Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Rewind: Episode #3: Larry Storch

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Gilbert and Frank visit the Manhattan apartment of 91-year-old comedy legend Larry Storch to talk about his days in nightclubs and burlesque, his gift for accents and dialects, his decades-long friendships with Tony Curtis and Don (“Get Smart”) Adams and his memories of everyone from Lucille Ball to Orson Welles. Also, Larry shares some of his all-time favorite jokes and joins the boys for an impromptu (and practically on-key) rendition of the “F-Troop” theme. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From the creative team behind the Brutalist and starring Academy Award nominee Amanda Seifred in a career best performance, Searchlight Pictures presents The Testament of Anne Lee. With rave reviews from the Venice Film Festival, this bold and magnetic musical epic tells the story inspired by a true legend. Anne Lee, founder of the radical religious movement, The Shakers, The Testament of Anne Lee. Exclusive Toronto engagement January 16th in theaters everywhere January 23rd. Fans of Ghostbusters. Oh, I don't mean the movie, I mean the TV show. You see, years ago, there was a TV show called Ghostbusters

way before Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd put on their ghost protection backpacks. He was also on a wildly successful TV show called Eftru. He also would appear on all of variety shows at the time. doing imitations and wild accents, he would appear in movies, millions of movies, doing the most eccentric crazy characters. And ladies and gentlemen, we have him here today. A man who also appeared in a movie that's a favorite of mine, the aristocrats. So ladies and gentlemen, the great Larry Storch. So here,

with the star of F-Droop, and more importantly, the star of Ghostbusters. The original Ghostbusters. The original Ghostbusters, way before Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, the original Ghostbusters,

and my co-star in the Aristocrats. This man was in the Aristocrat. Ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome my good friend Larry Storch. Thank you so much. I'm very glad to be with all of you. Fire away anything I can help you with. Why?

Fire away. Go ahead. Now, you were, I think, discovered by, like, a comic actress, a great comic actress. Oh, Lucille Ball? Yes. Oh. Lucille Ball?

ball is my fairy godmother. Right after the wall was over, I was hitchhiking home to New York in the uniform, and in those days, you had no trouble at all if you were in uniform with that thumb up in the air wanting a lift. And so happened that Phil Harris picked me up, and he was driving to Palm Springs, and he said, what do you do, kid? I said, I'm going to try to get back into show business. what do you do? Voices, oh, yeah. Who do you do? Well, I said,

Frank Morgan, who was very popular in those days. And, old Jimmy Cagney, you dirty rat, I'm going to give it to you just like, you know, and to carry grants

and all that stuff. Well, he turned the car around and he came back, and I said, no, no, no, no, I want to go to New York. No, no, kid. You're coming back to Hollywood

with me. And he took me to Cyril's Nightclub and Lucille Ball was sitting in the corner, an empty nightclub, and her husband, Desi Arnaz, was going to open the next

night, and Phil Harris said, do a couple of voices for Lucille. I did. She said, get out of the sailor suit, be here tomorrow night at 8 o'clock, get yourself a blue suit, and the show starts at 8.

And that was the beginning of a new start after the war. And Lucille Ball did it all. And Phil Harris. Oh, boy, I loved him. He was a regular in the Jack Benny show. Of course.

And he sang Bear Necessities. In Jungle Book. In Jungle. That's right. That's right. And he was a great entertainer. And now, speaking of World War II, you were on a submarine with who? Tony Car, Submarine Tender.

That's a ship that can repair submarine. in the middle of the ocean. And it was called the Proteus. And I told him that I'd been in show business, and he said to me, I'm going to be a great star someday. I'm going to be a great actor someday. And I said, now, listen, kid, do you like starving?

Do you think you'd like that? Did you get used to it? And why? I said, listen, it's a tough racket. And if you need any help at the end of this war, you can always find me in variety. Any hope it or call me. Well, don't you know, two years later, I'm on the phone.

