Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Laraine Newman

Episode Date: March 8, 2021

Actress, comedian, Emmy-nominated writer and loyal GGACP fan LARAINE NEWMAN returns to the show to discuss descending from Jewish cowboys, growing up in celebrity-land, co-founding The Groundlings, auditioning for Bob Hope (and Robert De Niro) and her engrossing new memoir, "May You Live in Interesting Times." Also, Don Ameche mounts a comeback, Chevy Chase tells the "Aristocrats" joke, Laraine crushes on Illya Kuryakin and Walter Matthau turns down the Julia Child sketch. PLUS: Autumn Fizz! "American Hot Wax"! Buck Henry gets kinky! "That's Not Funny, That's Sick!" And Laraine recalls working with Bob & Ray, Dudley Moore and Rodney Dangerfield! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ontario only. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I'm Dave, and saving with TD Insurance made me feel like I scored my own jingle. With over 30 ways to save, nobody seems like Dave. Save on home and auto like only you can at tdinsurance.com slash ways to save. TD. Ready for you. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And our guest this week is returning to the show for a second time, and we're thrilled that she decided to take another plunge. we're thrilled that she decided to take another plunge. She's an actress, comedian, voice actor, a comedy historian, and an Emmy-nominated comedy writer, a cast member of the original Saturday Night Live. I think I've heard of that particular program. A founding member of the legendary Groundlings comedy group and theater, and we're happy to report a devoted listener of this very podcast. You know her work from popular TV shows like Saint Elsewhere, Third Rock from the Sun, Friends, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Beavis and Butthead, American Dad and Bob's Burgers, to name a few. And in feature films like Tunnel Vision, Stardust Memories, Holy Moses,

American Hot Wax, Perfect, Invaders from Mars, Coneheads, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and a little flick called Problem Child 2. Again, I think I've seen that one. She's also done outstanding voice work on numerous television shows and in movies. Finding Nemo, Shrek 2, Wall-E, Toy Story 3, Inside Out, Wreck-It Ralph, Minions and others. Her new memoir is a terrific one. It's called May You Live in Interesting Times and includes hilarious anecdotes about her childhood, her years on SNL, and her long and strange journey through show business. Frank and I are pleased to welcome back to the show one of our favorite funny people

as well as a fellow monster kid, and a woman who once auditioned for a movie by sitting on Robert De Niro's lap, stroking his hair, and singing to him, our pal Lorraine Newman. Hey. Hi, everybody Lorraine Newman. Hey. Hi everybody. Lorraine. Hey. How are you? I'm great, guys. Absolutely great. Sweating my ass

off in my closet talking to you. She's in a closet. We should point out to our listeners. When are you finally going to come out? Don't go there, honey. Just don't. You're in the closet for audio. I always suspected that with you.

Oh, you have no idea. Lorraine is sitting in a closet for proper audio, for best audio. You know, and we have to put our faith in her because she's a professional voice actor. Yes. in her because she's a professional voice actor. Yes, and I've had to learn all sorts of methods of recording, compressing a file, and delivering it on several platforms. Isn't that a good story? Yes. Well, since most

of our guests can't do that, we're greatly relieved that you can actually record on your own and deliver on your own. Do you want to tell Gilbert the De Niro story before we move away from it? Because it's in the memoir and it's very funny. Do you want to tell Gilbert the De Niro story before we move away from it? Because it's in the memoir, and it's very funny. To kind of backtrack, when I was around 19,

my boyfriend was an artist, and he lived very close to the Tropicana Motel, which was really infamous. It was the scene of many heroin overdoses and the setting for Andy Warhol's movie Trash. And right below it was Duke's. It was a coffee shop, so it was known as Duke's at the Tropicana. And it was really like the Hollywood canteen.

It was family-style seating, so you could be sitting across from Iggy Pop or next to Tom Waits. And one of the friends that we made at these breakfasts was Martin Scorsese. And he was just like doing the finishing touches on Mean Streets. He invited us all to see a rough cut, but he hadn't put the music on it yet. So spool forward two years later,

this was why it was so important to me that I do a good job when I auditioned for King of Comedy. And I was told I'd be auditioning with Jerry Lewis. But in fact, Jetty wasn't there. It was Robert De Niro. And, you know, I was so unprepared in the sense that I, you know, I worked on it, but I knew that I wasn't the kind of actress that was uninhibited enough to be seen with their clothes off, to be psychotic, to be, you know, as I did in the audition, sitting on De Niro's lap, stroking his face and hair and singing to him while he's hating me. to him while he's hating me. I just, I didn't have the balls or the chops for that. Which, you know, Gilbert, that's so distracting

during an audition. Knowing that you can't do it. The part that Sandra Bernhardt would obviously go on to get, the masha. Who was great in, yes. She was great. Well, you hate auditioning and Gilbert hates auditioning. Yeah. I got better at auditioning over the years. In the

beginning, it was a complete nightmare. And then after a while, you realize, all right, my chance of getting this is one in a trillion. I might as well try to have fun with it. That's a great attitude, I must say. I just have like an out-of-body experience. And after all these years of auditioning, I'm still in the corner of the room on the ceiling watching myself. And I just, I can't focus because of the fear. And some actors said he gives his best performances on the drive home. Oh, yeah. And you think of what you could have done. That's painful.

Yeah. You're going, oh, God, why was I doing it that way? Yeah. That's, well, life's too short for that. I learned a lot of things about you, Lorraine, listening to the memoir. I got the audible version and listened to almost all nine hours of it. I think I fell about 20 minutes short. But, Gilbert, did you know that Lorraine's father was a Jewish cowboy?

This sounds like the beginning of a bit. He was? This sounds like the beginning of a bit. I'm trying to think of the punchline. I haven't got one, but yeah, they were, my dad was born in Los Angeles, but raised in Arizona and they were cattle merchants. So my dad had his own horse and he took part in you know cattle drives one when they were Los Angeles did a cattle drive to Calabasas if you can imagine that and but yeah he would still eat at the dinner table like he had overalls on with his thumb hooked into the the strap you know that's how he would eat.

And I think in the book, I talk about the fact that my dad actually said ornery varmint. I brought a cat into the house. I didn't know that he did not like cats, like did not like cats. And he really, he was furious. And he said, you get that ornery varmint out of here. And I was a teenager.

I remember thinking, Dad, we're Jews. How did you? Well, okay. Sounds like something that a cartoon character would say. Yeah, exactly. Possibly the only Jewish man to ever lead a cattle drive. Possibly. Yeah, I don't think that's true.

Your grandfather was a sheriff? Yeah, he was a sheriff in this small town. I love that. It was a mining town that only now exists as a tourist attraction. It was a silver mining town called Chloride. It was on an Indian reservation. Very, very small town. See, now this gets me to that question. I don't know if anyone could answer it. How many Jews were there in the Old West?

Well, if you watch Deadwood, there was at least one. Uh-huh. You'd be surprised how many families go way back. do you remember the singer carla bonoff yeah yeah i remember her she's fifth generation californian so you know and the if you think about what the industry was at the time like five generations back it was nothing but you know farming and and things of that nature so you get a lot of la history listening to your book too that's what so one of the things i was telling you on the phone that's so fascinating about it it's not only your history it's the history of you you learn about beverly hills high school gilbert uh lorraine went to school that that

that swimming pool that's under the basketball court, and it's a wonderful life. When Jimmy Stewart's dancing at Donner Reed and they're almost falling in the water, that's Lorraine's school. Wow. Another school that I thought didn't really exist. Just like calling someone an honorary partner. I got a million of them, honey. I got a million of them, honey. I got a million of them. Alfalfa's in that scene,

by the way. Pardon? Alfalfa's in that scene. That's right. He's the one that opens it. He's the one that opens up the thing where Jimmy Stewart falls into the pool. He was still a rascal. He died. He had a long life and

a happy death. Yeah. Yeah, he was something like, I don't know how, he was young. Yeah. And I think he was stabbed to death or something. Oh, my God. I think he was stabbed over a dispute about a dog. Yeah.

I think. He was borrowing it or the other guy was borrowing it. Yeah. Nobody wants that kind of death. I don't remember the details. Tell us about being on Kids Say the Darnedest Things as a kid. What were you four? I was four years old and I have a

twin brother. He was supposed to be on with me. The teachers recommend the kids for these shows. But my brother, we were watching Spin and Marty the night before. And my brother, my older brother said to my twin brother, you look like your eyes are about to fall out from watching TV. So I had told Art Linklater that was the reason why Paul wasn't there. And Art, of course, got a big laugh saying, another mighty blow for a television today. But, yeah, you know, I remember it very vividly. And they also gave everybody 78 recordings.

That's how long ago it was, people, a 78 recording. And a tiny tears doll. Wow, do you still have the recording? Yes, but it's really hard to hear. I can imagine. How could you even play a 78? Well, not anymore. I don't have a turntable. The last

time I think we ran into each other was at the Saturday Night Live 40th reunion. Wasn't the Tribeca Film Festival after that? I think that's where I saw you. I'm all confused, but I did run into you. Yes, both places.

