Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - GGACP Rewind: Epsidoe #62: Judd Apatow

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Writer, producer, director and “Amazing Colossal Podcast” fan Judd Apatow took time out from his busy “Trainwreck” press tour to stop by Gilbert’s apartment and entertain the boys with stories about everyone from Jack Nicholson to Albert Brooks to 100-year-old character actor Norman Lloyd. Also, Judd writes the Grammys for Garry Shandling, gets a letter from Andy Kaufman, “stalks” Steve Martin and pitches a movie to the Rolling Stones. PLUS: Mel Blanc! Sammy Shore! Jimmy Durante hides out! The brilliance of “Broadcast News”! Gilbert wishes Lon Chaney, Jr. well! And “The Last Days in Fred Silverman’s Bunker”! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, you like making great money, right? You sound like Chico Marks. Yeah. You like a great money. Hey, boss. Well, you got to get the book with horses in it. And then you get the book with the riders. You're picking a subpar Marx Brothers movie. Yes.

Yes, we all like making good money, Gil. What's your point? Oh, I have none. Okay. Okay. Here's a really cool opportunity. I had to share with you. Uh-huh.

Driving with Uber. Uber's that popular smartphone app that connects riders with drivers. Ah, yes. I take an Uber a bunch. I love them. And in chatting with the different drivers, some of them have really interesting stories to say as to why they drive with Uber. Now, that's unusual because you usually don't like it when people talk to you. I usually go shut up.

I'm in show business and I'm above you. No. They love being their own boss. Yeah, I love being my own boss. Then I can make a joke that offends me and fire myself. Absolutely. And cut out the middleman. And that still may happen.

Also, I hear they make great money. They do. They do. It's easy to start. All you need is a car and a license. Now, you have one of those things. No, yes. Yeah, yeah, it's one of them around here. I don't know what. And driving with Uber is great if you need flexibility.

Or if you're a parent like you are. Yes, yeah, because you're working around the family schedule or students. Right, that's right. They can make money in between classes. It's true. Now's the prime time to cash in driving with Uber people. You'll thank me. You'll thank Gilbert for telling you guys how to get paid every week.

And Gilbert himself could be getting into your car. In fact, he probably will be because he doesn't have a license. Yes, yes. I could be getting in your car. I don't know if that's a drawback. Maybe I should say, hey, I promise I won't get into your car. That's even better. Then more people will sign up.

That's even more appealing. Now, you've got a car and you've got a license, not you, Gil, but the people I'm talking to, put them both to work for you and start earning serious life-changing money today. You sign up to drive with Uber. Visit drive with Uber.com. That's drive with ubeer.com. Gil, you're a celebrity. You're a famous person.

You need protection. Yes, yes, because a lot of people see my show and want me dead afterwards. Including some collaborators. Yes. I want to tell you about a security camera that's going to change your life. FOSCAM.

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But like a three-year-old would have to explain it. But three-year-old needs personal security. And they're like small and versatile. a super wide viewing angle. That's true. With HD 720, as we said, 720P video feed resolution. Also up to 26 feet of night vision. Motion detection alerts go right to your phone via text or email so Darrah could see them and alert you.

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and a one-year warranty on every purchase. It's a great deal. Just go to www. Foscam. dot U.S. slash C-1, and you'll be linked to the C-1 Amazon page where you can use the code GILC-C-A-S-T-1,

and get $10 off each C-1 that you buy. That's F-S-C-A-M-U-S-S-S-S-Lash, the letter C and the number one. FOSCAM. Watch what you love. anywhere. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.

I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopatra. Our guest today is a writer, producer, director, and comedian who is responsible for some of the most successful and profitable movies of the last 15 years, including the 40-year-old virgin, knocked up funny people, and the... recently released train wreck. He's also produced hit films like Superbad, Anchorman,

Pineapple Express and Bridesmaids. Television credits include everything from the Ben Stiller Show to freaks and geeks to the award-winning HBO series girls. I'm running out of room on this card

already. His new book is called Sick Sick in the Head, Conversation, about a life and comedy. We're proud to say he's a fan of this very podcast. Please welcome a genuine show business mogul and the second youngest guest we've ever had on the show. The other one before that was 80.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jud Appetow. I know. I was thinking that it's weird that I'm on this show. show due to youth and I was like, how's my career going? Usually it's a look back.

It's just like getting on the Joe Franklin show basically. Right at the end. I am a big fan and I like to listen to podcast before I go to bed and a lot of times I like to go to sleep to podcasts. It's like having friends in my ear but you laugh

too loud and so it doesn't really work. So I'll listen to you for a bit and then I have to switch to like, you know, on points, on NPR or something where they're talking about Afghanistan to actually fall asleep. But you can't go to sleep with Danny Banaducci telling a blowjob story. No, you can. You can't.

It gets you too excited. Yes. Now, now, am I mistaken? Someone said this is, you know, with your movie train wreck, this is the first publicity you're doing for it. This is the first interview. That's sad. Yes.

I didn't get on any of the shows. Yes, it's such a massive campaign, and it started with taking the head beforehand. And there is a moment where people are like, seriously, you need to stop doing press at this point. But when you're doing a movie with a new star like Amy and you're up against Marvel movies and all the giant movies of the summer,

you have to do a crazy amount of press because I feel like if I do 20 interviews, most people see one. And then there's like a small amount of comedy fans who see a lot and get irritated. But for the most part people will have heard or seen one thing. Now, we were talking

before you got here, Frank and I that in your book, you say that some comedian wanted to see your dick. That's true. And he's not going to tell us who it is. That's true. And it wasn't Gilbert.

I interviewed this one comedian and we were in a restaurant in the village and I I go downstairs. There was like a basement bathroom. And then suddenly he's at the stall next to me. And then he turns and goes, let me see your dick.

And I was like, what? I'm 16 years old. And no one had ever seen it at that point. And he's like, come on, let me see it. And I'm like, why? And he's like, I have a bet with another comedian that I can get you to show it to me. I just want to win the bet.

And I don't know if I've rewritten history, but in my head, I think he may have also said, and there's another section to the bat, but I'm not sure if I just assume that. And I go, no, what are you talking about? No. Which is amazing, because I loved comedians so much. It's a wake-up call. It's amazing. I didn't just blow him right there. Like, I'm really proud of myself as a young person that I didn't.

You showed restraint. You should replace him by showing him. Now, please tell us who it was. Well, you obviously could figure it out in like five minutes, but I can't say it, although... Oh, we'll tell us later. Off the mic. That person probably is doing time somewhere.

But it isn't a long journey for you to figure it out, Gilbert. Let's just say that. Is it Gallagher? Or Gallagher, too. You're going to hit my balls with a mallet. Was it Yakoff Schmiernov? I could guarantee you it was not Yaakov or Gallagher. Was it Jackie Vernon?

He's like, this is me and the car. And here's us picking up a hitchhiker. And here's me hitchhiking. Here's some slides of your penis. How many people do Jackie Vernon, Judge? When I used to go to the laugh factory in 1985 when I first moved to California, he was still doing stand-up at the laugh factory. He used to do the slideshow, right?

He used to do the slideshow, right? Yes. He used to do the slideshow, yeah. Here's a slide of me going in the Lincoln Tunnel. Here's a slide two days later of me leaving the Lincoln Tunnel. I'll contemporize it a little bit for our guests, for our listeners. He was the voice of Frosty the Snowman. Oh, yes.

Jackie Vernon. Yes. I did not know that. Yes, a little worthless trivia. So when he asked to see her. Are we going to do an hour on it? Yes, yes. Did he go, can I see your penis?

Hiving? Yes. Well, then it would have been you. Yes. Would have been. Let's talk about Norman Lloyd and train. We'll talk a lot about train wreck. But let's talk about, is he 100?

100? 100. He's 100. He's 1001. I believe in October or November. And I was talking to Ed O'Neill. And Ed O'Neill, from Modern Family and many great things, said, you need to meet Norman.

He lives down the street from me. And at the time, he was 99. And he said he's so sharp and so funny. you got to go out to lunch of them one day. So I took him out to lunch, and afterwards, I kept saying to my producer, Barry Mendel, should we put him in the movie? And we just didn't know if you could fly a 99-year-man.

And when we had lunch with him, he was so sharp and hysterical. And then afterwards, we walked him to his car, and he drove himself. And I wanted to see how he drove. And he drove really well. And on the way to see him drive off, he told us a story about watching Babe Ruth play baseball. Oh my God.

