Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Hank Garrett

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday of veteran character actor Hank Garrett (b. October 26th) by revisiting this 2016 interview with the man who played Officer Ed Nicholson on Gilbert's beloved “Car 54, Where Are You?". In this episode, Hank reminisces about working with Robert Redford, Sophia Loren, Al Pacino and Kirk Douglas (to name a few) and tells the boys about his unlikely journey from street tough to award-winning actor. Also, Hank remembers Al Lewis, emulates Sid Caesar, wrestles with Luca Brasi and shares a bill with Tony Bennett. PLUS: Gorgeous George! The Great Ballantine! The legend of Joe E. Ross! Gilbert meets Nipsey Russell! The genius of Nat Hiken! And Hank reveals how Sammy Davis Jr. changed his life! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TV comics, movie stars, hit singles and some toys. Trivia and dirty jokes, an evening with the boys. Once is never good enough for something so fantastic. So here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks. Here's another Gilbert and Franks Here's another Gilbert and Franks Colossal Classic Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre and we're once again at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Fertorosa.

Our guest this week is an actor, comedian, producer, martial arts expert, and former professional wrestler who's appeared in dozens of television shows, including Naked City, Kojak, Three's Company, Airwolf, Simon and Simon, Knight Rider, Columbo and Max Hadrum. Movies include Death Wish, Serpico, Exorc Days of the Condor, for which he won a New York Film Critics Award. Over a 50-year career, he's worked with everyone from Kurt Douglas to Tony Bennett to James Earl Jones to Sophia Loren. But he'll always be near and dear to our hearts for

playing Officer Ed Nicholson on one of the greatest situation comedies in the history of network TV, Car 54, where are you? Please welcome the only member of the Karate Hall of Fame we've ever had on this podcast, Hank Garrett. Gilbert, I'm blushing. God, you mentioned things that I forgot about. We like to do that, Hank. Yes. And watch your reaction. Yes, exactly.

Now, I still catch reruns of Car 54 on TV. I remember when it was on, and it still makes me laugh. Yeah, it was a wonderful show. We had a great time doing it. We had so much fun. We really looked forward to going to work every morning. And tell us about the creator Nat Heiken. Oh, God, Nat. He was God. There was a dear friend of mine whose name Mickey Deems was a stand-up comic and his wife Gertrude was not Huygens' secretary.

And I was a cop for about a minute and a half in New York. I had joined the police force and then I got this call for Mickey and he said, Would you like to come and read for a show called Car 54, Where Are You? And I said, yeah. He said, it's gonna be a wonderful series. Well, he set up, they set up the appointment and I walked into meeting that Heiken and I sat down and Nat looked at me and said,

you're Ed Nicholson. And I said, no, no, no, I'm Hank Garrett. And he said, just the kind of schmuck I'm looking for. He said, Nicholson is the character you're going to play on this show. I heard Nat Heiken knew immediately when he saw someone, like he liked funny looking people. Oh, thanks. But he must have seen something in your face. He was looking for a guy that was a musclehead and I had competed as a power lifter and bodybuilder.

You won an award for powerlifting. Yeah I broke the New York State record. Wow cool stuff. Yeah I did a 750 pound squat I broke the record and my knees at the same time. Now I heard Joey Ross was like a character to put it mildly. Yes. Yeah, he was really strange to give you an idea we were gonna we had a Was a show that we were doing and we're all gonna be dressed in different costumes. It was a masquerade party and Someone said what is Joey gonna dress as and someone said well, he'll put on clean underwear and nobody will recognize him. So it was that kind of a situation with Joey. And you told a story that one time you and Al Lewis was standing out on the street in your cops uniforms.

We were... I don't know what kind of language I can possibly use. Hey, do you know who you're talking to here? You can say whatever you want. Yeah, Gilbert, I got to tell you something about what you did on a show that absolutely destroyed everybody I knew. You were on some show and I think it was, I can't recall, but there was a African American comic, not a comic, an actor, he got up and he just said all the filthiest things that you could possibly say. And you followed him and said, the filthiest things that you could possibly say.

And you followed him and said, the guy just did my act. Everybody that was watching the show was on the floor. That was the you have to know Rose. It was incredible. Who were you following? Oh, I see. Well, no, I see. And up. Oh, Ice Tee. And he was going, I'm gonna kill you white motherfuckers. Exactly.

And rape some of you white bitches. So I said, I'm doing my bit anyway, and I said, I'm gonna kill you white motherfuckers and rape you white motherfuckers white pictures Yeah, but when you said and he just did my act God that is the funny I never ever forgot that it was Funniest things I never heard well Hank you were a stand-up before we turn the mics on you were telling Gilbert that you met Him at the improv. Yes, yes.

I wound up being Tony Bennett's opening act for four years. I was appearing at a club in New York called The Living Room. I'd done the improv and then I was at The Living Room. And the guy came in and said, would you be interested in going with D'Anthony and Mort Farber? And Mort Farber was Tony Bennett's attorney and manager. And I went up to see him and he signed me to a contract.

So I was with Tony for four years. Now, let's take it back to, I just want to get the chronology of this. Cause we talked, we touched about on Car 54 too. You were a wrestler. You were a professional wrestler. Now, tell us, tell us your name. Your wrestling.

Hank Daniels, the Minnesota farm boy. And you've never been to Minnesota. Never saw a farm. You're you're a Jew from New York. I'm my my name was Hank Greenberg. Like the ball player. That's exactly what happened. As a kid, I was a hoodlum. I lived on the streets. You're from Harlem, we should tell people. 111th, between Park and Lexington. Yep, not far from where we are now. Really? Well, about 70 blocks, but closer than where you are. This already is a schlep.

So now... So how did Hank Greenberg become the Minnesota Farm Boy? I was training with a guy who was an Olympic gold medalist, powerlift, a weightlifter. I was always in trouble. And I mean really in trouble. What were you doing? What kind of? I was packing a gun when I was 13. I was fighting all the time.

