Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Joyce Van Patten Encore

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

GGACP celebrates Women's History Month with this ENCORE of a 2017 interview with veteran stage, film and television actress Joyce Van Patten. In this episode, Joyce laughs it up with the boys and shares fond memories of working with Hollywood icons Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, Danny Kaye, Dean Martin and Peter Sellers (to name just a few). Also, Joyce dines with Vincent Price, tours with Tony Randall, treads the boards with Al Shean (!) and remembers the late, great Herb Edelman. PLUS: Mr. Big converts! Rod Serling stops by the set! Joyce praises Martin Balsam! Andy Griffith hates on Jack Lord! And Bob Denver adopts a monkey!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is we're recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdorosa. Our guest this week is one of the most prolific, visible, and respected actresses of the last seven decades and a member of a prominent showbiz family with dozens and I mean dozens of film and TV roles to her credit. You've seen her in

classic television shows like Gunsmoke, The Untouchables, The Andy Griffith Show, The Danny K Show, Columbo, Love American Style, The Odd Couple, The Sopranos, Desperate Housewives, Boardwalk Empire, and even the original Outer Limits and Twilight Zone. She's also appeared in well-known films such as I Love You Alice B. Toklas, The Bad News Bears, Mame, Mickey and Nicky, The Falcon and the Snowman, St. Elmo's Fire, Blind Date, and Monkey Shines, and in hit stage plays like I oughta be in pictures same time next year, Jake Swimming, and Brighton Beach Memoirs in a long and extremely active performing career that began even before her first birthday, she's worked with Jack Benny, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley, Lucille Ball, Kirk Douglas, Milton Berle, Brock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, and Peter Sellers, as well as former

podcast guest Lee Grant, Matthew Broderick, Bruce Stern, Jessica Walter, Ron Liebman, and Dick Van Dyke, just to name a few. We're pleased to welcome to the show an actor's actor and a woman who once auditioned for the role of Bonnie Blue Butler in 1939's Gone With the Wind, the versatile and multi-talented Joyce Van Patten. What an introduction. Wow, I did all that, huh?

Did you think you had a career like that? No, but I did, I kind of have a dim memory of getting on a phony horse over a 20th Century Fox when they had studios in New York and trying to get into Gone With the Wind. I have a kind of memory of that. Well, you had to be five. I was something, yeah. Five, five or six.

I was like a child. I was definitely a child. And I never thought the girl that did it was very good. So you stayed bitter about it all these years. I was still bitter all these years later. Oh, that's great. You're one of those guests where I was thinking of throwing away the introduction and saying, just name a TV show or movie and chances are she was in.

It's staggering. Well, you know you know really when I first went to California I had done a lot of stage work and then I went to Los Angeles in the 60s it was very easy to get on on television it's got become very complicated now there are so many decisions and people but then they were just because we came from Broadway that was a new thing they were excited that all those New York actors came to that that particular time in the 60s and wanted to do television That was like that was big that was exciting and you would just get jobs now. It's so complicated I don't know anybody can stand it. You just went from show to show the director liked you

It was either you or somebody else. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't like 12 women all piled into an audition. It was all simpler. Maybe because television was still relatively new. Yeah, it was relatively new and it was exciting. You know, it was all different. Before I forget to ask, Frank brought it up and this is a name that's popped up on the show. Only on this podcast.

A bunch of times. Yeah. You worked on stage with Al Sheen and for those people who don't know Al Sheen, first shame on you. Why are you listening to this show? He was the uncle of the Marx brothers. You know, I never knew that. I never knew.

I know that I was in a play with him. Then again I was a kid. It was called Popsie. I know that it was a it was a flop and that was like the thing in our family. Popsie was a Flopsy. And I remember that and do you remember the actress she's made herself Jane Sterling but she was Jane Sterling then. Sure. Yeah she was like the ingenue in it and I remember things you remember I remember she would bring me lollipops to the theater but it wasn't a very long run but I did not know that I knew that it was Gallagher and Sheen right they were a family. Sure sure absolutely Mr. Gallagher positively Mr. Sheen. Was that the Sunshine Boys was that what he was using or not? A little bit. A mixture of them and Smith and Dale.

Yeah yeah right right yeah yeah so that's good I mean I'm glad I know that now and I did meet I did meet Gartow-Marx you know. You did? Yes and I don't remember why but he was very nice you know what I mean he was very accessible mm-hmm so he was going with a girl named Erin Fleming. Oh she's come up on this show many times. Oh yeah. It's a sad story. I know. Yeah. I knew Erin Fleming because she did a play, a Mark Taper forum, you know, in Los Angeles. They would do new theater. It's still going on. They have the Amundsen, they have the Mark Taper, they have the whatever. We were doing a

new play and she had a scene, she was playing like a very attractive woman, opposite, I guess, the man that was supposed to be my husband. I don't remember the plot complication, but she took off her shirt and showed her breasts. I mean, that was sort of new. It was like 1960, oh no, it was in the 70s. She did that.

Yeah, this was Groucho and his lady years. Yeah, and he came around, he was there, he was very, he was sweet, it seemed like to me. She came to a rather bad end, sad. Horrible. Yeah. Horrible end. I don't know the real behind story, but she killed herself.

Yeah, she did. Yeah, she was homeless for a while, and but she killed herself. Yeah, she did. Yeah, she was homeless for a while, and then she shot herself. You know, they were after, the family hated her. The Marx Brothers family, you know, they hated her. They were after her. They didn't want her to get anything. That's the story that I heard.

Well, and there was a famous trial. Was there? Oh, see, I didn't know that. I missed the trial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You also worked with Kirk Douglas, you and Dick, your brother? Yeah, we were in a show called The Wind Is 90 that must have been right near the end of World War II.

That was 1945 in the research. Yeah, so it would have been when the war ended actually. And Kirk Douglas was in it and went right to Hollywood and became a star, actually almost immediately after the play. And the other man that was in it was Wendell Corey. Do you remember him? He went also to Hollywood. He didn't become quite the star that Kirk became, but the two of them were from that period. What do you remember about Kirk Douglas back then? He was nice. I was 11.

You weren't judging anyone too much at 11. He was very nice to was very nice to me and he wrote in my autograph book, you know, I can't wait to see you when you grow up, you know, some cute thing. How nice. You also, I love doing this research, Joyce, because I find some really good stuff. I mean, your theater credits, you work with Shirley Booth, for God's sake, in desk sets. Yeah, more than once, yeah. Yeah, and a young Lou Gossett. Yeah, Louie. Yeah, and you did Hole in the Head with our friendly Grant.

Right. And Connie Sawyer. Oh, my pal. Who's still alive. 106. Wow. Can you believe that? 106.

She's at the home. Yeah, well, let's not rush on that. She's at the home, and she's full of energy. And she has a little cottage. She in Los Angeles? In Los Angeles, the home and she is just full of energy and she has a little cottage. She in Los Angeles? In Los Angeles, the home in Los Angeles. You know what I mean. Sure, sure.

And you acted a bunch of times. Another name that pops up only on this show and that's Herb Edelman. Oh, a lot. I worked with her. I worked with her a lot. We did a series together. We did Alice B. Toklas together. You sure did. We did a play at that same place that I was on the mock table.

We did Volpone together. We worked together a lot. And what do you remember about Herbie? I loved Herbie. What a funny man. He was just great. He was very, very funny. He never seemed to take anything that seriously. You know, we'd go through, you know what it's like, putting a television show on, all that stuff. He went with everything. He was good and he was just such so funny too.

And then he wound up being, uh, the author's boyfriend. Right. The author's boyfriend on The Golden Girl. And he was great. Right. And also Murray the Cop in the Odd Couple movie. Oh yeah. He was always his girl. He was great. Loved him.

Tell us a little bit about The Good Guy since you brought it up with Bob Denver, you and her. Yeah, well The Good Guys was, I can't remember, Leonard? Leonard Stern. Leonard Stern was the producer. Yeah, that smart guy. And we did the pilot. This is just a nice story about Bob Denver really.

And of course it was traditional to fire somebody after the pilot and I was going to be fired and I was very upset about it of course but I knew that it was gonna happen and Bob found out about it and then refused to do the show if I wasn't on. Wow. Isn't that something? He was sweet. He's a sweet guy. Leonard Stern told a story about his fan base, about Bob Denver's fan base coming to the tapings and Oh, it was more than the fan base. It was also, he was married, Bob was married to a girl named Butch. She was like a hippie, you know, and she would wear funny jeans and like long stuff in that day. And she had two beautiful Hawaiian children from a former marriage.