That's how you know it's a little scary for him to get in the car. But I was also impressed that his car was not in a simple place to get to, and he fully remembered how to find it. So after a few months, I said to Norman, can you do this? Like, could you go to New York? And he's like, of course. I can do it. And so he flies to New York by himself.

You would think someone would attend him. The whole thing solo, I go and call him the next day. And I said, how did it go, Norman? Everything okay? And he said, everything went perfectly, although it took me three hours to figure out how to shut the lights in the room. Now, this is a man that worked with everybody. He worked with Chaplin and Busterke. And Hitchcock and Sabatzer. Oh, sure, everybody.

And he is so funny. And he turned 100. and in almost a year since he turned 100, he seemed sharper and even stronger than ever. We did a show at the Wiltern Theater promoting train wreck where we all did stand-up, and I had him come out and introduce one of the comedians, and he was riotously funny.

And in fact, in the movie, I don't know if the joke even works that he's so old because he doesn't look old. Right. It's weird with Colin. I saw the movie Friday. It's weird with him and Colin in the same senior center. Exactly.

the same recovery center, a retirement center. But he's a great guy and so fun. There's a great video online of Method Man explaining the concept of the Wu-Tang Clan to Norman. Now, what was the show he was in? St. Elsewhere. Yeah, and he was also in Dead Poet Society. He's in a million things. And this leads me to my next question.

Was it Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton who asked you to see him? Well, it was Chaplin, but he did it in a more sentimental way. You'll have to hook us up with Norman for the show because he's just, you know, he'll be our, what, our fourth youngest guest? Yes. Oh, my God. He's incredible. And what's fun about Norman is you wonder if he's just running the same 20 stories. Uh-huh.

But then I took him out to lunch the day before we started shooting train wreck, I called Mike Nichols and I said, let's go out to lunch, and I'm going to bring a surprise. And I brought Norman to lunch because I thought that they would have things they could talk. about that other people wouldn't remember. And they talked for three hours. Wow. And what was wild was I got really tired and they didn't. Like I was exhausted and running out of gas and just sugar crashing and they were just going and going. It was pretty fantastic.

He's perfect for us, Norman Lloyd. Oh, my God. Because before we turn the mics on, I was saying to Judd, we've had now four guests that have worked with Keaton. Oh, it's in shame. Paul Dooley, James Cairn, the great character actor, and what was he on, Frankie Avalon in a beach, in a beach bingo movie. Well, Norman played tennis every week or multiple times a week with Chaplin. So if you ask Norman about what Chaplin thought about anything from that period, he knows. Like, what did Chaplin think of the Red Scare?

What did Chapin think about this? And he remembers just his basic viewpoint on things. We got to call him up. Other things about train wreck I wanted to ask you about. And tell us how it came together, because you heard Amy on Howard Stern? I was driving to work. I heard Amy, and she was telling stories about her relationships. And a lot of stories about her dad who has MS.

And there are really dark stories. And she told them in a really warm, hilarious way. And it sounded like a very interesting relationship. And I just sat in the car. You know, when you sit in the car and you don't get out because something's so interesting. And I thought, oh, she's a story. Storyteller. I've seen her stand-up and she's really funny, but when she tells a really long story, she's very gifted. So I asked her if she ever thought about writing a movie, and that led to Trainwreck.

You know, Gilbert, most of my scouting happens over the radio. You know, I'll listen to, like, Fibber, Mickey and Molly and try to book them, and they're like, they're dead. Yeah, that's our problem. You listen to the shadow. I'm looking for new comedians. See, now I've done Howard Stern, 15. thousand times. Right. Never once. I never called you. I never called you. I can't even

get a Chuckles comedy club. Chuckles and miniola? Yes. That's the first place I ever did stand-up was Chuckles and Vinnieola. Joe Bolster was hostin. I knew it well. And that's where I used to do it. Chuckles and the governors in Eastside. But Chuckles was the first place.

Okay. This brings me to my other most important topic, me. Yes. When was the first time you saw me? I used to go see you in the city, but I definitely saw you at Caroline's twice in around 84, 85. We used to go to Caroline's at Hill's Kitchen. Oh yeah, and I remember I went with like 10 people and we all came into the city to see you. And it was unbelievably great. It was one of the great shows. And Carolines was the only place that would let underage people in to see the show because it was a supper club.

And so I remember I saw Seinfeld there. I saw Pee Wee Herman do a stand-up act. It was the only tour he ever did as a stand-up. And everybody, Charles Fleischer, Howie Mandel, that was my favorite place to go. You know what I remember about a story about Pee Wee Herman at Carolines when it was on, it was like

in the 20s in one point. And you had a walk across the clock. I hate those one. You got to walk to go to the men's room. You got to squeeze through the audience. And, you know, he couldn't keep his head down.

and just hide because he's got, like, you see, you see his Pee-E-Herman from 10 miles away. So he used to keep a jar with him in the dressing room to pee in. That's an old Saturday Night Live technique, which is all those writers pee in jars. They're working. Well, why Bell used to be under the table during update, handing jokes up.

Oh, my gosh. Couldn't go to the bathroom. But I was always a job. giant fan Gilbert and followed your career very closely always and I remember when you were on Saturday Night Live and like being fascinated by the new cast and then

Alan Thick show. Oh yeah. Comes up a lot on the show. Oh my gosh, you with Alan Thick. That was an incredible interview with Alan Thick. He was riotously funny. He was. He was giving us the Bum's rush. He had to go. So I think it was over 40 minutes. He's genuinely really, really funny.

And I was very excited about that show. Right when I went to college, I was 85, right? Oh, yes. I used to watch that. No, no, my show, my son... Thick of the night. Think of the night.

Yeah, that would be about 85. Belser was on there with him. Yeah. So what went wrong with that show? Everything. He talked about it like he wasn't good, but yet he's so funny talking about it not being good. You think, well, why weren't you like that on the show? He was very funny on the podcast, but boy, everything that could be wrong with a TV show was wrong with Dick of the night.

He was self-deprecating on the podcast. Maybe he should have been a little bit more, done a little more of that. It reminded me of an interview I just watched with George Bush. And now that he's not the president, he's kind of funny and cool. Like he dropped all the effort to present himself. And he's actually really engaging to listen to in a way that he wasn't. I always thought that with Bob Dole. When he was running for president, he was the mean old man down the street.

Then when he wasn't running, when he lost the election, he was popping up on sitcoms and Saturday Night Live and he said hey I like this guy. Obama is the only one who's funny now. Well, Clinton did the whole sacking. So was it Obama who wanted a see or dick. And was not, I can guarantee you. He's going to keep coming back to it. It's now going to be a runner.

Speaking of East Side Comedy Club, we'll come back a little back to Train Rec later, but East Side Comedy Club was your mom got a job there, and that was your entree a little bit into the world of Santa? Because you were a comedy buff as a kid. You were an obsessive. Yeah, my parents got separated, and my parents owned this restaurant on Long Island called Raisins Restaurant and Cyanositor, Woodbury,

and Rick Messina, the manager of Tim Allen and Drew Carey, he was the bartender. And then when my parents got separated, he ran the East Side Comedy Club and the East End Comedy Club in Southampton, and my mom got a job as the hostess one summer, which I always think is weird because what do you pay the hostess to seat people in a comedy club?

This was an adult woman. What could he have paid her? And my family, you know, for a while, we were very upper middle class. And now I think my mom took that job just to amuse me because I loved comedy because he could not have given her more than 50 bucks or 75 bucks to do that. I remember the East Side Comedy Club. Yeah, East Side was great. I mean, then I became a dishwasher there. And Jerry Cooney used to come in.

It was a very like, you could tell everyone in the club was coked out of their minds. And I'm like 16, 15 years old. Long Island celebrities. Yeah, all the Long Island celebrities were just completely out of their minds. And it was Bob Nelson and Rob Bartlett and Jim Myers. And then Eddie Murphy still was coming in at 21 at that time. Eddie Murphy, was he still in a comedy team? No, that was after he did the identical triplets.

Yes. It was Bob Nelson. But Bob Nelson used to tear down the house of that place. And he did a show once a week, and he did a bit where he would turn on the radio, and he would do improvs based on the song on the radio. And it was pretty magnificent as a kid to watch him do that. But I wanted to watch comedians, and I was a dishwasher, and then I realized, oh, I can't see the show.

I'm in the kitchen. So I switched and became a bus boy just so I could watch the show. and then all the money I made, I had to spend on the cab to get home. But I just wanted to be there, so I didn't care. So you basically broke even. I broke even. Yes.

