Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Jeffrey Tambor Encore

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

"Hey now!" GGGACP celebrates the 30th anniversary of the premiere of HBO's "The Larry Sanders Show" (August 15, 1992) with this encore of a 2019 conversation with Emmy-winning actor Jeffrey Tambor. In this hilarious (and heartfelt) episode, Jeffrey talks about finding joy, avoiding dailies, pursuing authenticity, befriending co-star Garry Shandling and breathing life into some of TV's most indelible characters. Also, Ernest Borgnine inspires, James Mason perspires, Jeffrey gets mistaken for Elliott Gould and Rod Steiger holds a grudge against Marlon Brando. PLUS: George C. Scott! "Radioland Murders"! Remembering Rip Torn! The generosity of Al Pacino! And Jeffrey and Gilbert share the screen with a chimp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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find themselves on a team? Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another. It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge, and sparks are gonna fly. New episodes Sundays. Watch free on CBC Gem. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre.

Our guest this week is a Golden Globe and Emmy winning performer and one of the most recognized and admired stage TV and film actors of his generation. You know his work from popular features including and Justice for All, Mr. Mom, City Slickers, Life Stinks, Meet Joe Black, There's Something About Mary, Girl Interrupted, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Tangled, Hellboy, The Hangover, and The Death of Stalin. You've also seen him in dozens of well-known TV shows, such as Taxi, MASH, Hill Street Blues, Max Headroom, Tales from the Crypt, Entourage, Bob's Burgers, The Orville, The Good Wife, Archer, and three groundbreaking series, Transparent Arrested Development, and a program we love to talk about on this podcast, The Larry Sanders Show. Yay.

In a career that started in repertory theater way back in the early 1970s. He's gone on to work side by side with George C. Scott, Mel Brooks, Brad Pitt, Helen Mirren, Sir Anthony Hopkins,

Angelina Jolie. You didn't say yes for her Oh yes Girl interrupted David Mamet Guillermo Del Toro Guillermo whatever you want to do

Guillermo I knew I'd fuck that one up Guillermo Del Toro Al Pacino. Arthur Penn. Norman Jewison. Yes. And the one he's most proud of.

Gilbert Gottfried. That's right. Gilbert Gottfried. Here I am. Yes. He has his own podcast, Diverted to a Diverted. He has his own podcast. I like Diverted.

Devoted and Diverted to the love and art of acting. And it's called, appropriately, Acting Schmackty. Yeah. And in his 2000. Am I allowed to talk to during this introduction? Sure. It's been going on for about five minutes. It's almost over.

And I'm actually losing the ability to... I think something's wrong here. Do we have Medicaid? I'm sorry. Medicaid. And his 2017 memoir, and it's a good one. It's called Are You Anybody? And it's a good one.

It's called Are You Anybody? Frank and I are pleased to welcome to the show a versatile and adventurous actor, a fan of this very podcast. You got that right. And my co-star in the classic movie, Funky Monkey. Were you in Funky Monkey? I was in Funky Monkey. What are we doing even sitting here? Yeah.

Oh, we have to talk about Funky Monkey. What were you in Funky Monkey? I was like a mad scientist. And I was inebriated. Yeah, well you had to be. Were you in Nice? Were you in Nice? Funky monkey. Were you in Nice? No.

Now, were we in two different funky monkeys? Well, there was funky monkey one. Yes. And funky monkey two. Now, there was a funky monkey that had an angry, drunken French midget walking around in a monkey outfit. Well, I don't know about the angry. Yeah. Nor the drunken.

Yeah. But I do know that in the original Funky Monkey 1, I think on the first day of shooting, the monkey bit Matthew Modine. Oh, well, I was working with Matthew Modine. Do you want to say who the guest is? Oh, yeah. Jeffrey Tambor. Oh. Welcome, Jeffrey. oh well i was i was working with matthew modine do you want to say who the guest is oh oh yeah jeffrey tambor oh welcome more importantly i do remember oh wait wait i remember matthew modine showing me his hand from the bike with the teeth marks yeah now the left hand was me

marks yeah now the left hand was me yeah and the right hand was the chimp now see i heard they originally shot it maybe in france or something nice nice france and they had they had uh an angry drunken french midget which you know you'd have to be angry and drunk if you were a midget in a monkey suit. In Nice. And in Funky Monkey. Yeah. Don't you know everything when they say, hey, you just got an offer and the name of the show is Funky Monkey?

Yeah. Isn't that when you put the phone down and say, talk to you later? Yeah. Yeah. That's when you hang yourself. So you were at UCLA when we shot the second part. Yeah, I was in California. And I was filming.

There was a monkey on my head when I was filming my scene. What do you mean? Well, there was a little monkey. A spider monkey or something that climbed up on my head uh show business and and but but yeah i heard they had a lot of trouble with the angry french drunken midget yeah uh but yes and and uh i've never seen funky. You are a list of... I haven't. Matthew Modine told me...

He bit you? No, he's told me how smart these monkeys are. That after he got bitten by the monkey, another monkey looked at Matthewthew modine's hand held it and rubbed his paw over it like to make his to make that bite mark better how wonderful about that was that the one that got the bad review the one line review yes yes there was a one line review am. Am I in it? No. One line. One of the greatest reviews of all time. The one line was,

Matthew Modine once starred in a Stanley Kubrick film. And that was it. That's great. And that was it. That's great. And that tells you it right there, the highs and lows of a career. My wife and I were, my wife who's here today, Kat, and I were in Nice, France, and we were having, and we're making arguably one of the, in Yiddish we say dreck. And we didn't know what we were doing, but you know.

Anyhow. It's nice to be here. Thank you. I love what you've done with the place. You're finally here. I'm finally here. I'll officially apologize because I bolted last time. I phoned Dara. Is that it? I phoned Dara today because I wanted to know if we

were videoed and if i had to dress up and um which i obviously did and i i didn't leave the message and i went oh my gosh he must be freaking out because he's he's bolted yet again but you know i was nervous about coming on and i i apologize for any uh uh consternation. Is that a word? Yeah. No need for any constipation. But I'm cool. We're cool, right? Good. We're glad you're finally here. Finally.

Yeah. And we've done, we were in a bunch. You're pointing it. I know. We've done a bunch of other things. Yeah. Now, you remembered that we, because I used to, they used to call me for those beginning sketches.

That's right. On the Jay Leno Tonight Show, which I loved doing. I know. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. I know. Well, you should know this. But you were around a lot.

Yeah, I loved doing that show. And you came in the backstage and we schmoozed. Yeah. Have you noticed that I've become more Jewish as we started this show? I'm throwing in this Yiddishisms and everything. Anyhow, and we talked and we had a great time. And then we did, you want to say what we did? Oh, okay.

We also, I think we were both in. You're going to throw something at me. Yeah, because you're turning into're turning into theodobo kell if i were a rich man oh go ahead okay now am i turning into theodobo kell what you were oh you said you're turning into more of a jewish more of a jewish now listen listen to me more of a jewish more i know don't talk to him. He's more of a Jewish. I'm turning into Chico Marx.

He's turning into more of a Jewish. Okay. Listen. We both, I think, were in those ESPN commercials with the card-playing dogs. Weren't you a voice in that? I could have been. If not, we could cut this out. I don't know.

No, we don't have to cut it out. Can you know that I was at school the other day? Because sometimes people get me mixed up. And I walked in and they just say, I'm sorry, I just have to say it. But I just said, I love your work. I just love your work. And I said, thank you. Thank you so much.

No, I really love you. You've meant so much to me, Mr. Gould. Elliot Gould. Oh, my God. Because I'm a dead lookalike for Elliot Gould. Could someone look up the ESPN card playing dogs? I'm sure you were in that. And Art Carney was in it, too.

Wow. Are you not thinking of Jackie Gleason? He gets them mixed up. It may have been Audrey Meadows I'm mistaking you for. And what else were we in? Okay. Drum roll. Okay.

And I keep forgetting his name. Phil Collins. Phil Collins. Su-su-sudio, I was going to say. Were you in that? Yes. What was that, a TV movie, Gil? We did a video.

A video, yes. And let's see. Henry Mancini was there? Henry Mancini, absolutely. Phil Collins? Wow. Phil Collins and Miss America. Vanessa Williams was in it, too.

