Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Rewind: Episode #48: Lewis Black LIVE

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

In the "Amazing Colossal Podcast"s first live recording (at New York City’s Carolines comedy club), Gilbert and Frank are joined by the angriest man in showbiz, Emmy and Grammy-winning comedian, writer and actor Lewis Black. In this episode, Lewis recounts some of his funniest career "war stories," shares his affection for Phil Silvers' “Sgt. Bilko" and looks back on the day the Beatles rocked his young world and forever changed his life. Also, Lewis auditions for Woody Allen, Gilbert loses a part to Dustin Hoffman (!) and Sir Cedric Hardwicke fails to live up to his name. PLUS: David Copperfield! Huntz Hall! All aboard the “Terror Train”! Gilbert portrays a Spaniard! And Lon Chaney Jr. gets Bela Lugosi’s brain! https://www.gilbertpodcast.com/48-48-lewis-black-live-carolines/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. On Twitter at Real Gilbert, A-C-P, and on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried, P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last. name. Ah, never mind. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.

I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre, and due to popular demand, basically, my kids wanting me out of the house, we've started to try out some live episodes taped in front of an audience, and this week, we traveled to Caroline's on. Broadway, my home club, to talk to our old friend, Lewis Black. Give it a listen. You laugh, you might even learn something. Yeah, that'll have. Let me introduce you to our sponsor Zero.

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and even an idiot like me can use it. And trust me, I'm an idiot. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And we're here at Caroline's On-Dohs, Broadway in New York City. A place I think I've been to once or twice before.

Gilbert and I were talking. We were here together working 1994. Yes. I was a writer on a show called Caroline's Comedy Hour. I don't know how many people here remember that. Roasted by the late great Rich Jenny. Thank you all four of you. Remember that.

And Gilbert did the, he did an indecent proposal spoof where he was Robert Redford. Yeah. In the tucks. You can see. the resemblance. Find the clip online. It's great. So, our

guest today is a comedian, author, playwright, actor, and social critic, and the angriest man in show business not named Alec Baldwin. He's written New York

Times bestsellers, won an Emmy, a Grammy, and an American Comedy Award. and performs to sold-out crowds in clubs and theaters all over the world. His new film, Pixar's Inside Out, in which he plays the character, yes, you guessed it, anger,

opens on June 19th. Please welcome our pal Louis Black. I remember when we used to play to less people in this room. Now let's start off with a very important thing. You just found out, because I told you that Carrie Grant was Jewish. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a fucking shock. How is that... I mean, seriously, how's that possible? It doesn't seem, yeah. I mean, because his mother seems like she must have been like a German milkmaider. Yeah, how did you find it? Yeah, it's in the secret Jew news. I got to subscribe

His name was Archie Leach It was hardly a Jewish name Yeah But but was a Jew Wow I am You know Something would have been good to know When we were like nine

Now it doesn't Fucking help at all No I heard Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia Was a Jew Now you know Yes

With that name Fiorillo Laguardia Was it true? Was it true? I thought it was one of my people. Where do you read this stuff on like kosher food labels? You could be Italian and a Jew like Chico Marx. That's true.

The show's educational, Lewis. Are you a Jew? Because by looking at you, you wouldn't be able to tell. Oh, yeah, yeah. In Europe, I pass. In Europe, I'm serious. If it ever gets intense here, I'm fucking going there. They can't tell.

I mean it. They think I'm Italian. And I go, yes. Yes, I am. You talk with your hands. Yes. And I'm very expressive. I am a Jew.

But I'm not like... Hey, you know, when he says he's a Jew, I hate to, like, do a break in the show. I hate to do... ask for a second take when he says, I'll give you the signal to say you're a Jew. And then I won a tremendous round of applause. Oh, so what nationality are you? Well, I'm a Jew. You actually speak a little Hebrew, don't you, Lewis?

I mean, now that we're on the subject, you went to Hebrew school. I went to Hebrew school and I had... That's how you learned. to be a Jew. Yeah, because you had no idea. I went, you know, to practice from my Brahmitzvah, and because things weren't going well in regular school, I found a place where I could excel

because most kids don't give a fuck about learning Hebrew. But I thought, boy, I can beat these bastards at this. So I ended up, I had a massive book. I had like a 50,000 word vocabulary in Hebrew. At one point in my life, and there was nobody to fucking talk to. Did you have to learn? Did you learn it? I know, no. The only thing I know is,

Bichadee Shekhanel, Achne, sheikhambu. Gail, did you have a bar mitzvah? I never asked you that question. No, I never had, never was bar mitzvahed. I'm a bad Jew. Of course, that's redundant, isn't it? Lewis is a big fan of the Amish. I was reading in your book.

Yeah. And me of Little Faith. I like you. You admire the Amish. Yeah, because they don't fuck with you. They do what they do. You know, they basically, they're Christians or were in, or Satanus. Who knows what's up?

But they just do it. They don't fucking go around going, hey, you should, you should ride a, you know, you should not, you know, use motorized shit and ride behind a horse and sell cocaine in villages. In fact, I think their slogan is, where the Amish don't fuck with us. And now, Harrison Ford, as a good friend of the Amish, and he fell in love with that lesbian Amish girl.

Kelly McGillis. What? Who's that lesbian Amish girl again? Kelly McGillis. Kelly McGillis, yes. Yeah, we would have been here for an hour trying to remember that. It's my job. She just announced like a year ago.

Maybe a little longer ago. Well, all right, two years ago. You love the Amish, too. Yes. She said, I'm a lesbian, and the whole world said, Oh, who are you again? Help us out here. Could you toss us a bone here?

Say something. thing in Hebrew Jew boy. I have cleared my act of all, you know, there's three mentions of it, and now you're just driving me back into it. I have, you know, Baruch, I don't know, Hano, Shana, bin, Mitzvotov,

and Sivanovah, Harnik, or some... The fact that you applauded that is really, it's appalling. See, it paid off. Hebrew paid off. Now, you do a lot of political shit. This George Washington...

What those teeth would? Or were they made out of ivory? It was wood. It was wood. I learned that at the Smithsonian. No, I heard it wasn't wood. Well, I trust you. Because apparently you know shit that no one else knows.

You have a book somewhere. And George Washington was a Jew. I just found that out in the newsletter. We were recording a mini episode before we do these shows. We do another show about where we just pick movies that we love. And Gilbert remembered the tagline from the poster from a Jamie Lee Curtis movie called Terror Train.

And yet he couldn't remember the name of the show when we were doing the introduction for the actual podcast. We have selective memory. Yeah, for Territrain, it was the girls and boys of Sigma Phi, some will live and some will die. That's right. Anybody remember that?

Oh, man. No, I don't remember it. He has selective memory. Boy, that's unbelievable. David Copperfield was in that. He was. As a magician. He's a Jew.

