Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Malcolm McDowell Part 2

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

GGACP continues its celebration of the birthday of actor and raconteur Malcolm McDowell (b. June 13) by revisiting PART TWO of a memorable two-part episode from 2020. In this episode, Malcolm talks about the art and design of "A Clockwork Orange," the troubled history of "Caligula," the awkward truth about H.G. Wells and the lives and careers of screen legends John Gielgud, James Mason, Peter O'Toole and Robert Shaw. Also, Anthony Quinn grunts, Gene Kelly turns a cold shoulder, Albert Finney turns down "Lawrence of Arabia" and Malcolm rids the world of Captain Kirk. PLUS: J. Lee Thompson! Gore Vidal pulls out! Christopher Lee wigs out! The improvisational talents of Peter Sellers! And Malcolm remembers his mentor Lindsay Anderson! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As I promised you in the last show, there is a part two to this Malcolm McDowell interview because he was so much fun and here it is now our part two with Malcolm McDowell. And whose idea was it to have singing in the rain? You know who it was. Tell us. Tell us. You know, the truth is, and I didn't realize this, but when I went to London, I did this thing for the BFI or whatever, yeah, BFI, British Film Institute,

and we were doing a Q&A in front of whatever, and the guy said, you know, it's interesting, because you weren't just an actor for hire, you were a collaborator. And I went, yes, I was, absolutely. Because he wouldn't do anything without he checked and vice versa. So that when we had a tremendous problem with the scene, which in the book is written, the drugs come in, throw bottles through a window, and he'd had all the window made of sugar glass.

And, you know, but the whole thing about it was, and I kept saying to him, I can't do that. And he goes, well, why not? And I go, because it's just, it's realistic. We're not making a real, it's too realistic. There's got to be some, it's got to be with some style. I can't just go in and behave like now suddenly a vicious hoodlum, you know. There's gotta be a style to it. And this went on for, I mean, literally five days, the camera did not turn. He shoved all the crew out into the garden. They put a marquee tent up. They

all sat out there while we just sat around the set. And then every morning I'd arrive and I'd see Harrods furniture vans and they were changing all the furniture because he thought maybe that's where the answer lay. But on the fifth day, I was now getting very bored. As he passed me, I'm sitting on these stairs and he just said, can you dance? That's all he said. And I jumped up and I went, can I dance? And I literally ad-libbed the whole scene, smacking her, whacking, kicking, as a sort of total comedy.

I mean, it was outrageous. It was like, you know, the moment when Sellers started to see Kyle, you know. Oh, and he gets up. Yeah, Strangel completely, you know, improv. And then I began to think, yeah, I remember it was, so, you know, he went off, he pushed me in the car, we went off. He obviously, he loved it. He had his handkerchief in his mouth and he was laughing so hard, tears were running down

his cheeks. He was laughing so hard tears were running down his cheeks He was laughing so I could be so outrageous and then we had this actress who was a bit hoity-toe and you know, I'm now whacking her around and you know cutting the old titties off and the whole thing and She's going well. I hope we have more costume Got a couple. Oh my god. People forget it's a black comedy. Of course. Of course. I mean it's an intense film. He drove back to his house, bought the rights to Singing in the Rain. We went back and we just took a week to reshoot the whole thing. But I remember standing outside, we just had dinner outside, going to my car with Stanley and he said week to reshoot the whole thing.

We just had dinner outside going to my car with Stanley and he said to me, he goes, yeah, well, you know, I said to him, what am I going to wear? And he sort of paused and he went, what have you got? I went, what? What have I got? I said, this is a futuristic movie. Wait, you think I've got, what, Flash Gordon's cape at home?

I went, the only thing I've got, the only thing I've got is my cricket gear in the car. And he said, I wanna see it. I went, oh, okay. So I put it on and he goes on what's this? I said well that's the protector for your balls you know and he said wear it on the outside. I went oh yeah. There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim. and we sat in the Kurova Milk Bar trying to make up our razzudocs what to do with the evening. The Kurova Milk Bar sold Milk Plus, Milk Plus Velocet or Sintamesque or Drencrum, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for the bit of the old ultraviolence.

