Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Rewind: Episode #56: Richard Kind

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

TV, film and stage actor (and devoted “Amazing Colossal Podcast” fan) Richard Kind drops by Gilbert’s apartment to check out GG’s memorabilia collection and to join Gilbert and Frank for a spirited discussion of the evils of censorship, the joy of onscreen female nudity and the twisted genius of Pat McCormick. Also, Richard auditions for “Cruising,” duets with Jose Ferrer, gets “punked” by George Clooney and pays his respects to Soupy Sales. PLUS: Conrad Veidt! Professor Irwin Corey! Forrest Tucker plays the back “nine”! Jack Benny lusts after Gina Lollobrigida! And Tony Curtis shares a donut with Captain Stubing! https://www.gilbertpodcast.com/56-56-richard-kind/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast producer of the month for June is Ryan's story. Thank you, Ryan. If you would like to be just like Ryan and be rewarded for supporting the podcast, head over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. For a small amount, you can get some colossal benefits such as access to new podcast episodes before anyone else. Exclusive video hangouts. Shoutouts from me on Twitter. I will even read your advertisement, speech or manifesto on Twitter.

the show, go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. We thank you for your generosity. You know, we have great advertisers that support the show and keep it free for you guys. So one of the reasons why advertisers love Gilbert Godfried's amazing colossal podcast is that they know the show has amazing listeners. So about once a year, we run a listener survey to help demonstrate this to advertisers. And right now we have an all-new survey that Gilbert and I would like you to take to help us learn more about our audience. So just go to podsurvey.com slash Gilbert. The survey only takes about five minutes.

We're going to ask you some questions about yourself, what you'd like to buy, but it's completely anonymous. Your answers help us find advertisers that are matched to you, your interests, and the show. When you're finished, you can enter a monthly drawing to win a $100 Amazon gift card. What do you think of that, Gilbert? Well, what kind of questions are you going to ask them? Because we can't get too personal. No, no, no, and it's an anonymous. There are some questions I'd like to ask, but I'd like to know how far.

And there are certain questions that if I ask our listeners, I don't think I want to know the answers. I get that. I don't want to know the answers either. Once again, that's podsurvey.com slash Gilbert. And by the way, you don't have to take the survey. Yes. So that's, you don't have to reveal anything. And please don't tell my audience to slash Gilbert because they'll take it literally. Absolutely. Thanks for helping us find the best advertisers so that we can keep the show free. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried. And this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre. Our guest this week is one of the most versatile, most prolific and most admired, shut the fuck up. At least by us anyway actors working today. His TV credits are too

numerous to mention. But here goes. The Comish, Scrubs, American Dad, HBO's luck, curb your enthusiasm, Gotham, and of course, mad about you and Spin City. His films include A Bug's Life for Your Consideration Cars, the producers, Argo, and the Cohen brothers, a serious man. But most importantly, of all, he's also a big fan and regular listener of this very podcast. please welcome the lovely and talented Richard Kine. I'd like a rebuttal.

Already. You know, honestly, it's only going to go downhill because I wanted to hear you say something. I actually wanted you to do a commercial. I wanted you to do a commercial because I can't believe I'm here. You guys are responsible for me losing weight and being healthy because I listened to you now. I had my hip replaced, and I've, like, been healthy lately in working out and doing all the exercises. And I don't like going to the gym, and I have listened to every one of your podcasts, everyone, except for Gary Busey, which I just, I think it's going to annoy me. And I just haven't, I haven't, there's a couple that you did who I didn't know.

And then when I looked and saw O'Leary Weather and Julie Numer, I got to listen to that first. And so anyway. And that's what it is. Well, I heard Craigs. Oh, my God, Craig's. So I mix you with Kevin Pollock, who's a friend of mine and his go on forever. And I just, you know, I'll listen to five of yours, and then I'll go to Kevin for three, and then I'll come back to you for two, and then go back, and then you'll have a movie that,

oh, I should see, but I've seen them all. And then I just go back and forth, and Mark Marin occasionally. So you guys, podcasts will make me live longer. But to the dismay of my children. Yes. And you were listening to this podcast when you were in the hospital. Absolutely. Yeah.

But not exercising. But yes. Yes. You passed a time. You got the... Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know you don't understand how much I love listening to you guys.

Oh, thank you, Richard. You flatter us. It's the truth. And every time it's like I want to repeat everything and then say, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I have a story. Oh, no, no, no, no. this is how I heard the call-in-story. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Really about Caesar Romero, would you stop it already? How do you think I feel? Unbelievable. And I have a great, like Lee Meriwether. You know, I worked with Barbara Feldon. I have a great Lee-Merryweather story that is not flattering to her, but it's sort of funny. Oh, okay. But, I mean, we can get to that.

What do you want to ask? I know what I want to talk about. Forrest Tucker. Forest Tucker's dick Yeah, he's got a very big dick Huge dick Well, now this is interesting Let's get it right out of the suit

We knew about Milton Burl and Forrest Tucker's dicks But we found out According to what we found If this is coming anywhere near me Guy Marks Really? Yeah Guy Marks

I heard this on a show Bobby Rydell Bobby Rydell told us Guy Marks was well-in-down Yeah Yeah, okay, sure. I wonder if I marked as his real name, could he have been Italian? Like Far as Tucker was surprising, Van Johnson and I was surprised at Walter Pigeons.

I always think Jew, because he was a comic who appeared on TV. If he's a Jew, God bless him for the big dick. Honest to God. God bless him. Thank God he is the Sandy Cofax of Cock. Now, but then another Jew, I heard Bob. Someone told me Bob Dylan. Really?

As a big dick. No kidding. Yeah. Bob Zimmerman, huh? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. You've never sucked Bob Dylan's dick.

Let's not go there. Yeah. Okay. Are you still? I was more into Hard Rock. When he went on the law show. When you suck Bob Dylan's dick, did he go, ooh, Richard. Ooh.

Oh, who's swelled. Like a rolling stone. You're like a rolling stone. Look at how I'm going. Let me talk about Forrest Stockers' Cock. I have two great stories because they're really great. He fucked you? No?

No, sorry. I know. No, I didn't want to get Bob Dylan Jones. Did Bob's? Nicely done. You have not one but two stories about Forest Stockers of the Dowman. I belong to a golf club in Los Angeles, and one of the caddies there,

Now hold on a second. Go ahead. See, Forest Tucker belongs to this. Whenever I hear Hollywood Country Club or anything like that, I always think in Forest Tucker's Day, it must have been like really anti-Semitic. Like you couldn't believe. Yes.

Anti-Semitic. I got two stories about that. One was Johnny Mathis wanted to join the club, and somebody went up to the head. of membership and said, I hear that Johnny Mathis, you know, gay black man wants to join. And he says, he says, what does it look like? And the guy goes, chances aren't. The funniest joke ever written by a anti-Semitic, Jew-hating, black hating, yeah, that's a great story.

Yeah, they were like viciously. Vicious, horribly. And then I heard a good story, which is nice about Ronald Reagan. And, you know, because it's nice to tell a nice story that I, like about Ronald Reagan, but back then he belonged to the club and he was bringing his accountant, you know, his tax guy, to the club a few more times than he should. And he got a letter saying, we would prefer if you just kept it down to six times a year. And Ronald Reagan took this as an offense and he quit the club. Wow. Isn't that a great story? Now, the story

goes is that Hillcrest, the Jew club, sent a letter to Ronald Reagan and said, we heard what you did We want you to know that any time you want to play our club, please feel free. Keep it down to six times a year. hilarious. That's a nice story about... It's nice. That is a very nice story. Yes.

Anyway, Forrest talking... So this cat... Wait, wait. I heard... Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You not want to talk about penis.

This is not the Godfried. I know. Well, no. Well, Jews and penis I like to talk about. Those are my two subjects. Go ahead. I heard,

I don't know if this is true because I only heard it once that Conrad Veit or Veet, I could never pronounce his name. From Casablanca. Yes, yes. Who, what's his name? Gerbils or Goebbels,

which was Goebles. Offered Conrad Veit to be treated very well in Germany if he did propaganda films for the Nazis. A Jew? No, no, his wife was a Jew. Conrad Vite's wife was a Jew. Did not know that. What did he wanted Marlena Dietrich could do the same thing?

Oh, yeah, and Conrad Vight was in the cabinet of Dr. Caligari with this Werner Krauss. Werner Krauss agreed to do Nazi propaganda for them. Conrad Vite left and came to America, and he was doing volunteer work. with the Red Cross to help soldiers here. So you're saying Conrad Weight had a sense of morality? No, and Conrad Weight, I heard. I don't know if this is true. I hope this is true.

That back then you had to write down your nationality and that Conrad Weight would write down Jew. I hope it's true. How did you get from Forrest Tucker's cock to Conrad Vite? Because Far and Tucker. That's not a national... Wait, he wrote it down in Germany? Or he wrote it down when he came to America.

I don't know. But he would write down Jew. That's a nice story. That's a nice story. Yeah. I don't like the nice stories. I want to get to the dirt. Okay.

Let's get to some cock. We can cut it out. But I think that that's great. I love all of those. You love cock. So there is a caddy at the club who was best friends with Forrest Tucker's son. And he told me stories about Forrest Tucker. The first one was,

is that his mother came to pick him up at Forrest Tucker's house. And Forrest Tucker is out in the patio reading a newspaper, sitting in shorts, no shirt, with shorts. And he got up, and he had the paper in his hand. And as he stood up, this much of his cock went below the pant line of the shorts. And he kept indicating it with the paper. Didn't hide it. He indicated it and could see the mother looking, and at which point he was like showing off.