That's right. And my agent tried to buy Henry Mancini's tuxedo. Oh, boy. You don't mean no boy. I do mean no boy. You don't mean, oh, boy. I do mean, oh, boy. Yeah, I wasn't embarrassed at all. Well, it wasn't an exciting, oh, boy. No, but the fact that he sold it to her was interesting.

See, sometimes I'll say, oh, boy. And other times I say, wow, a lot of the show. My kids say, wow. Yeah, see, and you know, sometimes i genuinely mean wow i love wow and other times it's like i can't think of a fucking thing to say so i go wow same yeah same yeah i don't even know where i am right now so did you look it up no no one moved yeah who was it was jeffrey in it i don't know i just have the youtube link i could play it no could you fucking find out if jeffrey was jesus christ do the do the big one what were we in the big one okay uh okay besides funky monkey one and two dr doodle you were in dr

doodle yes i was the Were you just following me? What's going on? I was the obsessive compulsive door. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Where he'd go, throw the ball. Throw the ball. Throw the ball.

Oh, oh, throw the ball. Come on, doctor. Doctor. Am I alone here? Throw the ball. Oh, that's great. That's great. And I was the veterinarian.

Yes. And I put the thermometer on the first shot up the puppet's rectum. Yes. Except it wasn't the puppet. It was the real dog, and they didn't tell me. And the dog farted in my face. Oh, my God. Welcome to show business, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, why did you find out? It was you and Art carney who else there were about six it just says that you two did all the voices it had to do with that painting of the dogs playing cards yeah well we'll do a deeper dive after the show i love frank how frank just did that yes well we'll do a deeper dive that's otherwise 20 minutes will be spent on trying to find us frank's way of saying just shut the fuck up and get the fuck on move on to the next question we do another thing together hollywood square hollywood square hollywood squares yes and uh i got uh henry winkler asked me to do the voice and i said you got to be kidding you're come on down well that's horrible

i just hurt myself by the way um well you and henry go way back yeah way yeah he was my producer on good guy mr sunshine mr sunshine where i played a blind i remember it opposite dynasty what are the chances now is that all the things on... Was Leonard Frye on that show? Okay. Leonard Frye was on that show, the character actor. Wow, you have done your homework. Well, I was a fan of his. He was a great, great, great actor. Yeah, funny guy.

Funny guy. Well, here we are. Gil? That, what, yeah. Do they call you Gil? Is that all the things that I've done with Jeffrey? That was all I could find on IMDb, all the common credits. Yeah. Now, you might want to look up, you know, Elliot Gould. of things that i've done with jeff that was all i could find on imdb all the common credits yeah

now you might want to look up uh um you know uh elliot gould yes weren't you also occasionally confused with dr phil oh absolutely when i was uh younger and i had uh uh not gray hair and a mustache right people used to thank me on the street for helping them. Well, thank you. And I would say, I'm not that. And they went, oh, thank you. You're so modest. I said, and finally I used his phrase. I went, well, how's that going for you? You should see your producer right now.

He's about to jump out of his seat. Because he said, we're not even into the fucking show. I let him exhaust himself. It's like working with us three years. Hey, Mary, I just listened to a five-hour podcast on Gilbert Contra. It was great. Do you know that I'm a fan of your show? I have to tell you something.

Thank you. That was one of the insincere responses. The reason I like your show is sometimes when I burp in the mic, we'll cut that, too, along with the funky monkey. I have irritable bowel syndrome. Is that what I have? That's what I should do an advertisement for. Hi, Jeff Tamber for irritable bowel syndrome.

Listen. So anyway, am I being too silly? No. Oh. You were starting to say you were a fan of this show this show yeah oh no um no i'll tell you why when i know you got to listen to this because i promised i was going to do it okay when i get down when i get the little hungarian russian which i am yeah i listen to this show and i also listen to your roasts how nice thank you because they make me laugh thank you and you have a gift uh that few people have and do we need in these times you make people laugh and i believe oh great he burst he bursts into tears um but uh you know uh thanks thanks for the thanks for the laugh that's nice gilbert huh wow that i see this puts me in one of

those uh situations where i have to try to be sincere well don't do that yeah no you don't want to break that muscle do that no i can that. No, I can't either. Yeah. You know, it's easy if you said something where I could go, oh, good, go fuck yourself. Then I'd be happy. But when I had to be- Tell me to go fuck myself. Thank you. Go fuck yourself, Jeff. Thank you.

I sent Jeffrey some episodes. I sent him Michael McKean. Right. You requested. You never sent it. I sent them. No, you didn't. I didn't.

I sent you Robert Wagner. No, you keep writing me and saying, I'm to send you michael mckean and robert wagner and that's it that's our correspondent and you were you were at one of my roasts at the friars i think i was yeah i i don't know are you that that new york friars or l.a oh i have no idea i don't even know where my car is. You kidding me? Do you want to tell us about this seminal moment that happened? It's from your book when you were sitting there with your family watching these shows, watching talk shows, watching Steve Allen. And you said, this is one of the more touching things in the book.

Actually, it's a catalyst. You said to your folks, I'm going to be on television one day. Oh, yeah. You said to your folks, I'm going to be on television one day. Oh, yeah. And my father laughed, and he hit me on top of the head. And he was a professional boxer, and he had that ring. And I cried, and I went, I'll show you. And, you know, he saw me on Broadway with George C. Scott.

Oh, in Sly Fox. And he also saw me uh in my first uh film uh opposite my first film oh with pacino opposite al pacino good ask me if i knew what i was doing well i know you didn't you were terrified i didn't even know what those marks on the floor were i just thought that was lousy housekeeping you you could have been funny but probably on another podcast you you said that you can't watch that i don't watch i don't watch me why is that and you didn't want to watch it then because you went to dailies and you had a bad experience very very jack warden i believe they had to drive me around to four o'clock in the morning because i wanted to uh wanted to leave well you did what did you memorize i'm a freak didn't Jack Warden tell you

don't go watch the Dailies with Pacino? He said, what if you don't like him? And he was totally right. First of all, I haven't accepted the fact that I'm bald. So, and I grew up in the theater, and my whole thing is, once

you've sent it, it's sent. What do you have to look at it for? And it's not me. I will later watch it. But mostly, you know, mostly Elliot Gould stuff. And what was it like working with Al Pacino? Especially as your first movie. He was coming right off The Godfather.

I mean, he was hot. He was something. I remember once being in an elevator with him where people actually became unglued. People just, I never knew what fandom was. He was terrific. He knew I was a newbie, and he treated me like gold. I will tell you one thing. newbie and he treated me like gold. I will tell you one thing when you do a close-up people don't know this usually the actor that is off stage puts his head right next to the camera

and squeezes it so your eye will be closer to the camera and he did that on my first close-up and I went oh that poor fucker he's just trying to what is the lamest joke I've ever ever heard and I did not know that's how you did a uh a close-up but he treated me like uh like well like the like gold and told me you know uh because I was very I I can't watch that show and justice for all because I worried it to death. Really? Yeah. I'm a worrier.

Do you worry? Oh, yes. What do you worry about today? Oh, everything. Yeah, me too. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. There's no order to it, right?

Yeah. Right. The catnip and also the test results on your blood. And you know, it's like that thing of where- Frank, do you worry? Oh, yeah. Okay. Where they tell you take one day at a time.

It's beyond that. Yeah, I can't. I worry about that. Because I'm thinking in terms of in five minutes from now, I'm worried. Yeah. And look at you. You're so successful. And you survived. and you know about

funky monkey three right yes we're still negotiating well the music hasn't been written but we're doing it as a musical i was gonna say there was that story uh rod steiger when he was doing the taxi cab scene and on the waterfront, I could have been a contender. Yeah, Marlon wasn't there. Marlon went home. Yeah. Which is a really great thing to do. It's not that he went home.

I think he went to his therapist in New York City. That's what I... I was reading a book. Yeah. That happens a lot, by the way. Because I met Rod Steigeriger i loved rod steiger he was terrific yeah and i asked him about that yeah and he said i didn't speak to him for 20 years after that no try to do it like he said it i'm only kidding well i was his oh by the way i also listening to you uh you were

uh you're a great uh mimic and you're a great uh he's a great mimic what is it called he is a great mimic impression another word impressionist yeah he is i didn't know that oh yeah with dick you were doing everybody you were doing uh you were doing dick for god God's sake. Have you heard of James Mason? May I hear it? Yes. From now on, you'll have no more money. Now, is James Mason having a bowel movement? Go ahead. Never mind. It's James Mason having a bowel movement. It might go something like this.