And there it's the cricket whites with the protector, the cod piece, and then the other little bits. And then I brought him a yard of eyelash from Bieber as a gift. And he said, put it on, wear it. I went me? He goes yeah let me see it and he took pictures of one eye, two eyes and then he called me the next day and he goes you're just gonna wear it on one eye. You look at your face and you think what's wrong and you can't see it immediately. It's very disconcerting.

You loved it. It's funny that singing in the rain is the, in a way it's an inspired choice, but in a way it's the obvious choice. You saw Alex as a lover of life. Yeah, exactly. And the song made sense. Of course, you know the story,

you know a year later, and everybody's talking about singing in the rain, and you know, I come out to Hollywood, and I had a Warner Brothers minder who said, Malcolm, there's a great party in the flats of Beverly Hills tonight. You know, people like Rosemary Clooney and all these great stars are gonna be there. Where do you wanna go? And I went, yeah, that's why I'm here. I'm dying to meet him.

Oh my God, yes, please. Shall we go along? And he goes, oh, he went, I said, he went to get me a glass of wine. I said, I mean, he came back and he said, you won't believe it, but Gene Kelly's here. Do you wanna say? I went, you won't believe it, but Gene Kelly's here. Do you want to say? I went, oh my God, yes, please.

So we walked up to Gene Kelly and he had his back to us and the minder tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, instantly saw me and he looked me up and down. And he said, oh, Gene, this is Malcolm McDowell. And he just looked at me and he turned and walked off. And of course, the minder was embarrassed and started to apologize. I said, Hey, don't apologize.

You know, I took this man's great moment, one of them, he's got many, unlike me, I've only got the one. I said, but he, I said, I took that moment and turned it on its head. Of course he's not thrilled. Of course. I understand. He's pissed. He hates my guts.

Okay. So I let it drop 40 years later, telling that story at the Academy. They had a screening, I think, for the 40th anniversary. And this lady comes up, lovely lady, comes up and goes, Malcolm, I'm Gene's widow. And I want to tell you something. He wasn't pissed with you. He was pissed at Kubrick.

And I said, well, I can understand that because it's easy to be pissed at him but why and she said because he never paid him that wild I know what a twist you are good friends with Peter O'Toole. Well, I wasn't good friends, but we were, you know, we worked together and I adored him. I wouldn't claim that I was a great friend, but every time we saw each other, we'd give a hug and a chat, you know, as old actors do. Of course, he was older than me, but I always loved him. You know, I remember the first time I saw him was I was an extra or a small part, very small part player. I think I had 12 lines in a Shakespeare play at the Aldwych at the Royal Shakespeare Company and somebody said to me, oh, and Malcolm, why don't you come with, there's a bring a bottle party up in Hampstead and we're all going up.

I went, yeah, I'll go, I'll grab a bottle and come on up. So we're up in somebody's, I don't know whose house it was, but enjoying young actors full of joys of and suddenly there was a quiet and I looked and there standing, who'd just come in, was this Greek god who had this flaxen blonde hair, was as thin as a rail, had these long boots to the knees with his jeans tucked in them. He was smoking a cigarette with, you know, a cigarette holder. And there he was, the great Peter O'Toole, Lawrence Arabia himself. So that was the first time I saw him. Of course, you know, I always loved his work. And, you know, I worked with Robert Shaw,

who was a great friend of Peter's. And so I worked with Robert on my second movie. And Robert was very bitter about Peter's success in a weird way. Because, you know know and we go back to Lawrence of Arabia that Albert Finney was cast as Lawrence yes and so they went to the lawyers office with Sam Spiegel who produced the movie for David Lean directed it of course and Albert they're looking through the things and Albert goes, I see here that this is not for one picture, this is a three picture deal, Mr. Spiegel. What's the other two? And Sam Spiegel goes, well, I don't know yet, Albert, but you will be under contract to

me for two more pictures. And Albert goes, if I don't know what they are, I'm not signing my life away. Sorry. And they got up with his lawyer and he walked out. Now, I don't know whether that's true. It's a good story. Good story. Stick to it. It's a good story.

Now here comes the, here's the thing. Now they're looking around they and they hear This I know is true because I know the people involved They hear that this young actor called Robert Shaw is in a play called the long the short and the tall and It's in tryouts in Bristol at the Bristol Old Vic So they jump into a car and they go drive to Bristol to watch the play.

