Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Henry Gross and Roger Cook Encore

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

GGACP celebrates the birthday of Brooklyn-born songwriter-recording artist Henry Gross (“Shannon”) with this ENCORE of a 2021 interview with Henry and British-born singer-songwriter Roger Cook (“Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress”). In this episode, Henry and Roger share tales from their seven decades in the music business and talk about playing mob-owned joints, forming doo-wop groups, opening for the Beatles (and Benny Hill!), being inspired by Jimi Hendrix and hearing their songs on the radio for the first time. Also, Casey Kasem blows his cool, George Martin teams with Peter Sellers, Henry becomes the youngest artist to perform at Woodstock and Roger writes a jingle that becomes a worldwide sensation. PLUS: Sha Na Na! “I Was Kaiser Bill’s Batman”! The comedy of Jackie Vernon! Steve Coogan sends up Blue Mink! And Henry and Roger remember the late, great John Prine! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, this is Gilbert Godfrey and this is Gilbert Godfrey's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And tonight we are pleased to have two terrific guests. One of them is Roger Cook, who is a musician, singer, producer, former pantomime artist, and one of pop and country music's most prolific and successful songwriters. Writing or co-writing memorable hit songs including You've Got Your Troubles, Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling, Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress, My Baby Gotcha troubles. Here comes that rainy day feeling. Long, cool woman in a black dress. My baby loves lovin'. And the Coca-Cola jingle turned into

an international sensation. I'd like to teach the world to sing. His songs have been covered by the likes of Johnny Cash, Dusty Springfield, Bing Crosby, Fett Midler, Neil Diamond, Petula Clark, the Drifters, Gene Pitney and his late great friend John Prime. In the mid- mid 1970s, he relocated to Nashville and enjoyed a second career as a writer of country hits, including Don Williams, I Believe in You, and Crystal Gales, Talking in Your Sleep,

and George Straits, night at a time, among others. He's a member of the National Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Country Music Hall of Fame and the first Englishman to be inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame. And our other guest, Henry Gross, is a Jew. That's all that matters to me. I mean, I guess you wrote or sang whatever. Yeah, that's right. But you're a Jew. That's all I can say to me. I mean, I guess you wrote or sang whatever. I don't, but here at you. That's right.

Does anybody need more coffee? Henry Gross is a musician, singer, songwriter, record producer, occasional actor, and one of the funniest men in rock and roll. A founding member of the doo-wop group Sha Na Na. He played the New York World's Fair and the Catskills while still a teen and he was also the youngest person to perform at Woodstock. He's open for acts like Billy Joel, Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac, the Beach Boys, and collaborated with everyone from Deon to Jim Croce to Chaka Khan, and written songs for Judy Collins,

Mary Travers, Southside Johnny, Ronnie Miltzap, and Cyndi Lauper. In 1976 he released the single Shannon, a song we've discussed on this podcast a number of times, which quickly went gold in the US and became a worldwide hit, reaching number six on the US Billboard Hot 100 and number five on the Cashbox Top 100. number five on the cash box top 100 and in 2006 he toured with a terrific one-man theatrical production entitled One Hit Wanderer a journey through the highlights and funniest moments of his life in and out of the showbiz business.

The showbiz business. Frank and I, I don't care. We get the general idea. We get the idea. A journey through the highlights and funniest moments of his life in and out of the entertainment business. Frank and I are excited to welcome to the show the pride of Bristol and Brooklyn, Roger Cook and Henry Gross. Wow. Wow

Introductions these introductions double as obituaries Welcome boys Well, here we are. We made it through the intro. Yeah, well I'd lift off at NASA Now before anything else way before United Colors of Bennington, there was I'd like to teach the world to sing or we'd like to teach the world to sing. And I, okay. Roger, how much fucking money did you make off that? Well, it supported three divorces. I made a shitload of money, but it's all gone. Roger, I didn't know Gilbert was going to start there, but it's an interesting place to start.

A song that began life as a jingle and something that you had problems with for years, you hated it for a while. Well, yes, in a way, I wrote a jingle. It was a 28-second jingle with my friend Roger Greenaway, and a 58-second jingle as well. And that Greenaway, you know, and a 58 second jingle as well. And that was that we got paid and it was done for.

I didn't expect it to become a record and go in the charts, you know. It was a little lightweight for that. But I've changed my mind. I've kind of liked, I've learned to like the song because so many people know it. Old people know it very well. And young kids learn they sing it in school so what's the hate anymore and like I said I spent the money.

That is one of those songs that everybody grew up on. Threw up on did you say? Well we should we should explain that Roger he was called in with his Did you say so? You don't grew up on it. Well we should explain that Roger, he was called in with his partner, he wrote it as a jingle, and then for years it followed him around. You said you had disdain for being introduced as Roger Cook, the man who taught the world to sing. Yeah, for God's sake, yeah. Like I said, I really didn't like the song

that much at all for a long, long time. But I like it now, and they even sing it in church in some place in Tennessee. They sing the words of amazing grace to that tune, and it works perfectly, so. That's incredible. How pleasantly surprised were you to see it turn up in the final episode of Mad Men?

Now, that was something. That was something. I was very pleased. Also I knew there was a little check, you know, coming. So never fails to amaze me. But yeah, I've learned to love that song. I just have. And I always end my act with, I do sing here now and again. I haven't sung much in 18 months, of course, but when I go out and sing I usually do a medley of old hits from the 60s and 70s and M would teach the world to sing and it always brings the crowd out the crowd the crowd the crowd up and they clap and They sing along and it's it's kind of I've to like it. Learn to love it. Yeah. Yeah.

Henry, before we turned the mics on, you were saying that you, and we discussed this on the phone, you're from Brooklyn, you're one of us, you're a lifelong Gilbert fan. I am. Go ahead. You know, I grew up in Brooklyn. You know, if you grew up there, it was a rather interesting grow up, you know. It was, my neighborhood was a tough neighborhood. And I learned very quickly that I didn't fit in with my ethnic group was disliked.

I mean, it was interesting. Cause when I moved to Nashville, I mean, Roger and I both moved to Nashville. You know, I moved in 1986. And, you know, part of the reason was the city was changing. You know, it was getting really crazy. I was in front of the Orange Julius on Sixth Avenue, and a bunch of guys came up to me and said,

yo, get off the phone. You know, there was a payphone on the corner, and I not only got off the phone, I left the city. You know, I said, everything, you can have everything here you know can have you can have the pogroms you can have whatever you're doing but uh... it was interesting i had an uh... it was a so i went to nashville and was great people told me would be crazy down there that you know that i wouldn't have a harder time down there

and you know they said that you know what are you going to nashville for you know they said to you know jews of urban tennessee but it but it was but but it wasn't that it wasn't that it wasn't you know what are you going to Nashville for you know they said to you know Jews of urban Tennessee but it but it wasn't but it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't you know I you know it's come on Roger I mean I was nervous you know I thought piece someone burn a cross on my lawn and I moved there and it was no problem at all I found out that cross burning had been you know banned you know it was because of the second-hand smoke but okay you know it was okay I mean it wasn't terrible but you know it was a good anyway Nashville was wonderful in 1986

was like Mayberry Brooklyn was you know yeah I think I always remember what Larry David said you know he was always advised you know he was always counseled to exercise in Brooklyn because everybody's told you hey take a hike you know it was that's it was always like that. What part of Brooklyn are you from Henry? I was from Flatbush my father had a little drug store on Rutland Road and Nostrand Avenue. You could actually walk to Abbots Field from there. You know that neighborhood Gil.

Yes and it's so funny, because to this day, I can't get used to people talking about baseball and mentioning Ebbets Field. To me, it was always like this crappy, the crappy projects for Ebbets Fields. That's right. You're a younger man. Well, you know, my dad only took me to one game there in 1957 and it

was it was fantastic because Gil Hodges lived, actually where I grew up, Gil Hodges lived around the around the corner and two blocks back and he used to pass by the stoop where I sat practicing guitar and on his way to the church on the corner and he would always sit down and ask me to play him whatever I was working on. So you know he practiced a lot because he didn't want to have nothing for Gil Hodges. And so the game that I went to with my dad, as it turned out, Gil Hodges actually hit a home run on the bottom of the ninth to win the game, which was pretty... Which turns up as an important component in your one-man show.

Yeah. Well, it kind of sent a piece of... It's beautiful. Years ago when I was struggling for anything, I used to work at this club. Not work because I got no money, but there was a club in Brooklyn called Gil Hodges Grand Slam Lounge. Was that in the bowling alley, the Gil Hodges Lanes? Was that in there, part of that? Don't know. I remember it was a shitty club. Yeah. It was Brooklyn. You know, I grew up playing all these clubs.

In Brooklyn, they were all mob joints. And we had amazing experience in these places. I mean, I remember a place. Do you remember, Gil, if you worked in Brooklyn was there a place called the Album All Towers on top of the Album All Theater? They used to have all different kinds of entertainment on many floors of this tower. They had ballroom dancing, the day out at the out at bingo and then they had a rock and roll club was called Crazy Larry's Discotheque. I love it. Crazy Larry had arms the size of your legs, and he had a little Johnny Jelly Bean hat on top.

And we played there a lot, and they used to give us, we'd get 10 bucks a man for playing four or five hours. And I remember at the end of one gig, one of the guys who was a friend of ours decided they'd do us a favor and lift the microphone from Crazy Larry. So we're unpacking and we're out there, we're waiting a half an hour and the keyboard player with his Farfisa organ hasn't come out yet. So we went back in and we said, what's going on? And they said, you stole the microphone. And I said, I didn't take it. What are you talking about? I didn't take your microphone. He says that's all right He says he says not you know you stole the microphone. We want it back

So I said so what are you gonna? Do you're not gonna let us take the organ out because we're sitting in the middle of the room everything is gone He says you're not gonna. Let us take the organ out. He says no you could take the organ We'll keep this guy here that plays it till you bring back the fucking mic plays it till you bring back the fucking mic. It's a true story and I have to tell you, we found, the guy who took it found the mic. I love it. I love it.