And this, what was upsetting to me, you're walking along with this attractive grown woman and you said to me that you were pregnant she was your daughter and you were pregnant with her when you were doing problem child two yes five months trying to hide it and i thought holy, that's a number of years. Yeah, it's how do we otherwise measure time except by the size of our children? Yeah. Yeah, they're going to be 28 or 29, actually. Wow. Oh, Christ.

I don't remember Problem Child 2 as well as I should. You guys have scenes together? No. No. We don't have any scenes together, but it was fun. All of us there in Orlando. Yeah, Lorraine is, her character is madly in love with John Ritter. Yeah, I've had two people, the people that recognize me from that movie are usually security guards.

I don't know why and i've had two people tell me that they've gone as lawanda for halloween that was the ultimate to me i loved that yeah yeah i remember we had no we talked like during the making of it we hung out a little bit but never yeah we had no scenes. Yeah, I have a really cute Polaroid of you and I. You've got the Kleenex around your collar because we're in makeup, and I'm going to send it to you. It's very cute.

Oh, thank you. Talk about getting started so young, Lorraine. I find this interesting, too. You know, 15, 16. Gilbert was 15 when he took the stage for the first time. I know. You guys both 15, 16. Gilbert was 15 when he took the stage for the first time. I know. You guys both knew right out of the off the bat.

You guys both knew what you wanted. Well, also, you know, I saw Gilbert do a show. What was that show that Paul Provenza did? Where it was like karaoke stand-up.

There would be a screen in back of them. Oh, was that the list? The something list? The A-list? No. It's a, no. Not the green room. Oh, was it the aristocrat? No, no.

It wasn't the green room either. It was a different show because it was the name of the actual improvised game. Oh. But it's an improvised game where there's a screen in back of you and there's random topics written by convenience. Yes, yes, there's something less. And you have to, the set list, that's what it's called, the set list. Yeah, the set list. And Gilbert

knocked it out of the park. He was just amazing. You know, and for someone who does straight stand-up, I mean, I don't know if you ever considered yourself an improviser, but you were for like 25 minutes. And nailing it. Yeah. That was so much fun to do. Cause I, I was the whole time I was going, Oh shit. I, I, I can't do my regular fucking act. But it would be topics like you know mermaid psychiatrist you know yes things like that it's just he was great but and you and you don't have a chance to think you have to do it

right away yeah so we got to see your id it was nice well gilbert you riffed in the back in the day you would get on stage with belzer and do stuff off the top of your head. You used to do Dick and Stinky, the ventriloquist thing. Oh, yes. And with Robin, too, no? Yeah, and yeah, Robin would call me up on stage, and I used to like, and I used to like to just not do anything for my act. And if the audience was booing and walking out, I thought, oh, okay.

Even happier. Yeah. I was, you know, in the theater department in high school, but I was performing in camp, writing my own shows. And I saw Marcel Marceau at Royce Hall, which is at UCLA, and I became enthralled with this form of comedy with no words. So I went backstage after his show and I asked him if there was someone in L.A. I could study with, and he gave me the name of Richmond Shepard. So I started studying with him when I was 15 or 16. And at the same time, Richmond was also teaching improv. So that was when I started studying the Viola Spolin games as well.

So many people have come on this show and talked about Viola. Well, we had Paul Sand, of course. Well, she's the grandmother of, I mean, she's really the genesis of the form. Well, she's the grandmother of, I mean, she's really the genesis of the form. Yeah. And what was it like, how did you get the audition for Saturday Night Live, and what were you going through when you were doing it? Well, first of all, everybody hates me when I say this. I didn't know I was auditioning. Lorne was producing a Lily

Tomlin special so he and Lily came to see the Groundlings and this was in the very beginning when we had just named our company and they were looking for people for her special and they hired me. And then Lauren came back a second time when I was doing new material and new characters. And he asked me to meet him at the Chateau Marmont to talk about a show that he was going to be doing. And, you know, I trusted him. I liked his taste. I knew that he was doing stuff that, you know, I never expected to see on TV. So it was thrilling.

How did he pitch it to you as Monty Python meets 60 Minutes? A cross between Monty Python and 60 Minutes, yes. And you kind of bluffed and pretended you knew what Monty Python was. Right. And I got kind of teased a lot for not knowing them but they weren't on in LA in 1975.

I mean they just started in 1975 when I already left for New York. So I'd never seen them. I like how you describe Lorne in the book. You say most people think of him as this mogul. And you think of him as this Canadian comedy writer wearing reindeer sweaters. Yeah. And really cute.

Really good looking. Yeah. And we were friends for a long time. So what was the process? I mean, he pitched that to you. You had to meet Ebersole as a formality. Do I have that right? Yes.

Ebersole was there at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and I was to go meet him there. And I approached from this side area. There was a sidewalk, and then I saw a sliding door and this guy standing beside it saying, don't come any closer. I have pneumonia. So my whole interview with him was a screen door. Yeah. But he was so wonderful. He was so charming and so self-effacing.

And, you know, everybody was young. I think he was 28. I was 22. I was 22. Lorne was 28. And, you know, Dick said, yeah, I come from the wide world of sports. So that absolutely qualifies me for late night comedy. So I just adored him right away. But they say that Austin Powers' Dr. Evil was based on Lorne Michaels.

Well, you know, I'm not inside Mike Myers' head, but it is a really good impression of Lorne. And that thing he does with his finger, Lorne chews on his cuticle. He may not do it anymore, but he did it a lot. So that's what that gesture is about. That's funny. Lorraine, you're a bit of a comedy historian, too, as we talked about. In the Cliff, maybe not as studied. Not as archival as Cliff Nistroff, no.

As Cliff is. I mean, you're dropping names in your memoir like Corbett Monica and Pat Morita, the hip nip. And Jackie Vernon. Have you heard Gilbert's Jackie Vernon bit? Yeah, no. You do one of your own. Please do it. Here's some slides from my vacation.

Here's Manuel leading us around the quickssand here we are from the waist up here's a bunch of picks and shovels and things yeah well the one i did was his routine about the hitchhiker yes you know um here I am driving my car. Here I am picking up the hitchhiker. Here's the hitchhiker stealing my car. Here's me hitchhiking. Here's me being picked up by the hitchhiker who stole my car. You know, he was the best. He was so good.

Tell us about influences, too. Like Eve Arden turns out to be a childhood influence of yours. And then there are these seminal moments in your story. Yes, seeing Marcel Marceau, but also seeing the committee live in L.A. Yes, and also listening to the Credibility Gap on KRLA radio. And then eventually seeing them at the Ashgrove, which is now the Improv West. I guess I don't even have to say West anymore. The one in New York is closed, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. I think so. I lost my train of thought. You're talking about seeing the committee. You saw them at the Tiffany on Sunset? Exactly. I remember that place. It was Howard Hessman and Gary Goodrow and Carl

Gottlieb and Valerie Curtin. Funny people. I don't remember who else.lieb and Valerie Curtin. Oh, funny people. I don't remember who else. I think maybe Larry Hankin. I'm not sure. Larry Hankin was in the committee. Boy, it was, I'd never seen that before either. I mean, it was a lot of firsts.

We had access to so much in LA in terms of any kind of culture, play, dance, comedy, music, and I thrived on it. I went to see all of it. Was improv the thing about it that was exciting you? Was it written sketches? Was it both? It was both. I especially love sketches because I was always a little bit anxious on behalf of the actors when it was improv. And to this day, when I go to see Groundlings shows, I mean, they've narrowed the form down to such a degree where it's like, you have a pencil, go, you know, and I'm, my stomach is just in knots watching that, but everybody is so good. Gottlieb was here with us. Oh, yeah. A funny guy.

I love Carl. Funny guy. And Peter Bonners, too. And Hesseman, we got to get him on the podcast, Gil. Howard Hesseman. Yes. You and Tracy, and we should mention your sister Tracy, who's also in comedy, an Emmy-winning comedy writer.

You guys were among the founding members of Groundlings? Yes. The initial people in the company were Valerie Curtin, who is actually Jane Curtin's cousin. Tim Matheson, who ultimately played the role that was written for Chevy in Animal House. Right. Pat Morita. Jack Su. Jack Su, Gilbert.

Jeez. And you know what we found out when we had Hal Linden on? Yeah. Jack Su is not Chinese. He's Japanese. Huh. And he changed his name to, he thought like a lot of people hated the Japanese since World War II.

So he changed it to Jack Su. Wow. I did not know that. Yeah. Everyone assumed he was Chinese. I love the story in the book where you're talking about that trust exercise where you had to fall backward. Oh, God. Well, I was at CalArts for about three months, and it just wasn't for me, although it is where I met Paul Rubens.

But, yeah, this was a dinky theater off of Vermont called the Cellar Theater. And, you know, the first thing I had to do when I got there was this fucking trust exercise where I had to stand on top of like a five-foot brick wall and kind of just, you know, fall back, you know, like something you'd see, like a mosh pit, you know, into the arms of all these strangers. And I hated that kind of stuff. It was just so, I don't know, corny to me. But they did catch me. Two of the people catching you were Pat Morita and Jack Su.