So they would come, they would stand, you know, it was an audience show on Friday nights. She would stand over there with the two beautiful children and looking, you know, kind of very hippy-ish, and their monkey, they had a monkey. They had a monkey. God bless them. Can you imagine?

That sounds like a botched in for a sitcom. Can you imagine? Nobody looked at the show. They were all over there looking, what's the monkey doing now? Henry, yeah. So that's really all. And it was a time, I don't think, they didn't know how to write for a woman. They always had me coming from the grocery store and I was like, well, why don't you

have me doing something interesting? You know, it was a boy show. It was a boy show. It was two boys. Did they have you in aprons a lot of time? Yeah, they didn't know what to do. You remember the good guys? They opened a diner together, Herb Edelman and Bob Minver. And I think we ran about two years.

I don't think we ran longer. I think so. I think you added Alan Hale Jr. in the second year. Yes, they did. And also the other one, Jim Backus. And Backus, because the ratings were flagging. And you you were married to another name that comes up on this show Martin Balsam. I was married to him and we have a daughter, Talia Balsam. Yes, who's a very busy actress. Yes and lovely, lovely. Yeah Marty was such a Marty Balsam was such a wonderful actor. Oh, we talk about him on this show.

Ah, such a wonderful actor. And I tell you, this thing is driving me crazy with people not knowing who anybody is anymore. Well, Joyce and I talked on the phone yesterday and I was explaining that obviously she's a friend of Lee's, Lee Grant, and also Ron Liebman and Jessica. Right. And Ron and Jessica were here and they said to Gilbert and I, you know, please keep doing this because it's important to keep these names alive. And so Joyce and I were talking on the phone and she said it's so sad that people don't remember a lot of these great people and that's kind of what we're trying to do here. And also not interested enough to look it up. It's so easy now. Google them. You know what I mean? You can find so much out of me.

We were at a table recently. We were having dinner, Frank and I and Gino, and we mentioned to this girl, Groucho Marx, she had no idea. She was old of 24. Yeah, but still. But my feeling is, I could be wrong about this. You're 25. My feeling is I could be wrong about this. I could be wrong about this. We all knew, I mean you're younger than I am, but I mean we all knew who the silent screen stars were. Of course. I mean we all knew who the people were.

Yes. But there's no interest in, I don't know what... No it's true, it's true. While I nudge Gilbert awake, listen to these words from our sponsor. Were you speaking? Gilbert and Frank, we can't live without you. And now we return to the show. Getting back to Martin Balsam, he was one of those actors that made it look easy, like there was no effort involved.

Absolutely. He was also such a nice guy, even though we didn't stay married. He was always so generous about other actors. When I met him, I was, you know, like, I don't know, 16 years younger. I was quite a lot younger than he. And I was like, you know, jealous of a lot of people that were working. He did not have a, he did not have that in him at all. It was like, you know, that guy is great. You know, Jack Warden is great.

I'm not upset that Jack Warden got the job that I wanted because Jack Warden, he had that kindness in him. Wow. That was nice. And you know, Lee Grant has that too. That's a lovely thing. Yeah, Lee was great to us. And for those who might not know Martin Valtsemm, he was abrogast and psycho.

12 angry men, a thousand clowns, and all the president's men on the waterfront in Catch 22. A thousand clowns as he won the Oscar. Absolutely. Oh, and after the Fox. And Catch 22 and Cape Fear. He was hysterical. Very funny. Funny in comedies. Yes. And a stage actor as well. Roxboy, local boy. Yep, local boy. True enough. And you worked another name only Frank and

I would get totally excited about. I know where you're going. You worked with Hunts Hall. Yeah, I did. What's the name of that movie? Oh my god, I have it in my notes. It's something, Manchu Eagle Murder Mystery. It was the Manchu Eagle Caper Murder Mystery. Gabe Dell. Yeah, Gabe Dell was in it. And Jackie Kugen.

Oh my god. Every child actor. Why were we all in that movie? And Sorelle Book. Oh yes movie? And Sorelle Book. Oh, yes, I love Sorelle Book. Oh, he was wonderful. I loved, I forgot all about Sorelle Book. Wait. Yeah, that was a movie.

Boss Hogg. We brought him up on this show. Did you? Gilbert loves Bye Bye Braverman. Yeah, well that's a good movie. Isn't Ronnie in that? Isn't, isn't? Oh, George Siegel.

George Siegel. Yeah. Yeah. But Jessica Walter is in it. Oh, she's in it, that's right. What? George Siegel. George Siegel. Yeah. Yeah. But Jessica Walter is in it. Oh, she's in it. That's right. Oh, that's right. And the only Jewish Bond villain.

Joseph Wiseman. Yes. He played Dr. No. He was good. He was good. Although I must say a fan wrote to us and said, Gilbert is mistaken. There is a second Jewish Bond villain. Who?

And it's somebody that Joyce worked with, but it doesn't really count in the sense that he converted to Judaism. Oh, oh, okay. Yafet Koto. That's right! Yafet Koto is Jewish now? He became Jewish. Yes, he did. He converted to Judaism.

He doesn't have enough problems. He wasn't bad enough being black. He had to be a Jew. As long as he's happy. Did he get married? I don't know. We have to have Yafet Koto on the show. I'd kill to have him here. He did a movie with Joyce Colbone, a Larry Cohen movie. It's a very disturbing movie. Yeah, it is. It's good though. I thought it was kind of good. Yafet Kodo. Why was I? I was just gonna say something about him but now it's left my mind. That's all right. We'll go back to Hunts Hall and Gabe Dell. Yes. I think Gabe Dell played my husband. He was a private eye. Yeah I think he was. And

and what do you remember about Hunts Hall? He didn't make an impression. Joy shaking her head and shrugging. So he didn't make an impression. But shaking her head and shrugging. So he didn't make an impression. But when I did Dead End, I did Dead End at the Amundsen. You know, it was a play originally and the Dead End kids were in it and that's why they all went to Hollywood. Okay. So now the Dead End kids, probably most of them dead, had children and those children

came to see the play. And they're not children, of course, they're middle-aged men, middle-aged old men. They came, I don't remember whether Hunts Hall had a son there. Wow. I don't remember, but they all came to see the play. Wow.

Do you remember Stanley Clements in the Bowery Boys? He was a lesser. Yeah, but Stanley Clements also played a jockey in some movie. He married Gloria Graham. Yes. But he used to chase my mother home from school and try to kiss her when they were great. And my grandmother hit him with a broom.

I just want to throw that out there. Well, it's good. It's a good story. It's a good story. And getting back to your daughter, Talia. Yeah. She, I guess, at one point in her life must have been hated by every single woman on the planet.

Yes I guess so. But not for long. She married George Clooney. She did. We all went down, our friend Richard Kine, we all went down together to Las Vegas. Hate to bring that up. And they got married. They got married. They got married, we spent the weekend in Vegas.

And I, sorry that they didn't stay married, but they both went their own way. I think George has been amazing how he's handled his being famous. I think he's done all the right stuff, don't you? He used his celebrity. He's such a, he used his celebrity in such a... He's an altruistic person. He used his celebrity in the greatest possible way.

And he's spoken about the marriage, and he really takes the blame on himself that he just wasn't ready, and he just didn't give it a chance. Yeah, I guess that's what... Yeah, they were, I guess, young. Pretty young. Pretty young. But it was a fun marriage in that it was to show the showbiz families

Yes, the showbiz families true kind of it's true kind of joining forces. I would marry George For yes, she's got a cute husband now. Oh, she's married to John Slaughtery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah now She always had those, I never, when I was dating and stuff, I never particularly had great looking guys. I always wanted funny guys. Oh it's your mistake. She always dated these great looking men. Oh yeah. And so now she's married to one. I'd like to also point out before it's forgotten on the show that Joyce is half Italian. Yes. Yeah. I want to get that in there.

God damn it. Because you're always claiming ownership. Yeah. You'll have to find there has to be a Jew somewhere in your past. Got to be, right? Got to be. Got to be. Also a New Yorker, like 90% of our guests.

I actually think that is the same thing almost. If you grow up in New York, you know about being Jewish. Do you know what I mean? I feel partly Jewish. Yeah, I think it's part of living here, of growing up here. Well, Tony Orlando's father is, he grew up, I guess he grew up in New York. In Manhattan. Yes, in the Garment District.