That he did it. Henry, what's that? Go ahead, Gil. Go ahead, Gil. How did the two of you meet? Oh, he came to town and I don't know where we met Henry. Well, I'll tell you what, you're probably introduced. That's it. We had our best buddy, our mutual best buddy, Ralph Murphy,

who is a brilliant songwriter, producer, was Roger's partner in a company called Pickleic Music. And I went to see Roger and Ralph rather. I went to see Ralph and I fell in love with Ralph. I went over. you have to understand. Roger, as you get into talking to Roger, you'll see that he's really an amazing character. Pickleick was unusual, because I came from New York,

and when you went to see publishers in New York, you know, it was very, everybody had the suits with the pin under the tie, you know, the whole thing was like you were talking to the guy who owned the Mets. It was, you know, everybody, everything was very staunch. When you went to Nashville, all the people running the companies had guitars sitting around and they were songwriters too, and they were producers and they were artists. Like Roger was in how many groups, you had a band

that had more cuts hits than the Beatles on the BBC when they were out, right? Blue Minck. had more cuts hits than the Beatles on the BBC when they were out, right? Blue Mink. We had a fair run, yes, we did. And then he did a thing with Roger Greenway, David and Jonathan. I mean, Roger was an artist and great one. And so Ralph Murphy produced April Wine in Canada.

He did a lot of stuff. So I showed up 10 o'clock to write a song with Roger, Ralph rather, he says, come over, write a song. So I get there 10 o'clock in the morning and I wake up a mutual friend of ours, John Earl, who is in a sleeping bag on the floor in Ralph's office. And I wake him up and he was living there. I said, I'm sorry, I was here to write a song.

He says, no, no, and he got up and he left. And then Ralph came in, and I wasn't there 10 minutes, and he had a little refrigerator behind the desk. And we started having Heineken's at 10 in the morning. And we wrote a good song in about an hour and then we went out to drink something else. And I thought, I love this place. And so I wound up signing with Roger and Ralph and I met Roger through Ralph Murphy. It's kind of funny, Henry, you told me on the phone you moved to Nashville and fell in with a bunch of Brits. Yeah, it's true. Because we had a, see the country, I went to Nashville because New York, really the

reason I left New York was you couldn't get records recorded. The only thing that was being recorded was R&B. And I'm a rock and roller, I wasn't going to get anything cut. So I went to Nashville, I thought country's closer to rock and roll, which it is. And so I went down there and it was, you know, really it was great. You can't imagine Nashville in 1986. It was just, it was like a little paradise and it was like a, you know, when Dylan came to New York, he went to Greenwich Village and you could get a room for $50 on Bleecker Street.

You know, you get a little hole in the wall to hang your hat. When I left for Nashville, it was either get a one-bedroom on 35th Street and breathe a tunnel soot, or go down to Tennessee and get a house with a yard and a pool. It was great, it was the same price.

So that was part of it, but really, it was like the village was when Dylan came, because there were millions of songwriters, everybody that you talk to, if you said, what do you do in New York, you say, what do you do? And the guy would say, you'd say, I'm a songwriter. He'd go, yeah, but what do you do? You know, they didn't get it.

But in Nashville, they would say, oh, you need a loan for a bus? Come to our bank. Whatever. You know, I couldn't believe it. It was paradise. And then I met Roger. And then you met me. Roger, what was your initial impression of Henry, Roger?

Loudmouth. I wonder where you got that. Yeah. I thought of myself as there's no beginning to this man's genius. I wonder where you got that. I thought of myself as there's no beginning to this man's genius. Actually, he did. He wore me out the first time I got together when we were in a restaurant somewhere. I had a quarter that wanted to make a phone call and he kept saying, give me that quarter. I need that quarter.

I said, Henry, I need to make a phone call and he kept saying, give me that quarter, I need that quarter. I said, Henry, I need to make a phone call, give me that quarter. I thought, I don't like this man. That's not true. I knew you'd love him. That's called poetic license. We told, before we were doing a sound check and our engineer John Murray was telling Henry

to put his phone on something soft. And what did say Roger? I said put your dick out there. So obviously they have that kind of relationship. Yes. And Frank told me he was talking to you Roger and and you said is Gilbert gonna ask me about my dick Did I say that you did It's Roger and Milton Berle yin and yang Roger Roger this is a segue. Did you write a little something about that subject that you can play on the uke that you're holding?

I wrote a song about an old friend, but actually he's my age. And I did write a song about a friend like that, about watching someone kind of slip away into the twilight, lose their get up and go. And I can play a little if you like. Would you mind? No. Sliding, no, what was it now? Let me think.

Oh yeah. I miss my stiffy. They used to rise in a jiffy. These days it's iffy if he rises at all. That one-eyed loner, that old sperm donor, he don't donate much anymore. He used to stand up and watch me shave in the morning. Now he hangs his head and stares at the bathroom floor. He used to pop in and say hello without a warning. Now he hesitates at the door. I miss my porker. That old moonlight stalker, he once was a corker. Now he's frail and quite small.

Anyway, there you go. Oh, brilliant. Roger, I think that's my new favorite song. Alright then. Roger, can you cut it as a single? Which I could. Beautiful. I'd be up for that.

That sets a nice tone for the show. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Col colossal podcast after this. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz.

Switch today. Conditions apply, details at fizz.ca. Henry, I want you to tell Gilbert about the club in Brooklyn. What you later learned about the clubs, some of the clubs in Brooklyn, like the 19th hole when you were reading Joe Bonanno's book. Yeah, well, I played this club a bunch of times and it was a typical club that you would, it was actually, it was a typical kind of club that you'd play at that time.

It was a mob club and they had a huge picture of Frank Sinatra behind the cash register and underneath it was a much, much smaller one of the Pope. And then we would play there, you know, we would play there on like weekends and so, you know, they really liked us, you know, when we played on the weekends and sometimes they loved us so much they'd ask us to play on a weekday night, a school night. So we'd play from like seven to 11 and the joint was empty. There was just a couple of tables in the, you know, a couple of booths in the back with some guys wearing band lawn shirts sitting around talking. And every time we took a

break they'd come up and tell me, you're a great singer. They said we're gonna, we're gonna get you lots of work. We got joints all over town and I'd say it's great, you know. And so, you know, they encouraged me and I'd say, it's great. And so they encouraged me. And so I went into show business. That's something I could do. But at the end of the night, we were making 10 bucks for the whole night. Well, I kind of cut to the story.

We'd stop at 11 o'clock and there was this guy called Rocco. One of the guys that when he stands in the doorway, no light gets in. And he'd say he'd say You just keep on playing so we you know I'd say come on Rocco. I'm screaming four hours I you know I can't sing anymore go Just keep on playing I'd say come on Rocco. We got to be in school in the morning, and he'd say

And I said when they start talking like dolphins you know you keep on playing so we played till 3 4 in the morning And at the end of the night, they give us each $50 Now my father was working, you know had it working for my grandfather in the drugstore He'd make 33 the register sometimes said $35 at the end of the day. And so I'm getting $50 I come home. My father says, what are you robbing gas stations? I don't want this money in my house. I says, no, Pop, they gave it to me in a club. Well, anyway, years later, I'm reading a book, Honor Day Father by Joe Bonanno,

and in the book he talks about a club he owned in Brooklyn, the same name club, and he says that he would hire in quotes the crummiest, loudest rock band he could find so the FBI couldn't bug him. You see, if they told me the truth, today be Dr. Gross, but no. So you know, now it's all of this. But that's a true story.

Go ahead, Roger. I got nothing to say. Oh, okay. You leaned in very excitedly. Henry, tell Gil about playing some of those places in the Catskills and some of the comics you saw. Oh, well, this all started out for me when I saw, I went up to the Catskills to play the Estor Manor, I don't know if you ever heard of that,

it was right next to Monticello Raceway. One of the guys in my first band when I was 13 years, just turned 14, one of his fathers was a gym teacher so they hired him at the hotel to do the athletic thing for the people and the kids in the summer so he got us the job as the band. So we're playing in this hotel and it was amazing. You know, I'm always, I was always telling jokes, you know, I was

because my father loved to laugh and he had a wicked sense of humor. My father really had a dark sense of humor. Like his father died when my parents were on the honeymoon and so we'd go visit the, and we would pass these, you know, the same place we'd park, we'd walk across cemetery, we'd see these beautiful limestone mausoleum buildings. And my father never failed to point to those buildings and say to me, those guys really know how to live. But, so, you know, we went up to the Catskills

and so, you know, I played and I was tellingkills, and so, you know, I played, and I was telling jokes, and this guy says to me, says, you, kid with the big mouth, he says, you want to see how it's really done? He says, come see Billy Eckstein's show tonight. So I go to some other hotel, they take us there, and we go, Billy Eckstein? Well, the comic didn't show up.

So he says to me, you with the big mouth, you think you're so funny, go out there, go out there and do five minutes, you know, 10 minutes, whatever it was. I said, no problem. So I went out, I'm telling every joke I can think of. And I wouldn't say I bombed. They didn't know I was on. They were too busy eating. You see, the food was included. There were people eating five steaks. You know, I mean, I can't describe these places if you didn't grow up in them. You know how they keep an ambulance on the 50 yard line at a football game? They had them outside the dining rooms

because these people would eat so much, they never exercised in their lives and they did every exercise because it was included. And then they ate so much, they would, literally some of them would drop dead and then when they were done eating They ordered this special dessert. I told you about Frank that they only had in the Catskill Mountains Gilda Did you ever have a filleted Danish? Do you know what a filleted Danish is?

It's a special dessert because after they ate five steaks and 45 lemon meringue pies They would say to the waiter give give me a filet to Danish. And a filet to Danish is a Danish filet. Now, only people that were in those joints could possibly know that. But anyway, so I went out and opened this thing for 10 minutes. And I bombed so bad, finally a little woman looked up to me and said, it's all right, you're a nice boy. You don't have to be funny for us.