Yeah, it was all the people I mentioned. I love that. But does anybody remember that show Valentine's Day with Tony Franciosa and Jack Su? You know, you mentioned that in the book book and I actually do not remember that one. Oh my God, it was so good. I remember Jack Sue on The Odd Couple. I remember him obviously in Barney Miller and I remember Pat Morita from

A Million Things. Well, now we have to go to the Museum of Television and see if they have Valentine's Day. Did you stay in touch with those guys at all? Oh, no. No. Yeah. Matheson, too. It's just, to be there, just to be a witness to all of that stuff when it was happening.

Yeah. When it was exploding. I saw Tim Matheson at Sketch Fest a couple years ago when they were doing a tribute to Animal House. And it took him a while. I was like, hey. I could tell by the look in his eye he had no idea who i was but after that it was really that's the look i get when i run into absolutely anybody

when when covid lifts i mean and you probably haven't done this in a long time, you still go to the Groundling shows. Oh, absolutely. Do you ever get the urge to get up and do something? I, no, no. But we do have an alumni class that we do that is run by Bill Steinkillner, who is a Groundling. I know that name, too. Yes, and he and his wife, Sherry, both are showrunners. So it's all, you know, of us seasoned, older groundlings that do this improv class.

And every once in a while, I feel a little okay about doing improv, but not at the groundlings. Those people are next level, really just beyond anything I could have ever done. And I wasn't really a great improviser to begin with. So I don't think, I mean, I've done like Cooking with Gas, which is, it's a regular improv show with someone from the Sunday Company and a member of the alumni group. But it's been a while.

But also the Groundlings is doing their shows on Zoom now. Right. And if you think improv is hard, imagine being done on Zoom. They're just consummate, those people. They really are. I can imagine. Gilbert is going to attempt to do stand-up on Zoom in a couple of weeks. Make sure you can hear, unmute the people who are watching

so you can hear the laughs. Yeah, that scares me. I mean, the idea of going out there and it's like doing it alone in your room, which it literally is. That's how we all start, isn't it? Yeah. Lorraine, do tell the story about auditioning for Bob Hope and put in the

details that you know Gilbert will appreciate. Okay. Because it's in the book. I was in the Groundlings and I was doing this monologue of the Valley Girls, Sherry the Stewardess, that it was eventually, the whole monologue is used in the Godfather group therapy sketch on SNL. A favorite. But I was auditioning. This is 1973, auditioning for Bob Hope. And, you know, I was so scared because I really had never auditioned for anybody before. I certainly didn't know I was auditioning for Lily's show.

And this was after that. auditioning for Lily's show and this was after that but um they had me go into his dressing room which was like a little bungalow on the sound stage and it was crowded with a bunch of guys that I think were his golf buddies and they all kind of looked like the characters in that Bill Braski sketch on SNL yeah they all looked like that. They had, you know, the gin blossom nose and the roomy eyes and stuff. And Bob Hope was sitting on a couch holding a golf club, and

his legs were akimbo. And I could see the outline of his balls. Which is distracting, let me tell you. He was not wearing any kind of support, so they were just hanging there like jingle bells. And I did this same monologue, you know, Encino and Bitchin' Bod and all this stuff. But of course, in 73, nobody had ever heard of a Valley Girl.

And he was just looking at me like, what are you? bitch and bod and all this stuff but of course in 73 nobody had ever heard of a valley girl and he he was just looking at me like uh what are you and what is that thing you just did because i want to tell you you and it don't even belong in the same building as show business oh i mean he i he didn't say that i i that's what i believe he was thinking see. He really looked at me like I was not even a human being. Like I had three heads or something. Which one was more painful, the Bob Hope audition or the King of Comedy audition? Oh, the King of Comedy, for sure. You'd have to sit on Bob's lap and play with his hair.

De Niro's expression on his face looked like he was smelling a Chinese restaurant dumpster. looked like he was smelling a Chinese restaurant dumpster. Which, again, he was supposed to be doing, but I can only imagine what he was thinking. At least Bob didn't sit on his own balls like Mr. Belvedere. Oh, God. On your podcast. Yeah, you've heard that.

You're not going to tell that story. I was actually on the lot. I was doing an appearance on some show, and Mr. Belvedere was being done on that lot. And so we were the first ones to get the story that Mr. Belvedere was being rushed to the hospital by ambulance because he just sat on his own balls. Oh, sometimes fortune shines on you, Gilbert. Lorraine, we jump all over the place.

She's heard it on the show. She listens to the show. She's heard you're John MacGyver. She's heard. You know about Cesar Romero as well, assume oh my god the lemons yes the oranges oranges my goodness caesar romero would never take lemons on his ass it was strictly orange what is the source of that story? I gotta know. Yeah, where'd that

come from, Gil? I don't know, but I've heard it a couple of times. Some even claim that he would stand ankle deep in warm water. Oh my God. Well, it's kind of like

I hear variations on the Danny Thomas, where in some stories I hear he would dress up in a priest outfit. Cesar Romero or Danny Thomas? Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas. Cesar Romero would never dress as a priest outfit. No. And never lemons.

Caesar Romero would never dress as a priest and never lemons Lorraine we'll get back to SNL but this is I like the story too and the memoir goes all the way from your childhood growing up in what would you move six times seven times yes six times

in Los Angeles as a kid there's fascinating LA history and tell the Fred Astaire story because there's a sweetness to it and a sadness to it. Yeah. And it also speaks to why we do this podcast is so that is so that great veteran performers are never forgotten. Well, first, I should say that, you know, Beverly Hills and Los Angeles, it's just like any other industry town, even if it were like Detroit. Except this one, if it was Christmas, you would see Cary Grant shopping at Carol and Company. Or, you know, there was a fencing school on Santa Monica Boulevard with a big picture window. And I

remember seeing Tony Curtis shirtless fencing, you know, in the school. But one day my friends and I were walking on Rodeo Drive and I saw Fred Astaire. And I mean, he was, he looked ancient. His skin had that kind of peppery, papery kind of texture to it. And he seemed very feeble. And I kind of tapped him on the shoulder, which surprised him, I think, unpleasantly. And I said, oh my God, it's you. He says, yes, my dear. And I, you're wonderful.

And he says, thank you. It's nice to be remembered. And I remember thinking at the time, how could he think that we would know, that anybody would not remember him? And then that movie Ghost Story, which I'm sure you've seen with Douglas Fairbanks and Melvin Douglas. John House. These these guys that get away with murder and are haunted. And it was like he was a different guy. He'd had work and it was as if it breathed life into him again

uh and that was so inspiring because it can happen that's the thing about our business you're never too old you know you think about someone like don amici or ralph bellamy having their careers you know revitalized because they were used by someone who was hit to them. Right, right. And then they continued to work. Yeah. I heard when they were doing, oh, God, what the Eddie Murphy. Trading Places. Trading Places. They said, the director said, I'd like this character to be kind of like a Don Amici, sort of like that.

He said that to Don Amici? No, no, to one of the other people working on the picture. And the other guy said, oh, well, Don Amici's still around. He goes, in fact, I saw him walking down the street yesterday. I think he lives around here. And that's how Don Amici got the part in Trading Places. That's sweet. They thought he was dead.

It's sweet. They both had a little renaissance after that. He and Bellamy. Yes. Amici's in that mammoth picture, Things Change. He's also in Cocoon. And Cocoon. That's right.

Yeah. They both started to work after that. Well, obviously, that's why I was talking to Stephen Weber the other day. You know Stephen Weber. Very well, yes. And he was talking about running into Carl Ballantyne. Do we all remember the amazing Ballantyne? Yeah, I know his daughter, too.

Oh, you do? Yeah. He's wonderful. Stephen said he saw Carl Ballantyne in an eatery in L.A. And he had to get up and go over to him and tell him what he had meant to him. And he said that the look in his eyes was unforgettable. Yeah. You know?

I also, I mean, the same thing with Danny Kaye. I saw Danny Kaye outside of Nate and Al's. I was a teenager. And I was across the street. But he saw me see him. You know, he saw, like, you know, the pupil dilation of excitement and winked at me. Oh, that's sweet. First kind word about Danny Kaye on the show.

Yes. Also, I mean, if you can imagine the look he was wearing, he had long hair and long sideburns and like a paisley scarf tied around his neck. It was the 60s, and he looked great. I mean, he really looked like he fit in with the— Dressing like Rod McKeown. Oh, yes. I remember I once was over at Carl Ballantyne's house, and I would ask him questions about these legendary showbiz people,

and I'd go like, so how was Jack Benny to work with? And he goes, oh, he was okay. He didn't bother anybody. I love that attitude. That's great. Aw. I love the part of the book where you're talking about seeing these people in the street and running into these people.

And who was your next-door neighbor? Well, I was down the street. Gilbert, we love this. I was down the street from Kirk Douglas, across the street from Groucho Marx. How about that? Jeez! And Edgar Bergen. That was on another street.

