Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Rewind: Episode #31: Danny Bonaduce
Episode Date: April 20, 2026Gilbert and Frank reach out to actor and radio personality Danny Bonaduce to talk about his role as the smart-alecky Danny Partridge on ABC's "The Partridge Family," guest spots on shows like “Bewit...ched” and “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir,” and his long, strange trip from child star to top-rated shock jock. Also: Danny meets a young Richard Pryor, bangs up Sonny Bono’s Porsche, runs afoul of an angry chimp and dukes it out with Donny Osmond and Greg Brady. PLUS: Ray Bolger! Whit Bissell! Shirley Jones sends Danny to his room! And David Cassidy displays his hidden “talent!” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.
I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopatra,
and our guest today is one of the few child stars
who actually grew up and made a success of himself.
He's an actor, a stand-up comic, a radio host,
a professional wrestler,
and the only one of our guests,
who's both a black belt and an ordained minister.
Welcome, Danny Partridge himself, Danny Bonaducci.
Wow, well, thank you, Gilbert. That was awesome.
Oh, thank you.
Welcome, Danny.
What's a pleasure.
I remember being on your radio show in Chicago.
Yeah, yeah, you were fantastic.
I mean, Gilbert has, I guess most people,
know this. When you have a celebrity,
it's kind of one thing on the radio, but when you have
a celebrity, everybody goes, the second you
open your mouth, oh, Gilbert Godfrey, that
guy that did this, and then that, and then this, that's
a home run every time.
Yeah, and I remember we
hung out afterwards and had
a wild time.
Yes, yes, we did.
Care to talk about it?
You know, I'm
sitting right here next to my wife,
but yes, yes, I
If you're going to dare me, I can't take up a miracle.
What the fuck?
I'm ready.
You just...
You know what?
I don't remember being that incredibly weird of a night, but I'm a weirder cat than most people.
I remember, we went out, somehow hooked up with this girl I know, and one or more of us may have had sex with her.
Yes.
And I remember.
And this is why I feel I have a real connection with you.
Because in the alleyway...
You know, when a story starts off in the alley...
I mean, when that's the beginning, when that's the mild part.
It was a wild night out that.
By the way, I have mentioned that to people all once or twice a year every year since.
You want to hear something weird, so me and Gilbert God are in and out.
You know, it's one that it warms up the troops.
I remember she bent over it in the alleyway,
and you inserted yourself.
Wow, was that in the alley?
I thought that was in somebody's house.
No, that was in the alley when it first started, yes.
And then she started to blow me.
And I was having.
And my erection was kind of a semi-erection because I kept looking at you.
Right, I was right there only a torso away.
Yeah.
So when you're standing there trying to get a blowjob and looking at Danny Partridge, it's really hard to keep an arrest.
Hey, well, can I just say this?
I got a boner right off the bat looking at Diago.
I remember I had a hotel room.
Right.
So we both went up there.
And you went first.
Oh, wow.
Look at me go.
Yeah.
You are my opening act.
What a great way to put that.
I remember I was doing one of those stupid celebrity moments I used to do.
And one was celebrity boxing.
And I'm doing the celebrity boxing stuff.
Yeah.
And do you know who?
Jose Canseco is.
Of course.
Oh, yeah.
He's like the biggest motherfucker
in the world.
And I'm standing in the ring
because he was being
of a bit of a bitch
and wouldn't make a sense
with it on time.
So I'm standing in the ring
and I'm 5 foot 6 and a half
by the way.
And so Jose Canstako
comes in 6 foot 6,
I believe.
You can check the sats on the side.
Comes in over the top rope
and I hear a ding and my hands
go up and I think,
hey, this is one of those
things you just don't see every day.
And didn't he outweigh you by about 100 pounds, Daniel?
About 100 pounds on the nose.
I weighed 165.
He'd weighed 265.
It's kind of a draw that one, wasn't it?
That was one of the...
I mean, I'm lucky to be alive, and I survived it,
and you look back on that stuff, and it seems kind of funny.
But, you know what, I've been through a lot.
I was in a high-speed police chase once,
and I was more afraid boxing Jose Cansego.
And I remember, too, when we were in the alleyway,
with our pants
zipped up
there was this one
you know
sleazy looking guy
who walked by
who was staring at us
and you turned around
and I mean
he was a big guy
and you go
what?
What?
What's your problem?
And you said like
you don't give a shit.
No, that's one of my problems
I often don't give a shit.
Boy, it's going to
going to be hard to talk about Danny Partridge after that.
Yeah, in the same way.
Even I don't look at myself the same way.
Now, here's a story I'm sure you're tired of talking about,
but I'd be remiss and not bringing it up,
and that's when you beat up a transfest night.
You know what?
I'm not tired of talking about that.
I love talking about that.
You know, it's funny that you say this, Gilbert.
When I just referenced the high-speed police chase that I was in,
it's because of that story.
It is?
Yes, all in the same.
Start from the beginning, Danny.
All right, all right.
So I will start from the beginning.
I go out, and this is, it's going to be a long story if you want at all,
but I go out to get a pack of cigarettes.
And the reason I know I'm only 880 feet from my house is because we had to measure it for court.
Like, Moyers were asking how far were you in?
So anyway, I go out to get cigarettes.
There's a girl standing on the corner, and she doesn't look like she's,
she looks like she's up to no good.
And I say, I don't know.
I don't really remember when I said hi.
Anyway, she ends up in my car.
$40 is exchanged.
I pull forward, because I don't want to be in the southern 11 parking lot.
I pull forward and I look at this girl and I think, hmm.
What's not right?
I don't know what it is.
Oh, I know.
You're a guy.
So I say, you know, I've been through a lot, Gilbert.
So I stay pretty calm.
And I just say, hey, man, there's been a mistake.
I'm no foul, but doing that $40 back.
And he says, he says, no.
And I said, what do you know?
And he said, you took me off my corner.
And I didn't know the rules.
So I go, fuck you, man.
Give him my $40 back.
And he won't.
And now, this gets to be the most expensive $40.
I just should have said, okay, keep it.
Get the fuck out, whatever.
But I didn't.
I, you know, I took real umbrage with this guy keeping my $40.
So it goes back if I go, hey man,
I was like $40.
Give me him a $40 and get out of my car.
And he won't do it.
So finally, I get up and I go around to his side of the car because, like, we're dating now.
And I open his door.
And I go, get out.
And he wants to, like, I pull him out of the car.
And he's really fucking big.
Like I said, I'm 5'4.6 and a half.
Almost everybody's bigger than me.
But this guy, maybe six feet, but 200, 210 pounds.
There's a lot of a girl guy here.
So I said, you know what?
This guy sells.
his butt every night of the week
in Phoenix, Arizona. I'll bet
he's had some harm times. I'm not going to
sit here and discuss this with him.
I just say, I'm going to get killed here.
So I punch him in the head as far as I can
possibly fucking go. He falls
down, and he starts
to immediately get up, and I'm screaming, and this is
just so bizarre. I'm screaming,
don't get up. I'm middle.
I'm a little guy.
Don't get up right now, and he starts it up.
I hear him again. It's all horrible, and
the cops pull up. And then
know the cops are there. There's a transvestite hooker on his ass in the street. It's just the most
fuck night ever. And I'm talking to these cops and I'm, and it occurs me, I'm really, as far as I can
tell, I'm being dead serious here. I haven't done any goddamn thing. There was a, you know,
a discussion over money and fees paid and whatever it was, but you wouldn't get on me. I hate them.
It's no big deal. I have no problems here. I look at the cops and they immediately, I could
sell. I could tell right away. They fucking hate it.
me. So I jumped
back into my car and I
hit the gas and this is a terrible
thing. Whenever you hear a guy
took, decided to run from the cops,
just kind of tell them no. You're never going to get
away. It's a shitty fucking idea every time.