That's usually the guys who they told us were Jews. David Copperfield, the magician is a Jew I mean Schwartz, the Mime, he's a Jew. See, now I think, see, for a while they thought like Billy Joel was the ultimate case of a Jew with a Shixir and like spitting on his parents to be with this big Shiksa.

And I think David Copperfield outdid him because he was going with a German. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My little Claudia Schiffer. Well, yeah, that's nice. But that made me think she was her amaphrodite.

That something had to be wrong. I used to, we used to work, I used to work the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. And I would be the act that would come in. He would be there for three weeks. And then I came in for like a week. And so all of his shit was backstage. And it took everything I had not to go back and fuck. Fuck with his box.

is in his magic shit. What was your opinion of Doug Henning? I never had a thought. Is he Canadian? Doug Henning. Oh, yeah. The late Doug Henning. And it's natural. Marty Short does the best Doug Henning in the world.

What did you grow up? You grew up in Silver Spring in Maryland. Yeah. So we asked us of all of our guests. Oh, see, I didn't get it. See, Silver Spring didn't get the same reaction that the Jews. No.

What did you grow up watching, Lou? I watched, like I watched Gunsmoke. Yeah. I mean, I remember that one. You know, I watched all. All right, look, the ones that really, I watched that really had the effect, Amos and Andy. I thought Amos and Andy was fucking brilliant. Well, hello, that.

Yeah, I know. You do it. You do that. I'm going to steer Pierre that. You work on that for a while. I'm glad you went down that road, Luke. It could lead to nothing but trouble. As opposed to me, you want to hold on to your career.

No, it's not so much my career, but the people bothering you, you know, the calling up. Was it true? You're on that podcast and did that strange black accent? Hey, can you name the two white? Because they were originally white. Gazznell? It was a G. They were on radio. Yeah, Charles.

Freemann Gostin and Charles Correll. Charles Corralt was on. No, it was on Amazon. Surprising. Personal. But I watch, and I'm still kind of stunned that they took it out of circulation. Seriously, because it's not, there's nothing really to me racist about that show. You know, being the white Jew that I am, I will make this.

judgment. Only because it's everything that I learned in fucking theater school about, you know, basically goes back to Italian comedy. You know, all of them are stock fucking characters. They could have been white. They were fucking funny. He sold him a house that was in Central

Park. The kingfish. The kingfish sold his house. And it was just that. The front of the house. There was no house. How fucking good is that? It doesn't have to do with black or white. It's the brilliance of pulling off that comic turn.

And it fucking fucked me up as a guy. I thought, God, damn it, that's funny. And Amos and Andy, see, people have that knee-jerk reaction. You say Amos and Andy, it's like, oh, that was racist. Yeah. No one saw it. Most people haven't watched it. Yeah, I mean, he sold him rabbits.

He sold kingfish sold rabbits to Andy. We should explain that the kingfish was a con artist. It was a con artist. And he would make his money off of Andy, who was kind of didn't get it. And he sold him these rabbits in telling them that they were chinchillas. And so that he could make and how much money he'd make off of this. And he had a chart and stuff, and you just go, wow. It was one of those things.

That and the same show in its own fashion, which, which is why I don't think it was Billko. Which was Sergeant Bilko, which was brilliant. And a ton of great comedy writers came from there. But that show, in essence, same fucking construct. You Bilko the con man with a bunch of fucking morons surrounded by him. But you added the layer of the U.S. Army that he could fuck with. And that's where I started to really get into my little,

well, it became by any authoritarian. shit. You know, that's like really because it was, I mean, I think one of the reasons that the Army never appealed to me was because they, to me, the greatest single episode to me in television history, for at least in terms of its effect on me, but I just

think, brilliant, they induct a chimp into the Army. And, I mean, how good is that? And it's a, they're bringing the, and it's because what the army has decided, which is so perfectly and I was born and raised around Washington, so It was so perfect that the Army was going to create, make do things better and faster by inducting, you know, a thousand people instead of like 50 or 100.

So they're sending these people through and the monkey shows up his feet or there. The doctor's looking down at the monkey's feet and he takes us. He just looked at 500 feet and he's going like, and then the chimp walks out and it just goes out and then the chimp gets his name because the shrink is talking to him. and what's your name it was in it was it was private Harry speak up because he wouldn't talk so he goes speak up speak up and then the one behind him took down

Private Harry speak up then he's inducted into the army but Bill Coe wants a three day pass fucking I know this is insane that I'm even saying this shit a three day pass what does that mean Lewis means you get off the fucking army base for three days so he

he tells the the guy charge won't give them, you know, the commander there, won't give them the pass. So he says, you know, well, then the chimp stays in the army because you're going to have to court-martial a chimp to get the chimp out of the army. So the whole last third of this fucking episode is them trying the chimp in a court-martial. Brilliant. And that was truly to me. I just, that was it. I said, I'm not joining the army. And that was created by Nat Heikin. Who was brilliant.

And he loved, like, funny-looking people. And it's like, you know, it's supposed to, like, years later, they'd be friends where everyone looks like a model on that show. And he also created another show I love, and that's Car 54. Yeah, which I watched. Yeah, sure. Watch that one I watched, you know, religiously. Fred Gwynn and Al Lewis before The Monsters.

And who's the other guy? Who's the short guy? You'll know. No. Oh, well, he was Jewish. On Car 54? Oh, let's see. Well, Joey Ross was his partner.

Who was one of the many comics to go, ooh, ooh. Because Hunts Hall also would go, ooh, oof. And there's one of the few things. Here's an interesting, something that no one cares about but me. My father was a friend of Hunts Halls. Really? They were born in the same neighbor.

That's great. Yeah, the Lower East Side. Who remembers Hunts Hall? Show of hands. Yep. This is what life was like. In the 30s, you little fucks. Hunts Hall was part of the Bowery boys.

Yeah. Along with Leo Garcia. Leo Garcy. Leo Garcy. Another Jew. Half a Jew. Irish Jewish. Leo Garcy.

You should start a business. Just identifying a cottage. industry. His father was Bernard Garcia. That's right. Who ran Louis Candy store. Louis Dombrovsky.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a little like stinky from Mabin Costello. It's a little bit of Joe Besser. Joe Besser, when he would pop up on Abbott and Costello. This is what the show's about, folks. As a kid, I would watch it, and I was very disturbed. Bessor? When, yeah, when he showed up, he scared me. Well, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld were such

fans of that show that the Newman character, Wayne Knight's character, Newman on Seinfeld, was basically based on stinky. They just wanted to do this homage. You can look it up. I'm not making it up. They wanted this character who was an antagonist of the main character. So Newman is essentially Stingy-I-N-the-lasts than you wanted enough. Do you know that Nat Heikin, this never happened? I'm going to get a pad. And it's an outrage that didn't. Nat Heichen wanted to write for the Marks Brothers. Wow.