And they're watching the play and afterwards, and of course, Robert's been called by his agent and said, look out because you're going to get these producers, heavy hitters. They're looking for someone to play Lawrence, one of the great, great parts. And so Robert is like, whoa. Now, so after the play, there's Robert in his dressing room. And all these people walk straight past his room to the next room, which is the actor called Peter O'Toole who was also in the play and it was directed by my friend Lindsay Anderson who

directed my first movie IF and Oh Lucky Man and and Lindsay told me that poor Robert they had decided after seeing the play, the one they wanted was Peter O'Toole. And that was completely out of left field. So Robert was always, and you know, Robert was a damn good actor, you know, of course. And he was a wonderful writer as well. But he was an alcoholic, you know, and I think he died early.

I love the man in the glass booth, which he wrote. Which he wrote, exactly. Yes, yes, yes. The Eichmann story, basically, yeah. People don't know he had all those other talents. Yeah, he did, yeah. What about James Mason? I mean, the people we read in the intro

that you've worked with, I mean, Christopher Lee, James Mason, of course, your friend John Gilgud. Oh my God, Christopher Lee. Gilbert does a pretty fair James Mason impression, Malcolm. Dude, don't do it, do it. Congratulations, my dear. I seem to have met just in time.

I had to speed your... Oh my God. That's very good. Well done. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. What do you give him on that one, Malcolm?

I give him at least a six. He does the whole thing from a star's point. Where I'm from, that's pretty high. I love that man. He was terrific. Yeah. I did a movie with him called The Passage. Oh, sure. You were a terrible character.

And he and I fondly, we referred to it as The Back Passage. Um, I'll let that just settle for a minute. I heard a story that James Mason told Kay Lenz that no movie with snow in it will ever be a hit. Well, Dr. Schiavago didn't do too bad. That's true. You were a hateful character in that film. Oh, I mean, James said, Malcolm, and I can't do as good as him, so I'm not even going to

try. James said, Malcolm, and I can't do as good as him, so I'm not even gonna try, but he said to me, Malcolm, I think you better calm down. I know you're playing a Nazi, but you're really ripping a lot of, eating a lot of scenery. I said, you know, James, I know I am. They've paid me quite a lot of money for me, and I'm gonna give them everything I've

got. I'm going to play the whole 10 years of the Nazi regime in one character." And he went, well, rather you than me. And of course, they had quite boring parts, you know, and Anthony Quinn, I mean, it's unbelievable. It's so funny. He's hiding behind any damn rock he can find in the Pyrenees because he doesn't really want to be there.

And you know, James wishes he was somewhere else. The dear Patricia O'Neill was in it. Oh, yes. Who was married to Roald Dahl. That's right. Children's writer, very famous, weird guy. Ooh, that was a weird intro. Yeah, okay.

Let's move on from that one. But so it was an amazing cast. Yes, it's a great cast. And Quinn came off as a big, you know, like big heavy, you'd say, morning, Anthony. Oh, lovely day today, got a nice bit of snow we got last night, very nice, six inches or something. And you say, well, lovely talking to you.

I'm going for a coffee now. And that was it. Yeah. He's a real grunter, you know. What about Christopher Lee, who you were starting to speak about? Oh my God. Board for the world, that one. Never get stuck in a car going to a location

with Christopher Lee. Ha ha ha non-stop rabbit about himself. I go, yeah, I know Chris, yeah, then you played, yeah, then what was it? Yeah, I know that. Yeah, you were in that. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, my God. So, you know, I have to torture him, right? I have to torture him. Well, first off, you know, he didn't start very well because he

came late and we heard from the costume department he was playing a gypsy and he wanted his costume made in Hollywood. I said, well, it's rags, you know, he's playing a gypsy. No, it had to be made for him. So, you know, we had heard these stories, it was like, oh my God, he's a bit like that. So we come to the scene and we're rehearsing, and I'm in the full Nazi colonel's gear. He's tied to a chair in the middle of a square

in a little town in the Pyrenees, and I'm torturing him, you know. And so I had to whack him, so I knocked his hat off, and he goes, oh, oh, Malcolm, Malcolm Malcolm, Malcolm, oh stop, stop, sorry, no, no, no, no, can I have a word with you in private? I went yes and he was tied to the chair so I leant in and he said look, oh my good God, you may not know this but I'm actually wearing a piece.

