Esther was on it. Anyway let's talk about

Scott Rogowsky. Well that's boring. No let's talk about Sanford Arms. Yeah. Why don't they reboot Chico and the Man with Freddie Prinze Jr. As a thought. And Wilford Brimley. Excellent! Wilford Brimley. Excellent! Would that be good? We gotta get Wilford. Or Austin Pendleton.

Or is Freddie Prinze Jr. too well? Could he be the man at this point? Or a feature, Chico and the Man the Motion Picture. There you go. We have to get Wilford Brimley on this podcast. Yeah. Before his diabetes gets him. Yes, I was going to say.

Wilford Brimley. Darryl Cole, Wilford Brimley. Yes, I was going to say. As diabetists. Darragh Cole Wilford Brinkley. We could pay him off in insulin. Or just brand flakes. Let's talk to you about how you got into comedy. You were a child. You listened to this stuff as a kid. It's the right way to live.

You grew up listening to comedy albums. Yeah. As you explained, no other show was in the family other than your late aunt. Right. Who was a show was adjacent. She was doing local theater aunt. Right, who was, you know, a show was at Jace's. I mean, she was just doing local theater and things, but she was friends with all these people.

But so yeah, no real model to look at other than the things I grew up listening to. And yeah, we had some Alan Sherman records in the house, Weird Al, another artist. Right, Weird Al, yes. One of my all time heroes growing. Even Adam Sandler's tapes and his, there were cassettes. His comedy albums.

All of it, I just soaked it all up. I mean, my kindergarten teacher said I was a sponge in her report. Mostly for other things, but really, the sponge worked with comedy as well as academics. And I just. When did you become aware of this person as a performer? It has to be Aladdin.

Was it Aladdin? Yeah, I mean, that was, you know, I don't know. Even before you saw his. Was it Aladdin? Yeah, I mean that was, you know. And even before you saw his stand up or you? Yeah, I was just a little, you know, well his stand up was not being featured much. I must say. At the age of five. But you know, Problem Child, I saw that.

Problem Child, yes. It's one of the few movies that my dad, we left the theater early on that one. He pulled me out of that one. That was too, it was so bad. So did Larry and Scott. It was so bad we left early on that one. That was probably the only movie that ever left early.

One of the writers, our friend Scott Alexander, claims he cried. Yes. After he first saw my little child. And the weird thing, every single critic in the world put it on their top 10 worst movies of the year. But they made three of them. Oh yeah, it made a fortune.

And an animated series. And Gilbert's the only constant. Well of course, because what wouldn't you do for a paycheck? Yeah. You would do Sanford Arms. It's going to bring back Sanford Arms. He's gonna bring back Sanford Arms. Gilbert and Roscoe. I mean, I'd say Gilbert would attend your grandma's funeral dressed as a clown for a

thousand dollars. He'd do anything. Oh, he'd do it. For a thousand dollars. He'd do it for less. He'd do it for some, you know, craft services. Yeah. Bless his heart.

For the shivok. So how about, so how did you get into... You should do celebrity shivok calls. That's my pitch to you. I see. I had an idea. Dara's lighting up here. Let me tell you an idea. It's funny you should say that. I want to do a show called Celebrity Funeral. Uh-huh.

I love it. Celebrity, we have a different celebrity each week, and we set up their funeral. Hollywood funeral. This is like your Hogan's Heroes bit. Oh yeah. The executive says, I love it, give me 26. But if you just pop into a Shiva,

and you're like, what was Gilbert Godfrey? How did Sheila know Gilbert Godfrey? You just don't even explain anything, you just, you pray, you dove it, and then you leave, and you take some white fish. Are you getting, speaking of this kind of fame, are you getting bar mitzvah requests since your newfound fame?

Have you done bar mitzvahs? No. He did his own. I don't think, I don't think, I may have. Max's is coming up. I may have, I may have done one years ago. I did, I've done several. I sort of had to put the kibosh on it,

because there's too many. You do one, and then every one of Long Island wants you. You were doing them as a standup. No, I was doing them now everyone in Long Island wants you. You were doing them as a standup. No, I was doing them now as an HQ, doing trivia. I never did it as a standup. No, the HQ thing blew me open. I mean... I can't get the bar mitzvahs. They say I'm too Jew-y. Will Max have a bar mitzvah, Dara? Well, you can play that one, Gil.

