Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Jim Gaffigan Encore

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday of actor and comedian Jim Gaffigan (b. July 7) with this ENCORE of an interview from 2015. In this episode, Jim joins Gilbert and Frank at the famed New York Friar’s Club to weigh in on subjects ranging from the lost art of “ethnic comedy” to the healing powers of stand-up to the caste system of the entertainment business. Also, Jim “opens” for the Pope, treads the boards with Jackie Gleason’s grandson, struggles to capture Manhattan on film and writes ad copy for Downy and Hardee’s. PLUS: Myron Cohen! The hunchback makes out! The comedy of Nat Hiken! The genius of Cloris Leachman! And the “biggest Goy in the world”! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hurry before it's gone. DQ, happy tastes good. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santadre, and this is all taking place at the legendary Friars Club in New York City, where if you look at the plaque when you first walk in, it says Jester Gilbert Gottfried. Ah, yes, very good. Our guest this week is an actor, author, voiceover artist, and one of the most successful and popular stand-up comedians in the world.

He's appeared in hit TV shows like That 70s Show, Ed, Portlandia, and Bob's Burgers, and starred in two Grammy nominated comedy specials. He's also authored two best-selling books, Dad is Fat and Food, a Love Story. His new series, The Jim Gaffigan Show, has received glowing reviews and has featured everyone from Chris Rock to John Stewart to former amazing colossal podcast guests, David Tell and Steve Buscemi and Jim's co-star, Adam Goldberg

and let's not forget, Gilbert Gottfried. Please welcome fresh from his command performance for the Pope, a man far too important and busy to be caught dead appearing on this show, our pal, Jim Gaffigan. Oh, thank you, thank you for having me. This is an honor, Gilbert. Yes.

This is cool that we're doing this at the Friars, too, right? Oh, yeah. Now, let's talk about your first special. Okay. Bitches be sucking my dick. Yes. Now, I'm known as a clean comic, but the reality is that I have this new line of anal plugs. What's unique about them is that they have my face on them.

This is different than I thought it was going to be. He was much different. I didn't understand this. I wish they could see how many cards he has laid out. Now, you, I heard, don't like to be called a clean comedian. Well, do you want, I think comedians want to be known as funny, really. So anything else, I think good-looking comedians don't want to be known as good-looking. I hate it. But yeah, I just would rather be known as a comedian who happens to be clean because God loves him more. It's an advantage of being the chosen one.

You know, Dara, Gilbert's lovely wife and the co-producer of this show was saying before you got here, she said, Jim and Gilbert are polar opposites. Jim is, Jim works clean, Gilbert works dirty, Jim likes working with his wife, Gilbert does it grudgingly. But don't you feel as though, I mean, you could get the most different comedians, but I think in the end we're all weirdos. Oh yes. There's something, even if somebody's, like if Carrot Top was here right now, he would

feel like a brother, wouldn't he? Oh yeah. Right? It is that thing of like the psychoses are all the same. And everyone looks at the spouses or the partners of comedians with a certain like, oh, wow, you, you're sucking that up. You're trudging through that. You thought it was going to be easier.

These strong women that think they're going to fix us. You know what? I use a fixer-upper. It's like trading a tiger. They're not puppies. Right? And now you actually love doing stand-up. I do love it. Yeah, I love it. I mean, I feel, uh, it's don't you feel great after a set or do you feel or you somebody who never feels good after a set? Well, I my fantasy

Right before I'm about to go on stage Is that the manager is gonna come backstage and go there was like a fire or a flood Here's your check go home. Yeah, that's it. I mean, I just feel as though stand-up can cure me of life's Afflictions like so if I'm tired doing stand-up can make me it gives me a boost of energy and then I can't sleep but if I'm sad it can change my mood if I'm if I'm Overly confident it kind of balances me out as to what, where I should be.

So I feel like stand up, you know, like I always think it's strange when people are like, can you believe Seinfeld's doing stand up? I'm like, he doesn't have a choice, everyone. Yeah. It's like once you're a comedian, you have that heroin in your system, right? Well, it's like when the biggest news story in the world was, did you see Eddie Murphy was doing stand-up? Yeah. And I thought...

It's not that weird. It's not like a quarterback playing in the 50s and then, you know what, he's going to be playing for the Giants this weekend. It's not that rare. Here we are at the Friars. There are 90-year-old comedians that go up that can barely move, and then when they get on stage, they kind of light up. Gilbert's one of them. Yes.

You're not jaded about it. I found it interesting to say, you know, to read that you're still grateful. You're still surprised that you're in show business, coming from where you come from? Well, I am grateful. I think that, I mean, Attelle and I always, because Attelle's complaining all the time. I mean, we're all complaining.

Yeah. But I do think that, like, I don't take for granted that there are a lot of people that have horrible jobs, I don't take for granted that there are a lot of people that have horrible jobs that don't get to do what they like. Not only do we get to do what we like, we also make a living. There is something about stand-up, I think, is the one meritocracy in the entertainment industry.

It's horrible because it's in the entertainment industry, but it's like you either can make people laugh or not. And it's not as if, you know, like, look, there's, there's, it evens out every now and then, but it's essentially, you know, people are talented. Dane Cook's talented, you know, uh, Carrot Top, all these people, people might have, you know, like they might be jealous a little bit, but it's not as if comedians that you don't necessarily like their style of comedy, they're either good or bad and they get the job done.

And if they don't get the job done, we kill them. And you know, it's, it's funny because I always complain about where I am in the business, why am I heated, and the thought I always get in my mind is I envision my father sitting across from me and saying to my father who ran a hardware store in Coney Island saying, oh God, it's awful. They put me in this hotel room, yeah, they're paying for it. But I gotta for like about 45 minutes to an hour tell jokes and then get off stage.

It's like I got there and there wasn't free water or free drinks. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's that that being said I think I was very I Think I was very frustrated and bitter at the beginning Like when I started stand-up, I think I was somebody that Did stand up for six weeks and was like, all right. Well, when am I gonna be on letterman? Oh, yes I think I was very Frustrated I'm not I don't think I'm really great at navigating the entertainment industry. Here we are at the Friars, which is this legendary place where comedians hang out. I love comedians, but a group of comedians, I don't know if I'd want to be in a room

with like... Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like the worst ad for the fries, but it's okay. It's like one of those things where, and I have friends and I saw a poster, they're doing a show and I'm like, I, you know, I have a certain amount of anxiety when I see, uh, more than three comedians and I love comedians and, but there's, I mean, one-on-one or,, or maybe two or three, that's fine, but if there's like five or six, that's stressful for me.