My folks were from Russia. And my father was here illegally. He met my mom, who had two children. Her husband died. And he assumed her last name because he was afraid he was going to be found out and sent back to Russia. So he got the name Greenberg. Now, I come along, I'm born late in life to them,

unexpectedly. And they were so busy trying to make a living, they were peddlers, fruit and vegetable peddlers. They didn't have time for me. So, I was on the streets. There were times I slept in cardboard boxes. I slept under stairways. Always hanging out, always in trouble. Now, watching big guys play dice. And there's a raid. And it's a bunch of kids, myself included. And we're arrested. and we're arrested and we're taken down to a police station place called The Tombs.

So now an Irish sergeant comes over and he says, all right now, I want your names. So one of the guys was named Ted Williams. He said Teddy Williams, the baseball player. Okay, and you, what's your name? I said, Hank Greenberg. Another Hall of Famer. Another baseball player. I see. Now he comes up to my friend and he said, and you, what's your name? He said, George Washington Jr. The cop said, you lying sons of bitches, you're going to stay here till you fucking tell me

your right names. But I took the name Garrett. That's great. But I took the name Garrett. I was in love with Betty Garrett. And we had done a Chabad telethon. And so I just adopted that name. Come to find out later on, my great, great grandmother married my great great grandfather he was from London he worked for a the Hudson Bay Fur Company he was sent to London to buy fur to Russia to buy furs he met my great great grandmother and his last name was Garrett. Oh, that's funny. And I didn't know that.

Now, what was you went from being a tough street thug. And so what was the turnaround? Sammy Davis Jr. There was a gentleman who was the mayor of Harlem. And he was a customer to my mom. And she was crying to him that I was always in trouble. Cops were looking for me, other guys that I had gotten in fights with. And he came to me and he said, you got, I got permission to take you out.

Now you tell somebody in New York, I'm taking you out. That means he's going to knock me off. Yeah. York, I'm taking you out. That means he's going to knock me off. So I got ready and he had slapped and he also he slapped a cigarette out of my mouth. And I didn't know who this guy was. And I moved in on him and two mountains came toward me, his two bodyguards. And then he explained, he said, your mother wants me to take you to dinner and then we're going to go meet a friend of mine. And he said, have you got a suit? I said, yeah, I've got a suit.

He said, before you wear the suit, take a bath. I don't know what. I got dressed. Six o'clock he picked me up and took me to a place in Harlem called Wells where they had fried chicken and waffles. We ate and he said, if you're hungry, I'm going to give you, you come back here, we'll get a package of food for your mom. I said, oh, cool.

Took me to the Apollo Theater to meet Sammy Davis Jr. and we went into his dressing room and there were hundreds of people milling about to meet Sam. I walked in and Sam said to me, Mr. Bryant, that was his name, Willie Bryant, told me you're either going to go to prison or you're going to die. I said, that's it. He said, the way you're going. Yeah, there's that's it. My friend. They got me a gig with an all-black orchestra called Lucky Millinder and

we're working the Hotel Teresa and I said what's a band boy? He said you're gonna put out the music and the stands for each one of the musicians. He said and then when the gig is over put all the stuff away. I did and he came over to me and he handed me 50 bucks and I said what he said get yourself some new kicks shoes my shoes were torn to shreds I bought a pair of floor-sham shoes for $15 and I went from Tom McCann to Floor Shime in one night. And I gave my mom 35 bucks, more money than she had seen all month. And that was the start. They got me more gigs and I started doing jokes. I started working at Catskills when I was 16. Some stuff that I had put together from that I stole from Myron Cohen radio.

You borrowed Hank, you borrowed. Yes, I borrowed. And you- No, and so because I learned Sid Caesar was also my mentor, I would sneak into the studio and it was the Ed Sullivan Theater. I would climb the back stairs over the roof and down and I would sit up in the balcony and listen to Sid and he was he was my idol. And I learned to do dialectic gibberish and because of what I learned through Sid I wound up doing That Was the Week That Was in London. I remember that show. David Frost.

David Frost, exactly. That was the week that was. It's over. Let it go. Oh wow. He's big on theme songs. Oh that's amazing. While we wait for Gilbert to find the men's room, we promise we'll come back to the show after a word from our sponsor. Don't go away. And now back to the show. Now let's see if we get the order of this right. Sammy was involved in your rehabilitation.

Which is amazing. It's a great story in itself. And then you wind up in the clubs, and that leads to the Catskills. And was Larry Storch also a help to you? Yes, Larry had a club of his own and it was called The Crystal Room. Now I started martial arts when I was 11, only because I wanted to be a better street fighter. But truly.

Yeah. But instead, I've learned respect and humility. And one of the guys that was in my karate class was a bouncer at Larry's club. Wow. So I told him, thank God. He said, look, I'll get you in to meet Larry, but you've got to sit way the heck in the shadows. So no one will notice you

I was just a kid and I got to meet Larry Storch on And then I worked with him on car 54. Yeah, it's one of the first guys to do this podcast by the way Oh really he was Larry Storch He's a gift that Larry Storch was the drunk. Yes car 50 We had to try to rehabilitate him. But he did one of the things he did. He said he was straight, he was dry, he was composed. And he said, I'll tell you guys, I owe everything to you.

He said, I used to walk down Third Avenue, go into Jim's Bar, little drink, nothing, it was all glass. He says, I would go over to Fred's. Now Fred, you could get a double shot for a quarter. By the time you finished demonstrating, he was out of it completely. Boy, you remember every episode of Car 54. Oh my God, yeah. Every guest star.