But the studios had their own writers. And this was at the point where the Marx brothers were like, you know, the big store. Oh, Love Happy. Yeah, Love Happy at the circus. They were on the skits. Really, yeah. And so, yeah, that's something that could have been. You must have been a fan of Duck's,

Oh, it was huge. That was another one of those things. That whole thing where they go from war to war to where they're just changing wars and what they're dressed in and their costumes. I love that. That movie is... It's so ahead of its time. We were talking about it with another one of our guests.

I'm trying to remember who we talked about. It was maybe Roger Corman or somebody we were talking about. Maybe Margaret DuMont. No. I think it was... Actually, it was Allen's Weibel. But that brings us to Groucho. You were telling us a story in the Green Room about a friend that was developing

a television show. With a grout show? No, you said you had a friend that was developing a television show and they told him the demo was too well. Oh yeah, no, yeah, that's true, yeah, because it was the bunch line, that's why I didn't fucking remember it.

My friend had a show. The first real kind of like show where you could see comics predating the Caroline's comedy hour and a bunch of the improv and was a thing called Kamikaze on MTV. I don't know how many you ever saw it, but

Kamikaze was like it lasted 28 episodes. The guy who I work with now, John Bowman, who's my opening act, went out to LA. The guys, and MTV did, you know, what MTV could do, took something that was really nice and just fucking hammered. Until it was an inordinate piece

of shit. So he, a really brilliant physical comic, they basically took him and made him just a head. So all you ever saw was his head bouncing around and he would introduce comics and he wanted to bring people like myself who had not really, nobody knew who the fuck I was, and other folks, and I was

32, 34 at the time, and they said that I skewed too old for the MTV demographic, and so did some of the others, and some of who were even, some were older, and so he said to the folks at MTV, he said, what are you talking about? Age has nothing to do with comedy. He said, my first comic hero was, I was seven years. old and my hero was Groucho Marx. And not only was he old, he was dead. Duck soup.

One of them is Louis Calhern. Sure. Wow. Yeah. Who's the head of Sylvania. Sylvania. Was this a competing country. Yeah. Broucho's country is Freedonia. Yeah. But the other one, the prosecutor

during that big crazy trial scene is Robert Middleton best known as this is the this is the end for you flash Gordon Oh he was Ming the Merciless

He was Ming the Mercilus Good stuff And he was like Started as a song and dance man What What do you do during the day? You found us out This is how this podcast came to be

Louis We would sit on the phone for three hours at a time with him on the road bored watching Canadian television and talk about Charles Middleton. And we said, why don't we do a show? In fact, I'll tell you something really pathetic. While you

Not like the stuff before it was. You were saying your friend's name Bowman? John Bowman, when you said that in my mind I got, it lit up. Oh, that's like

Dr. Bomer. in Ghost of Frankenstein where Lionel Atwill was Dr. Bomer and Lon Cheney Jr. was the monster in that. Wow, you know, like that I remember.

And Lagosie was back as... So they put Legosi's brain, Igor's brain, in Loncheney Jr.'s It's true. And he's there and the Frankenstein make up talking and he goes you gave me the wrong brain yeah I can see

Dr. Bomer but is all the strength without brains to see without eyes to see let me give the audience some contemporary context on Lionel Atwill Lynel Atwill Lynel Atwill was

parodied by Kenneth Mars in Young Frankenstein. His character who's doing this with a mechanical arm is a spoof of Lionel Atwell's character in I believe Son of Frankenstein. Yeah, in Son of Frankenstein, that's where Lagosi first appeared as Igor. I'm trying to bring them up into the early 20th century.

At least. Move them as far as Glenn Strange as the monster, and I'm not going any further. Any further Glenn Strange played the monster in Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein because Carloff wouldn't slum and be in an Abinacostello movie. And he was the bartender on Gunsmoke to bring it back to Lewis. Yes.

We've come full circle, folks. Wow. Wow, I'm exhausted. And still alive who I want on the show is Janet Ann Gallo, who's the little girl. who befriends Lanchin' Junius' monster in Ghost of Frankenstein

is still alive. She's 114, but she's still alive. As is Donnie Donaghan. Yes. From... Donnie Donagin's family is here tonight. No, when you get a hold of her, and you're going to have her on the podcast,

could you get me an email? Yeah. Send me, notify me immediately. By the way, her entire career was 30 seconds in Frankenstein. She's thrown in the well, and she's 104 or something like that, so it's going to be a very short episode. No, I think she also worked with Avon and Costello in Mexican Hayride. You know, Lewis. No, no, that one was over, that's really over the cliff.

We were going to interview a woman named Carla Lemley, who was the granddaughter of Carl Lemley, who was the founder of Universal Pictures. And she's the... she's the little girl who says the first line in Dracula. She's riding in the carriage. Yeah. So we said, oh, we'll definitely have her the next day, the obituary. She died the next day. That is a true story.

And since we mentioned Avon and Costello, you must be familiar with... If I'm not, I will be. The Bud and Lou, a TV movie starring Harvey Corman and Buddy Hackett. No. Okay. You don't want to be. Okay.

No. Well, so you missed it was a classic death scene. My favorite death scene of all time. Wait a second. We should give them some context. This is Buddy Hackett playing Lou Costello in a TV movie about Luke Costello and Bud Abbott's life, which was absolutely terrible. Yeah. Called Bud and Lou.

They look like two guys who had never seen Abbottin Custon. And so Castello is in his deathbed in the hospital. And his agent, Eddie. Eddie Sherman. Played by Artie Johnson. Wow. Yes. From laughing, you know, very interesting.

Yes. And so he comes in and he's, he's, he's. He reaches under his jacket that he smuggled us into the hospital and it's his takeout cup and he says, I got you a strawberry malted because you're a good boy.

And Buddy Hackett, Buddy Hackett as Luke Costello, he's very weak and his head is back in the hospital bed and he takes a sip and he goes, you know, I hire a lot of strawberry mortgage in my day. But this one's the best. He closes his eyes and dies.

I wondered after hearing this, the people who hear the podcast, do you think they race out? I've got to really, see the original? Yeah. Why would you want to see the original? That's ten times better.