So I will say
we're talking about the weirdest things that happened
in your life when I can actually
remember I'm in the car running
and the radio
news comes on and says
that there's a high speed chase. I'm listening
to the high speed chase I'm in
in the car, I'm driving, that's fucking weird.
I beat them to, I beat them to my house by about 10 seconds.
I run upstairs and I go to my bedroom, I'm laying down on the ground, and I strip off all my clothes.
I think they're not going to, you know, they're not going to beat up a guy that's naked on the floor.
There's, there's some reason to this.
And they kick in my door, they get in my house, I don't really remember how, but I go, oh, they're going to, they're going to kill me.
I can't hide here.
So I get up and I get in the closet.
it, and I pull all these dirty clothes over my head, and the cops come in, and they're looking
around with their flashlights, and they're musseling up stuff with their flat with their batons,
and they go to leave, and I think I'm going to get the fuck away with this, unbelievable,
and they look back around, and I don't know some of the clothes of it, but it's like the hair
is coming out of a zipper, I don't know what it was, but that was it.
They had me.
We criminals, I just say, hooked and book, and I was off to the police station.
So I could
I could see you feel very
uncomfortable talking about
You know what's funny
Because more people
Would be way more uncomfortable
Bringing it up
I love talking
That's a fucking
Sailsafep story
Who's got a better story than that
That's mine
I need someone
I have the bars like you
To bring it up
Now there was another time
You were when
I know you're very secretive
about your drug problem.
Right.
Yes.
So you and a friend,
I remember in your book,
you were sitting in a car
in the worst section of town
and these two guys robbed you?
Oh yeah.
I thought you were talking.
We were back in Chicago.
This was in Los Angeles.
I was just talking about this story to somebody.
We pulled up to this terrible part of town.
Now, I knew a guy.
I can talk about my book now.
I know a guy down there.
name is ghost. Who later on in this story gets fucking shot. But by the time I know him, I'm getting
robbed in all these different wrong streets in this one neighbor. Because that's the thing with
drug dealers. They're just as honest. And we, um, I go there with my buddy Dave. And, uh, this guy
starts acting a little bit rough with me. And he gives me what one guy gives me what I believe
to be crack. And I'm trying to get away to another guy grabs it. And this guy, this guy starts
biting me really hard.
Dave, we have to get out of here, and he just was super calm.
He goes, hey, hang on, man, I'm being robbed over here.
And somebody's got his gold chain pulled really tight and a racer blade at his neck.
So we all just kind of surrendered.
Here's the crack from my hand.
I don't know what you went from game.
And then we finally found ghosts who would sell to us every time until somebody shot him.
And then I heard they busted the tires in the car you were in.
You know what, that's right.
That is exactly right.
And I don't know what were we going to give twice a chase.
A couple of little white guys in crack neighborhood.
Hold it right down.
But yeah, yeah, they punctured all four of the tires.
I forgot about that.
And another time you are going to buy drugs from your pusher,
and you were like a block away,
and then somebody walked up to your pusher first.
Do you remember this?
No, somebody walked up.
And somebody walked up, and, you know,
shot, you pusher.
Right, no, that's that's ghost.
He's one street over.
Come on, Gilbert.
He's one street over from where I got lost because he just made it to ghost.
I actually saw him.
You know, it's a crazy world and the stuff we've kind of done.
See a real live guy whose name you know gets shot right there on the corner.
That was really, really weird.
And here's kind of a sad note on, well, drugs are just bad.
I think we can all agree on those.
But I ran away because, whoa,
They just killed a ghost, man.
We got to get out of here.
And that was my friend and all that.
And I was back in that neighborhood within 15 to 20 minutes, buying crack off the guy who shot him.
Wow.
Oh.
Yeah.
Talk about a bummer, huh?
And you were living with, like, some Asian hooker.
Millie.
How do you know on this stuff?
This greatest hits.
I was living with Millie in the Hollywood Hills.
hotel that doesn't exist anymore.
It's now the Hollywood Library.
When I say live, I wasn't there very long.
I mean, I wasn't getting my mail there, but I didn't have anywhere else to go.
Yeah, so I'm living with mail really, and I met her at a telephone booth because they had
those back then on Sunset Boulevard, like one block from her hotel, and she must have
been on the phone with somebody that she knows from Japan because she was speaking Japanese,
of course.
Well, I speak pretty good Japanese, to be honest with you.
I forget what it was, but I just want, you know, I just want to know somebody.
When you're a crackhead, you're out of, like, friends.
And so that's how I started to get to know her and started to live at the Hollywood Hills Motel with Lily, which I thought was weird.
That's obviously not her real name, but how much do you have to, you know, want to run away from your parents to pick an alias you can't pronounce?
She can't say, Millie.
Think about it.
Like Mary.
Right.
Riri, what the fuck are you talking about, Riri?
figure it all out.
Oh, me, Mary.
But yeah, yeah, that was, I'll tell you, speaking of,
this is fun to talk to you, Gilbert.
And I can prove I had to for legal.
I had to be able to prove all the things I claim in that book.
There's, you know, there's a lot of arrest reports and things like that in that, in that
book.
So, Lily and I had a falling out of sorts of years.
She said,
I wanted,
oh, no,
she wanted to use the room
for business.
And I said,
fuck you,
I paid for the room.
I'm not going to let you out
so you can work,
find some other place to work
and God's oldest profession.
You can do it anywhere.
And so she stormed out of the door
that she was going to go get this big guy
that ran the desk to kick me out.
And I thought,
well,
first of all,
I'm naked.
So that would be really,
I'm naked in a lot of my stories.
And I thought,
well,
that would be weird.
So I'm laying there naked
and my wallets on the night table
and things like that.
And he comes in the room and he tells me, he literally wants a room back.
I said, I paid for this, not my room.
So he just grabs all my shit and throws it out into a crack, infested a parking lot in Hollywood.
So I end up going out to get my keys and shit like that, and he slams the door, so I'm locked out of the room.
And I'm starting naked.
So I get in a fist fight in the streets of Hollywood naked with a huge bouncer.
That's a real story because I finally got into my car when I actually,
God, I was not into the sunset, but on sunset,
naked driving away.
And is it true that when he was yelling at you,
he called you a howdy-duty motherfucker?
Look-in-motherfucker!
That's exactly what he called me.
He wouldn't take the thing seriously.
God, you're more fresh-up on this stuff than I am.
He's done his research.
I said, let me back in my room.
And he goes, fuck you, howdy-d-duty-looking motherfucker.
What I thought was rude.
And so I went to think I was tough,
which I often do.
And I threw like a big right hand
and did absolutely nothing this guy.
He hit me and it really hurt,
so I got to my car and was able to drive down
Sunset Boulevard.
It's the weird part of the story
that you could never know.
You know, unless you see the police report
of that story, you could wonder,
did that really happen?
Oh, I was driving across the United States
with my ex-wife,
and we were in Tennessee, in Memphis,
and we decided, hey, let's go see,
Elvis Presley's, let's go see Graceland.
And the line's really long, and all of a sudden I hear,
Hey, Danny, and I look,
and it's the black dude from the Hollywood Hills Hotel
that punched me in the face while I was naked.
The Howdy Duty guy?
It was the Howdy Duty guy, Danny?
Yes, that guy, the Howdy Duke,
me look at Motherfurtry guy.
And I said to my ex-wife, I said,
you see that shit absolutely happens to me.
I love the fact that a black guy in a crack house
knows is familiar with Howdy.
he did.
You know what he did he was funny?
I kind of thought about Ben,
but everything was moving so fast.
Like, how do you fucking know how to he do?
What he did?
I wonder if he knew Sandy Becker.
Joe officer Joe Bolton.
And Far Fallen.
Wow, you can really just pick him out.
Here's a challenging segue, Danny, from that.
Let's talk a little bit about growing up.
up in Philly and you come from a showbiz family, actually, which I don't think a lot of people
know that your grandfather was in vaudeville?
Yeah, my godfather was in vaudeville and pretty much started radio in Philadelphia with Dick Clark.