Yeah, he was, he did a hysterical drunk thing, Larry Storchman. He was just amazing. So we're trying to get the sequence of this. So now you're, Sammy helps you clean up your act. You're in the, you're doing the clubs, you're doing Larry's club. You get to the cat skills. How the the clubs, you're doing Larry's club, you get to the cat skills. How the hell does professional wrestling come into this picture? All this was happening at the same time because when I started doing karate,

I really blew up. I started pumping iron at when I was 13 and I got huge. And I got huge. I'm working out at the Y and a guy approached me and asked me if I would be interested in being a wrestler. He didn't know how old I was. And I said, Dude, you're going to pay? He said, yeah, he pays quite well. Not true. And so I met with him and the guy who was booking the entire territory. And I went to see this guy, Tuts Mont, and he said, well, what's your name?

And I said, Hank Garrett. He said, nah, I ain't gonna like You're the farm boy, I said He said yeah, you're gonna be the Minnesota farm boy they dyed my hair blonde Like gorgeous George That's exactly a joint what George's was amazing. He was amazing Now the funny thing happens with my mom. I came to California. She thought I came out here to be an actor And I'm wrestling all over and at one point I came back to New York and

I had a fan club that made all my clothes. These little old ladies, the youngest was about 130. And they made these things, beaded brocades and fringes and spangles. Now I come home, fifth floor walk up, and my mom, who's this tiny little lady, tiny, she was 4'10". Wow. She weighed, and weighed 220 pounds. A friend of mine who was a wonderful comedy writer, a guy named Herb Harding said, how

tall is your mom? I said, she's 4'10". He says, what does she weigh? I said, 220. He said, well, thank God she's got the height to carry that weight. So now my mom is going to help me unpack and she opens up the bag and she sees all these beads and spangles and she looks at the blonde hair and she says, hey tell me the truth, are you a communist? Who did you wrestle as the Minnesota farm boy? Did you wrestle by the way Lenny Montana? Lenny was my tag team partner.

You know Lenny Montana is Gil? No. Luke Gabrazzi. Oh my God! The one that gets the ice pick through his hand. Yes! Yeah. Now I heard Gorgeous George is where Muhammad Ali got all his shtick from.

Exactly. They were doing an interview and Muhammad Ali watched gorgeous George. Now, George was a straight wrestler and he said, I need a gimmick. And so he came up with the blonde hair, the gold hair pins, a valet with a flick gun full of perfume and he would spray everybody in the ring, including the ref. And Muhammad Ali heard him being interviewed. And he said, We have this wrestler, Gorgeous George, and you're wrestling a brother, Leo Don Leo Jonathan. I'll kill him. I'll rip his throat out.

And then after I tear him to shreds, I'll kill his family." Everybody showed up to see George get beaten by Don Leo Jonathan. And so Luca Brasi was your wrestling, was your tag team partner. That's kind of surreal, isn't it, Gil? Oh my god, yeah. Wonderful story about, he would wrestle as himself. Then he'd run into the locker room

and he put on a zebra outfit. To pick up extra money, he became the zebra kid. Now we're wrestling in New York, they book us here. And we look at, and we're at the Hollywood Legion Stadium, and it says, Luca Brasi, oh no, that was before he did Luca Brasi and said, wrestling the zebra kid. And I looked and I said, Lenny, they got you wrestling yourself. You know how fast you're gonna have to be.

That night I became the zebra kid. Oh, that's great. But Lenny was 6'3", weighed about 300 pounds and had a size 15 shoe. I put his stuff on. I can't tighten the trunks because he was like a 42 waist on power lifting and bodybuilding. So my waist was 34, 35.

I wear a size 10 shoe. He's a 15. I put a size 10 shoe. He's a 15. I put all his stuff on. He's in the ring. Now, I have no traction. The ring is on an uphill. So they have to push me up the hill to the ring. I look, and I see the referee lying in the corner.

And I said, that crazy bastard knocked out the referee and I look closer the referee's hysterical laughing at my outfit trying to get into the ring. As I step in the ring Lenny hits me with a forearm smash catches me here and the helmet goes and now the eyes are in the back. I can see it. That's great. And I won. That's great. Now I heard a story that you're working on a movie with someone who you wouldn't think of as a violent guy, O.J. Simpson. That angel? Oh the movie was Firepower right? Yes with Sophia Loren. Right and James Coburn. Oh yeah. So tell us the fight you had. Well, uh, Sophia is my boss's girlfriend and we're in the British West Indies when we're in Antigua.

She's in a gift shop. And I tell her that my boss wants to see her. And she says, tell him to wait. And I said, nobody tells him to wait. And I wipe everything off the table. I grab her arm, and I twist her arm, and drag her her out of the place and throw her in a car. OJ has got to rescue her. Now we've rehearsed. All he had to do was come behind me, put his hand on the back of my head, and I would bang control the hit against the car. Not the way he played it. He came behind me, grabbed my hair, smashed

my head against the open door, and cut me open. And I went out, knocked me out, and I'm covered in blood. So now, they run to get my then- wife, who's at the hotel. She comes running out and she sees me lying in Sophia's lap. Sophia's got a towel and she's mopping the blood. My wife looks at me lying in Sophia's lap and says, are you comfortable? And as an idiot comic, what do I say? Well, I make a nice living. She ran to the hotel, packed and left. Now, I come back to New York after the shoot

and we're there for a month. We've reconciled. We're walking down Madison Avenue, and there's a small private hotel, and I see two guys in suits come out, and they're looking around. I said, bodyguards. Out comes Sophia,

and she sees me across the street, and she runs over and says, oh, Hank, baby, how are you? How's your head? And I hear, Taxi! That's great. A couple of weeks later, we were divorced. Wow.

Yeah. Wow, yeah, and I heard when Sophia Loren was cradling you She's Sophia started screaming Get him an ambulance And and and you yelled out, but don't hurt. Yes. Take your time You know that movie has come up on this podcast before that Dominic Chianese was in Firepower. Oh my god that's right! Yeah the guy from the... the grandpa... uncle junior from the Sopranos. Oh my god.