Yeah. And his father is buried in a Jewish cemetery. Tony Orlando's father? Yeah. You like that? Yeah. Now tell us what you were telling us outside, just a little backstory about the family and about your mom and how she was a stage mom and pushed you and Dick into...

She was a stage mom. By the time, you know, when Dickie was born, my mother's whole family, they went to live in Woodhaven at the time and they signed a petition to get the Italians off the block, but they didn't get them off the block. They stayed there. So there was a lot of that. I would have signed that. I know.

I'm sure you would have. And then she met my father who was not an Italian. He was a beautiful blonde and you know, that was the whole thing. They got married and she had this beautiful baby boy and Dickie was absolutely the most adorable child and she decided that he was going to be a model and he was modeling very very young and then he was doing little theater you know they used to do plays that had a lot of people in them because it didn't cost a lot of money yeah most of the plays that I did and that Dickie did had something like, you know, it would be nothing to have 28 people

in a play, you know, or 30 people. There were always a lot of kids in them. And so he was doing that. He did radio. So by the time I came along, I was like, that's what I was going to do. So there's pictures of me in, you know, baby sweaters, modeling, baby sweaters. And I model for the Sears catalog when you were like five months old or six months old or some crazy thing. Yeah. It's amazing. It's sort of interesting.

Your brother Dick also has a ridiculous resume. Amazing. She acted with the lunch. Yeah. Yeah. For five years. Can you imagine? Yeah.

He's a billions of movies and TV shows. Oh, everything. And he was also, he seemed to be in with that crowd of Mel Brooks. Mel, yeah, he's close with Mel. And Don Rickles and all those people. And who's the guy that did get smart? Don Adams. Oh, yes.

So he was in that group. Don Adams had a brother. Yeah, oh, Yarmie. Dick Yarmie. You're good. Yeah, Yarmie's army. Y Adams had a brother. Yeah, oh, Yarmie. Dick Yarmie. You're good, you're good. Yarmie's army. Yeah, they all gambled.

I mean, that was the, I mean, I don't think Mel, yeah, Mel does too, I'm wrong. And that was the bonding thing, I think. They all had that. I did a little research and found out Dick liked the horses. Oh, no, that was his, he was very much more interested in that and poker than he really wasn't in acting. But he beat out Brando for a part he beat out young Brando I found really in my research. In what? I'll have to double check. No I think what I if I may sir.

Okay correct me. I think what happened is when he did I remember mama on television right Brando had played that on Broadway. Is that what it was? Well, I don't know. Okay, that's that's that's the connection I don't think he ever but maybe he did I'll But in other words, he played Nels which was the character that Brando had played in on the stage He did I did find a story he told about acting with Tallulah Bankhead, her asking him to come into a room to read a line and she was naked, she was stuck naked. Oh yeah, he was a good storyteller.

He was a great raconteur. Oh, I wish we had him, I wish we had him on the show. Oh, you'd have loved it, yeah, he really, he was great. And you work with Jack Benny. It was so thrilling to me, I can't tell you. I was pretty thrilled when I went to Hollywood because it was in the 60s and the studios were still there. There was still MGM.

And when I went to work there, there was Andy Hardy's old house. They had the back lots. Wow, still on the lot. And they had all of the clothes. I wore a lot of Eleanor Parker, do you remember her? I used to wear a lot of her clothes if I was working at MGM. and they had the studios filled with those women that would make these things.

I mean it was so great to just see that part of it, you know, to me because the movies were like, you know, amazing. And then to work with people like Gladys Cooper. Do you remember her at all? Yes. Well, you guys remember. She was in everything at MGM. She was the character the character one to work with those people I was like a dream come true really and what was Benny like so nice oh god he was so nice you tell me on the phone he had a little thing I felt he had a little crush I don't want you to feel that he did anything he shouldn't have done great but he was just so sweet to me and he kind of gave to sit with me at lunch and everything.

He was just darling. And here's a nice story about Milton Berle. Oh, oh. I know. That's why I say you don't get a lot of those. I was leading into Milton Berle. Well, we were going to do, it was supposed to be done live.

Yes. And Milton said, I don't trust myself, and I don't want to do anything to hurt Jack. He didn't trust himself not to be piggy. Not to be what? Piggy. Piggy. Oh. You know to do stuff that would make Jack not happy. Well this was an episode of the Benny show where Uncle Miltie was being adopted by Jack by you and Jack. I thought that was sweet I'm trying to wrap my mind around. But I thought that was sweet. I mean, that's a nice story. He was afraid he would over, he respected Jack Benny, I guess is the story.

Wow. That's great. And he didn't want to do anything that would be, seem disrespectful to him. And it's funny, Benny is one of those people I've yet to hear a bad thing about. No, there's nothing bad. No. There's nothing bad. The writers all liked him. That's classic. The writers hate the, right's nothing bad. No, nothing bad. The writers all liked him.

That's classic. The writers hate the... right? The writers hate the comic. Now, we can't touch upon Milton Berle without touching upon what he's best known for. Which? He's supposed to be extremely... Oh, well, I'm down. He would make Donald Trump jealous. Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Yes. Did you ever actually walk in the trashy...

I can't give you... I have no information on that at all. But he was certainly... You know, he was married to a girl named Joyce. So that was always like... That was his thing with me. I was married to a girl named Joyce. So that was always like, that was his thing with me. I was married to a girl named Joyce, but he never made any kind of moves on me. And never showed you. I have to tell you, people didn't make, you know, you always hear those stories about

and then they got me on the couch. That never happened to me. Well, it did happen to me once. Do you remember, do you remember a character actor named Bill Conrad, William Conrad? Of course, Cannon! Sure. Yeah, he just made phone calls to me late at night. Oh my! With that deep voice of his? But that was depressing. That's the one guy. But at least he had that great radio voice. That Rocky and Bullwinkle voice. He was Matt Dillon on the radio. Hahaha! Hahaha!

So he would call up with dirty phone calls? He had a show called Cannon, I think it was called Cannon. Yes, he was a cop. Frank Cannon. He didn't stalk me or anything. But while I was on the show, I guess he had a couple of drinks, whatever, and then he called me. Hahaha!

That's my only time that that ever seemed to be a problem. And now here's something whenever I ask actresses this and I always scream bullshit. You worked with Elvis Presley. The trouble with girls. Every single actress claims they didn't have sex with Elvis Presley. I definitely did not have sex with Elvis Presley. I definitely did not have sex No

All I can say about Elvis Presley Is that I can only say what everybody says about him he was very polite and nice Also, I didn't really have anything to do with him You know, it was one of those it was like a Chautauqua, which was, and I was playing Gertrude Ederle, you know the woman that swam the English Channel. So I didn't really have anything to do with him. So I don't, I can't, I have no reports on him at all. Except that he was polite and nice. That's nice.

Yeah I heard like Elvis used to call everybody sir or ma'am. Yeah. Well he was a southern boy. Well Martindale's wife dated him. Oh that's right. used to call everybody sir or ma'am. Yeah. Well, he was a southern boy. Well, Martindale's wife dated him. Oh, that's right. We had her on the show. That's right. And so you still denying you had sex with almost Presley.

I'm still denying it. Let's pull another name off that list. Cause you were just talking about how the writers loved Benny, but one of the guys the writers didn't always have a fondness for was Danny. Yeah you know I'm glad you brought up Danny because the truth I when I think about my career coming into comedy is Paul Mazursky. Oh wow. Because he was doing this is not there was no Danny Kay show I knew Paul from New York he was an

actor I was out there. We were working. There was a place called The Crescendo on Hollywood Boulevard, and we was going to do a club act of improvisations. In other words, the first set would be stuff that you set, and then the second thing that you know what that is, and then the audience would give you ideas. So I went and I auditioned and I got it. So it was Paul, Mazurski, me, Larry Tucker who became Paul's, Alan Seuss and a girl named Liz Shaw who was very beautiful and I never really saw her after this. So we did that. I'm gonna say we did it for about three months. I was working in a nightclub which is

interesting to do. And then that was the end of that. And then Paul and Larry got on the Danny K. show. And the Danny K. show was on for, this is a good actor story. It was on for about a year, getting to the end of the first year. He could not find a woman that he liked. They talked him into having me. I did like the last show of that season or whatever. He liked me. I was going to be on the Danny K Show and then I spent three years on the Danny K Show.