I've known Dick Clark my whole life.
Literally, he came by the hospital and gave my mom some gifts when I was born, and I have
known that guy ever since.
Interesting.
And then you went on to work with him on the other half, and he was on the Partridge family.
Yeah, it's a matter of fact.
It's weird.
Somebody mentioned that they saw that Partridge Family
yesterday.
Interesting.
It was the Part of Family episode with Dick Clark,
and I said, I just said it this morning on my radio show,
not on there,
and we were off the area.
I said, isn't that the one where I win the Emmy,
the Oscar, the Tony, whatever, and I said,
and then I'm also the pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers.
And he goes, yeah, and you can see my weather girl going,
all right, now you're mine.
And you were never the pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers,
but it was all in an episode with Dick Clark.
So what was your grandfather's name?
It was Jack.
Jack Steck.
Jack Steck.
And he helped Ed McMahon start in the business as well.
Do I have my facts right?
He started Ed McMahon and my grandfather started Ed McMahon and Dick Clark.
He got all these people started.
And you know what?
They were really, really loyal to him at his funeral.
They both showed up.
And I thought, you know, that's really sweet.
And this was a real distance from the year that they got discovered.
And my grandfather put them in show visits.
He died at 100 years old.
And sure enough, they both showed up.
is your maternal grandfather.
Yes, yes, yes.
And your dad worked at the Philly Zoo and did a kiddie show with animals?
Oh, this is a great story, man.
He was known as Joe the Zoo Man, and he put on his little Saturday morning show with the animals,
and he's a really little guy.
Like, I towered over my dad.
He was five foot two, and he's showing everybody this boa constrictor,
and hey kids this is the largest living snake in the world or whatever the hell he was saying
and it goes up and it wraps around the boom microphone and just starts to hang my dad
and know some right up off the ground yeah and that's one of the famous stories when you get back to philadelphia
i hear all about my grandfather because there is not a tv or radio station that doesn't have his
fingerprint on it somewhere but then every now and again you hear the jones of a zoo man story
he's hanging from a boon, Mike, from a bowling administrator.
Now, you and your father didn't, I mean, he was like a very successful TV writer, Dick Van Dyke show and Andy Griffith's show, many other shows.
A great list of classic shows.
And then he went, you know, that's a big career when you start a fetching black and white, and from Philly. He got that job from Philly.
And I believe he ended up doing one day at a time and the Jefferson's and good time.
That was the end of his career.
It's a really, really talented guy.
A dick like you wouldn't believe.
And I don't mean like a big one to Brangover.
I mean the guy's an asshole.
But he's a really talented asshole.
Well, he beat all of you, didn't he?
All like his sons, all his kids.
Oh, I thought he, I agree with the way he said all of you.
No, no, no.
He missed my feet.
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was a very physical cat.
And it was your.
or your TV show manager played by Dave Madden.
The great, Dave Madden.
Yeah, who used to take you home with him?
Yeah, I mean, it was a thing, like one time,
and this is a story that gets a lot of play.
It's in fact, everybody knew he was beating me up,
and nobody loved it, but you know what?
No, we weren't his hands off today as people were back then.
And one day, he gave me a black eye,
and people had to wait for me to get my makeup.
And, you know, Shirley Jones the God damn Academy Award winner.
And I don't know if she said, hey, we've got to do something about this,
but I don't know if Dave Madden got the short straw.
But that guy would take me home all sorts of different weekends
so that I didn't go out to stay at my dad's house.
And God love him.
You know, he was a surrogate dad for me.
The guy who played Ruben was a surrogate dad for me.
And I just, I will love him.
You know what?
He died, I don't know, this year.
January of this year, yeah.
January of this year.
So he will be well missed.
An excellent, by the way, an excellent magician.
Really good.
Yeah, I was doing some research on him.
He started as a folk singer, and then he became a comedian who did magic.
Right, right.
And then he became a full-time comedian who ended up on laughing.
Yeah, he was on laughing.
Yeah, he was on laughing.
He was on laughing.
That was laughing.
Okay, yeah, yeah, he used to do that.
He loved it.
And he did a sitcom before the Pratchers family called Camp Runamuck.
Camp Run Amok.
Yeah, he was, I'm not sure if he was a camp counselor or what, but he did that show before the Partridge Family, Camp Runamuck.
He was a talented guy.
And before that, uh, laughing, the guy worked.
Oh, yeah.
And both of you popped up, I think, together on Married with Children.
Yeah, this is a weird episode because, you know, after the Parts of the Family went off the air, I just, I didn't, I did not expect to be out of work.
I expected to be a high-paid teenager.
And I wasn't.
And I kept going on out for auditions.
And it's easy to say, oh, well, he was typecast for me either, the part of the time I met, which may not be true.
But also, there might be the fact that I sucked at it.
Oh, I was terrible at it.
But anytime I got a job, I remember I was on an episode of Chips.
And there was a couple of the Brady Bunch on it and somebody else was a 70s TV show.
And we're just doing it, and I didn't even think of it.
And the guy that shared my dressing room with me, how the mighty ad,
fallen, said something about these shows that are kind of fun because they're stunt-casted.
And I'd never heard that expression before, stunt-casted.
And he goes, you know, you get on these guys, it's kind of like a big stunt.
Why I took exception?
Apparently you shouldn't hit your co-actors.
And that did not end well, that particular episode of Chips.
Or was it Chips or was it Pacific Blue?
But anyway, what the hell are we talking about?
Your post-Parchage family acting career.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
You can see it all over down again
You get run away with yourself right here
Well, Dan, take us back a little bit
You're the family
Your dad gets the TV episode
While you're still living in Philly
He decides he's going to move the family to Hollywood
And how does the acting
He writes
He writes the episode of the Dick Van Dyke show
From his office at the zoo
In Philadelphia
Like I said, I never loved it like all right
But pretty goddamn impressive
You know
That's great
And so they said
Okay do you want to move to
First of all they said
They wrote him a letter when he sent the script to Dick Van Dyke,
and they said, for legal reasons, we can't open up unsolicited mail.
And I guess my dad thought that was it.
And they said, on the other hand, somehow we opened it, it's great.
Do you want to move to California?
And my dad said, yeah.
And actually, I know we're all living in the San Fernando Valley.
And how did the acting thing happen for you?
You were four when you moved, right?
You know, I had done a couple of things with Dick Clark.
Like I said, I've known my whole life.
I know a couple of things with Dick Clark did a commercial for a shampoo commercial with it, as a matter of fact,
because I had crazy red hair back there.
And so I'm literally, my mom and I are going to the copper penny in Burbank.
It's right down the street from our house at that point.
And I forget what brought the song because, you know, that's 45 years ago or more.
I'm talking to my mother, and I said, as Thoreau once said, and I do the quote from Thoreau,
because I will tell you, if you couldn't do at least five good quotes in my dad's house, he was going to beat you harder.
So some guy leans up over the partition between the two booths and said, if that kid doesn't have an agent by noon today, it's a crime or whatever he said, well, that guy was Dr. Kildare.
Richard Chamberlain?
Yes.
My mom loved Richard Chamberlain.
He goes, hey, Dr. Kildare says we need an agent.
Let's go get one.
And so we did.
and I did a couple other things.
I did an episode of The Ghost of Mrs. Muir,
interesting enough, written by my father.
Didn't you be witched?
I did two different episodes of Uwitch.
Okay.
Remember how we were talking about weird shit that happened to you,
or only you or only me?
I'm the only guy I know.
There's been bit on the head by two different chimpanzees.
How's that?
One of them was the chimp on bewitched.
He was a famous director.
I wish I could remember his name.
The guy, and he's been bewitched, if you will.
And he's now, he did something wrong to some witch, and now he's a chimpanzee.
So I do my two or three scenes with him, but now they got the chimp.
Is it the playground at the studio?
And he's on the highest level of the monkey bars, which now I find ironic.
And so I climb up with him thinking that all chimps are fun,
and this fucker bits me and bites me on the head for no good reason.