Hey, Tony, it's me, it's Larry. Have you got anything out there for me? Yeah. And sure enough, he did. It was a play that I was in called Who Was That Lady? I do the Russian character in this play. once he needs Russian for the motion picture

so he gave me a job in Hollywood just by well here and I'm advising him get out of the racket if you need any help call me you made how many movies with Tony Curtis

40 pounds of trouble who was that lady the great race several I mean he gave you more than one oh yeah I didn't need an agent when Tony Curtis was was looking out for me, you know. I love that boy, really. We should say, too, that Gilbert and I are sitting in Larry's apartment,

a block from where he grew up, and he's showing us some art that Tony did, a caricature that Tony did, or a portrait that Tony did from the set of the Great Race in 1964. Yeah, a great drawing of Larry Storch by Tony Curtis. Yeah, and I guess not a lot of people know that Tony was an artist. Oh, indeed he was. indeed he was

and when he wasn't fighting a war he was doing his artwork now now you also Larry gave me a tour of his apartment and you showed me a towel

by the wall and okay first of all would you mind telling the audience your age I'm 91 you're 91 and what is that towel for, you told me

that it's on the floor by the wall. You do every day. Oh, that's for a yoga. That's, I... About that. I stand on my head every day for ten minutes.

And the doctor said, well, don't quit then. I mean, if you... It's a blessing to be in the 90s. He said, watch it very carefully to be over 90 is a blessing and I guess it must be you know and I'm very happy to

be to still be around how long have you been standing on your head lar oh it's it got to be when I first thought I was about 20 in my early 20s and I've been doing it ever since every day for 70 plus years you've been standing on your head on a towel yeah incredible I I could barely walk into your apartment. Gilbert needed four people to carry him into the dining room. Yes, I needed help getting on the elevator. Now, also, you were friends with Buddy Hackett. Yes, sir.

And you once told Buddy Hackett that you were thinking of going to drama school. Well, Buddy Hacker said, drama school. Listen, that's like trying to learn to drive a car in your garage. Buddy Hackett, he was one of the... I love that boy. And he used to call you. Buddy Hackett, he would call any time day or night.

Three o'clock in the morning, my phone rings. He says, hey, Starch, you can't sleep with her, huh? Sturt, you know who this is? I said, yeah. It's Hackett. He said, how can you guess? How could you miss it?

How could you miss it? And you grew up with Don Adams, Maxwell Smart from Get Smart. Right. You were like little kids playing together. That's right. We lived practically on the same block. And so we did. We grew up together.

One block from here, from where we're speaking from now. That's right. Seventy Street. 77 Street. That's great. And later you worked with it. Don Adams. Yes, and on Get Smart.

And in Tennessee Tuxedo. Where you were the voice of Mr. Whoopi? That's right, yeah. Oh, Frank Morgan was Mr. Whoopi. And I remember doing a show with Flying Morgan on the West Coast. And over the loudspeaker just before we said, action. Someone over the loudspeaker said, Mr. Morgan, your fly is open. What was that?

Your fly is open, Mr. Morgan. And Frank Morgan said, oh, well, my flies, well, as the great Russian car once said, in the house of the dead, let all the windows be open. I used, when I was a kid, I used to watch Tennessee Tuxedo. And what was his sidekick, the walrus, his name? Chumley. Chumley.

That's right. Wow. That may have been the first time I, I, was exposed to Larry Storch, before F-Troop, probably Tennessee Tuxedo. Or get smart, speaking of Don Adams, when you played a villain on the show. You played The Groovy Guru.

Yeah. And we talked about it. I took a Louis Primel. And I did him for the guru, the groovy guru. And finally, at the end of the whole thing, Don Anderson, I know you're doing Louis Prima.

I said, yeah, I don't. let her get around, you know, keep the lit on it. And, and, yeah, Louis Prima, that was decades before David Lee Roth sang Just a Gigolo. That was his big year. Just a Gigolo, everywhere I go, people want to put on prayer. Pared for every dance, selling each romance, every now a hard between. Yeah, Louis, and I made that song, Firmus.

And now, F-troop, and we, both me and Frank, grew up watching F-trupe. In fact, we were singing the theme song on your balcony, Larry, full disclosure. The end of the Civil War was near when quite accidentally. A hero who sneezed, abruptly sneezed, retreat, and reversed into victory. Do you remember this? Sure, of course. Where Indian fights are colorful sights.