Did they at least let you eat people's leftovers? Exactly. And so that's when I realized, oh, it would be great to talk to them. I wanted to talk to them. And I hated that I couldn't talk to them. So there was a radio station of my high school. And I said,

show where I interview comedians, and this is before podcasting or the internet, and I interviewed 45 comics in 1983, 84, and it was all before people made it, so it was Leno and Seinfeld and Riser and... You're like the young Cameron Crow and say anything, not insane anything, excuse me, and almost famous, going around the tape recorder. And I wanted to talk to all of them. I talked to almost all the original Saturday Night Live Writers and John Candy and... Lorenzo Music.

I interviewed Lorenzo Music. Remember him? Carlton the Dorman. Yes. And with what's her name, Rhoda? That's right. I just was talking to this woman the other day, and she said my dad was Lorenzo Music. And, yeah, I mean, not many people were hunting down Grito Sarducci in those days.

But there were no other comedy nerds. There was no one at the school who even knew what I was talking about. There was so little interest in comedy, even though Saturday Night Live was popular, there was no one at school who thought that was a cool thing to do. I was just this weird kid. taking three-hour train rides to meet Al Yankovic. And some of those interviews from the 80s are in the book. So the book, I always talked about putting them out.

I didn't know if they were that interesting. And then I said, well, maybe if I take some of the old interviews and then combine them with just times I've been interviewed or I've been on panels and then did just a few new ones. And then I started enjoying doing the new ones. So I did like Louis and Stephen Colbert and John Stewart and Lena Dunn. and I put it together

and the book has just sold like crazy I think because it's not just about comedy all these people talk about how they live their lives and what their journey has been like so it's an oddly emotional book and it's the book I wish existed when I was 15 because there weren't any good

comedy books back in the day there was like that book Comic Lives and that was about it there was Lenny Bruce's the biography ladies gentleman Lenny Bruce Why was that book that was out that guy wrote The Larry Wilde book?

Yes. Oh, Larry Wilde. That shows how few books. There were like three books. There weren't even how-to comedy writing books. There was nothing. And so that's why I interviewed comedians. And back then, you know, Seinfeld, maybe he was 27 years old.

No one wanted to talk to them. So it wasn't hard to get to them because they weren't doing any interviews because they were just clubed comics for the most part. It's interesting in the book, too, because it's like a time capsule. You're interviewing Shandling in 84. And he's saying things like, I think I'm going to do a. sitcom and play myself. Yeah, and Seinfeld too. And Lennox's talking about how he's not that interested in acting.

Right, right, right. And the funny thing is that people say, you know, can you put out the audio of them? But the audio is just me with my voice having not cracked and a huge Long Island accent. So how do you want a joke? No, I don't want to touch your penis. Why do you want me to let you see my penis? Now, but you do say in the book that Seinfeld said to you, Hey, can I see you, Dick?

That's coming. And Jay Leno said to you, tell why he read somewhere that you have a dick, can you show it to me? No, wait, Judd doesn't Leno himself, because you've done Leno on television. Am I right? Yes. I've done Leno a few times on the critic. I did let me. Yeah, the critic.

Can we hear some? We'll put you on the spot. You know, I separate the money. I don't spend the money from the tonight show. I just spend the road money. And Lennel was always the nicest to me. I interviewed him when I was 16. I think I interviewed him twice. And then when I started making movies and doing TV, he would have me on the Tonight Show all the time,

even when I wasn't doing stand-up. And it was just so nice to me in Leslie, the entire run. could not have been greater to us. And I think it's, you know, that's what's really fun. I met him when I was a kid. And I did the Tonight Show once with him and Robin Williams. And it was just an amazing thing. And tonight, I'm doing stand-up on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

And that's the first time I've done stand-up on the Tonight Show. Wow. So I'm 47, and I finally got there. You finally made the Tonight Show. Exactly. It's funny. Why did... It always struck me as odd

how many people make Jay Leno into a big villain. I don't get that at all. I think it's because I worked at the Larry Sanders show. And what happened when we were doing the show was everything about Johnny getting pushed out back then and all the politics of who had replaced Johnny, Dave or Jay, and then all the politics of who was going to take the 1230 slot. And Gary was offered 1230 slots.

And so we always... knew that no matter how anyone behaved behind the scenes, all their reps, we're trying to get them these jobs. And if you want Johnny's job, on some level, you're signaling maybe Johnny should leave now. Like everyone is trying to move

into the better position. So it always felt like, I don't know, Jay probably wants his job. And if he gets pushed out, he's not thrilled. And if he can get back in, he probably would like to, and that anyone who acts like it's a gentleman's game is either incorrect

or not thinking it through, because it's not a gentleman's game. It is a bloodbath, and that is why the Larry Sanders show was so interesting. And even right now, I'm sure it's a bloodbath for who's going to follow this guy and follow that guy. And even though everyone loves each other,

and I think now all the talk show hosts really do respect each other, it's a war to survive. And I think that's fine. And it doesn't seem that fair that Leno somehow is cast as a villain. And I think he's an interesting player and his choices are fascinating. But in their own way, everyone is making a move.

Yeah, it was always made like Leno was pushing the other people out. Yeah. Well, the book The Late Show tells the story of Jay hiding in the closet. Just the famous story. We've all hit in the closet at some point. I remember me and Ben Siller, we pitched a movie to the Rolling Stones.

They wanted to do a concert film that had comedy in between the songs. So I'm one of my concerts. And after the pitch, we left the room, and then Ben stayed with his ear to the door, wanting to listen to the debate. And I kept singing to Ben, like, we're going to get murdered by Keith Richards if he gets up to take a piss right now. So we've all hidden closets. And there's that story that's been around for a while that Jerry Lewis would forget his attache case.

I totally believe that. That's the best book ever. King of Comedy about Jerry Lewis is almost as good as Don Felder from the Eagles. That's a great one. It's so easy to do that with an iPhone, you could just press record. Everyone must be terrified.

Even if you meet the president, you could have press record. on your phone. Oh, yeah. You can't really say anything anywhere without getting in trouble. It's because, yeah, they said that Jerry Lewis would hide a tape recorder in the attache case. If this was the old days, I would have had the person

asking to see my dick and balls on audio. You beat me too. Let's talk a little bit about Gary, since you brought up to Larry Sanders' show. And he's in addition to a friend, he's also a mentor of sorts. Of course. No, he's the the mentor. I met Gary

when I was really young. I was doing stand-up and early on I thought, oh, you can make money and pay your rent if you sell jokes to other people. And no one really wanted to do that. Everybody wants it to be a star. So like Gilbert, you wouldn't have written jokes for money for somebody

else, but I thought, you know, I'm not even that good yet. So if I could make 300 bucks a week selling jokes to George Wallace and Jeff Dunham and Peanut, I'm going to do it. Jeff Dunham and Peanut. And so I was I was writing jokes for different people,

and I started writing jokes for Tom Arnold, and at one point I wrote Rosanne Barr's act with her, which was really me typing while she came up with amazing jokes. But anyway, Gary Shandling called and asked if I would write the Grammys for him, right when the first Gulf War started. So those war starts, I'm in the Dallas Improv with Kevin Rooney. Kevin Rooney. I get a call, the great Kevin Rooney.

who was also a big mentor to me when I was doing stand-up. He really took the time to help me and give me advice. I like Kevin. He's a funny guy. And so I stayed up all night writing Gary jokes for the Grammys. I must have written 50, 60, 100 jokes in a night. And I sent him to Gary because I wanted to be irreplaceable. I wanted him to say, oh, I have to have this guy.

And Gary didn't know anything about music. I mean, it was comical. He was about the host of Grammys. He knew nothing. One of the jokes I was. I wrote him was a lot of people asked why I'm hosting the Grammys. Like, what do I have to do with music? Well, my girlfriend used to do the guy in Uriah Heep.

And so then Gary took all my jokes and used almost none of the punchlines, but he used the setups. Interesting. And then he would write a way better joke every single time. And then he let me come to New York, and I was just a kid. And then I wrote the Grammys for him again. And then when we did the Ben Stiller show, he would. was one of the guest stars on the pilot. Him and Roseanne and Tom did sketches in the pilot.

I always thought that's why our show got picked up because we had these great guest stars. And when we got canceled, he asked me to write for the Larry Sanders show. And he taught you a couple of things about writing, you say in the book. Everything about writing. People forget he was a writer, by the way, that he, you know, Gil, that he wrote Sanford and Sunday. Welcome back, Carter.