Yeah Michael Winner the director of Death Wish. That we have... Death Wish is one of my favorites. Is it really? We just had Stuart Margolin on. Oh wow I haven't seen Stu in years. Tell us about filming Death Wish. Wow. Michael Winner was really a strange guy.

He only cared about himself. He did a movie about stuntmen and he hurt everybody on the film. Yeah, he just didn't care. We were doing one of the scenes, well, we did this fire power I'm referring to. And there was a scene where Coburn is being chased by a bunch of bad guys in boats

and he tosses gasoline into the water and then fires a flag gun, and they guys explode in boats and so forth. And the stunt coordinator, his name was Terry, said, Michael, we can't do the shot here. He said, it's too windy. He said, the guys are gonna hit the, you know, and get into the water.

They won't be able to poke a hole to come back up to breathe. And he said, I want the shot here. He said, we can't do it. He said, then you're fired. And he brought in a British team and a good portion of them were hurt. And it was just awful. Interesting. I don't think Dominic liked him very much either.

He told us. He was a Brit, Michael Winner. I told Michael, I got myself into some trouble. We were shooting, there was a boat, a large boat, and a tugboat. And so the tugboat was the camera boat. So we were shooting all the stuff with Sophia and James. And because of the rough water, the two boats kept coming close to each other. Meanwhile, I had gotten shot, and the guy who was working with me,

they hang him over the edge of the boat to find out where the boss is. And they had shark catchers. And everyone was worried about these two boats colliding. And this kid is hanging off the edge of the boat. And I said to Michael, Michael, the two boats are going to collide. This kid is going to get killed. And he said, has nothing to do with you.

And I said, if he gets hurt, I'll break your back. He said, you're threatening me. I said, really? Now James Coburn pulled me aside. So now, fortunately, as the boats were coming close, the kids spun around and got away from the collision. Next scene, we're at the dock. And Coburn, I'm on the boat, Coburn coming toward the

boat. I go to try and shoot him, he shoots me and boom, I hit the deck. And I see Michael wearing a white linen suit standing with a megaphone on the dock. Coburn sees me and says, Minnesota. That he kept calling me that. I don't like the look on your face. I said, why? He shoots me.

I've got two squibs explode and I see Michael standing right below me, and I fell off the boat and landed right on top of him. And all I heard was, get off of me, you bloody bastard! Michael and James said, God, did you fuck up his suit? That's great. And tell us what Charles Bronson was like to work with. He would do his scene and disappear. He would go into his dressing room and not have a thing to do with anybody around.

So I was in the film with him but never got to meet him. Charles Baczynski. Yes. Yeah. He was a mine. Stuart Margolin told us some interesting things about him. That he dressed as, what was the thing that he dressed in girls' clothing when he was a kid? Yeah, he was a coal miner. Yes. His whole family. Yeah, they were broke. They had no money. They were poor. And so sometimes they'd run out of clothes. Yeah. And he would have to wear one of his sister's dresses. The hand-me-downs, yeah.

To go to school. Yeah, but he got a lot of dates. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha As long as we're talking about action sequences and we'll talk about two films that Gilbert and I like that you're in. One is Serpico. Oh, yes. Or Your Muscles Malone. And that's directed by Gilbert's favorite director, Sidney Lumet. Yes.

Yes. Oh, tell us about Sidney Lumet working with him. Oh, man. What a great guy. One of the scenes at the police station, the young actor had to do a crossover. Nothing more. And on action, he had to do the cross. And when he got to the other side, he had two lines of dialogue and he would blow it

every time. So before the cross he was waiting and waiting and action waiting waiting. Sydney stopped and said young man what are you waiting for? He said I'm trying to find my motivation. And Sydney said, Your motivation is to avoid unemployment. And I want a wonderful line. And then the guy that kept blowing his lines, Sydney had everybody done just quiet. He said, Sit here. He said, And just talk to me, just quiet. He said, sit here. He said, and just talk to me.

Just talk. And he said, OK, now what is your reason for saying these lines? And he told him, he said, well, give me the line. He said, yeah, don't act. Just, just. And he did the lines. And he said, oh, thank you. You got it?

He had the camera rolling. Oh, smart. Wow. Well, he was an actor himself, wasn't he? Yes. Yeah, wasn't he in like a Bowery Boys? Yeah, I believe he was. I think he was on the fringes of either the Bowery Boys or the Dead End Kids.

Wow. And Sidney Pollock. And Sidney Pollock, yeah, sure, you worked-end kids. Wow, and Sidney Pollock. And Sidney Pollock, yeah, sure, you worked with him too. Yeah, and he was... We watched that scene today, by the way. Oh, the fight. Yeah, we watched the fight.

Oh my God, yes. Now, interestingly, and Frank and I were talking about this, in three days of the Condor, you look like a cop. You're dressed as a cop. Dressed as a mailman. Oh, mailman. Dressed as a mailman. And you want to get into Robert Redford's house and he's afraid to open the door. And then finally you get in and Redford looks down at your shoes. And he sees those are not a mailman's shoes. Exactly. They were brown Adidas and they were his.

He came up with the idea. Redford? Yes. They said, what's the tip-off? We're trying to find the tip-off and he turned around at a meeting and said, the shoes, I've got to see. And he went to his dressing room. He had just purchased these brown Adidas that were the same size as I wear, put these on.

And they do, you know, as I come in, then they do a tight close-up of my feet. And you see the shoes. And that's when he grabs this pot of coffee and throws it at me as I'm pulling the machine gun. Now Redford saved my eyesight. Oh he was supposed to hit me in the face with this this pot of coffee and he walked over he wasn't even in the shot. He was in a dressing room. They were going to do a tight close-up of me getting the coffee.