Just, you know, how about that? Yeah. And then the other story was... I think I know this one. The one about the give me putt? Yes. Yes. He was playing golf.

I don't know this one. And there was, you know, eight-inch putter or, you know, whatever. And he says, what, you're not going to give me this? And the guy goes, no, I want to see you putt it. And he goes, oh, come on, I could put this with my dick. And he took out his dick and he putted it. I love it. I heard a story.

One time Milton Burrell was going to have... have a contest with Tom Jones over who had a bigger cock. Is it coming out? Yeah. I only took enough out. Well, there was that story. I only took enough out to win. Right.

But I heard another story that Burl just started unzipping it. And Tom Jones looked down and said, No, Maas. Okay. No, ma'am. Yeah. All right. I'm out.

I'm out. A Roberto Duran reference. I heard a great story. This is not about. size, but this is what I... Pat McCormick, who I love. Pat McCormick was... We love Pat McCormick. Was mowing his lawn, and somebody pulled up and said, excuse me,

could you tell me how to get to such and such an address? And he pulled out his cock and he said, okay, this vein is the 101. And it's... We got Paul Williams coming on. We'll ask him about that. Yeah. Paul Williams is the nicest. We'll ask him. Ask him about losing to me at golf. Okay. Yes. You bet.

He lost to me at golf. to buy me a gift, which is still my Halloween costume. I lost to Richard King. Oh, I'm so upset about Butchutkin. You see? You guys have these guys, like it was, weren't you amazed at Butch Patrick?

Yeah, he was great. He was wonderful. And yet, when I saw that you were having him on, I said, come on, Gilbert. What does the kid have to talk about? He doesn't remember the highlights of his life. And so literate and so eloquent. Sure, sure.

And so eloquent. I thought I was great. I thought I was expecting a bitter old drug addict. That's what I was expecting. Right. He brought it. And he was like joking. He was really open about drinking and drugs.

And being chased around by Charles Nelson Riley on the set of Lidsville. I know that. I know you love Charles Nelson. I was really glad. I was happy with how Butch Patrick. Yeah. Oh, all of them. He was open.

Yes. All of those. But Billy Moomy, I knew, would be as good as he is because I know Billy. And, I mean, he's a real renaissance guy with everything. And I didn't know Billy Moomy was a Jew. He's not a Jew? Billy Moomy said he was a Jew. Hold on. I had coffee in my mouth.

What I meant to say was, what? Billy Mooney. So cute. Billy. No, it's cute. I'm adorable. Hey, I'm adorable. I can't picture Billy.

movie with a yama con. Yeah. No, no, no. Really? Moby said he was a Jew. Really? Yeah, he did. He said it on air, huh? Yes. He did. Okay, well, I listened to it. Okay. I heard Manasha Skullnick was a year.

Stop it, no. Fibbysfink. Fibre Schenkel, I hear borders. I heard the story about Pat McCormick. Go ahead. Well, I'll have to ask for confirmation from Paul. Is this the helicopter story? Yes. Yes, I've heard that.

You heard this. That's the greatest. That's the greatest. According to the story, he'd get together with his friends once a year, and they would like outdo each other with the dinners. That one would hold the dinner and they'd have to out to. So one day, all of the guests showed up at this heliport, and they were all given a paper bag with a tuna fish sandwich in it and an apple. And they were going, what the hell's this? and then they were put one by one in a helicopter

and taken up in the air, the helicopter would circle their house and a hooker would be sucking their dick in a helicopter. I think that's the greatest. I heard that. And I heard that one of the writers said the next day, his wife said, oh, so how was your night?

Then he goes, okay, how was yours? She goes, well, it was strange. a helicopter was circling. And I met Tim Conway, and I said to him, look, I heard Pat McCaw, I didn't even complete McCormick. I said, Pat McCaw, and he goes, helicopter. That's great.

The funniest line I heard McCormick make, he goes, he was like coming to a friar's roast or something, goes, I'm sorry, I'm late. I was just at Eartha Kitt's Papsmere. You got another catwoman reference in there. Yeah, right. Now, you're having a gay affair with George Clooney, I heard. It was.

Yeah. It was gay. We opted out of that one. See, I don't think. Now, I'm not going to talk a lot about George because he's got enough publicity. And he is a friend. Yes. So you can ask me anything you want, but know that I, I, who am not good at censoring myself,

who take myself very seriously. I have, well, at least tell Gilbert about auditioning for the island of Dr. Moreau, because that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, we're a, that's a great story. And we're, I'm going to say you the whole. God almighty. Okay. Okay. So, the way that I remembered telling it when I brought it up is I'm going to some casting. I'm going to tell you the whole story and it's in three parts without an ending. Good. The first part is I'm going through a line of reporters, and I'm at the Casting Society Awards thing like that. And some girl has a little tape recorder out, and she goes, do you have any funny stories about auditioning? And I start telling the story,

and she's doing one of these Hollywood looking around for who else is famous there. And I said, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm telling you a story. I don't want to be here. I don't want to tell this story. You're asking me. And because I'm here at this line, I'm telling you the story that you've asked me. So for fuck's sake, pay attention.

I said, what are you? You're like 23, 24? And she goes, yeah, and I go, okay, who are you writing for? And she goes, I'm writing for showbiz. And I go, showbiz magazine, they need so much print. You're going to print every word I say. All right, listen to me. This is a great story.

This is about George Clooney. This has Arnold Schwarzenegger in it. This is about famine. This is a huge. huge story. Okay, so listen. Okay, that's the end in part one. Part two.

Part two. I have an audition one time, and you've been through these things, but it is an audition for the island of Dr. Moreau that Marlon Brando is going to do with the little guy. Awful, awful, disastrous movie. How do you know? Am I spitting or am I sweating? And Val Kilmer. Yeah.

Yes, and Val Kilmer. I don't think he was supposed to be in it at the time. David Thueless's place or something. No, he was in. He was in it. He was in it? Okay. Yeah.

All right. So anyway, I'm in the casting director's office and I'm auditioning for dog boy. And I go, all right, you know, but, you know, I got lots of stories about, okay, I'll do this role. So I'm so, so she wants me to go through it. And I'm supposed to say something like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, master, I love you. Oh, like that. And I'm really giving it my awe. And it's on tape.

Nobody's in the room except the casting director. And I'm giving it my awe because I'm an actor, okay? And I do the job. It's most embarrassing. It's horrible. And I really do have to act like a dog. Like, I don't know. Oh, well, oh, dog.

Oh, I love you. Okay. And I'm thinking it's Marlon Brando. And part two. Part three. George is cast and's Batman. Okay? Well, who the hell doesn't want to go visit the Batman set?

Because I know Batman. I can get on. So sure enough, I go in. I go in. And I, you know, everybody's there. And I'm sitting there's Schwarzenegger before he was governor. And there's Umer. It's unbelievable.

And then Joel Schumacher comes up and goes, you're Richard Kind, aren't you? And I go, yeah, and he goes, oh boy. He goes, I've got to tell you. I was supposed to be directing a movie that I lost to John Frankenheimer, but it was called The Island of Dr. Moreau. And I go, yeah, I auditioned for that. He goes, oh, no.

Oh, I was the director at the time on that. I saw the footage of your audition. you were wonderful and I go well thank you very much and he goes oh my God you was touching you know I believed you I believe that you were so wanted to be comforting to Marlon Brando to the doctor and he so he gathers everybody right

would you do just a little of it and I go no I'm not going to do it and I go no no no please it was I've never really seen anything like it you were really touching and I go not Joel no I don't want to to do this. Go, please. So, Ouma Thurman, they're all in, Chris O'Donnell. And I go, all right.

Oh, oh, ma, oh, ma. And everybody starts laughing. George set them up. He had never directed. He was never directed. He was never directed. I love it. And that was, yeah, there's a good story. Yeah, it's fun to be the brunt. Okay.

So, anyway, so, that was that. Here's here. When you think that, how much will you compromise? one of my first auditions was for the movie, cruising. Oh, sure.

Oh, my God. William Freaking. Yes, it was. And protests and everything. But you never know when you're auditioning for the movie. No, no. But I was a kid. It was nothing.

I was straight out of college. And back at the Minskhov Studio Theater, they had this big room, okay? And they just put all the people that are in the room who are going to be extras for the movie. And you go in and there's at least 150, 200 guys there. And the guy who, running the session goes,

okay, this is a movie about homosexuality in the village, and there will be some graphic sex. If you are willing to kiss a man, suck a penis, or even have anal sex, just put a Y at the top of your resume. And I'm thinking, God, I'm an actor. Oh, God, I'm an actor. Oh, well I do?

Oh, my God. What am I going to do? Oh, my God, oh, my God. And I literally thought about it for a decent number of seconds. And that I just put an end on the thing. And needless to say, I'm not exactly what the movie Cruzen was looking for, both looks or proclivity. But anyway, that was one of the, that was one of the first.

Okay, here's another story that's pretty good because it does have to do with George Clooney. Oh, okay. To a degree. Okay. Okay. My first audition, my first audition, I'm out of college. I have a list of the stories I want to tell. Oh, go ahead.

Yeah, but I really want to go one-on-one with you, Frank, with the trivia. Have you ever done the trivia question where you name a movie, you name a star? Then I got to find a star that that movie was in. I was thinking about that last day. Well, maybe the three of us will attend the show. Yeah, but not even, no, no, no, because I'll embarrass myself. I'm nervous here. You'll be great.