Nobody takes a lickin. Pale face and red skin both turned chicken. Good. That's great. To think I'd be hearing you sing that. I know I ought to charge for that. Now, on that, you worked with Forrest Tucker. Yes.

Now, if I can get into some more lascivious. Watch it, Larry. Forest Tucker, I heard, was famous for something Milton Burrell was famous for. They both stole jokes? No. Am I close? No, but that was a great answer. I heard they were supposed to both.

Milton Burl was known to be quite well endowed. And? And I heard Forrest Tucker was the other one. Now, I was never allowed in the room. So, I mean, I believe you, you're from me so. Now, did you know Forrest Tucker before after you? No. When I auditioned, Tucker took some producer aside,

the director. They said, I want Larry to be in my partner in F-Trope. And they said, all right, if that's what you want. And it worked out. Because on F-Troop, watching the two of you,

you worked like an old-time comedy team. Yeah. And to look at the two of you, you look like you had been doing this for years on the road. Yeah, the timing was great. It was like an Abbott and Costello, the way you were in.

After you work with somebody like that for quite a while, you really, it's almost like a marriage of actors, you know. And we got along great and I could never have made it without him. Yeah, he was like, it was a classic comedy team because Forrest Tucker was classic straight man. And you had like this silly, goofy, Aigorn. And F. Troop had a great cast.

We sure did. The Indian chief was a fellow named Frank de Kovar. Now, Frank de Kovar was Italian. Yeah. He played Wild Eagle. Yes, right. And he liked to,

he could rehearse his lines in Italian, which was wonderful. And, uh, Could you demonstrate him doing his lines in Italian? No, I really can't. Just to digress over a little bit. My favorite actor was always one of them, I thought Marlon Brando was the greatest.

And when I heard the Marlon Brando doing down calling the head of the mafia, I thought, boy, that sounds like some of the guys, some of the bosses that I've worked for in nightclubs all over the country. Wow. When I first opened up at the Copacabana, I was on the bill with Frank Sinatra. And I remember when I first came into rehearse, somebody met me at the door, and I said, I'm here to rehearse some jokes. and he said, this guy said to me, Nick Kelly, he called himself Nick Kelly.

Nick Kelly. He said, listen, kids, the jokes will take care of themselves. Can you drive a car? They said, yeah. You know New Jersey? I said, no, but if someone is sitting on the right-hand side, it says, take a left, take a right, take a... Yeah, I know New Jersey.

All right, you just been ready to drive. You know, that kind of stuff. In those days, the mob ran the Copacabana. And I heard the mob was actually, all performers around that time said the mob was really nice to them. Oh, they were. You know, everybody thinks if your jokes don't go, they sit in the front going to get da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

But no, these guys were the nicest bosses I ever worked for in my life. Yeah, I heard that. Like throughout Vegas and everything, they, like Martin and Lewis loved working for the mobsters. I saw, and so did I. I worked for them regularly in Vegas and at the Copacabana. So I really am in their debt. Did you ever hear weird stories about the mobsters, stuff that they kept out of the press? No, I can't say that I did.

I wish I could, but I didn't. Yeah, well, you can't say it now because they're all dead. So you can safely say. Larry, did you start in burlesque houses? Is that where it sort of all began? I was going, I was in high school. And there was an actor in downtown called the Radio Roads. Hells of Poppin at the Winter Garden Theater.

Someone took me backstage and said to these three guys, Jimmy Hollywood, Ed Bartell. Jimmy Hollywood. Jimmy Hollywood. I love it. And Sidney Chatton. They said, listen, this kid can do all kinds of impersonation. Anyway, they were at the Paramount Theater, and I'm in high school at DeWitt Clinton.