And he just walked over, and he looked at the pot of coffee, and it was smoke coming out of it. And he said to the guy handling special effects, what is with that? He said, well, it's not hot coffee, Bob. He said it's something acid diluted with mineral oil. And Redford said, what happens if you get it in his eye? He said, no, no, it doesn't burn.

He stuck his finger and he said, no, no, what happens if it gets into his eyes? He walked over and he asked Sydney, Sydney, can I throw the coffee? And he said, sure,, can I throw the coffee? And he said, sure. We don't even need you in the shot. He said, a tight close up. He said, let me do it. And then he called me over and said, Hank,

I'm going to hit you waist high. And all I want you to do is throw your hands up at your face like it landed in your face. Did the shot. And it was wonderful. Come to find out had he gotten that in my eyes he would have blinded me. Wow. Wow. Thank you Robert Redford. And I repaid, how do I repay this man? I break his nose. Right, oh you broke his nose. That's right. I was going to ask you about that. So in a fight scene, you broke his nose?

Yes. It's called a Jew gets back. No, it's not. The mineral oil that was in the coffee was all over the floor. And I'd tell Bob, Bob, I'm going to do a sweep. And I'm just going to take you over my left knee, throw you down. Don't come in low. Slipped on the mineral oil and came face forward. As I came around, my elbow hit him square in the nose. And we continue the fight.

And I look and I see blood coming out of his nose. And I'm about to call Sidney, and Bob waved me off. And we continued the fight scene. That night, Redford called me and said, Hank, wait till you see the fight scene. It is the best. Oh, and by the way, you broke my nose. By the way.

Exactly. That's what I said. By the way, I'll never work again. I'm finished. You know the great thing about that scene, and it's interesting, your versatility, Hank, because you're obviously a comedic actor, a gifted comedic actor, and you're a comic.

You're a stand-up comic as well. But you're scary as comedic actor, a gifted comedic actor, and you're a comic. You're a standup comic as well, but you're scary as hell in that scene. And I can't think of too many comedians that Gilbert and I were talking about it before. They're such a convincing heavy. Yeah, it's so chilling when you're going after Redford and that. I kept thinking of the agents I worked for. And you came away with an award for that scene.

Yeah, I won the winning New York Film Critics. Did you stay friends with Redford after that? I wanted to. I had his home number and my ex-wife stole my phone book and destroyed it. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Incidentally, I'm with a lady now who's my manager. Now, I've been with the top managers in the business. I've been with the top agency, and I've never, ever, ever experienced what I'm experiencing today with this lady. Her name is Deanna Marie

Smith and she's known as the Red Warrior. The Red Warrior. I needed to manage me. She's amazing. I just had to get that in because she's... I'm here because of her. That's great. Again, Gilbert would find this interesting. Here's a little trivia I dug up on Hank. He played the part of Lenny in Of Mice and Men. Oh wow! In a production of Of Mice and Men, directed by, you tell him Hank. Oh my God, with Peaks Island, Maine.

Right. Jose Ferrer. Jose Ferrer was his director. Oh my God! Isn't that cool? Wow! Hicks Island, Maine, Jose Ferrer. Jose Ferrer was his director. Oh my god. Isn't that cool? Wow. Gilbert loves that movie.

Worships Lon Chaney Jr. in that movie. Oh my god. I got it to, because of Jose Ferrer, he got me an audition for the actor studio. Now, I had two half-brothers, adopted brothers. And they were from Italy, and they were here illegally. My father became their guardian. And I'm at the actor's studio.

And they were living, the three of us, as kids, in the same bed. So now, they come to me, and they were living, the three of us, as kids in the same bed. So now they come to me and they're saying, mama told us you're just going to be over there? And you're at the actor's studio? What are you doing over there? I said, well, I'm going to be working with Lee Strasburg. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Lee Strasburg, yeah.

I wish our listeners could see your expressions when you're doing that. These impressions. I'm gonna do the scene. Oh, Strasburg says, Mr. Ferrer said, do you wonderful and I would love to hear you do the scene. So I have to prepare and I said, can my two brothers come?

Said, they can sit in the back providing they don't make any noise. Now this is Vinnie and Charlie Falcone. And I said, listen, you guys could come, but you can't make any noise. What are we fucking kids over here? What fucking noise? We're going to watch you do something. Nice. We don't bother nobody. Okay. This is the God's honest truth. I do the scene. Strasburg says, Mr. Garrett, is that the way Mr. Ferrer directed you to play the scene? I said, yes. Let me show you how it should be played.

Vinnie yells, what the fuck was wrong with the way he played it? We thought it was fucking terrific. And I see the color drain out of Strasburg's face. Charlie says, hey, what are you fucking deaf? My brother's talking to you Mr. Garrett yes Would you ask your two hoodlum friends to leave and would you please go with them? Ha ha ha ha!

It crossed me right out of the story. Ha ha ha ha ha! That's a good one. Now, you're also an autographed hound. Oh, God. Yeah, I used to save. In fact, I'm doing an autographed show on the ninth, eighth and ninth at the Western Hotel near LAX. And what I do is I raise funds for disabled vets. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us your, your, your charities.

Yeah. I've been raising, I went to do a show at the Veterans Hospital and I saw these kids missing arms and legs. I mean kids, they're babies. So I decided I got to do something about it. So I started raising funds. So I do the autograph shows all over the country and all the proceeds go to the disabled vets. So I've raised over $50,000. Good for you, Hank. And now there's another thing that's come into my life. My manager is from a farm in Idaho. We went to see the farm, and she arranged for me

to go and talk to children that are incarcerated. And to see children babies, 11 to 17 incarcerated. They didn't know who I was. They had nothing to do with me, but what we did, we ran a copy of car 54 before I, before my introduction. So when I came out and I talked to them. I just said, tell them I was there. I was there where you are. And unfortunately, I my son was spent most of his life in prison.