No, he's the best. And if you can imagine sitting in a room of Gary while he's going through a school, saying what's wrong with it, every lesson you would ever want to learn about storytelling would happen if you paid attention to why he liked or didn't like a script or a joke in a script. And I just paid very close attention. What do you remember in particular, like stuff that he taught you as far as just making a cohesive joke? Well, I remember he was dating Linda Doucette, who was on the show.

And then they were writing an episode about her getting asked to be in Playboy. That You Hefner was on the Larry Sand Show and he asked Hank's assistant to be in Playboy. And then as a result of that, you Hefner asked Gary's girlfriend to be in Playboy while Gary was dating her. So like the show as it was being written and happened started happening in life. Like the blurred realities would happen all the time. time. Or Dana Carvey did a sketch that was kind of mean-spirited where he did an impression of Gary. And he did this really like whiny Gary character on Saturday Night Live.

And he called Gary and was apologizing it. And Gary said, you know what? Don't worry about it. Let's just do it on the show. And then Gary wrote or had written by the staff this hilarious episode about Dana Carvey guest hosting and doing this mocking impression of Gary, of Larry. And that's one thing I learned is the closer you get to the truth

the better the comedy is and Gary was always coming up with the great original stories but when things would happen in the office or problems with the actors or problems with anybody it would weave into the show and I think after the show ended I did freaks of geeks

and it made me realize oh all these little weird things that happened to us are really interesting and I learned that from watching Gary take moments from his life and finding a way to turn that into fiction. The more personal, the more universal. Is that what you say? Yeah, absolutely. Well, you always said it's about getting to the truth in the core of people. And there was a psychic once who was on the show. And I asked her to come to the office so we could

write an episode about what happens when a psychic goes on the Larry Sanders show. And so how we wrote it is we had her come to the office and talk to us. And based on how we freaked out, that would become the root of a story about how everyone at the show freaks out. And that's how he approached a lot of the show. I think Larry David used to tell his writers on Seinfeld, just keep a diary of stuff that happens to you during the day. Sure.

Yeah, absolutely. But Gary was so funny. I mean, when you would sit with him and he would just sit with a pen punching it up, you've just never seen anything like it. It really was stunning. The runs he would go on just in his house on the weekends, fixing scenes. And, you know, a scene that might be the funniest scene ever on the show, you watch Gary rewrite in like 50 seconds, where it just came to him. And he's the best. We both love him. We wish he was working more. We wish he was doing more stuff.

He comes and does stand up. I do these shows at Largo all the time, and he comes and does stand up. And he's as funny as ever. Now, you, I think there's a quote from you that you said, your way of dealing with life is by not dealing with it. or that was your way until you had kids. Well, that's true. I mean, my parents weren't religious and they didn't believe in God, but they never talked about it, ever. They never mentioned spirituality.

Once I asked to get bar mitzvah, and they said, you just want the money. That was it. But it was true, right? So I didn't go to Hebrew school. Right. You know, I do a lot of charity work, and I always say,

my parents never discussed charity. the concept that you would want to give to other people and take care of other people was never mentioned in our home. All they ever said was, no one said life was fair. There was a lot of like, we're getting fucked. Why would we help anybody else talk? And so, you know, that stuck with me. And I think, you know, I'm always like digging out of that spiritual black hole

when your family gives you nothing. I wish they hypnotize me into believing something at this point. I'm trying to like... Didn't your dad leave a book about divorce on the coffee table? That was just crazy story where my parents got divorced and it was very toxic. And then one day I saw a book in the house and it was called Growing Up Divorce.

And I read it. It was all about the power dynamics between the husband and his wife and the children and how everyone feels in an ugly divorce. And I never talked to my dad about it. And then like two years ago or three years ago, I mentioned it to him. He's like, oh yeah, I left that out for you.

I hope you'd read it I'm like yeah but you never asked me if I read it so you left it out you didn't follow up and luckily I read it but you didn't know that I read it I mean maybe I just tossed it back on the coffee table he wouldn't even go that far to say read this oh absolutely or to go hey remember a month ago

I left out do you want to talk about your emotions I mean I didn't go to a therapist or like nobody helped me through it But that became, oddly, the fuel for me wanting to work. That's why I interviewed the comedians. Well, the dedication in your book is, and from mom and dad, your support, and the mental health issues you gave me, made all of this possible. Exactly. Because I was scared to get a job, and I thought, I'm going to start early.

If I try to be a comedian starting at 14 or 15, if it takes me 10 years, I'm 25. And I used to think that all the time. Like, it's going to take a while. I'm just going to start early. But that was just a panic at being born. broke. Well, he started super early. I mean, he's... Did you? 15. First time I got up on the stage, I was 15. At which

club? See, now this is weird. I thought it was the bitter end. My sister says it was somewhere else. My father's place. Yes. Our father's place in Roslyn. Oh, jeez. I love it. And how soon were you in the city? Oh, God.

Well, I lived in Brooklyn. Yeah. And, you know, my sister had found out that there was some club. that you could just write your name down and go on. And so, yeah, just... So like 16, 17, were you at Catch Rising Star working? Yeah, no, I first started with all the other places.

Like the improv. These shitty little places. Pips. Oh, yeah. Pips, Hips and Ships. I had my first job. One of my first jobs was at Pips. And I was going to be the opening act,

an emce of a show where, and to me, these were big stars. This was like being with Bob Hope and Jack Benny. Lenny Schultz.

Yeah, no, no, I wish. It was Carl Waxman. Oh, wow, yeah. And Adam Keefe. I don't know, Adam Keefe. He was most famous for, he was an impressionist.

And the highest he ever got was in some, I don't know, potato chip commercial where he was doing a James Cagney imitation. Both of those names are new on me. So what year were you working? What years was that? Yeah. Oh, God. I think it was like the, you know, like,

it was maybe still 69 when I just got up on a stage. And when did people think you were funny? Never. Last week. But boy, I remember, I remember catch, I, I passed the audition there or when they opened the place. Yeah. And they had the stage on the other side of the room. Yeah.

And I remember going to the improv every night when Times Square was a fucking shit house. Oh, it was terrifying back in. Oh, sure. I remember people chasing me down at 8th Avenue. Like, it was really a terrifying thing. Yeah, I mean, I would walk from there. to 6th and 42nd to get on their lovely subway back then. The Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, producer of the month for August is Kate Jones. Thank you, Kate.

Be just like Kate and get rewarded for supporting our podcast. head over to Patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried for a small amount each month you can get some

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on Twitter I will even read something that you send me and it'll sound just like this. Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. We thank you for your generosity. So were you there when Pryor was working out a lot in those days? No. Not prior. I remember.

Robert Klein was he still in the clubs or already out of the club? Klein would like maybe pop in. Yeah. But the people who I'd see pop into rarely, but I remember Gabe Kaplan before he was famous. Was he funny? Like honestly, because I've never seen his act. But yet he was gigantic. So was he a killer in the clubs?

Well, I remember he would go up on stage and he'd talk about being in school and there was a guy named Horshack. Yeah, that all came out of his act. The Swethock stuff. And that boy, did that be a goldmine for him. Horshack did not like being called Horshack. Yes. Because I did a sketch with him on a Tom Arnold special and it was a sensitive area. He didn't.

You know, there are certain people they own that stuff and they just have fun with it and other people really. Do not dig you calling them Horschach, and he was of that school. I heard Jimmy Walker gets really angry if you ask him to say dynamite. Because now it's been like 40 years, and you've got to be like, I cannot believe I'm still being asked to do it. I think about that sometimes. Like we did the Ben Stiller Show in 1992, and people don't really ask about it. But if they asked about it every day, I could see how you'd get irritated at some point.

So take us back since we're talking about stand-up. We were talking about your mom being hostess at Eastside, and now you transition from dishwasher to Busboy. How do you get on stage for the first time? Well, after doing all the interviews, right as senior year of high school ended, I started trying to do the open mic nights, and I would go on at governors, and John Mulrooney would host. I remember John.

And his whole thing was very violent crowdwork. I mean, he would really rile them up and attack them, So he would get the ground to feel like they could insult him and then he would just decimate them, which was the worst environment to then go on next. It was a terrible environment, but ultimately, okay. And so I did that, and then I got accepted to go to USC film school, and I started booking shows around L.A. as a way to get stage time.

And Sammy Shore opened a club in Marina del Rey. Sammy's by the shore, which is in the back of this. Casola's Fish House, Father of Pauli. And he asked me to book the shows there. And so it was like on the weekends or Thursday through Sunday. And I would just host every show. And that's how I got stage time. It was from Sammy, who was really good to me.