One of them gets there at the Paramount Theater. Can you fill in for him? I'm going to high school. Never mind high school. They'll get along without you. Can you fill in at the Paramount Theater? Well, I took three days old. off, I don't think I even told my mother, I would go down every day to the Paramount Theater

and fill in for Sidney Chatton, it was. And finally, the principal called my mother and me to high school. Why hasn't he been to school? And my mother said he's been at the Paramount theater. And that was my first job in front of people, not in a little of my minding girl. but the Paramo Theater. Well, I couldn't get over it. I thought I'd gone to heaven. And I said to my mother, oh, by the way, the principal said his record is lousy. You know, let him go.

Let him go if he wants to get out and he'll learn his craft. And that's what I did. I quit high school and I went to work in showbent. So the principal basically encourage you. Yeah, he said, let him go. his record is lousy. So he told you to drop out. Well, yeah, he encouraged it.

And going to showbiz. And my mother was so tearful. Oh, he can't, he can't. He can't do that. Lady, it's going to be helpful to him. And so I did. I dropped out of high school and I went right to work. Getting back to Hap Troop, you and Forrest Tucker became friends after that.

Yeah, yes. Oh, the closest of friends, he would drive into a nightclub. where I was working and sit in the front row and laugh as though he'd never heard those jokes before, you know. And so, yes, we were the very best of friends. And I heard a story that a director tried directing the two of you and something Forrest Tucker said to them. He said that he goes, don't direct us. I'm too old and Larry's too stupid. That's the nicest thing he could have said.

In those days, it was probably true. Well, Agarne's catchphrase on the show, if there was one, was who says I'm dumb? Who says I'm dumb? This is after 30 minutes. Who says I'm dumb? Yes. And everybody was on F-Tube, Larry.

I mean, Milton Burl, Harvey Corman, Phil Harris we talked about, Edward Earton, Don Rickles, played ball legal. Any memories? Specific memories of any of these guys? Oh, my word. Edward Everhaughton. He said, oh, my word. Larry, promise me something.

I said anything. Promise me you'll never grow old. You know. And one day, Edward Everhorton's, he was ill. And I did his voice. I did his voice. That's all I can tell you. Now, there was an actor on F Troop, and, you know, one of my favorite movies was of Mice and Men.

Was it Joe Brooks who played Vanderbilt? The near-sighted... No, no, no. Oh, I know you're talking about, the old Western actor. Yes, yes. He played Duffy. Yes. Is there any way anyone can look that out?

Was it Bob Steele? Yeah. Bob Steele. Yeah. Bob Steele was in the original of Mice and Men with Lonchaney Jr. I just have to tell you, just this one, do we have time for a fast one? Absolutely. Plenty of time.

All right. It's a wedding, a Mormon wedding in a little town called Dribble Creek, Utah. And Leroy Hachkis was going to marry nine women that morning that he had his eye on. And the preacher started the wedding and he said, do you Leroy Hachkis take these nine women? to be your lawful, wedded wives, and he said, I do. And he said, unto you girls. You girls take Leroy Hotchkis to be your lawful wedded husband. And they said, we do.

And the preacher said, some of you girls in back better talk up if you want to get in on this. That's a great one. I love that. Now, you told a version of the aristocrat with an English accent, Do you know about the family who goes into the talent agent's office? Well, I did quite a few English dialect. I mean, I like doing Cockney myself. You know, I mean, it's got more colour,

and I could have got more work if I'd let them all know that I can do Cockney, you know. And I thought, who was it? Did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? Or was he pushed? you know, so I love doing English dialects. Where did all the dialects and the accents come from, Larry? Because I've heard you say you wouldn't have worked so much if it hadn't been for that skill.

My mother ran a rooming house on 70 seconds, right up the block, for starving actors. She didn't plan it that way, but, you know, in those days you could starve, which a lot of them did. And anyway, the phone was on the very main floor, and these actors from Germany, from France, from England, and I could hear them care those dialects every day over the phone. And I would come into my mother and say,

Mom, does he sound like this? And I'd do the dialect whoever it was. And so I learned doing dialects with all these star in actors in my house, you know. And that's how I got most of my jobs because I could do the dialects. I mean, I remember you on TV in those days. You're a great impressionist. I love doing impressions, impersonations, you know, Claude Rains and all those fellows. And so, yes, I did.