I was 14 years old, I was impotent for a month. You know, it was unbelievable. And who were some of the people you watched up there? Everybody was up there. I mean, like, you know, Myron Cohen. Oh, I love Myron Cohen. Myron Cohen walked. I mean, you know, you did Myron Cohen. Oh, I love Myron Cohen. Myron Cohen walked, I was, you know, Bobby Columby produced? Roger? Yeah.

We'll call you in a minute. So, so, so, so, so, you know, Hi, I had a nap. Bobby Columby, Bobby Columby was a drummer from Blood, Sweat and Tears. He had, he was on TV. He manages a lot of people. He's a very talented man and produced Michael Jackson records. Anyway, Bobby had a studio in New City and we were having dinner in a restaurant

with the engineer that was working on the album. We were doing the late Ed Michelle who engineered the Eagles records. Well, anyway, so we're sitting there and I say to Bobby, that's Myron Cohen at the table back there. And Bobby takes a look and says, yeah, it's Myron Cohen. So anyway, we're eating and I get up, I go to the bathroom, when I come back,

I'm sitting, we're finishing our meal and Myron Cohen walks by with his party. And he walks by the table and he goes, Henry Gross, my favorite singer. That's unbelievable. Bobby, Bobby put him up, you know, he killed me. I mean, but it made my life, you know, it favorite singer. That's unbelievable. Bobby put him up, you know, he killed me. But it made my life, you know, it was great. Gilbert, Jackie Vernon is one of Henry's favorites.

Give him a little bit of your Jackie Vernon. It was only because you do the best Jackie Vernon in the world, but Jackie told one joke in a tonight show that almost killed my father. And the joke was, he said, and you could do it better than me But he said I gave her the best years of my life and ten dollars. I Mean it hit my father hard I Remember Jackie Vernon used to he would go on stage with a clicker Oh And he go here are some slides from my vacation Here we are being led around the quicksand

here we are from the waste stop here's just a bunch of ropes and hats and things yeah henry's enjoying this it. Roger, speaking of comedians, one of your groups, was it the Kestrels that played behind Benny Hill? Benny Hill, yeah. It was very funny to play behind Benny Hill. It was hard to sing without dissolving in the laughter. That's the truth of it. Benny Hill was a funny man to work with.

But yeah, we signed behind a lot of people, you know, he also told me, go ahead. Yeah. Anyway. So I've got to tell you something about Henry when Henry, Henry thought he was going to be a comedian when he was young, you know, and they asked him at school, what are you going to be when you grow up? And he said, I'm going to be a comedian.

And everybody laughed. They're not laughing now. He told me something funny. He said, you see that watch? He said, my grandfather sold me that watch on his deathbed. Love it. That's a lovely line. It's probably an old one. It's an old one. Listen. And Roger, it's odd to, you know, you're from England and the way you speak and everything, how do you explain

your great success in country western music? I have no idea. I really have no idea. I moved to Nashville in 75. I actually came up for a week from L.A. just to have a look at the place. And I stayed 47 years, you know. I fell in love with the people there. And I had my ear to the ground. I could hear the language that was going on. And what I had to learn how to do was leave out

what wasn't going to be country. Leave out all my little English bits, all the bits I grew up with writing, you know. And I find that by writing in more plain language, if you like, I was more acceptable to the country crowd. And I mean, my first hit there was a thing called Talking in Your sleep with Crystal Gale. Sure, and it was a pop song But the thing about it the lyric was kind of country So I was able to get away with it. Anyway, there you go. That started my career in Nashville, which was a Wonderful thing tell them the lyric you had before you came to Nashville when they knew in England Then I asked you what you were going to do in Nashville.

Oh, you mean my original idea of the country? Yes, you'll love this. When I go to a grave on a Sunday, even the flowers cry. I mean, that had to get you, didn't it? Never did finish that fucking song, though. I had to get you didn't you? Fucking song Roger tell us about your short period doing pantomime before Before music came calling as a just before I joined Roger Greenaway and the cash was right

I've been out of work for a couple of years, group had folded, I was with a do-op group. And I just thought, well, I'll start taking some kind of acting jobs where I can sing as well. And I did a couple of pantomimes, which are things that go on for about three months at a time in England, usually over the Christmas period. time in England, usually over the Christmas period. And it's a fun show. This was a show called Robin Hood that I did. And I did it in both Coventry and Cardiff. And it was lucky for me that Roger Greenway found me in 1963 and said, Hey, one of the boys has dropped out of the Kessels, you want to join us? And I joined the group and we went on tour we were opening for people like hermits hermits

and while we're on tour we wrote our very first song to get in you got your job as I got mine. So you wrote them on ukuleles that's a long way from every start of the pantomime but yes we wrote on ukulele hell of a journey what did you tell me on the phone that the Kestrel's taught the Beatles how to bow properly which they actually did. The Beatles were very impressed because I'm the cash was used to open for the Beatles while and

the cash to the Beatles were very impressed with the way that the cash was went up and down so well so uniformly and Roger greenway my little buddy taught them how to do it it was like a one two three countdown one two three count up just don't do it when you're drunk that was it that's great here's the question i like to ask whenever there's a songwriter on a songwriter on. Can you maybe even perform it? What you think is the worst piece of shit either one of you ever wrote? Where you go, Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed by that.

Oh, go ahead, Roger. You got more to choose from. I can't sing it. Is this a family show? No, Certainly not. I can't sing the worst piece of shit because I divorced it from my mind years ago. But the word, there was so much shit you wouldn't believe. You can write 5,000 songs, which I have. 5,000 songs? 5,000 of them are gonna be shit. Wow.

A man has written 5,000 songs. Henry, what about you? I wrote a song, I don't know how to play it, but I remember I brought it over to John McClain who I record with who's sitting right here and I had played it for my wife and she said, if you pay money to record that, it's going to be bad. And so I went in and the song was called, you ready? Bailers Out of Jail, B-E-L-A apostrophe S out of jail. I thought it was funny. I see you're getting this, I'm getting the same- Like Bailer Lugosi.

Exactly, Bailers Out of Jail. Nobody, it was the worst thing and I spent quite a bit of time perfecting that garbage and we recorded it for several days and then everyone got really mad. This is a link with you guys is the way you were introduced to rock and roll and how it changed your life. Roger, you said, you know, hearing Little Richard, hearing American music, Little Richard and Elvis and specifically Bill Haley and the Comets turned your whole head around.

Well, yeah, up until then, you've got to imagine the early 50s actually were awful. There were people in England covering Perry Como and covering Guy Mitchell and Marlowe's Day and that, and it was just so bloody bad. The music in the 40s was great. The early 50s was awful. It sucked. And then I hear what Bobba Lula, a lot bamboo 1956. And I thought something just changed. Something's changed forever. Then I heard Elvis, of course, the Sun Records, and Bill Haley, I gotta tell you,

Bill Haley was a big star in 1956. Rock around the clock, just turned the world around. And you thought finally this is our generation's music, music that doesn't belong to our parents. I thought it belonged to me at least, yes. My dad heard Little Richard, he said, that's not music, son. I said said no, that is great isn't it? He said no, no he was a Chopin fanatic. He loved Chopin so he wasn't gonna like Little Richard you know. One thing we've talked about on this show a few times is that there were you know when the English invasion started, it's like the American acts were forgotten about. America turned its back on them, but the people in the English invasion, like the older groups like the Beatles and the Stones, weren't like thrilled to meet their heroes

here. Oh yeah, absolutely, and they were trying to sound like them. They were trying to write songs like them, but being English, you had this hybrid song, hybrid kind of performance come out. And that was what was so fresh, I guess, at the time. Well, we were thrilled to meet people like Duane Eddy, you know, the Everdeen Brothers.

I'll bet. Well, we had Neil Siddaca here, and he's one of the people, like a lot of the Brill Building writers that Gilbert's talking about, but Neil was very heartened years later to find out that McCartney liked his music. Oh, we all did. And they were listening to Carole King and Neil Sadaka and people like that. Oh, yeah, they were great. They were great. The Brill Building had all these wonderful writers.

Elton John teamed up with Neil Sidduck and said, I want to make you a big star again. Did he really? That made Neil very happy. Roger, very early in your career, and you knew Elton because you and Tony Burroughs and other people are singing background on those early Elton albums on Tumbleweed Connection and Madman Across the Water.

I heard you in an interview say that Elton wanted to record some of your songs before his publisher told him to do his own. Yeah, there was one song particularly he really wanted to record. Of course, we were hot at the time, Roger and I, and he hadn't had a record out yet. He wanted to record of course we were hot at the time Roger and I hadn't had a record out yet he wanted to cut this song I was quite happy to have him cut it but Dick James his publisher said no you've got to record your own songs and Dick was right. The rest is history. Yeah the rest is history god damn it. Henry what about that pivotal moment for you where your mother bought you the transistor radio?