So there's some of, when I started, I guess the point I was getting to is when I was starting, that whole being deferential to the comedy club manager and kind of schmoozing people so that I could maybe open for them. I was horrible at that. And I can kiss ass like nobody. I really am. I'm not saying I'm not, you know, like I don't do that.

I don't beg. I will beg. I just don't know how to do it. Like, Greg Giraldo got me tons of spots because I would go with him and we would go out to Long Island and I wouldn't know how to talk to these guys. To them I look like John Tesh.

You know, so they're like, they're like, who is this guy? And Geraldo would be, he's funny. You should let him do a spot. And so, yeah, so like that, part of that process, and I sometimes, like when I think about like where I am in the entertainment industry and dealing with agents and going to parties,

in the end I really don't want to go to these parties. Oh yeah. Like red carpets and stuff like that, it seems like it's really fun, and then you get there and you're like, this is horrible. Why are we pretending we're at a ball where they were just showing some animated movie an hour ago. It's weird.

Speaking of the late great Greg Giraldo, is Adam's character a composite of Dave Attell and Greg and Todd Barry and some of our other friends? Yeah, you know what's great is he's all those guys, but we realize that now, because we're so lucky that we didn't cast a real comedian, because a real comedian has a real career. And so if we had cast David Tell, we would have to, you know, David Tell is a human being who might be like, I don't know if you want to, I want to be this guy, but Adam's such

a great actor. And so, we're in the process of writing another season and he can do anything. He can be any kind of monster, cause if you know Adam Goldberg, he's not a monster. I mean, he's crazy, but he's not like, like we can make him the most lecherous guy in the world, but if it was David Tell, we wouldn't be able to do that.

But yeah, he's got some merit. And he's got, you know, we pick and choose, right? He brings so much to the show. Yeah. He's great. Yeah. And you were saying about red carpet. And I heard this recently, and I never thought of it before.

And that's like they say, the photographers on a red carpet, all you really need is one photographer there to take a bunch of shots and mail them around. Yeah. Well, I think what's fascinating about a red carpet, at least for me, is that that's where you see where you are in the entertainment industry. Like Jennifer Lawrence Very talented very beautiful. They're excited

Even when you would get out and you would get out of your car at Letterman The photographer would kind of raise the camera like oh, yes, I guess I'm here Like in case his plane goes down, you know, I wanna I but other than that, it's really weird. I always feel like, well, I don't know how many times this has happened to me where there's a group of paparazzi in the street or at the airport and they'll take pictures of me and I'll go, all right, who are you really here for? And it'll be like Jennifer Aniston they heard heard it's going to be showing up there. Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely.

It's always, but that's kind of along the lines of the character actor kind of thing. Yes. It's, you know, the entertainment industry, as liberal as everyone is, it's like downright feudalism, right? There's kings and queens and, you know, jesters, and we're like these strange jesters that entertain us. You see the corporate events, entertain us. Yes. And then be gone.

And I feel like when people take pictures of me at these red carpet things, it's almost like an insurance thing. Like, let's say I shoot somebody later on in the night, they have a photo of me. Absolutely. It's like, we're here, it's, you know, it doesn't matter. Something could happen that gets them in the news. And you see how it's like contagious,

like one person takes a picture. You see that when you're like in a restaurant and someone's like, Hey, can I get a picture and you know, people, you know, you're like, all right. And then people are like, well, maybe I should get a picture with that guy. I don't know who he is. Maybe that's, I've had it happen where someone is excited to see me and wants a picture. And then someone else goes over and goes,

why did they want your picture? Who are you? And then they want a picture. Yeah. Oh yeah, I used to have, after every show, I would meet, I would sign autographs and meet everyone. And it was great, it was great. But there was so much,

like a 15 year old shaking your hand. I don't know how old that kid is. But you know, there's certain experiences. They're not impressed or they're impressed and they're very, when you're 12 and you have sweaty hands or they're just learning sarcasm. So they attempt to be sarcastic, but they're just highly insulting. Oh, you're fat.

And you're like, hi, how are you? And then, but there's also like the guy that doesn't want to be there, but is there because of his wife or girlfriend. I don't want to come. She wanted to come. And like, why would you even tell me that? And then there's a thing of like what I call good fan, bad fan. Like where two people are there and one will say,

you're great, oh my God, everything you do is great. And then their friend is there giving you a dirty look. Yeah, it's strange. And I think it's more of, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know these people, but I don't know if, like if you and I are sitting at a diner, people are like, wow, it's Gilbert and Jim, we can bother them.

But I think with like Brad Pitt, they're like, oh my gosh. We don't want to interrupt Brad Pitt, he's beautiful. You still think, no matter how successful the comic is, he's still from a lower class, a lower rung on the showbiz ladder. I think it's, I mean, I think it's, yeah, I think there's also, you know, stand up, there is no fourth walls. It's a conversation, whereas when we watch someone even in a play, you know, or Jennifer

Aniston, she's untouchable. It's this thing, she was on that magic screen, whether it's big or small. But like a comedian, they were talking to me. So, I don't know. I'm a great guy. And also with comedy, it's like when comedians want respectability, they take a dramatic role. Yeah, it's very, I think it's interesting because there's, you know, comedians want that, right?

We're relatively serious people, right? I mean, we're cynical people. Yeah. But I always think it's, you see this all the time with like, television actors will get successful. I see this all the time with television actors will get successful. I think they want credibility, but there's also the character-y guy that gets success and success makes that guy think that he's suddenly good looking.

You see that where people are like, they're posing and you're like, dude, you're the dork. That's why. There's nothing wrong with being the dork dude you you're the dork that's why there's nothing wrong with being the dork but you're the dork that's why and they're like no I'm actually but it is confusing when you get attention I don't know if this is ever encountered it's like I never got any attention from

women until like my early 30s and And initially I was like, oh, they're just being nice to me because I was on the stage. They're being nice because I'm funny. And then around 35 I'm like, no, these women like me. They think I'm hot. You know what I mean? It's like, I know that sounds delusional because it is delusional.

But do you understand the word like, the miscommunication of affection? Like you're like, well, if she thinks I'm funny, I should probably be, we should be naked right now. I mean, I'm married and I have like a thousand kids, but I remember just thinking, because that's parallel to the character guy that gets successful and is like, now I'm good looking.

Even the hunchback in Notre Dame, there was probably like, I don't know if that's based on a true story, but there was a moment where it's like, you know what? People are into this hump. Oh yeah. Right?

This hump's pretty good. You know what I mean? It's like, I mean, humps on other guys, but the combination of the hump with my hair, it works for me. you know what I mean? Check, stick it. You enjoy every part of stand up, Jim. You don't like the road anymore, do you?