Oh, jeez. Why did I eat at McDonald's today? Lord. The number of people who are turning off this podcast. This is amazing. I ordered the X. They got it. I ordered the I ordered the

Whopper with cheese Wash your hands Wash your hands Let's go That one is Sliding back in Use the sandy tabs I love this story too

He'll just keep going He'll be into the ground Let me Hold on the story too about wait he'll just keep going he'll beat it into the ground talk about auditioning for jewison too because you made a very strange choice when he asked you if you were nervous they had well there's a couple of cigarette packs oh yeah patrick palmer and jewish you know there's a moment when an actor gets a role and um i had a room for lunch that's why i can't drop still sounds like a bowel movement that'll be okay next weekend medic that'll be 20 minutes in the act. Beloved actor Gilbert Gottfried.

I've never heard you laugh like this. When James Litton is going to interview Minko, tell me how James Mason mason has a problem this is going to be one of those shows it is one of those shows yeah yeah where i'm going to say listen uh i have a valise of money coming over uh drop this show we will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. balanced flavor and smooth finish. Just sit back and listen to the music. Ooh. This single malt scotch whiskey is guaranteed to impress dad this Father's Day. The Glenlivet.

Live original. Please enjoy our products responsibly. You'll flip for $4 pancakes at A&W. Wake up to a stack of three light and fluffy pancakes topped with syrup. Only $4 on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. at A&W's in Ontario. Can I ask you about something from the book? Which is your 12... I thought I'd work these in periodically because they're fun.

Your most embarrassing moments in your career. This one? It'll lead right into this. There's no segue. Well, you have 12 in the book. This will be 13. Is this the Beckett one? The Beckett one is great. Why segue well you have 12 in the book this will be 13 is this the beckett one the beckett one is great why don't you tell that because what's the other one he's well there's the there's the bounce commercial which is fun there's the gun smoke

audition oh let me do the gun smoke audition uh you know they tried to reissue gun smoke and they invited me in and i i had some notoriety by then uh and they said oh I was so happy to be here and so do you mind reading you know uh what's the phrase they say now can we hit it back and forth okay which means listen fucker we're auditioning you um and uh and so I I said oh surely and I uh I picked it up. And the line was like, well, he's coming into town now. He's going to get on the horse. And they said, oh, okay, and action. I said, well, you know, he's coming into town now, and he's getting on the horse.

And they said, hold on a second. Do you think he's Irish? And I went went oh no no should we try it again here and i knew something was terribly wrong because i went what is coming out of my mouth so i did it again and it was worse well you know he's coming into town now and you know don't you know he's getting on the horse. Anyway, I excused myself and apparently they called my agent and said, there's something terribly wrong with this man. Now, the other one was I was doing a repertory theater.

Right. And I was in a play called Beckett? Yeah, it was Beckett. And I was the fourth baron. And in those days in repertory theater, I had to pull my own curtain and then walk out through the scene and then pull the curtain back. How professional. And I was wearing chain mail.

Chain mail. It was 1967. It was the year of the Asian flu. And as I started to pull the curtain, I went, hmm, little bubble there. Little kind of, ooh, what's that? That was the beginning of irritable bowel syndrome and Asian flu. And I kind of went, hmm, I better expel that before I go on.

And I just gave a little, oops, and I completely shit my pants. I have above this anecdote. Gil will love this. I crapped my chain mail. On stage? No, backstage and then on stage. So on stage, squish, squish, squish, squish. That's me walking.

I would say my line, Thomas Beckckett is dead and walk squish squish thomas and then i noticed in the first two rows people kind of going what what what is that and then i squish squish squish and i left the stage and i pulled the curtain the curtain and and went to costumes to get a new pair of non-shat clothing. Non-shit clothes. Non-shat. Oh. Let's be clear. Hey, can I straighten something out?

Oh, no. With Rod Steiger, when he was young, he would talk like that. Yes. And then later on, was that him i started i got that really yeah especially in wc fields and me yeah it's like when he turned it's it's almost like he couldn't stop doing wc fields it was weird because it used to be when i worked on Heated of Night. And then later on, he would go on shows and he goes, Well, I was an actor. And, yeah.

So he totally changed. Yeah. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. What am I to say to this subject? Fuck you, champ.

There's no rejoicing. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. What am I to say to this subject? Fuck you, Jeff. There's no rejoicing. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you and your whole family. I don't have to laugh at something I have no idea what you're saying. Fuck you, Jeff. Tell us, we love to talk about-

I'm leaving. We love to talk about classic directors. You worked with Arthur Penn and Jewison. Yeah. Back when you were a young actor. Yeah. Tell us something about each one of them arthur penn was uh changed my life uh by casting you in sly fox yeah he cast me in sly fox and he also when hector alessandro that great actor left i took over the

role for a year and a half and what was the other director uh uh jewison your first i mean go figure my first broadway show i'm going to show with, uh, they told me not to do it by the way, cause I was an understudy. I had one line, right? Uh,

you look wonderful, sir, which I said three times. And then, um, get this. I do my first film and it's opposite. I'm starring opposite Al Pacino.

I couldn't get over it. Yeah. And your first major stage production, you're with George C. Scott, George C. Scott, who was a mentor to me. I don't know if he and your first major stage production you're with George C. Scott George C. Scott who was a mentor to me I don't know if he knew I was

he was my mentor but I adored him so you're saying George C. Scott didn't hate the Jews somebody told me he did I wish the audience could see Jeffrey's face one of the great deadpan takes. I think something broke.

I think I'm having a Beckett moment. I what? Somebody told me. Yes, who was it? I forget who. They told me George C. Scott hated the Jews. No. Well, you didn't hate this Jew, so.

Did you let them know you were a Jew? No. No. Well, there you go. I cut my payas and I didn't wear my yarmulke. Speaking of sly fox. How about the time in Larry Sanders where Hank refused to take off his yarmulke? Fantastic.

I just watched it last night. What is with you? Are you married? Do you have a life? Yeah, I am. Okay. Jesus Christ. I watched... I did it the night before my wife's surgery when I was supposed to be spending time with my wife.

That's how dedicated I am. Yeah, I'm sure she appreciated that. She did. I love the hate letter that he gets. Yeah. Thanks for the Jew target. Well, the reason that he liked the show is because he got one fan letter that said, Dear Jew face? Yeah.

So it's like, thanks for the Jew target so I know what to aim for when I blow your fucking Jew head off. Oh my God. And you memorized while she was being anesthetized. No, that was today. That was great. That was great. What's your wife's name? Genevieve.

Oh, Genevieve, you're going to be fine. I don't know what he's doing. He's memorizing something. It was only wrist surgery. Oh. Yeah, but that's a great episode. Thank you. Yeah.

And since we've already mentioned the character a few times, can you say your Hank line? Well, we're in the very studio where it is set every morning, where Mr. – help me. Mr. Stern. Mr. Stern. Yeah. Yeah.

Says, hey now. You know, I went to the Johnny Carson show because I was playing his sidekick. Ed McMahon. Am I way off kilter and out of sync here for you? No, no, no. This is interesting. And I went there to, and he said, well, you want to be backstage? I said, no, I want to go up there and I want to watch.

First of all, the first thing I knew was that the distance, well, you know this, you were there. Well, the first thing I knew was that the distance – well, you know this. You were there. The distance between Mr. Carson and Mr. McMahon was maybe eight feet at the most, whereas on television you think they're – and I remember that Gary came out and he did his first set. As you know, you did stand-up, right? Do stand-up. Yeah, yeah. And he had his note cards and he did his first set and it didn't go well

uh or it wasn't great and um and when they went to commercial the lights went down i remember that mr carson didn't speak and mr mcmahon didn't speak they'd been there you know that's two and a half minutes and um i saw and this changed my life. Gary went into his pocket. He pulled out the cards, and he rearranged the cards, and he rearranged them, this one, this one, this one,

tore this one up and everything. They came back up. Here we are. We're back, and he killed wow and the name of that chapter is called you can always rearrange the cards that's cool you used to say on the sanders set that you liked the scenes where he would also pick out the card the jokes on the cue i told him to tell me to tell me when he was going to do that because he would do it. And what I didn't know about you guys is that you don't go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You just go, oh, that one, that one, that one. No, no, no, not that.