Chimps are horrible.
Did you ever walk in the chimp?
I didn't know that. I didn't know.
Remember that?
Trevor, the killer chimp.
Remember that guy?
Bit that lady's face off.
There was a guy who was also attacked by a chimp and had his penis.
I remember that.
Yes, mutilated.
Could have been worse, Dan.
It could have been worse.
Get your mention if I'm telling these stories with fun.
And then I go, and that's when the chimp bit my penis.
So let me see if I have my chronology.
You did shows like
accidental family
with Jerry Van Dyke.
Right.
Bewitched.
Two episodes of Bewitched.
Ghost and Mrs. Muir,
Mayberry R.F.D.
And a show
Gilbert and I love
My World and Welcome to it
with William Wyndham.
Yes.
Oh, my.
That was a great show.
And it was on
when I first met my wife
seven years ago.
And I go, wait a minute,
wait a minute,
wait a minute,
I'm about to be on this show.
I'm in this show.
And we sit frozen.
And I pop up on the show.
Remember was that four or five?
I mean, I'm really tiny when I do my world and welcome to it.
Yeah.
And your dad wrote some of those episodes?
Was it just the ghost and Mrs. Muir one?
It's funny because he gets a lot of flack for hating my TV career, which he did.
But he didn't hate just my TV career.
He hated TV.
He thought it was awful on everybody.
And it was awful.
He thought it was just a bad medium.
My dad was an angry guy.
My God, my God.
My dad.
You know, we didn't really talk, my dad and I.
And I remember, all of a sudden, I go to bed Danny Bondici, and I wake up Danny Partridge,
and there's hundreds.
Literally, this is not like a thing you say.
I wake up Danny Partridge with hundreds of fans in my front yard with signs and shit.
And so my mom and I are going to go to the set, because that's what we do now.
This is the part of our life.
And I go to leave, and my dad grabs my shoulder, it's hard enough to let me know
whatever it was about to come out of his mouth.
It's not going to be great.
And he says to me, remember, acting as one step below pimping.
And then he shoved me out the door and I was like, thanks, Dad.
We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this.
Now, I heard a story, even if it's not true, tell me it's true.
All right.
That with David Cassidy, when he was at the height of his,
teeny bopper stage.
Yeah, which was huge, by the way.
Oh, yeah. He was tremendous back then.
And he would leave his house
in the morning, and he had a gate
around his house that would be
mobbed with girls.
Yeah, oh yeah, mobbed, mobbed.
And I heard he sometimes would
take his dick and stick it
through the bars and the fence.
That's totally true.
Unbelievable.
Things weren't as illegal.
Like, I happened to find my penis.
It's one of the most amusing things in the world.
And we were talking about this, about things that were taking out,
contact something like that on my radio show, the other day.
Some lady, I was the manager of sushi on Sunset, Sunset.
And she didn't have her wallet to pay her bill.
And you could see by all her equipment, she's a professional photographer,
but the real manager, my boss, didn't know who she is and didn't care.
She could leave her cameras here and go to her hotel room, get her wallet, and come back and pay.
So she said, all right, you're kind of weird, but okay.
While she's gone, I took probably 50 big...
of my cock.
And you know,
she is vivid.
Only 50.
Only had one of those really
fast shooters, but I ran out of film.
I see.
So
David, so
when David Cassidy, he wasn't
scared at all
up here.
Well, like I said, you didn't
hear things about women suing people
back then just because they saw your dick.
It wasn't the big of a deal. I think he was more
worried about actually opening the electric gates.
with his dick still in there.
That would have been in it.
And by the way,
are you aware that his dick is enormous?
He,
David Cassidy has an enormous dick.
It's called a right foot.
It has its own name,
don't.
You can only refer to his dick as donk.
The things you learn on the Gilbert dot for your podcast.
He wouldn't strike,
because it's funny,
because he always wore those, like,
really, really tight pants.
Sure.
Right, sure.
So did he,
have something there to hide the size of his cock?
You know what?
It certainly wasn't his ego
because that wasn't exposed anywhere else.
But no, I just think he had an enormous dick
and he loved it.
I would love to have an enormous dick.
So you would like to have David Cassidy's dick?
I would.
You heard of here first.
I would love to have David Cassidy's dick.
Now, think about Lucky the Grassey's dick.
Now, think about Lucky the Grassey's Dick.
I boofed in the alley was that I didn't have it.
All right.
I heard, I heard when, I remember when you were fucking her in the ass,
she was screaming out, thank God this isn't David Cassidy.
I remember that.
I could have fucked Cassidy.
That's what he said.
And I said, you don't know how lucky you are.
Before we go completely off the rails, if we haven't.
Yeah.
How was the Partridge family first presented to you?
Because it was based on the cow sills, an actual family band.
It was.
And I say this to people.
I say, you know, actually, here's what I say.
I say this show was based on the councils,
but then they went into a Screen Jim's meeting,
and the bosses at Screams and they went,
oh, my God, you're like the ugliest family in the world.
We can't pick you guys.
They couldn't act either, right?
What?
They couldn't act either, right?
Wasn't that part of the problem?
I don't know if they got that far,
because they really are a homely group of people.
But, yeah, we're baitingly based on the council.
And wasn't an un-aired pilot with Jack Cassidy playing Shirley's, her actual husband?
Yes, you're absolutely right.
That would have been weird to have him around.
He wasn't the world's nicest guy, Jack Cassidy.
But for a little kid growing up in Hollywood and deciding, hey, this whole thing is super neat,
you couldn't get a better role model than Jack Cassidy.
I went to their house one time.
I don't know, on the weekend early in the morning.
I was going to hang out with Sean Cassidy.
We were kind of buddies.
And I said this to Shirley years ago in an interview.
Of course, you know, I have a child's memory of this.
This couldn't be the way it actually goes.
But I knocked on the door at 9 o'clock in the morning,
Jack Cassidy answered in a smoking jacket holding a martini.
And surely goes, no, that was Jack.
Wow.
Yeah.
Now, and it was similar, like a similar relationship in that David and Jack hated each other, I think.
Yeah, well, if you believe David's a book, which is, you know, David writes a book called Come On Get Happy yet failed to.
That Jack was really jealous of David's career, and I can see that.
He was a performer. He was on Broadway. He was welcome.
And David Cassidy selling out Angel Stadium in, you know, two hours.
I can see being a little jealous over that. I'm jealous of the size of the guy's dick.
There's a lot to be jealous about with this guy.
Jack Cassidy had a big career. I mean, he was great in common.
He did a lot of stuff.
He was.
Do you remember that?
What was that show he used to do where he played a superhero astronaut?
Do you remember that?
Oh, gosh.
We have to look that one up.
A huge director was the star of it, a current director.
Jack Cassidy.
I wouldn't even know to give you enough hints.
What I remember with Jack Cassidy the best is he was in an episode of Colombo.
My favorite.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, as a magician.
He was a magician.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, you are also friends with a character actor who's a favorite of ours,
and he played The Mad Doctor in I Was a Teenage Frankenstein.
Whit Bissell, I heard.
Oh, I loved Whit Bissell, but you know why I loved Whit Bissell.
He was the stepfather of the second Chris on the Parchage family, if I'm not mistaken.
Brian Forster?
Wait, wait, I could be completely wrong on that.
I could be completely wrong on that.
Don't quote me.
But, yeah, I was good friends with Whit Dissal.
I love Whit Dizzle.
And also, now, how did you find out that the Partridge family was over?
Oh, this is a kind of, you know, 20 years ago when I was, you know, doing anything I could for a couple of bucks.
This was a much sadder story that it is today.
But I will tell you, we're doing the Partridge.
It's the biggest hit in the world.
You can't go anywhere.
Girls are screaming.
You know, everybody wants to talk to you and stuff like that.
And I go with my mom, and we go to the gate of Columbia Studios, Columbia Ranch Studios.
We go to Pull in.