And that was really great. He was always very, he was nice to me, but he wasn't always nice to everybody. I know that. We heard some bad stories from previous guests. Yeah, yeah. Men. Yeah, yeah, I think that he was nice to me.

In fact, in Tony Curtis' book, he says he was at a party and Danny was being very rude to him and very insulting. And Tony said he looked at Danny in the eyes at one point and said, fuck you, Danny. We had a couple of people here, Jamie Farr, Bernie Coppell, a couple of people that didn't enjoy their experience of working with him. Yeah, he's had some... Oh, no, no, he was difficult. We didn't talk a lot to you. I remember once he had a dressing room that was like you could eat

there. And one day he had Roddy McDowell, who was a guest on the show, and myself and Harvey and some man who I don't remember that was from the TV Guide. And nobody talked. I remember the sweat was like dripping down my chest, you know that feeling when nobody knew what conversation to have. And if somebody and and Roddy who was terrific you know you start something and he would be it would be he just wouldn't pick it up it was the most awful lunch I've ever seen like a nice oh he was adorable another raconteur he was a raconteur and he loved people and he loved to entertain and you know he was we're here lovely things about him the Harvey Korman, you and Harvey Korman were the

repertory company. Howie Morris too? Howie, no, the other one. Howie I knew of course and he was on it. Well Conway, yeah it was the first time that Korman and Conway No, those were great years for me. I have to say great years for me. I worked with Art Carney. They were just wonderful people. Vincent Price, Art Carney, Satchmo, Don Knott, Liberace, Jim Kelly, George Burns, Peter Ustinov. That's not bad. Insane. Yeah, that was good. That was a wonderful time for me. But here's the payoff. So then the show is over and Paul and Larry write a movie called... I Love You, I love you Alice be topless. They're desperate

I love you Alice be topless and so does her be fine I love you Alice be topless and I want to change your name to mine They're also her be fine Oh her be fine, her be fine in the movie No, so they wrote the character named Joyce and they were Desperately frightened for me to meet Peter Sellers because he was such a difficult man and they got me so nervous. Be careful of what you wear. Don't wear purple.

You can't wear purple. Be careful. You know, they had me so nervous. He was making another movie at Columbia and I met them there. I went up to the dressing room. Of course, they waited downstairs for me. I went in. I talked to him for,

I'm gonna say 10 minutes. I don't remember it being particularly difficult. And I left. And then the boys went up. They said, wait, wait here, wait here. I waited and they came down and they said, the job's yours. I never read with him.

Wow. Nothing. You're very funny in that movie. Oh, thank you He was you know he was great to me. There was another person that was great. I've heard with Peter Sellers very much like Sid Caesar that in character they were comfortable but if they were out of character it's like they didn't even exist. That's interesting. I think that is probably true. He was, but he was much easier and more available than Danny. Danny, you know, if you didn't want to talk about, he liked to talk about flying, you know, airplanes,

and he liked to talk about operations, you know, he would go into operation rooms with doctors and watch them do appendectomies or whatever. Danny K. Danny Kaye. Yeah. Strange. I mean, if you didn't talk about that, you sat at a table sweating. It was a baseball fay. It was a big Brooklyn Dodgers guy.

He wound up buying a baseball team. Yeah. But that was a great three years for me. Really a great three years. I saw a clip of you, Danny, Fred Gwin in a Cyrano skit. Yeah, Cyrano. Yeah. Amazing.

And what was Harvey Korman like? Perfect. Perfect in every way. He had what Herb had. They're just gentle, sweet men. Wow. I loved him. Don't you think he was great?

Oh, yeah. Terrific. Absolutely. We've had friends of his on the show who've just... Everybody liked him, I think, don't you think? Yeah, well Ronnie Schell told us he was paranoid. Oh, Ronnie Schell. Oh yeah.

How is Ronnie Schell? I remember reading him on twice. How is he? He's good, he's in LA. Do you go to LA? No, we do it on, we have a hookup from LA here and we just do it on some... You know, I love American Style. I always had somebody like that.

Oh, yeah. You did a love American Style with Rich Little. And Morsal. And Morsal. Wow. This was so lucky. I really mean it. This was all just lucky.

Unbelievable. Yeah, really. Paul Mazursky, also Pat McCormick was a writer on that Danny Cage show. Oh my God. And Larry Gelbart. And yeah, I heard, I remember Dick Van Dyke said of Harvey Corbyn, he was the world's greatest second banana. No argument.

Yeah. I think he was flawless, yeah. Yeah. I agree. He could do anything. Yep. Go ahead, Gil. You worked with Peter Falk on Columbo. I did. I worked with Peter Falk on Colombo.

I did. I worked with Peter Falk on Mikey and Nicky too. Mikey and Nicky was a lost movie that was done by Elaine May. She wrote it and directed it. It was John Cassavetes and Peter and other people, me, but other good people that I'm just not remembering right now and I've never seen it, but it has a reputation. You know you should try to see it. I will I like They really I see Elaine now. I still see her

They they re-released it and it got a lot of good reviews. She was laughing about it I mean it was suddenly getting good reviews 20 years. I love her work. Yeah, I've never caught up to it But it was interesting after Mike. Got a following. When Mike died, did you see, they were showing a lot of the Mike and Elaine's things. He'd forgotten how great they were. They just were fabulous.

And Herb turns up in I Love You, Alice B. Toklas too. Yes he does. Yeah, yeah. I just watched it and you're very funny in it. There's a lot of good comedy in that movie. Yes. I mean, the Mexican family and the neck braces. I mean it's a very good script. Yeah it was a good script.

Harold. Do you know what happened this time? The earth moved for me. Like in Hemingway. Did the earth move for you? Uh... No, I don't think so. I didn't satisfy you? Of course you satisfied me. It was just that the earth didn't move.

This time, that's all. But it has moved in the past. Oh, Joyce, you know, many times, many times. When? Well... You know, a couple of weeks ago it moved. Oh, oh... We must psychedelicize their impoverished dreams. Teach them how to live again. Make them stop playing the

ego game. Teach them how to die so that they can be born again, so that they can become a flower again. Harold, is your asthma bothering you? I have a little tickle right now, yeah. It's a little heartbreak kid. A little bit. And then it's about a guy who's a reluctant groom, and he meets a younger woman. Yeah. Yeah, but good.

But succeeds on its own terms. I work with Tony, too, Curtis. Oh, yeah? Tell us about that That was sad He was originally in I would have been pictures He was the original man in it and he was really you know, I think he was a very good actor Do you agree with oh, yeah? Actor and it was about a guy that had been a big writer in Hollywood and wasn't anymore.

So that was great because, you know, he carried that on stage with him. But he just, they couldn't count on him. They literally couldn't. One night he would be great, the next night he would be terrible. The next, you know, then he would be great. He never knew why he would, why it worked when it worked. So they fired him and they replaced him with Ronnie Liebman. Ron Liebman replaced him.

Oh. Always felt bad for him. Yeah, he seemed like a troubled guy. He came from a really bad upbringing. Yeah. But he had a long career. Sure did. And he got himself in trouble, I think, too.

Yeah. I don't think, you know, doing eight shows a week, you can't play around with stuff. Oh, yeah. And you know what I mean? You can't do it. Of course, of course. He had a drinking and drug problem. Yeah, I think that's what it was.

But I felt bad. It was just awful to work with someone. Oh, absolutely, because he was a real star. And he was a big star. He had in such a big star but then Ronnie of course was great so we love Ron Liebman yeah yeah he used to be loved underrated and speaking of I ought to be in pictures now I'm reminded of who played the role in the movie someone else you worked with Walter Mathau I'm so boring but I loved him too you I couldn't have been sweeter.

You did Bad News Bears with Walter. And you know his wife was in Mikey and Nicky, whoever he was. Oh yes. Carol, Carol. Oh hell. Yeah, I'll think of it. She's good at it too. And what was Mathow like?

The best. Just loved him. And we shot, did you ever see Bad News Bears? Oh yes. Yeah. The greatest. I mean, it's just such a wonderful movie, but when you were making it, you hated it

because it was hot and you were on that ball field all the time. And there were all people coming. He would go up to all the people, all the fans. He'd talk to them. He gave his autograph. He was like, he just was adorable. You were Cleveland.