Well, yeah, I had changed everything. It did because we could in Brooklyn, you could get radio stations from other cities at night on clear nights. And I remember I used to get this station from Haywood, California. And it was a gospel show with a guy called Brother Al. You can find them on the internet. It was Brother Al from Haywood, California. And he would he was amazing. He would play all of Mahalia Jackson and James

Cleveland, all the great Thomas Dorsey songs, the great gospel songs. But his act was, he would say, send me $5 and I'll pray for you. And he would cure people from rare diseases and get them out of wheelchairs on the radio if you sent them $5. It was unbelievable. It was fantastic. But you know, but I was hearing these songs, you know they'd be singing down by the riverside and they would do all that stair stepping

like little Richard did when he would sing, you know, I got a girl that I love so and I'm ready, ready, ready, Teddy, I'm ready. You know, step down, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You know, hit all those notes down. They call it stair stepping. Well, I'm singing along with these gospel groups and my mom, who sang briefly with the Metropolitan Opera

Chorus and was a trained musician, walked by my room and heard me singing this and that was that. She said, oh, oh, he can sing. And that was so, it made her happy and it got my father off my back to be a doctor and of course at that time it was you know a very great thing to be in rock bands you know when you were 14 years old in a band with guys 18 years old who had nice cars and you know you both come from musical families which I find interesting and and and

Roger when Bing Crosby your father loved Bing Crosby, when he covered one of your songs, were you? Yeah, he did two of my songs in the end. To my father said to me, well, you can't get any bigger than that, son. Never mind that this was the eighties and Bing's career was more or less over. But yeah, I was thrilled to have a Bing Crosby right of course of course and he's saying I'm pretty damn good, the whistle good too. Henry your dad never thought what you guys were playing he

didn't think he didn't think that was music he thought you were crazy didn't get it at all when you you help form Sean enough. Well, this is a great bit, you know you everyone can relate to this that's in show business. You know, my father, I was pre-med in Brooklyn College and I was doing pretty good. And my father, and then Sean Anah happened. I was playing, you know, the whole story isn't necessary,

but the thing blew up huge with the Woodstock movie. And, you know, so when I said I'm gonna be in this group with some guys I knew from high school that were now at Columbia and these other guys. So I was at Brooklyn College and the band literally blew up. We were nationwide. And my father said, you're throwing your life away.

And then the band really blew up big, big after the movie. And at Woodstock, I had known Jimi Hendrix before we played gigs with him and things like that. And I'd met him through a mutual friend at Midwood High School, it's a whole story. But anyway, I watched Jimi play the Star Spangled Banner from a few feet away, and I thought, this guy is making music only he can make.

You know, I need to make music only I can make. I know I'm leaving the band. So I told my father I'm leaving the band. He goes, don't be a schmuck. You know, like whatever I did. You know, I was a schmuck for joining the band, and I was a schmuck for leaving the band. There was no winning with this guy.

What'd you say, Roger? I said, you're still a schmuck. Thanks for the elevation, my dear buddy. You know, and it's a true Roger. I said you still a smug Thanks for the elevation my dear buddy And Henry you know they have the classic tapes Where the mic was left on are you going there? Shannon was the song in that classic Casey Kasen. It's one of the reasons we've discussed Shannon on this show. There

have been several. I write hundreds and hundreds of songs. I make 30, 40 records and people are going to remember me because this crazy guy said How do you put a song about a dead dog right before a dedication? I mean it was unbelievable You know it's only because it's a funny and it's a funny song You know a lot of people obviously love the song and they get it their dog people cat people pet people horses they understand they love animals, and they get what I was thinking, what I was feeling when I wrote the song.

I wrote it for a dear friend of mine who's gone, Carl Wilson from the Beach Boys, and he had lost a dog, he had a dog named Shannon, and so did I, anyway. So I wrote this song, and people loved it, but a lot of people hate it. A lot of people, I don't know what they meant, they referred to it as a right wing ballad.

I'm not sure what a right wing ballad is. I don't know what that means. You mean if you love dogs, you're, you know, anyway. So it was, it's strange, because a lot of people liked it, a lot of people didn't. People, I get really, literally, I get letters every week from people that love the song. Anytime a pet dies, I'm notified on Facebook

You know people write to me they do you know it's great interesting. It's great, and I'm proud of it Oh person yeah I do benefits and things but I'm very proud of the fact that if I could have any song it would be that And people write that love it, but then it's it's 45 years later and people sometimes I'll see like there'll'll be 2,000 positive comments on YouTube. And then one guy will go, the most horrible things that you could say about anything, they say it about my song.

I mean, there was Hitler. And you're just saving this vitriol for my song about a dog that died. I mean, it's really remarkable what people, the anger they hold, like, I know I'm gonna get this guy one day, I'm gonna get him, and they get me now. I'm 70 years old and they dump the vitriol on me

for a song that was well-intentioned. You know? Well, it's a song that we love here. Well, thank you. And Henry, Henry, can we sing a little of Shannon together? Yes, we can and you know This is the thing because I know that one day and I don't know maybe it'll be tonight But you know when you write an idiotic melody like this when you're 25 years old and you know it starts

Another day as it ends, you know, and then it goes up there Shannon, you know know, and I always think one day I'm going to be out there and I'm going to go. And that's it. Nothing. There'll be nothing. There'll be nothing. So we'll. How do you still hit those notes, Hen? Very, very tight Munsing ware.

Gilbert, do you know the words? I have it in front of me. Alright, so let Henry start and then you can come in for the second stanza. Are we going to do the verse, start at the verse or what are we doing? Why don't you start and then he'll fill in and then you can each do a stanza. Well that's easy for you to say. You'll sing up to here I'm sure he'll tell her. Okay and then you'll do the Casey Kasem part.

Yeah. Okay, so it's... again. No one can even begin to tell her. Shannon is gone. I heard her. She's drifting out to sea. She always loved to swim away. Maybe she'll find an island with a shady tree. Just like the one in our backyard. Wait a minute. I'm looking at my Facebook. Now they all love it. People are apologizing for the vitriol. They're writing to me.

Finally, I like that song. I don't know how it happened. It's an incredible moment in my life. They love it now. Thank you, Gilbert. You made my millennium. I can't take it. Gilbert doing a Henry Gross impersonation.

I can die now. That was funny. Sounded good. Simply awful. I mean. Don't worry, Roger. You'll get your turn. It's the only song that you don't need a guitar to sing the chorus. You need to trust.

But just to prove the point. Shannon, he's gone, I hope, she's drifting out to sea. See it can be done. Just so I don't want to do it. Well, tell me a couple of things, Henry. One, let me get this out of the way. How does Shannon, your Irish setter, get a credit on the album as performer? Well, that will unplug me into something.

Unplug me into something, excuse me, not on release. At the end of a song called Evergreen, I brought the dog, I wanted it to sound country, so I brought the dog to the studio and I got her to bark. That's great. And the thing was she barked and it distorted. So being neurotic, I said, I'd like to do another take. And you never saw producers and engineers leave a studio quicker.

So if you hear the record it sounds like, it sounds like a guy with, you know, who's planning a hawker, but it was actually my Irish setter. Well, and people might not know that you submitted that. You sent it to Carl Wilson originally. You didn't have designs on recording it yourself. No. to Carl Wilson originally. You didn't have designs on recording it yourself. No, I wrote it for him because he got so emotional when I told him that I had it. I went for lunch to Carl Wilson's house,

and I had known him a bit, but not great. And so he invited me to his house. He was living in Coldwater Canyon in a beautiful place. And he had a great spread for lunch, but I never found out what it tasted like because his two giant husky dogs jumped up, knocked the table down, ate everything. And I said, he was so nice, he couldn't stop apologizing.

And I said, Carl, don't worry about it. I have a crazy Irish setter named Shannon. I've seen this many times. And as soon as I said it, he got real quiet and kind of a little morose. And he said he had a dog named Shannon that was actually a Samoyed that he loved very much that was hit by a car and it killed a month before.

You see, this is why Casey Kasem didn't want to do a dedication after talking to me. But anyway, I shouldn't have been a singer. I should have been an undertaker. But anyhow, so I went back to New York, I'm sitting on the couch with my Shannon, on the bed with my Shannon, and I lived in a building that had a lot of people

whose music sounded like this. Bop bop, bop bop, bop bop bop. It came through the walls, you couldn't think. You know, everybody was playing this kind of rap music stuff that was coming out then. And so somebody told me if you get a record of the environments, they made these records. Like you put it on and it's the ultimate seashore

or the Okefenokee Swamp. So I put on this record of the ultimate seashore, it was called, an environments record. And right away the room gets cooler, your mind changes and I'm playing a little guitar, I'm going. You know, and the song wrote itself. I mean, you know this as Roger,

do you think that you work hard writing songs and then you get free ones? You just sit down and they come to you and you write them down and they're almost done when you do it, right? Yeah, I know the ones, they just sit down and they come to you and you write them down and they're almost done when you do it, right? Yeah, I know the ones that just float in. Yeah, it's like I don't... They float into conscious and half an hour later you think, I just wrote a song.

Yeah. I love that. And I just... That's the answer to your question, Gilbert. Yeah. You love to ask that question. This is what I always ask songwriters. where does music and words come from? Roger?

Well, it's obviously ancient. They were obviously trying to sing tunes, you know, like 30,000 years ago, whenever. And then suddenly came up with an instrument, you know, maybe it was a ukulele or some kind of ukulele. Oh for God's sakes, tell him the truth Roger. Songs come from other people's previous hits, I mean. I mean WC Fields said a thing worth having, worth cheating for. What about you've got your troubles, Roger? You being Big Roger and Little Roger, you guys sat down and you both composed that on ukuleles?

Yeah. And how long is the process for something like that? It was the first one you wrote together. Yeah, we were waiting. This is the very first song we ever wrote together. I can't tell you what it's like to write one song, your very first song with someone and go out looking for a new car in the new house. I mean, that's what happens when you have your first hit record. And it was wonderful. Roger just had this little melody and he played it to me. He said, you want to write a song? I said,

yeah, sure. And I got my UKAD. Took us an hour and a half. And we had, it changed our lives. Of course, one song would change your life. I wrote 75 songs with this guy. And the only thing it changed was my debits. Fuck off. I see that worried look upon your face. You got your troubles, I got mine.

She's found somebody else to take your place you got your troubles I've got mine I too have lost my love today all of my dreams have flown away Dreams have flown away. Now just like you I sit and I wonder why. Do do do do. You got your troubles. Shoot I'm losing the chords here. That's enough. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Wow. Terrific. Thank you. Unbelievable. What a first song to have written with somebody. I mean, out of the blue. Yeah. The song was very emboldened and it covered two octaves.

It was a tough song to sing. And of course, we brought the counterpoint in at the end. The guy who came in saying, I never seem to you, my friend friend that I ain't got no pity. And it was different in his day and a wonderful arrangement by a friend of mine called Les Reed. He did a great horn arrangement for it and well I'm just grateful for the money. And then a famous legendary music producer heard that and came and came into your life.