And I don't know if there are pleasantries set back and forth words.
But the first things I can hear that guard audibly say is, I'm sorry, the part of his family doesn't live here anymore.
And I thought, fuck!
Wow.
This is going to haunt me for the next.
30 years, and it did.
Were there any standout episodes, Dan?
Gilbert and I were just talking about the Richard Pryor episode, which is amazing to watch.
He was the first person I ever heard say the N-word.
I couldn't fucking believe.
And all the white celebrities are the part of our eyes lit up with, holy shit, did he just say that?
But there was Mel Burns, that was the hair guy, hands Richard Pryor, this silver comb,
just the one he used on all of us.
And Richard Bride did five minutes on the end comb.
I always get around the end comb with you.
Holy fuck, what's he saying?
He might have taken David Cassidy's dick out.
We could not have been more startled.
Wow.
And some of the people who are on the show,
Jody Foster, Johnny Cash,
and two iconic actors from The Wizard of Oz,
Margaret Hamilton and Ray Bulger.
That's right.
You know, if one more would have,
we'd have the trifecta of somewhere over the rainbow,
that Ray Bulger, I think, played my Shirley's father.
That's correct.
My grandfather, he played my grandfather.
Great guy.
Great guy.
And, you know, a lot of times, almost all times if somebody's over the top,
they can't be like you expect them to be.
Except Ray Bulger was the goddamn straw man, was the scarecrow.
Any chance he got.
He loved it.
He'd do the dances.
You know, he'd go, it wasn't that away.
No, it was that way.
That's great. That's great. I didn't think we'd get a Ray Bulger impression out of you today, Dan.
You know, when you went to work with an order, what am I not going to get? I know. A Ray Bolger impression.
Did you do any singing at all? I mean, I know you've talked about this over the years. And did you do any playing at all?
Because I read somewhere that you made a... Do you have any talent whatsoever?
No, man. No. And if they'd have paid me any better, it would have been unlawful.
That I made that much money while having no talent. But yeah, I didn't pay.
play. I didn't sing. There's a pretty
famous story with me and David
Cassidy, and you know, David
Cassidy did not come into his own
about, hey, I'm going to be David Cassidy
and you're not. It kind of took
like three episodes. And
one day, around the third episode,
I got this big, giant bass
guitar over my neck, and I'm strumming
it like a guitar.
And the musical stuff, we're going to do the thing again,
and David Kennedy goes, you don't
strum a bass. You pluck it.
Do you think you can pluck it, kid?
And they were, I'll pluck it, man, please.
Well, didn't you make a poll, a recent poll of top bass players?
I think I came in, like, number four, and the top base players,
and a sting is still pretty upset that I came in number four.
And it was a Playboy magazine, those things that are kind of taken seriously,
most famous or most qualified bass player in the world,
and I came in number four out of ten.
And you didn't play at all, because I saw you...
Not ever, not even a little.
Now, when that show was on, Susan Day was like a sex symbol.
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
But I heard she had like a real eating disorder.
Well, you know what?
I would believe that to be true.
I've heard it also.
I've heard it from Susan Day and other people just a conversation.
She was five, eight, and never broke 100 pounds.
But the weirdest thing, because, like, the word anorexia,
That wasn't really, it didn't come to the top anybody's list.
But this is when everybody noticed, I swear to God, this is true.
But it happens to me, because I've mentioned it a couple times, people call me and say,
oh, that happened.
It's so-and-so.
She was only eating carrot sticks.
That's it.
That's all she was going to eat.
And the fucking girl turned orange.
And full-on orange, like, they couldn't work with her.
We had to shut down for a week.
Wow.
And you said she had gotten so thin at one point that you had seen her in a becky,
at one point, and you were at your horniest back then, and you saw in a bikini, and you said to her,
you should eat something.
I did.
I remember where we were on a beach.
I remember this.
I walked up to what it turned out to be a pretty big deal, and maybe, you know, I shouldn't have
said that to a girl that's known for being beautiful, but I said, you know, you've got to eat
something, Susan.
What was happening is, you don't like to sit sometimes your legs full, and she's leaning forward.
I'm going to go reading a book.
that describes the body position.
And her spine was sticking so far out.
And the next thing I know, years and years later,
they're talking about her anorexia in People magazine.
Did you act out on the set, Danny?
Because I read some things in Shirley Jones' book.
Did you get a picture of milkport over your head?
I did by the same girl, Susan Day.
Maybe she's mad for it because I call her skinny.
I was.
You know, I wasn't a bad kid.
I just think they weren't prepared for what you would call today a handful.
And I don't think, you know, they were making room for a handful on the side of the Partridge's
So I don't remember what I was doing, but I remember exactly where we were.
And you can see this episode if you want, but you don't see the filly of the pouring of the milk.
We're saying we're all around the kitchen table because that's where the Partgerly ate at the kitchen table and the dining room table.
We all ate meals at the same time, and we all had pajamas.
I found that very weird about these people.
But anyway, I don't know if I missed the line or was about it.
in a dick or something like that.
But all of a sudden it was cold.
Where do you get cold milk on the set of the part of the family?
And she just dumps a whole glass container of milk right over my head.
And I was about to cause a scene.
I remembered in my head.
I froze because it scared me because I didn't know what was happening exactly.
And by the time I calmed down, I went, don't throw a scene.
They're kind of sick of you here.
That would be a hint.
Interesting.
You were 10 years old when you started the show.
Do I have that right?
I say 10 to 15, but I think it was like,
like 14 and two, maybe a half, 14 and a half.
Were you watching Susan Day change her clothes a couple of times?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A couple of times.
I swear to God, they're a talk show.
I've done every talk show in America and I've never met anybody as prepared for an interview as Gilbert.
God damn Godfrey.
So what I had done.
And every question is about nudity and putting your penis through a gate.
Yeah.
Who's got the bigger dick?
She's a day, Hooters, what happened here?
I climbed up on the roof of her dressing, before she moved into her dressing of her own.
It was just a trail with the other guys.
And I just leaned over the side, and I could see above between the curtains where the curtains are and the top of the window.
And there she was.
I think I didn't see her full blown naked, but I saw in her underwear.
And, man, skinny girl boobs are weird.
You know, I'm like 12 years old.
That should have been the greatest day of my life.
Looking back while looking back, and I'm going, oh, Jesus, have a snack.
What?
Describe what her boobs look like.
Let's see.
I don't have to go.
I wish I could be more clever than this, but I want to go with banana boobs.
What?
Banana boobs.
Little tiny.
Because I had a girlfriend one time, and before she was my girlfriend, she said to me,
she made some comment about her little her boobs.
And when I saw them, they were.
There was little as she said they were going to be.
And so, so, so sexy.
but Susan's were just, ew, yuck, put a shirt on, for God's sake, I'm 12.
And, of course, she and David went on to have an affair.
That was quite well publicized.
I don't know if it's an affair or it's literally a weekend, but it was called off really, really,
and this is, you know, they didn't talk to me that much.
I was 10, but from what I understand, she never got over it.
Now, I'm sure she may tell a different story, but as I understand it, she never got over.
that she wasn't the girl for Cassidy.
Wow.
I heard she was, like, crazy about him from the beginning.
Yeah, well, everybody was crazy.
It's funny because sometimes I see pictures of me.
He holds up, meaning the picture from back then,
everybody was in love with David Cassidy.
And on the flip side of that, everybody was in love with Susan Day.
So, you know, it was bound to happen, but it was bound to be,
it was brief, and it was.
And, like, you know, we're still talking about this many years later.
Did you bone Susan Day or did Susan Day?
they'd bone him.
So, you know, it was a big deal, but I heard she never got over it.
Now, I also did your, Shirley Jones, your mother on this show,
while you were in your imaginary home of the portrait, since...
Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about, Godfrey.
Do I know?
Am I right?
I think so.
Okay, here we go.
I don't know.
I'm being an asshole on the set.
You know, I'm being me.
I was just a bad kid.