Can you do a Claude Rains from Invisible Man? Well, Claude Rains spoke, you know, who's more or less on that style, Claude Rains, you know. And I can't, I don't hit them right on the head anymore, you know. but the dialects, but the English dialect always entranced me. Now, back then, it seemed like everybody on TV would do a Carrie Grant imitation, and everybody, it seemed like it was already accepted that Carrie Grant would always go, Judy, Judy, Judy. Well, now, I was working at the Tronk of their own nightclub.

And while I was on the floor, a waiter came up on the floor. And he whispered in my year, Judy Garland, has just walked in. And I didn't know what to say. And I was doing Carrie Grant. And I just, Judy, Judy, Judy, you know. I didn't know what else to say. So I just said, Judy. And somehow or other had caught on.

And the rest is history, I guess. It's just believed. It's Hollywood legend now that. somehow Carrie Grant said Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy, and it's Larry Storch that said Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Yes, right. And you said that Carrie Grant once said, admitted that he never said, Judy, Judy, Judy.

He said, I did say, you dirty rat. He said that I never said, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Because you dirty rats was what everybody who did a cagney imitation. said, you dirty rat. I'm going to give it to you just that you gave it to my brother, you know, that sort of thing. And so, yeah, I got away with that.

Yeah, because everyone who did James Cagney would say, you dirty rat. And he never said it. I remember John Biner doing a great Jimmy Cagney. Remember John Biner? Oh, yes, yes. I worked with John Biner on it. And

a lot of the TV that you did in the 60s, Larry, a lot of stuff. I mean, you were in the 50s. I mean, you were Charlie the drunk. On Car 54, where are you? I mean, I saw you, when I came of Jeannie, I remember you played a chimpanzee. Oh.

Could you talk about it? Yeah, well, keep the lid on that. Anyway, I did. I played the chimpanzee. I spent three days up in the top of a tree with a chimpanzee. and they said, do everything that the chimp does. I imitate the night before I did the chimpanzee,

the director put his arm around me and said, I want you to go home tonight and find the inner chimpanzee in you. We should explain. It was a chimp that was working in the NASA program. And as I recall, Jeannie brought the chimp to life. And you were the human persona, the human personification of the chimp. chimpanzee.

It was a very intelligent script. Well, I sat on that tree for three days with a chimpanzee. And I said, do it just like the chimpanzee. Was he at least a nice chimp? Oh, yeah, we got along really well. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. Now, then, like I said before, Way before anyone knew who Bill Murray or Dan Ackroyd was,

you starred in Ghostbusters. Well, yes, well, we only did two episodes of Ghostbusters, if I remember right. And you know, the gorilla was Bob Burns. Yes. Now, I didn't know him at all, and I didn't recognize him when he took his gorilla suit off. I didn't know who I was talking to. It was only way he climbed into his gorilla suit that I knew who I was talking to. It was you and Forrest Tucker, right?

Yes. And you and Forrest Tucker sang the theme song to Ghostbusters. It was a pretty horrible thing. But to hear you and Forrest Tucker sing. Now, do you remember what the name of your organization was? Spencer Tracy and Kong. That's right. Spencer Tracy and Kong.

That's great. Yeah, I know. Bob Burns is like a massive... He specializes in gorilla suits, he always. And he's a massive collector of old horror. Before Rick Baker became the master of the gorilla suit it was Bob Burns. I see. I didn't realize.

that. Larry, you did a lot of variety shows, too. You did Sunny and Cher and laughing and Hollywood squares and Playboy After Dark and Hollywood Palace and the Tonight Show and the Sullivan show and the Steve Allen show. Any particular memories about Steve Allen or Sullivan or Jackie Gleason? Jackie Gleason. Jackie Gleeson gave me the show in 1950 and he said, Larry, I'm going to leave out Connie with you. He said, we're on live. Thousands of people are watching. Not millions.