All right. So one of my first auditions, I'm out of college and, you know, I have the resume printed up. I have the picture, everything like that. And I go in and there's a, what do you call it, a musical based on Buenos Aires. Sarah and Mrs. Campbell. Remember that movie? Oh, yes. With Phil Silver's and Kelly Sabales

and Gina Lola Brigida about the guys who go back to the town. Sort of Mamma Mia's story was based on that. It was based on that story. Yeah, well, it was originally from Buenos Sarah and Mrs. Campbell. It was going to be done as a musical

called Carmelina, music by Burton Lane, who was a great, great composer, and it was directed by Jose Ferrer. So I show up. It's my first audition ever. I look in, I'm referencing showbiz magazine, an audition, open call, but it's for equity. Okay?

I don't know what equity is at the time. So I show up and they say, let me see your equity card. And I don't have an equity card. What's the union? I go, oh, how do I get it? We have to be in a show and an equity show in order to have an equity card. Well, how do I get in the show if I don't have an equity? Well, you can't.

And it was the Catch 22, very famous Catch 22 everybody knew about. But he said at 5 o'clock, we're going to have open auditions for non-equity people. I go, great. So I get there at 3 o'clock to show this monitor, who's a nobody, an actor who can't work, is signing people in. But I want to show him, I'm an actor. So I get there early. And then they just put everybody into the rehearsal room. And anybody who looked slightly Italian, they picked out, of which I had brown hair. So I'm going to sing for them. But I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to sing. So they had everybody in the room, and you got up one at a time and sang. And everybody got up and gave them their sheet music. I didn't know you had to bring sheet music. It was my first audition. I had no idea. So it's my turn to go up and I go, he goes, what are you going to sing? And I go, I don't have any music. And he goes, well, what song do you know? And I go, well, I used to sing, hey there. So he goes, oh, I know that. So he starts going to go, hey there, you were there. And Jose Ferreira at the other end of the room goes, hey there, why my ex-wife had a hit with that song. And his ex-wife was very cluny. And he gets up and he pushes the piano player to the side. And Jose Ferreira.

started playing the piano and accompanying me, and I'm singing, Hey, there, you were there. And then he starts chiming in, and he starts joining me, and we sang the song together, and that was my first audition. I love it. And, of course, you're going to say, well, did you get the part? No, why wasn't it? But you sang with Jose Ferre.

But I sang with my first audition. I was accompanied both vocally and musically by Jose Ferre, and I later became friends with Miguel Ferre. Sure, who's George's cousin? And I became friends with him because of George. And here's what I'm not. Here's one for Gilbert. Jose Ferrer was considered by William Dozier before Caesar Romero.

No. To play the Joker. Yes. You can look it up. And, breaking it off full circle. Huge cock. Yeah. Huge cock.

And a real jiggleau. Here's a great story. Jose Ferre? Jose Ferre. Had a huge cock. Huge. And it was known for hitting on everybody. And one time when Dustin Hoffman was doing Tootsie, got into the elevator,

knowing that Jose Ferrer was going to be there and put the moves on him and Jose reciprocate. While he was dressed as Dorothy. While he was dressed. And he said, yes, I can do the role. That's when Dustin Hoffman said,

I looked like a woman. Jose Farreira. Now, these may all be lies. By the way, but these may be lies. Doesn't matter. All of these are lies, but they're entertaining and nobody's going to hear them. Yeah.

So, there you go. You are, so hundreds may, but who are they? Let's face it, people. Who are you? people who were really, did you all get new hips and have to listen to this? So, there you go. I love it.

All right. What do you want to ask me? I've really taken up way too much time. There's so much stuff. Where do we begin? Go ahead. What do you want to ask? Well, you were in what I consider a terrible movie. Go ahead.

There you go. That's a perfect. Great. Who can we insult now? The movie version of Bewitched. Oh, I know. I was. Oh, you played Mr.

It's terrible. And don't you think, and don't you think, if you are, if they don't have Mr. Cravitz at all in the movie, Nora Ephron writes and directs a movie, I love her. Oh, my God, did I love her? And you're Mr. Cravitz, and you're the last scene of the movie. You're in Bewit, too. You know you've got the role. You're going to be hired.

Bewitched one, who cares? You're being introduced in the last scene with Amy's, Daris. And, I mean, it was such a You were Abner? I was Abner? Yeah. Yeah, with one of my, I mean,

heroes, who was it? George. George Tobias. Very good. Were there two? There were two. There were two. There were two, but there's only one George Tobias.

When I think of Mr. Gravesy. We have a man in the room right here. Our social director, Darren Foster, was named after Darren Bewitched by his family in Ireland. Who were Bewitched fans. Oh, that's hilarious. Belfast. How about that?

Oh, that's great. Did the mic pick that up, Eddie? Isn't that great? Yeah. They got picked up? Okay. You're lucky that you were... We could have been Derwood

if they loved Agnes Moorhead. Although, I will have to say this. I always feel bad for people who were named after actresses or actors and or characters. I go, are you kidding? I was... Because mine, I was originally Heathcliff. Okay. My parents name me Dr. Bombay.

I figures I'd be one up. Okay. Well, there you go. Okay. Oh, my God. And he's still around. Bernie Fotton. Yeah, Bernie Fawkes.

He must be. He died recently. He died recently. Oh, did he too bad. Can I tell you a Gino Lola Brigida story? Yeah. I one time met Steve Allen, and I love Jack Benny. Uh-huh.

So I asked him, can he tell me a Jack Benny story? he said one time he was riding on a plane and he was seated next to Jack Benny and Jack Benny fell asleep at one point and right as he was waking up Gina Lola Brigida was walking down the aisle of the plane right and Benny looks at her and then looks over at Steve Allen and he goes you know Steve I'd like to take my cock and put it her mouth and have her say her name over and over again. Oh, you've been holding out on me. That's a great story. I've never heard that.

Wow, what a great story. That is great. Oh, my gosh. That is great. That is the first time Gina Lola Bridgeta has been mentioned on this show. It would probably pop up in the next ten.

Not to last. When West Jeffers took flight in 1996, The vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96.

Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Let's talk a little bit about Charles Nelson Riley since we brought him up because you brought up. Why? Hey, wait, can I just say? Yeah. Now, Nicole Kidman. Oh, we're back to Bewitched. She hardly met?

I don't remember meeting her. Wow. Can I just say Nicole Kidman and Ice White Shud had the greatest ass I've ever seen? And I'm one of the few people who love Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah. I think Eyeswold. You love it, too. I like it.

I like everything. I like everything. Cooberick ever did. And happiness. Yeah. I love happiness. Answer a lot of questions and sort of defend everybody who has a dark side. It's just, and everybody has a dark scene.

A great black comedy, happiness. If you haven't seen it with Philip Seymour Hoffman. And I got to work with Dylan Baker. Oh, he's great. And I couldn't believe it. And he's now a really good friend, but I got to work with him. And it was a comedy. He's just great, but I said,

That, honest to God, I would go to therapy and I would talk about his performance. Not because of, I mean, the child molestation is. It's a brave part. It's so brave, but it's. The thing is, is that we have a dark side. It's do we do something about that dark side? And if you acted out in such a fashion, that's horrible, that's criminal, that's, that's disgraceful, disgusting. But it's so interesting.

Why do people like fat women's toes? Why would somebody, I once heard, by the way, by the way, when I have laughed out loud to the point of almost hurting myself three times because you go. 12 minutes and 47 seconds before the show is over of who is the guy who wrote the book on Green Acres. Oh, Steve Cox. Okay, that episode. Yeah, we're just talking. We're just talking about it. Jerry Lewis, because I never heard that.

I don't even believe. I heard he fucked around and everything like that. I don't believe that. I know Danny Thomas. Funnyest thing in the world. Jack Brickhouse, if you knew Chicago. Chicago Cubs. Yeah.

No, but anyway, but that last couple of minutes, and I go to it and I listen and it just makes me laugh when you just start going under Jerry Lewis. I didn't speak for 15 minutes because I couldn't breathe. And he just kept going. And of course, sometimes when you just keep going, I go, oh, stop. Come on, come on. Okay, okay. I heard you're sorry.

But that one just killed me. By the way, I want to say this. That was this deep cock. Yeah, that was a great. That was great. You, I think I told you this before, because we haven't met that many times, but I told you, when I got out of college, I was at one of the comedy clubs, and I think it's the improv, but I don't know.

And it was 12 o'clock. last guy on it. You've talked about it before that you're the, you know, okay, let's put them on at the end, everything like that. To clear the room. You were defiant to the audience. Nobody was laughing. And you kept going.

And it was simply the funniest thing I'd ever seen ever, ever, with the trays, with the, with the Yubanee lips. And the squid with the napkins. I can't even remember. I just remembered, that's why I can't be a comic. That's why I can't do

stand-up. I'm funny. I'll do it. But if I'm not pleasing the audience, it's me. And you are not that. You're defiant to the world. It is the greatest gift you could ever have. You just true to yourself.

And I have unfortunately met, I unfortunately am not that guy and not that guy in my career, and I've met so many fortunate people. Larry David being the real toast. of the town because he was defiant and said, I know

what I'm doing is great. If you want to come along, fine. And eventually, Jesus, did they come along? Sure. But that to me is the greatest gift. And that's why I can't do, that's why I've never done stand-up. He used to go even deeper. I mean, remember the old shows at the Seaport, the Carolines at the Seaport?