That one, that one. And I didn't know that. And it was all about being in the moment. And I think people don't understand what you guys do because it's life or death. It's serious. I mean, people think that we sit by a pool, you know, eating grapes. Honey, do you have those grapes? Did Ed ever talk to you about that part?

I mean, I know it wasn't exclusively based on Ed McMahon. It was kind of an amalgam no one ever said but by the way what's said there is that you you you see that sign up there that's um that's applause and when that sign comes up you know and that's a one a one a oneer that's a takeoff it was a demo uh-huh because we were going to later and i was going to go learn how to announce and go to announcing school and everything. That's what they used for, what were we on, seven years? Yeah. Yeah, seven years.

When you looked at that script for the first time, and you've said this a couple of times in an actor's life where there's the perfect marriage between the character and the actor, and as soon as you read that thing, you knew the character. You knew who Hank was. I did. I did. I mean, in all modesty i i did uh and i went i guess because i knew how sensitive he was people called him a buffoon and

i never thought i said he's not a buffoon he's lonely yeah and lonely makes us all ridiculous well he's everything i mean that that the range of the thing but when he took over the show he became yeah hank's night and the sun of the thing but when he took over the show he became yeah hank's night hacks night in the sun yeah he took over the show you know what i did that week i did a stupid thing i did like an actor's indulgent thing i pretended i was that asshole and i didn't talk to anybody but that experiment didn't work uh because all i was was an asshole who didn't talk to anybody i see and um you know i should have told people what i was doing yeah a little method huh yeah and i'm not method yeah yeah i mean i prepared for this he's icarus in that episode

i mean he he flies too close to the sun but it's but it's great and you're very few podcasts are using the word icarus well we try to we try to elevate the dialogue i use the word Icarus. We try to elevate the dialogue. I use the word licorice. I know. But you can imitate Icarus. I'm not as educated. No. Where'd you go to college? Oh, God, I didn't go to college.

Where'd you go to high school? I'm very stupid. Are you stupid? Yeah. I get that. And yet humble. You're not stupid. I've seen you.

You're wise and you've been through the trenches and you're great. Nobody that can do an act like you can, Gilbert. Could possibly be stupid. And you're courageous. That he is. Thank you. See, now you put me thank that he is thank you see now you get put me in that position oh go fuck yourself go fuck fuck you jeff fuck you fuck you oh fuck you suck my dick jeff you're not going there you know watching that episode it's one of the few

episodes where you like him for a portion of the show. You're happy for Hank that he gets this break. He's filled with joy when he gets the opportunity, when Artie comes in and he tells him, we're going with you. And he's lovable and he bonds with the staff and everybody's happy for him. And you're just waiting for that turn. I know. I know. Peter Tolan script. Good episode.

Peter Tolan. Yeah. Good writers on that show, too. We have to give him a shout out. And the thing about Gary's writing is that he would go past the joke to get something deeper, which is something George C. Scott told me, is that you go past the easy joke to get something deeper. Something that you guys don't really listen to on this set, but— Sorry.

Sorry. And that's how you really laugh by the way that let's give a shout out to one of our uh our podcast guests one of our frequent podcast is this a commercial no who played a who played a role in you getting that part okay this scares me and that's alan's why bell oh my god he's been on this show three times i think you know what i thought was gonna happen what's that i thought you're gonna play a tape about ellen's white bell no this isn't your that's why you saw that look on my face this is your life we have what is wrong with me bring him out i thought you were gonna go i thought you go hi thanks for asking hey hi how

are you jeff what's wrong with me, really? What actually has happened here? Maybe I set it up too well. I don't know. Medic! But Alan was. Alan and I, there was two people instrumental. Alan, I was auditioning badly for him. Not badly, but it was the wrong material.

We both agreed. But he said, may I make a phone call? And I said, sure. And he went in the other room and uh apocryphally uh he called gary and said i think this is the guy they were having trouble casting hank and i think this is the guy who plays hank uh also um judd apatow was in my corner and that's uh another friend of this show he has he been on yes and he listens to the show and he's endorsed hi judd yes yes and well that's a perfect opportunity to plug judd's book by the way oh great well don't plug mine i'm gonna plug yours too yeah you're in this book i am in this

what a lovely book it's gary shandling's yeah and uh you're in here and yeah judd has been great to us and great to this show he's a great guy oh and what your recollections oh no you're scaring me no because when you start to get naughty you get a little thing in your uh in your eye he had a sincere question it's sort of like a twitch it's sort of like i'm gonna fuck this guy so over i can get away till this gets it this bob einstein is the guest who busted our balls on this show the most i loved bob einstein you know when he uh did the show and i recommended him uh unarrested he sent in his measurements that were wrong he said that his left foot was 12 inches and his right foot was six inches and his right foot was 6 inches.

And they came up to me and they said, is there something wrong? And I went, no, this is Bob Einstein. You haven't seen anything yet. He busted our hump on this show, and you're right behind him. Oh, am I being? No, no, no. It's fun. Let's restart.

It's fun, but it's. Is it too busty? No, it's just. It's been a long time. We've missed doing a show like this. Steve Fink, my producer. Steve is here. Steve is here, and we're doing a podcast together.

We actually came to see how it's done. Forget that. You've come to the wrong place. And Steve, actually, because I told him I was nervous about coming on the show, and he said, be funny. So now I'm him I was nervous about coming on the show and he said be funny so now I'm going to be worried about being funny no no you're great we're enjoying it

I was going to ask you about another actor we talk about a lot on the show and you mentioned him before and that's Jack Warden oh god you worked with him too Gil yeah I worked with him in the Problem Child movies Oh my god

Wasn't he great What an actor Terrific actor Nice guy Did you want to say anything Steve No I'm good How do you think I'm doing You're doing great

Really Any notes Be funny Well I'm trying to be funny We'll plug the podcast You know my hands were shaking when i was walking here yeah i was shaking yeah i know yeah no one's really listening i know there's no reason to be we're gonna ask these people how you do a podcast what was our rating today 69

let's go let's go 68 okay 68 the what 68 what's your ranking what 68 what what were we dara last week 15 oh we were 15 we were in the top we were in the top 15 well we're in a different category we were within a category not ours is baldness right and we're 68 Ours is in the Unlistenable category We're in the top Top 20 What is your category? We're in TV and film

By the way Congratulations Being a part of Sirius XM Thank you How was that? Thank you I'll go fuck yourself

Fuck you Jeff Fuck you You piece of shit Oh there you go Now it's Now it's sounding like home More questions

Before we leave Talking about the Sanders show Sure, please We lost Changing tones Okay, tones We lost your friend Rip Torn Recently

In 2019 Had you known him before? No No In fact I don't know if it said in the book. Did it say anything about another actor playing it for a little while before? You did not.

No, I don't know this. It's not in the book. Hey, Judd, I'm going to say something. I don't know if everyone knows it. Wouldn't it be funny if you answered me? Sure. But for a while there, I think there was a difficulty in negotiation or something. Well, you said in the book that he wouldn't read.

He wouldn't read. Yeah. And you had to read for Gary. And Gary would read with you and see what the chemistry was. And for a while, I remember rehearsing that role with another actor. And then there were the unfortunate riots in L.A. And we stood down for that week or so during that horrible, horrible turmoil. And when we came back, Rip was there.

So obviously he read and floored. Well, he did. He floored Gary. And I just, that man was actor from, he just loved acting. and he loved gary oh that's nice and that's why arty was so so great that that came through in the in the absolutely what an actor what an actor he had his demons rip i mean he attacked norman mailer with a hammer he had some famously he had run-ins with dennis hopper who he sued. He was a complicated guy. But a great actor.

One day he came back from lunch, and we were about to go in and do the scene, and both of his windows on his car were smashed in. Oh. Like from a baseball bat or something. And I said, you know, how was lunch? And he didn't say anything about it at all and then we just went in and um uh we did the scene but that was kind of you know and his dressing room was like a dick sporting goods store there were reels and fly you guys look really bored no no

I'm looking at two faces who could be morticians. They're kind of going. This photographer, David Simon, is here, and he's as big a Larry Sanders fan as I am. Yeah. So we're getting off on this stuff. Yeah. He would encourage you to take the character darker. Who did?