I didn't even see the original. I'm not going to... That's fucking as good as it's going to get. What do you need a build-up to that? I've got to see the whole movie now. And their version of Who's on First is so dreadful. Oh, it's horrible. As Gil says, as Gil says,

it's like they've never seen the routine in their lives. Tried hard. It's like, you know, what's the fella's name on first base? what you fell this Nick Lou tell us about

in your book you talk about seeing the Beatles for the first time on the solid night show No I never saw it Oh If you reference a movie

That another group of people did That played the Beatles And it was Schlebe Miccanda And fruity Takar And Moiscagong I would fucking

I heard you Schlevy McCando was it you? I saw the it seems so meaningless now. The Beatles. I saw the first time they

were on Sullivan. February 9, 64. 64 and I was 16. And it was and I and I fucking yelled like a little girl. I did. It was like, it was weird. It was very weird. You got to realize nothing was, you know, I'm, you're born and raised in the 50s. It's like, this was the 50s. Let's, let's, let's, you know, spam is like the height of culinary fashion. Macaroni and cheese is like a breakthrough for Americans. It's a horrific kind of a time, but.

But very comfortable. And then the Beatles showed up and literally I jumped up and down. I mean, you fucking, it was so different from anything we'd heard before. And I'd seen Elvis on it, but I was much younger, and it didn't have that kind of a, but this really was mind-boggling. And you just started to track them. I mean, it was like insane that that happened. And then I saw, and the first live concert I went to was that year,

I went to see the Rolling Stones. and it was the first time I even considered dancing in public because I saw it, you know, I saw the fucking McChagger was dancing around and said, well, if that brick can dance. And that was really stunning too. It was really like extraordinary. I mean, it was just like out of, it was like somebody ripped something off. You know, it was like all of a sudden it was like, and then I wasn't in the, we, we, this was how

fucked up things were. My friends and I would read about marijuana, but couldn't get our fucking hands on it. And you had a transistor radio. I was reading in the book. You had an old transistor radio. Yeah, Emission. Eight transistors. You tuned to W.A. B.C. in New York.

I did. And rock and roll just kind of... Yeah, but cousin Bruce. Changed your life. It did. It was the beginning. It was two sections of my rock and roll life in terms of that. I listened. And I listened. I was living in Silver Spring, Maryland, which is like, now Silver Spring is like a city.

I mean, it's a fucking boom town there, and there's shit to do, and it's fun. And back when I was there, there was fucking nothing. A goddamn thing, you know, like not even a spring, fucking nothing. And so at night, while I was doing my homework, I would, I'd listen to the, I'd listen to Cousin, New York, and it was like this far, you know, and I would visit New York. my family would come up here. So I was always kind of excited by it, but there was, you know, that life with your family, and let's go to chiches and have some,

you know, another Passover. Whoopi fucking do. Let's have some matzabri. That's something if you're looking for a suicidal way out. Mata brie. Just shove it in your mouth until you can't chew anymore. Death by cement. And so,

so listening. You know, I just found out that matzabre is something juicy. Yeah, I wasn't aware of this. So I listened to I listened to it as if it were like this

whole life that was going on and it was much more interesting than my life and that I, I just kind of gravitated to it. I mean, I listened to it every night, and it just seemed to be another life. And then my first job was in this. I cleaned the freezers in a friend of my family's a vending machine company. And I, you know, like with bad sandwiches and stuff, and then I would have to clean the freezer. It's a heinous job. But the music that I played there was downtown Washington, D.C., and that was all basically considered.

you know, soul music. So that was all black station. And that was like another, like, holy fuck, there's a whole other world going on in terms of music. And in the meantime, I was learning the piano from a woman who had arthritis. So it was, and I kept thinking, boy, I'd really like to do music. And then you go show up there. And she was like in her late 60s. And it cost a buck a lesson. And there was a reason, because the smell of death was in the room. And she would play and you'd look at these wizened hands

like a parakeet. You know a parakeet has those claws? Why the fuck would I want to learn this instrument? So that was the end of my music career. And I couldn't sing. I remember, I found out, I used to listen for stuff on the Beatles from Murray the K.

Sure, Murray the K, a fifth beetle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, by the way. Jewish. Is he? Murray Kaufman.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cousin Bruce's... Cousin Bruce is still doing his thing. He's still on Syria? Yeah. We're going to have him on the show.

Are you? Yeah, eventually. Well, I'm going to warn him. Yeah, warn him. Tell us the story about, speaking of TV, and I love this story. You did a pilot with my old boss, Joy Behar. Well, actually, we didn't do the pilot. You never did the pilot?

No. Okay. No, because that's the story of my career. Young comics will say, there was a series, and Lewis Black wasn't on it. But it was the first real break I had in terms of this kind of thing. I was performing Catch, A Rising Star, when it was on the Upper East Side. and they approached me and said that they were the producers of a show that was going to be starring Joy Bae Hart called The Rock, in which she would play a principal, and they wanted somebody to play the social studies teacher,

and they were going to take my act and basically write the character based on my act. And I went, you know, fuck, yeah, sure. And then they did it, and I got it. It was me. I mean, it was my act I mean, it was really a lot of it and I was the only one at that point I was the guy on the series who smoked

when you could still smoke on television even when you, even that I couldn't even get the smoking job so so I they flew me out and we got there and this was the first hint

that things weren't going to go well we were talking about how you know when your career is ending or something is going to go wrong. We were talking about it before Gilbert and I. And my friend, John Bowman, actually picked me up and dropped me off at this hotel. And he opened the door.

And he said, oh, hello. The bellman came out. He said, you must be the new bellman. That was kind of a tip that things weren't going to go my way. I went and auditioned at CBS, my first big audition, the first time. And what they do is just, it's horrible what they do. They get a group of actors, and they put you in this room outside, and then you go in, and you appear at that point, there were 15 suits in the room. And I did it. I did it, and with Joy and I did the scene,

and we did it again, and it was funny. And I thought I was great, you know, because I'm me. you were good as you I thought I was pretty good and I literally I walked to the door and this is one of the things when you go in for these auditions

you always hear afterwards so I kind of knew I said they go oh he was good but you know we didn't get to see we'd like to have seen more colors which is the word they use

because they don't know what emotions are so so I said would you like to see would you like to see me to do it again? You know, I can do this in a number of different ways. And they said, I said, you know, because I know that you're looking for probably a lot of colors in this,

and I may not have given you all of them. And they said, no, no, that was terrific. And I closed the door. Because I knew this was like, what the fuck. This to me was I was going to get this. They were going to fuck me. It was never going to happen again. So I closed the door, open it back up and come back.

And they said, would you like to see me tap dance? and the room was stunned and they went no and I said then why the fuck did I take the lessons and I slammed the door and that was that and then three days later

they told me they gave the job to somebody else as I said time and again they found a better me who knew there was somebody spending their whole life becoming a better me and you'll know who this is

and you'll probably know his fucking resume Or his grandfather's work. Paul Sand. Oh, Paul Sand, sure. Oh, my God. Friends and lovers. Yes, he was in the hot rock. That's right.

With George Siegel. And Robbman. Robert Redford. And I think Moses Gunn was in that? And Zero Mustel. Correct. And William Redfield. Yes.