And if they weren't laughing, he doubled down. And more Ben Gazzara jokes. And Floyd the Barber. But you were the first I ever saw do that. And literally, I said, I simply can't do that. I don't have what it takes. And I want to be great at what I do. And I couldn't be.

And I know I'm funny, but I'm a reactor and stuff like that. But that just told me. It was. I would start doing Clifton Webb. That's right. He used to do the bit about Gavin McLeod and Tony Curtis sharing a donut. Yeah. Do you know that bit?

No, no. Because I didn't see you much after that. Will you do a little of that for Richard? Oh, okay. I haven't done this for years. Oh, great, great. But this is. Tony Curtis talking to Gavin McLeod.

Hello, Gavin. Hello, Tony. How are you? I'm fine. Would you like to have a cup of coffee? Okay. Would you like a donut with that? Yes, I'll have one too.

So you will have two donuts? No, I will have a donut same as yourself. So you will have a donut. that resembles me? No, I meant although we are both eating two entirely different donuts, the very fact that they are both

in the pastry family. That's the short version. The long version was about 14 minutes. That's great. Oh, memory lane. I haven't done that for years. Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. Memory lane.

I meant Gavin. And you would do the 14 minute version. Oh, yes, yes. Right. And it coyed the barber and Bob Dylan. Oh, yes. And I'll have to do it for him when he comes over.

Paul Williams. I would imitate. Oh, yeah. We have Paul Williams coming up. I would do Paul Williams fucking Shirley Temple. Oh, God. Wow. Who am I to stop it?

Wow. Please go. Please do it. Oh, my God. I'm the happiest man right now. Paul Williams fucking Shirley Temple. Oh, Shirley. Shirley, oh, your pussy's so tight.

Oh, oh, put your big cocky, Mr. Williams. Oh, oh, suck my dick, Shirley. Oh, I want you to swallow my cock, surely. Oh, me. Ooh, me, oh, oh. Oh, my gosh, that's hilarious. So you don't want to talk about Charles Nelson Riley. I don't know that much about it.

Well, I saw you say how you didn't. You didn't see his one-man show. You can't? No. So you were on Kevin Pollock's show and somebody asked you, Paul Lind or Charles Nelson Riley. And you said Charles Nelson Riley and you regretted that you had not seen his one-man show, which, by the way, I saw in L.A. It was fascinating. Yes.

And I, if you ask me, I would like to do his one-man show as Charles Nelson-Riley, but not doing an imitation. Because the thing is about Charles Nile. Okay. You want to know why? Yeah. And it sort of relates to this, is that we don't know exactly. what these people are like. For instance, you're here doing Paul Williams

getting a blowjob. From Shirley Temple. But nobody has seen the beautiful picture of your family. That's true. Right. I mean, there is another side and he's a father

to Gilbert Godfrey. Two beautiful children. We don't know the other side. Butch Patrick, we don't know the other side. When I look on the playlist. Caesar Romero. But no,

Caesar Romero has, but these are iconic people from our youth who we only perceive as we saw them when we were 10 years old. They grew up.

Our impression of them did not. Our impression of Charles Nelson Riley is a fool on Hollywood squares. A match game. Match game,

I'm sorry. And yet, a huge, such a literate man, directed operas, directed Julie Harris, best friends

with the great American actress, Julie Harris and Helen Hayes. The great American actress, he was a best friend. He was a very respected stage director. Truly a brilliant, brilliant man who, la la, la, you know, was. So that's why is because, you know, I tried to quit Spin City. And here's a fascinating thing. Ted Knight tried to quit Mary Tyler Moore. We just heard the story from Ed Asner.

He told us. Did you have Ed Asner? Last week. He told us that Ted Knight. They believed he was an interesting. The Ted Knight went to Alan Burns and said, I can't play this part anymore. I can't do it anymore. I can't do it. I can't do it. I walked out. You're an idiot walking down. That's how everybody perceives you.

And I couldn't take it anymore. Needless say, they wouldn't let it. Michael Fox, brilliant, just had the, I went to Mike. I said, I can't take it anymore. And he was so smart. He goes, I don't think my partners would allow that. Isn't that a brilliant? I mean, he was so smart. Mike Fox is just. a great guy, brilliant, more smart than anybody, and just a fantastic human being other than what he's been cursed with and why he's a hero now, just a great guy. So, Ted Knight, you know, but this is how we perceive him. Wouldn't you love to have Ted Knight on and go, oh, my God,

yes. But you know he's smart. Well, Charles Nelson Riley. And when I look at some of the people that you had, I go, oh, God, are they going to make fun, you know, but they don't. They have, they've evolved. Well, yeah, we want to be affectionate to these people because we love, because we love them. You only know them with affection. We love them. And yet, when they proved, like Larry Storch, here's a great thing I meant to mention. Oh, hold on. Here's a great bit of trivia.

Oh, God. First of all, I got to work with Larry Storke. Remind me Larry Storch. Because these are stories that I want to tell you because they're going to love them. No, these are, I don't want to have these over coffee. You might as well do them on the air. But I worked with Larry Storke. On Broadway.

Great guy. Do you know that F Troop was really? one of the highest rated shows to ever be canceled. And do you know why? This is something that he didn't. This is interesting. I don't think I know. Because they would work from 7 in the morning until 1 o'clock.

Get a lot of stuff done, get it done. And then they would go out and have lunch, and they'd go across the street and get drunk. And they'd come back and the whole afternoon was shot. Really? When you think of it, Forest Tucker could knock him down. Sure. Edward Everett Horton.

Everybody but Ken Berry. They were all drinking. And that's why the show got cancer to cost them a fortune. They couldn't. I never heard that. Yep. Wow.

I love the F-trop references in Serious Man, by the way. There's a running gag. Now, could you, oh, also. Go ahead, but I have a great story. Okay, go ahead. Because I also worked in the same show with Professor Irwin Corey. Do you know him?

Oh, yes. Why don't you get him on here? You will die. what that man is capable of. This guy is a red from way back. Oh, yeah. Way back.

Yeah. Big lefty. Yeah, huge. Right. And he's nuts. And he's talking about his daughter getting murdered out on Long Island and he blames his son-in-law and everything like that. He was crazy, but fascinating.

You can listen to him for hours, but it's medicalized. I think he's a hundred years old now. He's still alive. Yeah. So anyway, I go to, you like this. I live on the Upper West Side near Campbell funeral home.

Soupy Sales dies. Well, I got to go to Supi Sales Memorial, right? Of course. So I show up, and I'm sitting there. A lot of people there, and Freddie Roman is, you know, doing the hosting. He's doing the Jessel. God, I love your Jessel. So anyway, he's doing everything, and he's introducing everybody.

And about 20 minutes into the service, Erwin Corey comes in, baseball cap, a long Columbo coat that's half open with a t-shirt. And he's walking slowly down the aisle, because he's 100 years old. He's going, hey, hey, hey, hey, you know, waving to all the people as somebody's up there talking and, you know, memorializing soupy sales. Freddie Roman comes up and he says, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest. He just came in. You love him.

He's going to say a few words. Professor Irwin Corey. Everybody starts applauding. Erwin Corey stands up. Going to toast soupy sales. And he goes, Soupy sales would be alive today. And Amanda, you know this.

Do you know this is true? Soupy sales would be. be alive today. If everybody had medical insurance in this country and starts going to Obama care. It's all and the Obama care with everything. hilarious.

And Freddie Roman comes up and tackles and he goes, thank you very much. Okay, Professor Erwin-Corri at Suppy Sales Memorial. He starts going off on health care. Alarious. It's like when they said Fred Travelina did material at Richard Jenny's Memorial. No, we did. Yeah, that's what

they said. They had to pull them off. Oh, Christ. Yeah, that's the story. Now, okay. I had heard If you have a question? Yes, go ahead. I heard a story you told that on Spin City at one point

like you and the rest of the cast and had a terrific cast on Spin City. Great cast, great. And you'd show up, you'd be on the set, ready to work, your costumes, everything,

and that Michael J. Fox wouldn't be there. And you were getting pissed. You heard the right story. You've probably heard it for me because I am I think I'm a nice guy there are times when I find myself airing

in not being a nice guy but sometimes it's not with my knowledge so here's the scoop and of course today I feel awful but we were all told that Michael had developed Lyme disease so we were not told anything and actually we weren't

he just he would go back and he would need a massage and we knew that or then he had to go talk to somebody or he would have to have a meal. Maybe I knew it was Lyme disease, but nobody was in on that he was stricken with a disease. Now, you know on sitcoms you report to work at 9, 10 in the morning. On Monday you do a read-through and you go home. Okay, or maybe you work two or three hours. Then Tuesday you work from 10 until 2.

This is great. This is what happens in four camera. We were there from 9 until 7. and often we weren't working. And my, I could only justify it with, well, come on, are you kidding? Why are you keeping? And we were at Chelsea Pierce. I said, give me two hours.

Let me go to the gym. Let me go and do an audition. Let me go. I'm sorry, we can't let you go. Come on. Are you serious? I'm here from nine until seven every day. What are you kidding?

We got to push the run through. until five, well, so I was ignorant of all this and I was, uh, resentful of my time, quote unquote,

I was making a good living. So everything was great. You thought he was just being a diva? I thought he was being a diva. That's exactly it. Fascinating. Now when you hear what it was, oh my God,

I'm so sorry, but I got to admit in my harshness, I don't regret reacting like that. I, I couldn't believe it. But they couldn't let me go because, What if all of a sudden he had a burst of wellness, of energy? Let's get to work.