Yeah. You can hire me. Yeah, sure. You can play Lily's bot mitzvah. Oh, God. Yeah, you can hire me. Yeah, you can play Lily's bot mitzvah. Oh God See now bus mitzvahs among the Jews That's when a Jew really wants to show off because I don't think it means anything No, it's just it is just a status symbol at the most, you know, especially these Long Island But I mean I'm telling you I did a bot bar mitzvah this this past year in

In Westbury or something, at one of those big gigantic theaters. They had the kid coming in from the ceiling on a harness, flying in. Oh, jeez. They had a $250,000 Lamborghini Formula One thing just sitting there for people to take photos with. I was like, you know, the basketball sitting there,

you know, that they set up. That was one of the side attractions. The kid flew in and was on bar mitzvah on a harness. Flying in on a harness and zomber mitzvah. Was he Sandy Duncan and Peter Pan? I mean, it was bizarre. It was just like lights and smoke and music. I mean, they must've spent half a million dollars

on this thing. So they threw you a couple of bucks. They threw me a couple of bucks to entertain during cocktail hour. And I, you know, go in and out and it's, you know, it's not a bad way to make a living, but you gotta, it during cocktail hour. Yeah. And I, you know, go in and out and it's, you know, it's not a bad, it's not a bad way to make a living, but you gotta, it is the depressing one. Like, you know, they'd rather play air hockey than listen to what you're doing.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. Well, tell us, and I'll cut to the chase here. I mean, but, but, but for HQ trivia came into your life. I was doing, you know, I, I, I. You were doing things. I was doing things. You had a hit YouTube video. You know, doing standup, doing some videos, but I, uh,

I was ready to leave New York and move to LA. I believe you and I were walking on the Upper East Side from fell David Feldman's apartment. And you said, I think I had enough of this. I'm going West. Yep. I mean, I said, if David Feldman can't. And you said, I think I had enough of this. I'm going west. Yeah, I mean, I said, if David Feldman can't make it in New York. And then everything changed.

Yeah. Do you remember that day? I remember that day, I do. You guys were doing your thing. And I thought I gotta move to LA to try to make it work in a different city. Cause I had read Phil Hartman's biography. I forgot who wrote it, but he mentioned that Phil

had been struggling himself doing a lot of, he was doing the album covers. Graphic artists, he was doing album covers, yeah. As a comedian, he wasn't really cracking it. And then him and Paul Rubin, they all got together, the Pee Wee guys, and they were like, you know, we got this great show concept,

but no one's given us a show, let's put it on ourselves. So they rented a theater in LA for three months and put on Pee Wee's Playhouse just themselves. They did it themselves, paid each other, you know, the receipts from the gate and HBO saw it and gave them the show. Sucker Brothers too. They created Kentucky Fried Theater

and they're on theater in Madison. So you gotta do it yourself, you gotta be a self-star, which is what I did with Running Late, my talk show that Alex produces with me. And I've been doing that for seven years in New York, and I thought you know what else? Famous for being Jewish no being angry There you go yeah, you're just resentful because of all the movie theaters you've jerked off and you never got any without any notoriety The jerky awards heaven I go in I jerk off in, I jerk off in a theater, nothing.

No price. And he doesn't mean problem child. He doesn't mean on screen. So you had done a couple of running late shows in LA. They had done well. Yeah. And this gave you reason to think maybe things would be a little rosier in LA. I should go directly to the source of the business.

Right. And do it weekly there and really build it up kind of what the Pee Wee guys did and hopefully someone would notice. I mean, I still have this romantic notion that Lorne Michaels is gonna walk in and cast you. But I don't think that happens much. All these agents and their junior agents and their assistants and these things.

But I think these days you gotta have like 100,000 Instagram followers for anyone to give a shit. But you had a- Here's something that I think about a lot now, is like with all the agents and managers and stuff, I think nowadays you'd have to get one who was like five years old. Right.