And what was it, the last house Where you had a neighbor who you said Wasn't home that much But his wife was there, or his daughter Oh no, that was the first house in Beverly Hills And it was Leo Gorsy's house Oh man His sister would hang out in front And she talked just like

The Bowery Boys, you know And she couldn't stand Kids, I tell you, wey boys, you know. And she couldn't stand kids, I tell you. We were always, you know, you kids stop riding your bike in front of this house and quit taking the rocks. She was... It sounds like you lived in a Hirschfeld drawing.

I don't know how Hirsch... That's... Oh, Hirschfeld, yeah. Yeah. For some reason, I thought Norman Rockwell. Yeah, Hirschfeld. That's right some reason, I thought Norman Rockwell. Yeah, Hirschfeld. That's right. That's a good way of putting it.

Who was in Beverly Hills? Go ahead, Gil. Yeah, no, so did you have dealings with Groucho and Kirk Douglas? No, not at all. Just I knew that they were neighbors. Edward G. Robinson lived nearby. But, you know, we lived in so many houses, and I forgot to mention that when my parents were selling their house on Cannon Drive,

William Castle came to look at the house. Oh, my God. That's not even in the book. No, it's not. That's great. You heard it first. That's great. I also love your little childhood crush on somebody we had on this podcast.

Tom Hatton? Well, yeah, Tom Hatton, by the way. I looked him up. He passed away in 2019. I know. I know you had a crush on Tom Hatton, who was the local Popeye host in L.A., Gilbert. Oh. Tom, he was like the L.A.

I guess the L.A. version of Officer Joe Bolton or Captain Jack McCarthy. Jack McCarthy used to do Popeye well we had here but uh the guy i'm talking about is ilia kuryakin oh god yes and that was a great episode by the way thank you great but he was fun yeah loved i loved martin landau from mission impossible leonard nimoy from star trek and david mccallum from Man From U.N.C.L.E. I just love the guys. And we really wanted Martin Landau. Oh, we tried hard. That would have been amazing. We tried hard. But what's the McCallum story? You were in high school or junior high? I was in high school and I want to just set the stage for what I looked like.

I was very skinny and I had a brace. I had a body brace that went from my neck to my hips. And I had cystic acne and braces. And at night I had to wear one of those things, you know, the thing that goes. A retainer? It's the strap, the headgear goes all the way around the back of your head. I was a looker. And in the book, I say, is that a recipe for comedy or what? But what was the body brace? It was for scoliosis. Oh, OK. Yeah. And but at least I wore it from 13 to 15 and a half, you know, when you're not self-conscious. But, you know, there was an oil well that's still there that is above the football field.

But there was also a power station that was used a lot for action shows. And they were filming Man From U.N.C.L.E. there one day. And we had run the track and we were all kind of lying down on the grass, cooling off. Our shirts were open, some of us, you know, just to cool off. And there I was, resplendent in my brace and trainer bra. And, you know, my eyes were closed and I was doing what bra and you know my eyes were closed and i was doing what i always did when my eyes were closed i was fantasizing about david mccallum and then i opened my eyes and i look up and there's this chain link fence and he's like resting on his

arms his chin is on his arms looking down like an amazonian explorer coming upon a tribe of people thought to be extinct. He just looked so like, what is this? You know, and then he walked away. But then later on, I went up to the set and met him. And it was really the kind of thing where I took some of the gravel that he stepped on. And, you know, it was just a typical teenager. This is why I love the stories of growing up in L.A. It's a wonderland because you could live across the street from Groucho, next

door to a Bowery boy, have a fantasy about David McCallum, and then David McCallum walks over. Yeah. But only in L.A. Yes. I guess so. It's kind of like, well, getting back to Jack Benny, it's like on his show, the doorbell would ring and it's like, well, why do you know? It's Jimmy Stewart.

It's Harry Von Zell. What do you know? Harry Von Zell. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Baseball is finally back. Get in on Major League action and swing for the fences with BetMGM, the king of sportsbooks.

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Find yours at newbalance.ca slash running. New help you run your way. Find yours at NewBalance.ca slash running. New Balance, run your way. Lorraine, let me throw some questions at you from listeners. There's some fun ones here. Mark Schatzberg asked Lorraine just to tell us one thing about the movie Holy Moses. And by the way, who do I have to throw orange wedges at to get my question read on this podcast? That's funny. There you go. It's now been read. Mark, you are terrific, Mark. He's in. Well, holy Moses. We had a lot of fun. I mean, I saw it for what it was, which was really kind

of a comedy salad. They were making a lot of movies like that in those days where they just threw every comedian imaginable. Gary Weiss, right, who was making the shorts on SNL. Gary Weiss directed it, yes, and David Bagelman produced it. But me and Dudley Moore british tv actors and he would name obscure american tv actors so he would say roy thinnis and i'd say diane salento and this this kept us going for a long time and he he was just wonderful i him. And we stayed friends after that. I'm a big fan of those guys. I remember I once met Roy Thinnes.

He's a great actor. Is he around, Roy Thinnes? I think he is because I've seen him somewhat recently. I think he is too. And I shouldn't say things like obscure because they're really, they were very, it was just, it was a time and a genre that you would never expect someone from England to know. Right. Maybe he watched The Invaders. Yeah.

I remember I said to him, I said, you were on that show, The Invaders. And I said, and the way you knew who The Invaders were was their pinky was malformed. That's right. And he looked at me. His eyes popped out of his head. But I knew that. That you knew that. Oh, beautiful.

Larry Cohen show, The Invaders, Gilbert. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, yes. I love Larry Cohen. He was great. We had him on here. I know. I heard it.

He's wonderful. You can't name a person that you've had on this show that I haven't heard. I've heard every episode. That warms my heart, Lorraine. Here's another one. Harold Steenworth. Hey, Lorraine, when you and Gilda and Jane did the wonderful Bob and Ray special, I second that. That is a treasure. You look like you're all really enjoying yourselves. Can you tell us one thing about working with Bob and Ray? Oh, my God. Well, you know, I think that Jane and Gilda and everybody in the cast, we came from our specific areas of comedy that we loved. I had never heard of Bob and Ray. This

was something that Franken and Davis were really passionate about. And I don't know if Gilda and Jane had heard of Bob and Ray until they came into our, you know, realm because of Franken and Davis were really passionate about. And I don't know if Gilda and Jane had heard of Bob and Ray until they came into our realm because of Franken and Davis. And that was even before the special. But to see guys that age for us, and they seemed ancient, to be that hip and have content that is so smart and appeals to us, but is also kind of alt. It would absolutely be considered alternative. It was really exciting. I'll never forget Ray Goulding singing, Do You Think I'm Sexy? Yeah.

That was great. That was wonderful. You and Gilda sort of hit it off. You know the show, and you know we've had Zwei Bill here a hundred times. He wanted me to say hi to you guys, by the way. Oh, I owe him a call. You guys are doing—and so I don't forget at the end, plug this event you're going to do that Jeff wants me to mention. You and Alan are going to do an event at the 92nd Street Y virtually, obviously.

Yes. March 11th? That'll be March 12th, or is it March 11th? He told me March 11th? March 12th, or is it March 11th? He told me March 11th. Yeah, and that's actually the day that the memoir is available on Audible. Good, let's keep plugging it. Let's plug it away, because people really need to hear it. But you said in the book that you and Gilda kind of hit it off right away, and then she was protective of you.

Yeah. I mean, she obviously hit it off with Alan right away as well, and they became famous friends. She was really a good person and really warm. And, you know, when I got there, I didn't know anybody. And Gilda knew John and Danny and, you know, eventually Bill Murray, too. She was older than I was. She had a lot more experience. She was older than I was. She had a lot more experience and was more confident than I was. And I don't know if I projected my fear at all, but she was just so warm and kind of mothering in a way, which was just what I needed.

And I think when we first met, she took me to a recording session for a Lampoon album called That's Not Funny, That's Sick. And that was where I met Belzer and Harold Ramis, Brian Dole Murray and Bill Murray and Bob Tischler. I can't remember who else. Big names. And Bob Tischler. I can't remember who else. Big names. Yeah.

And I worked on the album, Little Part, which was great because nobody knew me. And it was a nice vote of confidence. But, yeah, she did that first thing, which was pretty generous of her. And just all through, you know, our tenure on the show and after, I mean, she didn't ever forget my birthday. She knew I liked sushi and my house on Beverly Glen. I would see someone walking up the driveway and it would be sushi delivery from her. She just was that way. It's one of the nice things in the book, too, that you run that thread of the relationships with the people on the show. One of the nice things in the book, too, that you run that thread of the relationships with the people on the show.

And then there's, of course, a part of the book where you're dealing with John passing away and then finally Gilda's passing. So it's not all laughs. No. No, a lot of loss. A lot of loss. A lot of loss. And your friend Marjorie Gross. Yeah. Yeah.