You were the equipment manager. I was Cleveland. I was, I was. And then Tatum O'Neill, who was a young and troubled 12-year-old, she wouldn't give anybody her autograph. There's Walter Mathau. There's Walter Mathau that was out there signing it. Yeah, that was sad. And he was funny in person, too.

You got to work with two Felix Ungers and two Oscar Madisons because you work with Art Carney in the K Show. You worked with Mathow and you were telling me on the phone that you knew Tony and Jack. Tony and I did a tour. They used to do a thing through the Florida tour where you'd play Palm Springs and you'd play Fort Lauderdale with a new play called The Button. And it was him and me and John McMartin who was a wonderful actor. John McMartin, love him too, just passed recently. Yeah, he did. So that was Tony,

Tony who had a great sense of humor and kept you laughing all the time. There's a certain kind of, once we realized the play was a bomb and we were in Florida, he would do anything to break you up on stage, you know, so it got to be about that. Who can break who up? He tell you that he confide in you at some point and tell you that he had a difficult relationship with his dad, Tony Randall? He had a mean father. Yeah.

Yeah, how did you know that though? Did I tell you that? No, I just go very deep into research and I have a lot of help. Yeah, it did you know that though? Did I tell you that? No, I just go very deep into research and I have a lot of help. Yeah, it was surprised to me when he told me that. Yeah, he did. What was wrong with him and his father? His father was mean. I'm going to say his father was a rabbi. Is this possible? I don't know. He's Lenny Rosenberg from Oklahoma. Yeah, I think there was a religious thing that was involved with it that really cut him down. Interesting. Really, really cut him down.

And he did tell me that. And then he later, you know, he was married for many years to a lovely woman named Florence and then she died. Right. They never had children. Right. And then he married again and he had, I think he had two kids. Yeah, one of his 70s.

He was in his 70s. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, he passed. One of our favorites. And what about Jack? You knew Jack and Brett too. Yeah.

Oh my, I feel like I knew them all my life. That's great. Because they were here in New York, you know. Of course. And they were in the village. And is Jack's? No, we lost Jack. Oh no.

About five, six years ago. Okay. It's hard to keep track of it, we lost Jack. Oh no. About five, six years ago. Okay. It's hard to keep track of it, I tell you. Yeah. Yeah. And you were in a, I have to tell our fans, I would be remiss if I didn't point out to our odd couple fans that you're in a memorable episode with George Firth.

With George Firth? Another guy who was a good friend of yours. You know George Firth. Oh yes. He sent Blazing Saddles and many other wonderful things. Many wonderful things. And he was on The Good Guys, I think more than once. Yes he was.

And on that other actor that they used a few times. Richard Stahl. Yes. Another funny guy. Another funny guy. Wasn't he good? Yes. So like deadbeat.

So you were watching all these things when you were kids? Oh yeah. We're addicts. Yeah, we're pathetic. So is there anything happening in the world that you're not aware of? watching all these things when you were kids. Oh yeah, we're addicts. Yeah, we're pathetic. So is there anything happening now television-wise that you can't miss? I wouldn't know. I'm enjoying Fargo, but I think I'm like two years late.

No, I've only seen the one, they do it really well. Gene Smart in the second season was a revelation. I don't know that I saw it. Oh gee I hadn't heard her name in a long time. I'll give you the discs. Yeah. Yes. That's the best thing I've seen in quite a while.

But other than that I'm like Gilbert I'm a throwback I'm lost in the 60s and the 70s so I don't watch a lot of new television. We're still catching up on and and yet another show you're You can't name oh my god, did you look at that IMDB page? It's insane every show Yeah, Ben Casey the detectives the untouchables Andy Griffith show the Don Rickles show you did every Western Oh, tell us about Don Rickles. He was great. First of all, he was really smart I mean, you know if he went after you it, he got you, is what I'm trying to say. But no, I mean, he got you in a good way.

Oh, yeah, he would insult everybody. He hated the way I dressed, which is good because I didn't really, you know, I didn't dress the way women should dress according to him. But he was, I thought he was, I thought he was wonderful and he was good. I thought he was a good actor. Yeah, yeah. Well yeah, you see him in, what is he? Is he in Run Silent, Run Deep?

Yeah, and he was in Run For Your Life with Ben Guzzara. Oh my God. Where he has a nervous breakdown. He's in a couple of those beach blanket movies too. Yes, yes he is. Oh and he's the- And the man with the x-ray eyes. Yeah, the crooked carnivore. With Ray

Milland. Yeah. We're freaks, we're freaks, Joyce. I never got a chance to meet Rickles. You would have liked him. Yeah. I think you would have liked him. I did. Tell us a little bit about when you were in that Elvis movie, John Carradine and Vincent Price were in that movie. I didn't. Didn't interact with them. But I knew Vincent. You knew Vincent? I knew Vincent. I think originally he was sweet.

I'm a big bore. I really am. But like when we were doing the Danny K Show, it was right next to where the farmer's market was. So he would go. We'd go for lunch. And then Tadia, my daughter, was a little girl. And he bought like a little thing of honey,

you know, a little bear that was filled with honey for my daughter. I thought that was like sweet. And then I used to see him, and we had a mutual friend, and we'd have dinners together. He was another great raconteur. Oh yeah. All the people we missed out on on the show,

we kick ourselves. Yeah, that's a shame, because he really had tales to tell. I met him twice, very briefly. Yeah. And just totally charming. Yeah, totally charming. Lovely.

Lovely. You know, we're not even going to get to, I'm not going to say adverterosa. I'm not going to say scratch the surface. But we'd have to do a four hour show with you, Joyce. I was thinking that. I mean, I was looking. I have to say, we've done 175 of these.

And looking at your IMDB page, and I said to my wife last night, putting the research together, I said, I can't even get my arms around this. You've done so much. That's amazing. Well, that makes me feel good, because sometimes you wonder what you've done. So that, no, it is. It's a body of work, Joyce. It's really nice to be here. And it's charming to talk to both of you. It is and it's always good to talk about myself. Well, typical actor. Yes, I'd love to talk about me.

Tell us about Lucy. You're in Mame with Lucy and the Arthur. I'm in Mame with Lucy. She was nice to me too. And Robert Preston. Oh, God. He was a prince. He was a prince. I love this. Yeah, there's gotta be somebody I didn't like. We'll find it. Maybe it's Gilbert. Let's see. No, because I dislike people, but I can't think of any of the... She was extremely nice to me. She talked all the time about Desi. Wow. Don't you find that interesting? And this was 1974. Oh, they were long. She's married to the guy. That's what I mean, she's married to Gary Morton at that point.

But then she turned on me. And I don't know what, not during the movie. But then she invited me to several things. And I think she was really lonely in a way. And I think she really wanted a friend. And I was married. I didn't have the time to play whatever she was playing. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. And then she didn't like me anymore. But I think she wanted a friend. She thought I was playing. Oh, interesting. Yeah, but then she didn't like me anymore. But she, I think she wanted a friend, you know? She thought I was good. She liked acting with me. Yeah. Desi would have been an amazing guest. Well, all of these people.

He invented TV. Television, yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And I think with Lucy, she, you know, they couldn't get along as a married couple, but she always greatly admired him. Oh, but I think along as a married couple but I think she admired him I think she was crazy about him I really do that was they say she never got over it well why was she talking about him you know all the time

and when she was in another marriage yeah but that marriage made sense to me when I looked at it because he he was like a very good valet or something do you know what I mean yeah I mean that even in a nice way he was there it was like it was like having a good assistant more than being in love I have no right to say that I never you know I rarely saw them together but that was the sense that I got and opposite Captain Nice I think you appeared on Mr. Terrific. You remember doing a show called Mr. Terrific? You know and whatever happened to that guy that did Mr. Terrific? Stanley Strimple? Tell me whatever happened. Stephen Strimple. Stephen. How do you know that? I don't know. He was so excited about it. I did I must have done the

second or the third of those and he'd come from New York he was in New York. Yeah Dick Gaudier was in that. yeah who you worked with and I remember and John MacGyver yeah oh god did you know him? John MacGyver one of my favorites. Now wait a minute who was John MacGyver? Gilbert give her a little. John MacGyver! Oh he was great! Absolutely! No no no he was great! John MacGyver was a very good friend of Carroll O'Connor's. Wow. Isn't that a good... I love that.