William Redfield was. was in, yeah, well, never mind. What's the point? William Redfield was in Cuckoo's Nest. You'd know him if you saw him. He was one of the patients in Cuckoo's Nest. I can't remember what happened yesterday. You guys curb your enthusiasm fans?

Yeah. Well, Paul Sand was the cook that they hire for the restaurant that has Tourette's syndrome. That starts cursing. That's Paul Sand. Well, Paul Sand. Brilliant actor and comedian. And they gave it to him. And then the show didn't go because...

and and the but Paul Sand called me and said I you know I love doing your character

would you would you want to write a comedy you know write a TV pilot for me and I said why would I write it for you I can't even fucking write it for myself and that was

that was that was hilarious that was it and we were done that was your first audition as an actor it was my first major I'd done

I've been in Hannah and her sisters. I'd done things. I'd been in a couple of things, but that was the first really, holy fuck, we could make a living. We're not going to die. Joy hates L.A. so much. I'm sure she was happy.

It didn't fly. I'm probably, you know, I'm sure. Now, didn't you try to sell a show where they told you it was too funny? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And my friend Richard Dresser and I, had written this piece, mostly Richard had.

He was one of the writers on the Days and Nights of Mali Dodd. Blair Brown, and then, of course, you could go on for a decade. Terrific show. But Richard and I had this idea, and I, literally for the life of me, I can't remember the idea itself. It doesn't fucking matter. You're hanging me on it with some other people, and it's just a way to get to fucking 22 minutes.

So it was a funny idea And we took it in And it was FX FX early on FX before Louis FX before Mark Merrin FX before FX is you know It's brand now

Portlandia No that's Portlandia of FX too Oh it's IFC Those fucks they fucked me too Yeah it was hard for me to remember Because Richard and I got fucked at both of those places So if we go in

and we do it and they're holding on to it and they like it and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da and then it disappears. We don't hear anything. And literally all you want to do when you do that is hopefully the most you really hope for is to have the pilot film so you actually learn something. So you see it. So even if they reject it, you've kind of come full circle with it and you've got some idea of what the fuck you wrote.

And they said, and they actually said, we could We couldn't find out and we couldn't find out. And then finally, Richard's agent got to talk to them and they said, you know, the problem is it's just, it's too funny for FX. I said, why don't you make up something else? Can't these fuckers? Can't something be too funny? Oh, you know, boy, we can't put it on. These people laugh so hard.

People were dying, gagging on their own phleg. They could fucking spitting up their goddamn, you know, fucking lungs were being. flown across the room. They were laughing so goddamn hard those fucks. IFC those fucks did the same thing. Those prets. IFC called us to bring them a fucking pilot. Hey, come on in. We want to, we

want you to get like, hey. You know, it's like, why don't you? You know what? Bend over here. And we're going to stick of butter. We're going to shove it up your ass loose. I mean, it was unbelievable. They fucking called us. Me and Richard and another friend of mine who didn't need to

get fucked in the ass either. They bring us in. And we do it and we pitch it and they love it and done it and did you just give us eight pages? Well, you never fucking write eight pages ever unless they pay you. But we were so sure that they fucking were going to buy it. They wrote the eight pages and they went, nah, no. It's not our kind. You know what they said on that show?

It's not edgy enough. I went, how the fuck in the course of my career did I go from being edgy to fucking. Now I'm mainstream. You bastards. And David Kelly, the great David E. Kelly, wrote a show for you, wrote a show to store you. Yes, he did. That went south too. Yeah, everything.

Everything is... That was called Harry's Law. Harry's Law was a show that was written specifically for me. David Kelly is one of the nicest men on earth. and really extraordinary, an extraordinary gentleman. He called up, he came to see me in San Francisco, and he said, and this is something you hear, I'm sure Gilbert's heard this a thousand times, I'm going to write for something for you, and I really want to work with you.

Yes, yes. I said it to him. Now look where he is. I'm going to be in touch with your agent. You hear that all the time, and then you never see these fucks again, and the next time they say the same fucking thing. So David Kelly came backstage with his son and said, you know, I'm writing a pilot for you. And I said, you know, that's really very nice. And he said, David Kelly, you created picket fences and Ellie McBeal and many other.

Dougutheuser. And Boston. Boston legal. My mother's favorite show. So my mother was like, this is it. You know, this is like, fucking, my mother is going to ascend to heaven. My mother would call me and tell me, go through. through in detail the end of each Boston legal show and what the fucking lesson was.

And so, so David Kelly calls me back and says, I have the script. Would you fly out and do a reading with us? And I said, yeah. And so what they did is, is I had to, I went out. what they wanted to do was get me on tape and I went out and we did it we did a tape and it went and it was great I mean I loved it was me just me him and the director and we had a great time

and then and he let me actually he's David Kelly and I'm big on word I mean I'm bright so I'm big on words so I'm hard pressed to want to do other words but he would he let me actually he said you know now do it and do it you know don't worry about it just do what I was trying to

to write and I was really comfortable. We did that, we had it. He said, you know, I'm going to do what I can. I'm not as big in this as I used to be. It was the only network that had not fucked me at this point was NBC. So he had gone on a bidding warrant. NBC had gotten, it decided to do it. And we did this thing and And he said, I'm not as influential. Now, this is three or four years, five years after Alan McVille. I mean, he did nothing but hit shows. And he'd lost his influence.

So he then called me up and said, I'm sure that I've lost my influence. He said, they won't even let me pick the six lead. So it's the sixth person from the top of the show. And so at that point, I was, excuse me, I was writing my book. and I was in the midst of writing my book and NBC called The Negotiate with, was negotiating with my agents. And what they were offering was shit. And I mean, granted, it's good money, but it was, they were offering for an hour what you'd be paid for a half hour. And an hour of that, it's like 16 to 18 hours a day, and it's fucking brutal.

And I've got to be, I got to move to California. So that's like, you know. And I just said, I say, and I say, and I. made a number and the number was not crazy. It wasn't a crazy number if I'm going to give up. I like my life. I like going on the road. I like what I fucking do.

I like the freedom of being a you know that freedom of being a stand-up. Nobody bothers me. It's me in the audience. Nobody coming and going, boy, if you did that joke the other way, Gilbert. If you hadn't brought up Clem Kiddlehopper, we would have a hit show.

How many times I've got that over the year. I said, I was writing the book, and I really liked writing the book, and they kept calling back, and they wouldn't budge on it, and I knew that the only reason they were doing, they wanted

to start, and they were going to offer me this. You have to sign a contract before you go to the network. So you're signing the contract already. Then you go, after you sign it, you still, I was still going to have to audition for this. And I thought, wow, this is what I really thought.