To know what's going on. I mean, these agents now are like, oh, you know, maybe we can get you on the Johnny Carson show Yeah, I was signed with Jack Rollins when he turned 99. He signed me That's what I wanted I wanted you one of the old guy the old mention Right, I can get you into vaudeville. Yeah, Jack Rollins. I'll get you to the palace We miss we missed out on Jack. Wow, man I can get you into Vaudeville. Jack Rollins. I'll get you to the palace. The Pantages. We missed out on Jack Rollins.

Oh man. So you get this audition one day. I got the audition. And just as I literally, I gave up my apartment like May 1st, I gave it, you know, but I auditioned in April for this thing. And then like May 15th, I got a call saying, hey, you got it. You got HQ. So then I had already given my apartment up.

I moved back home, my parents for a few months. It happens that way. It happens that way. But I ended up doing this HQ thing, which I did six weeks. They signed me for another six weeks. And then I got two years and now a year of that is over. So I'm looking, looking down on my last year here.

And it's taken, it took off. Well, yeah, it took off in a huge, huge way. And suddenly you're on talk shows. Suddenly you're on Colbert, you're on the Today Show, you're on Kelly and Ryan. Yeah, it's wild. There's Scott Rogowsky, overnight celebrity. Yeah, but it took 12 years to get there.

But no one- Usually does. Usually does, but it's been the craziest years of my life. I mean, Time Magazine called me one of the five faces of the year, Time Out New York, New Yorker of the Year. You can't even turn it off in a movie theater anymore. I can't turn it off. You know what they mean when they said New Yorker of the year.

It was, it was, there's three parentheses around it. Yeah. But you know, but it's funny you say I can't turn off in theaters cause truly what I can't do anymore is be a slob in public, which is what I used to do. Right, cause people know you. Cause I'm sitting in an airport once, you know, I had this big hamburger and it was just all over my face

and all over my hands, because I didn't give a shit. And then I look up and someone's filming me. Was that the first time you were recognized? No, but it was just like, I realized like, oh God, I gotta clean up my act a little bit. Right, but you'd be out to dinner and somebody would come over and take a knee. Yeah, you get that and it's usually nice.

But then I was watching Annie Hall again last night and that scene where those two bozos, when he's outside the theater, is one of the funny, one of the funny. I'll be singing over here. Yeah, but it starts off with, hey, are you on television? I mean, they have no idea who he is. Johnny Carson.

Johnny Carson, yeah, you know, occasionally, you know. Hey, what? One of them was named Cheech. Yeah, it's not gonna do a guy's name, Cheech. What is it, Meany the Teamsters? You know what's, you know, hey, one of them was named Cheech. Yeah, it's not going to do a couple of guys named Cheech. What is it, Me and the Teamsters? You know what's funny about that scene? He says when Diane Keaton shows up, she says, you're just going to have to deal with it. He says, deal with it. I'm dealing with the cast of The Godfather.

Yeah. One of those guys is in The Godfather. No way. Yeah. He's in the, he's, I can't remember the scene he's in. The guy that says, this is Albie Singer, he's in The Godfather. But that's just so, I have to look the actor up.

Cause they start up, they start with the- So she, by the way. Yeah, but I love the interaction and what he gets to perfect, because it's like, they start off having no idea who he is. Yeah. No, cause then they go, hey, you know what? And then, oh, Albie Singer, he's on TV.

I mean, this happened the other night. Someone's like, wait, who are you? You know who this is, right? One friend goes and the guy's no idea. Oh, it's the HQ guy. Oh, the HQ guy, can I get a photo? It's like, who are you? You know who this is, right? One friend goes and the guy's no idea. Oh, it's the HQ guy. Oh, the HQ guy, can I get a photo? It's like, one minute you had no idea who I am, the next you want my photo, you want it.

It's like, just get out of here. What is this mattress story that happened? The mattress story? This is kind of funny. Yeah, that might- I was the one jerking off on a mattress. It's kind of a one track mind. Yeah, oh, true.

What happened? Your ex roommate? Yeah, my old Yeah, oh, sure. What happened, your ex roommate? Yeah, my old roommate, Russ, Rusty, I moved out of my place, because I gave up the apartment, that's where I was. Sure, sure. But I left my mattress there, because I'm not gonna pay for storage,

and I don't wanna hire some guy to move it. So I said, listen, I'll deal with this later, I'll figure out a way to get rid of it, just can I leave it at the apartment till I figure it out. So I said, listen, I'll deal with this later. I'll figure out a way to get rid of it. Just kind of leave it at the apartment till I figure it out. Ends up being there for like four or five months. And in the meantime Russie's like, look, I'm getting rid of this my own way.