Rip. He did? At times. He did? He said in the book. Yeah. Why do you know more about me than me? Well.

Yeah. He was just, yeah, he did. He did. But he was quite a guy, you know? Quite a guy. I like the story, too, where you said it. You know, it's interesting because I'm the last man standing. I know.

I know. So this may be it. So take advantage. Is this your swan song today? Yeah. From show business. Hey, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

What was his last words? I don't know. He kind of murm show business go fuck yourself what was his last words i don't know he kind of murmured go fuck yourself do you know that i'm 75 yeah look great no i didn't know this do i yes honestly how old do you think i look 20 65 what's his difference huh Huh? 64. Yeah, 65. Oh, 64 is better. Well, that's shaving 11 years off. Shaving. Yeah. How old do I look? 52. Good enough.

What are you? 56. Yeah. How old are you? I told you before. He's not going to say it. Fuck your problem. Fuck you Jeff

You wanna go fuck yourself This time I mean it Rip sent you a telegram When you were performing on Broadway In 2005 I need a lawyer What's going on? It's sweet

What's the telegram? He sent you a telegram What did it say? It touched you you said in 2005 you were on broadway oh 2005 yeah yeah what year is this now again where is my car can you tell me what the telegram was god it didn't go into detail in the book you just talked about how touched you were well look out for part two because we're gonna we're gonna divulge what that is i will make you tell the story of the last time you saw gary because it's sweet in santa monica you were with judd this is a very odd story and talk about a tone change um but um i kept getting this message from did i tell you when i won the golden globe oh he sent me he sent me a text saying, I'm standing in my kitchen crying?

That's sweet. What a guy. But he kept calling me and he kept calling Judd. And he wouldn't take no for an answer. So we met at, what's the name of that hotel that we stay at? Is that Shutter's in Santa Monica? No, no. What's the other one? Fairmont.

Okay. Fair enough. I don't even think that's the answer. What is it? She's looking up on her Google. What's the question? You and Gary and Judd met. You and he.

Yes, you and Gary and and gary and judd you and he yes you and gary and judd met yeah and uh he he said first of all he did say how proud he was of of judd and all he's done and then and then we talked and everything like that but there was something something there was some actors talk about there was something undertow and then judd had to take off and go back to work. And Frank. We walked to Santa Monica out there on the green, if anyone has been there. And we just sat there like two elderly Jews from I'm Not Rappaport. That's great. And I remember we talked less than just sat there.

And it was sort of like we did this, didn't we? This did happen, didn't it? And then I went back to my car, and he went back to his car. And I drove around forever in this sort of euphoria of having, you know, what was that? What was that? What was that? And on one of my times passing the Fairmont, he was sitting in his car,

and he was arguably doing the same thing. I love that story. And he changed my life. Ah, God, I love him. I love him. I just, thank you. You guys, you said that you both had a bond that was that you rarely spoke about i don't think we spoke about you know his brother uh died my brother died yeah

we both had uh um difficult mothers my mom winning the difficult uh prize the tambours of san francisco put the d back in people should read the book to read about in detail about your mom. It's fascinating. Yes, and we'll be selling those on the, yes, yes. We're in large print now. Are You Anybody from 2017. You want to know how that title came? Tell us. I was doing a Broadway show.

I walked out the stage door and the paparazzi, well, then it was autographs. It wasn't this. And the guy said, hey, hey, are you anybody? And I thought about it for a while and i went no that's good you can cut the silence no okay here some stories are just meant to be poignant jeffrey wow gilbert knew him a little bit too He knew Gary a little bit

Did you? Yeah Did I what? Did you know Gary a little bit? Did you check out? Uh yes I know you did You went to Tallahassee

I saw you take flight I saw you ask for another drink from the stewardess And the whole deal You left the building Saying what is this snorer? thought we had elliot ghouls what i remember with gary shanling yes was i had had at one point a burst appendix and i had to go in to have my stomach fixed up yeah and and he said where are you gonna where are you gonna what hospital and I said oh I tied the operation is gonna take place at New York Eye and

Ear and he goes shouldn't you go to a hospital called stomach and ass can I ass. Can I ask a question? What side is your appendix on? On the right. I have a little pain going on. I don't think anyone knows what the appendix was ever there for. Oh, it's a vestigial

organ. I have no idea what I just said, by the way. I like it. I'm going to start using it. We can do a commercial for vestigial. Orgid. And I have no idea what I just said, by the way. I like it. I'm going to start using it. Right. We could do a commercial for Vestigial. Yes. I had a memorable evening with Gary and John Marcus. Oh.

Who's a writer on the same show. And you came on the set. And I came to the show. And you're a friend of Wallace the Great. Wallace Langham. We talked. Was I nice? You were lovely. But I had met you before that.

I met you in a parking lot. Don't go there. The old, the DuPars parking lot. Don't tell this story. In Studio City. What? I met you before that. I met you in a parking lot. Oh, yeah. Don't go there. The old, the DuPars parking lot. Don't tell this story. In Studio City. What? I met you. I was a friend of Jack Mendelsohn's who wrote for the Ropers and Three's Company.

Uh-huh. And we were talking. I just approached you. I was, you know, a broke writer knocking around Los Angeles. You were very nice. And then I got to know Wally and he invited me to the set and then I spent time with you. You know, I am nice. Yes, you are.

I'm kind. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Well, we've gotten to know each other over phone he invited me to the set, and I spent time with you. You know, I am nice. Yes, you are. I'm kind. Yes. Yeah. Yes, well, we've gotten to know each other over phone calls and your appearances on The View. Oh, thank you for your grace on your phone calls. The last phone call we had, you kept saying, well, I need to get on this bus now, and I went, there's no bus. There is no bus. And your laughter tells me everything I need to hear.

When Gary came to do the Behar show, Joy had a show at CNN. I saw that. I just saw Joe. She also did 92nd Street Y, right? Yes. And she was on the old It's Gary Shaling show. So they went back. Oh, I didn't know that.

And he was very kind, and he invited me into the green room and asked me to weigh in on his jokes and sit with him. See, that's who he was. Insanely flattering to me. After he passed away, everyone came up to me and said, not everyone, but most people came up to me and said, you know, he helped me on this, and he helped me on this, and he helped me on this, and he helped me on this. What's in the documentary, how many people he mentored? That's a great documentary. Shout out to our friend Mike Bonfiglio, who made that with Judd.

Shout out to, what's his name? Michael Bonfiglio made that doc with Judd. Say that say that again michael bonfiglio he's one of mine what do you mean italiano sicilian yeah he might be hey that doc is beautiful and the documentary is beautiful and it's a real insight into the man yeah you, can I do something? Sure. Yeah. Because can I talk about something? Yeah. It's just a change of tone a little bit. Yeah.

Can I talk about Transparent a little bit? Sure. Oh. Because I... The show he won a slew of Emmys for, Gilbert. I won a Gilbert? A Gilbert. You won a Gilbert. God help me. And ladies

and gentlemen, the Gilbert goes to that. The Gilbert Go Fuck Yourself Award goes to... You don't want that. Well, I just think as a service to your listeners and a service to you guys, I want to

talk a little bit about Transparent because, you know, I was, as you know... Oh, Transparent. Now I know what you said. And I just want to, you guys. I want to talk a little bit about transparent because you know, I was, as you know, Oh, transparent. Now I know what you said. And I just want to, you know, there seems to be an elephant in the room. I like it to dismiss and throw it out and we can cut this if you don't, if you don't like it. But, uh, you know, I, I just, uh, uh, I think I owe it to your listeners who, you know, saying, is he glistening over this? But, you know, I was let go, you know? Um, uh,

and, uh, I was let go, you know? And I was a part of that, I was an amazing cast and it led such credence. Are you guys okay with me talking? Absolutely. Such credence and respect to the LGBT community and made people aware of the issues that were at hand and was so, so, so important that people understood and opened their eyes.

And they certainly, I, you know, God just opened my eyes and made people, what is the phrase, woke? It makes people aware. So I was so fortunate and I love that cast and I love that crew. And so regarding how I left the show, I just want to make it really, really clear for your listeners out there

that I'm not this guy. I in no way, I ever, ever intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable. This cast was amazing. It was very much like this room. It was sort of raucous. It's wonderful and irreverent and loving and personal. And, you know, we told personal stories. And I got to be, you know, I got to be Jeffrey and I got to play Maura.