And this is just from being around this for so long. I thought, they're already fucking me. They're already fucking me. And I haven't signed a contract with them. So imagine just how hard you're going to fuck me when they haven't signed to a contract. So they just had the tip in. At that point. So I said, I called David up and I said I can't.

We talked to each other. He said, I'm really sorry about it. this. I'm sorry I got you involved in this. I really wanted this to be your show. And I said, but I, you know, I said, I hope you understand. I can't do it because of what, what NBC is doing. And he said, no, I get it. And then, and then they gave it to Kathy Bates. And I thought, well, if that was the deal, I would have taken the money they were offering. And then I would have had a, you know, I would have had a, I would have gotten breast to do the role. I mean, so it was really kind of a, but he was through the whole thing. And then when it went on the air, he called me and really kind of said, I really have to tell you just how much I don't like doing this to an actor. I've said in the history of television, of all the entertainment that I've worked in, nobody does that.

You know, usually they just, usually it's the guy who's serving you craft foods as you know, they'd let you go. Gilbert, did you have? have pilots other than the Larry David? I found out I was fired from Saturday Night Live from they they brought in the new producer

Dick Ebersol and I was waiting outside the office and he was going to call me in to say whether I was staying or going and on the desk outside there were these fan letters and one was from some girl in

Oklahoma and I open it up and she goes Dear Gilbert I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Wow. Wow, that's good. And I also remember, too, because you were saying how they say, oh, we want to work with you. And I remember a movie where they were telling me,

you know, everyone working on this movie says Gilbert Gottfried for this part. That's all we want is him in this part. And so we want you, whatever you do with this great. And then after they're screaming me on like this, my agent calls and says they're not going with you. And I say, well, who are they going with? And they go, uh, Dustin Hoffman. Tell me that. Yeah.

I know you lost the part of Billy Barty. Yes, yes, yes. The only time in show business where my name and Dustin Hoffman's name, you know, the only sentence you could make is I've seen Gilbert Gottfried's acting. and he's no dust. I know. Tell us about losing the part. I was auditioning for Mel Brooks for Life Stinks,

was the name. You all know that one. Yeah. That's the way he loses his money and he becomes homeless. Oh, yeah. It was pretty horrible. Right.

And so they were also, they love me, loved me, love me, love me. And they gave it to the famous midget, Billy Barty. Yes. He acts. Who knows who Billy Barty is? Don't disappoint. All right, great. This tall. I don't know if he was Jewish. I never. Louie, you're a good auditioner. You like to audition? You're doing a lot of acting now. You're in the new Pixar movie.

That wasn't an audition. Right. But I mean, generally speaking. Do I like to audition? Yeah. No. Gilbert hates it. Yeah, no. I don't mind it in the sense that I'm comfortable going into a room from being a comic, that I do feel like it's my room. So fuck them. Because this is the way I deal with it, and this may help you.

And if it does, I'd like a little money. Because you're getting, you're the reason they're getting paid. You're the reason. You're on their fucking list. You're one of the... See, if they got the five, they're really looking at and then they got you and me and, you know, Schleppy Fartleck, okay?

Schleppy Fartleck. Also at you. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of that. And the thing is, that was his anglicized mind. Wow. Yeah. So...

But that's a bit. But, you know, we're the reason that... We're the reason that they're getting paid. So one of the reasons I'm comfortable being there is it's like, okay, you know, fuck you. You're getting paid because I'm here. So, you know, so that's

the reason. And I won't, you don't memorize that shit before you go in, do you? No. No, no, good. No, fuck that. I don't memorize it when I'm actually doing it. I just, I did just have an audition that was the

world's greatest audition. and it was Woody Allen and I went in to see him and it was for this role and I know Woody this much I know enough I was in the movie and I spent a little time with him when I did Hannah and her sister

so I'd so we're comfortable together and he was very nice and he said look he said I didn't really want to bring you in but I needed to see you to see if you were really going to play old enough for this role. And I said, it's going to be tough because I really always play young. And I said, so this is, in a way, this is like the greatest audition.

This is the most comfortable I've ever been auditioning. I said, because what you're saying to me is I'm either going to get the role, or I'm not getting it because I'm too young. And he was great. And he literally said, he did this and every one you went, I know you can do this. So I'm not worried about these words.

I just really need to watch you. Just read them and I just want to watch you. And then I'll figure out if the age thing. And I thought, how fucking good. Now that's a fun audition. And every so often you'll go in and somebody who's sitting there behind that table actually gets it.

But that's, That's rare. I'd rather have just a big Puma walking back. Because you played some interesting parts. I mean, you played a shock chalk chalk on Law & Order. You played a professor on the Big Bang Theory. A lot of diversity. You played a penguin in Forest of the Penguins. You have that saget fucking...

I was a penguin. You were Penguin in Fars of the Penguins? That's one of the greatest casts in the history of fucking movies. He was looking at it last night. He called in favors, right. Yeah, no, really. And he probably made a gazillion dollars We never saw a dollar

He paid alimony bills With that fucking movie And you played a porn director In an episode of Law & Order I did, yeah That was good How'd you research that one? How'd you research that?

I didn't have to That's a movie I have in my head I was in two law and orders as... Well, that's what you're allowed. Yes, yes, that's basically it. And as a computer geek, and I was also, I was like improvising

while I was on there. And I was like joking, cracking jokes and stuff. And then the director walks over and he took me aside and he said, could you pull back a little bit because this episode is about a little boy who's been murdered. What was the other part, Gil, other than the computer program?

Oh, but I, well, I was the computer program of both times. I remember another time I was on Law and Order. There was this pretty girl there, young actress, and I knew she wasn't a regular. You didn't remember her name. You remember Kuka. Yeah, he remembers the pretty girl. Fuck, who knows, Lewis. That hike is brother-in-law.

That might have stuck somewhere in the crevices. It's a selective memory So I said hello to her And I said So will you be playing a rape victim Looks at me with like Like smiling cheerfully And she goes

No I'm raped but I live El Lewis what happened when you auditioned for David Steinberg directed you One of our podcast guests Yes David Steinberg Uh Jew He was he was directing me on some show, I think mad about you. And I had to say something and run off. And he yells, cut.

And he goes, could you do it again, please? And make it a little faster. Run a little faster. And I said, yeah, I guess I could run faster. And he goes, no, no, I don't really want it faster, but more gracefully. And then I said gracefully, and he goes, yeah, not as choppy or awkward. And he keeps, and I'm getting more and more confused. And he's getting frustrated, not knowing how to tell me. And then finally he stops and he sighs. And he goes, can you run less Jewish? Wow.

Immediately. And that was... That's good. Here we go. Someone's already claiming this is our year. Someone else said that last year too. A round of Jamison, Ginger, and Lime arrives at a table. Smooth enough for kickoff, smooth enough for extra time.