Now the piece was so obvious, it was like he had a, he had a red light on his forehead and it was flashing. And I went, oh, you're wearing a piece, good God, would never have seen it. Good God, that's beautifully made. I went, what can I do? I'm supposed to hit you. He said, could you just be careful with the hat in case it flips off? I'm a Nazi girl for Christ's sake. I'm torturing you. I can't go pussy-fitting, just take your hat off. I've got to wallop you. I can't,

I've got to do it, Chris. So of course he was nervous as Nellie, you know, and anyway, of course I had to do it all the way back to the hotel. I heard the thing about I said, look, Chris, let me give you just, if I may, as a young actor, just a small word of advice. Get rid of the piece and start playing characters. He went, good God, there's no way I'd ever work again if I took this piece off. I went, my God, okay.

Wow. And he never did. Yes. He never did. And of course he. No, I was going to say, I heard, you know, when he was doing all his monster movies, when he was Frankenstein or the mummy, heavy makeup,

he would keep the toupee on. And they'd have to put all the stuff on top of it. Oh yeah. You know, he's like that actor who hadn't worked for ages and the agent sends him a script and he reads the script and he goes, it's a leading part of television series he goes yeah but um you know he wears a good rug and stuff he goes yes but this character at the end takes his wig off because he's in

disguise he goes yes perfect for you he goes I'm not wearing a wig. I couldn't possibly play that scene. So he did it. And they put a wig on top of the wig. So he could take that wig off. And here's another one. Frankie Howard. You know, Frankie Howard is one of the great comedians in England went into me. He was in all the carry on film. Okay, went in and said, he had complete peace. He went in, sat down in the makeup chair and he said, Oh, I think Oh, I think a little short back and sides would be nice. And the guy goes, What? Frankie, hey, it's me. You know know I know what it is he goes what short back and sides he made him trim the piece and trying to pretend that it

was it was his own hair we will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. Malcolm, on the subject of that movie, a gentleman who lives in the UK who listens to this show, Jonathan Sloman says, I believe Malcolm has a story about Nazi underwear in the passage. Does that mean anything to you? Oh, yeah. Oh, well, all right. There's so many stories on that film, but I was first up, you know, I had, I was only, I played a supporting part, like kind of we all did, you know, the whole idea was, you know, was Quinn is a Basque guide taking this family,

James Mason, George O'Neill, and kids, Kay Lentz and another one, can't remember him, the kid, the son, and he's taking them to freedom outside Germany to Spain where they can get away on a British boat and get them to England. Because he is a thermonuclear scientist working on the fusion on the A-bomb. And so, of course the Allies did not want the Germans

to get the A-bomb before them. So that's the premise. And so I was first up for some reason, and it was a rape scene with Kay Lentz. I said, the nasty Nazi rapes the daughter, you know, to make everybody really love him. So that's the way we start the damn thing. So we start and it's a three day shoot. It turns into six

days because Kay Lentz, who's married to David Cassidy, a big pop star at the time, is always running off to the phone to talk about the scene and she's going, well, I can't, I can't do, I can't do naked. I can't, and he's going, why should you? Why should you? You can't do it. And I'm going, it's a shower. Jesus, you wear your bikini in a shower? What's going on?

You're wearing your underwear in a shower? I mean, come on. So three days turns into six days. And so finally they're in there. I don't know what the buggering about with her, the makeup are in there for hours and hours. She finally walks into the scene and literally I just go forward because there were there were tape strips of tape over her breasts, great big like hot cross buns, and a great big slathering piece of tape,

you know, down below over the privates. I mean, she looked like, I mean, so I mean, how was I supposed to, I went, sorry darling, I can't rape this at all. I just cannot. Sorry, no, no, no. And so more argy bargy. So I just went to the to the wardrobe.