And it's what you had to do. What I have taken the job if I knew this? Of course. But I didn't know. So we were not told until the last year what it was. So that's what it is. So yes. Am I a bad person, Gilbert?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Pick on the short guy who's got up. He's got Parkinson's. Didn't he leap into your arms when your first met him, Michael J. Fox? When he came to Chicago? That's another audition story is Gary David Goldberg had a show called Champs,

and I wanted to audition for it. I think Kevin Neal and got the role or something. But all I wanted to do was audition for it. Gary David Goldberg said he's wrong for the role. He's wrong for the role. Okay, fine. Spin City comes on and it comes around. It's the hot pilot for that season.

You know, every season you get one or two. Oh, my God, look, who's producing it. Look, oh, I want to be in J.J. Abrams. What's called Spin City? originally, wasn't it? They had to change the title because of the conflict with... So, I am impressed, yes, but okay, come on. So anyway, so this is the big script. I read it. I go, I'm right for Paul Lasseter. I'm right for this role. In fact, I went into the casting director's office. I asked to

audition for her to say, is this how it should be done? Because I wanted... And Gary still said no. I'm sorry, I didn't say that. Gary still said no. I'm sorry, I didn't say that. Gary still said, no, I know Richard Kine. I don't want him. I don't want him. Bill Lawrence did. And that was his partner. Okay, that's who co-wrote the show. So Bill requested me. I go in to read for the casting director.

I know what I say to myself, if I get called back for this role, the part is mine. If I don't, it's because I'm too tall for the role. They don't want a Jew. I'm too urban. You know, they have other people. But if I get called back, I know this part is mine. It's Michael J. Fox. I don't know whether

this is something that would calm me down. I would go to a therapist before an audition that was important like going to the network and talk things out and usually I would get my energy up and I would feel good and I said I'm going to audition

for Michael J. Fox today I'm meeting him. There's a story that happened at Second City. It was funny, we were doing this one game where I mean I came in and it was an obvious line that told everybody where I was

he established that he and Robin Duke where mother and son And I open the door and I go, hi, honey, I'm home, which of course meant Robin was the mother and Michael was the son. So I go, hi, honey, I'm home. And Michael as brilliantly as he could, I mean, like a dancer, strode one, two, three and leaped up. And the only way that I hit into my arms and the only way that I can tell you visually, it was like David Letterman doing the Velcro where he got on. Oh, sure.

And that's what it was like. and he's, I'm strong, but I'm not that strong, but he's what, 130 pounds? And he went, one, two, three, boom, into my arms. And he clutched there. And I'm telling you, the applause went on for three minutes. That's great. It was something to behold.

It was just a lovely moment. So I tell my therapist, should I say this story? It goes, yeah, you got to have an in. Of course you're telling him. I go in and I say, Michael, we actually have met before. Oh, yeah, where? And I go, well, you were in Chicago doing the movie set of And you came to Second City and you, you improvised with us.

He goes, I'm sorry, I was so drunk and high. I don't remember going to Second City. He goes, because I barely remember doing the movie, which I thought was great. And so that was, yeah, that was what it was. I also knew, this is clapping my hand on my back or something, I knew that I would get the role too, because while I was reading it, Michael had two. handles and on his chair and when I said one line which I remember

being brilliant but I can't remember what the line was but they was really good writing he literally grabbed onto the chair and pushed himself up and switched legs he was laughing so hard you know it was one of those oh my god he's hitting the right the right note you were fun on that show was nice yes

thank you thank you that's all all right please turn her to your hymnal at page 42. What else? What else? If you name names, I got a story. Okay.

Go ahead. Okay. Okay. Because Craig Bierko was on the show. Oh, yeah, Craig. You asked for that. Well, I asked Craig. I said, what do you want to ask Richard Kind?

He said, just bring up my name. He had the funniest line ever. He was at my wedding, and he gave a toast. And he said, the astronauts were up in space, and they saw two things. the Great Wall of China and every acting choice Richard Kine ever made. So that's...

I didn't know he could draw. There's that wonderful drawing of you. Yes, of being in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. So I'll just throw out names? Go ahead. Let's talk Lee Maryweather.

Okay. Okay. Because it's got another name that you're going to love. Oh, God. And then Gilbert wants to know how you met Kevin McCarthy, too. He wants to because you...

Oh, that was great. How do you know? Invasion of the body snatchers. Oh, was he a nice man? God Almighty. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

So, okay, the Lee Mary Weather story is, God, I can't believe I'm coming out of another. Is it what do we? No, I'm not. How much time? You're great. Okay. No, it just feels long when you talk. To you?

When are you going to get me out of these handcuffs? Okay. So, God, I can't believe. this is the third time I've mentioned a therapist. I haven't been to a therapist in years. Anyway, so I'm in L.A. and I'm at a therapist that actually is a real famous therapist to the stars type of guy.

You pay way too much money for this guy. I didn't go to him for a long time. Like you, I am cheap, but with myself. But I'm really cheap. I'm very generous to others. What makes you think he's cheap? No, no, no, I've heard all the stories, all the stories. In fact, just this morning, I went downstairs,

and I found a great table out and garbage and I took it upstairs. I mean, I still... Oh, no, no, no, I'm the cheapest of the chief. You heard how Busemi, how he wouldn't split the cab would be... That is hilarious. Oh, God. And I wouldn't even talk to him.

And you were the star. That is hilarious. Anyway, I was going to this guy who, this is... It's got to be over 10 years. It's got to be, even more than that. 15 years ago, I think the guy was 225, a session. Can you imagine that many years ago? But what he really was was

a motivational speaker. And he He would say something about blah, blah, blah. And he goes, no, you're being a baby. You're being a pussy. You know, you're weakly. No, be strong like that. And he would say, die a death. That was the object, was to die a death.

I'm scared to do that. Do it. You're not going to die. You want to go to the edge of the window and jump 10 floors. You're going to die. My advice is don't do that. But you want to go out and, you know, do something. Be brave.

Die a death. You will find that you'll wake up the next. next morning. So that's what he did. It's die of death. Okay. First part. I come out of the office and believe it or not, I run into, you're going to love this name. You're going to love it. Hold hands. Richard's touching us. Frank, a letter. Frank, a letter. Frank, who? Frank a letter. Come on. Frank, a letter. Come on. Frank, a letter. It's about time. It's a bank. It's a letter. It's about time. Frank a letter. It's about two guys. It's about two guys. It's about time. It's about two guys. the craziest place. Frank, I'm so upset. Joey Ross. Joey Ross.

Frank a letter. I'm so ashamed, Richard. You should be ashamed. You're nervous being around me. I do. I do. I'm intimidated. So, I see Frank a letter on the street.

He's walking with his wife and a beautiful girl. Beautiful. Well, I see the girl, but I want to talk to Frank a letter. And I do. And he's so complimentary to me. This is about the time of mad about you, maybe a little later or something like that. But it's years ago, and I can't believe I'm meeting Frank a letter.

And his daughter was stunning. My kind of build everything. She had been an actress. She's now a stunt woman, and she was on Circus with the Stars. And she says, oh, I just worked with one of your coworkers, who, Alila Kendall, who played my wife. I'm mad about you. And I go, oh, like, oh, wow.

And so we talk for about 15 minutes. It's a wonderful conversation. But I hightail it to mad about you. And I go, Lila, you got to give me her number. You got to give me her number. And she's beautiful. And I couldn't ask there because the, you know, the man, a letter was there. So it gives me the number.

And I'm sitting with the phone, die a death. Call her up. She's too beautiful for you. You know it. Die a fucking debt. Do it. So I call up. Let's say her name is Julie.

Hi. Is Julie there? No, may ask who's calling. My name is Richard Kind. Oh, what is this about? Well, I met her the other day on the street, and she was so pretty, and I know a friend of her, so I got her phone number, and I'm calling to ask her out on a date. I see. And who is this?

This is her mother. Lee Meriwether? Yes. From Time Tunnel? Yes? Oh, my God. I love you. Oh, my God.

I love you. Oh. Oh, you're so gorgeous. Oh, my God. Of course you're Franklin Lutter's ex-wife. Oh, my God. I'm so stupid. Anyway, would you give her my number?

No. Oh, hilarious. I don't know whether or not she said no. It was Lee Mary Weather's daughter. It was Lee Mary, and I'm on the phone to Lee Maryweather. Can you believe it? I'm on the phone to the... Years later, I'm at the theater, and Barbara Felden was at the theater, and I know her, and she's with Lee Meriwether, and I told her the story, and we went out for drinks, and she was very, very nice, as you obviously saw.

But it was Lee, I'm on the phone, too. I mean, everybody, I don't watch Barnaby Jones. I don't watch Our TV. The only Our TV I watched was when I was a kid, and was Time Tunnel. I love it. James Darren. We just hung out with him this weekend. I loved James Darren, and it was Lee married by that. And it was not Lloyd Nolan, it was the other guy. Not Michael Rennie.

Who's the guy? Richard Denning? No, no. Longed in phase. It was in the day the earth stood still. Oh, Michael Rennie? Michael Rennie. No, no. The scientist guy. And it was Sam Jaffe?