Who was that? That was George Martin. He heard it and he got in touch with our publisher because he heard the demo. Thank you for this. And our publisher came to us one day and said, George Martin wants to meet you, wants you to go to his office at EMI.

So Roger and I went over and we sat down with George had a little chat for one he said I love that song of yours and I like the way you guys saying he said I like to produce that record with you. Now this is. It's George Martin 1965 the hottest producer in the world, you know. So we walked out of there floating on there. The only trouble is George was producing an album

time called rubber soul. And because we had to wait two months for him to get loose to record the song with us you got your troubles. And in that short space of time, the fortunes got hold of the song and did their recording which was a wonderful record. And they had, we had kind of bittersweet feelings about it. We were watching our song go up around the world, but thinking to ourselves,

we could have been the artists as well, you know, and it would have been a double, double win, if you like. George Martin was pretty much like the fifth Beatle Well, he was absolutely And so what what was your opinion? What was it like speaking to him and working with him? He was such a classy gent. He had a very posh accent very classy and he was involved very much with classical music He produced classical music. He'd also produced a lot of comedy music with some people called the Goons.

Oh, yes. Peter Sellers and whoever else. Harry Seacombe. Harry Seacombe. Anyway, and he'd be so when the Beatles came to him, he had an arsenal of sounds that he could produce. He could also play the piano very well. He actually learned to play on a kind of clarinet, a cor anglais. But he had so much musical experience and so much comedic experience, and he was used

to making funny sounds on tape when you only have one track or two tracks. Oh interesting. And this is what George brought to the Beatles and of course they loved it. I mean uh. Oh they were fans of the Ghosts too. They were fans of the comedy. They liked to slip off into these wacky sounds and George was right there with him and he could produce those sounds. So George was the natural, he was the fifth Beatle, no question. And you guys, you and Roger assumed these identities, David and Jonathan. And you recorded Michelle, you released Michelle.

Well, we missed out on You Got Your Troubles, and George said, he said, I'm sorry about that, and he was apologetic, he said, but there's a song, The Boys Are Gone, Rubber Soul, he said, I think sorry about that. And he was apologetic. He said, but there's a song the boys have gotten rubber sold, he said, I think could be a hit. He said, why don't you work up a verse and then if it sounds right, we'll go in the studio with it. So we did.

Roger and I worked up a verse in Michelle and we ended up with a top 10 record in the States. And well, it was wonderful. Can we hear some of Michelle? I can't play it. I can sing it, but I can't play it. That's OK. I knew there was a reason for you to be here tonight.

I just here for the laughs. You know what, Raj, you gotta tell them the story of I was Kaiser Bill's Batman. Oh, I gotta ask about Whistling Jack Smith. Oh, yeah. That is one of the weirdest songs to ever chart anywhere. You know, I came up with that little tune in 1966, and I was doing a radio show somewhere, a BBC radio show, Maida Vale.

And I played it to our, who was our plugger at the time, our professional manager, a guy called Tony Hiller. I said, what do you think of this, Tony? And I whistled it to him. And he went, that's great. I said, well, if you like it, I'll put some words to it. He said, what do you think of this, Tony? And I whistled it to him. He went, that's great. I said, well, if you like it, I'll put some words to it. He said, no. He said, there hasn't been a whistling hit in years.

He said, that sounds like a whistling hit. So it's Tony Hiller's idea to just take it in the studio and demo a whistling hit. And I called it too much bird seed, which is what we used to label on people who whistled too much. And well, I got it cut, you know, a guy called Noah Walcott cut it with Whistling Jack Smith, who was actually the orchestra

leader who could whistle. But then they decided it was a big hit and it was going up the charts. They decided to get this guy in, call him Whistling Jack Smith, and put him on the road and make some money. Make some money out of this guy. Well, they put him on the road and he practiced a lot at whistling. Well, what he didn't do was have a whistle half an hour in one lump. After about 15 minutes his chops went, he couldn't whistle. They pulled him off after two days and he never worked again his career was over and he had a hit record around the world I know I will

direct our listeners to YouTube to find I was Kaiser Bill's Batman it's it's absolutely fascinating Henry tell one of the touching stories from your show your one-man show which is which is the experience of hearing one of your songs coming out of the radio for the first time. It was, well it's always amazing. I mean, let me ask Roger, you remember the first time you heard a song, it was You Got Your Troubles? Actually, it was You Got Your Troubles.

I was on the railway station at two o'clock in the morning waiting on the train. And I heard somebody, not on the radio, I heard a porter walking up and down the other side of the platform, whistling the song. And I thought, I'm famous. Ha ha. It was a thrill to hear this guy whistling You Got Your Troubles. You know, I knew, this is before, you know,

the story about that, but I knew Shannon would be a hit because when I was mixing it, I was playing it over and over and I lived in this apartment in Queens in this apartment house in Queens and It was it was a lot of people that lived in the building that you know It was they affide the right to party like if you if you had your band I literally rehearsed bands with martial amps and drums in my one bedroom and they Never complained you could do it on it in the middle of the week at night with Marshall amps and drums in my one bedroom. And they never complained. You could do it in the middle of the week at night

and no one said anything. But if they were having a party on a Tuesday night till nine in the morning and if you said something you would have gotten cut. So I'm playing this song over and over and I get a knock on my door and it's the guy from upstairs and he speaks a little bit of English, mostly Spanish, and he says to me, that song you're playing.

And I go, oh, here it is. I said, I'll turn it down. He goes, no, no. And he says to me, that song you're playing. And I go, oh, here it is. I said, I'll turn it down. He goes, no, no. And he says, what is it? I have to have it. And I went, oh, boy. If this guy's liking it through the wind, through the walls,

without anything. But the first song that I ever heard, I had an album on ABC, Dunhill. Is that the Henry Gross album, the first one? The first one. Before the they were two named Henry Gross. I thought this is such a commercial title I'll use it twice. I had this album on ABC and I wouldn't say it was released, you know, it escaped. And it didn't go, you know, it went lead, not

gold. And you know, and pretty soon they dumped me from the label, you know, it went lead, not gold. And you know, and pretty soon they dumped me from the label, you know, and I never heard it. And I was like, I didn't know what I was gonna do with myself, I thought, will I ever get another record deal? And it's like six o'clock in the morning and I'm in the apartment, and this is the truth, in the townhouse that the guy was renting who stole the microphone.

Same guy. The same guy, A guy named Mark Hochstadt. He stole the mic and had to give it back to save our organ player. And I'm in his apartment and we're kind of pretty drunk and at six in the morning Dennis Elsis if you remember him from WNEWFM. He's still on XM and F-U-V and he's an amazing person. And Dennis played a song of mine called Morning Star on the radio. And you know, when you hear it, we had the radio on it and I heard it and I didn't recognize it right away.

Cause you're not expecting to hear your song. And about, you know, about, on that label I was, you know, you know, I was not expecting to hear it ever so but I heard it and about halfway through I'm going wait a minute that's my record so I called him up because he was alone at any W and he answered the phone and we've been friends ever since and so it but it but it knocked me out it totally I can't imagine you can't imagine New York City can you you know it's 20 we get back to the Cats Guilds again?

Oh boy. So you saw, well you saw Henny Youngman out there. Saw Henny Youngman, he used to have a safety pin with a dime under it, did you ever see that? And people would say, what's that Henny? He'd say, it's my diamond pin. Yes, he once gave me one of those. Oh!

And he had a bottle of pride and a bottle of joy, liquids, and he said, this is a picture of my pride and joy. Oh yeah, he would do that kind of shtick. But you know, I loved it. A lot of, you know. I did too. You gotta love it. I mean, it's incredible.

So you saw Myron Cohen, you saw Hanny. Did you see what? Like Jackie Gale and Corbett Monica? Jackie Mason. Mason, I know you. I know. I saw Mason many times. Yeah. He's a brilliant comic. Yeah. Yeah, that he is. He's a brilliant, no one can take it away. He's one of the great comics in the world.

I mean, he's the man that said There's no bigger schmuck in this world than a Jew with a boat You know, he said not give you he said he said, you know, you give a Gentile about he sails around the world He said I haven't seen one Jewish boat leave the harbor. He says to to it to a Gentile It's a mode of transportation to a Jew. It's a dormitory mine sleeps six mine sleeps That you know you know the guys are genius. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast But first a word from our sponsor Here's what here's a question from a fan George white as a member of blue mink Did Roger see Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge

singing Melting Pot? No, but I heard they did it. I heard they did it. Taking the piss out of it, as your people have to say. Oh, of course they would. Of course they would. Yes. Yeah, well a lot of people are taking the piss

out of that song. Henry, tell Gilbert your joke that you told me about how small your town was. Oh. Henry writes the occasional joke, Neil. I write the occasional joke and you know I wanted to get this to danger field I never did I said you know so you're playing Babylon Long Island so Babylon's a small town how small was it thank you small, the local postal worker had a shoot himself. What do you think, Gil?

Excellent. That's small. See, I actually wrote a joke for you, Gil, because I did. I wrote a joke. I wasn't going to do, but I don't care anymore because, you know, where this is going where it's going. So I wrote this. I wrote this joke. I thought, you know, you remember Woody Allen

in Bananas when he goes to see the revolutionary and he brings him a little cake with the red and white string, which I thought, you know, you always bring a gift. So I thought I'm gonna go, one of my favorite comedians ever, which is really, I mean that. And so I'm gonna be on his podcast.

I thought, see if I bring him a joke. So I wrote this joke. And there's a better punchline than the punchline now because I said what do Muslims and Jews it's timely have in common what they both love the prophet so so I'm telling it is low so I'm but it gets better so I'm talking to this guy you mentioned Peter Noon So I'm talking to his guitar player who lives on Long Island Vance Brescia, and I think I'm gonna be funny I try out the jokes. I asked him I said Vance What do Muslims and Jews have in common and without batting an eye he says genital mutilation?