In those days, we couldn't get use of the idea that millions were wild. Thousands of people are watching. We're on live. So just don't say, you know, we're on live. And anyway, he said, you know, they asked me, what did I think was good in bed? I don't know what's good in bed. to me when the three of us don't fight that's good in bed

what was Gleason like Larry because we've heard conflicting stories from different people who worked for him he was very nice to me he was and he had a you know that he had a great memory but someone told me that he rehearsed by himself

his lines all by himself so that he would he would really get the reputation of having a very sharp memory. But he that's the way he did it. Now, was Jackie Gleason

a good boss to have? I only, I only met him just that one or two days. But yes, he was very nice to me, yes. Now, oh, I, now with speaking, getting back to Bob Burns,

Larry Storch and Bob Burns will be doing son of Monster Palusa. Wow. in September, in the rubber room. We've been handed a plug. Yes. You're working with Bob Burns again.

A plug that you don't know about. A plug that's news to Larry. Yes. The only person doesn't know about this is Larry, who's going. So you're going to have to pick out a shirt to wear. It was just happened to me. Okay. Now, you had a great John Barrymore story.

John Barramar was in court. And they said, hand on the Bible, your name, occupation. And John Baramore said, my name is John Baramore. My occupation, I'm the world's greatest actor. After the trial is over, he went out, he left the courtroom, and his sister and brother, Ethel and Lionel jumped on him, and they said to him, how dare you say a thing like that, that I'm the world? How could you say a thing like that?

And John Bettermore said, remember Ethel? I was under oath. That was great. Now, you must do an Ed Sullivan imitation. on our show on our show tonight let's really hear it out there for Will Jordan

who's going to do a great impression for me and anyway I was doing this in a show and I completely forgot that I was in the show I was breaking the fourth wall. The audience started to laugh and I thought I was in a nightclub

again but here I was on stage and the audience was laughing and I kind of turned away and, you know, broke the fourth wall. You know, you're not supposed to look like you're in a nightclub if you're on stage. And Annie Meera, God bless her, she gave me hell for it. You know, I deserved it, too, and I never did it again. Do you remember the name of the show? It was called Afterplay.

After Play. Yeah, and it was in New Brunswick, in New Jersey. You did a lot of theater. You did Slive Fox with Richard Drive. You did, and you were, Gilbert and I are fans of arsenic and old lace. And, of course, Karloff was in the original. Arsenic and old lace. And you, did you play Professor Einstein, Dr. Einstein?

I was Einstein in that one, yes. To Abe Vagodas. Abe Vigoda. Was he your sidekick? Oh, God. Was he Jonathan, the, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, I can't remember. But no.

I can't. Stapleton was in the show? Gene Stapleton was in the show quite right. And I had a wonderful time on that one. What was it even but again? Arsenic and all lays. I just got inside information that it was Jonathan Frid.

Jonathan Frid. From dark shadows. We just passed away. Yeah, Barnabas and Dark Shadows. Another favorite of mine when I was a kid. Because it was a soap opera with monsters. So you played the Peter Lorry part. Peter Lorry played the part in the film with Carrie Grant

that Frank Kapper directed, and you were in the stage version. Right. You played Dr. Einstein. Did you do a special voice for that? Do you remember? It was German, but I don't remember the exact voice tone. But it was a German accent that I used. And can I tell you a fast joke?

Of course. Oh, sure. Tell us a slow joke I don't have to tell a joke Did you hear those laughs? Yeah, let's hear it Yes, please Oh, it was a director

In Hollywood A very famous director And very wealthy director But he had one bad habit He was a kleptomaniac And as wealthy as he was He couldn't refrain from He was a victim of it

And so they brought a professor from Dr. Egelhoff from Berlin to help cure this director of kleptomania. And after two weeks of intense treatment of kleptomania, this German brother, Dr. Egelhoff says, you are absolutely cured of kleptomania. You can be sure that you will never again fall victim to kleptomania.

to kleptomania. Oh, by the way, if you feel a relapse coming on, pick up a toaster for me. That's a great joke. What are some of your favorite jokes? Do you remember some? Oh, there might be too long to tell. There's a great one.

I saw Larry recently. We should say that a mutual friend of Gilberts and mine is Drew Friedman, who did the wonderful portrait of you of the Society of Illustrators. And we saw you there, and you told a joke, if I could get you to tell it again, it was the joke about the Arab and the Israeli guy on the plane? All right. Can we do this? Sure.