And the Robert Durst thing that we won't go into. But people have to read the book. And read past, we'll tell our listeners, read past the Saturday Night Live section, too, because the chapters after SNL, some wild things happen to you. Yeah. I mean, from dating Warren Zevon to you're having parties at Larry Flint's house. No, no, I attended parties. Oh, you attended parties at Larry Flint's? Larry let me use his house, no, I attended parties. Oh, you attended parties. Larry let me

use his house for parties and Gilbert. It was so nice of him. And you know, you're talking about going to the playboy mansion and there's James Caan. You just, you, you witnessed everything that was happening in Los Angeles in show business from the last 35 years. Yeah, that's why I call it May You Live in Interesting Times, because I feel like I've had a front row seat at lots of really seminal shifts in our pop culture. And so it's not only a memoir, but it's also things that I've borne witness to that became something really significant in pop culture. Yeah, everything, the comedy boom, I mean, the improv, you know, the birth of that in L.A. with Gary Austin and the Groundlings.

And the Comedy Store when it first opened. Yeah, yeah. Who did you see at the store? You saw everybody, didn't you? I know you talked about Landisberg and Freddie Prinze. Yeah, and I saw the Step Brothersothers which was uh craig t nelson that's right craig t nelson uh how was it um barry levinson and rudy deluca it was the three of them they had like an act and i saw richard pryor and freddie prins and jay leno all trying out new material. It was really thrilling. It was a thrilling time. I saw Franken and Davis there, too.

They were wild. I saw Franken and Davis live during the Writers Guild strike in 1988. They were great. Yes, they were. They toured during the strike because they had nothing to do. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Tell us one thing about O'Donoghue because we've had Alan. Alan has talked about him. Yeah, that makes sense. And everything that was happening around you, I don't think I could have handled it at 33, let alone at 23, how young you were. I don't know if I handled it at all, but I can tell you when I first got there, everything I had was in a car that I drove cross country to do the show.

All of my records, all my clothes and all my written written material, and my costumes, and the car was stolen. So I had absolutely nothing. And I found that when I got back to LA, most of the things I owned had been gifts from the Belushis and O'Donohue. So I think that that's really kind of, you know, O'Donohue really gave great gifts and he gave them on no particular occasion. And I don't know that people really know that he was like that. No, because he has this reputation as being sort of a dangerous. Well, God help you if he didn't like you. Yes. We've heard that. And I wish I could have produced that letter that he had written. It was when Chevy was going to host the show.

He wrote this letter that he put on everybody's desk. And I cannot for the life of me remember what was in it, but it made Chevy so mad. And somebody's going to know what I'm talking about. I just can't remember. That's okay. We asked Chevy about a couple of unproduced screenplays that he and Michael wrote together. Yeah. You know, he's a larger-than-life character.

A friend of ours named Dennis Perrin wrote a good book about Michael O'Donoghue. Yeah. Mr. Mike. I've read it. I've read it. It's terrific. Yeah. Well-researched. I did a show and I saw, what is the name of that comedian? He's really, well, it'll come to me, but he's a tough customer. And he said, the only reason I'm doing this show is because I want to meet Lorraine Newman. And afterwards, he said, I love Michael O'Donohue and he says that you you and

John were the only people who really like got his material I never knew that and then I looked at the book and it really what Michael said was that John and I best represented his material were able to like interpret it probably closest to what he had wanted and envisioned. What a nice compliment. I remember someone was talking, God, one of our guests

was talking about John Belushi that when he was working on Animal House and he would fly back and forth to do Saturday Night Live 2. Yeah, to Oregon. And it was amazing to hear about it, because, you know, you just know, oh, John Belushi, wild man, totally drugged out. But he had, he was able to do that.

Like, he would fly back and forth. Yeah, I did that when I did American Hot Wax. I flew back and forth. And when I did, let's see, I did Holy Moses, I think. You must have still been on SNL when you did Holy Moses. I think you did. I think I was. Yeah, yeah.

But also when I did American Hot Wax, I was flying back and forth between L.A. and New York. You know we love the scary, weird anecdotes on this show, Lorraine. So I'm going to make you tell Gilbert what Chuck Berry said to you on the set of American Hot Wax. Oh, my God. Well, now I've been talking. Sounds good already. No, it's no big deal. But I was talking to him, you know, because I love talking to people about music. And at one point we were at the Wiltern Theater, which is at Wilshire and Western. And it was doubling as the Brooklyn Paramount. And there was a big curtain that was closed. And my back was against the curtain and he was in front of me and he pulled the curtains around both of us so that we were in kind of a cocoon and he said, Lorraine, I want

to make love to you. And I can't remember how I got out of it, but I remember making the mistake of telling Jay Leno about it. He teased me mercilessly. It was also in the movie. For the rest of the show. Yeah. Yeah.

It was not in the movie, no. No, Jay Leno's in the movie. Oh yes. Oh, he's in the movie. For the rest of the show. Yeah, yeah. It was not in the movie, no. No, Jay Leno's in the movie. Oh, yes. Oh, he's in the movie. He and Fran Drescher are the best thing in the movie, actually. Yeah, they're both good. Yeah, good movie, by the way. I rewatched it last night. Well, you know why it's hard to get is because they never got any licensing for the music.

It's on YouTube, which I shouldn't say, but it's a very affectionate, you know, look at that period. Obviously, Floyd Mutrix had a great fondness for Alan Freed. Yes. And it comes across. And you were playing sort of a Carole King type character. Did she pay you a compliment years later? Yeah. She said that of all the movies that depicted her experience at the Brill Building, that was the most accurate, which I thought was great. And I, you know, I did that stupid thing where it's like, there's some like Sandy Shaw song called Girl Don't Come or Boy Don't Come, Girl Don't Come, I think. And I was talking to her about it or it might have been stay a while by dusty springfield saying and you wrote that song she says no i didn't and i went yes you did

you know like 50 million people must have done that it's so embarrassing when you do that you're she's great yeah oh we'd love we'd love to get her here and she's you know as you know she's a little she's a little interview shy oh is she as you know carol king yeah we'd love to get her here and she's you know as you know she's a little she's a little interview shy oh is she as you know carol king yeah we'd love to get her here i'm not going to ask you about favorite hosts you go into i will tell people there's a lot of snl backstage stuff which is great i just do want to bring up uh buck henry uh the late, great Buck Henry, who Gilbert and I were lucky enough to have here. That's great. You know, and and Buck was was still sharp enough to do the show even after he'd had his stroke.

I can't imagine. And I don't want to. I'm not one of those people that says, you know, the new Saturday Night Live is terrible and it was only it was only great once. But I will say that. Imagine doing a show like a sketch like Uncle Roy now. Yeah, because it has so much merit. The show took such chances. I know, but I don't think that it was perceived on our part, at least as being as subversive as it would have been to any of us now after having children. You know, but Buck was wonderful. as it would have been to any of us now after having children, you know. But Buck was wonderful.

I mean, when I came back to L.A. and he was living here, he invited me up to his house for lunch. He made cheese and bologna sandwiches on white bread with mayonnaise. And I walked into his house and there was this kind of apparatus that looked like a swing. to his house and there was this kind of apparatus that looked like a swing. And I realized that it was not your regular swing. And he had no compunction about telling me exactly what it was, but it's so prominent when you walk into the house. And I was really clutching my pearls over that one, let me tell you.

I've heard some stories about i forget whether you told it or not uh but were you one of the people who uh there were a couple of people who saw melton burl's cock not me no i only heard about it but so i bell kept telling us how any chance burl got he would would show Zweibel his cock. And if you know Alan, Alan's very shy. And it's easy to, like, you know, really kind of run over his boundaries, so to speak. Knowing Alan as I do, I can only imagine the look on his face each time he was forced to look at his slang. Alan likes to describe as an anaconda.

Oh, dear God. Yeah. No, Lorraine did not have the pleasure, Gilbert, as established in our previous episode. But I did share with her a cartoon that one of our fans made. Yeah, that was amazing. Did you see it, Gilbert? I'll send it to Gilbert. I'm sure Gilbert's seen it.

We have some amazing artists among our fans. They go out of their way, as you can see. Brendan Bliss is his name, and he took our audio from that episode with Lorraine. And Gilbert, you do a whole bit about Uncle Miltie's cock stopping... Yes. Oh, I did see that. Yes, starting World War II. Amazing. Yeah.

And being seen from space. Being seen from space. What about, since you have such a great fondness for the old time comics, what about when Rodney hosted? Any memory of that? Well, just the fact that, you know, I, Lorne did not like us to break during a sketch. He felt that that was really kind of smacked of Carol Burnett and which there's nothing wrong with it. Just that we weren't that show. And I was never really challenged in that way.

I mean, when I look at the show now, when they do the sketch with Kate McKinnon where she's abducted by aliens. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. I don't know how Bobby Moynihan. She's great. And Aidy Bryant, keep it together. She's a great talent. Yeah.

And also what they set up with Stefan, with Bill Hader, where, you know. Seth Meyers? Well, no, it was John Mulaney who wrote that sketch and would surprise him with stuff that he hadn't seen in the dress rehearsal. So that's one of the reasons he'd be laughing so hard. But those days, you know, it took a long time to get to this show to be like that.

We were not supposed to do that. And the only time I was ever even mildly in a position where I almost lost it was when he, we were doing a parody of Manhattan, Woody Allen's Manhattan, called Manhasset. And I played the Mariel Hemingway part and, you know, Rodney's the Woody Allen part. And he says to me, don't go to Manhasset, Tracy. I'm telling you, it's rough. I bought a waterbed the other day and there's a guy at the bottom of it. You know, and I had heard that line.