No, no, no, not Sam Jaffe. No, who I just saw an asphalt jungle the other night, guys. Oh, wow that one. You'll know who it is, and I can't. I'm old, and my knees don't work and my head doesn't work for all. And it's horrible. Oh, tell your, tell your Kevin McCarthy, because I have a Kevin McCarthy story. No, I have no, Kevin McCarthy.

You just met him at a party. I met him at, did you ever go to Norby Walters, either card game or his, the wax museum, the Oscar night party? No. Oh, every year I go and I just say, I can't do it again, I can't. But there are great people. At Asner, always there. Right.

But one year, Kevin McCarthy. And I literally spent an hour to an hour and a half. He was, and I'm pumping him not just for body snatches, but for a death of a salesman. Oh, sure. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I remember. Is that me?

Is that my phone? Just turn it off. Well, who would? I'm kidding. Lee Maryweather's daughter calling. Oh, I remember. Give me a Kevin. After I did the aristocrats.

Right. And then they did, like, they recorded me again for the DVD. And I started just improvising and I started saying, you know, the aristocrats thing. And I said, and, you know, he fucks his dog and the dog is, uh, eating, blowing the sun and blah, blah, blah. And I go into this long, disgusting, perverted thing. And I say, this is a common practice of character actor Kevin McCart. You just randomly pulled out Kevin McCarthy. Right.

It's out of my ass. Right. And so one of the guys recording it knew Kevin McCarthy. So he told him. And Kevin McCarthy was like a hundred. Yeah, but he's a funny man. Yeah.

And he said to him, he goes, you know, Kevin, you know, Gilbert Gottfried. He goes, he talked, he told the whole story about fucking a dog and the dog blowing. a guy and blah and he goes and this is a uh he said it's a common practice of character actor Kevin McCarthy and Kevin McCarthy angrily says to him well that's offensive and he goes yeah well you know Gilbert has a and he goes I'm not a character actor I'm elite that's great that's I love that one I love that one such a sweet sweet guy Right. Speaking of the aristocrats, I found it interesting.

I was watching an interview with you and Sam Cedar, and you were talking about you're not a fan of people who apologize for jokes. You were talking about that onion, that infamous onion joke. Oh, yeah. Well, you're talking to the right person here. Oh, absolutely. But that's what I said. He's defiant.

Right, right. No, I've never apologized for jokes. The only time you should, what I hate, look, I was supposed to tell the, I want to tell you, I was supposed, I know Paul Provenza. Yeah. And I was upset. that I was not asked to do the movie. Yeah, because I tell a pretty good joke.

Yeah, the aristocrats. But he had too many people. And I was once in a panel for censorship. Paul Prevenza was on it. We were talking about the aristocrats, and he did me a nice thing. And he said, somebody said, does anybody not know the joke, the aristocrats?

And they said, Paul, would you tell it? And Paul goes, no, Richard, you stand up. So I got to tell it. So it was very nice. But you don't apologize for the, those jokes. As a matter of fact, if you don't make those jokes or if you censor yourself, you know, Jeff Garland said a really wonderful thing. He said, we're all, we get angry at other people, but you have to stop yourself and say, I know what I'm made of. I know that I'm

angry. Don't be angry. You have to grab a hold of your anger. You can be angry, but you've got to Graham Hall. It's like what we were talking about before with, you know, there's a line up to what Dylan Baker did. Inhappiness. Yeah. To attract to a child, you just can't act on it. But to censor yourself, what you did was as liberal and wonderful a joke as could possibly be, because you cannot tell that in a place that will censor you. So that's why I think, that's why I admire you. It's why we all admired Lenny Bruce. You know, it goes way back.

Wow, that's as nice a compliment. But it's true. It's true. And it's why I can't do the dangerous stuff. Sometimes if somebody writes me something, I'll do something dangerous. But I can't stand up there on stage and be as dangerous as you are. I also feel like when people get offended, which they love to do. Right.

Yes, yes. And I feel like they're patting themselves on the back. Of course. See, I was offended. Well, it allows them to participate. Yes. Right, and not just be... And I always feel like with the whole...

Yeah, but there is the other side, which is me, is that I laugh too much. Yeah. I show, oh, look at how liberal I am. And I have to catch myself then. Don't be so holier than now. And, you know, it's the opposite end. You know, I try and catch myself there. So that's what I do.

So what do you want to talk about? You want to talk about Carol Burnett and Carol and Company? You want to talk about Max Biali Stock? Carol Burnett was, well... You were on a comedy anthology series, not a sketch series. You know why that was canceled? You know, I've had two shows that were canceled for wrong reasons. Luck, everybody thinks it was canceled because of the horse.

It wasn't canceled because of that. The horses were fine. The horses were like orphans in a Dickens novel, Dickens novel, who gets saved by the judge. Luck was we should just tell for our viewers was your HBO show with Dustin Hoffman. Yeah, HBO show with Dustin Hoffman. And then Carol Burnett show was canceled. It wasn't canceled.

It was really a good show. There were weeks that it would fail, God knows, but it took a chance every week in giving a half-hour genre, whether either a sketch or it could be a musical or it could be a... Carol and Company. Yeah, Carolyn Company was like a Jules Pfeiffer,

one act or something like that. And Julie Andrews and Bert Reynolds, both of whom were good friends with Carol, said, what are you doing with that show? You do a variety show. You can't do that. And then they went on to have very miserable shows when they found out how hard half hour is.

But we were really, it was a great cast when you think of, of, Terry Kaiser, remember Bernie and Jeremy Piven and Peter Krause. And it was really good. She was great. She was, I mean, she could tell great stories. God, she was. She's a nice lady. You know what she is?

You know how nice she is, and you'll understand this, is when you go in for an audition, it's like their arms are folded. show us. Give it to us. Go ahead. Where you got? Carol, when it was your turn, you're sitting out in the hallway, the monitor didn't come outside, the producer didn't come outside. She came outside. And she literally said, I hear you're wonderful. Come on in. Her arms were outside. And she was so genuine. She wanted, you see, that's the bad thing about Hollywood. They don't want you to be at your best. They want you to, they want you to audition under the work. circumstances. I sometimes understand that, but it's not right. Let's see, have them be forthcoming and say, you might be able to give us greatness. Let's see what you got. My old joke, only actors, you ever go to NBC to test for a series? Oh, yeah. You remember that small room? There's like a circle,

like almost, it's got plenty of space. And all around, there's like a piano and a radiator and a window cell and every there's 25 people in there and they're all perched on the radiator or on the piano but you've got a lot of space and you feel like Suzanne Plachette in in or Tippi Hedron in the birds

is that you're sitting there and all of a sudden all these birds are flying in and they're just ready to peck your eyes and that's what it felt like going into NBC and it's a small room you got plenty of space but oh god all these people

just sitting there like, you know, Mr. Potter. What do you got? Are you a good auditioner? We asked Lewis Black the same question. Okay. This is what I wanted to refer to, because it's why I say I want to listen to all of these stuff. I love to audition. You do.

I'm the freak who loves to audition. Because Gilbert hates it. Okay. Okay. Here's the thing. An actor cannot act alone. A comedian can't do a spit in front of the mirror. A painter can paint.

a writer can write. You've got to have one other person. In fact, I'm glad all these people are here because you don't see, we've got about six people here who I can make laugh. I'm not just trying to make you guys laugh. I'm trying to really get them. It's like the camera. When you do a sitcom, you don't want the audience to laugh. You want the cameramen to laugh. If they laugh, it's okay. You need an audience. If I go in for an audition, somebody's in the room. I got to play for them. I got to entertain them. And that's what I do. I'm an act. actor. I want to act. And if I feel this is, when I teach acting or improv or whatever I do, which I don't do much, but the best advice that I can say is if you believe, you got to believe you're good, you got to believe you're right for the part, you go in for an audition and these people, you want the role. Fuck that. Fuck you want the role. Say to yourself, all you guys who have written this show, you want to be the guy, you want to be Larry David,

you want to make a fortune. I'm your guy. I can help you make a fortune. So you take it all off you and you put it on them. Wow. And you say, I can help you. You just better cast the rest of this cast as good as me or else this is just going to suck ass.

But if you want this role done correctly, I'm your guy. Just cast it as good as me. Now, that's how I feel. I can do a good role, but you got to believe it. You got to believe it. By the way, I also believe that when I think back on the four cameras, sitcoms that I used to do, oh my God, I sucked.

I was so overacted. I was so, I was entertaining. Early days? No, even through, I look at it. I did a show called The Middle, which I hear was, it's a great show. It's very successful. So I go on as the dentist, and it's sort of an emotional, important. thing where this girl is

wants to get her braces off and I convince her keep them on so that when we take them off your teeth will be great okay I go in I give I I've got the part already which I don't like it and remind me to tell you why I like to audition for the second reason but anyway I go in and

I give a very nice it's funny but I'm sincere let the kid get the laugh she's looking funny with the brain let the mother get the laughs not me it's the part isn't that funny I'm a dentist who's asking her to do it And they all go, oh, Richard, you're great. You're great.

Oh, my God, you are the king. You are the king. You're the best. You're the go-to guy. And then the director comes up. Can you just amp it up a little? We want it a little bigger. And I go, no.

No, this guy, I'm not that actor anymore. She goes, I know. It was a wonderful director named Lee, Lee, Shalachemel, who used to direct a lot of Spin Cities. She goes, they just want a little bigger. I go, I can, but it's not right. what they want. Well, it was quite big.