All right. It's a transatlantic flight to the troubled Middle East, to the explosive Middle East, and seated on the plane next to each other, an Arab and an Israeli. It's very cold, very cold. and they wrap blankets around themselves. They take their shoes off, and they're flying. And at one point the Arab turns to the Israeli, and he said, would you, my friend, from Israel, find the goodness in your heart

to go to the back of the plane and bring for me back, please, an orange juice, since you are seated on the aisle? The Jewish guy says, my Arab friend, it will be by me, my place. I shall be back into sheikhs of a lamb's tail. Goes to the back of the plane, comes back with the juice. The Arab drinks down all the juice. And then he says to the Jewish guy, while you are gone, I spit in your shoe.

The Jewish guy said, spit in the shoe, pissing the juice. When will it end? It's a wonderful joke Larry, you do all kinds of dialects and all kinds of accents If we threw some at you just generally If we said, you know, Indian Like the character you did an SOB

Oh, Indian Well, I do it Two Indians All right General George Armstrong Custer At the banks of the little Big Horn River The night before the great Indian Battle

And on the other side of the little big horn river, where the great was a hundred or thousands of Indians and the great chiefs, spitting bull, Geronimo, crazy horse. And of course, the Indian drums, you boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And George Armstrong Custer said, Drums, drums, I don't like to sound. those drums. And from across the river, an Indian

hollered back, he ain't our regular drummer. Any joke with an Italian accent? An Italian accent. No, I was always afraid to tell an Italian joke because when I worked for the mafia,

you'll never know. You know, I was going to... If I think it went along the way, I'll pop it in. How about Swedish? You do a Swedish accent or a Swiss? Well, I was doing sweet. I can do that, but I don't have any. That wasn't a very popular dialogue with Americans, you know.

Right, right. Did I do a Spanish joke for you? No, no, please. This was a, it was a, it was a young person. He says in Spanish Harlem, a young person on Monday morning takes his two fingers and he puts them in his eyes and he says, Mama, I don't want to go to your mom. I don't want to go to school to them, Mama. I don't like the kids and I don't like the teachers. I don't want to go to school to their mama. And his mama says, but Jesus, don't you give me that crap. You're going to school today. You're 31 years old and you're the principal. Any other jokes with a Jewish accent? With a Jewish accent.

One time at a very elegant party, at a very elegant party on the east side while the party is going on, Mozart is being played in the background. And as the party ends and Mozart dines, that just one woman says, Mozart. I know that boy. I know that boy. I see him every morning. He takes the number five bus to the beach. As they're driving home that night, the husband can contain himself no longer. And he says, you had to open up your damn frass. That means mouth. You had to open your damn frass. Let everybody know how stupid you are. You know, you know. You know, the number five bus doesn't go to the beach. Do you have any with a French accent?

Not offhand. If I think of something in French, I will... And any other with a Jewish accent. No, I'll probably think of something along the way, but just keep going. Larry, let me ask you about music. You've been playing the saxophone for years. I love to blow saxophone. Yes. And you still play?

I go down to the park with the sacks every morning when it's when weather is right. And I blow for a couple of hours down in the park. So you just walk to like what Riverside Drive? Yes, quite right. And you just take your sacks and you sit on a park bench

and blow. You said that when you play the saxophone then you're playing with the gods. You're hobnobbing, they say. you're hobnobbing with the gods when you, any kind of music at all as long as you're in music, you're hobnobbing with the gods.

What do you remember about the great race, Tony, which we talked about before? Jack Lemon. Where you played Texas Jack, we were talking about it as one of a film that I'm really, that I've always been in love with. You were, it was Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon and Keenan Winn and you had this wonderful short scene as Texas Jack, this tough guy that comes in

and just turns a saloon upside down. Give me some fighting room. Give me some fighting room. That's it. And every time he says, give me some, somebody clips him in the jaw and knocks him flat. Right. But I did that about eight or nine times.