He would always play, like, very pompous... Oh, perfect. Total buffoons, you know, who are in charge. He'd be like the hotel manager or something and you know this, everything must be done according to schedule sir that's perfect, you sound just like him, you really do isn't he a good mimic? very good mimic you should hear his Peter Laurie

he was great, Peter Laurie was great did you ever work with Peter Laurie? no, I wish I had, and I never met him I wish, I think he's. And I never met him. I wish I'd think he's so great. Don't you just think he's great in movies? Oh, terrific. Oh my God, so great.

One person you did work with was our friend Abe Vagoda on a show called The Comedy Company with Jack Albertson. Do you have any recollection of this? Okay, that was good. Are you sure it's me? It's you. This was going to be our question. Are you sure it's not Dicky?

Dicky? It could have been Dicky. For Will Harris. No, a gentleman named Will Harris. We do this thing called Grill the Guest where we basically. So you don't remember Abe Vagoda. I know who he was, of course, but I know. It was Howard Hessman, Abe Vagoda.

Howard Hessman I worked with. Don Kalfa, you and Jack Albertson. And comedies? Comedy? The Comedy Company. All right, we're going to get to the bottom of this. Something about the Comedy Company is ringing a bell, but not working with those actors. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. How about Lloyd Bridges? You did a ton of stuff with him. Any memories?

The GLaDOS? I never worked with him. You did the Lloyd Bridges show? No. No? No memory. I have no memory. Of these. You never won scuba diving.

We're gonna find someone you disliked, by the way. I knew the family, I knew the family. I knew the boys when they were young, Jeff and Bo. Bo and Jeff, yeah. In my notes, it said you did the Lloyd Bridges show and you did a pilot with him. But maybe that's not right. Here's somebody you definitely work with a lot, Andy Griffith. A lot.

Tell us about Andy Griffith. He was... Let me guess, he was a prince. Tell us he was a mean drunk. He beat his kids. He was... He hated very much... We did a Hawaii Five-O together,

and he hated Jack Lord so much. Oh, really? Did he? He could not stand him. Well, actually, a lot of people couldn't stand him. He was a bit of a... I don't know, he was very full of himself. You guys played grifters. You played a couple of confidence... Yeah, actually, you know, I replaced Carol Burnett on it because she couldn't do it at the last minute. And they were afraid that Andy would not want to do it without Carol, but he did.

And then we worked together a lot, but he did hate him. And if... That's good. And he wanted... he almost wanted Jack Lord to know that too, you know what I mean? He would walk away from him when he talked. It was really funny. But then we did a lot of stuff together. I worked with him a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, a movie called Winter Kill. We did that. And of course, the Andy Griffith Show. And the Andy Griffith Show. Yeah. Where... that's when I got Alice B. Tokos. I got the call. Oh did that. And of course the Andy Griffith Show. And the Andy Griffith Show. Yeah. Where that's when I got Alice Petokos. I got the call, oh yeah, I got the call on the phone that I was going to do Alice Petokos and the contracts were being signed and everything. And a woman that played Aunt B came to me, Frances Baudier, she said I'm very happy but darling

remember this, it goes up, it comes down, it goes up, it comes down. Wow. Isn't that great? You remembered that. And I heard Andy and Aunt B hated each other. Oh, well that I wouldn't know, because I didn't spend that much time on the show. But that is great. Yeah.

That what she said, it goes up, it goes down. Wasn't that good? It goes up, it goes down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's some other names. Yeah, it goes down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Here's some other names. We're just gonna keep throwing these at you You did a movie called Malice and Wonderland with Elizabeth Taylor and didn't get to meet her It was so heartbreaking for me because she was my idol. I loved her, you know, you didn't have any scenes together we had no scenes together, I had to work with Jane the whole time and So I didn't get to meet her it was an interesting It was about Hollywood. It was an interesting, it was about Hollywood, it was about the Hedda Hopper and Luella Parsons.

Yeah, yeah. What about the Mary Tyler Moor hour, which you did? Yeah, we did 17 of those and David Letterman played my boyfriend. Michael Keaton was on that show. Wow. Ron Rifkin. And Ronnie. Yeah. Yeah. But it was not a... It was after she had done The Great Show. Yes.

And this was going to be part of a variety and part of a regular... In other words, she was an actress who was at a show. Right. And I was her secretary and Michael Keaton was the guy that worked at the studio, you know, one of those guys in his uniform. And she had a press agent, you know, it was that. Dodie Goodman. Do you remember Dodie Goodman?

Dodie Goodman. Oh, yes. We loved her. From Mary Hartman. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what do you remember about doing Twilight Zone? I, it was, first of all, it was thrilling to do Twilight Zone, number one.

Number two, we shot the sets for the old sets for Marie Antoinette, you know, it was at MGM, so it was all that stuff. And it was Gladys Cooper. Oh, yeah. Wilfred Hyde-White, Cyril Delamante, Cecil Kelleway. Alan Napier. Alan Napier. I couldn't believe that I was... and they all...

Gladys Cooper and Wilfred Hyde-White wanted to talk all day long about everything. They loved to gossip about Rex and Kay. Rex and Kay! I mean it was like... That would be Rex Harrison. I couldn't believe it. It was so great to do. I mean you're a kid from Queens. Exactly. And suddenly you're on the sound stage in Hollywood with these veteran. And my friend Lee Phillips played my husband so that was nice. So I had Lee as a friend there. So that was I remember only wonderful things. And Rod Serling came around you know. Oh that's what I was going to ask. Yeah he came around. I forget whether it was a meal that we all had or something. That was a class act and it still is.

You can make money if you sign pictures. And Rod Serling was nice? Yeah, he was. He smoked a lot. Oh, oh. But people did then, didn't they? That's the voyage, the passage on the Lady Anne, that episode's one of the hour long episodes.

Yes, an hour long one. Yeah, it's very spooky. It's you and Lee and you get on, I guess what is essentially a ghost ship. It's a said yes and we're ready to have a divorce but we're trying to stay together and then through this we get back together. It's sad. It's an interesting Twilight Zone episode because it's romantic. And it's sad as opposed to scary.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the actors are charming as opposed to... Oh yeah. Scary. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the actors are charming as hell. God, yes. Oh, excuse me. What about this one? The Lady Anne. Oh, I don't think so.

Why not? Well, for one thing, it's very nearly the oldest boat in the water, and it's certainly the slowest. Thirteen days to Lava, another half day to Southampton, if there are favorable winds. Well, forget it. No, no, no, wait a minute. It leaves on Thursday.

That's less than a week. Please, Mrs. Ransom. Forget it. Take your husband's advice. The Lady Anne is an antique, a relic. Look, we can relax when we get there, if that's what you want. Don't make such a big deal out of it. Well, it is a big deal to me. A very big deal. Give us two tickets. For this? Yeah, words to the to the theme song. You're going to sing Joyce the theme song? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I saw the good guys even longer since I've seen Mr. Terrific.

Oh, we can tell us about Rock Hudson. You did the Martian Chronicles. Yeah, but I didn't really get to know Rock Hudson. I worked with Darren McGavin. Oh, you know, they were they were Ray Bradbury short things. Yeah. From Fahrenheit for sure. Sure. So we it was Darren and I, but we were in Malta. And so I did see him at the hotel and everything and he was Very good-looking and very nice, but I didn't really spend time. Well, then tell us about Darren McGavin who we love

He was great. Was he nice to you? Oh, shit, yeah He was. We hope you're gonna say that about us when this is over. Well, I will. Well, that'll be pushing it. What was working with Gilbert Gottfried like? He was a prick. Oh and you worked with yet another favorite over here, Jack Gilford. Oh, here we go again. The best, right? We hear nothing but nice things. Sweetheart. He was a sweetheart. Yeah. And so good. Wasn't he so good? Oh, we loved him. Everything. We did a play together. We did supporting cast that was written by

George Firth, actually. Tell us a little bit about George you were starting to tell us before. Well, he just was wacky. You had to be careful around George. You know what I mean? There are people that you have to just watch, watch your step. But he was wonderfully bright and interesting, but he could start trouble. Really? Interesting. Wow. We love him. What about you did a Western with Dino and Brian Keith.

Yes. While something- Oh, and here's a nice story about an actor, Dean Martin. Oh, there you go. So there I was, we were in Mexico and I'm on a hill, Oh, and here's a nice story about an actor. Dean Martin. Oh, there you go. So there I was. We were in Mexico and I'm on a hill, badly dressed. This other actor's Judy Meredith.