And it was vital for the community. I'm so part of it. Regarding, you know, how I left the show, I just want to say I never, ever, ever, ever intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable, ever. It's just not who I am. It's just, I mean, I have, my wife is here and I have character default deep defects and she has the list that we're going to distribute but but this

we loved each other we were irreverent we were honest we were vulnerable we had stories that were very very personal we trusted one another. It was a set like, we were raucous. It was a set like no other. And there had to be, of course, instances where my interaction with these lovely people could have been mistaken way other, way other than how I intended. And I have profoundly apologized. And I apologize now

if I made anyone, anyone feel vulnerable. And I'm sorry it ended the way it did. But I just want to say, you know, I have to say it, I'm so proud of playing Maura and part of the LGBT community and getting that important message out. And it's a highlight of my life. And I just can't let the day go. Sure.

And I can't leave this studio without saying something. And I love you guys. And I just want to thank you for listening. Of course. Well, thanks for speaking from the heart. I would never leave, you know, I just know here we are joking, laughing and I'm sure listeners are going, well, isn't

he going to, you know, and that's the first time I've spoken about it. So, here we are. Well, we appreciate it. Thank you. And I'm sure the people that you worked with appreciate it as well. Yeah. It's interesting because you said that some actors get— I'm a nice guy.

I know that. You say some actors get— No, no, but I am kind. I'm a kind guy. I've always gotten that impression. You know what my son said to me? What's that? I don't think I want to tell you.

No, you know what my son said to me the other day? We were doing his homework, and he turned to me and he said, Can I say something? I said, yeah. He said, you're nicer. Not nice.

That cost about, you know, that, that made it all worthwhile. Are you crying? No. Oh, anyway,

did I kill, did I just kill the room? Not at all. No, no, that was terrific. No, not at all. Thanks for being terrific no no thank you not at all

thanks for being so honest and so forth i can't be any other way you know we talked on the phone too and you you know you had is that the one where you had to catch the bus no but you were you were saying we were talking about well that's why i bolted the first time because i was i was uncomfortable because i i don't know i i i you know i just uh i don't know i don't know this show we we intended this show to be a tribute to the people that we love. Yeah, what the fuck is a tribute, by the way? And come from them. And when is it going to be a tribute?

Well. Because all I do is the host hurling insults at me. I do want you to tell the story of calling your dad when you were on Kojak in New York. Well, does everybody remember Kojak? Sure. Remember? Totally. You know, with the lollipop.

It was my first job, and I called home, and I said, Dad, I'm on Kojak. And he said, what number? And I said, oh, oh, two. I'm on two. And he went, oh, it's good. Yeah, we get two. Four, four not so good. Four is a little, and it was just a different time.

But as I was telling Frank on one of our several phone calls, I also, my debut was Kojak, and we shot up at Grant's Tomb. Yeah. Yeah, on arguably the coldest day of the year, century. And for some reason, we were out in the cold for a hell of a long time. Joan Hackett, is that her name? Joan Hackett, yeah, great actress. Wow.

Dodd Young. Where did that go? That directly from my toughness, ladies and gentlemen., great actress. Wow. Dodd Young. Where did that go? That directly from my... She was great. Ladies and gentlemen. She was great. Yeah. And I had, I think, what they call an under five, where there's five lives in under, where you're not paid a fortune.

Anyway, it was so cold that when they said action, my mouth froze. My mouth completely froze. And my debut sounded like this. Cut. Print. Moving on. mouth completely froze and my debut sounded like this cut print moving on and that is my debut they showed it on the colbert show when you were on a couple years ago and you never even looked up you're looking why would i look up on the gurney i'm not gonna even listen to this show why would i why would I do such a thing? What are you writing down, Derek? I'll tell you something comforting, Jeffrey. Gilbert's never gone back and listened to a single one of these.

My brother. Here, give me five. You put it out there, it's done, right? Why? Is that how you feel, Gil? Why? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

All I do is go, oh, too thin, too fat. Do you know how much I weighed when I did Pollock? How much? 270 pounds. Jeez. No, wow. Wow. Fuck you, Jim.

Now, are you one of those people when you see yourself? Now it's three fingers. What's wrong with you? When you point at me, it's every finger. Is this an affliction? Go ahead. When you see yourself. When you see yourself, are you constantly going, why did I do it that way?

Always. Always. I'm just not. You know who else had that? My dear friend who passed, Jill Klayberg. She couldn't watch herself. So we would both go out to the, well, I i would just put my head down i'm i'm not a fan you have a great line in the book about watching you're watching the dailies with chino for injustice oh my god yeah you said i didn't in real life i'm

insecure about being bald but when i look up at that screen yeah it goes all the way back oh my god when i'm in the morning when you shave, you see the front part and you go, eh, I can get through the day. When you watch dailies, you go, I don't want to live. So Jack Ward was right. What? Don't watch the dailies. Don't watch the dailies. You know.

Gosh, I'm having a good time. Would you do a podcast with me? I'm sorry. You have to say yes. You're right. I'm so busy. Had you asked me before. Would you and Frank do a podcast with me live?

Okay. Yeah. Sure. The pay is minimal. Absolutely. What are you going to say? No? We're on the spot.

That would be great, wouldn't it, Steve? Yeah. How long have you been teaching actors? A long time. 50. 50 years. Yeah. 50 years?

I taught last night. I'm teaching at the richfield playhouse and that's wonderful in uh in richfield what's um like in in in like a couple of seconds or a couple of lines yeah uh the most important uh things about acting play play what play something that Play. What? Play. Something that you have in this room. Play. Don't forget play. Have fun. Be silly.

Have fun. Be silly. Make mistakes. Do you know the whole world now is, remember when we all went to school? Well, you didn't go to school. But remember when we all, well, the regular people went to school? I was a joke. Wow.

You have to do everything perfectly? Sure. Now the big thing is don't be afraid to fail. And they're hiring on that. I actually read an article where they said the CEO says, if you're not afraid to fail 50% of time you will be fired that's interesting yeah let me ask you something people write into this show and they do listeners of this show and they they wonder if gilbert is ever going to attempt to tackle a dramatic role do you think i don't see

it you don't see it i didn't even get the question out. Have you ever done a serious role? No, I don't think I've ever done a serious role. Does he want to do a serious role? He might. What would you like to do? Does it have to be an existing role? What's a non-existing role?

Well, a role written for him. Now, does the appendix move? I don't know know something's happening here if it's a bathroom joke i will sue you i will have my people sue you do you as the acting yeah think Sherry has the chops? We're going over you. I'm trying to move. We can't.

We can't. First of all, you're going to soil yourself now. I'm trying to move. I can't move. Have you heard of Herve Villachez? Who's Herve Villachez? You know him from Tattoo from Fantasy Island? You think that I know Tattoo from Fantasy Island?

You know that little actor? The French actor? Oh, great. Now I've offended the little French actor. You know the actor. Yeah. Yeah. He does a great impression.

All right. You know what I am? I'm just a foil. You're going to cut everything out, and it's just going to be a list of your fucking impressions. This is Herbie Villachez taking his shit. All right. All right. Oh, why don't they have more Rokhvich on Fantasy Island?

Oh, I can't. Why do I bother, Dara? I feel like a lead pipe is coming out of my head. Is he like this at home? Yes. How many bathrooms do you have, by the way? You have three? Does he have his own? I feel like a large boulder is coming out of my hands.

Unbelievable. You're going to wake up screaming in the middle of the night. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor i'm gonna pull some more stuff out of the book tell us why marty and earning and ernest porgnine was a turning point for you seeing that sarah theater i would stay after the morning show on a saturday i would uh and i and i remember saying because he wasn't you know he wasn wasn't Robert Redford good looking, nor was I. Now, of course, is a different matter.

Right. But. Did you ever meet him and tell him that? I never got a chance to meet him. Yeah. I met him. But he's a character actor. You know who the other one was?

Charles Lawton. Oh, Charles Lawton. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And I went, oh, and Ralph Richardson. And Tom Yule, you said that about in the book. Tom Yule.

That you saw him and you thought this is- I watched that on a loop. Seven Year Itch? Yeah. Yeah. He was great. He was great. You want to tackle a couple of questions from listeners that they sent me about you?