I wasn't entirely comfortable. The scene went well. I then went home and watched the middle, which I had never done before. It's broad comedy. I can't do that anymore. It's just not what I'm made of. And maybe I'm not that funny anymore.

I don't know. I can be big. I can, God knows. Even when I try to be small. You know Dan Castellanetta? Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Homer Simpson. Yes, Homer Simpson. He and I were in second-seated together. I am more animated asleep than he is awake. That's the wrong word to use for an animated. Somebody who makes his living in animation. But I move more while I'm sleeping than he does. My mouth is big. I'm just big.

But I've learned how to act for a camera, I think. am I Alan Rickman? No. But, you know, and I'm not a a chameleon actor. I do what I do. But anyway, I think I've gotten better.

Now, the other thing about I like to, the reason why I like to audition is because if I audition and I get the part, they're telling me, we saw what you're going to do. We like it. Do it for us. But if you show up cold on set

and you do it, what if they don't like it? What if they say, oh gosh, we didn't see it that way, which is what happened in the middle. If I had auditioned, I would have done it that one way. I would never have gotten apart. So like my friend Tom McCarthy or Scott Silver, they were doing an independent movie. And I had small roles in it, but I took them both out for coffee

and I said, let me just read the scene. I read the scene and they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. And then I said, okay, then I'll do your movie. They have to say, yes, this is good. Does that make sense? That makes a lot of sense. Station agent? Was that one?

That was Tom McCarthy. Yeah. Oh, how about that for a lovely, lovely movie? Very much. He's great. Great director, great writer, great man. He's great. He's great.

Yeah. What do you want to throw at this man, Gil? Chair? Oh, my gosh. Oh, God. Who's your, I saw you recommending films. I saw you recommend Witness for the prosecution. You know we do these little mini episodes.

Yeah, for those. Well, everybody. loves Billy Wilder. If you know anything about film, although it's not exactly a Billy Wilder film. By the way, if you want to know what kind of movie buff I am, I was bar mitzvah

November 15th, and on Saturday night at the movies, the fortune cookie was playing. So we had the bar mitzv in the afternoon. They all came over to the house, and they did that. I was in my parents' bedroom watching the fortune cookie. Wow. I love that one. Yeah, so that's, if you want to know how I know movies.

I mean, and I would sit, like, if they, if they, if you ask about lenses or stuff like that. I know nothing about movies and about the technicalities and how to act for a lens or what the lighting or anything. I know nothing of that. But I would sit on the toilet for hours and hours just leafing through books about the Oscars

and movie trivia. I just, that's why I know it. That's what I love doing. We got Leonard Moulton coming up in a couple of weeks too. Oh, there's a marvelous. That's going to be fun. I had a great ride at the Sundance this past year. we were going all over Bumpfuck

Park City on a bus and he and I were just talking he's a great guy his wife is lovely his daughter he's great oh God will you love We're looking forward to it So give us a film

that we don't know about Another Okay charade Was I know that you guys I was president of my senior class At Pennsbury High School And I did nothing

I did my junior class I did it for my just to get into college, we'd look out on the restaurant. I was no leader of all, although I could conduct a meeting, but the only thing I did was I had a double feature

on a Friday night of Sarade and Westside Story. Now, here's what I'm asking you. Ned Glass. Good for you. I had the Net Glass Film Festival. That's the only thing I did. It was called the Net Glass Film Festival.

Did I redeem myself for Frank a letter? I feel so much better. My gosh. Yeah, it was the necklac. I thought I was going to die a death. Yeah. Yeah, I feel better. The other movie, okay, here's a movie.

Here's a movie that I, you know, I, a, uh, sometimes you see a movie or you see a play, and you went home and you got laid that night and you think back on, wow, that was a great play or great movie. And really all it was was you got laid. And so it was really just a great night. Well, I had, I went to do a summer stock. and we did City of Angels way out in North Carolina. And City of Angels is not a play you're doing Summerstock. It's just too smart.

And that's how I think this guy picked it. Well, I certainly, I was young. It's not because I got laid. I just remember seeing this movie at a time when I was young and impressionable, and I really loved the movie. Did you ever see Soldier in the Rain? Oh, yeah, with Jackie Gleason. Jackie Gleason and Steve McQueen as buddies.

It's a buddy movie. Yeah. And Steve McQueen plays this dumb guy. And Jackie Gleason, who I loved, plays a very strong character. Tony Bill is in it. I don't think I've seen it. Tuesday Weld. And Tuesday Weld has the most beautiful line.

They're all looking up at fireworks. And they go, wow. And she goes, it's so sad. And they look at her. They go, why? And she goes, it's so beautiful. And then it dies. And I thought, oh, my God.

It just hit me at a time. It's not a good movie. I don't think, but it's a movie I remember fondly. So, say, we recommend those movies that are flawed, but we have a special experience of them. I think Soldier and the Rain is a really interesting, weirdish movie, and it's before the 60s kicked in. Soldier in the Rain. We all love Tuesday. I think Joseph Sargent, which is a, I think he directed it.

I don't know. What films? Yeah. Do you remember when you saw them, you thought were great, and then you saw them again and thought, were terrible. Well, an interesting thing is, how many times have you seen a movie on a plane that you really liked? And then you see it again and you go, God, that just sucked. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But on a plane, why is it so good? Because you got the earphones. You're in prison. It's so small. You are locked in. Like, when you go to the movies, do you sit up front? Do you sit in the middle?

Do you sit in the back? I sit more in like the middle, I think. Okay. I go up front. Yeah. I like to be enveloped in the whole movie. I don't care what my neck feels like. like to sit up close. So that's what I think

a movie does. The movie Plaza Suite is a terrible movie, but on the airplane it was just fantastic. Great talent in that movie, too. It's just a shame. And the play is okay. It's, it's, it was good of what Neil Simon did. It was really pretty good.

Oh, God, what? Let me think, God, that's such a good question of a movie that I loved and then I saw it again and it just, well, I loved Beverly Hills Car I love, love, love, Love, Love, Bellevilly Hillscop.

And then all of a sudden, Are you in Beverly Hills Cop? I'm in two. The second one. Well, that was never good. That's hilarious. Now, Beverly Hills Cop, you met the guys? Oh, my God.

This is the best movie ever. And then you got to the middle, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is great. And then they have to wrap it up. And the third act is just for shit. It's just off. Unfortunately, they did it again. I sort of remember you.

But no, the first part is good again. Do you meet the villains? Everything like that. And then they got to wrap it up. And it's just bad. Some movies don't have a third act. I saw one last night. I really liked.

The one Tom Hanks directed, that thing you do. I didn't see. Which I really like. It's an affectionate look at a band in the 60s. And it just doesn't really go anywhere. Yeah. But it's a great trip. Yeah.

Well, I like movies like that. You know what's weird about that movie? And it shows like, did they edit it wrong here? Because all of a sudden, in the middle of the movie, we get introduced to a black door man. Right. He's the jazz fan. He sends the drummer. And then at the end of the movie, he wraps up the whole thing.

And, you know, and you go, well, if he's going to be such an important character, he should have been at the beginning of them. That's a very interesting. He might have been. He might have been. That's what I think. It might have been sloppy editing. Right.

Yeah. Or they had to get it down to 90 minutes. Yeah. What can we cut out? But here's something is that, you know, I try and show my kids

old movies. And of course, they just thought, oh, right, but when they were young, they liked Harold Lloyd and Charlie Chaplin.

Here's a, I never liked Laurel and Hardy, and I'll be damned if I know why. Isn't that interesting? But I never did. I love W.C. Fields. Anyway, I showed my kids the in-laws.

And... The original, of course. Of course. Of course. And I said, this is the greatest. It is the best. And as I'm watching it, it's even better than I remember. Oh, that's great.

And my kids hated it even more than I loved it. They're just, it's just stuff. I showed them the 39 steps and the lady vanishes, which they begrudgingly liked. I said, if you like that, watch North by Northwest. It was eternal. We had to turn it off. They couldn't stand it. And yet I think, and I'm watching it.

I'll tell you this. Here's something very funny. This is really interesting, and I only noticed it because I watched it, because I have a big screen TV now. When I was young, and I saw the Godfather, which of course is iconic and I love it dearly, and I love it like every guy loves the Godfather, I never understood why Al Pacino was so great. I knew why James Kahn was great. I knew why Brando was great, and I knew why Cazaar was great.

I bought Michael Cullion, but they went on and on about Al Pacino's performance. I thought he was not dull, but he was quiet. You didn't talk him. What do you tell him? Everybody was big in the Italian. He was quiet. Well, because I think I'm a better actor, finally, finally I realize why his Michael was as brilliant as anything we never seen. He has the least showy role of all of them in the first one.

But everybody says, but he got so much attention. Then all he does now is pick showy rolls. No. Go be great at what you do. We know how showy you are inside behind those eyes. Show us, show us that, but talk soft. You know, he was, he is great. I mean, even Dick Tracy was a movie that happened to.

Who knew he was that funny? It was hilarious, hilarious. Who knew he was that funny? Two great understated roles where he didn't show the scenery, two Michael Man pictures, Heat and the Insider. And he's great in both of them. Well, Michael Man, God, I got his stories about it. Although in Heat, he has that big scene of, oh, she's got a big ass.

He's got the one scene. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm one of the people who, when De Niro and Pacino are at the luncheon at the diner. It's great. Yeah, you think it's great? I think it sucks. Really?