He puts it on Craigslist. After HQ got big, he goes, buy Scott Rakowski's former mattress. $600. He was trying to sell the HQ guys mattress. And he wrote a whole description about it on Craigslist. I ended up having to buy it back for myself just to get it off the website And I various yeah, I got what Gilbert doesn't know is I fish his old perrier bottles out of the trash

Yeah, and they're on eBay. Yeah, they got free drank from this It's a little side business. I have going who bought the mattress. I Had to take it. I Who bought the mattress? I had to take it. I took it back. No one was going to buy that thing, but then Colbert he mentioned it on... This may be an awkward question, but with this sort of newfound

celebrity, fan mail from a lot of ladies? A lot of lonely men who want my autograph. Because I have a baseball card too. This is something we got gotta talk to you. If you don't have one already, did you get a card from Topps?

Did you ever get one of these? I used to work for Topps. Yeah, the wacky packages. And they never gave me a baseball card. So Topps, they have a series called Allen and Gintler, which harkens back to like a 19th century brand. Son of a bitch. When they would do, you know, world figures.

They had boxers, they had actors. So this is a, you don't have to be a baseball player anymore to have a baseball card. And they gave me one. And now people sent it to me in the mail to get it signed. Someone sent me cards of me one time. You got a card? Yeah.

And they gave me like a bunch of them and I had to sign, I don't know, like a hundred cards. They'll pay you for your image. And then you're into this. Dara, look into that. And then people will, you did it already? Maybe you did it already. I worked for TOPS for years.

Oh my gosh. Had no idea that existed. One Whitehall, were you down in that office? No, I used to work in Brooklyn and Red Hook. Wow. The ladies with the hair nets. Cy Burger was still around? Cy Burger, it was like being,

that's a whole other mini episode. Oh yeah, we gotta do that. We'll talk about that. Drew Friedman was there, of course. Oh my goodness. You got to meet Joe Biden. I mean, all of a sudden, all of. All of a sudden you're a celebrity. And then Robert De Niro comes on HQ,

Yeah. And The Rock, and, And Jimmy Kimmel's guest hosting for you. Jimmy Kimmel, Neil Patrick Harris the other day. We had so many celebrity hosts. We just did a new set of the Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Lakeith Stanfield was a great actor. But to your credit, the fans get a little testy

when you're not hosting. Yeah. They post things like Free Scott. Do I have that right? The Free Scott, yeah. There was an incident that sort of went viral, backlasted November, and started a Free Scott campaign, which was weird. But that was a strange time to be, I mean, every day,

a new article coming out, people recognizing it. That's virality in this era. Of course. What did Biden say when he met you? You're the viral guy? You go, this guy's viral. He's looking around, Roger Goodell standing there. How bizarre. Every owner of the NFL, I was at a Super Bowl party.

So every, I mean, it was like the most billionaire sitting around in the same room and Joe Biden's looking around, go, this guy's going viral. Mandy Moore was there. Celebrity's a strange animal. It is a strange thing. And you just can't let it, you know, you can't let it, you know,

you can't let it get to yourself because. The way it's gotten to Gilbert. Yes. Right. Yeah. He thinks who he is. So, go ahead, Joe. Now here's, I mean, I'm sure you, you know,

there's so many of these stories I used to hear, like on the Merv Griffin show or whatever. And I always thought they were bullshit stories until you experienced them. And like one of them is the, hey, didn't you used to be? Oh yeah, which I'm getting now, even though this thing's only a year and a half old. Hey, you still hosting HQ?

Do you still, you used to be, you still, yeah, I'm still doing it. I gotta do it tonight. It's like, it's been, but you're still doing it. But I'm telling you, that's how fast our society moves now. I'm a nostalgic actor already. I was co-headlining with Dave Coulier at a college gig.