Sure. Rob Smith. What were Jeffrey's thoughts about working with Mel Brooks on Life Stinks, a movie Gilbert auditioned for and didn't get? I auditioned for it. I think you auditioned for my role. No, no. I auditioned for that, and I lost out to Billy Barty.

Who is that? The midget. The little actor? The midget. I believe they call them little person the midget who was not in funky monkey because he was american any any recollections about working with mel yes um i remember him directing me well this is a lesson for young actors in the room. Can I be didactic? Please. I was in a point, a little bit of a, as the actors say, a pause, let's say, between gigs. And I went to this guy, I was in the gym. And one of the things I teach is, you know,

if you need help, ask for it. Help, help, help. I walked up to Arthur Penn and I said, let me play the role. And he went, oh, I didn't even think of it. Sure. Ask for help. It's very, very important. So what were we talking about? About Mel and Life Stinks. And I went to the commissary, which I never do. Oh, so I walked up to this guy at the gym, and he was doing, what's the show? Doogie Howser. Yeah, you were on that show. Yeah.

And I said to the guy, I said, what are you doing? He says, Doogie Howser. And I said, oh, fine. What's my role like? And he went, well, you wouldn't do it. I was dead broke. I didn't have a cent to my name. And in fact, my business manager said,

I don't know how you do it, but you're at zero. I mean, you're actually at zero. And I said, well, how's my role? And he said, you wouldn't come on. I said, yeah, I would. And it was three scenes. Now, meanwhile, I had been, it's the same cast and crew.

It's Steve Ochoa. I'd been on Hill Street Blue. Right. As a recurring character. And there was kind of like a little feeling around the set, like, what's he doing here? People came up, everything okay? I said, yeah. And then I went to my friend Larry Pressman, said, let's go to the commissary.

And he said, no, I don't go to the commissary. And I said, well, you know, I've broken every rule so far. Go to the commissary. So I went to the commissary. And I said, no, I don't go to the commissary. And I said, well, you know, I've broken every rule so far. Go to the commissary. So I went to the commissary. I talked to this one guy. I said hello to this one guy that I hadn't been talking to in years. I waved, breaking all the rules. And at that point, he pointed way over in the corner. And it was, I didn't know. It was Mel Brooks. And he pointed to me like that. And then at the end, I walked over to Mr. Brooks' table and we said hello. And from one o'clock that day, I was being written into that script. So what I want to say to the young actors out there, ask. That's a great story. Really? Yeah. Oh. And so here's my first rehearsal with him. He said, okay, so you come into the door and you go over to the desk and you go, wah, wah, wah.

And then you turn on the lamp and you go, hoo-yah, hoo-yah, hoo-yah. And then you go over there and you sit down and you cross your legs and you go, nah, nah, nah. And then I said, no. And he goes, okay, do what you want. Hilarious. Yes. Here's another one. Bob Olson, I love the movie Radio Land Murders.

What does Jeffrey remember about that one? Did he enjoy, who did he enjoy working with? Great cast. Who was in that? Ned Beatty. Yeah. Brian Benben. Brian Benben.

Michael McKean, who's been on this show. Yeah. Yeah, among others. That's one you owe me, by the way's been on this show. Yeah. Yeah, among others. That's one you owe me, by the way. I'll send it to you. Yeah, good luck. They're going to put it on my tombstone. Oh, by the way, this just came in.

It's two videotapes. Any memories of that one? I remember that it went askew. Yeah. It started off, you know how I knew, and forgive me if I offend somebody here, but the director or somebody said, we were at a Thanksgiving meal,

we were in North Carolina, and he said, what's your, oh, I'm giving away who it is, what's your favorite film? And I said, Being There. It oh, I'm giving away who it is. What's your favorite film? And I said, Being There. It's one of my favorite films. It's one of the great films. Peter Sellers changed my life.

And he went, that's amateur. And, you know, that's a horrible film. And I went, we're going to go direct a video. Because the sensibility was wrong. But that happens. Mr. Mom was like that. Mr. Mom, people were saying, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, and look at that. Yeah, you said you're a bad predictor.

You thought Meet Joe Black would be a hit, and you didn't think Mr. Mom would be a hit. I thought there would be a parade. Yeah. And I would be lifted around in confetti. I even said to my agent, this is how arrogant I was. They said, now you have another audition. And I went, audition? I just did And Justice for All.

No, was that it? And Justice for All, is that what you're talking about? What movie are you talking about? I'm saying that you said in the book that with Meet Joe Black, you thought that was going to be a sensation yeah it wasn't and you didn't think mr mom was going to click right that's what happens we all know that that's what happens you can you can i say something sure what are you going to say no do you know that i have had it with people bad mouthing films uh we talked a little bit about it you know the relish with which people have attacked this

film cats or do little yeah i went to see i went to see do little because of the of the reviews and i went you know we got to stop talking about that any actor will tell you one minute of film is so hard to do of course we have to stop being mean oh now i sound like a salvation army uh but we have to stop being mean in these comments they're they're hurtful do you know my first review uh i did caliban in uh the tempest and uh the guy in the detroit news because i wore all these beads on my costume and it said jeffrey tamper's Caliban is a beaded bag gone wrong. Gilbert, do you remember any of your bad reviews? Do you hang on to them?

I remember I was in a movie and the review was Gilbert Gottfried is the worst thing to happen to show business since the snuff film. And let me ask you, how did that make you feel? That one, it hurt. But still made me laugh. Yeah. I love that one. People don't understand that they do hurt, you know.

And then, by the way, those wonderful friends. They read it to you. They read it to you. Or this on opening night. Opening night after the review. The second night where you go after you've just been eviscerated by the Louisville Courier. And you hear, yeah. And people going, I'm so sorry.

Oh, geez. I think you are one of the best actors. Anyway, have a good show. Yeah. I just got to tell you, I'm pissed. I mean, to say you're a beaded bag gone wrong. I mean, yeah, you've made some mistakes. But I mean, anyway, have a good show.

See you out there. Yeah. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Are you okay? And then you go out on, and you think everyone is reading the review as you're speaking. And you say, hello, and you go, what the hell's wrong with that? And then you go, come in.

You go, well, that was good. And you drive yourself insane. Somebody said, I forget who it was, they said, if you don't read your bad reviews, some good friend will read them to you. Exactly. And by the way, to all out there, but people, it's easy to call someone and say congratulations on the review. I think where you got to really get, you know, courage is when you, when someone gets knocked a little bit, you call.

I mean, it's easy to call somebody and say congratulations. Sure. On that. Frank wants to ask a question. This is from. No, that's okay. We're done with it. I want more questions. I love questions. to ask a question this is from no that's okay we're done with it i want more questions i love questions comment here from somebody when did you lose your hair no i want to read this to you sean 18 sean geerman or gillerman sean says the first

season of transparent made a very positive uh had a very positive impact and influence on the way i thought about the trans community largely because je because Jeffrey was considered an outsider who was willing to play such a controversial role with humor and sensitivity. Does he have any thoughts on what makes an actor authentic enough to play a particular part? That's a tough question. Well, but it's a nice comment. It's a great comment. How do you bring authenticity? You bring yourself. And you stop worrying what other people think of you. And, you know, my kids have a telescope. And they look in there and they look at the stars.

And they go, wow. And you must never lose the wow of yourself because most of us are leading our lives for other people trying to please mom and dad i teach young kids and that you know uh um and old kids and um getting back to the fork in the road, which is yourself, because we're trying to lead other people's lives. My dad cried when I told him I wanted to be an actor. Oh, that's interesting. Well, first of all, he cried when I lost my hair. No, he did.

He did. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was 17, 18 years old. He cried. And then even when he saw me on Broadway, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't what? Accept that that was the life that you'd chosen? Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. Even Broadway didn't. And being on network television didn't turn his head. No. television didn't turn his head no do you know i i once uh did a show and i brought it home in san francisco and everybody gathered around the living room and i was so proud of the show and everyone was watching the show and i remember my aunt saying oh look at those curtains now where did they get those curtains oh oh honey we should get those curtains and i went you know that was peggy lee singing is that all there is you know so try try pleasing

yourself we have that whole chapter in the book called fuck them which is yeah which is along those lines what's all about your wife's name genevieve genevieve. Genevieve, I really apologize for your last week. I mean, did you even see him? Go ahead. It's a great read. Fuck him. It's important advice. What's happening is when I first came to New York, I just didn't care.