Dunking dunking on my joke. I mean that's it. So there you have it. Gil, it's yours if you want it. How long were they? That profit joke is like the kind of joke you would tweet. Yes, that's excellent. It's your joke. You wrote it. It's yours. I don't care. It was my gift. Here's another question from Roger from a listener, Morty Weinberg. He said Billy West, frequent guest of this show, he wrote that he never understood the lyrics of the Hollies' Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress. There's something about the singer was German? His English wasn't that good? I don't know this.

Wait till I tell Alan that. Well, actually it was a slapback that the engineer put on there. But the lyric was a wild lyric anyway. We were drunk. We went out and had a very lush lunch. Drank a bottle of wine, a couple of brownies each, went back and we smoked a little doobie, I have to tell you we did. That's what we did in those days. And then we sat down to write a song and of course this crazy song came out about prohibition. And I do sing that song quite often in a set and people say, oh we heard the lyrics for the first time, you know? So there, yes. That's the explanation. And Roger, I'm not going to let you run from me any longer.

We have to sing Rainy Day Feeling again. Uh-oh. All right, Roger, why don't you start us off, and then Gilbert will come in on the off sections. Is Gilbert going to do to this song what he did to Shannon? What do you think? Maybe worse. I could lose a copyright here.

Which part do you want to sing, Gilbert? You better start off, Roger. You'll sing up until before the clouds appeared. Okay. And I'll do the rest. Here comes that rainy day feeling again And soon my tears will be falling like rain It always used to be a Monday

Left over memories of Sundays always spent with you Before the clouds appeared and took away my sunshine Go ahead Gil. Here comes that rainy day feeling again I'll be dreaming of your baby in vain Girl I hope been soon you're gonna find your way back to me Because if you say you'll stay the rainy days will go away Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, wait a minute. Wait a minute because he does Roger song perfectly and he does mine the way you heard it Low bar for perfect, Henry. That's how I remember it. That's how I was in there.

Rodge, give them the words. Sing Long Cool Woman with the words, because when I heard it the first time, I thought they were great. I didn't know what they were either. And you did it at the Bluebird, and I thought, that's a great lyric, and I never heard it. I thought it was very clever. Lord, okay, wait a minute. Saturday night I was downtown working for the FBI sitting in the nest of bad men whiskey bottle piling

high. Well a bootleg and booze are on the west side Full of people who are doing wrong Just about to call up D.A. man I heard somebody singing this song A pair of 45s made me open my eyes and my temperature started to rise. She was a long, cool woman in a black dress, 5'9", beautiful tall. Just one look I was a bad mess, that longcold woman had it all. You want to hear the rest of it? Yes, Max. Oh, well, I saw her heading up to the table, just a tall, walking, big black cat.

Charlie said to me, I hope you're able, boy. I'm telling you, she knows where it's at Well, and suddenly we heard the sirens Everybody started to run Jumping over walls and tables I heard somebody shooting the gun Well the DA was pumping my left hand And she was holding on to my right

I told her don't be scared you're gonna be spared I have to be forgiven if I wanna spend my living With a long cool woman in a black dress Five-nine, beautiful tall Just one look was a bad mess But lordy, lordy, long, cool woman, cool woman, cool woman had it all Had it all There you go.

Fantastic. Awesome. Henry, you're right, I think that's the first time I understood the lyrics. They're great, the lyrics great. Henry, talk about something from the One Man Show, which is how a person's life changes when they suddenly have a monster hit,

and yours changed dramatically. Suddenly you're on billboards, suddenly nobody will let you pay for a meal. Yeah well it was you know I said in the show that you know I had this you know big hit record and my life changed but I didn't you know the money from the record never really appeared but what I lacked in money I made up for in food. I mean people everywhere you know everywhere I went people dove for the check You know, it was it was unbelievable. And and so I thought if I had written my autobiography in

1976 I would have called it mine comps This is a man after your own heart. Yes. Henry, play us something from the show. Not the last song we talked about, but because we'll save that one. OK. OK, well, I don't know, from the show, OK. We'll have a little fun.

This is a little autobiographical thing. ["Girly Girl"] ["Girly Girl"] ["Girly Girl"] ["Girly Girl"] ["Girly Girl"] Everybody's telling me I'm guilty of a felony I took somebody's melody and put it in my song I admit I'm lazy and my memory might be hazy I'd never be so crazy cause there's still no right from wrong

Been high enough to see over the mountain Been high enough to see over the mountain Been high enough to fly above the rain Been down so low stole pennies from the fountain Been high enough to toss them back again Every day my honey says my jokes are not so funny I better earn some money if I want to get her love Though I know what I'm missing I'm a man on a mission Got a strong inner vision and I thank the stars above Been high enough to see over the mountain been high enough to fly above the rain

been down so low stole pennies from the fountain been high enough to toss them back again I believe it's down to fate Whatever's meant to be What I am and what I am Is good enough for me High enough to see over the mountain, been high enough to fly above the rain, been down so low, stole pennies from the fountain, been high enough to toss them back again, been high enough to feel I really made it, been high enough to throw it all away had a win in hand

That I overplayed it been high enough To know it's just a game Been high enough To know it's just a game Yeah, yeah, Henry. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You still don't have it. Hot stuff, Henry. All right, all right.

How do you guys write when you write together? What's the process? He beats me up. You know, we what do we do, Roger? We usually get together with an empty canvas and he'll start picking. He's a great picker, Henry. And out of that picking, we'll start a melodic line or something. And then up and the hook line, you know, word-wise.

And there's no set formula, is there, Henry? No, but Roger is, and this is not, you know, like one of these we love each other kind of things we do, but Roger is unusual in that so many writers in Nashville that I came across, now they're great, great writers, but a lot of guys are great at lyrics or they're great at music. Roger is one of those people that doesn't really need another writer. I think he more likes company at lunch.

He writes incredible lyrics and he comes up with great melodies. I mean, we're sitting there, you know, and he comes in whistling, you know. I will do whatever to put you back together. Somebody's gone and you've fallen apart. If you want, you got me. Nothing's gonna stop me Fixin' your broken heart You know, like this kind of stuff, it's like... Nice. Yeah, it's fabulous stuff.

I mean, I think this was your melody, Roger. Do you have to wear your beauty all over town? Can't you keep it living, saying I'm by your mom around? I'm not jealous, but it gets to me to know what's going through their minds. Well I guess 75% of the publishing on that. You guys sit around and Henry picks until you find a melody that you think is workable? No, he comes in. Not always. Sometimes I'm just strumming around the ukulele. It's just a little bit of magic.

Songwriting is magic. It really is. Just suddenly come together on something, you go, ooh, that's kind of nice, play that again, you know, and you end up with a great song. Well, we got, I got a call from Alan Pepper, was it a couple of years ago, Raj, and he called me up, he used to own the bottom line with Stanley Snodowski, they owned the bottom line, which is down in the village.

It was one of the great music nightclubs in the country, actually in the world. And so he called me up and he's living with his wife in the actor's home in New Jersey. And they wanted a theme song for the actor's home. So I called Raj because I thought we'd be perfect together to do this. And we wrote a song and if if you call the actors home today,

it's on, when you put you on hold, it's on, and people actually call, Alan tells me, and they tell me when they're gonna put the call through, they say, no, wait a minute, put me on hold, I wanna hear the rest of the song. So it's a wonderful song. And it'll be on the actors home all the time, you know, it's got a little thing, what's it go?

Tired bones, come on home. Say goodbye to being alone. Walk right in and join the family. And it goes, bet you got a story about your days of love and glory that you'd like to tell a friend. If you've been missing someone who will listen, well you've made it to the rainbow's end. Anyway, it's like that. It's a really sweet song.

I love it. And you know, it's that, and Joe Brown, who's our friend from England, who's one of the great ukulele players on the planet, sorry, Rog, but Joe is genius level, and he does, he did the, he closed the concert for George doing the greatest version that will ever be done of I'll See You In My Dreams. Heartrending. Yeah, and that's Joe, and you know, I had, was lucky to tour with him for a year and a half in England it was fantastic and all hail Joe Brown all hail Joe Brown.

He's a great. Raj what did you mean when you said the wrong lyric can ruin a melody and vice versa. What did you say that in an interview. If you're a singer and you write. I heard you say that in an interview. If you're a singer and you write, you tend to choose words and vowel sounds, et cetera, that really work, really work with the song, the melody. People will sit down sometimes to write a song, not realize that the lyric isn't that

great to sing. It just doesn't roll off the...it doesn't make the singer sound good. I see. I always try and I know Henry and I have both got this in mind. When you write a song, you want to make the singer sound good. You open his throat up on the high notes with the right vowel sounds. Perfect. You try to make the singer sound good.

I think that's a secret the songwriter did. It's passing by a lot of songwriters now. It doesn't seem to be as important. Well, Roger's a master of that, really is. We sit around this round table in the back of my house in Nashville and I'll say something sometimes he'll go oh mate you've gotten it all over me he's disgusted you know like it's not enough to just ignore it you know he has to he wipes the throw up off his shirt it's like it's a brutal thing songwriting it's kind of like UFC fighting in a way

I want to direct people Henry to your your album the one I was to the one I'm hearing things which is just a terrific record oh thank you I mean I go back you know I told Henry on the phone that I bought plug me into something on vinyl at Corvettes on Long Island there's it there's a reference how Gilbert oh yeah J Corvettes Wow in in 1976 or 70 70 when did when did plug me into something come out 77 75 75 and that but discovering your recent music I'm hearing things which has a song that you and Roger wrote on it. Terrific record and a lot of those songs show up in your in your one man show.

Here's a listener Mark Edwards Edelstein says Henry did in fact have a second hit and what we program directors used to call a mid chart classic. Called Springtime Mama. Oh yeah, that was a big record for me things that are wrong we hear some of that it was well I'll do it the original key don it all right lady, let me know that I've been lazy. Flash your smile that gets me crazy, like the full air shining moon. Like that.