I heard it in read-through. I heard it in dress rehearsal. I heard it on the air and I still was struggling not to laugh. He was great. My sister knew him, too. My sister knew a lot of these comics. Tracy. So when I would meet them, I'd say, I'm Tracy Newman's little sister.

And it was a wonderful thing. I loved things like, you know, ex-police. Yes, it's so Danny. It's so Danny. Stuff where they really took chances, and they did, especially after Update, especially in the 1230 part of the show where fewer people were watching, and they just do the weirdest stuff. There was that weird kitchen sink drama that Belushi did with Sissy Spacek.

You know the one I mean? Vaguely. It's great. But also, I love that when Ron Non nesson hosted and you guys all knew that president ford would be watching everybody went out of their way to be on their worst behavior just the content we were we were certainly not you know uh misbehaved around him but the content and don't ask me to remember what it was i think think it's in the book. Autumn Fizz. The douche was in that episode. We're dealing with burps at the end.

It's so great. And fluckers. Yes. Was that on that show? Yeah. Mangled baby ducks. Yeah. Oh, my God.

10,000 nuns and orphans. Really, really good stuff. Chevy was the first person to tell you the aristocrats joke? Gilbert will enjoy knowing this. Yes. And he acted it out. He pantomimed it. And he told the, there's, as you know, there's two versions, the scatological one and the incest one. He did the incest one.

And I mean, I cannot tell you how hard I laughed. And then years later after the show, I was in bed at my boyfriend's house. I had broken my ribs and I don't know how Chevy tracked me down. But, you know, the opening line to the joke is guy goes to a booking agent. So the phone rings. No, hello, this is Chevy. Nothing. It's just guy goes to a booking agent. Now, you know, my ribs are broken. I don't know if you've ever broken your ribs, but even breathing is painful, let alone laughing. And I thought that was so sweet. It was such a loving thing for him to do. And I'm not being facetious.

I'm looking at some of these sketches, too. And Gilbert and I just recently talked about the Claudine Lange ski invitational yes on the podcast oh donnie you it must must have been i don't know but i know that that was the first time there was any kind of threat of a lawsuit interesting yeah because she was acquitted i as as mem as memory serves yeah it was like a running thing whenever you saw someone go in, a skier go into the air. It was a white belt. And then you'd hear a gunshot. Famous white belt. It was just great.

You'd hear a gunshot, and they'd go, oh, Claudine Longere accidentally shot another one. Yeah. I was 14 and 15 when I discovered, when the show was really kind of peaking. And obviously, I had never seen comedy like that on television. Nobody had seen comedy like that on television. Nobody was doing sketches about police brutality or someone murdering their skier boyfriend. Yeah, or drool bucket. Or the drool bucket you know or the drool bucket

right i talk a lot about jim downey and an akroyd yes an akroyd um but yeah um that was in the context of i think miles cowperthwaite which was a running thing we did with michael palin brilliant this dickensian uh orphan who is you know subjected to unimaginable horrors. And the first time we did it, it was this character that Danny did, and it was at the 12 o'clock slot. And they had created this incredible prop that went around Danny's head, and there was a little cup right below his lower lip. And there was also a large bucket of this kind of gray, gloopy stuff that was, you know, when he emptied the drool cup, he would put it in the drool bucket. But this was his affliction. Danny's character's affliction and Miles was supposed to empty the drool bucket. But it was so out there and so unique.

And one of the things I do in the book is talk about my favorite ensemble sketches and the things that went on behind the scenes with those yeah you tell great stories about that the sketch when peter cook and dudley moore were hosting which i i share your the life of follies i share your love for that sketch oh my god you remember gilbert it's a prison audition for the musical gg garrett morris steals the show but you're all funny in it. You are wonderful, too, in that exorcist sketch with Richard Pryor. Oh, thank you. And that great black actor, Thelma Rosalala. Thelma Rosalala, yes.

Rosalala, yeah, who passed away very, very young. The bed is on my foot! Oh, Father Chorus, I'm ever so hungry. Couldn't you give me some pea soup? It's right over there. The bag is on my book!

Jeepers, I'm sorry. Oh, thank you, little girl. You're such a nice little girl. I know it all the time. Oh, thank you. Here's your pea soup. Maybe now we can be friends, huh? That's right.

What do you say? Sacky! Oh, Father Kors, I'm ever so sorry. Let's make up. Here, have a flower. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, Father Kors, I'm ever so sorry. Let's make up. Here, have a flower. Oh, what a sweet gesture. You're a sweet little girl. Jive turkey! And I loved you always as E. Buzz Miller's sidekick. Chrissy Christina.

As Chrissy Christina. As Chrissy Christina. I hate to say this, but I never thought, I never knew what was funny about that character at all. Buzz Miller? His character I love. That was a real guy. That was a real guy that was in Tahiti. And I had gone there to the island of Rangiroa which is a beautiful, beautiful island and I think

around the same time but not at the same time Tom Davis and Danny went there too. So they saw this guy. He's a real guy. It's not his name. He sold postcards of topless Tahitian women.

I loved Buzz Miller. I loved Irwin Mainway. Those sketches he did with Jane. Irwin Mainway, fantastic. Fantastic. And I learned so much about a show I thought I knew so much about that another edgy sketch, Danny practically bleeding to death as Julia Child. Oh, God.

Yeah. Was offered to Walter Matthau. Yes. And he did not want to do anything in drag. But Al got the idea because he and I were watching Julia Child on TV and she had Jacques Pepin on with her. And, you know, they were doing a close up of a saucepan and they were pushing a chicken filet around in the saucepan with their hands and julia child had cut herself so she had this huge bandage on her and her hands were so much bigger than his too there was just something so funny about the image of these two strange hands and the idea that she had cut herself and i think that's where al got the idea. In fact, I know it is where he got the idea for that.

Such good stuff. I really have to go back. You also talk about possibly my favorite sketch ever. And I know I'm saying a lot of them. These are a lot of my favorite sketches. I keep picking a new favorite sketch. Is Lord and Lady Douchebag from season five. Yes, that was our last show.

Yes, with Buck. Yeah, that was all the show. Yes, with Buck. Yeah, that was all the stuff that we had wanted to do and never could. And, you know, the book is also a story. It's your personal story, but it's also a story of you kind of hitting the wall, you know, after SNL. I mean, you were exhausted. You were a little bit of a fish out of water in New York. You went back to L.A. And then the rest of the book, and by the way, as I said before, a lot of great stories after the SNL years. With you dating everybody from Peter Cook to Phil Hartman to the great Warren Zevon you and I talked about on the phone.

Yeah, and Mark Mothersbaugh, who was an incredibly funny guy. And Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo. Yeah, you would never think that Warren is funny, but he was funny. You know, Mark Mothersbaugh is incredibly funny. Obviously, Peter and Phil, but yeah. But also talk a little bit about, and I know it's hard to sum it up in little bite-sized chunks, but you were also dealing with a lot of depression and self-doubt as a performer. Yeah.

Well, you know, I always felt that I had a really clear idea of what my limitations were. And that's not, you know, it wasn't a good thing to look at. And I, it's like people kept saying things to me like, you can do it. And I knew I couldn't, you know, and couldn't understand what was the schism. Why did people think I could do this kind of acting when I knew that I couldn't? And so I kept expecting myself to be able to do, and that was really rough because I was constantly faced with my limitations. So that coupled with, you know, lifelong experience of depression. I mean, when I was four years old, I, well, my twin brother and I didn't really get to see much of our mother until we were four years old because my mom was pregnant with another baby who died after it was born.

And so she was depressed and then she got sick from the hospital and then she had to have a hysterectomy. So understandably, this poor woman was depressed and we really didn't get to see much of her. But I remember telling my dad all the time that I was homesick because that's the only thing I knew about what that feeling was inside me. And he would laugh and say, but you're home. But that was the loneliness that I was feeling. And I just didn't know the name for it. So it's been a journey. I mean, my God, I'm so grateful for the life that I have today. Well, we talk on the show, and Gilbert, you've mentioned this yourself, you know, how there's that belief when you start out that show business is going to, once you're in show business, you don't get sick. No one around you dies. You don't die. And everything's happy. Well, I don't think I ever thought that, especially growing up where I did. You know, if anything, I was prepared for the possibility and

actual eventuality of having been on a series and then not working and how tough that that can be. Because I'd see those people when I was growing up, I'd see them walking around Westwood Village in Beverly Hills. So, and I also never really planned on being an actor. I just knew that I liked the work. So I would write and perform stuff and, you know, to no end, really, just for the love of it.

So I really had a lot of dumb luck. Believe me, a lot of dumb luck. And then, you know, now I found this thing that I really love to do, which is animation voiceover. And I really feel like I've hit my stride and I don't, I have more confidence now. I have a lot of confidence when it comes to that form of work. As long as no one's looking at me. You've always been able to do wonderful voices and wonderful characters. Thank you. So is that what you like about it? That you can do it on your own terms? That you're not on a set?