He had attention deficit and hyperactivity. Nobody knew how to deal with it. And he was always in trouble. I mean, lost them a couple of years ago. He was out, got a job working at a studio as a welder and he was killed on a motorcycle accident. I'm sorry. Thank you. And so I talked to these kids and the change in their face and attitude as I was telling them, I've been there.

I've experienced exactly what you're going through. And my thing is I couldn't save my son, but I'm going to try to save some of the kids. So we've been doing that. And that's a mission. But boy, so worthwhile. That's admirable work, Hank. Good for you. Thank you.

Good for you. You got a couple more questions about Car 54, Mr. Hamm? Oh, I bet you do. Oh, I have a bunch of questions still. do. Oh, I have a bunch of questions still. You, oh, you, I heard you go after autographs from people who you really admire. Yes. And you keep memorabilia too from your various shoots, don't you? Yes, I have. Oh my God, yeah. I had some of the clothes that I wore on the Car 54, I have one of the caps. Clothes I wore when I did,

I had a series with James Earl Jones. Yes, Paris. Paris. Yeah, I was co-starring with him and clothes were made for me and it was just that I can't get into now. to now. Yeah, I got autographs at Kirk Douglas. Did a fight scene with Kirk. Wow. Yeah, tell us about that. Kirk came to me and he said, we're gonna do the fight scene. I said, yeah. He says, I've got a reputation. I have never made contact. I said, oh, that's terrific. Action, pop, caught me right in the nose. Ha ha ha ha. And I said, Kirk, not only did you fuck up your reputation,

look at what you did to my nose. What was the name of that movie, Hank? A lovely way to die. Yeah, that was a... Isn't that it? Yeah, I think it was. Yeah, I think so. Because I know because I also did a film with uh Cagney. Oh you did? Wow! Yeah I

was an extra. I missed that one. Oh god and uh Cagney is gonna make a speech he's up on a big platform and he's talking to dock workers. I'm a dock worker. And he said, I don't know that he's up there. And I said, who's the star? And he said, James Cagney. And I'm John Cagney. I'll tell you, and he's watching me and he says, that's the fattest Cagney I've ever seen. The fattest cagney I've ever seen.

And I look up and I go, oh, I got to you. He answers me in Yiddish. He says, where are you? He invites me to have lunch with him. He was raised in a Jewish neighborhood on the Lower East Side. Oh that's terrific. And he spoke fluent Yiddish. Did you know that Gil? Yes, I had known about that. Wow.

He grew up around Jews. Yes, he should. He should speak Yiddish. Exactly. And you got Jerry Lewis's autograph. Oh, I was in a terrible auto accident. And I was in hospital for 13 and a half months. Wow. Yeah, I was really busted up coming back from the Catskills. Voice singer who's driving.

I was in a passenger seat and he fell asleep and we hit the island. We bounced off the retaining wall into the oncoming traffic and there was a truck coming at us and he pulled over to what looked like a level side but it was a foot, a 40 foot drop. You couldn't see this gap. And down we went. He was killed, and I wound up in a hospital. And Jerry had a relative at the hospital. And he came over to me, and he saw me. I was in a body cast for a long time, eight months in a body cast.

And Jerry said, how you doing kid? And I said, okay. I said, can I have your autograph? He says, better than that. Let me give you a check. And he wrote down a check for 25 bucks. And he said, if you don't cash it, you'll have my autograph forever. I said, can you come a little closer so when I throw this shot I don't hurt my shoulder? Wow. As time winds down here, Hank, let's ask you some more Car 54 stuff. We gotta ask you about Al Lewis. Oh, my partner.

Who Gilbert knew a little bit. Al Lewis I would run into all the time when porn king Al Goldstein of School Magazine, he would have these brunches and I'd be sitting with Al Lewis in his Western clothes. Oh my God. He was pretty insane, Al. Oh, he was totally insane. Ha ha ha ha ha! We're on a break.

We're shooting in the Bronx, and we walk, first we've had several encounters. We're sitting on a stoop and smoking. I smoked at the time and he's smoking these denobely cigars. And a big car pulls up and the guy jumps out of the car and he says are you two fucking cops nuts? I got a deputy chief inspector in here. You're both cooping. You're standing there smoking. You're out of uniform Answers tell him to go fuck himself Said Al you don't we're doing it. He said, fuck you.

I would... Then the guy realized that we weren't real cops and there's no 53rd precinct. That's great. So he gets in the car and drives away. We go in on the next day, we're still in that same location. We walk into an Italian deli. We're on break, got two hours before our next shot. We walk in and a little Italian gentleman sees us and he's, can I help you officer?

He said, yeah, we want to get a couple of sandwiches. And he said, and he said, he said, my father's like, it's a tootsle, when I got shut down, my mother say, no, go for it. He says, anything else you like to have with this sandwich? So Al says, yeah, I'll have a soda. And I said, no. And I look at this poor guy and Al says,

well, what do we owe you? Oh, nothing. I like to give him my food away. And he gives us the sandwiches. And it's June or July. As we hit the door, he says, Officer, Merry Christmas. I come back and I put a couple of bucks on the counter and we ran. I love that. You know he was a man of mystery Al Lewis. Nobody knew his real age.

If you do internet research on him you can't even find out what year he was born. He was either born in 1910 or 1923, which is quite a difference. And then he was a scout for basketball. He was a basketball expert. Oh, he did that everywhere. Oh, Jesus. He knew hoops. But a real strange cat.

Yes, extremely. And tell us a little bit about Fred Gwynn, who Gilbert and I also love. Oh, Freddie was wonderful. Very bright guy. Yale graduate. Cartoonist. He wrote children's books. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Did the illustrations as well. Kind of kept to himself. We experienced the death of his child when we were shooting. His son, his baby was being cared for by a nanny and the baby had gotten out of the crib and rolled down hill and into the water. And he never said a thing.