I didn't do anything terrible,
but I was a handful.
And finally,
I ran up to Susan out to show her Jones.
I don't know what I had done,
but she looked at me dead crazy.
She pointed up the stairs that led nowhere,
and, you know,
Jenny, go to your room.
I was going to go to your room.
There's nothing up there.
I don't have a room.
It was just,
it was like, to quote,
fiddler on the roof,
one long staircase just leaning up.
Hilarious.
Wow,
I never got that reference to the parties I said before, but that was fairly awful.
I never heard that story. Danny, can I ask you a little bit about the music?
Because I saw a clip of you and David in concert.
You guys in Vegas or something?
Or Atlantic City?
It depends. There was a time in the early 90s, and maybe actually 91, 92, and this was, to be honest, because we never gets brought up this way.
This is post-transvestite. Nobody was hiring me. I didn't have a lot of money.
It spent a lot of money in legal.
Mills was just a drag.
Pardon the part of the
dog.
So,
David Cassidy called me up and says,
hey,
do you want to open for me?
And I said,
yeah,
and I thought he was talking about
butt fucking me.
What do you mean?
I'll do it for a hundred hours.
But he said,
why don't you go on stage
and do comedy?
And I said,
I just said,
yes,
really fast,
but I didn't,
I didn't do any comedy.
We're talking about 30-some-odd years ago.
And I said,
okay,
I will because I really need the money.
And it went okay, and I did like four more times.
And then that was that.
And then 20 years later, I've got some dough now.
It's okay.
I don't have to open for fucking Cassidy.
But I thought it would be nice of me.
So I had him on my radio show.
He challenged me.
He said, can you learn one single Partridge Family song on the base in the next four weeks
and then do it for me in Atlantic City?
And I said, yeah, I can.
Man, that was so hard.
No wonder I didn't play the bass on the show.
Well, I saw the clip.
It's you guys playing, doesn't somebody want to be wanted?
With me, counting all the time, one, and three, and five, that's two,
because that's how I remember the song all numerically.
It looked very convincing.
I heard one.
I mean, it's the base root of that song.
I played it that one time.
I did it.
Now, one time you were on stage, and the audience started throwing coins at you, I heard.
Oh, I remember.
This was my, like, my very first.
job. I'm doing a radio show in
Chicago, again, 30 years
ago or something like that. And the morning
disjunk here, incredibly
famous and really funny. Jonathan Brandmeier.
He's a great guy.
Oh, yeah. I've been on the show a bunch of times.
I figured. Absolutely. So I'm on,
you know, I guess it was
something bad at happening. It was in the newspaper.
Oh, I know. The time I was arrested for cocaine in
1985. So this is a long time ago.
So he invites me we do a bunch of interviews, and he really, like, for the radio,
he doesn't have a mean bone in his body, this guy, but for the radio, he doesn't mind that
I'm broke.
And he keeps him about, hey, you know, you've got to come do this accurate, it's going to be great,
we'll give you a couple of bucks.
He thinks it's funny, and I think it's funny.
He's a good sport that guy.
So I go on stage to, I don't know if we're going to sing, I think I love you or some such thing.
But either way, as I'm on it, people are starting to throw ice at me, and it was a hockey rink.
And it had 17,000 seats, and it was sold out of a Brandon,
a Jonathan Brammeier show.
And I'm getting tagged a couple of times in the head with these ice keys.
And these guys are dicks.
And I looked down to the state and realized, it's money.
They're selling money in me.
So I started to collect them.
And somebody got to scoop me up off the stage.
I don't know if it was Toddry or something.
Fuck you.
And it was like five or $600 in quarters of that.
Now, you used to have a scam going when you were homeless,
that you would call up these, like, hot nightclubs in the...
Yeah, but the Roxbury is the one that comes to mind.
That's exactly.
And I did it a couple of times, but what I would do is I would call people up,
and I'd say, I'd change my voice or whatever I did,
and I'd say I'm the show coordinator from the Tonight Show,
Danny Bondi.
You might remember him from the Partridge family,
and Mick Jagger will be coming in this evening.
They met today on the show.
and apparently they hit it off
and they're really good friends now
so you please have a table together
for Danny Bodice
and Mick Jagger
and so I did this for a really long time
with this trick
God
it's so funny now
so I go to the Rockway
a couple different times
or nightclubs a couple of different times
and I say hey I don't Danny Balich
is Mick here yet
and they'll go
oh no but your table's right up there
here and we'll walk you table
I went great
so I pull up to the Roxbury one night
and I go
all right Danny Bonanucci is
Mick Jackie and he'll
here yet, and the guy goes, yes, he is at his table.
And they take me right up, and they sit me down there.
Like, Nick is with a bunch of people.
And they sit me right down here, one or two guys away from Mick,
and he's looking at me like, what the fuck?
So I decide, I'm going to tell him my famous Mick Jagger story.
He's going to love Danny Buddy Buddy Buddy's his famous McJaggers story.
So I tell him about what I did, and I tell him,
it's been getting me into nightclubs for 20 years.
And he says this, what a cheeky bloke.
And then waves me away away like the back of the head.
Oh, the cheeky bloke.
And off I go.
That's all he said.
Yes, you're a cheeky bloke.
Wow.
You just gave Gilbert an idea for getting into clubs.
I think I've either wrote this or did it in on stage or something.
But here's my way to alter that thing, so it works for you, is you just say you're the drummer from Three Dog Night.
Who can identify the drummer?
and three dog night
the rest of the nights
and three dog night cannot tell who the drummer is
that's funny
and also
when you were homeless
you used to
have people
were asking for your autographs
and asking for your picture
and around the block
was your car that you lived in
right oh no this is a thing
this is so bizarre
man. And, you know, we've had a couple of Danny Buttigieg boys that there's weird stories,
but this was weird. I moved in my car behind the crime and Chinese. And I would wake up
at whatever time I woke up, like stretch, walk out, and that's where everybody's looking at
the shoe prints in the thing and asking me for my autograph. And it's on to me, if these people
only knew that I'm living by the dumpster in the back. And I ended up living there for over a year.
Wow. Yeah. Did you ever think of asking any of them for like, you know, I'll give you my
autograph for a dollar?
Not a fucking chance.
Never ever, I'd die first.
I have a deal with my, I have a deal
with my stepfather, who by the way
is my father-in-law, right?
It was five years younger than I am. That's kind of
weird. But I have a deal with him, and
it was, if he ever sees me
at an autograph show, just
shoot me. But homeless
is fine?
Now I'm thinking that maybe I
would do him because I see real-life celebrities
doing them now. There must be good money
him. I don't know. But the idea of selling your
face, love Danny Bodditch.
Maher, you're my best friend, Danny Byrdge.
David Gassiz got a giant
cock. Love it. It seemed weird.
Did you work? Do I have my information
right, Danny? Didn't you work for Kenny Rogers
around that time? I did. I worked on his ranch,
the Jolly Roger Ranch in Malibu,
and I would pick up
because they still had horses.
My mom and I both had a horse left over from
the Farners family.
And they're not dead yet.
And we couldn't afford to get rid.
I mean, we couldn't afford to keep them anywhere.
It's hard to sell a horse.
It's not that easy to sell a horse.
And so he let me sweep shit at his restaurant at his stables.
At his stables.
And that's what I did, yeah.
And I also heard that you can make money like once a year, and it's coming up soon.
Oh, no, it's completely true.
I'll tell you this right now, and this really, this mattered to me from, I don't know what years were the most fucked 80 through 91 with the transveste, whatever it was.
Things were mean a couple of times, and I would get a phone call every Christmas from a K-Mart in Wyoming, and they would pay me $500 to sit in a tree outside their grand opening, and for that money I would become Danny Partridge in a pear tree.
But, but you wouldn't do an autograph show.
Oh, because an autograph show is funny.
You bastard.
And didn't you also say Jane Fonda and Rosio Donald should be executed for treason?