You're not dealing with, with, with gawkers, you're not— Well, also, you know— You're in a controlled environment. The real craft of acting is very intimate and demanding. And there has to be a willingness on your part to expose yourself. And I was never that way. And I think that's why I was attracted to very superficial broad characters and the lightness of sketch work because i didn't want to be known and i still am kind of like that

so that's why this form is is so perfect for me but you know you never really understand that when you're young and you think well well, I guess this is called acting. But then I realized I wasn't willing to do the things that most fundamentally most actors are required to do, which is be exposed. Also, you were thrown into the lion's den at such an early age. It's not like you had time to work your way up. I didn't know what I was. And develop the craft. Yeah, I did not know what i was that's the thing and it's taken me a long time to figure out what it is that i do i love every form of work

that i've ever done that's the thing i love the work it's just that i didn't really feel that i had a competitive edge i didn't i saw so many other people that I felt were so much more talented than I was. And that was, again, very distracting. I remember like Truman Capote once said, he said like, all actors are dumb. And he said, he revised it to all good actors are dumb. And he said, like, if someone's a great actor, they're not that smart in person. If they were, they wouldn't be able to open themselves up like that. Well, I think that that can be true. But certainly I wouldn't ascribe that to someone like Meryl Streep.

I mean, she's highly intelligent. And there are a lot of actors that are incredibly intelligent. certainly I wouldn't ascribe that to someone like Meryl Streep. I mean, she's highly intelligent, and there are a lot of actors that are incredibly intelligent. But I also think that there is a certain abandon and openness and truthfulness in actors that aren't that intelligent. So it can be an asset. That's interesting. Can you go back and watch? I know you're not happy with your work in, let's say, the movie Perfect and certain other things that you've done, but as you say in the memoir, can you go back and watch some of the SNL sketches? And I guess you did for the book. Yeah, there are some that I think I did. And enjoy yourself?

Yeah, there are some I think I was okay. Lena Vertmuller? Yeah, I loved doing Lena Vertmuller. Yeah, thank you, Rosie Schuster. Yes, I loved doing that character. And it was the kind of thing where it pleased me. I don't know how many other people it pleased, but I was happy because I liked it. Didn't you run into Smokey Robinson one day? Yes. There was the cast party for American Hot Wax at some country club in in Bel Air and it was a huge party you know

uh all these movie stars were there and um yeah Smokey Robinson came up to me and said I love your Lena Wurtmuller I thought how random is that I love that bless him we will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing Colossal Podcast after this. If they hear you, they want you. Run. A Quiet Place, day one, June 28th. Get tickets now. At Enterprise, we know you're constantly on the move.

Getting this. Thanks, Mom. Fixing that. You reach a destination. And then it's on to the next. And when life is moving at the speed of, well, life, Enterprise is right there with you. Around the corner and around the globe.

We'll keep you moving forward. Enterprise. For lives and drive. Two difficult SNL episodes because of the hosts, Louise Lasser and Frank Zappa. Which one do you want to tackle quickly? Well, hello. It's Louise Lasser on the line. Yeah, here's the one thing that it's hard to understand if you're not on the show. It's hard to know what went on on the show when you were working on it.

Because you were in a sketch, you don't see what other stuff is happening. Now, I know that she locked herself in her dressing room and wouldn't come out. And we had never faced anything like that before. I don't know what it took to get her out, but I knew that she also was heavily into cocaine. But, you know, I was too. So I didn't know judgment there, although I never performed high. I don't know if she was high or not. And then they said that for a while, I wish they had done it, that Chevy Chase was going to put on a Mary Hartman wig and do all of her sketches.

I remember that. Yeah, I remember that being said. Yeah. And Frank Zappa, you know that thing you say often, Gilbert, and I, whereas, you know, there's people that are kind of renowned assholes, but they were always nice to you. Yes. You know?

He likes to say that. But it's true. I mean, Frank Zappa was always nice to me. So, and I, you know, I saw later the sketches he did, and I realized that he was like winking at the camera, which was shitty. You know, it wasn't great. I was kind of disappointed to see that he did that. But he was a real fan of the show. And I don't think that he thought what he was doing was wrong. You know, I just think that he was misguided.

But I also was not aware he was doing that because I was in the sketch. Or I was changing for another sketch. You said that to me on the phone that, you know, you look back and it's when you're in it, it's very hard to be aware of what's happening right and if you're not aware of what's happening in the moment then it's hard to retain it as a memory exactly yeah yeah and again you were 23 you were you were like not even a decade removed from the 15 year old you know seeing your first improv show oh yeah yeah i know everybody was young but, but you were especially young. Danny's actually a month younger than I am. Wow.

Danny's a genius, so... Wow. I don't even... I stand in his shadow. Here's another question. You can keep this one short. Andrew LaPosha, what is Lorraine's memories

from Chevy's ill-fated Fryer's roast? Oh, dear God. We can edit it out if you don't want to go there. Yeah, that was just so abysmal. It was his second roast. He had done another one. And so we're in the press line, and he has his arm around me. And someone asks him, hey, what's different about this one?

You've been roasted before. And Chevy said, there are no stars here. You know, not that I considered myself a star, but it's still kind of, you know, a little thoughtless. Not that I considered myself a star, but it's still kind of, you know, a little thoughtless. And, you know, I really thought that he knew that, you know, you roast the ones you love. Of course. But I didn't realize that what the Friars roast had become, you know, and people like Kevin Meaney getting up and doing stuff that he didn't know Chevy. It had nothing to do with Chevy.

And that's what I think went wrong with it. You know, and I don't blame him for being a little bit upset, but there were certainly people who did stuff that was really funny and was done out of love. But he was really pissed. really pissed. And at the end, he just lambasted everybody and said, I only agreed to do this because they were donating money to my wife's charity.

So we all felt good about that. I was at that roast. Oh, that's right. You were. And I remember it's like, I actually was fascinated when Chevy got up at the end because it's like you were waiting for him to do something funny. And he said something like, a lot of what was said tonight, I've thought of myself.

Oh, he did. That's right. Yeah. Well, how can could it be any more brutal than that. Oh, he did. That's right. Well, how can, could it be any more brutal than that? Oh, yeah. Well, that whole show, aside from you and Paul Schaefer and Beverly, they didn't really know him. The people, Greg Giraldo and the comics that were assembled by Comedy Central didn't know the man. Yeah. So how do you do an affectionate roast if there's no personal history?

And Paul Schaefer started the show with a musical number called We Couldn't Get Anybody Good. Yeah, it's funny. Really funny. Really, really funny. Here's one more question for you, Lorraine, and this is more a statement than a question. From Eric Conner,

I have to share a Lorraine Newman story. A few weeks before my mom passed away, unexpectedly, I sent her a cameo message from Lorraine. My mom was a humongous SNL fan, and she let me watch it when I was way too young. Lorraine's message to my mom was so sweet and so kind. And I'm so glad she got to hear it before passing away. We played it at her memorial service.

I'm sorry. It's not a funny story. But it's one I know she wouldn't promote on her own. And shows how cool she is beyond her career. Oh, God. I didn't know his mother passed away. I remember that one. Well, I like doing cameos.

It's wonderful. I mean, I can only imagine what I would have done if they had it when I was a kid. Wow. You know? David McCallum would have been, you would have been saving your lunch money to get a cameo. He would have made a bundle on me. David McCallum.

Yeah. I find my career now is doing cameos. I can, Gilbert, I imagine you're in big demand. He's one of the, you're one of the top ten people on Cameo, aren't you, Gil? Yeah. Something like that? Who thought that would happen? Lorraine, before we let you out of here, you've got to talk a little bit about The Black Cat or just one monster movie.

I think I'm, like, top three. He's in the top three. That's fantastic, Gilbert. All right, Gilbert, you've got something to shoot for. I think the guy from The Office is number one, isn't he? The guy that Brian Baumgartner? Ricky Gervais? No, the guy that plays Kevin from The Office is number one, isn't he? The guy that Brian Baumgartner? Ricky Gervais?

No, the guy that plays Kevin on The Office. I heard he was in the... Oh, wow. I heard. By the way, you were talking about John Ingle, your professor. Yes. Turned up in an Office episode. He was? He was Dunder, one of the co-founders of Dunder Mifflin.

Oh, my God. That's fantastic. Of the paper company. I looked him up. Boyflin. Oh my God, that's fantastic. Of the paper company. I looked him up and boy, he did a ton of work. I know, I love that. I love the fact that he, you know, that horrible thing that people say that those who can do and those who can't teach

because John Engle went on to become a pretty successful actor after teaching drama at Beverly Hills High School. I don't know how many years. He's in everything. Yeah. He's in everything. So many great people came out of that.

Well, you know, you have affection for these character actors as we do. Yes. You know, that guy. You know, those faces. The black cat, most of my relatives talked the way Bely Logosi talked, because they're Hungarian. And I showed that movie recently to my daughter and her boyfriend. And the scene where he, at the end, where he's got Boris Karloff, you know,

manacled and hanging, and he says, Do you know what I'm going to do to you now? I'm going to skin you alive. And you see it in silhouette. You know, and it's kind of like he's shaving his skin, just peeling it away and hearing him scream. It's just, but the art direction in The Black Cat is just magnificent. Oh, it's great.