Oh, he's such a sweet guy. I said, you know what, do me a favor just for fun. Because everybody was had had it with this I said um when I'd whipped my pants down on the jockstrap could you put some swastikas for me if you could make them glitter it would be great so of course the end of this the very last scene and we've got this great cameraman the operator, you know, he's holding the bloody camera They're not like they are today This is a hundred pound camera that he's got on his shoulder and he's and so literally I whip the pants down

Stand like that up with the shirt and you see these this jockstrap with these Llamé shining and and all the rest of it with the swastikas and I do a little twerking and he literally, the cameraman was laughing so much he had to offload the camera on the bed where it bounced. I mean we just, and the director, God bless him, he was such a great guy, such a lovely old school Hollywood director, Lee J. Thompson, who had done the Guns of Navarone. Oh, sure, sure.

Legend. And he said, he said, Malcolm, that's how I want you to play the part. I think it's brilliant. And you know what? Hitler's chauffeur had swastikas on his underwear. And I went, I didn't know that. But I'm all for it. Let's go with it.

And so that's the kind of the way I played it. Wonderful. Yeah. And there's a very popular rumor that during the making of Caligula, I knew we'd get That you were actually having sex? With my wife? Where did you read that, Gilbert? Yeah. Gilbert, you're now blowing smoke through your ass.

There's no quotes that say that. I never had sex other than privately at home. Not even with the horse. No, but that got close. No, of course not. You know, there's no way on a set anyway you could have sex. The one I heard the way they had sex was Julie Christie and Donald Southerns. And they didn't have sex. That's all bull.

Yes. Yeah, that's all bull. Yeah. No. But there are so many great stories about Caligula that in this pandemic, I have been literally thinking I'm going to do a one-man show about the making of Caligula. You have to. And, and the absolute bullshit that went down with Gour Vidal and Bob Guccione. I heard you say you're going to come out on stage wearing a toga over your blue jeans.

Well, did you hear that? I was thinking of it. But I may not do that because what we're going to do is we're actually going to make a documentary about it. And I'll use like in like in Never Apologize, I'll use a stage performance to join all the bits together. But the stories are I mean, it's, you know, Sodom and Gomorrah, I mean, it's, you know, Sodom and Gomorrah, it's the mid, late 70s, it's, I mean, it's Rome, it's, you know, Gore Vidal having, you know,

Queenie Fitts all over the place, drunken calls four in the morning, and, you know, I said, Gore, God's sake, it's four o'clock, I've got a six o'clock call. Um, look, what's the problem now? And I said, you know, the best thing is not to come on set if it upsets you, you know. Um, and he's like, you know, you've really disappointed me, Malcolm, really. I mean, you really have, you're not doing my stuff. I go, look, we've you're not doing my stuff.

I go, look, we've got to make it work. It doesn't work the way you've written it. And this, oh, this went on Adam from Knightham, you know. But when I first met with Gore, I said to him, who's going to pay for it? Who's the, and he said, well, this man called Bob Guccioni. Isn't he a pornographer, this man called Bob Guccione, isn't he a pornographer, the penthouse guy?

And he goes, Malcolm, just think of him as one of the Warner Brothers. Not quite. Can you believe this? Oh, that's hilarious. I love that that movie started out in life as Gore Vidal's Caligula. Yeah, I know.

The title is so absurd. And I said to him, you know, Gore, you had the actual pleasure and the benefit of taking your name off this movie. Yes. I'm stuck there. It's my face. I'm stuck. I can't withdraw my services. You know, I would love to. I mean, I would

love to, but I can't. I've just got to grin and bear it. You've got to do the one man show. And I said, go, I cannot do buggery. I'm sorry. I mean, I have, I do have a career outside of this and I will not, okay, I'll fuck the bride. I am not buggering the groom. I can't do it. It just goes against the grain. And you know, this is the seventies.

People weren't ready for that, for the male, you know, to be up somebody's body on, you know, 60 foot screen. I mean, it's just no way. So I can't do it, darling. up somebody's body on, you know, 60 foot screen. I mean, there's just no way. So, I can't do it, darling. Cannot do it. Don't want to do it. And then, you know, he'd say to me,

Malcolm, you're such a prude. I said, a prude? I'm the guy that did Clockwork Orange, for Christ's sake. I mean, I'm a prude? And so this bantering went on. And then the producer went away for a long weekend. He came back all refreshed. And I said, Franco, Franco Rossellini.