He, you know, he, he's, he's, I mean, that show's 30 years old, my thing's a year old, and I'm already, the two of us are doing the nostalgic circuit. That's great. You'll be opening for Pat Cooper. Yeah. Any day now. Talk about, tell us a little bit about Running Late,

which is a show Gilbert and I have been on. Twice. Because before HQ came into your life. Right, that was my. You had aspirations to be a talk show host. Yes. You still do. Gilbert aspires to masturbate in public. I aspire.

I aspire to be a talk show host. I understand. I've achieved my goal. Catch up, buddy. On the M59 bus, just last week. Yeah, I've been doing running late since 2011, which is starting to seem like a long time ago now. And it's a live talk show I do in the city

with my dad as the sidekick. Your dad Marty, wonderful guy. How did your dad happen to become the sidekick? Because he works for free. No one else is willing to do it. You know, I asked. It's a novelty to have my dad, your dad as a sidekick.

He's sort of familially obligated to do it. And I have my aunt or uncle fill in when he can't make it, keep it in the family. But you know, it's a chance for him to see me too, cause he doesn't, he comes in from Westchester and now we're going weekly with it, starting in February. Where are you gonna do it? At Subculture.

Oh great. Which is a great venue on Bleecker and Lafayette. Wonderful. And maybe we might even have it televised and distributed. We're still working out all that, but in the meantime It'll be a live show Thursday night to 1030 a real late night slot. Well, mr. Brazil be involved He will definitely be involved Alex. We love you. Yeah, so I'm will have you guys back on that too because you're always reliable

Had you asked me a week ago I could have have cleared stuff up, but now I'm. Everybody is just like, excuse me, oh, what is it? May 16th, oh, I've got a funeral that day. Yeah. My uncle told me a story when he was trying to go on a date with a woman a couple of weeks out, and she told me she had a funeral to go to.

Who? Funerals don't happen weeks out. She was planning one. Yeah. She had one in the works. Tell us some of the people we've been on. Our friend Richard Kind, our friend Craig Piero. So many crossover guests with you guys.

And people we don't know. And people you haven't been able to book. That's right. John Hamm. John Oliver. We haven't tried for John Hamm. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd's a friend of Gilbert's.

I go people who still have a heartbeat in a normal ring. Oh, what's that about? Yeah. They're not on like Coreg-egg or hypertension medication. My guests are usually under 50. Although you've had Kavan and Dan Rather. Yes, yes. Dan Rather, you should have Dan Rather.

Oh. Dan Rather gonna hit the sweet spot for this show? He's sort of not really an entertainment figure. But he's on television for 40 years. That's true, we can talk about the JFK assassination. And he's got his own interview show on Axis TV now. I think we might try to get there rather. I think you should.

We're trying to get Douglas Fairbank. Douglas Brinkley. Eric Severide. Who else have you had? I mean, yeah, geez. John Oliver. Amy Sedaris. Chris Elliott.

Chris Elliott, oh, the Elliott family. I was the first person to have, I had Chris Elliott, his daughters, Abby and Bridie together in the same show. We should do a Father's Day show. Yeah, we had the Cogans, that was cool. We loved having the Cogans. But I've had Anna Quinlan, the author, to I've had like, you know, sex bloggers,

which I'm sure you'd love to have on this show. I think there was one on the night we were on at the Gramercy Theater. Possibly, yes, Carly Shortino. Shared the dais with us. But I mean, I try to, like Deezus and Mero and the Broad City Girls and the high maintenance creators, Ben and Katya, like I try to get the up and coming.

We know nothing about that. The vanguard of comedy and entertainment. But I love talking to people. Larry Storch is up and coming for us. Yeah. But some of my favorite. Yeah. These kids and their talking movies. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to help to this show. And I head out in LA thanks to you guys, Dick Gutman. Oh my God. I had Star Flacker.

Tell us about Dick Gutman. Dick Gutman, and you know Bruce Whites, who's a character actor. Sure, Hill Street Blues. Who was another, okay, I should say not related to me, but his mother and my grandmother were best friends. Love it. And so Bruce Whites is a family friend,

and yeah, Hill Street Blues. Now, Bruce Whites also, you know, they had the movie with- Star 80. Yeah, Hemingway. I know where he's going. I always know where he's going. Now Bruce White also, you know they had the movie with Star 80 Yeah, Hemingway I know where he's going, I always know where he's going Yeah, Eric Roberts You're talking about the TV version with Jamie Lee Curtis

Yes, and Bruce White played the Schneider He played the Eric Roberts role Yeah, the crazy boyfriend movie Of Dorothy Stratton Good. Of Dorothy Stratton. Good actor. Yeah? Yeah, he's going. He was in another show that was a big, had a big network.