I love it. I also like the moment, the clip package that opens One Hit Wanderer, we see Wolfman Jack giving you your gold record. Yeah, the Wolfman. He's my brother Henry. He was a great guy, but he used to imbibe. And I did a bunch of shows that he emceed. And he would come up on stage and sit on a chair.

While I was in the middle of a show, he'd pull up a chair and he'd get another chair and he'd play with drumsticks on the other chair in front of him. He wasn't a groover, let's put it that way. I mean, to him laying in the cut, I think was referring to a Peter Luger steak but nothing to do with the groove.

It was not happening. We've talked a lot about comedians and Gilbert here's something you didn't know about Roger. He wrote a song that was recorded by Jerry Lewis' son, by Gary Lewis and the Playboys. That's right, yeah. Greengrass. It was called Greengrass and I wrote it in my sleep one night, 1964. You wrote it in your sleep. Man makes money in his sleep.

It came to me, it came to me in my sleep. And I woke up and the song stayed on my mind because I still had a pretty virginal is that right word? Virginal mind anyway, when it came down to songs, I only had like 100 under the belt. So. So that song came to me in the next day. I got up and I sat down. I wrote the whole song out and it came to me in my sleep.

and I sat down, I wrote the whole song out and it came to me in my sleep. That's so funny because you hear that from so many songwriters that they'll get a song in their dreams. McCartney, McCartney with Yesterday, right? That's right. He said he dreamed yesterday. Scrambled eggs. Yeah, so scrambled eggs. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, go ahead, go. can you play that Gary Lewis in the Playboy song? Boy. Green grass round my window. Young leaves that the winds blow, cause it's springtime, April sunshine. And we're glad my little love and I, now that summertime is hot.

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Do you know who, who was the guy now who, the guy who arranged that actually arranged the record was um oh mad dogs and englishman who am i thinking of cocker no uh the piano leon russell leon russell leon russell thank you there you go there you go i'm good for someone he was the arranger of that record i mean when you think of, it's a very lightweight record for Leon Russell to be involved with. But I guess he was arranging in New York in those days. That's a great melody.

Gary Lewis had some great songwriters working with him. He sure did. Al Cooper wrote this Diamond Ring. Roger. Yeah, this Diamond Ring, yeah. Al Cooper, yeah. We were lucky to be following that record so we had a pretty big hit, you know, a top ten hit with Gary Lewis. So I never sing that song because it's too complicated. You sang it perfectly. Thank you very much. You did. Henry, Kevin Palmer says Palmer says Sean and I were on the same bill with The Grateful Dead a few times. Yeah, we played. I left the group early, like I said, you know, after Woodstock,

if two, three, maybe three months, four months later, whatever it was. But I did play with him at the Fillmore East. And I think that I went home at around eight in the morning. I think that I went home at around eight in the morning. They did two shows. You remember those, the Rorschach test, they called the Joshua Lights. It was looked like they threw ink on the screen. It was one of the first backdrops. It was a screen behind the stage.

And there were these big ink blots that would look, it was called the Joshua Lights. And it was, I think it was designed for the people that were particularly ready for the Grateful Dead. And it was a, they were great. I mean, they were lovely guys. I rode to the, well, that's a whole other story about getting to the Woodstock stage, but I was, in short, I was drunk with Jimi Hendrix, Beyond Belief in the morning. And then I rode to the stage in a car with Jerry Garcia. So the rest of the afternoon was a...

It's all in the one man show. Yeah, and the rest of the afternoon is, as I said, a washing machine of images. I don't know what happened. It sounds like spirits have, fair to say, occasionally played a role in songwriting. Well, you know, my mom was a musician and my dad was a pharmacist this is a match made in heaven to produce a rock

and roll right. How have you guys have you guys continue to to try to collaborate under lockdown. I mean what what's that process been haven't done it under lockdown with Roger because he refuses to write with me over the television like this, whatever we're doing here. Over Zoom. So you're waiting to get together till?

I want to smell his sweat when I write. He just likes the way I mix drinks. That's all there is to it. He makes the great Jack and Coke. I think I thought of the name of that songwriter from the English, the singer rather, Roger, from the English congregation that we were trying to think about, we were

trying to think of on the phone. Was it Brian Keith? Yes, it was actually, yeah. I mean, he brought some magic to that record. I love that song. Screaming high voice, you know. I told you, Frank knows everything. I've never heard a guy like this.

He knows every fact. I mean, it's unbelievable. I mean, you ask him how to make helium out of out of out of a cardboard box and he knows how to do it. It's incredible. I love that song softly whispering. I love you. Oh, thank you. I like your version of your, your and David and Jonathan's version of it. I like the English Congregation's version of it. Great song. Tell us about... Paul Williams, not Paul Williams, Paul, what was his name now? He did a great version of it. Oh, I know who you mean. Paul Young. Paul Young did a lovely version of it much later and he got in the charts with it, but I liked that song. I always liked it.

Terrific song. We'll urge our listeners to find it. Tell us about two guys that we lost recently. Henry, a little bit about Tommy West, one of the people in New York. Oh, thank you. That's kind of right. In your one-man show that you say took a chance on you

at an important time. Well, you know, I was banging around New York trying to get somewhere, and I signed with Cashman and Weston. They were the hottest guys going. They had Jim Croce. That was exploding. I mean, he was, he had, you don't mess around with Jim and Leroy Brown and you know. I got a name.

I got a name was actually after I think he. Oh, okay. Or at the same time as the crash. But you know, Time in a Bottle was an album cut on the second album. Nobody knew that song until afterwards. They realized how wonderful it was. And his son, AJ, is his, you know, I'm not kind of like his big brother

for the last 30 years or something, but a wonderful guy. Well, Tommy West met Jim Croce in, I think it was at Villanova in Philadelphia. And they went to school together and they were in groups together. And I think what they had had I can't remember the name of the of the group they were in that some some doo-wop group they had and then they ended up Cashman and West ended up producing Jim Croce and nobody wanted

the record but Terry Cashman and Gene Pastilli from Cashman, Pastilli and West they Terry and Gene Pastilli had written Sunday Will Never Be the Same, which was a big hit for Spanky and our gang. And so they, they, as I think as a favor, Steve Barry, the great producer of A Million Hits on ABC, Dunhill, took the Jim Croce record and they put out the first single and it blew up everywhere, you know, because nobody knows what they're listening to in this business, you know. I remember American City Suite.

Wasn't that the one? Unbelievable record. Cashman and West? And before that, they called themselves with Pistilli, before it was Cashman, Pistilli and West, they called themselves the Buchanan Brothers. And they had a big hit called Medicine Man, which is really a great record.

And so I made records with Cashman and West about four albums, and Tommy was a very musical guy. And here's something funny, Roger. You wrote, I'd like to teach the world to sing, and Tommy West sang on it in the group on the jingle. So somehow that song, I was meant to have something to do with that song. Gilbert, do you want to do a version of that? I I'd like to teach the world to sing would be Gilbert.

Is that in your repertoire? Can we hear some of I'd like to teach the world? Oh, you're torturing the guy. Go on, Rog. Go show. I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love. Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves.

I'd like to see the world for once all standing hand in hand and hear them echo through the hills for peace throughout the land. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I'd like to hold it in my arms and keep it company. It's the real thing. Coke is in the back of your mind. Coke and cola. Sorry, I had to get that in there. So. Roger. Roger. And I believe in you that that Don Williams had a hit. You had to change a line and they'll love that. What was the line?

You remember the line you had to change? I just sometimes I don't give a damn. And they don't wouldn't sing damn. There was a question text. Sometimes I wonder who I am is what he put in there No, but there was another line. There was there was another line. Yeah, it was about uh It had a perhaps a chemical reference

Um, oh yeah, yeah, this is a great rising costs are getting high. Right. And he did. But he was they put in the rising. You know, he sang the rising costs are getting by. You see, and I don't normally let people change my lyrics, but it was done. We was it was going to go to number one. So I let it go to number one. It's cheap. Cheap. Tell us. I don't know why. But because I because I like this song, Time in a Bottle.

Henry, can you perform any song time in a bottle Henry Can you perform any of time in a bottle? I don't know that song but I but but if you invite AJ his son on here. He will do it and you will think it's his dad. There you go, Gil AJ is a dear dear and a great he's one of the best keyboard players anywhere any country this he's really, and he's really fought not to be, when I met him, he had these songs like Everything Tastes Like Chicken about cannibals eating a guy in the jungle. And I said, I heard him and I thought, oh my God, it's Jim Croce again. This guy's gonna be huge. But AJ stuck to his guns and made his own career

and did his own style of music and never tried to do that, which is very respectable. And now that he's fairly well known, he goes out and he does some of his dad's tunes. And one of the more, you know, if you wanna really hear it and get a tear from it, you need to hear AJ sing. Thanks for the booking idea.

No, AJ is the wonderful. Working at the Car Wash Blues, one of my favorite... Thoroughly depressing, something mind messing. I played the guitar on that. Yeah. Roger, since Henry remembered Tommy West, tell us just one thing about your late dearly departed friend John Prine. Mine too. Oh, and yours too. Yeah. Excuse me.

We were neighbors, all of us. What can you say about John? He was just a wonderful creature. As well as being a great songwriter and a very special vocalist. He was just such a kind person, such a nice person. And God, we miss him something terrible. We went up about just a little over a week ago, we went up to Arkansas, where we fished

twice a year on for the last 40 odd years on a river called the White River. And we went up there and we took his ashes up there. Me and a couple of great guys, we threw some ashes on the river anyway, and drank a handsome Johnny, which was John's favorite drink, Schmurnoff and Diet Ginger Ale. Sorry. You know, you drink one of those that should jump by and then you

drink them all night. Anyway, so that was over yet my friend John what can I say he was just a wonderful person. But what artists yeah and it was great to go to a John prime show and hear 2000 people sing along with all the words. I'm sure. That's the kind of fans he had, you know. Yeah, we miss John.