Because you got five kids and you miss them. Yeah, but you know, it's also a great break. Yeah, you still romanticize that too? I think the first night out of town is amazing. It's like, I'm sleeping in a nice bed and I know I'll be able to sleep in. There's not gonna be a foot in my face or something like that.

But the second day I'm like, oh what am I doing? It's like I start hearing cats in the cradle and I'm like, I should go back there, right? Just to maybe pick him up from school. Like, I don't know, do you go to school in the morning? Not that much. No, I don't. You don't apologize to that.

Dara does that. Who does? Dara does that. Yes. He doesn't do that. And you know, because we're nocturnal people, and we're horrible people. Yeah.

But like, the morning thing, it's off the table. Here's the thing that's great about having five kids. I probably had to participate more when there were like three or four, but now there's five, I'm just like, you know, it's rather than amongst each other. Let's hire some people. We got to get some help here. But the morning I don't do. But when you're out of town, you also have to be up at four

in the morning to do, you know, Captain Jim and Wacky Joe and their morning zoo. Yeah. No, it's, there's something really especially awkward about some of those morning shows that, that is, I mean, it's very humorous how you walk into a situation and sometimes they just, they'll turn on you, like they'll be nice, but like one guy will turn on you.

And it won't be super hostile, but they'll just be, it's just like subtle, they'll be like, oh, this guy. Oh yeah. And you're like, oh my gosh, they're turning on me? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know? But it's a strange dynamic. You're a guest on their show, but it can be awkward. And I always feel like what makes me awkward.

Usually I'm okay with the radio, but the early morning TV show. That's very, that's very hard. Right. Cause that's cause they're all, you know, cause I think they have the role of newscaster and they're all dressed like Hillary Clinton. Yes. They're attractive people. They're with a teleprompter and some of them have not great interview skills. And they act like they know your comedy,

but they have no idea, right? And I also feel like you could travel to Mars and do an early morning TV interview and you wouldn't know the difference between any part of the world. But there's some exceptional ones, right? Some are good, yeah. Like WGN Morning Show, that's fun.

Yeah. Some of it, I think they're kind of, or maybe I'm just comfortable there, but you can do anything, but other ones, they're very serious. Your old sitcom was set in that world, Welcome to New York. Yeah, yeah. The one you did with World Wide Pants.

Yeah, so it was, yeah, we did, you know, it's weird because that was 15 years ago. You and Christine Baranski, I remember the show well. 15 years ago. It's crazy. Before that guy was born. So here, let me tell you, let me tell you this. This is crazy. I mean, this is nothing. So I was doing this show, this event, and the woman who was in charge of everything backstage was, she goes, I went to the same college as you. And I go, oh wow, that's weird. I go, what year did you graduate?

No, she said, what year did you graduate? And I go, 88. And she goes, oh, that's the year I was born. Oh. Oh, god. And I just remember going, oh, oh. She was in charge of the whole thing. I mean, I knew she was in charge of the whole thing, but I didn't know that I was ancient. I didn't know that I was a grandparent.

Yeah, that's something that always comes as a shock to you. It's like, you're like, oh, I didn't know I was 100. We should point out who Jim is referring to as our sound engineer's brother, and how old are you? 14. He's 14. There you go, you were right. 14, he just got out of jail. He's a fund engineer's brother. And how old are you? 14. He's 14. There you go.

You were right. 14. He just got out of jail. Let's talk a little bit about your background, Jim, because now Gilbert said his father ran a hardware store. You're from a family of bankers and conservative Midwest. Yes. And I loved your line about how the closest thing to show business where you came from

was the marching band. Yes, definitely. When I say conservative, I don't mean like Rick Santorum. Right. You mean like button down. It was like, yes. It was after tons of generations in the United States. My dad went to college and he got the white collar job.

It was a huge thing. There was no country club there, but they would have been country club people. Pursuing something like the entertainment industry was strange. I was raised to get a job that I didn't like and work till I was 60, play golf for five years and die. And that would be a good life. And at these events, you're 10, what did they say about the Jews? The Jews?

Going right for it, huh Gil? Yes. See, but that's, I mean, I look as Aryan I do as I do normally Your hair is darker. I know I was meeting a Jew. I was like I'll dye my hair Maybe I'll mix it But it is weird it is weird it is I mean I think it's weird that there are Country clubs that are Jewish country clubs. Don't you think that's a little insane? Oh, yes I mean, but did you grow up you grew up in a Jewish community, right?

No, like you knew there was an Italian guy who had a pizzeria No, but it was diverse. I yeah, I remember well I grew up in The Crown Heights section. I was mainly like black and Puerto Rican. Where you guys would beat up the black people. Yeah. The Jews beating up the black people. Yeah, like, like way blocks up or the Hasidim,

but no, I wasn't in that one. Are you from Coney Island proper or Crown Heights? I was born in Coney Island. Okay. So like Alvy Singer. Oh yes. But not under the roller coaster. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

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Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits varied by card terms apply You said something in so back to Jim's anti-semitism He doesn't stay with one thread very long with it no tell us about what they said about the Jews You know here's the great irony. Yes. Or the thing that I think is interesting is,

look, I'm very white bread. I'm from Indiana, which is like, oh my gosh, they don't even have, you know, they didn't have, like the exotic restaurant where I grew up was an Italian restaurant. Like that was, it was like, should we go for international cuisine cuisine like Italian? Yes.

It was that, but where I grew up is northwest Indiana, which is on Lake Michigan, which is Rust Belt. So there was a Jewish community. There was, there was a huge Mexican American population. And so, but because I'm so white bread and because I'm from Indiana, people are like, this guy's never met a Jew before. They're like, I can't walk in. When I started standup, that was an ongoing thing with Attell.

He would be like, at the Klan meeting, do you guys do pledge allegiance? But I think that, you know, even kind of like how we're joking around about that, I almost miss that aspect of New York comedy where there were different kind of genres of comedians. Like there was an Italian Brooklyn comedian who was a good-looking Italian guy whose mother told him he should be a model and he was kind of funny and dumb and there was like a specific type and there was just like different types of comedians and I was kind of the reason I had jokes about Indiana is like everyone had to have an ethnicity when I started standup, and so my ethnicity was white bread. I kind of loved that era because it was also, we were all kind of of this different, but we're all weirdo comedians, but it was, it's weird.

It's obviously progress is better than staying there, but it's strange that some of that family culture stuff, it was like, so what did you do? Did your parents have sex through a sheet? It was just these broad cliches that were fun, but it was something that has disappeared, I think, from comedy. Comedy used to be more blue collar, I think. More working class. Oh yes.