And down the hill is Dean Martin and I guess Brian Keith. And Denver Pyle was in it. And who's also a wonderful actor. And Dean Martin starts walking up the hill toward me just about to start shooting and he says Wait a minute. He's and he says to me I just saw you and Alice B. Tokos and you such a wonderful performance. Wasn't that a nice thing? Nice and then he went back down the hill and I thought that was so nice to do to Before your first shot in a movie to make somebody feel good. Oh, wow. Yeah

You never heard a bad thing about that's a good Dean Martin. You never heard a bad thing about him either, did you Dean Martin? No, no, no actually. Well, I heard he and Frank Sinatra beat up the chairman of Hunt's Food. I don't think it was Dino, I think it was Frank. Yeah, yeah. As the story goes. Why would they do that? They were both, you know, in the bottle and they owned Vegas and he asked them

if they could hold it down a little and and they didn't like that and and I heard they beat up the chairman of Hunts Foods and he crashed through a glass table and was in a coma for a while. He almost died. And never, even scarier, he never pressed charges. Scared to death. Yeah. He was scared to death. Yeah. Those were the days when they didn't get that in the paper. Oh, yeah. Now you now you could do something alone in your room. And everybody knows. They they protected those people. Yeah, back then they were having affairs.

They were having people killed. It was like, you know, OK. I'm so knocked out by your by your long list of credits here, Joyce. I'm just going to throw some more names at you. You did Murder at the Howard Johnson's with our pal Tony Roberts. Yeah. And the great Bob Dischey. Bob Dischey, another funny guy.

Oh yes. He live in New York. We got to get Bob Dischey on this show. He's here. He's hilarious. I was with him not that long ago doing a play reading. I wonder if he'd do this with us. I bet he would love to do it.

I love Bob Dischey. Yeah. I think he's a comic genius. We do too. I think he's genius and that play, if that play, that's Ron Clark and Sam Bobrick. Yeah, good guys. Also writers on the decay show. If that had had a good producer, that play could have run because it was three characters, it was an audience pleaser and Bob Dischi gave an incredible performance. Yeah. And so did Tony, but Bob had the showier part. Funny guys.

And you're, I guess it's your nephew, Vincent Van Padden. Is Dickie's youngest son. Yeah. And he was both a championship tennis player and an actor. Yes. He, I actually watched him play at Wimbledon one year, but he, now I don't, he, now he does this poker thing. Do you know what he does? No. They do poker on television and he's, what do you call the ad? You know,

the people that talk about it. He's the, he's the, oh, it's a color commentator. Color commentator. Oh, that's interesting. And he goes all over the world. He goes to Mon he's the, oh, it's a color commentator? Color commentator. Oh, that's interesting. And he goes all over the world. He goes to Monaco and you know, wherever, and they do that. Shared his dad's love of poker. Yeah. I remember him on Apple's Way with Ronnie Cox.

Remember that show? Oh yeah. And he was the son. And he was a better routine heartthrob. Yes he was. He was in all those Tiger Beats things. Oh my God, yeah, he sure as hell was. Tiger Beats.

Yeah, really handsome guy. Yeah. How about Karl Malden. Yeah, really handsome guy. Yeah. How about Karl Malden? He's another nice guy. Well, what the hell are you doing on the show? We're gonna find a bastard. I'm gonna keep throwing through my notes. I must have hated somebody.

Surely there's somebody I can't stand. You were in that movie, a very odd film, Falcon and the Snowman. Yes. And that was Sean Penn and Tim Hutton. That's right. And we shot that in Mexico City. John Celestin.

Or I think Pat Hingle. And Pat Hingle. And Pat Hingle, another good actor. It's funny that you mentioned him. I just saw a little bit. Murder She Wrote was on the other night. And he was on it. He was a nice guy. He was very, not like an actor in any way. He was like a small town guy in a way. Sweet man.

He was always good at those parts. Yeah. I think he played my husband in that. That was a true story, the Falcon and the Snowman. Yes, yes, about these two kids who were taking government secrets. Yes, bringing them to the Russians. Yeah. Well, you knew Sean Penn's dad, didn't you? Leo. Leo, yeah. We did one of those, remember the amazing stories? Of course. We just had one of the writers in there. Leo and I did that. Yeah. Yeah, Steven Spielberg's amazing stories and you worked with Blake Edwards on blind date Yes, I did But I didn't have much to do in that and Pat Hingle had had a pinky missing he did Yeah, he fell down an elevator shaft Wow. That was it. That's how he

That's how he... I thought that would have been a great story. No, it's true. It's true. He did? Yeah, he fell, but I don't remember the specifics of it. Do you remember? I don't have that in here. So he fell down an elevator.

It was a bad accident and it was in the papers. It was some kind of accident where he's... and he did something to his... Yeah, I know he lost a pinky. And it's in films you could in films you could have lost more than a pinky oh my god yes but it was some elevator thing that happened but yeah he was a terrific character yeah wonderful wonderful it's amazing I honestly I James Whitmore Jimmy Whitmore yeah another nice fellow I do with him? Says here a show called The Loner, created by Rod Serling with James Whitmore.

Well, you know the truth is about a lot of these things when you do the television thing, you don't get to be with each other that much. I think when you're in a play with people and you see them eight times a week and you have that long, long, that's when you can really begin to hate people. But when you're just, you know what I mean. Or when you do a podcast with them.

But it's true. I mean, that's when you get your little, you know, get under your skin. Every tiny thing about their personality gets on your nerve. You were also married to Dennis Dugan, who you and Gilbert have somebody in common. Oh my, you were married to Dennis Dugan? Yes, I was. Yeah, he directed Problem Child. That's right. Starring Gilbert Gottfried. Yes. But I was married to him not then. I

We were divorced then. Oh, you would have known that. Yes. But I have worked with him since. And he was, what was the show he starred in? Well, he did Richie Brockleman. Yeah, Ricky. Wasn't that a, wasn't that a Rockford spinoff? Yes. No, I don't think so. Was a spinoff of something. I was married to him then. Richie Brockleman.

That was good. Yeah, I remember. Who was the man in it? It was an older star. Oh, god. Is Paul out there? Hey, Paul, let us know the older star from Richie Brockleman private eye.

He'll have an answer in 10 years from That's our researcher Joyce. He was fun on that show it didn't last long. No but he was very good on that. Oh yeah he was my director Dennis Dugan. Wow. Yeah yes. And recently directed you in Grown Ups. Yeah the first Grown Ups. The first Grown Ups. Paul what do you got on Richie Brockleman Private Eye? Nothing. Hi Joyce, nice to meet you. Can I share your mic? Sure, yes please. Be my guest.

Just pull it over. What are we looking for? Pull it to yourself. Pull it to yourself for a minute. Pull it to me. Alright. So what are we looking for? Richie Brockleman Private Eye. What are we looking for?

What are we looking for? Yes, I have answers. See, this tells us. He doesn't even know the question. So, Dennis Dugan as Richie Brockelman, Robert Hogan, Barbara Bosson, Norman Fell. Norman Fell. Is that Norman Fell? No.

Norman Fell in the pilot as Mr. Brockelman. Wasn't there another man that was the star? Well, he was Richie Brockelman. John Randolph as Mr. Brockelman in the series. Oh, I love John Randolph. Well, he was richie rockland. Oh as mr. Brockwood love John Randolph I maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was just him But I feel like he had a Jim Garner with him or somebody like that, but it wouldn't have been I think it what does it say that it was a Rockford file spin-off ball. Let me see. What does it say here? This is this picking him up Frank. Hopefully. Yeah

I'm at a really awkward position if that helps. Now did you ever work with Norman Fell? Sure. Yeah. I don't see any more in Brockman. Alright give her the mic back. Thanks for the loan. I not only worked with him, knew him, you know, knew him from New York like I knew Brett and Jack, you know, they were all from the same period of time. Yeah, I met him once briefly. He was cute. Very, very nice man. Fun.

And he was one of those who was equally good in drama and comedy. Yes, I agree. I think he was too. Yeah, yeah. How about Fritz Weaver? Yeah, he just, you know. He just lost him. Yeah. Fritz and I, I did a thing with Fritz where we all, all three women tried to kill him. It was like one of those things. They tried to do something from 11 to 1230 at night on NBC, I think it was.

So it was like, it was like three of his ex-wives tried to kill him. And weren't you going a play with him too? Oh yeah, we were in... I can't think of the name right now. Was it The Belasco? Yeah. I'll think of it. Good actor. Oh, and another great guy.