I had bad reviews and I was fearless. And then all of a sudden the eyes get on you and you start to tighten a little bit. And then all of a sudden the eyes get on you and you start to tighten a little bit and God forbid, you know, you go like this. Hello, cut. Thousands of dollars in your hand and you go. You know, I've been sober 18 years. What's for you? Well, it's not the truth. Oh. No, I've been sober 18 years And it was largely that That got me all messed up

I've never announced that Wanting to please people? All of it I mean, just all of it The pressure, you know And I couldn't believe I was in repertory I made $55 a week

And then, you know, all of a sudden All this money And all this, you know, all of a sudden, all this money and all this, you know, for a script. And I couldn't accept it. I just couldn't. That's not to say you shouldn't send in your donations to Care of Gilbert. You must have this. I'm sure I know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Am I being a good guest? You are. You're great. Am I one of the best? question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Am I being a good guest?

You are. You're great. Am I one of the best? Yes. We're going to talk about it afterward. Am I? Yes, by far. Top ten?

Easily. Better than Michael McKeon? Oh, yeah. We love Michael. No, no. I know they're lowering the coffin. Can you just throw this in? It's a tape of Michael McKeon.

You seem to still have that perspective. You've worked with George C. Scott. You've done all these wonderful things, Max von Sydow, and yet you're still thinking about making that $55. So you're still in touch with those feelings. You're still in touch with what it means to be a struggling actor. That must help. Did I mention the house we're flipping in Armonk?

Yeah, yeah. You know what? I was happy. Even then? Not even then. To have the ability to walk on and do these roles. I loved it. I only wanted to be an actor.

That's all I wanted to do, because that moment between action and cut, I always thought they can't get me here. I'm safe. That's great. I'm safe. I'm in my element. I'm Jeffrey. My only problem is I've spent so much time being Larry, not Larry, Hank.

And George. George and Oscar. And all of that. Now that I'm home making a little meatloaf for the kids, I have to relearn to play Jeffrey. Not play Jeffrey. That sounds awful. Be Jeffrey.

Be Jeffrey. Or play Jeffrey. I want to also You left again This time Yes This time you really left You're not in the United States Yeah

You know if you want to Shut your eyes It's fine I'm in another galaxy Okay I want to plug two recent movies You did that are both great What?

Win-Win The Paul Giamatti picture Win-Win Tom McCarthy picture Tom McCarthy Really good Paul Giamatti Great cast Win-Win! Tom McCarthy picture. Tom McCarthy, Paul Giamatti. Really good. Great cast.

Bobby. Connavale. Connavale. Amy Ryan, who's coming here. Oh. She's going to be on the show. She does an imitation of me. She does.

Amy, I'm me. Amy, I'm me. Amy, I'm me. Would you tell her I send my love? Absolutely. Yeah. And I want to plug The Death of Stalin, too, which is terrific.

Oh, thank you. Another great ensemble guest. I love The Death of Stalin. And actually actually even as we speak a very important director is uh watching it right now watch it great it's it's terrific so plug the podcast again again you haven't even let me talk about talk about it who's on it where can people get it it's on itunes i assume it's everywhere get on mic so you see how it um it's on itunes anywhere you get anywhere you get podcasts anywhere they can get this show they can get yours and the story is that steve

came up to me and said you would you like to do a podcast and i said oh sure what is a podcast and uh and here we are and we just, who did we interview? Angelica Houston. Wow. And Dick Cavett. Great. And we have Tony Hale tomorrow. Love Tony Hale. Has he been on?

You should have Angelica's brother, Danny Houston. We had him. You know, I've been reading her book, and I don't know about this Danny Houston. He is wonderful. Yeah? Better than I, let's say? No. Oh. So you're in Death of Stalin?

Yes. Because... You have an imitation of Stalin? Stalin taking a shit. I don't know where I've landed. I apologize, Jeffrey. I don't know. I don't know if my career has moved forward,

backward, to the side. You have our lawyer's number? What? Podcast. My wife said podcast. Jeff, you're very unprofessional. This is Stalin. The name of the podcast.

Stalin taking your shit. By the way, I rescind the offer to come on. Why did I eat that borscht? I didn't know he spoke English. Oh, we're having Richard Kind on. He's great. Yes, and he said, because I said I'm nervous, he goes, they'll treat you. Live show.

I'm doing a live show with Richard Kind. Where? At the Bedford Playhouse, March 14th. I got to go to that. Would you go? I will. $45. We're doing a live show with Richard Kind. Where? At the Bedford Playhouse, March 14th. I got to go to that. Would you go? I will. $45. We're doing a live show with Richard Kind.

You want to give it to me now? Because parking is very expensive. Yeah, I'm doing that. And what else, Josh? Cat. You're getting great guests, Jeffrey. Oh, yeah. Yeah, wonderful.

Richard's been on this show four times. He loves you. He loves you. And I played that one. And we had Armando Iann, wonderful. Richard's been on this show four times. He loves you. He loves you, and I played that one. And we had Armando Iannucci on. He's a genius. And who else do we have on? We've got Will Arnett coming up.

Will Arnett's coming up on the 19th. Your bookings are better than ours. No, that's not true. Wow. Most of them don't do bowel movement impressions. Well, I might as well. I've never been on a show quite like this. No one said, by the way, I have to tell you something about Gilbert,

that every other imitation has him going to the bathroom. Otherwise, I would have taken flight yet again. I would have been out here. Hey, thanks for letting me talk about all that with Transparent and letting me be so on. I love you guys. Can I come back again? Please.

I'm sorry. I would love that. I would love that if you closed and locked the door and said, that Jew is not coming back into this place. We want to thank a couple of people, too. We want to thank Kathy Schaefer and Teresa and Judy Twersky and all the people. How do you know Kathy? We know her.

Well, Paul's been on this show. He's a friend of Darren Gilbert's. Oh, yeah. And I know him, too. You are really going to come on our show? We'd love to. Do you know that actor Eugene Paulette? Oh, yeah.

He hated the Jews. He hated Jews and blacks. This is no way to close an episode. No, it isn't. We were doing great. And this, this goes scissors. Get those scissors out, baby. Oh, you and I will make the edit together, Jeffrey.

Yes. Are you going to send me this? Absolutely. I'll send you the rough cut. The book is called Are You Anybody? A Memoir. It's wonderful. It's funny.

It's also an acting guide. Is there anything I should be saying? Well, I'm looking at my... Did I do okay? You did great. Really? You came here to learn. Oh, yeah.

We want to learn how to do this. And what did you pick up? Not much. Not much. We're doing fine. Can I say something sincere? Thank you for the gift of Hank Kingsley. That's a great contribution to the culture.

And I mean it. Entertain me for years of my life. L'chaim. L'chaim. L'chaim. It's with a chach. People from Sidley go, L'chaim. Here,

L'chaim. Can I say something? You can't. You actually can't. In fact, you actually can't. You've ruined this show. And it's your own show.

The show is ruined. This will never be seen or heard. Gilbert, shall we say goodnight to this man? But first, I want to say, fuck you, Jeffrey. Fuck you, Gilbert. Yeah, okay. Right. Come back, Jeffrey, another time.

I'll do what I want Can I come back? Absolutely Now, do I get paid for this? It's what Paul Williams calls a hard payment Can you just do my parking? Do you know how much my parking is? It's $41

What can they do to your car? No It was $560 You don't have that kind of money is there anything i should be saying thank you to our serious group we've been talking to jeffrey tambor yeah don't do it you got that look you want to do another thing with a grunting name an actor go ahead okay i will marlon brando does everybody know that i'm putting on my coat

does he do this every time? Well I can't squeeze Can I ask you something? I can't squeeze this one out Is he alright? No Oh jeez And he's paid for this, is that correct?

He's on a spectrum Yeah Okay I'm trying to push out a log He's on a spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm trying to push out a log. I'm out of here. Say goodnight, Gilly. Jeffrey, thanks for this.

Who are we playing? Yeah. That's good. Hey, Dara, my apologies, and I'm sorry for you. This is one of my favorite episodes, Jeffrey, and I mean it. Thank you. Thank you. This is one of my favorite episodes, Jeffrey, and I mean it. Thank you. Thank you. I'm I'm I'm I'm