I remember opening night, Orson Bean came in. Oh, wow. And it was hysterical. And everyone would go into that club. It was just the back of a fish house, but kind of set up decently. And then I got a job at Comic Relief. when it first started. So I had heard,

oh, they're going to do the live aid for comedians. And I was in college, and I called him up. And I said, I will do anything. You called Smootah? I called, does anybody would answer the phone? And then four months later, they called me and said, yes, we need help. And so I was there at the first four or five comic reliefs.

I would just work in the office. And my job was to get a poster signed by everyone in the show. actually like 50 posters and I'd have to I had an excuse to walk up to everybody you know Dick Van Dyke and Carl Reiner and Peevi Herman was at the first one and Harold Ramis and Jerry Lewis and I always remember I was following Jerry Lewis

to get him to sign the posters and there was like 20 camera people that wanted a picture with him and he was walking to the area to take pictures and one camera guy just wiped out really painfully hard and Jerry Lewis looks at him and goes you're supposed to fall, pause, then get up. You got to wait for the laugh.

But so I would produce local comic relief benefits. I would call clubs around the country and ask them to donate a Monday night to comic relief. But for about four years while I was trying to be a comedian, I had this job that paid me a few hundred bucks a week to help raise money for the homeless. and then at some point I got in at the improv in L.A. and started working there. Now, when you wrote you,

when you interviewed all these comics, was there, did you find a link between all the comedians that made them similar? Well, I just, you know, I was about comedians the way people were about baseball. I just was a fan of certain people. So I really would track you or track Seinfeld.

And Michael Keaton, I remember always being aware. Like, I love this Michael Keaton guy. And Andy Kaufman, oh, my God, he's on taxi. And I was from Long Island, so I felt connected to everyone because so many people were from New York and Long Island. And I was like, I'm kind of like these guys. Like, I should be able to do this. They're all from Massapequa or medieval.

So many comments from Long Island. Yeah. So, but people were very nice and I appreciated it. And I think that's one thing I took from the. interviews. I interviewed Martin Short in 1984 and he was so nice to me that I remember thinking, oh, this is how you behave as a human

being. Like this, like it was like a model. I would just think no one's ever been that cool to me. There's no reason why he should be. I'm just this like idiot kid with an enormous tape recorder from the A.V. Squad. Ramos too, right? Yeah, Ramis was so nice. And Ramos, I knew, wrote jokes for comics.

He used to write for Rodney. And he wrote jokes for Playboy magazine. And slowly he performed at Second City. and then wrote movies and then directed movies, and I thought, oh, that seems like the career path. So I did learn major lessons from talking to these people. I remember Michael O'Donniu I interviewed from Saturday Night Live. And he just came back from running Saturday Night Live at about in 83,

and he had just left, and he was mad because he wanted to run the show into the ground. He wanted it to go down like a burning Viking ship. And he got in trouble and ultimately fired for writing a script about Fred Silverman. And it was the last days of Fred Silverman, the head of NBC. So he had, in the sketch, Fred Silverman dressed as Hitler, trying to think of shows that would save his job. And all the shows were like a game show called Look Up Her Dress. And we asked her a question. and if she gets it wrong, we look up her dress.

And he wrote it, and it was 40 pages, and they didn't even shoot it, and he got fired just for writing it. And so that was a really funny... The interview is in the book. It's a fun one. Yeah, that's a great thing. When he came back, and the truth to the... I'd heard that he wanted to be called Reich Marshall.

That's what he wanted his title to be, when he came back. There was what I didn't use, which was Harry Shearer right when he left Saturday Night Live. I did an interview with him, like, right when he left. And it was a great, angry interview about how he felt about it. And so I tried to take as many lessons as I could from it. And the response to the book has been like how I felt when I was 15. People are just tweeting me and just saying like, oh, this is life-changing. So that's what I like about the book.

It's also how to be a nice person because I think these are all people that we look up to just for how they live. Well, that's the most inspirational part of the book. I mean, there are a couple of recurring motifs. One is how many people say they went into comedy to get laid. Yes. Comes up a lot. I did not. I never even thought about that.

That was a big mistake on my part. I quickly learned my lesson. I've always wanted to ask you that. I mean, you're obviously born to this and a born performing your way, but that was never even a small motivation for you. I had heard that I've been hearing for years that there are certain cities you go to where comedians. where comedians are rock stars. And every girl wants to fuck you. And I'm still waiting to find that city.

Jim Carrey, back in the early 90s, used to say to me, you always love any city in America where you got laid. You know, it doesn't matter if it's a good city or a bad city. You're like, Des Moines, Iowa, that is an amazing town. That's funny. But the psychology comes up a lot in the book of these guys. And the Ramos chapter is fascinating. because he was a Buddhist and you've dabbled a little bit yourself,

and he's talking about his life philosophy, which I loved. Life is ridiculous, so why not be a good guy? Yes, and that was a big thing for me to hear from Harold. That interview is, I did interview him when I was 16, but the one in the book I interviewed him at the Austin Film Festival one year. And he was a very rabbinical type of guy. He liked to talk about life. He was very, very smart.

And, yeah, he had a simple philosophy. I don't think he believed in God. And he just thought, all right, well, if God doesn't exist, I can just be like an asshole. Or I can just be a nice guy. I guess I'd rather be a nice guy. And that's about it. And then he saw life in those simple terms. Like, what can I do?

That would be positive. And when we did year one with him, I mean, everyone was there just to listen to him. because he was the guy that would tell you the great Belushi story and would tell you the great Bill Murray story every day. And so it was just a gift to sit at dinner with him. And I like that one. The James Brooks interviews, I think, are really great. And the Mike Nichols interview and Larry Gelbart.

I like a lot of the legends. You know, I just remember a Michael O'Donohue story after my season, which failed miserably. Yeah, you guys just crossed paths because he came in. And Piscopo was still there, Piscopo and Eddie. I failed, my season failed miserably. And so then they brought in Michael O'Donohue back to beat the new cast into shape. And I heard his big thing was he brought in a bunch of spray paint cans and told them to do graffiti all over the office because we're rebels.

And I thought, oh yeah, this is going to help. It's in Judd's book. He also famously told off every cast member. Just going to dress them down as... I think there was a section in the interview I didn't use where he listed everyone in the cast and why he thought they were terrible. And it was so mean I didn't even put it in the book.

But he went through, for me, a child and listed why he hated everybody on the show. But he was also very sweet to me. And he wrote Scrooge. And he did right, Scrooge. But one thing we have in common is, When I was a kid, I was obsessed with writing celebrities and getting autographs. And so I would sit in my room, and there would be these books you can get in LA of just the address for ABC or whatever.

And I would just every night write like a dozen letters just to see who would respond. And I remember I got Paul Lynn's autograph. Oh, wow. And then I sent him another letter just to see if he would send me another one. Well, a young boy writing to him. And then every time I would get the autograph, I would send another letter, and I would always get, so I have like tons of Paul Lynch autographs. And I remember I wrote Andy Kaufman when I was a kid, and he sent an autograph picture, like, you know, and clearly he wrote it in his own hand. You know, too, Judd, thank you very much, Andy Kaufman.

And then on the back of the 8 by 10, he wrote a letter. Nobody did that ever. Like he already gave me the autograph, on the back he just wrote. So you're, Judd. Thank you, sir. It was so much for the letter. I really appreciate you liking me from your friend, Andy Kaufman. And it was the sweetest thing that anybody ever did that whole time. He signed both sides of the photo. Yeah, because I showed you in my house. I wrote a get-well card to Lonchini Jr. And I got a wolfman picture back with his name. How old were you when you did that? Oh, my God. I was a kid. The only fan letter you ever sent? Yeah, well, it was that one.

I was always a big luncheon. And I got it in Famous Monsters of Film Line. Yeah. They said he was sick. And then I got an address on Jimmy Durante when he was sick. And then he sent you an autograph back. Yes. Oh, that was the best.

I mean, I had everybody. And sometimes they'd be fake, you know, and you could tell, like it was like an auto pen or something. Steve Martin had a great autograph that he used to send, which is he had a letter. And it would have like blank. blank spaces where the whole thing would be typed but every once in a while a word would be filled in to make it seem personal

so they're like typed dear and then there would be like a line and then someone's handwriting it said Judd and it was like thank you so much for being such a fan I really need more fans like you in than someone would write in Woodbury and it's a PS

remember that weekend we spent in Rio looking at the girls Didn't he famously used to give out a card that says congratulations, you've had an encounter with Steve Martin? No, that's a genius thing to do. Yeah, he said there's no need for a photo or autograph. You've just met. I had that happen.