Another adorable guy. And his wife is a very good friend of mine. His wife, who is his widow now, is a very good friend of mine. What were you gonna say about Robert Preston before we brought up Mame? He was great too. He was. He was. I, I, really.

You've been lucky. I've been lucky. I have been lucky. Yeah. We're gonna make you get some of these people for us. I thought actually, in the long run, when I was sort of angry that I had been a child actor for a while and then I thought you know really if you think about it, it's not a bad environment to be brought up in. It's democratic pretty much. So from the time that I was a kid really I was working with African American people,

I was working with Asian people, I was, you know, so that was good. And you got, because I didn't have like a great education, I really didn't finish high school, but you pick up like intelligence from plays. You pick, don't you think that's true? So that's why I feel like in the end that you could do a worse thing in your life. I'm sure. I think Danny Bonaduce said, like, because they say it's so terrible, child actors. And he said, being a child actor is great.

Being a former child actor is what sucks. I actually worked with him. What did I do with him? Danny Bonaduce? Yeah. I got to go. He was only a kid. His father did I do with him? Danny Bonaduce? Yeah. I gotta go. He was a kid. His father was a writer, Joe Bonaduce.

His father was a TV writer. Well, you know, he may have done a Good Guys or something. Okay. As a kid. We'll go digging. Is it true you never worked another job outside of acting? Never had another job. Isn't that fascinating?

Well, you started when you were a baby. Yeah, but you know, most of the kids don't go on. Yeah. I mean, it's, and you wonder whether it's that they're not that interested, which is what I always hope. Yeah. That it isn't that they want to, but they can't, you know. I don't know, but most of the kids that we grew up with did not stay in the business. Also, what I find very weird and depressing is like on the internet and magazines, they'll say, oh, you know, here's the child actor back then, adorable.

And here he is now. And you go, well, he grew older like all of us grow old yeah but they he's not a freak he'd be a freak if he looked five years old how about Bob Newhart since I'm throwing names at you another gentleman well you know that's true yes you never heard a bad thing about yeah Bob Newhart oh we wouldn't necessarily want you to say anything bad about him. Maybe just an anecdote. No. Yeah. I wish I did, but I worked with him a couple, you know, a few times. I had a very good, Marshall Wallace was a good friend of mine and she was in the-

What a talented lady. Yeah, yeah. I miss her still. She was in LA and I was in New York, but we used to talk an awful lot on the phone. How about Alan Alda? You did a play with him. Yeah. The best guy,a? You did a play with him. Yeah. The best guy, right?

He's great. Yeah. And we were in a play together for a long, long time. Big swimming, right? Yeah. And then we even did it on television. And you didn't even hate him in the play? I didn't hate him.

He's not a guy you can ever hear a negative word about. No. He's another one that you can't hear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there were all these nice people. You've had a charmed career career and everybody's been so sweet to you and so kind to you. Except for Rob Steiner. Except for William Conrad calling you at two o'clock in the morning. Except dirty phone calls from William Conrad.

And yet it can be an abusive business, I think. Yeah, I'm sure. You can get your feelings hurt, I think, a lot. I'm sure. Not necessarily with the people you work with, but people can make you feel like not so good. And it is with child stars, if their voice changes slightly or they get a pimple,

people go, oh God, they're not cute anymore. They're not cute anymore. Get rid of them. It's horrible, that's true. That's true. That's true. And then a lot of child stars, it's like they don't know how to live in the real world after that. They just know being on a soundstage. Yeah, and that can be very unreal, being on a soundstage.

I mean, the real world is not being on a soundstage. And so some of them, they don't know. They don't know how to make a soundstage. I mean the real world is not being on a soundstage. And so some of them they don't know. They don't know how to make a dentist appointment or anything like that. No, that's very true. That's very true. No, it can be bad. And then they can lose their money. They can work very hard and not end up with any money. You know, stuff like that. That's the ultimate story. And and You can't get to you have to get out of that. It's I think it's harder in Hollywood. Honestly I think that that's really a company town

I think you have a better chance of you know staying really in the real world if you're in a city or You know a lot of those stars now, they don't live in Hollywood and now they live in you know or you know a lot of the stars now they don't live in Hollywood anymore they live in you know Wyoming sure where you know I get it I really do get it. Or if you're George in Italy. If you're George you're in Italy but you know I get that don't you? Sure sure. And getting back to problem child we had on the problem child himself. We had him here yeah.

Michael Oliver who was the kid and for a, it looked like his whole life was going down the drain. And now he like works with computers. He's very happy, very content. He supports himself. He accepts his former childhood stardom. But now he's got another life that he totally accepts. Well, that's great. I mean, that's great that you can do that,

because I think some people can't. You worked many times with an actor we had in here who was a child star. He was a teen star, but Matthew Broderick. Oh, yeah. No, he's my friend. I love Matthew. I was with him, you know, when he became a star.

And that was really interesting. That was Brighton Beach Memoirs. Yeah. And he turned 21. And that was really interesting. That was Brighton Beach Memoirs. And he turned 21. And it all happened. We did the show first in Los Angeles and then in San Francisco, and then we opened on Broadway.

And I mean, it was gigantic. He became a huge star suddenly on Broadway overnight. And his father had just died. James Broder. Yeah, just about, I don't know, nine months before, eight months before. And I, you know, it was really something to see him try to handle himself through it. And he, I think, is a real person. I mean, he never drank the Kool-Aid.

New York, growing up here instead of growing up in the theater world. Very unassuming. Totally. Totally real. Never changed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it's so funny because he thought it was all over when he didn't, when that movie fell apart. He was supposed to make that movie. Which movie? With Martin Ritt, No Small Affair, and Sally Field. He came in and told us that. Oh, right. And the the movie fell apart and he thought that's it I'm done. Yes. And then he had a cold streak where he couldn't get any he couldn't get any parts and then boom. And he's so good I think he's so talented. So good at everything. Yeah yeah yeah and she's you know darling Talia my daughter is on a show with Sarah. Oh she's on divorce.

They're on divorce. Yeah yeah. Yes yes yes. Now have you ever worked with Talia, my daughter is on a show with Sarah. Oh, she's on divorce. They're on divorce. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Now have you ever worked with Talia? Yes, we were in Jake's Women together, actually. Jake's Women is another Neal play. Yeah. That we didn't work together.

Yeah. Alan, Alan Alda was in it, and Talia, and yeah, she's a great girl. Yeah. Joyce, you've had an incredible career. I have. An incredible run. I didn't realize what a great career I'd tell you.

I spent the afternoon or evening I should say with you two guys. You're so sweet. It started off. I am definitely going to feel very good tomorrow. Sleep well tonight. Well, come back and we'll do it again and we'll go through the other half of your credits. Okay, anytime. God tell ya.

Yeah, I'll figure out who did Richie Brockham with Dennis. I'm gonna figure that one out. Our listeners are screaming it into their, uh, into their... And I guess there's no way to avoid the line, we haven't scratched the surface. No, I mean, you know, you look, she's like Mcod and Mannix and can Hawaii 5-0 and cannon and and every sitcom Dennis was good. What was that? Yeah, he was funny. You did everything I did everything what more now. I'm going to go home Well, yeah, you want to plug before you go? I have nothing to plug but I haven't I have a dog

I know that right now that dog is going, where the hell is she? Tell us about the dog. She said it was just going to be a couple of hours and now what's going on? Where is she? But I totally enjoyed this really. Oh, this has been a thrill for us. Oh, thank you. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadri and we've

had on Joyce Van Patten. Thank you Joyce. You have to be crazy not to. Thank you and thanks to Richard Kind. Red-fell the trees and lions, printing lions, candy witches, eating litchi leaves, spinning rainbowing light. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santopadre with audio production by Frank Verderosa. Our researchers are Paul Rayburn and Andrea Simmons. Web and social media is handled by Mike McPadden, Greg Pair,

and John Bradley Seals. Special audio contributions by John Beach. Special thanks to John Murray, John Fotiades, and Nutmeg Creative, especially Sam Giovancho and Daniel Farrell for their assistance. Can of the sativa, sweet sativa, Chocolat de mountain soul. I love you Alice B. Douglas And so does Kurt Lutztine I love you Alice B. Douglas I'm gonna change your name to mine

I love you Alice B. Douglas And so does Kurt Lutztine I love you Alice B. Douglas I'm gonna change your name to mine I love you Alice B. Douglas