He's a Jew. Mother in me or something. Hey, don't talk over me. Bruce Weitz is a Jew. He's definitely a Jew. Yeah, and his mother, Sybil, was a... Now you can go ahead with your bullshit. Tell us an anecdote about having somebody on the show, a fun anecdote.

Anything about Richard? We love Richard. Oh, Richard. I mean, Richard... I saw the one with Bierko and Jon Hamm. I thought that was one of your best shows. That was a great show. And Jon Benjamin. Benjamin, as funny as hell. So funny. We'll get Jon Benjamin here and then you'll read your words.

We definitely should get Jon Benjamin. He's under 60. And we had John Katz. We had John Katz. We'll get John Benjamin here, and then you'll read your words. You definitely should get John Benjamin. Yeah, he's under 60. And then we had John Katz. We had John Katz. Yeah, John Katz. We adore him. He's a director from Boston. But Richard Kind, I mean, I asked him, I said, Richard, have you, you know,

he was doing Second City, of course, back in the day. And I said, you know, a lot of his, Julie Lee Dreyfus, all these, Brad Hall, a lot of his castmates went on to do SNL. And I said, Richard, have you ever, did you ever consider doing SNL or auditioning for it? He's like, you know, that's a very good question that I'd be happy to answer on a different show.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. But I don't think anyone ever asked him that, but you know. We love him to death. Yeah, but he's like my Orson Bean, I told him. I wanna be my Orson Bean. He wants to be our Tony Randall on the podcast. We were interviewing Mario Cantone. Oh, he's the one I want to be my or she wants to be our Tony Randall. Yeah on the bucket. We were interviewing Mario Cantone. Oh, he's the one I need to get and and and Richard kind was calling from a plane Did you hear the Mario Christmas show this year? I missed this you gotta get on it. Yeah

So I got into a big yelling match with Mario about Sucking cock and whose cock would he suck and blah, blah, blah. And all this while, Richard Kind is on a plane and he panics because it's so loud. He was supposed to call in from a plane. How did he do that? Because the timing didn't work out. He was supposed to call in to argue with Mario about which cocks he wants.

No, about a rank and bass Mr. Magoo Christmas special. So Richard Kind panics and he turns to the guy next to him and he says, did you hear that? And the guy says, the guy in the bathroom in the back of the plane heard that. Poor Richard. If we could plug Richard Kine, Big Mouth,

have you seen Big Mouth on Netflix? No. This is the funniest show out there, I don't know if you've called it TV, whatever it is, but Netflix. I wasn't even aware of it. There are two seasons of it, created by Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, who are, I know they're too young for you really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Richard- We know who they are. But Richard Cun, it plays the father of John Mulaney's character, and he is the star of the show, I think. He is, he steals it. He is so- He's great in everything. You see him in the Coen Brothers picture? So fun, oh yeah. In Serious Man? A Serious Man. But this is an animated show the show, I think. He steals it. He is so- He's great in everything. You see him in the Coen Brothers picture?

So fun, oh yeah. In the- Oh, in the- Serious Man? A Serious Man. Fantastic. But this is an animated show. It's a voice acting, and it is just hysterical.

He's a funny- So check out Big Mouth on Netflix. I love how he says here, he says, ah, you can't really book me, don't call me. Just, if somebody drops out, call me at a minute's notice, I'll come and do the show. But you can't plan on having me. It's hilarious. I love Rich. I saw him at But you can't plan on having me. It's hilarious.