Give me some fighting room. They gave me fighting room. And I kept giving a, this is a visual joke. You can't. You can't. But, shoot, Dorothy Provine was your, if you guys haven't seen the great race,

We recommend it. Blake Edwards directed it, and it's a wonderful comedy. It's an homage to old movies. I suppose so, yeah. And that's one that Tony Curtis called you in for. Tony was, he was

like a brother. We were like brothers. He called me on every someone said you don't need an agent as long as Tony Curtis is your friend. And that's the way it was with Tony Curtis. you do a Tony Curtis imitation? No.

No. I'm afraid you got me there. Okay. Well, first, I mean, this amazes me because here's Larry, 91, and

he said, can we do it this day? Because I have a plug. And I thought that was great. Okay. On Thursday, June 26th at 6 p.m. Larry's friends are throwing a comedy show fundraiser at Stand Up New York to pay for Larry's star on the Palm Springs Walk of Stars.

For tickets visit StandUpnew York.com or to donate visit gofundmey.com.com. slash storch star. Storch's Star. Gofundme.com slash Storch's Star. So you're going to get a star on the Walk of Fame in Palm Springs. Well, I'm very honored because I'll be in there with some great company. So it is a great honor.

and I appreciate it. Didn't you receive another honor recently, Larry? You were named the mayor of Fort Lee, honorary mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey. Yeah, I was the mayor. And you know, while I was in office, while I was in office, there was no crime.

No crime at all. Nothing. No crime. It opens up a new door for me. Is it possible? that politics I could be a great politician, you know

and I always think of Mount Rushmore were all of the great statesmen who was it Lincoln Jefferson Woodrow Wilson but I also think just remember before these

guys were great statesmen just remember baby they were all politicians You know what I'm joking about? You're more politicians, really. I never forgot that. Do you have any other jokes? I love your jokes.

Well, keep talking, I'll come back to me. Moses is coming down from the mountain with the commandments under his arm. And a million Jewish people meet him. Mo, Mo, you talk with him. Mo, what was it like? Mo, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Moses said to everybody, shut up, all of you.

He wanted 13. I got him down to 10. Oh, yes. Pussy Green. Someone has yelled from the... That's a long, quite a... From the peanut gallery. It's okay.

We got faith. Yeah. Her name was Pussy Green to hear. Red hair. Green eyes. the soul of a monkey. Sex, incarnate. And she went through every town,

destroying all of those. And finally, one guy in church, Father, forgive me, Father, it wasn't my fault. It was Pussy Green, Father. Pussy Green. She, I burn in hell.

I'll burn in hell. I know I will, Father. I'll burn in hell. At that minute, the church doors open up. It can only be pussy green, lipstick, a cigarette dangling from her lips, red hair and the green eyes, a generous contribution into the poor box, and sashayed down the aisle to the very front row where she sat down, legs, a kimbo. The old priest was preaching, and suddenly he saw it. He stared and stared. And finally he called the young priest over and he said,

There, is that pussy green? And the young priest said, Know your eminence, it's just a reflection from the stained glass window. Oh, Christ, Christ walking through the desert comes upon the mom. about to stone Mary Magdalene to death. Mary Magdalene, the Jezebel of the Bible. And Christ raised one arm and said, Let him among you, who is without sin,

cast the first stone. And with that, a little gray-haired old lady in back of Christ, picked up rocks and started throwing them like a machine gun. Christ turned around so and hollered, Mom! This has been... I'm exhausted from laughing.

I am. Oh, oh. Two cannibals. Two cannibals. Two cannibals. Two cannibals in the jungles of Bujamburu. Two cannibals in the jungles of Bujumbooru. Both having lunch.

And one cannibal said to the other, I hurt my mother-in-law. A constant woman, I heard her mother-in-law. She made me sick to my stomach. And the other cannibal said, well, screw her, just eat the noodles. Do you remember it? Because I love these. We have the Larry Storge fan club here.

Sending jokes in from the gallery. Well, okay. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre, with the great Larry Starch, star of F-troop, the original Ghostbusters, and most importantly, my co-star in the aristocrats. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you again. Thank you. It's a treat, Larry. Thanks for doing it. Thank you.