I remember specifically saying,
well, just, you know, until recently, a lot of the country thought that Jane Fonda should be executed.
You know, she did some treasonous shit.
sitting over there on an aircraft,
a North Vietnamese aircraft
a gun, you can't do that shit.
But by the way, I have forgiven her.
I don't know why I forgave her, but it was real recently.
I held on it wherever.
But I forget what comment Rosie O'Donnell made that I really didn't like.
Oh, I think about September 11th.
Was that what it was?
I don't know.
Why would that get you treason?
She would say, I think she...
I wish she was saying it was an inside job.
Yeah, that America.
That's what it was.
That's what it was.
She's saying the president.
You know what?
I didn't have any great love for Bush, but what the hell?
He's an okay guy.
But to say he killed American citizens, that's treason.
You hang the big bitch.
Danny, this is jumping back, but I just want to ask one Partridge family question.
Your kids, did your kids watch it?
What was their reaction to seeing dad, you know, is it 10-year-old in a hit TV show?
You know what?
I don't quite remember how they saw it.
I know that they've seen it, but it didn't.
make any great impact on their lives.
On the other hand, they saw my reality show Breaking Bonoichi,
why I was drunk and crazy for every single episode.
They saw that one.
I remember.
Oh, God.
You know, I live a life mostly without regrets, but that was a bad decision.
You mean deciding to do the show in the first place?
Well, I wrote the show, so I can't really say that.
But I didn't expect it to go, you know, I'm going, hey, I think they're liking this crazy
drunk thing.
Let me do more of it.
I'm waking up.
I got no pants on.
The crew was leaving.
It was weird.
Oh, go ahead, Gil.
And I think in years ago, in like Thailand or something,
some American kid was stealing cars or stealing, breaking into.
It was keying cars and graffitiing.
Okay.
Well, they were going to cane this guy, and everybody cared.
Yeah, and they were like, and caning was whacking someone in the ass.
with a thing called a she-eye, and it's a really, god-ban serious, it bites.
The bamboo strips go, they go inside, and then they grab a whole of your flesh and come out.
And I said, I had a radio show to do at this point, but I said, listen, I don't think it's such a big deal.
I, they wanted him to go for 10 canings.
And I said, I'll do it.
And my show was very popular at that time.
And so I said, I'll do it.
And I went out on Michigan Avenue, and I dropped my pants and a real-life martial arts instructor
with a black belt on,
just whacked me on the ass as hard as he could.
And immediately, I felt that the sting,
and that hurt,
but the thing that threw me immediately,
I could feel the blood going into my shoes.
I've been, like, seriously injured right then.
And I look at my boss,
and every word is his name, wonderful guy,
and he knows that I'm going to take these 10 canings,
no matter what.
I've said, I'm going to do it,
and I'm going to go,
hey, you better get me out of this.
I might just die on Michigan Avenue.
He said, hey, I'm calling it, stop for this right now.
One of the stupidest things I ever,
did, but I would not say I had a big regret about it. I've got a scar, but I don't have
an regret. Yeah, how does your ass look now? Do you have a bunch of scars on it? No, I have a
bunch of tattoos. You've got a tattoo of Seattle on your back, don't you? I have Seattle. That was
one I just wanted for me. Well, I just wanted them all on them for me. I got the loop in Chicago,
the radio station logo. I've got, uh, what's that guy's, what's that Scottish comic that has a TV
show for a few more minutes. Greg Ferguson.
Greg Ferguson, I have his logo and his
ass on my butt. I have my
boss's name on my butt. Honey,
how many names do I have on my butt?
14.
Is there room for Gilbert Gottfried on there?
Yeah, there is, if you wanted, if it means
something to you, sure. Oh, I'd absolutely
love it. Yeah.
All right, well, I'll get around it and how
it would be. Let's
talk for a minute about some of the boxing matches.
It's so much fun. Tell us about how you came to fight Donnie.
Osmond.
That was, you know, that was an iffy thing.
I was doing radio in Chicago, I guess, afternoon, drive, nighttime.
I don't really remember.
And I can hear Dottie Osmond on the radio, which I was in Brammeier, and
Brandeis talking about who's tougher, him or Danny Partridge?
And he says, him.
And I hear the first time, and I'm thinking, don't get sucked into anything here,
Donnie, this could be really bad for you.
And by the time it's over, D'Ali Osmond is saying he could beat me up in a boxing
match.
So I went, it was the China Club
in, on, before 90, I
think. And I will tell
you this. I, here's the thing.
I'm all, I'm pretty drunk at this point.
Which is the way you should do into any boxing match.
But it's not a fucking on of him.
So, I'm pretty drunk.
I go into the ring, and
the bell rings, I run across, oh, you hear me
gritting my teeth, I'm mad even thinking about it.
I run across the ring, and I just start
beating this guy
to death. And
they ring the bell and that said he hasn't done anything.
He just hunched over and being completely bummed out.
I go over my corner and I can't breathe at all.
And I can't, I can't get in the air and I don't know what to do.
So the bell rings and I walked out in the center of the ring.
And it seems Donnie doesn't want a whole lot of this either.
Nobody wants to really get hit in the face anymore.
So not a lot of stuff happens.
And in the third round, he gets his wind back and I don't.
I can't breathe.
I'm scared to death what this is going to be.
Because if I become the guy who got his ass kicked by Donnie Osman,
a little of my tough guy still is going to go right out of the window.
Well, didn't he train?
Didn't he train and get in shape?
Are we trained really serious?
Remember, well, anyway, I forget what he comes running out of his corner,
and he's going to kill me.
I'm out of breath, and he's going to win.
I know he's going to win.
I don't know what to do.
So I just stick my left hand out, and the guy runs into it and makes his nosebleed.
And after that, he just started running,
and I pretended that I was trying to catch him,
and he lost the decision two to one me,
And to be honest with you, I might have given that fight to Donnie.
He gets all upset about that.
I think I should have won.
Yeah, you should have won.
I mean, you're in better shape and you weren't drunk.
He should have won.
And you fought Greg Brady, too, Barry Williams.
That guy I killed him.
I thought that guy was going to die.
We get into the ring.
It's for Fox TV.
This is my biggest fight ever, if you will.
And I think I'm getting, you know, 15 or 25 grand.
That's like real money.
And so I train my ass off for this.
I'm not going to make the same mistake again.
And I don't know if there were other punches exchange.
I can't really remember that clearly.
But finally, I just punched this guy in the face so hard,
and he just hits the dirt, and he's not moving.
I think I have killed Greg Brady.
That's going to look great on a resume.
So I go to my chair.
I figure they count it's end.
That's over.
But they've altered the rules somehow.
And he's been saved by the bell.
several minutes between rounds.
He ended up getting knocked to the canvas really hard nine times before they finally called him out.
That was, and you know what, it's funny.
I'll give Greg a lot of this.
When I see it in person now, there's no bad blood between it.
And he really did take a beating.
Didn't you do a movie with him?
Didn't you do a sci-fi channel movie?
Oh, yeah.
I did it up here in Seattle.
The Bigfoot thing.
Oh, my God, that sucked.
Have you seen it?
I saw you plugging it.
It's terrible.
We have no reason to doubt you.
No, you're absolutely right.
Bigfoot changes sizes by 50 feet.
At one point, he's a big gorilla in the size of a building.
Wow.
Now, you fought O.J. Simpson's lawyer.
Yeah.
Robert Shapiro.
Yes.
And I was completely out of my mind on steroids at this time.
And I hear that Robert Shapiro would like to do a boxing match with me for charity.
And I say, okay.
and then I get a call from, I don't know with this trainer or manager or something,
but they said, I don't want to give the guy, you know,
he's been very nice to me, but they said this here's what I hear on the phone.
Bob is terrified.
He wants nothing to do with this.
He's going to call the fight up.
He's going to call the fight off.
There was like $500 a seat to go to this thing.
Great, don't call it off.
I said, let me come to his gym and just talk to him.