Forgive me, Henry, I didn't know you were close to John as well. Yeah, I bought my house because Roger had a house, and it was a Super Bowl day, and I was over there with Roger and John, and John had something that he had brought back from Chicago, and we were all completely gone. So I walked around the corner and bought a house. It's a true story, didn't it? That's it, I walked around, and I came back,

I said, I just bought a house. And yeah. We were neighbors. Yeah. Yeah, a great artist and a great legacy. Unbelievable, and what a guy, I had Thanksgiving and Christmas at his house for years, and he was an amazing guy because as successful as he was, he still, I think, thought of himself

as a mailman who wrote songs. You know, he was so humble, right, Rog? I mean, you would never know. Yeah, he was. You would never know you with a big shot. He was very generous, and he was funny. He had a, he was obviously clever and, but really soulful.

I mean, the man. He wrote, go ahead. He was a blue collar poet. He wrote for the average man in the street, you know, where the regular job and trying to get along with his wife and raising kids in school. That's he wrote those kinds of songs, John. I yeah, I quote him all the time. Within one of these lines.

And I love a million John Primes lines of his lines. And there's a lot of them that people go over and over. But there was one walking down the street like Lucky LaRue got my hand in my pocket thinking bad. I ain't hurting nobody. I ain't hurting no one. That's beautiful. It's incredible. Henry, there was a, go ahead Roger, I'm sorry.

I was gonna tell you a very quick story about John. This is his kind of humor. We got together one night at six o'clock, which was a bad time for us to write. We wrote it one o'clock in the morning. But somebody decided we should get together. We sat down, we looked at each other for an hour, trying to come up with an idea and couldn't. And John said, are you hungry?

I said, yeah. He said, let's go and get a steak. So we went to Ruth Chris Steakhouse and we ordered our food and a nice bottle of wine and we were drinking some wine and he was eating a bite of steak and he looked at me and he said I love songwriting. It's a beautiful line at the time. I've never forgotten it.

That's great. Henry, did you want to share your poem with Gilbert? Oh, it was, well, when Roger, see I was in England with my wife and and and Roger while we were there Roger was being inducted into what is called the Songwriters of Distinction which is you know one of the most it's like it's like a songwriter Hall of Fame here and so you know Joe Brown who was his friend for how many years we friends with Joe Brown a hundred and they had that when they both turned 75 they had their So, you know, Joe Brown, who was his friend, for how many years were you friends with Joe Brown? 100 and, they had, when they both turned 75, they had their 150th birthday party, which is fun.

You know, they had these shirts, and anyway, so Joe never missed a gig in his life, and he was gonna make a speech about Roger, and I had one, I had no idea what I was going to, I thought I was going to a dinner party that you needed to wear a tuxedo to get into the restaurant. I had no idea what we were doing. And so we got dropped off and we walk into some posh place

in what part of London it was, a very posh part of London. Savoy. Savoy. And as we walk in, they blow the trumpets and go, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Gross. And the guy says, do us proud, sir. Because Joe got sick, he got the flu. And he says to me, I skipped this,

Joe got sick for the first time in his life, an hour before we were supposed to leave, he couldn't get out of bed. And he says to me, Henry, you'll say a few words about Roger, won't you? And I said, sure, why not? I mean, my pal, and I'll say something about it. So, won't you? And I said, sure, why not? I mean, my pal, and I'll say something about it. So I got in this room and I get in there,

I mean, Andrew Lloyd Webber is there, and Justin Heywood, I mean, half of Rock and Roll England is there, and they're honoring my friend, and I hadn't prepared anything. But I remember that Joe Brown and Roger, both of them, and in fact every English guy I ever met, does these little limericks.

So I had learned one, I think in public school. And I thought, well, the English people like this. So I said, "'Twas the night before the king's castration. "'It was his last ball. "'All the counts, recounts and discounts were gathered round the table talking camel shit, for in those days bullshit had not yet been invented. Uproad Sir Galahead said, Where is the Queen? Why, she's playing with the prick of the Prince of Peoria. What, said the King? She should be dangling the dick of Duke of Denmark. Fuck everyone, said

the King, and millions of babies were born, for in those days the king's word was the law And I said this and that was where our friendship ended He says this is like a hundred huge hit songwriters with all their wives and everything I didn't know what else to say Gilbert you'd have done it. Gilbert would have done it. Gilbert would have done it. You guys, one thing with you guys that keeps coming through is gratitude. Roger, I heard you in an interview

and somebody said, you know, who is Roger Cook? And you said, one lucky son of a bitch. Well, it's true, isn't it? And I'm tall and I'm fairly good looking. Yes. And um... I mean, what do you want? I'm very happy with life. Yeah, I'm a very lucky man. Lucky man.

We're all lucky people here, including Jim Dellacroce, who's watching from the... And Jim Dellacroce is here. He's not speaking, but we owe this whole episode to him. Yes. As well as the Michelle Phillips show and the John Sebastian show. I owe tons to him, yeah. And Henry, why don't you, speaking of luck and gratitude, you have the perfect song to take us out. Well, I even think Roger doesn't hate this one of mine. The waitress asks me if I'm famous.

I say no, but I'm hungry. She says the eggs are cold, the toast is burnt, the bacon's mostly fat. And I say lucky me me I like it like that Nowhere to stay I ring the doorbell The landlord looks me up and down and says The walls are thin the rooms are cramped There's no place to hang your hat And I say, lucky me, I like it like that Cause every day I play it straight Never tempt the hand of fate

In a world of give and take I take what's given I find a gypsy fortune teller in a rundown shack across the tracks she says money isn't in the cards hard work will break your back and I say lucky me I like it like that because every day I played straight never tempt the hand of fate in a world of give and take I take what's given Standing at the gates of heaven, St. Peter smiles at me and says, The food is great, the hotel's grand, your bags have been unpacked, and I say, lucky me me I like it like that lucky me I like it like that fantastic that's a great song Henry what a great song thanks Henry. Love it. Thanks, Raj. Thank you, everybody. I can't believe you're Jewish. I just can't believe it.

Why? I can't believe you're not Jewish and wrote great songs. What are the odds? I mean, you're the only guy that ever wrote a hit. I can't believe it. I mean, it's unbelievable. We have to thank you guys. Gilbert, did you have a good time? Gil, did you have fun with these guys?

Oh my God, yes. Roger, Henry. We had fun with you, Gilbert. You guys are just terrific. Terrific artists. And Jim De La Croce, nothing happens without Jim. So, thanks again, pal. Any things you guys want to plug or promote or mention or just your website yeah Henry gross comm and and I'm on and for those of you that don't

want to buy I mean CDs you can't buy anything anymore anyway where would you play it but if you are nuts enough to buy one I've got a house full trust me and and if you want to hear it it on YouTube. Just look up the songs on my website, and it's on Spotify, it's on Apple. My stuff's, all my records, they're all available everywhere. And I have songs you'll love, like The Night You Picked Up the Check, and Let's Open a Bottle and Wine,

and some very nice heartfelt ones too. You know, I have all, I have, where else are you going to hear Geezers of Nazareth? Unless you come to my album. So, you know, you're not gonna find it. Let's face it, you can't get it anymore. Corvettes is closed. So.

Corvettes is gone. What about you, Rog? Anything you want to promote or mention before we get out of here? No, just have a good life everyone. Have a wonderful fucking life. Thank you guys both for a lifetime of music. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you very much for the opportunity to be on this show. That's great. Okay, Gil. It was great. Gil, I love you. And Frank, you're unbelievable. And Rog, well, you know, it's... Yeah, well, then, Ron, save it for later.

I hope you guys are together soon so you can smell him. And Henry, you were saying you were a fan of mine. I was very flattered. No, I am. But I realize, I told Frank, I think I know, you know, I'm going to know a lot about but I mean, your line about I got to say what you did to the guy George to Kai is okay to Kate. Yes. Oh Lord. I saw that and the and I got to say Gil my Lord

took the line about he imagined being the black sheep of the Hitler family. I mean, this is classic. This is too good. I mean, I wish we could stay on and you could do a half an hour because that really would be the treat. You know, it's unbelievable. Another day. Another day. And Frank tortured me because he said you were doing Carolines and that you know that if I and I'm not in New York and he said if I was there we would have gone down to see you and oh man that'll happen. It'll happen.

Oh thank you. You guys are entertaining as hell. Go on Ron. Thank you. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre. And we've been talking to two guys, if it has anything to do with songs or songwriting, they've done it. And they continue doing it.

Roger Cook and Henry Gross. That's them. And let's thank Johnny Lucas and John McClain. Yeah, Johnny. And John Murray for also making this happen. It takes a village. We love you guys. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We love you so much, bro. We'll love it. Who's gonna rock it tonight? Mama, who's gonna rock it? Who's gonna rock it tonight? The cowboy at the bar is waiting for his chance He's got a pistol in his pocket He thinks he can dance

Mama, who's gonna rock it? Who's gonna rock you tonight? Mama, who's gonna roll? Who's gonna hold in your arms? Mama, who's gonna roll? Who's gonna hold in your arms? Who's gonna hold your arms? The joker in the corner in the jacket and tie Doin' all they can to try to catch your eye

Mama, who's gonna rock? Who's gonna rock you tonight? Yeah, with his wife wishing he was alone Everybody here wants him taking home We're all around him, just waiting on the sun No matter, leave him here until we learn Who's gonna rock you tonight? Mama, who's gonna rock? Who's gonna rock you tonight? You know what I'm thinking And that ain't no crime All I wanna do is help you make up your mind

Mama, who's gonna rock? Who's gonna rock Gonna rock it tonight Oh mama, who now? Yeah, with his wife wishin' he was alone Everybody here wants to take you home Where are we, Latin? Just waitin' on time Nobody'll even hear until we learn Who's gonna rock you tonight? Mama, who's gonna rock? Who's gonna rock you tonight? You know I'm thinking that ain't no crime All I wanna do is help you make up your mind Mama, who's gonna rock?

Who's gonna rock it tonight Mama who's gonna rock Who's gonna rock it tonight