And now it's much more, you know, little Ivy League. Well you don't see Jewish, you know, classic Jewish comedians or Italian comedians anymore the way you had Pat Cooper and the way you had Freddie Roman or Myron Cohen. Yeah. It was kind of like, I always thought like Robert Klein and David Steinberg came at the same time and they were like the- Of the collegiate kind. Yeah.

Yeah. That broke that mold. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it also, it got, I mean, this is where I'm kind of a nerd about this. There used to be more specific types. So in other words, Robert Klein was very observational, like similar to Seinfeld was very observational,

and you were eccentric and kind of offbeat, and now it's getting blurrier and blurrier, meaning country and an RNB kind of combining, where it used to be, like if you look at Chris Rock, he's very much a monologist, But he's an observational guy, but with a dose of social commentary. But now everyone is kind of a little bit everywhere. Like there's less of the classic clown comedian,

like Mark Cohen, a clown. He was like, he was a clown. Mark Cohen, funny guy. And the preacher comedians, like there would be people that would be, be Sam Kinison or Bill Hicks or even Merrin. Merrin's kind of this railing against and I think it's kind of blurring where you have to be a combination of a bunch. Fewer gimmick comedians too like where you had Professor Erwin Corey or where there was

a character. Yeah, there was the guy that was the coach. Bill Kierkenbauer? Yeah. And then there was the guy who was the German guy, Franz, whatever he played. I mean, talking about a stereotype that doesn't even necessarily exist really. I mean, the Germans having no sense of humor, it might sound weird saying that now, but like 20 years ago it was like, yeah, they have no sense of humor.

Also it's funny. It's just like, just recently I did a club in Peoria. Yeah. And that was always a joke name. Right. Hey, I think my agent got me booked in Peoria. Yeah. And, but you go to any of these places and you realize they all have the internet. Yeah. They all have cable. They all have everything. Yeah, and it's, there's a whole generation, like when I was starting off in standup,

it was, I mean, I had watched comedians on The Tonight Show. there were some really resourceful comedians that would be like, you go to the Lincoln Center and they have tapes and I'm like I'm not doing that. But now these guys, I mean there was, I remember witnessing when, you know now nobody watches cable. Like, I'm sure these guys don't watch cable, everything's on, but it used to be.

If they have a TV. It used to be that cable, Comedy Central was on in every dorm room. And so, there was just like a generation that was educated on different types of comedians. Because it used to be, I think, that how an audience would behave, now they've watched people sit in an audience and not heckle. But before, people would come in and they would be like, from their experience, you're

supposed to participate. My wife's from Milwaukee, and her best friend growing up was, I remember when I went back, the first time I went back there, she's like, oh, it's great to go to this comedy club because we love to heckle. And I was like, you know you're not supposed to. And she's like, well, a lot of comedians like it.

So, I mean, we all know that there are those people that are like, I was helping you out there. But it used to be much more pervasive, right? And I just, this brings another thing to mind. I always feel like audience-wise, movies and TV always get strip clubs wrong, because in a strip club, in a movie or TV show, all the guys are, Oh yeah, baby. Woo. Yeah. Yeah. Take it. And no, that guys do not behave that way.

I've never been to one, but yeah, trust me. I've been to, I've been on both of us. I protested outside of stuff. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha.

Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Hahahaha. Subway. Oh, yeah, you want to get New York, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean I I think it's I mean you talk about strip clubs and and There's just I mean being a New Yorker and seeing You know I did a movie where I played a cab driver and it was like ten years ago and they're like

Oh, you're the cab driver. I'm like has anyone been in a New York City cab? It's like they don't look like me I mean, you know, you can find any type of person driving a cab. But so like, as a New Yorker, when you watch a TV show, like even Friends, you're like, wait a minute, all right, so that's the living room of their apartment. It's just, we've, Gilbert and I have talked about how every time you watch Seinfeld and they're walking through the streets,

there's nothing but steam coming out of manhole coverage. It's like hiding, how phone did it. Because they're in Studio City. Looks like they're walking through hell. So you really wanted to get the New York, authentic New York, Smith and Willinsky's and Katz's. I think, but I think that's also, and I learned this while I was doing it

because I would have all these, Genie and I would have all these meetings and we'd be like, no, we want it to be authentic and people would nod along because I think that's what everyone says. But even when Adam and I are walking to Katz's, there was a director who was like, you know what, it'll be more interesting

if you walk the other way. And I'm like, but people that live on the Lower East Side or the East Village are going to know that's wrong. And that would take them out of it. And it's funny, it's like Hollywood was the last place to realize that cab drivers no longer have like the little newsboy cab and are going, hey, those Yankees, huh? Yeah, they have a cigar. It's like, you'd think it was like, uh, you know,

it's like Hollywood's version of New York is very similar to like, uh, 777, uh, you know, like the, the Caramel Cab commercials, like they're Oh, yes! That's a weird, you know, like a local car dealership,

you're like, wow, someone should have told the guy not to do it. Warby Parker is making big changes to the eyewear industry with glasses that, now, here's something important about Warby Parker. They've already told me, as soon as I get my prescription to them, they're going to give me a free pair of glasses so even if I had 20-20 vision the idea of getting a free pair of glasses I would wear glasses that's great it's another pair of glasses for

us to search for at the beginning of every podcast episode when I get to Gilbert and Daras and he says, where are my glasses? And that takes 30 minutes. And then I have to find one pair of glasses to put on to help me find the other pair of glasses. Exactly. And now you've got to put them back on to read the rest of that copy. So once again, Warby Parker is making big changes to the eyewear industry with glasses that are made with the same high quality materials sold in boutique shops available at revolutionary prices, styled after classic vintage frames you don't have to put up with a few manufacturers that keep prices artificially high like where they'll charge $300

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You know what's funny when we talk about eyeglasses and I'm thinking about eyeglasses and pop culture and I'm thinking about one of your favorite actors Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone episode that I think is called Time Enough at Last. Yes. He's like a milk toast Bookworm who works in a bank. That's right, and there's a nuclear holocaust Yes, and everybody is everybody perishes and he finally has time and all the to read Yeah, and then he he manages he finds like this library and he piles up great books from every great author And then you want to tell him yeah, then he finds his eyeglasses and they're shattered and he can't and he can't yeah It's one of those great Twilight Zone ironies

Although what I always hated about that episode was he wasn't a bad guy. No. And why was he being punished? Exactly. If you're wondering if you could try Warby Parker's glasses for free, the answer is yes. So go to Warby Parker's free home try-on program. Go to WarbyParker.com slash Gilbert, choose five pairs, and Warby will send them to you so you can try them out.

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Yes, I know. Pain-free and free. Plus, with a low price and wide selection of styles, you can own several pairs to match however you're feeling, just like a hat or shoes, which you also like free. Yeah, because yeah, if there's any hat or shoe companies, send me hats and shoes.