I love Rich. I saw him at a Mets game holding these bags. Looks like he's homeless. Walking around like holding these bags. You and Gilbert, like the homeless celebrities of New York. What they're doing to play the Collier Brothers. Richard and Gilbert in a TV movie. The funny thing is, is like, you know, I'm known for going into places and I'll take cans of soda for going into places and I'll take cans of soda and chocolate and everything like that from like places I work at now fill my bag with it and a couple of times when people have caught me I said yeah I'm a big snore I like and and I

they would oh they are about four places said to me, oh, well, you've got nothing on Richard Kind. They say you're strictly in the amateur links. Yeah. You should team up. This may be the last time Richard does the show. At this point, his last appearance maybe. His farewell.

He may be my favorite person on this planet. Yeah, we love him to death. And you know, every show, he's like shot out of a Roman candle. He gives us a great show. He's argumentative. His opinions are so strong. He's the perfect talk show guest. And I cannot understand for the life of me why he doesn't,

why it's Fallon and Myers don't bend over backwards to have him on. And every time, you know, doing a show like this, sometimes you get tired and you get worn out and your confidence flags. And then there's that email from Richard every six weeks out of the blue telling us how the show is changing his life and keep, and this is great and I love this one. And he's helping us book. He's brought us people.

He's been, he's really been a godsend. He's terrific. Yeah, we adore him. Last thing, what's gonna happen now you're gonna start doing these weekly? Yeah, well, running late, yeah. Weekly starting, yeah, February 21st, we have our first show scheduled with Katie Tur, MSNBC.

Sure, I know who she is. You know, we try to go beyond just showbiz. Of course. Incorporate, like I said, authors. You're a man of many interests. Yeah, if you're interesting, I wanna talk to you. That's sort of the metric. And musicians and comedians, so we'll definitely have you back.

But yeah, Subcultures, Thursday nights, check it out. We're gonna be doing this weekly and really building up. We wanna create a scene here. Did you tell Cavit that you've learned, because I know he's an influence as far as a talk show host. Did you tell him you learned from him? Oh, gosh, I mean, Cavit, I'm on Running Late twice. And that was one of my favorite jokes I've ever told to a guest.

Because I said this was true, I had an ex-girlfriend who, for my birthday, paid $150, actually $300 for the two of us, to see Woody Allen play at the Carlisle Hotel. You know, he does his jazz. And I wanted to, I just wanted to be in the room with Woody Allen, he's such a huge fan. And so I said to Dick Cavett, I had him, I said,

my ex-girlfriend paid $300 for us to see Woody Allen. I'm just curious, how much does Woody charge you to hang out? And I thought that was one of my better quips. And I made Dick Cavett genuinely laugh. He really. Good for you, good for you. That's an accomplishment.

That was nice to see. And before we go, I also want to, I noticed in doing a little research that you get a shout out to Gilbert. You were on a YouTube, you're being quizzed about classic game shows and somebody asked you a question about Hollywood Squares. Oh yeah. Does this ring a bell?

You fool! Yes! Oh! That's classic. There was a nice Gilbert shout out. And we've had Gilbert shout outs at HQ and actually I wanted to- Do tell.

Maybe ask you guys some of the questions we've asked on HQ. Are you ready for that? You know what I think? Okay. Hey Alex, do we have time to do a second one of these? He's gotta go. Right now?

Okay, go ahead, three questions. Okay. Well yeah, we could do another one. We'll do another show down the road. This will be a preview. So these are some questions that we've actually asked on HQ. I also wrote my own. Maybe we'll do that one another time.

Yeah. So let's start somewhat easy like HQ and get a little harder. So here's one. What monster role, other than Frankenstein's monster, was Boris Carlo famous for playing? The mummy. There you go. I don't have to give you the options.

OK. Alfred Hitchcock earned a Best Director Oscar nomination for which of these movies? Vertigo, North by Northwest or Rear Window? Rear Window. Correct. Gilly Burch. Fuck. Okay. But only one of his movies ever won Best Picture. Yeah. Rebecca. Rebecca. Here's one that name checks. Gilbert, what classic comedian voices the seagull Scuttle in Disney's The Little Mermaid? Gilbert Godfrey, Buddy Hackett or Rip Taylor. Ah, Buddy Hackett?

It's Buddy Hackett. Gilbert, you're on a roll. This is what I do. Should we do a real hard one here? Yeah, is there a cash payoff at the end of this? Aye, oh God. There should be. How about this one?