It's one of those movies that most of it makes no sense at all, but it hypnotizes you. Yeah, and then the comic relief of the two cops that come there. And one is clearly Hungarian, but the other guy is Italian. He has this really heavy Italian accent. And it's like, I don't know why these people are saying that these things are going on here. I don't know. He's just stupid, you know.

And, gee, that's out of place. Stupid, you know? And, gee, that's out of place. And when he's skinning Karloff alive, he says, you know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to fare the skin from your body. He meant flare. And so you figure it was probably up between, like, tear. Yeah. And, like. tear and, like...

That's right, I forgot. Do we think Edgar Ulmer was in some way making a black comedy? When Lugosi throws the pair of scissors at the off-screen cat, and you hear this, yeah! Well, he surely paid dearly for that movie. He was blackballed, wasn't he? Edgar Ulmer? Yeah. He slept withballed, wasn't he? Edgar Ulmer. Yeah.

He slept with, I'm trying to get the story right, he had a sexual fling with somebody who was either the girlfriend of someone in the Universal brass or someone's wife. Okay. And he got in a lot of trouble. But I heard that there was... Or at least Universal put him in director's jail. lot of trouble uh or at least universal put him in director's jail oh but i heard there was so much controversy over the movie itself because if you remember he steals the guy's wife away from him but they they also i thought no oh the daughter frozen she's preserved yeah they're frozen but i thought that that was his daughter that he was sleeping with,

but I guess it wasn't. Never mind. Look up Ulmer. Ignore me. And there's some kind of weird sex scandal that got him in hot water. And because you're a monster kid, did you hear our shows

where we had Janet Angallo? Who passed last year, yeah. The little girl from ghost of frankenstein and donnie donnegan i'll send them to you who was the improbable son of uh basil wright's bone even though he had curly blonde hair and a southern accent yes yeah he was great. He was on, I did a podcast called Go Fact Yourself. And, you know, the topic was universal horror movies. And I was competing with the guy who had won Jeopardy. Wow. And we had to do like extra questions because we were tied.

And then the final question that I didn't get was what was the name of the actor that played Frank, you know, son of Frankenstein? Of course, no idea. Donnie Donegan. Still with us. I know. Very, very alive. All you have to say to Donnie is hello. And he does the rest of the interview.

It's true. We weren't sure what we'd get out of him. And we wound up making two episodes out of him. Oh, yeah. I mean, talking about meeting Walt Disney, and he's really an interesting fellow. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's the voice of Bambi. And he was in World War II.

Yeah, he's decorated. That's right. Speaking of horror films, Gil, a director that you like, Tobey Hooper, became a good friend of Lorraine's. Yes. The late, great Tobey Hooper. Yeah, there's a Tobey story in there, too. Yeah, became a good friend of Lorraine's. Yes. The late, great Toby Hooper. Yeah, there's a Toby story in there, too. Yeah, there's a Toby story. And also Phil Alden Robinson, the

great director of Field of Dreams. Yeah. Really close friend. Funny, funny guy. Well, we're going to ask you to help us with that one. Okay. And, you know, sometime, Lorraine, just come on. The book is great, by the way. But sometime come on and just talk about monster movies with us.

Just call anytime. I'd love to. And we had the grandson of Lon Chaney Jr. Really? Yeah. You know Gilbert has a Lon Chaney Jr. obsession if you listen to the show. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. session if you listen yes i do and i talk in the book about how henry hull as the werewolf of

london was much sexier than lon cheney jr it's uh frankenstein is 90 years old this year 1931 right so do the math the movie yeah the original frankenstein gilbert night, turning 90 this year. So maybe we'll do something about that. Yeah. And we'll get... You know, we talked about this on the phone, and it is true. You know, you are kind of a zealot-like character as far as all of these pop cultural moments of the last 45 years. Well, longer, half century now.

Yeah. God, Christ. SNL is 46. I know. I don't even... What did you think of gilbert's year of snl i have to admit that i did not see it lucky you i didn't see it he may have taken your old dressing room for all you know could be You want to tell her, Gilbert, about the letter you found? Oh, my God. It was like, I remember we found out they were firing Gene Domanian. And then Dick Ebersole comes in. He says, you know, we're going to take a week off and then we're going to say how we'll be doing the show differently. And then

everyone was waiting outside Ebersole's office being taken in one by one. And some would be happy, others would be crying. Oh my God. And I didn't know what... There was a table where they used to put fan letters. And I didn't know what I and I there was a table where they used to put fan letters and I pick one up that was addressed to me.

And it was some girl in Idaho or whatever. And she says, dear Gilbert, I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Oh, no. So she knew I was fired before i did oh my god that's bad it's no fun all right you're gonna be with our pal alan's white bell virtually on the 92nd street y march 11th says jeff abraham we do everything jeff abraham tells us to do. Excellent. The book is May You Live in Interesting Times. It's fantastic. It's the story of comedy in the last 50 years, the story of Los Angeles in the last 50 years, your personal journey.

Great SNL backstage stories. It's the story of depression and addiction and rediscovery, as you call it. It's lots of laughs, everybody. Lots of laughs. And I cannot recommend it enough. And we want to thank Jeff Abraham, too. Yes, thank you. And just for you, Lorraine, because you're a monster kid,

maybe Gilbert will be nice enough to take you out or sign off and say goodbye to you as Maria Ouspenskaya from The Wolfman. We could do it together. Okay. Oh. Well, Aristotle, you'll have to sync this up. Okay, here we go. Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers at night may a wolf. When the wolfbane blooms. And the autumn moon is bright. And you know something? They changed the poem for later Wolfman movies.

Oh, they did? Because it was always the full moon was out every night. Oh. They couldn't do a movie where, oh, there's no full moon tonight. Yeah, that makes no sense. Yeah. That wouldn't make any sense, like someone turning into a werewolf. To like when the moon is full and bright.

Oh. Oh, my God. And I always thought with those Wolfman pictures, you know, when he said, I become a werewolf when the moons fall, and I think, so, okay, so what's that, five times a year?

Yeah. That's right. Big deal. Buck up, mister. What does Luke Costello say? You and 40 million other guys. Ah, yes. Yeah. Lorraine, the book is wonderful.

I know it took you years to write it and even to attempt it. Thank you. And I'm so glad you did. And it is a wonderful ride. Thanks so much. Our listeners will eat it up because those stories are just going to be catnip for them. Fantastic. Thanks for having me on, guys.

I really love the show so much. You are very kind to say that. Give our love to Zweibel. He who gets bitten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself. That's good, but she said wolf. Yeah, wolf. A werewolf himself. That's good, but she said wolf. Yeah, wolf. Wolf. A werewolf.

With a P. With a P. And the table, I wish to God, I could have been sitting at. I was speaking to Chico Marx's daughter. I was speaking to Chico Marx's daughter. And she said that, you know, she was being she went to Maria Ospensky's acting school. Oh, my. And so she and Chico Marx went out to dinner together. And I thought this boy.

Maria and Chico? Yeah. Oh, God. dinner together. And I thought, this boy to have been at that table. Yeah. Oh, God. Just, my God. An Algonquin event. Had you been born 30 years earlier, Lorraine, you could have attended Maria

Ouspenskaya's acting school. Oh, God, that would have been awesome. Gil, you want to sign off and let this lady go make dinner for her family? Oh, okay. Lorraine, thank you for doing this again. And thank you for all the kind words you've said about the show and all the promotion you've done on Twitter. And it means a lot to us.

It's my pleasure. Bless your heart. Okay, guys. And so this has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. And our guest tonight, I'm currently working on Problem Child 17. Via cameo yes and uh the great lorraine newman lorraine you're the best get the book everybody thanks you guys

when he's doing okay my heart's dead still when he says that franco's still dead i could die When he says that Franco's still dead, I could die When he talks dirty on that phone, it's like he's talking to me I go to pieces when he sneezes in his tie When he loves Gerald Port, you know I'm never bored He says no problem, but I wish that he could see There is a problem of mine because I want him so But if he takes me in his arms there would be. Chevy, Chevy, I love when you fall down each Saturday night on my TV. Oh, but Chevy, every time Falling, falling for me I know this shouldn't be said

I wish his girlfriend were dead Her tragic accidental death I seem to plot So when in heaven we meet I will be able to say Hi, I'm Mrs. Chevy Chase and you're not. Chevy, Chevy, I love when you fall down each Saturday night on my TV. Oh, but Chevy, every time you take that fall, I wish that you were falling, falling for me. Falling, falling for me Once he came to see me in my dressing room

Do tell He asked for a match and I felt my heart zoom Then what happened? The show began, he turned to go, he said goodbye Oh no! I begged him to stay, I thought I would die Look out, look out, look out, look out, look out He walked into a wall and there was nothing I could do about it.

Chevy, Chevy, I love when you fall down Each Saturday night from on my TV Oh, but Chevy, every time you take that wrong I wish that you were falling, falling for me. Saturday night will be right back after this word from the folks who chew gum for a living.