Warbyparker.com slash Gilbert. Sometimes I'll see in a show that's supposed to take place in New York and they'll say something like, hey, you know, meet me on the corner of Central Park and the Empire State Building. Yeah. Like they'll know two kind of locations. Well, you know, it's also on this show, we go to Katz's a lot and...

There's a lot of pastrami on this show and you can't I mean I I could but you can't go to Katz's that much I mean you'd be yeah, but Some of it is also You know, this is totally It's like capturing that New York place because sometimes even sex in the city There are shows that shoot in New York and they go into some room and they're like, here we're shooting at the fanciest restaurant here but you can't tell it's a fancy restaurant. Sex in the City would do that.

You'd be like, oh, they're like, here we are at this fancy restaurant that you can't tell it's in New York City. So we wanted to, and Cats is, it's a big enough space where you can see what's going on and it can capture some of New York. It almost feels like New York Eateries are part of the cast of the show. There's Veselka, and there's, as I said, Smith and Walenskis, and it's really kind of like a little bit of a travelogue. Yeah, but I wish that, because I don't go out to dinner that often. Do you go out to dinner that often?

No. I mean, there are people that, I get emails, they're like, where should I go? I'm like, I have five kids, I don't know. I sneak away to Kat's, but I also like the closest, most convenient. I'd love the idea of a culinary adventure, but I'm like, I'm not gonna go to Greenpoint for a burger. The other thing that gets me is in movies when a character gives directions,

and they go, okay, you take the A train, and then you switch over to the IRT to get there, and I go, no, those trains wouldn't take you there. Yeah, no, it's, I mean, there was, I was working on something and I don't want to out the guy, but we were in around Penn Station and he was like, yeah, we should shoot here, capture some of Times Square. And I'm like, holy cow, this guy doesn't know. And you're like, Penn Station's pretty different from Times Square.

Speaking of New York, is this true or bullshit, Jim, that you saw the episodes of The Odd Couple when you were living in Indiana, and you thought, well, New York looks sophisticated. Yes, well, well sophisticated but also Gritty or something or energetic like it was probably just exterior show. I haven't seen the yeah It seemed like they probably shot the opening in an hour You can tell if you look close Oscars looking in the strip club window Yeah, which is long gone.

We should take a moment to say Al Molinaro played Murray the Cop, just passed away this week, since we're talking about the odd couple. And now that show's back on. What's the new one like? Oh, with what's his name from France? Matthew Perry. I watched about 15 minutes of it by accident. I was going, what is this exactly? So wait a minute, so Matthew Perry,

He's the Oscar. He's the Oscar. Yeah. Because when I think of Oscars. Oh yeah. He's the first. I think of good looking guys. Yeah.

Full heads of hair and that looked like they should be in an Antigua. And that's another thing that's weird with comedy. It's like there used to be this, you know, Nat Heiken who put on, you know, Car 54 and filled silvers with... Bill Bilko. Bill Bilko. Yeah.

And he liked funny looking people in comedy and Friends is like they stepped off a magazine cover. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have a friend that points out that Even SNL people on SNL Don't look like comedians. Oh, yeah that that that weekend update those people look like that that that weekend update those people look like newscast. Oh, Colin Jost. Yeah. I mean, who's a nice guy and everything. I'm not criticizing, but I think it's, I mean,

I had a joke a long time ago how, you know, when you'd see Halle Berry in a movie and she'd be like poverty stricken, the first thought is why doesn't she become a model? I mean, she looks like Halle Berry. You know what I mean? Or like when you watch a British drama and you'll see the female lead and you're like, well, she's obviously going to get killed, right?

But there is something about the beauty. We love beautiful people. And hey, look, I love beautiful people too, but it's, I love beautiful people. Hey, look, I love beautiful people too, but it's, I don't know, it seems kind of unrealistic, like realistic, like having, even when we're trying to get extras on the show, I think the tendency is, there's people from Connecticut that come in to do the extra thing. It's not the worst gig in the world, but's people from Connecticut that come in to do the extra thing. It's not the worst gig in the world, but they don't look like New Yorkers. I mean,

New York looks different than it did 20 years ago anyway, but that's for sure. But we love, America loves good looking people. And I remember Halle Berry in Monsters Ball. Yes. And I'm thinking she's the po black girl working in a luncheonette. I'd say get some pictures together. She could model. Yeah. Yeah. Or Michelle Pfeiffer playing a poor waitress. Oh my God. Yeah. That's you know, see that's and I heard I heard on stage they had Kathy Bates. Right. That's right. Because they could believe it. But then they have to get a good looking person. Yeah, what is it, Marty?

What was that? Oh, Borgnein? Yeah, Marty. See, like if they would do that today, they'd have Brad Pitt. Oh, yes. They'd be like, it's just like,

I can't get a date. Yeah. A fat, ugly man. Or like, I remember, and I mean, you know, he's certainly a good actor and everything, but George Clooney in that movie, the Descendants or something like that. Yeah, the one in Hawaii. Yeah, and I'm thinking, I can only feel so bad for him because I'm looking at him and

I'm going, he's George Clooney. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, no matter what his problems are, this guy could get laid in a second. I also have, I think it's strange that newscasters are good looking. I mean, there's no reason that we need to hear about Al Qaeda from someone wearing lip gloss. Do you know what I mean?

It's like, why? There's a hurricane in Houston. Why are you wearing an evening gown? It's weird. Well, I mean, I find they have hotter looking girls as anchor women than you could find on the Playboy channel or stuff. I mean, totally hot looking.

Especially on Fox News. Oh yeah. Where they're all blonde and blue eyed goddesses. Well they're doing that on ESPN too. There's like really attractive women. I only see them as a daughter or a mother. Dara was saying what a gentleman you are before you got here. I'm always a gentleman.

She said he is such a class act. Also Dara, my wife there, just said, she was looking up information on you. And she goes, she says very seriously and shocked, she goes, do you know Jim Gaffigan is from India? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's light skin seeks. Pale seeks. Do we have the chronology of this right? Before you even thought about pursuing standup, you went into advertising. I did. I studied finance in college because I did what I was supposed to. And then I hated that and a friend from college helped me get a job in advertising.

And even going into advertising, everyone in my family was like, oh, that's crazy. It's still a creative field, right? And I did that, but I started stand-up while I was doing that. We found it interesting that you wrote commercials. I was telling Gilbert you wrote commercials for Hardee's. But before we get off the advertising, this gets me to another thing about movies and TV. I would like to see a list of how many movie and television characters have worked in advertising as the job that they go to.