Who is the only actor to win an Oscar for playing a character named Oscar? Do you need the options? The three, I'll give you. Okay. All right, I'll give you three options here. Edmund O'Brien, Charles Lawton or Melvin Douglas? Edmund O'Brien.

I'm gonna say Melvin Douglas. Gilbert is on a roll again. Edmund O'Brien won best supporting actor for Oscar Muldoon in 1954's Joseph Mankiewicz's The Barefoot Contessa. Wow! Gilbert, did you write these? These are great.

These are written by the HQ Trivia, yeah. Wow, I'm impressed. Yeah, shout out to our Josiah and all writers there. Thank you guys. Yeah. So I got 100 on this. You got 100 of it. Here, you won my baseball card.

Yes. I'll even sign it for you. Wow, I am so proud. Nice work, Gil. He's got to go do HQ trivia, but we will have him back. I wrote my own trivia based on- Because we barely scraped the surface. Stop stealing my bits.

Can I ask you one that I wrote? Go ahead. Okay, this is cool. Uh-oh. This is cool. What was the name of the first Ed Sullivan hosted variety show on CBS? Talk of the town, Toast of the Town.

Toast of the Town, okay. And the corollary follow-up, which duo did not appear on the debut of that first Ed Sullivan program, June 20th, 1948, Rogers and Hammerstein, Rossi and Martin, or Martin and Lewis? Rogers and Hammerstein? Who did not appear. or Martin and Lewis? Rodgers and Hammerstein? Who did not appear.

Yeah. That sounds like a safe bet. Yeah. Rodgers and Hammerstein. Rodgers and Hammerstein did. Rossi and Martin did not. And Martin and Lewis, that was their big break. Wow.

Rossi and Martin didn't start till 57. Rossi and Alan. Alan and Rossi. That's okay. Yeah, Rossi and Alan. Rossi and Alan. I was wondering if it was like, if Dean Martin teamed up. He could have. With Marty Allen at one point, Rossi and Allen. I was wondering if it was like, if Dean Martin teamed up with Marty Allen at one point.

Rossi and Allen. These are great! Allen and Rossi. Allen and Rossi. Geez, I gotta... Yeah, that's okay. That first line, by the way, that first bill on that first Ed Sullivan show, 1948, it was a concert penis Eugene List, dancing girls dubbed the Toastettes, singing New York fireman John Kokoman,

Rodgers and Hammerstein, dancer Catherine Lee, a fight referee named Ruby Goldstein, and Martin and Lewis. Amazing. How about that? Oh, boy. What a bill. This is fun. Yeah. You'll come back, you'll ask us more questions,

we'll do more stuff. I'll do my research. That's okay, we'll tell more anecdotes, you'll have more running late shows to talk about. Yeah, there's always more to talk about. And we'll do more stuff. I'll do my research. That's okay. We'll tell more anecdotes. You'll have more running late shows to talk about. Yeah, there's always more to talk about. And we'll do it again. And maybe a new Jew will pop up until by then. Well, you know, aside from Barbara Bach, who was a Jew bun girl, do you know who the other

Jew bun girl was? Oh, God, you mentioned this. Well, Denise Richards isn't Jewish, is she? No, I don't think so. Pussy goldfarb? Yeah. No, Jane Seymour. Oh, yes. She's a bond girl. Yes, he's right.

And there's two Jew bond villains. One, of course, Joseph Wiseman was Dr. No. The other one is a weird one. And that's a black actor, Yaffit Koto, who is in fact a Jew. Wow. Yeah, Kananga and Lilith Letai. Too much information. I love it. Throw these into the HQ.

We'll do this, yeah. Too bad. You have our permission to use these. Too bad the HQ demo doesn't quite match up with yours. What are you trying to say? I'm just saying. Gilbert, let's let this man go. He's got, he's got HQ to do.

Tribute to deliver. Okay. This has been a Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions with someone who I'm still not sure what he actually does. I host HQ tribute, download it for free on your phone, play it every night at 9pm, we give out money to answer questions. And running late.

And running late. Scott Radowski. Rydowski. Close. You're now Scott Radowski. Scott. Let's scrap the whole thing, let's just do it again. From the top, from the top, I got Rossi and Martin,

you're saying Scott Radowski. Just wipe it clean out, delete it, in the trash can.