He immediately left and we saw him a couple of days later and we were trying to console, but he was kind of reserved, kind of pulled back. But yeah, we shared a bunch of stuff together We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast But first a word from our sponsor a Good dramatic actor Fred Gwynn. Yes. He was you see him in the Cotton Club. Oh, yeah And and other things I mean I I even loved him in Pet cemetery that cemetery. Pet Sematary? Oh, yeah. What a range.

Sometimes. And he played Big Daddy. Yeah, oh, that's... Exactly. He did that all the good way. Sometimes death is better. Say it again? In Pet Sematary, he goes, sometimes death is better.

Oh, yeah. He's just got the new angle of action. Well, what about the judge and C Vinnie? My cousin Vinnie. Very funny. Very funny. I mean he could do comedy, he could do drama, he's really underrated. He got obviously in some sense typecast as Herman Munster. But he was great as Herman Munster and that too.

Let's ask you quickly about some of the other, what about Nipsey? Oh boy. Nipsey was probably one of the other, what about Nipsey? Oh boy. Nipsey was probably one of the funniest guys I've met. This is Nipsey Russell. Nipsey Russell for our listeners. Our listeners would know just who Nipsey is. Yeah, I know, I know. Which Nipsey are we referring to?

Nipsey D. Roosevelt. So tell us about Nipsey Russell. He had worked one nightclub in Harlem for 16 years, place called the Baby Grand, and he was the poet laureate of Harlem. He was wonderful. He wrote material all the time. Oh, he was marvelous. And he helped me. I was the first white comedian to work the Apollo Theater because of Nipsey. And scared to death. I walked out on stage and said, oh, I'm going to get killed. My entire neighborhood was there. Hey, Hank, how you doing man? This happened to me, I did a show at Rikers Island prison.

And I got a call from the warden asking me if I would do an appearance. And the warden said, gentlemen, we have a man here who is appearing at the Copacabana with Tony Bennett, and he's here to spend a few minutes with you. Hank Garrett. I walk out and I hear, oh shit, hey Hank. And one guy, give that motherfucker a number, he belong here with us. All the guys I grew up with in the joint. Hilarious.

I remember running into Nipsey Russell at some event and he came over to me and said, hey Gilbert, how you doing? And I just said, ah, my career's over. And Nipsey says to me, career is over and Nipsey says to me, welcome to the club. He's a little too gleeful about it. That's great. That's hilarious. That's wonderful. What about some of these other names? Since we talked about Storch guest starring on the show, Hank, what about the great Carl

Ballantine? Oh, he started me in the business. Did he? Wow. When I came out of the hospital, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I was going to do. And someone introduced me to call Valentine, the amazing Mr. Valentine. He had that crazy magic. How do you describe it? Every one of his

magic tricks would go badly and he'd be more and more like angry and disgusting. He would throw the tray. He would do a thing where he took a blindfold and put it on, he took a deck of cards. He says, I'm going to spread this deck of cards out. He said, they're going to form a peak. He said, then he aces the spades, it's going to be spinning around. And he said, shit, this I've got to see myself. Funny guy. He was wonderful. And his daughter is one of the heads of the Magic Castle. Oh, that's cool. I didn't know that. Sarah Valentine. What about Billy Sands? Oh my God. Well, I knew Billy when he was doing the Bilko show. Sure.

Yeah, and Phil Leeds. Oh my god. One of the funniest guys. He looked like a gnome. He's come up on this show before. Oh my god. Phil was hysterical. Yep. Yep, yep. I remember the last thing I would see him pop up on was like Ali McBeal. Larry Sanders too. I think he was Hank Kingsley's agent on the Larry Sanders show. He was like 90. And he was in Ghost? Yep. Yeah, well we talked about him with Steve Weber. He turned up on wings. Oh my god. I

got some names here. Wally Cox, Sorelle Book was on Car 54. Oh, Sorelle Book, oh my god. Remember him? Yes. Jack Gilford. Bye-bye Braverman he was saying. Gilford, oh my god. Let's see. And BS Pulley. Says, yeah, BS does not stand for Bernard Shaw. And he worked with another guy named HS Gump. Right. That's right. You're in for a treat, folks. Bullshit and horseshit. You're in for a treat, folks. Bullshit and horseshit. Now, and tell us about Boss Hogg. Saw a real book. Oh my god. The Dukes of Hazard. Oh god.

These are all guys that guest starred on Car 54. Well, I did The Dukes of Hazard. Yeah, right. That's right. I forgot that. I played a KGB agent. Well, you know, because of Sid, I wound up doing that was the week that was in London. I was doing a show at the Copa and I was doing dialectic gibberish. And I was asked, would you be interested in going to London to do, that was the week that it was.

And each week, when I wound up getting it, I did a different character. And David had to translate whatever I was doing. And no script, just... Oh, that's fun. Oh, God. In fact, at one time, he let just let me go and I was a Chinese delivery man. No MSG. Oh Lord.

What about Gene Balos? Another guy who was on Car 54. He sure was. Backdoor Benny. That's right. Backdoor Benny. I tell you, you go to IMDb and you look up Car 54 and you look at that, you look at the extended cast, everybody that guest starred on that show, it'll blow your mind.

Oh, Jan Murray. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Jan Murray, sure. And Rocky Graziano. Oh, I just wrote a thing about Rocky. Oh my God. And Jake LaMotta.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, because Huyken liked Prize Fighters, didn't he? He loved Prizefighters. In fact, Jake, we ran into Jake at Larry Storch's. We saw Larry in New York and Jake was there. So to see him and Rocky, Rocky played a hairdresser. That's right. Sherry Lewis was his girlfriend. Like Mr. Pierre or something. Very good. That was a hysterical episode because Rocky Graziano is this very gentle, like a feminine hairdresser. Exactly, but he wants to be a fighter. So we got Sugar Ray Robinson. To dress as this old man

who would like to get in the ring just to work out a little bit to dissuade Rocky to let him know you're not a fighter. And Sugar Ray and they just went pitter pat and sugar just went pop, hit him with two quick lefts and Rocky ad-libbed he looked right in the camera and said Well, why does that feel so familiar? Or sugar a had knocked the hell out of sure when they fought and I remember on the show he's like frustrated because he can't fight and

And he starts taking out on the women at the beauty parlor. I remember that. He's pulling on the hair. I remember one woman says oh Pierre when will I be done and he goes, you're done now you old bag. Was there going to be a spin off Hank, the schnauzers? We were supposed to. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Marilyn Ray.