Yeah. Right. And then that's, I think that's why we're, we are so surprised how good Mad Men is. It's like they talk about advertising, but it's interesting how they use it. Right. That's right. Because we're used to like, you know, I work in advertising, let's go out to dinner. Oh, yes. There's no practical use of it for the story.

It's like, it's usually if you have a nine to five job in movies and television, you're in advertising. Well especially in the 60s, all the Jack Lemmon movies. Oh, Good Neighbor Sam. Right, he was always an ad man, or Darren Unbewitched. That was a cool job. Ad man. That was a very cool job because when I started in it, there was a book by David Ogilvie, I don't know what, maybe it was called Mad Men, I don't know, but it talked about, it was a

very, you know, it was a creatively fulfilling, it was a business job, it was before they had, people went and got an MBA so you could go in and tell a company what to do. It was really an interesting job that just essentially people going and getting their MBA made it. You worked for Olga Vian Mather? I worked for Gray too. And Gray Advertising? Gray, I was like the token goy. My dad was in advertising so I know these companies.

J. Walter Thompson was around then. When I worked at Gray, I first worked at, and I was kind of the token goy. At one point, they're like, I worked at Awe as an account guy on Downy, and they're like, all right, you know what? I was sitting on the thing, and they're like, all right, hey. They were like, all right, go and get a schlep bag for the things. I'm like, okay. I call up and I go, I need a schlep bag for the things. And I'm like, okay. So I call up and I go, I need a schlep bag.

And they're like. And then I went back and I go, I don't know what a schlep bag is. They're like, the biggest goy in the world. And how did you, I'm fascinated by the commercials you wrote, but in the interest of time, how did you make the transition from writing these commercials to, was stand-up a dare? Do I have that right?

Stand-up was a dare, but it was very much, I think it was something I always wanted to do. I had a big fear of public speaking, so I took this improv class, but I also was very interested in improv, and then it was a dare, but I was looking for someone to dare me to do it. That's interesting. It's like something, I remember when I was, the night before I graduated college,

I told a friend of mine, I was like, you know, I just want to be a comedian and an actor. And she was like, you should do that. And I'm like, but everyone wants to be a comedian and actor. And she's like, no, I don't. And I'm like, all right, well you don't, you should do that. I'm like, but everyone wants to be a comedian actor. She's like, no, I don't. I'm like, all right, well, you don't, but everyone else does. I thought, I assume everyone would want to do this.

I had always wanted to do it, but I didn't know anyone. But I did a stand-up seminar kind of thing because essentially someone held my hand. They didn't do that, but I performed in front of a friendly audience, but I was doing advertising at that point because I kept my day job for a long time. But I had no expectation. I think I had done stand-up for a year, and I was like, well, I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready for the piles of money. But it was a long journey to Letterman. And it was, yeah, and everyone in my kind of generation or group had gotten Letterman or Conan, and I would go on stage, and the bookers would kind of be frightened to make eye contact because I was the one that they were not interested in.

So they'd be like, hi. So it was, you know, I came to kind of this, this moment of peace where I was like, well, you know, I get to do what I like. Because I was very angry. You know, my friends were being wildly successful. And so I, you know, I got to the point where I had to sit there and go, all right, well, at least I get, I'm going to be the weird uncle who lives in New

York City, who does stand up, which I had no credits because if you did stand up, people are like, have you been on Letterman? No. Have you been on Conan? No. They're like, oh, that's interesting. You're a lunatic. And it's so funny when you start doing stand-up, all the people who'll say to you stuff like, you know what you should do? The Carson Show. Yeah.

Have you thought of doing that? Yeah. You know what? I never thought of that. Does Jim know you started at the tender age of 15? Oh yeah. Did you know that about him? I think I remember reading about you when I was, you know, there's a thick book about

comedians so I read all about it. I know all about it. Now it's on the internet. It used to be you had to get a book. You had to go to the Samuel French bookstore because they wouldn't even have books on comedy and regular bookstores so but yeah did some research the stories the stories behind the story we will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this you want to talk a little bit about your work as an actor sure you've done a lot of stuff and you did terrific work on a movie called the great new After this. For me, I don't have a great memory, so the auditioning process is painful.

And I think it's more painful for comedians because we're not used to waiting, so we have to sit there and wait. We have to take material that is usually we don't get or we don't like, and then we have to go in there and be kind of passive in this thing. I'm sure you've walked into rooms after you've spent hours preparing and they look at you and they're like, no. Yeah. You're like, if you could have looked at a headshot.

Save me the trouble. Yeah. And you're like, if you could have looked at a headshot, save me the trouble. Yeah. Yeah. And so, but I, I remember it's, it's like, I described it as stripping, except for you don't get a dollar because it's, you know, it's this strange. And it's just like the, the, you know, the dynamic of people are friends with the casting director. You have to act like your friends with the casting director. You have to act like you're friends with the casting director. You go in there sometimes you you're trying to be funny and then sometimes there are the people in the room are exhausted and tired and It's weird doing the show seeing it on the other side. My wife is just like I can't believe I did this for years

You know what what's weird is that? did this for years. You know what's weird is that the times that have been on the other side of the auditioning process, you do see it in a totally different way. You have compassion. Yeah. Yeah. And you go, you know, and I'm like the worst person to talk about this and that's when you see people come in and audition And you go oh, you know they say hi

Oh, I'll be reading for the part of Doug or whatever and you go I kind of like this guy and then when they start acting they're acting and it's like all of a sudden they lose Whatever was charming about yeah. Yeah, it's it's a really weird thing because it's like all of a sudden they lose whatever was charming about that. Yeah, yeah. It's a really weird thing because it's never the dynamic that you're in. And I also feel like I always felt like people that were really good at auditioning were people that had the advantage of a photographic memory. So in other words, they were good at memorizing things, which is different from the task of acting. So during pilot season, you'd sit there

and it would be somebody that had a photographic memory, would be better in the audition, but not necessarily right for the role. And I also think that it's such a crap shoot. It's such a crap shoot. And your agent tells you, oh, these people are really keen on seeing you. Oh, yes.

And you go in there and they're like, thank you so much for coming in. And then you walk in the room and they're like, who's this? You're like, remember you wanted to see me? And they're like, okay. And you're like, what the? Well, tell and they're like, okay. And you're like, well, what the. Well, tell Jim about Dick Tracy. Tell Jim about Dick Tracy. Oh, they had me come in and audition for the part of mumbles.

And they said, when we were writing this part, all we could think about is Gilbert Godfrey. You're the only person we don't want to even want to look. We're the only person, we don't even wanna look. We're not having, if you do this, if you don't do it, the part's not even in the movie. And so then I was assured I had that, and then they go, oh, they're not going with you. And I said, oh, okay, who are they going with?