New friends pulling up a stool. Debates about whether that was a handball. Cheers rising like a roar around the room. Because match days are about the shared moments. How did Jameson to your match day lineup? Jameson, it's what you bring. Please enjoy our products responsibly. We should start to wind down and we'll take some questions.

If anybody has any questions, we would love from questions for Gill, questions about the show, questions for Lewis. Anybody? Okay, now you want to know who played Dr. Frankenstein's son. Lionel Atwell. No, that was Sir Cedric Hardwick. He came up in the first week with Dick Cavett. We have one right here. The English actor, Sir Cedric Hardwick, who was knighted, and he was a brilliant actor, an old English, a British actor.

And I heard that he was having trouble getting an erection, having trouble with impotent. So Sir Cedric Hardwick used to introduce himself as. Sir, seldom hard dick. I stepped on your punchline. Question was here. Yes. He sings every week. Did everybody hear the question?

Kathleen Madigan is a comic, a terrific comic, and a friend of Lewis is, and the question was, how did their friendship begin? Yeah, when I first started going on the road as a comic, which was like 25, some 30 years ago, something, and I was in Chicago at a Catch a Rising Star. she was the opening act and we both

and the thing was we played at a high at hotel and the Hyatt Hotel had this bar and the bar had one of those bars behind it was like

you know they had like ladders to go up it was just not enough liquor in the universe at this Hyatt so you had to actually they declined ladders

to get shoes they had fucking tons of this stuff and we both had a real affinity to well I did I had a big affinity towards scotch. And I was going to drink every single malt scotch.

Cots gets applause. Yeah, scotch gets applause. Initially, the Jew didn't get you had to beg for it. So we just hung out at the bar and talked and talked. And she was, I've seen maybe, I don't know about you, I mean, but I've seen three comics who were naturals in my life. We would instinctively got it. And she'd been on the road eight months, and she was already pretty much a headliner.

And I'd never seen anybody that polished already and really funny, just instinctively funny and comfortable on the stage. And we became friends. And then we went out for a couple of years. And that really didn't work because we were never together. We were both, you know, headlining and stuff. So we've been, you know, friends ever since. Very funny comic, Kathleen. Tremend, deserves much more attention than she gets.

Kathleen Madigan. The question right here, this gentleman. I'd love to hear... We don't have time for that. You mean what Gilbert did? Oh, yeah. What Gilbert did was... That's about as brilliant moment as you're ever going to see.

For him? First off, first off, I'll tell you this. Where was that? That was in New York? That was, yeah, the friars. Okay, that's the first mistake. Because I'll tell you, the joke he told that they didn't laugh at was fucking funny. And it's funny, but it's not funny, fucking here.

But if you go to, if he was in San Francisco and told that joke, they would have laughed at that joke. Because San Francisco, I went out three days after 9-11. and I went to San Francisco. San Francisco is a town which is living 10 years ahead of us. They're like on their own fucking planet. It was like they already, seriously, psychically, that 9-11 had already taken place in the minds of San Francisco 10 years before that. It's why they don't fucking live here.

And I know this is hard for some of you to follow. And I can tell by your kind of skewed attention toward me. So it's not that tough. So I felt that the joke, it was an insane place to do that joke. Didn't you have a friend? Yeah, yeah, I said, the joke I said, it was a few days after September 11th. I know, yeah. And I said, I have to.

leave early tonight. I have to catch a flight to L.A. I couldn't get a direct flight. We have to make a stop at the Empire State Building. Now, at no time, did you think to turn... No!

It was three days after 9-11 and I was in San Francisco and I said stuff that I could not have said here. And the audience responded because I said stuff about Bush that I couldn't have said here. I said that that... I thought that what Bush did was as far as I was concerned

was he shows up three days afterwards and I went berserk about it. I went on stage for 50 minutes in dispute. Apparently I don't really know really what I said there because it was none of my act it was just this is where I came from and this is what

happened and then the President of the United States doesn't show up till three days afterwards. What fucking what a prick? And even they and they got it. because what are you doing three days later? You fucking show up right fucking now, you fucking asshole. If you don't want us to be afraid,

you're like hanging away. Fuck you. So I'm allowed to say that there, which is pretty fucking over the top, and it's not even a joke. So you got fucked. You were just in the wrong town. But it led to the aristocrats.

But it led to that. I mean, but for you to, but that recovery, is extraordinary. I mean, that's an extraordinary recovery. I would not. I would have actually, what I would have done was

have somebody then hold a butter knife and I would have run at it. Right here. Is that a gentleman I see? Yes, right here. Wow, you are leading the witness, my friend. The question was, Gilbert,

could you tell us how Paul Lind and what, General Patton, would feel about Gilbert and Lewis? Well, see, it turns out. Have it on good authority. having worked on Hollywood Squares, and some of the producers worked on the original, and told me that Paul Lynn was like just the most vicious anti-Semite. Is that right?

Yes, yes. And he would like, they'd have all the celebrities there during lunchtime, all exchanging stories and having a good time. Paul Lynn would be bombed out of his skull, and he would get him more vicious and he'd be sitting there going oh those fucking shoes how Hitler said a killed all of them

they're the reason I don't have a career and General George Patton who they say had a high bitch voice a high pitch voice and you know he wasn't he didn't talk like George C. Scott.

And he was a World War II general, a hero, and he helped us defeat Hitler. But they said his feelings about Jews were pretty much the same as Hitler's. And General Patton used to say in his high-pitched voice, they should keep the Jews locked up in those cans. Real briefly, why don't you tell the other Paul Lynn story? I'll bet we're taking requests. It's like Freebird. It's like Leonard Skinner.

We're cigarette lighters. This story's been told on the show. Now, I've heard someone telling me they heard a different variation on it. I heard it was like in a barn that Pullin was going to be doing dinner theater. But then I heard a better version that he was in the same. solid gold dancers dressing room which

the solid gold dancers weren't there and but Paul Lynn walks into the solid gold dancer's dressing room and he says this place

smells like cunt and then he goes but don't take my word for it that never gets old Yes, there was one over there way in the back against the wall. Yes. I love it.

Right there in the back. Did you play a character in the movie Bad Medicine with Richard Pryor? No, no, no. That was with Steve Gutenberg. I'm sorry, Steve Gutenberg. Julie Haggerty and Alan Arkin. Wow. And?

And my friend, Jogger Fuzzy. Yes, yes. Yeah, now. because you didn't say his name, he's here, and I'm going to have to fucking listen to him whine about it. Is he here? Is he actually here?

Yeah, he is here. Jogra Fossey. We're big fans. I had the wrong movie. Anyway, my character's name was Tony Sandoval. That's terrific. Is that what you wanted to know?