I think it sucks so bad. You know what it is? Okay. I used to be in these acting classes. God, this is hilarious. This is so far back that we would go to. They were called cold reading classes. Now, any actor worth their salt does not do a cold reading.

They get the script ahead of time. They work on it a night, two nights, maybe even a week. You study the script, you become good. This was, he had a stack, the guy who ran the thing was this Italian guy. God, what if I can't remember his name. A lovely guy, though. But all he was doing was getting laid because he was this handsome Italian guy. He had a stack of TV scenes or movie scenes.

And you would pass him out or you'd pick him out or you pick a partner and you get it. And they're usually man-woman scenes. And what you would do, you'd be hitting on the girl while you're rehearsing the scene. You'd go outside. And the most beautiful mom. and these girls were great. And all these Italian actors who would be going in there. And they knew, you don't have to work hard.

You pick up a scene. You go outside. You read it over once or twice. Then you start hitting on the women. And so here's how they would act. They would go, hey, they will go, how are you? And you go, yeah. They'd pause.

How are you? And they go, good. And they would take all the time in the world. They would get the emotion. and then they would say their line like that. It was the worst acting ever. It was horrible. Horrible.

They would feel it. These Italian guys were, you know, swarthy and, you know, in their muscle t-shirts or the tight, like, or whatever. And that's what I saw. You thought De Niro and Puccino were that way. I thought they were doing those Italian actors. Interesting. They're just taking, hey, I hear you, what you're doing? Interesting.

Take another look at it. Maybe you'll feel differently about it. Now, look, I'm not one to assault the Niro. So if you're listening, you're free-rainer. You're not. But if you ever hear this, I happen to like some of their other work there. You know what? What I think when I watch that scene?

What? Are they even in the same room? Exactly. They're not reactive. Right. Is that true? You never see them once in the same frame. You never in the same frame.

There's no two-shot? No. How bizarre. Look at us overlap. They never. overlap. They say their line. Interesting. Oh, now I have to go look. Yeah. It's a, yeah.

Now, but how thrilling it is. They couldn't get it in a week apart. Yeah, how thrilling. But it's like seeing, here's a movie that's terrible. directed by Arthur Penn, it's a Missouri Brakes. But Arthur said he just, you know, he was never supposed to wear a dress, and Arthur just threw up his hands and, hey, what are we going to do?

That's Brando. Yeah, but Jack Nicholson is great. Yeah. But Jack Nicholson's acting. There are good moments in that movie. Yes, of course. Of course them as well. It's not... Look who you're out. You're dealing with.

It's not entirely a success. And Thomas McGuane, I think, well, just good. Too much talent. Yeah, but it's, it's, it's, uh, Marlon Brando jerkinoff. So it's, you know, it's something. But, uh, anyway, that's, uh, that's, you're going to be late for your appointment. So we should, uh, we should, uh, we should wrap it up. Okay.

Have I talked too much? No, it was wonderful. I really talk a lot. I wanted to wrap it up when you before. But you want to know something. I was, here's what I was really, really, really excited to be here. I love. Thank you.

this show, this was everything I thought it would be. I was worried that I would take myself, and I think I did a few times too seriously. And, like, I would cut you off because, no, no, no, Gilbert, will you stop it? Because I started to tell. And I sometimes take myself way too seriously. But you know how much I adore you,

and I think the world of you, and knowing you on this show is wonderful. And you, I was so looking forward to meeting you. Same here, Richard. Same here. I'm delighted to do this. I'm sorry I was different than what you expected. And, no, no, no, that doesn't matter.

And Alan's Weibel, who was responsible for me getting here. Can I tell you a really funny Alan's funny story? Okay, sure. Is he not the nicest man? Oh, yeah. And his interview comes off as the nicest guy in the world. I had never met him before. Everybody told me he was nice.

He wrote a play called Bunny Bunny, which Bruno Kirby did. And it's about his relationship with Gilda Radner. And I saw it, and I loved it. And I saw him at a party the first time. This is years ago. And I went up to him and I said, I just think so much of your work, and I saw Bunny Bunny, and the biggest compliment I could ever give you was,

I really would love to play that role. And he was so dismissive. He went, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he walked away. And I went, oh, oh, God. And then I got to know him years later, and he is the nicest man. But the first time I ever met him as dismissive.

And I tell him this story, and I laugh. Because he is, he goes, that's just not me at all. hilarious. And I go, I know. So he is responsible. for me being here, and you guys are as nice as Alan. Well, you know, we're flattered that you listen to so many episodes.

Everyone. Everyone. We're thrilled. Yeah, it's great. It's great. I hope you do this forever and ever. And I don't know how you make a living on this. I'm still, I'm so computer illiterate. Neither do we. And I don't Twitter. I don't Facebook. I don't do any of that. Anyway, thank you. You come back and do another one where we just talk, well, just talk movies.

Oh, I'd love that. Oh, yeah. Bring up the obscure movies. I'll make a list of those things. That would be great. I want Robert Osborne to ask me to come on and do that. And I know Robert. I know him, and he's never, I don't have, I have a modicum of fame. You are beloved. I'm liked.

And you are very. So. I have one last question. Why was your character in Scrubs named Harvey Corman? Why do you think? Go ahead. Just an homage? Because Mandy Corman was one of the writers, and they named it after her father.

Mandy Corman spelled C.O. R. M.A. Like Roger Corman. That's right. Right. So. Cool. Uh-huh.

That's it. Cool. That's it, buddy. Okay. I got loads more, but we'll talk later. Okay. Now, do you have anything you... She's saying, wrap it up.

If you don't listen to, what I guess is the producer, much less your wife. She is the producer. She was saying this when you walk. Yeah. Rough it up. Enough. Enough with the Jews. So...

Next time, we'll just talk movies. Oh, but one thing. Can I ask a favor? Oh, one favor. Would you do the rabbi? Would you do the rabbi? Would you do the rabbi? I want to see what you look like

because it makes me laugh every time. I know. I know, I know. I know you always have your eyeside. I know you always have your eyeside, but you're channeling the guy. You're not even looking for my reaction. You're just... He's a method comic.

You look like a death man. Hilarious. All right, wrap it up, please. Richard, we loved it. Thanks for doing it. How do you have anything to plug? Yeah. What's coming up?

You're in the new Pixar. Let me tell you this. I'm not going to talk about my character because actually they're doing all of the advertising without me as a character. Bastards. No, no, no. It's for a good reason.

It is the finest. it is, it's the, along with serious man, it's the thing that I'm proudest of. It's, it's, it's, it's the Wizard of Oz. It's, it's, it's the greatest. It's, I can't believe I'm going to go down in history like this. This is a special, special movie. It's special. Really?

Okay. Great. I cannot talk highly enough. Anything else to pick up? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We had to read to yesterday of all 10 scripts. I'm doing a series for Amazon called Red Oaks, Red Oaks.

Oh, I can. We haven't made the series yet, but the pilot you can watch on Amazon Prime. It's great. It's, look, Steven Soderberg produced it. Wow. It's really good. The cast is good. I'm riding the coattails of kids.

I like riding the coattails of anybody. Just, you know, chisel me in into some scene and let me do it and then get away. It's really good. And it's sort of like a combination of Caddyshack and the Flamingo Kid. It's really very, very entertaining. Two of my favorites. I know. Mine too. I'm really proud to be in it. And I was really worried what the scripts are going to be.

They're great. They're really, really good. Terrific. But I got nothing. I got nothing. All right. You'll come back. We'll play movie games. Okay, good. So I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre. And we've had on a fine actor and friend, Richard Kind. And we, this is a historical show, because we were a little.

little different and we talked about actors with big cops. Gotta shake it up a little bit, man. We, we walked out on a limb with this one. He's seen Valerie Parine naked and we didn't even talk about that. You saw Valerie Parine naked? There were 900 people with me. Yes.

It was the play. Lenny, right, right, with Cliff Gorman. She used to be. Love Cliff Gorman. What I loved about Valerie Pryne besides the, obvious is she was one of those actresses who had no problem taking her clothes on. Oh my God, when you think of it.

She and the one who won the Academy Award, Julianne Moore. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's new it all the time. All the time. God bless her. God bless her. It's fantastic.

It's God bless her heart. Oh, you want to hear a very funny story? My daughter found a phone on the street. And my daughter's a wonderful, wonderful girl. and she knows how she brought it upstairs. We were able to text somebody and gave them and said, this is Richard Kine, I'm at this number, somebody who you know lost their phone.

We have it here. Sure enough, we were too, they came down to get it. But my daughter and I looked through the pictures. This is not exactly honorable. We look through the pictures while we're there, while we're waiting for her to come. And there were a couple of shots. in yoga thing, and then there was one

with her naked. And I turned it off immediately. So we go downstairs to give her the phone, and Skylar this. She leaves, and I said, Skylar, don't you feel good? She goes, no. All I could think of was seeing her naked the whole time. I thought of her breasts. I just thought of her breast. And I go, I want to say, well, there's many people I've met like that. Julianne Moore. I, loveliest woman in the world. Now she is. All I do is. What movie did Julie Ann Moore show her bushing

in the shortcuts. And a lot of boogie nights. Phenomenally. Well, Boogie Nights, of course. Sure. But no, no, no. Shortcuts is masterful. I love that picture. She just was a masterful nudity.

I love how quickly you answered. The show is turned into Mr. Skin. But she's such a good actor. I know. I love. That does come. She's so great. God bless her. Yes. Thanks, Richard. This was a trick.

Thank you, Richard. Have I said too much?