I met Mel Blank at the Magic Castle. Oh, wow. And I was a little kid. And he just had like the pre-written autograph photo in his pocket. He had a stack with him. And Sandy Duncan was that. there that day too. I was like 10 years old. Yeah, I remember walking up

to Phil Silvers at a screening of 1941. Yeah, that was always the most fun. You still have them? You keep them? I am just a total hoarder. I have every little scrap of paper. Every autograph. Oh, yeah. Every Joyce DeWitt autograph is carefully counted.

She was prominently featured in Gilbert's Act. Oh, yeah. I just remember a Jimmy Durante's story, a friend of mine in Jimmy Durante's later years he became a total recluse and no one knew where he was

no one ever saw him and my friend found out where he lived and knocked on his door and he goes who is it and he goes I'd like to speak to Jimmy Durante

and from the other side of the door he is he ain't home I had a funny one like that where I was with a friend and we were driving like motorcycles up on Mulholland in like 1985 or 86 and we knew that's where Nicholson and Marlon Brando lives

so we just stopped there because there's a view of the valley and then a little crappy car pulled up to the gate and you hear a girl go hey Jack I'm here and then through the box you hear Nicholson's voice go, you can't come in unless you take your pants off. And she's like, come on, Jack, open the gate.

And then he finally opened the gate. And we thought, what were the chances that we would hear something like that? Well, and speaking of autographs, since we're talking about Steve Martin, tell the Steve Martin story from the book when you found out where he lived, when you were a kid.

Because it's a good story. I mean, I was 12 years old, and I knew where he lived, so I'd visit my grandmother, I would always say let's pass by Steve Martin's house. He had this incredible white block house that apparently... No windows, right? No windows, but on the inside, I guess it was all lights,

but from the street it just looked like a block of white. And so we're driving by one day, and he's outside of his house. So I grab a pen and a piece of paper, and I run out, and I said, hey, Mr. Martin, can I have your autograph? And he said, no, I'm sorry, I can't sign autographs at my house, which is a completely reasonable request. Like, if someone walked up to my house, I would call the cops at this point. Then I'd be terrified that everyone was going to come.

I totally get it. But at the time, I didn't get it at all. So I said, well, can you sign it in the street? And he said, no, I'm sorry. I'm like, I won't tell anyone where you live. He's like, no, I really can't because then a lot of people will come over. All very reasonable requests. And I was so upset.

And I went home and I grabbed the legal pad. And I wrote him this really long diatribe. Dear Mr. Martin, you are the funniest man in the world, but you treat your fans like crap. You wouldn't live in that house if I didn't buy your records and your tapes and your book. And if you do not send me an apology,

I'm going to send your address to Homes of the Stars and you're going to have tour buses passing by 24 hours a day. And then I put it in his mailbox just to be extra stalkery. Like, I know where you live. I don't even need a stamp. And then I didn't think about it.

But I really was kind of devastating because I was so little that I didn't understand. and about three or four months later I get something in the mail from Steve Martin and I open it up and it's a book of cruel shoes this great humor book he wrote at the time and it said to Judd I'm sorry

I didn't realize I was speaking to the Judd Apatow and he underlined the and that was 35 years ago and I always say now that I think the impact of it was that I thought, I must have made him laugh with that crazy letter because he didn't say, screw that guy, because I was trying to be funny.

And I thought, oh, my God, I must have made him laugh. And I think it gave me some confidence to be in comedy because the guy that I loved more than anybody by far thought it was worth the time to send me this thing. And then he's so funny about it because it's the most irritating story. Everyone always asked me about it. And so I always tell it, but I feel bad.

And I had a meeting with him once, and someone made me tell the story. And then afterwards, they said, Steve, do you remember it that way? And he says, actually, in my memory, I knocked on Judd's door. And then we did a photo shoot for Vanity Fair where I'm, he has a tour bus outside of my house. And I'm in a bathroom complaining. And so that was one of the first. great moments ever was getting to take the photo with him because he's still the greatest of all

time. You memorized those albums didn't you? I mean beyond memorization they were just in my neurons we used to go to South Carolina or North Carolina on vacation. It was a 14 hour drive and we would just run let's get small and a wild and a crazy guy the entire time. I didn't even know why it was funny I just knew my whole family would laugh really

hard at every single line in those records and then the jerk came out and we were like and now he's made the best movie of all time, which completely holds up. Yeah, I find it interesting in the book. You ask him about The Jerk, a couple of things is one is he agrees that it holds up, but he can't watch it.

I understand that. It's very hard to watch anything you do. I mean, it is, I get that. There's a lot of things of mine that I won't seek out to watch. But also his book, Born Standing Up, is probably the best book ever written about comedy. It really is, it really captures all of it,

and it's a great story, and beautifully written. And he was nice enough to do an interview for the book. I don't know if I handled that interview well because I was just so excited and nervous that I don't know if I got to everything I wanted to get to, but he was very, very nice to me, and I think

it's a great interview. What goes through your mind when you watch one of your movies? After the fact? Yeah. You know, sometimes I watch it and I really laugh and other times I watch and go, was I crazy? Why did I think anyone would understand what I'm

talking about here because every movie happens in that moment of your life. You're trying to express something that you're feeling right then, and then 10 years later, you don't feel that way anymore. So, you know, when we did funny people, I was writing it when my mom had cancer, and I was noticing that when she thought she was going to die, she seemed much happier than when the doctors would say, oh, the new medication is working, and then she'd get very neurotic and have all these worries about life again. But when she thought life was about to end, she was super loose and funny

and just seemed at peace in a way she never was in life. So I started writing about that. And then she died before we shot the movie. So I was very traumatized while we were making the movie and just expressing all those emotions. So then it becomes hard to watch later because it's just so personal to a specific feeling that I had at the time. You remember where you were

and it brings back, every movie has to do that to you. It has to bring back that time of your life. There's something about movies that I know like when you watch a movie you go, oh God, when I was doing that scene, I was in a really lousy mood. Yes. Yeah. Sure, there's certain scenes that are

the funniest scene in the movie and it was the worst day. Yeah. And you didn't even think you had it or you just shot it and it just seemed like, oh, this is going to be terrible. And then other, there's other things you remember. Oh, shooting that was the most fun ever. Like shooting the drunk driving sequence So my wife, Leslie, we shot it over three or four days.

We just laughed every second. Everything she was doing was killing us. Everything Steve Carell was doing, being terrified of her as the drunk driver, seems so funny. But then other days, you just barely get through it. You know, it's funny what you were saying about your mother, because I remember hearing that when people finally decide they're going to commit suicide, they're usually at their calmest and happiest.

Yeah. Like they've made a decision. Sure, yeah. I think there's something to it. And I always wonder, I mean, here's the thing. You make a movie, you never can watch it and know how other people feel when they watch it because you've thought about it so much.

And so all the ideas in a movie like funny people, which are so important to me, I'll never know unless people tell me if it affected them. even the ideas about, you know, a comedian who was so obsessed with succeeding that he really never developed the ability to have normal friendships and normal relationships, which, you know, was based on a lot of people that we all know who you see just struggle. We thought about Rodney a lot. Oh, yeah. Because we all loved Rodney so much, but Rodney would go on stage at like two in the morning in a bathrobe and he'd say to the crowd, you know, sometimes life makes perfect sense. And then you come.

and it was so dark and the crowd was like, why isn't he doing the normal jokes? And I thought that was an interesting thing to explore a young comedian dealing with this guy and his life isn't working out because there's very few movies about comedy

that are any good and so I thought, oh, it'd be nice to try to capture that. It's hard to think of any. There was that the one that missed, got everything wrong was the Tom Hanks

one. A punchline. But you know what's funny, everyone was so mad because in that movie all the comedians had lockers. Right? And it drove everyone crazy. Like, we don't get a locker. So we go to the Comedy Magic

Club in Hermosa Beach, which is one of the main clubs I always worked out, a great comedy club in California, to scout it to shoot there. And when we get there, we see there's a whole wall of lockers. What about something like this is 40? I mean, is

that hard for you to watch for another reason because there's so much personal stuff in there? Well, you know, some of that stuff is just a time capsule to me. So my daughter's 17 now, my other daughter's 12. So the fact that they're in all these movies from the time they're very little, I'm so happy that they

exist and I can see how they talked and how they behaved. So in a lot of ways, it's just very expensive home movies. Right, I was just going to say. Sometimes on the DVDs, I'll take all the raw footage and all the outtakes and I'll make like a 10-minute montage of my kids. And I know

no one on earth wants to see it but now it's digitally protected somehow and when I'm older I can watch those things and I really like working with them because Leslie and my kids are really funny and they're very funny in the movie for anybody that hasn't seen this is for

which we met at the view and I was telling you and Leslie how natural I thought they both were yeah they're really great and Maud was on girls this year and Iris is on this show love that we're doing for Netflix and so hopefully I don't see if they want to do it or don't want to it, but they're really fun to do it with.