And they go, going with you. And I said, oh, okay, who are they going with? And they go, Dustin Hoffman. And I'm thinking, so at what point were me and Dustin Hoffman going nose to nose on this? I've lost, I think it's because being a character actor is, it's very similar to, you know, it's like Code for Ugly, right? Oh, yes. And so it's like, I also have auditioned for parts, they like me, and then I'll say, who got it?

And they're like, Cedric the entertainer. And I'm like, so they switched, they went a completely different way. Like, I like- Cedric the entertainer. No, like they'll just switch completely, and you're like, why did I even have to audition? You're just obviously, and you're like, why did I even have to audition? Oh yeah.

Obviously, and then sometimes you audition for things just because the offer they have out is not set. So you're like, you're auditioning for something, but they're like, you know, if we can get Liam Shriver, we're gonna give it to him. But we gotta see if he's taken a vacation. Oh yeah. You know, so it's brutal.

It's humiliating. One time, years ago, my agent sent me up for this part and she goes, now play it straight when you go in there and play. And I went there and they were staring at me when I came in. And they said, you know this part is for an 80 year old judge, don't you? Play it real straight. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's just insane. It's insane. They just wanted to see you. I still at this point find it hard to say no to auditions. I'll be like, I don't know if I'm right for this. And they're like, well, why don't you just go in and waste a day? Why don't you just waste two days of your life?

You're like, well, I don't want to. It's like this is for somebody that I'm not this type. And they're like, just go in. Just waste your time. Oh, yes. And then you go in and then they're like, you know what? They don't know if you're the right type. I knew I wasn't the right type, but I can't say no One time my agent sent me for like a jeans commercial. Oh, I think of you for that. Yeah And I said to my agent I said well all the guys and girls in jeans commercials are like models. They're beautiful models.

And he goes, no, no, they're really trying to go for more character, funny, blah, blah. And I showed up and getting back to the hunchback of Notre Dame, I felt like Quasimodo in that room. The guys and girls are like gorgeous. Yeah. And it's like me. It's like I felt like a circus freak. I want to live in a world where Gilbert Gottfried for Jordan Ashby. Yes.

Wow. You got to go to another podcast, Jim, and we're probably running short on time. Oh, we should. Frank and I are always interested in character actors, old character actors you've worked with. Oh. Well, you worked with the great Brian Cox on stage. I saw you in that championship season. He was, I mean, that's, and it's interesting, his story, he was this guy who- He's from Scotland, which Gilbert knew, I didn't know.

Who did, who did, I mean, he would tell stories like, yeah, I traveled around doing lights for three years just watching these people act, and that's, I mean, it's really humble, some of the experience they do in the UK. Like, they don't do any acting for like 10 years before I got to carry one spear on stage. And I'm like, I wouldn't do that.

But I'm trying to think of like great character actors because I do love the great character actors. But... Mistaken for Philip Seymour Hoffman but never worked with him. No, I did. I improvised a movie for Bob Balaban that never, it was right before Philip Seymour Hoffman got huge. And I think my role on that championship season

was offered to Phil Hoffman. There was a lot of, and great and wonderful, that role was offered to Philip Seymour Hoffman. And yeah, no, I mean, I, you know, to this day, people are always kind of like, oh my gosh, I mean, I, you know, to this day, people are always kind of like, oh my gosh, you look, have you ever been told you look like Philip Seymour Hoffman? You look like a dead actor. Or this other fat white guy.

Have you ever been told you look like a fat white guy? That's what my Twitter feed is. Or like if there's a football player, people are like, this is like a thin, like if Jim Gaffigan was thin and good looking, this is what he looked like. They send me photos all the time. Well, you know, this show, we dive deep. We talk about obscure old show business. So, Eartha Kitt was, I was doing some research on, she was on Welcome to New York. Did you work with her?

I did. Yeah? And she was, she was pretty amazing. She was really Really the siren, but you know, I mean by the way, it's like I mean, I guess Claris Leachman's But like Claris Leachman is a genius. Oh, you've both worked with her. Yeah Oh, I think she's like like wow like it was when we were on the Ellen show She was so funny. I think Ellen was threatened at times. How talented Cloris Leachman was. And Cloris is crazy. But I would say Savant funny.

It's just in her bones. She could just walk across a room and get two laughs. She played straight roles early in her career. You see her on the Twilight Zone. She was almost Miss America. She was Miss Chicago. She was in that role in the last picture show. Right. Like a tragic part. Before she did big comedy.

I'm trying to think of other... I'm sure there's tons that I'm thinking of. You worked with Jason Patrick, who's Jackie Gleason's grandson. Do I have that right? I'm sure there's tons that I'm doing. You work with Jason Patrick, who's Jackie Gleason's grandson? Do I have that right? Yeah, I know there's a relation, but I don't... Yeah, and his father is the writer of that championship season, who was the priest in The Exorcist.

Oh, that's right! Miller. Yeah, Jason Miller. Jason Miller, right. And then, I wish I could remember any of this stuff. I'm trying to think of who else I've, I can't remember anything. Let's call us up and then we'll let it in. I'll call you up.

It's probably someone legendary. Like, oh yeah, that's right, I forgot I worked with Jesus. We also asked the guests if there was anything that they grew up watching that was kind of motivational, something that was really inspired. Gee, maybe I can do this with my life. Oh, you know, I've said this before. I think I saw Phyllis Diller on I think the Mike Douglas show and I was like, this is amazing.

Really? First comic you saw on television No, it probably wasn't the first but like it was Phyllis Diller and I can't remember the name He's from Ohio he's from Columbus, Ohio Jonathan Jonathan Winters Jonathan Winters and But you know Letterman was a huge thing being from, seeing him on TV and seeing Mellencamp on TV, this notion of they got out was a big thing. I remember I saw this, I can't remember the name of the movie, but my mom took my brother and I to this movie.

Must've been a matinee and it was a drama. And, uh, but we were at the chicken unlimited. My mom said, what do you guys want to be when you grow up? And my brother said a helicopter pilot and I said, I wanted to be an actress. I did. I was like, I want to be an actress. And the sad thing, I was 18 at the time. No, I was, I don't know what I was, maybe eight or nine, but didn't seem like a practical thing. No. And again, they didn't encourage you.

No, they thought it was this neat thing that Jimmy was doing. Jimmy's doing stand-up. Like when my dad, my mom passed away, my dad got remarried and the woman was very nice and she was like, maybe at the wedding you could do some stand-up. Oh yeah. And I'm like, I'm never coming back here. I never asked you this, Gil. What was your family's reaction?