So I come to his gym, and I'm in a tank top,
and I'm literally, I'm just jacked to the rafters on Roy.
I couldn't be bigger.
So I said, hey, go one round.
He go 30 seconds with me before you call it off,
and see if you still want to call it off.
And he's real tentative, but there are people there with a wild card gym,
a major boxing gym.
And he goes, okay, we get in the ring.
And I just let him hit me in the face for about 45 minutes.
He goes, okay, this will be great.
And then we do the thing.
And we're about the fights just about over.
And he really bluddies my nose pretty seriously in the second.
round. And he hits me harder than I would like. There's no reason to hit me this, aren't
Shapiro? I just go, boom! And he took it. He didn't fall down. You can see he didn't want to
do it anymore, but he did it. I admired that guy. And great cardio, 65 years old at the time,
and he could run four miles a day. Amazing. You've done a lot of guest shots over the last two decades,
and he did married with children we talked about the Drew Carey show, Diagnosis, Murder, that
show. And you have something in common.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I did an episode
of Diagnosed Murder. It's on your resume.
Oh, that's weird. I don't remember that.
It's on your IMDB pitch.
I'm sure there's a lot of things you don't remember.
I can't imagine. I just don't remember being with Big Van Dyke.
But okay. I would that way.
I could be mistaken. But like Gilbert, you did do an episode of CSI.
Yes, I did. One, dig this. I'd never seen the show.
And I'm not doing that to be a snob.
This is not one of the shows I watch any of the NCIs, CSIs.
So they called me up personally and say, hey, you want to do the show?
And I go, yeah, no, no, I really don't.
Thank you, though.
I appreciate it.
And it's because I had never seen it.
I don't know.
I'm busy.
I'm doing all right in the radio world.
I don't need to do CSI.
And my agent calls me up and goes, says, hey, did the most viewed TV show on television today?
You called you up and say you want to do an episode?
I said, yes.
And he said, call them back and say okay.
Well, I did. I called them back and I said, okay.
And they liked me so much.
Dig this.
I get killed in the first episode, but did three other episodes as the same character.
Were you playing a musician or a DJ?
They sold it to me as like an Ozzy Osbourne type guy.
And did they try to explain to the audience how a dead guy is coming back?
Yes, they did, Gilbert.
They brought it back because it was just the character.
It was really popular.
So they brought me back in like things I had done for charity,
like a video saying, don't bite the heads off chickens.
It's not nice anymore.
So I did that.
And I did a couple other episodes from, like, pretending I was on a talk show and stuff.
So I could be that.
I was kind of honored by that.
That really made me look good.
Gilbert, were you killed in your episode?
We talked about it with Jeff Ross.
Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Ross
dies at the beginning
I'm stretching
I'm playing a stand-up comic
and Jeff Ross
is poisoned and dies
at the beginning
and then the rest of the show
you're wondering whether it's me
or Bob Cat Golds Wade
who killed him
Who was it?
Prime suspects
Who was the killer?
Oh it turned out
to be Bobcat.
Oh, Bobcat.
Yeah. I was just a red herring.
Danny, what do you got coming up?
I wonder if this is close to home for you or not at all.
I had a five-minute conversation with Bobcat Goldfrey, so I realized, I'm talking to
Bobcat Goldflet.
He doesn't do the wacky voice all the time.
Oh, he's pretty normal.
It took minutes, yeah.
It's pretty normal.
I liked him better the other way, to be honest.
I thought that was really funny.
I just want to ask you quickly about,
because we're coming to the end, about a movie you made,
a TV movie called Murder on Flight 502.
Yeah.
What do you remember about it besides hanging out with Sonny Bono
and getting weird career advice?
I crashed his Porsche.
I don't know what he was thinking.
I was 15.
And they say, hey, Sunny, you need to move your Porsche.
And he moves to me, like I said,
15 years old, at best.
And he goes, kid, can you drive a stick?
And I go, yeah.
So I want to say crash, that was a big word.
When I backed it out, I broke a taillight, and I re-parked it and everything.
But I did.
I crashed his car and broke his taillight.
I would tell you one of my, you know, people all that time,
and I tell the story, they go, oh.
And I take it as a great story.
They had, on Murder of Flight 502, it was like an all-star cat.
George Mahars, Robert Stack, Walter Pigeon, Ralph Bellamy.
Walter goddamn pigeon, you know?
Yeah.
Big actor.
Fernando Lammas.
Fernando, I mean, literally everybody in their brother was on this, and it was by an era that's kind of gone by, for the most part.
I was the youngest name on it.
And so they've got a soundstage, and I wonder if they still do this for stars.
They've got a soundstage filled with nothing but toys for grown-up celebrity.
They got massage tables.
They had video games when they first came out like Pong and stuff like that.
And, you know, they had anything you wanted to entertain yourself.
They had to stand up tables that you could sleep on so you wouldn't wreck your hair.
I mean, it was craziness.
And I had, I don't know, a hundred or so dominoes,
and I had spread them out all over a table,
so I could now, so I could push them over, and they'd all fall down.
It was kind of really cool, and I was very excited.
And Sonny Bono, and I hadn't even crashed his call yet,
so he didn't do it for retaliation.
So the domino theory, huh?
And I would, yeah, yeah.
And he goes, do you ever that?
about the suck theory?
And I said, no, what's that?
And he just hits the table really hard,
and they all fall down at the exact same time.
And he goes, that, my friend, is the suck theory.
The suck theory.
When I told that stories like Shirley Jones or a grown-up or someone,
and they said, oh, that's terrible, dear,
but it kind of, in a way, and I'm not completely kidding.
I understood what he meant.
And, like, it's not all going to be like it is in this room, kid.
It's not always, you should be prepared for when it sucks.
and I think, well, from Sonny Bono I was.
You know, he had to realize the suck theory later on,
but I got the suck theory from Sonny Bono and realized,
hey, it's not always going to be like it is on this movie set.
And I, one time the partridges were doing like,
were filming something at SeaWorld.
Yeah.
It was actually Marine World.
We couldn't get, we couldn't get Sea World.
and we
again, possibly because we're the biggest stars
in the world at this point
but also I guess for some convening we're living
at Marine Land. We've all got
you know kind of dressings that you can stay in
and they're very nice too and they're right by the whale
tanks. So I realize
that at night that I'm doing
all these scenes with the whale and I've
kind of memorized what
moves the whale trainer does
to get the whale to jump up in the air.
So I go out there at night
went on there and I make the whale jump up and out and out over but I don't have any fish to give
this whale I'm just doing it and then he quits on me and this is a very famous thing probably
might remember this from the news um next day they're doing the big whale show and the whale trainer
gets on to ride his back and he goes straight to the bottom of the tank give him a little bite on
the leg and won't let him go up the story would not be so funny if he killed him did not
But I got in so much trouble because I went out to do it the next night,
and I was caught by security doing the whale tricks until the whale wouldn't work anymore,
and apparently that's terrible for business.
You did some wonderful research on this one, Gilbert.
I'd never heard that story either.
Really? Oh, that's a great story.
That's great.
So we're going to wrap it up, Dan.
What do you got coming up?
You're always involved with projects?
You know what?
I'm very happy about this.
I've got nothing coming up.
I got my radio.
Is that right on you?
I got anything coming up.
I got nothing, man.
I'm not having my number one rated morning show,
and I'll have to do anything else.
So listen to this, you guys.
I didn't have to do this.
This was just because I love you guys,
and nobody cracks me up like you, Gilbert.
Oh, thank you, Danny.
Yeah, we want to thank Danny Potters himself,
Danny Bonaducci.
This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast
with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre,
talking to the great,
Danny Bonaducci, who to this day wants David Cassidy's cock.
I know.
It sounds weird when you say it.
Susan Day has banana tits.
And you want David Cassidy's cock.
I wouldn't mind David Cassidy's cock.
Okay, there.
You have it.
It was a great episode, Danny.
Thank you, buddy.
See you, guys.
Bye.