Those are actually easy times. Now, if you'll tell this story, when I first brought you into the apartment, I was showing you some life masks. Yes. I have of, you know, Lonchaney, Baylor-O-Gos. Oh, I can't tell this story. I know I can't tell the story.

That one gets me in trouble. Well, then, can you at least tell me who has to see your dick. There's got to be a given tape. I think I got it figured out. Do you? Yeah, but I'm going to... I'll say, no matter what you say, I'm going to say,

that's not him, but say it again, and I'll... Was there an animated series based on his life? No. Who's that? No. Well, that's... I know exactly.

You know where I'm going? He didn't succeed to that level. Okay. Never mind. because I don't want to incriminate anybody unfairly If you didn't succeed to that level You should have at least shown him you'd take You know

He had at least that Yes Now we were talking before that in your book You were talking to Albert Brooks And he had a great Jack Benny's story He did I think you I could read it if you want me to

Because I can't remember it when they were on the Tonight Show together. I don't know if you've heard this. Someone showed me these letters that Jack Benny wrote with this famous producer, and they would, like, kind of trade jokes back and forth. And in this letter, they were talking about new shows and how television was changing. And Jack Benny wrote it in his letter,

yeah, I love this new show, My Mother the Cunt. But it's wild that it was typed and signed Jack Benny, because all those guys were so clean but privately filthy. And I laugh, sorry. I'll read it. It's just a little bit about how Albert Brooks was on the tonight show with Benny, and it's actually kind of a sweet story. Let me see.

He says, Albert Brooks is talking about how he did this bit. He took a live frog, and I put it through all these elephant tricks. and every time he did a trick I threw a peanut out of him. And the last trick I said, I call this the trick, Find the Nut Boy. I gave the peanut to somebody on stage. I walked over and gave it to Doc Severinson. The elephant will find the peanut.

I took this frog. I threw this huge black cloth over him, the one I said I used to blindfold the elephant, and this black rag started hopping all over the place so it eventually hopped over to Doc Severinson. It actually found him. I don't know what the hell the frog was going to do. So after the bit, I sit down at the panel,

and Jack Benny was on. It was always that last two minutes where Johnny was asking people, thank you for coming, what do you have coming up? And during the last commercial, Jack Benny leaned over to Johnny Carson and said,

when we get back, ask me where I'm going to be, will you? So they came back, Johnny said, I want to thank Albert. Jack, where are you going to be performing? And Jack Benny said, never mind about me. This is the funniest kid I've ever seen.

And it was this profound thing, like, oh, that's how you lead your life. Be generous. and you can be the best person who ever lived. Wow. It's a nice story. I have never heard a bad thing about Jack Benny. People love him more than anybody.

Like wall to wall, he's probably the most beloved person. Everybody that we've had on the show that had any dealings with him at all just said how generous he was to other performers. You see people's faces warm up who've worked with him. And in comedy it's so hard because a guy like Jack Benny, he's making decisions constantly that affect people. He had to fire people.

He had to decide this script was good or this actor or actress was good or needed to be fired. And so it's always very weird that you can navigate running shows and big operations and not have disgruntled people in your past. The other cool thing in the Albert Brooks interview is I never knew he hung out with Harry Nielsen and John Lennon. Two of the Hollywood vampires. And he talked about them going to a record that were buying all the Albert Brooks records and then driving down Sunset Boulevard and just throwing them. and people on the briefs.

I mean, it was great just to get Albert to do the interview. He's hilarious, and the Jew card and the whole thing in this is 40 is so funny. I mean, when we did This Is 40, Albert, every night before we shot a scene, he would email me incredible lines that were way better than anything I wrote. And just that was just a dream, because he really is an incredibly funny person, but also a brilliant actor. I think one of the great actors of all time. And if you look at that sequence in broadcast news

where he has a big confrontation with Holly Hunter, I mean, to me, I don't think it gets better than that. It's wonderful. Where he says Tom is the devil while being a very nice guy. It's a wonderful scene. It's a wonderful movie that people don't talk about. It's a perfect movie. Now, were you friends with Andy Kaufman in those days?

I never spoke to him. I remember he would come in. I remember him going up on stage and he did, you know, a hundred bottles of beer on the wall and just the entire from 100 to one. But, yeah, no, I never spoke to him. I remember Freddie Prince. Really? I never spoke to him either.

He was already known back then. When did you start talking to people? Did you hear the Steve Busemi episode? Steve Busemi was trying. trying out stand-up. Gilbert was successful at that point. Steve Busemi was nobody. They get in a cab together, and Steve's thinking,

well, he's a successful comic. He's going to pick up the cab. And Gilbert never went into his pocket. And I didn't even talk to him. He didn't talk to him the entire ride. So I'm no Jack Benny. No. Now, years ago, this is a connection we have.

Years ago, I was watching TV, and I was switching around. I can't watch anything for longer than five minutes. And George of the Jungle was on. That's true? Yes. And your wife, Leslie Mann, was in it. And I remember I thought, oh, she's like skinny, cute and funny.

And this is absolutely true. I remember saying, boy, I could see myself fucking her. That's terrible. That's both a compliment and terrible. I'm both outraged and I'll tell her and she'd love to know. Yes. How do you think You think she would?

Would she be excited about that? I mean, send the kids out of town. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to tell her with the kids there. You know that bird you love from that movie? Hilarious. I thought that bird would be my selling point. Tell us about working with Leslie.

I mean, and what it's like. I mean, I'm reading in the book how she makes contributions. Well, she's so funny and so smart. And, you know, as a woman in Hollywood, there's so few good scripts. There's probably more now. But when I first met Leslie in the mid-90s, you know, every woman in a movie was just there to be, you know, wanted by a guy. And they were just getting, you know, guys from point A to point B. And so, you know, we used to talk a lot about just how weak all these parts were.

And it had a big influence on me. I did a pass on the wedding singer, just a polish. And I remember thinking, what does he? how good I can make this Drew Barrymore part. And it was Ignores that ringing phone. Oh, that's fine. It was a, you know, a challenge to try to

change that. And so over the years, Lesie and I have, you know, collaborated in all these movies, and she's really tough on them. She's funny. And she asks really hard questions about these relationships and how they work and how we can have balance.

And she's been a real partner. And then I think it's inspired me to want to work with Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer and Chris and Whig and Annie Mubbleau because there are some brilliant women and I think now you see a lot more opportunities which is great. I mean because I mean what Amy Schumer does and train wreck is unbelievable. She's an amazing writer and actress and we we shouldn't have one train wreck. We should have 50 train wrecks. I mean you're sort of like becoming a George Cuker of comedy, like a, in a way.

Well, I like a... I mean, a woman's director. Well, a little bit. Well, you know, here's the funny thing. And producer. There's so many areas in comedy that are burnt out and you feel like, oh, that vein has been used up, that type of story has been told. And oddly, because there hasn't been anywhere near enough female stories, when you start writing in that area, it's all fresh. And so, you know, Lena can write five seasons of girls and you think,

I haven't seen any of this before because there's not a hundred shows like it. Especially in a reverent movie like Bridesmaids, that people aren't used to comedy like that really edgy comedy coming from women. Because I look back and go, don't you wish there were 10 brilliant Gilda Radner movies that we could all go back and look at? But the material wasn't there. However the system worked, it certainly didn't support the Jane Curtin-Lorraine Newman,

Gilder Radner movies. Ten brilliant Louis-Tomlin movies. Andrew Martin, Catherine O'Hara movies we would have liked to have like in the early 80s. I mean, all those people went on to do a lot of amazing things, but I think the system was much

more difficult to navigate, and they didn't go to those people and say, here, write a script, what are your visions? And I think they do that a little more now, and now that Trainwreck did well, you just hope it's another signal. This is a giant market, because they only chase

the money. So, you know, oh, there's a market there. Just like there's a superhero market, there's a great female-driven movie market, and we should, you know, they only do it because they want to tap it for money. So you just hope the incentive is there now. For Gilbert to make the best female-driven comedy.

Because no one has a more female-friendly act than Gilbert. You want to wrap it up? You have anything else you want to ask this, man? Yeah. Do you think your wife would make out with me and then give me a hand release afterwards? Who's the director in that film? Or is this a project? Someone who makes fantasies.