Okay. Fantastic. And I remember, All of us, you know, like we did it in Majored the movie, and all of us was struggling with our bad Spanish accents. And in one part, I had to say to someone who's wearing sneakers, the rules of the school. And I say, old shoes must be black. And it comes out in the film with my Spanish accent as, old juice must be black. Who would cast you as a Spaniard?

Yes. Other questions. Right in the middle, there, that left hand up. Question for Lewis. How do you feel about Trevor taking over the Daily Show, Lewis? He may think he's taking over. As long as I am present, really, I've always been, as far as I'm concerned, the show. and then

and then and then they run this stuff for weeks and weeks and weeks around the show it's one of the most unusual instances in the case of television the other stuff would actually be longer

than the real show itself no I my feeling about I don't know Trevor and the only thing that I've felt upset about was when they let Craig Kilbourne go

and when he left to I guess enter the ether yeah where is he I don't know where the fuck is he I don't know Joe Grafazi and he they didn't

they didn't really audition they auditioned some of the folks at the show at that time and they didn't audition me and that kind of pissed me off because I just thought you know etiquette

you know I'm on the show I've been on the show from the beginning I'm one of the first ones you might don't you don't have to give me the fucking job just do a pretend thing pretend oh no

it's not going to work out that's what you do if you know that's it's social graces and it's stuff that's just not seemed to be taught at the network. And this was Trevor is kind of part. Trevor's partly the choice of John and I guess, you know,

and certainly Comedy Central. But what I had said, my agent basically what I asked for was as I said, can I just take it over for three months and see what happens? And I, because I didn't really think I ever wanted to do more than three months because it's fucking, it's that interview shit. Now, I mean, I, and it really is. People, but incense. You picked the people.

And when I first worked on, when I was first working and kind of breaking in a comedy central, they had a radio thing, and I could interview comics, and they just brought me comics to talk to, and I loved it. But to sit there with, like, you know, Clara Hosewire, who's in the new, you know, duck fuckers part six. You know, and I got to go, yeah, and what was it like on the side? said and I what's Jimmy really like? I don't care. I don't give a buck. You know, and I can't get through a book on my own, let alone you're going to hand me like the American presidency, and it's like

700 pages long. I could sit on it during the interview, be taller. I mean, it just so, so I knew that I was, it wasn't something. I like doing what I do, but I'd like to have been given the three months. And I thought what they should do is then really find someone and bring them in. And in a sense, they're doing something that, look, the good news is this. As much as John is really important of the show, and it is his show, the other engine of that show, and just as important are the folks who wrote it and produced it. And the fact that he, Trevor does not have, he's not coming in with a power base. It's not like someone who's a well-known, you know, got a well-known persona bringing in their own writers means that the engine stays in place. If the engine

stays in place, it's going to be fucking funny. It's not going to be what it was before, but I guarantee it's going to be funny because we threw away, we've, I used to, they throw away more funny stuff than most shows do, and that's just the truth. So it'll, things will be fine. Now, if I'm not on the show because of his entrance to the show, then all bets are off. And the show won't be on because the studio will be burnt to the ground. Is there a part of the room I neglected? And I want to announce I've just been fired as the lead duck in Duck Fuckers Part 6.

Absolutely brilliant. Yes, right here. Yeah, I won't I can't do that Yeah I just won't Can you? No

No I mean I do know I do know people that I think are It's not so much hacks But fucks That has a big effect You know like

Don't just get the basic You know kind of You gotta be nice And shit like It's not tough It's really not hard To be nice You're working

What do you max Sometimes 50 minutes a night In the club Really that's fucking Tough You fucking asshole so you know what I mean

there's people who act like they're God's fucking gift the entitled ones there are a few of them around most people get it it's a pretty good club to be a part of we all appreciate what we do look either way you cut it for me it's that these are

if they did the work then what am I to say you know they did the work fuck it I mean I don't enjoy their comedy and that's that but I don't like to call names you know, point out people like that. I just don't, it's not my, not my nature, you know.

Unless the money's good. Do the last one? They're waving in the back. So one here is in the middle, somebody's got their hand up. Do I see it, a right hand? When did Gilbert last sing dummy in the window? You want to explain dummy in the window? What is this?

Seriously, I'm going to be sorry, you ask. I am, no, I am seriously. I'm, I, uh, I, seriously, I, I feel this has been one of the most educational weeks of my life. It's like been a week. I've learned more. I've got to get home and write the notes now. Okay. There was a comedian by the name of Larry Raglan, this black comedian who, uh, used to sing this song, Dummy in the Window.

And since you wanted it. I saw A dummy In the window Then it was you Wearing a new dress As usual Trying to look

Your best Impossible Because with you It's not really What you have Why don't you wash your face? It's a disgrace To death

A bear in the garden Whatever happened to Larry Raglan He was in duck fuckers That I was fired from Where did you wait wait wait wait wait I can't where did you Where was the song sung At that's carizing story

Yeah Yeah God damn it And I worked there and I missed it They're giving me the light Lou we want to play anything you want to plug You've got the Pixar movie coming out in June Yeah that's it

You know I mean really So your career swinging Yeah really this will be good I'll be in Traverse City Michigan next week You may want to You may want to roll into Grand Rapids You can catch me in Detroit next Saturday You did a benefit for the Bill of Rights.

Louis Black's Let Freedom Laugh. Yeah, we did a benefit. Why are they sick? And you can see that on Access TV, but you can't see it in New York, so fuck it. Oh, it's on? It's on. Really? I DVR it.

It's on Axis in New York. Yeah, but what do you have? Time Warner. Time Warner has it? Excuse me. I have a, Vios. Just make shit. Yeah.

Fios. Time Warner doesn't carry. I have Bidiya Vios. So Pixar's Inside Out, you play anger. Opens June 19th. Opens June 19th. And this is the weirdest thing. I'm going to go, they're taking us,

because this is something I never thought would happen in my lifetime. Just imagine this. They're taking us to Khan for the film festival. That's great. So it would figure, it's just so perfect that I, would get to go to Khan and how would it happen, I get to go as a cartoon character.

Lewis, I hope it's been educational. It is, seriously. I'm going to call my mother and go through some of these things with her. Thanks for doing it. Thanks for coming on, everybody. We really appreciate it. Oh, you guys were great. My stroke. Albert Godfrey's amazing colossal podcast

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, at Carolines in New York. City. Yes, we're at Carolines on Broadway. We forgot to say that. Thank you, Carolines. And interviewing the guy who claims that he's a Jew. Louis Black, accounting software built to help small businesses be more productive and successful. Sign up for a free, that's right, free 30-day trial at zero. That's spelled X-E-R-O-Zero.com

slash podcast. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it. On the internet. The folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait for it. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Giza Sleysinger, Slicinger, Slicing, Driving, Driving Friends with a YouTube. for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there,

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