See, that's the thing. I can only imagine what was going on in their heads, because that was like, especially, and I realize with myself, when I get, as I get older, I look at things more realistically. Absolutely. And so to say I'm going to make it and show business, it's like saying, I'll go to a seven 11, buy a lottery ticket and win a billion dollars and live off that. Yeah. Especially, you know, like you also have been at this. We've been at this long enough.

Like I think there's one thing to be a comedian, but there's another thing too, like actor? Actor, are you out of your mind? Oh yeah. Are you, like, cause I've always done the acting and stand up and it's, but if I was solely an actor, I would have gone crazy. Oh yes.

Like, or actress, like the way we just dispose of women in this culture. It is insane. It's like oh you're 26 Throw her away. Yeah, it can always do something you can always like for every Jennifer Aniston. There's like hundreds of very successful actresses that people like anymore no, yeah, it's like sometimes a movie comes up on TV and you go, oh, she used to be in everything back then. We talk about it all the time on the show. We've talked about Penelope Ann Miller and what happened to Bridget Fonda

and what happened to all these actresses that you used to see everywhere that just vanished. Some of them remove themselves, I suppose, but it's, and you know, then you see, to see everywhere that they've vanished. Some of them remove themselves, I suppose. Then you watch HBO shows. I don't know, I don't want to get into this, but they're also taking off their clothes and they're dry humping a guy. My joke is like, Dad, I got an acting role.

And it's fine if they're fine with it, but it's also that, you know, it's not like that. It's kind of like being in Stuff magazine. It's fine. I think it's great. I'm a fan of Naked Women, but don't think that that might help two out of the thousand women, but the rest of them are just in a thong in a magazine. There's another girl willing to show her tits. Aren't you glad you didn't become an actress? I'm glad I didn't.

But you know, we're both fans of naked women. I think I'm a fan. We've invited Mr. Skin on the show. Do you know he is mr. Skin? I think I was interviewed for skin website. There you go He's coming on Well, this has been Gilbert Here by the way Gilbert Godfrey Allen's why Bell is here by the way Gilbert Godfrey Allen's why Bell came in I'm Gilbert Godfrey. This has been Gilbert Godfrey's amazing

Colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre here at the legendary Friars Club in New York City and We've been talking to Jim Gaffigan, and please catch his new HBO special, Gotta Get That Pussy. I do. Thank you. Gotta get that. We didn't even talk about you performing for the Pope. Yeah, that's, I mean, there's a funny story about that.

I mean, that you would love. Maybe I'll tell you. All right, so first of all, let me set this up. All right, I'm from the Midwest. All right? I'm from the Midwest. I love the Northeast. I love the Northeast.

But you know, DC, really Baltimore to Boston, the Acela line, I refer to it as the corridor of hate. That is because there is an anger, an anger that is deep-seated in Boston and Philadelphia and Jersey. That is why the Revolutionary War started. I know it sounds like it's a bit. It's just a story I've told before. You know know like those guys in Virginia, like Patrick Hannon was like, give me liberty or give me death. It was like, but like it was the Boston guys coming down

going, yeah, we just started a war with England. Those Virginians were like, I was just talking. I didn't mean. And so anyway, so there is an anger there. Like, you know, it's a combat, which goes back to, you know, if you can make it in here in New York You can make it anywhere, but that applies to all the Northeast so I'm in Philadelphia. I'm Opening for the Pope, but I'm not opening for the Pope. I'm

Opening for the Pope mobile you know like I do stand up sister sledge comes on the Pope mobile drives around and so comes on, the Pope Mobile drives around. And so, I'm on the Ben Franklin Parkway, right? And what they've constructed is this outdoor stadium. They created this stadium. And then there's people on the parkway, there's people on the highway waiting to see the Pope, there's screens all around Philadelphia. But in this area that I'm in, it's relatively empty because later on the Pope's going to speak and Aretha Franklin's going to sing and Bacelli and all these things.

So I'm on the afternoon Republican debate. So I'm before that. So it's essentially an empty area and I'm doing standup. So I go up on stage and I'm doing some jokes about Philly and all this stuff. One of the jokes I said was, look, being very self-aware, I'm like, I know that after my set you're going to want to leave, stick around. There's this guy coming up that's amazing. He's 78.

He used to be a bouncer in a dance club, stick around. And the other joke I did specifically was I go, Philly loves the Pope. Philly loves the Pope. Not that I was worried, but you guys weren't that nice to Santa Claus. Now, do you know about the Santa Claus game? It was an Eagles game, wasn't it? It was an Eagles game 100 years ago. It was like 20,000 people in the stadium.

But here's where I forgot that it's the Northeast. Where I forgot that it's the Northeast is that these people don't like it when people bring that up. They don't like it when they bring that up. So again, I'm essentially performing for an empty stadium, but there's people in the streets. And so in the corner of my ear, I start hearing, boo. Boo. There's only 20 people doing it, but they're booing the guy before their spiritual leader

comes on. I just love that. That's like only in Philadelphia would they sit there and go, yeah, you know, we're going to hear this guy talk about forgiveness and all this stuff, but this guy booed. It was just, I just love that whole experience. I was like, I wasn't even thrown because I was, it was empty and it's like, it's a no win situation, but like they, I got booed. I got booed and it was not even that great of a joke. And then my Twitter feed, people were like, look, bringing that up in Philadelphia is

like bringing up the Holocaust in Germany. And I'm like, not quite. I'm like, first of all, the Holocaust happened. And second of all, Santa Claus is not real. But I loved it. I loved it. And it was, and by the way, it's like if I knew that information now, I wouldn't have done the joke.

Because you know, that's, you know, I'm not sitting there trying to, you know, hit the hornet's nest. That's not my style of comedy anyway. But they were, they're about to see the Pope. And if they could have tackled me, they would have. They're like, we should beat this guy. But that's the Northeast, right? That's Jersey, that's Boston, that's, you know.

Did you ever meet the Pope? I did meet the Pope. Wow. I did meet the Pope. And he had no idea who I was. Of course he had no idea. And there was a guy, there was. Of course he had no idea. There was a guy, there was an Italian guy or a Spanish guy, I think a Spanish guy standing

by me, I'm going, Comedica, the Comedia, the Famasul Comedica, Jim Gaffigan. And the Pope's like, yeah, I don't care. I don't care. But I got my mother-in-law, who's a very devout Catholic. She met the Pope and I was like, I win. I win. I'm the best son-in-law ever. Hands down. She met the Pope.

Great story. You got to sign off again? This will be one of our twice ending shows. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre and we're still at the legendary Fry's Club in New York City. We're here with Jim Gaffigan. Please catch his Cinemax special, Loves Me a Hairy Pussy.

Yep. Yeah. It's got subtitles. Alright, thanks you guys. Thanks Jim.