Are you pitching a movie right now? I want to ask you about upcoming projects before we jump. You're doing a film with Key and Peel? Yes. Me and Key and Peel are writing a movie together. And, you know, I'm excited to get that done at some point. I mean, they're really incredible and funny and brilliant. And obviously, you know, the next step for them will be to, you know, do in movies what Amy has just done.

Can you tell us anything about the Pee Wee Project? The Pee Wee Project? Well, I really encourage him to do something in the tradition of Pee We's Big Adventure. And he really wrote a hilarious movie with Paul Russ. This guy, John Lee, who's done a lot of amazing stuff, like a heart-she-holler and adult swim productions. And it's really out there and super funny. And I think what people hope he's going to do he has just done. It's weird.

Pee Wee Herman in so many interviews has said he auditioned for Saturday Night Live. In what year? Wow, I didn't know that. For the same season I was. Oh, in 1980. Wow. And he said when he saw me there, he thought that meant, well, I definitely don't have. this because we're both like kind of character comics.

Oh, interesting. Because that's before Peewee even took off. Yeah. That was a few years later. Yeah, he didn't have that whole persona back then. He hadn't done it yet. He was still Paul Rubens. There's so many people who didn't get Saturday Night Live.

Just the other day, me and my daughters, I don't know why they wanted to. But my 12-year-old wanted to go on YouTube and watch all the Saturday Night Live auditions. Oh, geez. And they have Jim Carrey's audition. and my daughter was livid afterwards. She's like, how do you not give that guy Saturday Night Live? And then other people's auditions were up

who got the show and some who were very successful and she's like, they got out over Jim? What did you do 11 episodes? Oh, yeah, yeah. And Judd remembers them. Judd is one of the few comedy geeks who would remember them. Oh, this is frightening. With Denny Dillon.

I was like, Denny Dillon was very funny. She did some of, and also Gail Matthias was very funny. Wow! She did one of the first, uh, Valley Girl characters. Yes, that's the first time anyone ever heard of Valley Girl. Yeah. And I, I mean, Charles Rocket, I thought it was really funny. Christine Eversol went on to have a career.

Oh, well, she wasn't mine. Oh, she wasn't your season? Who was the third girl? I got it. Uh, it was, DeMeet, Danica Vance? No, no. She was later. Oh, wow.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I think, Judd, think. I think. Uh, give me the first letter of her. A.

I don't have it. I can see her in my... She's blondes. No. And I can see her. What's her name? Ann Risley. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I remember, but... And, well, of course, Eddie Murphy. Was Tony Rosado on that?

No, no. He came later. I think he came with Eversol later. Rossado, yeah. Who I heard went nutty. I hear he's back. I just say, here's what a comedy nerd I am. I've read all the Tony Rosado articles. That's serious.

I literally went down the Tony Rosado rabbit hole the other day and tracked some of his obstacles and I hear he's doing well now, but he was super funny. Is it true you used to transcribe S&L episodes or Twilight Zone episodes? Well, both, but Saturday Night Live, before you could record things on your VCR, your Betamax,

the only way to remember it, I would record it with an audio record. order. And then sometimes I would transcribe a sketch just to understand what it was. Like, what did I just see? How does it work? But I did have them on audio for a little while. And you never knew, I didn't understand how reruns worked. So if Steve Martin was on Saturday Night Live, I thought, if I miss it, I will never see it again for the rest of my life. And that's not what anything is like now. But back then you'd be in a panic if you missed something. Oh, yes, yes. So I used to try to track them. Now, what do you remember from my season? This fascinates Because that's something I can't watch Anything of mine

You remember Of your own Well one that was truly horrible Where wasn't the worst sketch It was just one of those Where you scratch your heads And go okay What is the fucking point here?

Yeah Was called Jack the Stripper Oh that's online That's on YouTube Yeah that's a bad one Now here's my question Because when you go back and look at the writers. There was a lot of legendary people

on that season and on the next season. Who screwed it up? I don't know. Is it Gene Dominion picking the sketches? Or is it like who is the person that doesn't know what to do with you? I don't know, but I remember some truly hard. And also it back then, I didn't realize at read-throughs when I'd hear something and,

I'd hear everyone cracking up. I used to think, oh, well, this means I don't get it. I don't understand why this is funny. Yeah. And now, you know, people go in a re-through, hi, everybody, and everyone's laughing and pounding the table. Who was the head writer? Do you remember, like, who you dealt with?

Was it Bob Tishler? No, he came with him. He probably came with Ever Saul. Did you have any writers, you especially? liked trying to write with? It got so bad at one point that they wrote me into a sketch as a corpse. It was a funeral scene.

Didn't you and Denny Dylan play an elderly Jewish couple? Yes, yes, the waxmans. The waxmans. Leo and... I forget. And then you did, well, Malcolm McDowell was in the Jack the Ripper sketch. Oh, yes.

But you're doing a Cockney accent. Yes. Did he was there one sketch that you thought killed and I'm really getting it? No. No. No, when it ended, so were you saying that you were fired mid-season? Yeah, I was fired.

They had just begun work on the very last episode. It was going to be with Graham Chapman. Oh, yes. I have a good Graham Chapman story. Oh, okay. Just when I was in college, he was a speaker at USC, and I was in charge of the speakers committee, and me and a friend hung out with him and his associate.

or whatever that meant. And we smoked pot all night with him. I was like 18 years old. And he told us stories for what felt like hours. And he talked to us like we were on the same level as him. And we were just two kids. We meant nothing. And he told us stories about going to whorehouses with Keith Moon.

And every story had Paul McCartney or you know, somebody incredible in it and was a complete gentleman and the nicest man I'd ever met and it was maybe the best night of my entire college experience. But I always remembered wow, he seemed as interested in our

stupid college life as we were in the brothel with Keith Moon story. And then I was trying to get a job working for him on a... He was doing a thing called the Dangerous Men's Club or something. It was these guys they would

you know, ride like a bed down a very steep ski hill. It was like the original jackass. Him and a bunch of guys would do incredibly dangerous things and he was going to make a movie about it and then he got sick and passed away. Top that, Gilbert. Well, that was a very funny story. Tell us real quick and we'll go about Jim Henson,

what Jim Henson told you, because obviously, I read it in the interview with you and Leslie in the book. It helped you make the transition from performing to writing? Well, I always knew that I wasn't as funny as a comedian as my friends like Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler and then all of our friends like Rob Schneider

and Drake Zather and David Spade. They were just really interesting as comics. And I auditioned to host a show with Adam Sandler that Jim Henson was producing back in 1990 or something. And he wanted a couple of comedians to travel across country with their own video cameras and videotape.

each other was right when America's funniest video started and that was the craze, like home video. So I get a call that I didn't get it. But Jim Henson wants to buy all my ideas for the show. And then they said, he doesn't want you on the show

because he thinks you lack warmth. And I thought, this is a guy who can make like two ping pong balls into a magical warm creature, but he doesn't think it's possible to do with me. And I tell this story and I say, you know, it's like if Mr. Rogers said you don't deserve love.

But then I thought, is there any chance that this actually happened? Like, do you, did Jim Henson literally sit with a casting director and just like, don't forget to call John? I want to get some feedback. Can you tell him that he lacks warmth? Like, I don't think he would say that. I would help you learn to read. Yeah.

But it was one of the reasons why I stopped performing was these kind of things kept happening that were so brutal. But Sandler didn't get the job either, or David Spade or Rob Schneider. We all auditioned for it. But it certainly really was painful. Well, I guess... We like to end the show with a painful story when we can. Okay.

Tell us real quick about the book, where the book of the proceeds go to. SIG of the head goes to 826, which is a charity that provides free tutoring and literacy services to kids. and when I sold it, I said, okay, we'll give all the money to those guys. And I really didn't think they would sell it for much. And then they sold it for a shitload of money. And it was too late to say, okay, how about 5% of the proceeds? And then it was on the New York Times bestseller list for the first month.

I think it still is on it. And so it really has turned into a miscalculation of charitable giving. Your parents would be so ashamed. And the movie is train wreck. Yes, the movie is doing well. Train wreck, which is doing well, thank God. Okay, so this has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santo Padre,

and we've been talking to writer-producer and filmmaker and comedian Judd Apatow. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Pleasure. Get the new Foscombe C-1 indoor Wi-Fi security. camera because it's a reliable solution for indoor surveillance of your home or office. To learn more, go to www.foscam.us slash C1, where you'll be directed to our Amazon page,

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