That was writing it and uh. It was Charlotte Ray. Charlotte Ray. Yeah. I get, I always get those two names mixed up. Yeah. I did that to her when she was on the show. I called her by the wrong name.

Now you've come full circle. But what happened to the spinoff? Was it because Nat passed away so young? Yes. Yeah. He was? Yes. No, I heard Nat Heiken at one point wanted to write a movie for the Mocks brothers. Oh god that would have been wonderful. Wow, I didn't, that's interesting. I don't think you've said that on the show. And I think it was right around that point when the Marx Brothers were making terrible movies like Out West

And and I don't know I guess the studio felt hey, we've got our writers Why do we need him? He could have written something great could have been a resurgence. Oh my god yeah, he was in fact did a, there was a to do, there was a big party going on for the IATSE. And so we were invited and Nat wrote a sketch for us to do. And he knocked it off in like a couple of minutes. And it was the funniest piece of We screamed every time we got back on the set

What Nat was able to do in a couple of minutes? Yeah, he really was quite brilliant wasn't he sure was yeah Take us out Hank with it with a Joey Ross story. Oh, oh, it's great. Where do you want to go? No, I just wanted to say I just thought of another one. Okay that you were featured in on car 54 where uh Joey Ross brings up but Fred Gwyn he goes hey, you know what tomorrow is don't you and And Fred Gwyn doesn't want to act like he doesn't, so he goes, well, of course I know. And then it keeps getting building.

Each one goes to the other one saying, hey, you of course know what tomorrow is. And each one goes, well, of course I know that. And they're changing the calendar. We also did that on what happened to Thursday. Because I remember Al Lewis goes to you and he goes, well, you of course know what tomorrow is and you go, rolled around again. Boy, they really hold up, don't they? Oh, they're great. They're really great. They're gems and there aren't that many episodes

No, we did the total of 60. Yeah, and I heard that their gems one time They asked Nat Heiken is he gonna have another season of car 54 and he said yeah But it won't have Joey Lewis. Joey Ross. Joey Ross! I'm getting everyone's name fucked up! Hey, hang tight. Is there a story about Joey Ross and the commissary? Oh, God, yes. Were you guys on the honor system?

Yes. We had just gotten our tailor-made uniforms, and boy, we were so proud of them. And they've had this honest system cafeteria. So you'd eat and then you'd walk over to the cashier and you'd say, well, I had the scrambled eggs and I had a piece of bacon and a thing and a coffee. He said, no, that's $2.85. So we did that. We just told him what we had.

Joey walked over to the cashier, and the cashier said, OK, hold on. You had the oatmeal, and you had the scrambled eggs because it was all on his clothes. I love that one. And it was not like in the next day got a big bed sheet and wrapped Joe in this sheet. Did he used to do the ooh-ooh because he was hesitating? Yeah, he couldn't remember his lines.

That's great. Curly, Curly of the Three Stooges did this. Oh, he would do that spinning around on the floor. And he'd do, Waa, waa, waa. Cause he couldn't remember the lines. So Joey did that, ooh, ooh, ooh. And we would,

Ooh, ooh, ooh. There were two of them that did ooh, ooh. There was him and Hunts Hall from the Bowery. Oh God. Oh God. Yeah. And I knew Hunts. Oh my.

Oh, how, what was Hunts Hall like? He was a gambler. And what he was doing, when he was doing a show, he would always run over to get an advance on his pay. And he'd run to the track, lose it all. Now I heard a Joey Ross story. Uh oh. Gird your loins, Hank.

The heads of like Johnson and Johnson who were like the sponsors. Yes, I was there. Oh, you tell the story. Procter and Gamble were our sponsors. Big sponsors. Christmas they sent us cases of lava soap to show us how much they loved our show. Now the clients come in to meet the stars of God. We're in our dressing rooms. How do you do? This is Hank Garrett.

He plays Nicholson and I stand up. Hello, how are you? Yes, and the women, you know, very proper with the little white gloves and Fred Gwynn. Hello, Mr. Gwynn. All right, let's go see Joey Ross. I hear, I hear. People are running like the place is on fire. What happened? They walked in as Joey was masturbating. It's a true story.

Gilbert's so happy right now. They said, we're sorry to interfere, but no, you don't have to shake our hands. Oh, that's wonderful. He had a pension for ladies of the evening, did he not? Oh, he kept bringing them in and saying he wanted the company to pay for them as dialogue directors. That's great. Fantastic. We should wrap it up.

Get this man back to his life. Can we all sing the theme, the Car 54? Sure. We can give it up. Get this man back to his life. Now, can we all sing the theme? The Car 54? Sure. We can give it a shot. Okay. One, two, three. There's a holdup in the Bronx, Brooklyn's broken out in fight. There's a traffic jam in Harlem that's backed up to Jackson Heights. There's a scout who showed a child who shaves to an idle wild.

Carl 54, where are you? Oh Hank, you made our night. I want to thank you guys, I haven't had this kind of fun in such a long time. Oh thank you Hank. So this has been Gilbert Godfrey's Amazing Colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre and we've been talking to the a Jewish wrestler, the Missouri Farm Boy, who's a comedian singer, a karate expert, and wrestler, and a genuine badass. Yes he is. Your career ran the gamut, Hank.

Hank Garrett, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you guys so much. Thank you Hank, we'll see you again. Stay well. Bye bye.