I said, Franco, you look so happy. Where have you been? He goes, darling, I went to New York and I had a wonderful time. I went to this club in the had a wonderful time. I went to this club in the meat market called the Anvil and I went, oh, oh, I've heard of that. That's sort of like this gay club, right? He goes, oh, I said, what do they do in there, the Anvil? He goes, oh, they go on a stage and people fistfuck. I went, what? Yes, they fist-fucked, they put their fist.

I went, oh, you know what? I'll fist-fuck the group, I'll fist-fuck him. That's what I'll do. Thank you very much. So I tell the director, and he said, I said, we'll have to do it in a kitchen. And you know, and I can put my hand into a great big tub of lard and stick my thing up as I'm saying, I, Caligula Caesar, in the name of the Senate

and the people of Rome. And he goes, great, great. We're sitting on the set waiting to do the sequence and the girl comes in, the actress, and I said, darling, I'm so sorry. It's all, we're just going to affect it. There won't be any bare flesh or anything like that. You won't feel anything. We'll just simulate copulation. She said, you know, we'll just simulate, you know,

copulation. She said, I really, you know, she was so sweet, she goes, I don't mind whatever you want to do. And then I went, who's this person with all these people? There's 12 people, like the heavyweight champion of the world is coming into the ring, you know, and they went, oh, that's the guy that's playing the groom. And I went, well, who are all these people? And they said, well, that's his family. I mean, what does he know? Does he know that I'm going to stick my fist up his ass? I said, please get the family members off the set.

I mean, this is gonna be humiliating. And will somebody please go up and explain exactly what he's gonna do? So of course the guy was horrified, horrified. And I said, look, you know, I'll make it as gentle as I can. Of course I'd simulate and stick my fist in his ass, but it was close enough and I had a huge welt of lard on my fist and I shoved it in the first time, withdrew it

and went, oh, my ring! I've lost my ring! Oh, excuse me! And there it was, tucked away by the sphincter in a whole dob of lard on it. So I got it, took out a little rose from the garland I had, stuck it right on his ass. I remember.

Oh my gosh. Malcolm, you've got to do this one person show. I'm gonna do it. I know. Malcolm, you've got to do this one person show. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Because I've just been thinking, you know, the reason I haven't done it is because I felt such a betrayal about the film. I never ever wanted to talk about it when I finished it.

Of course. Because they inserted all this porn. Yeah. And you know, it was such a betrayal to us actors that they'd done this Although I must say John Gillgood didn't mind I saw John Gillgood on 3rd Avenue after the film had been playing and He was there doing Arthur and I I saw him. I went John John. He went ooh. Oh Markham. Oh In the film have you seen the film? I said no, well, no, I haven't seen it.

He said, oh, I've seen it three times and I paid twice. I said, what's it like? He said, frightfully good, frightfully good. I think you'll like it. So then somebody then must have gotten to him and said, look, this is outrageous porn. You better not keep going around saying to people that you like it. And the next thing I hear, yes, it's quite disgusting. It's quite disgusting.

We made it in Rome. They didn't pay me very much. The poor guy's in the tub the whole time Yeah, I know the beginning He came to my My room and I went John how lovely to see you. Thanks for doing the part, you know, you've really made this for me You know to have you in this movie is such I mean, it's such a thrill And he goes oh Malcolm. Well, you know, they're not really paying me very much and

I'm not getting very much podium. But I hear you have a villa. Is it possible you may have a room or two? I said, John, Jesus, oh my God, I've got a whole wing for you and it's yours. So he moved into this villa and I had him there for two weeks while he was shooting his part. Love it. And he'd be playing the piano after dinner, you know,

mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun. And he was doing all this stuff and the stories, oh, it was so beautiful. What a man. What a wonderful actor. I just adored him. What a wonderful actor. Yeah, my favorite. And what a way with comedy.

My favorite English actor. Yeah. Brilliant. Really. Absolutely brilliant. And he said to me, I didn't really learn, you know, how to act on film till very late. I must have been nearly 70.

And I did the charge of the light brigade with Tony. I went, oh, you were wonderful in it. He said, yes, but I was always rather self-conscious, you know. I've got rather a big nose. And my voice, it's just my voice. I went, your voice, your voice is heaven sent. He said, no, I know, but I just can't stand the way I look. But look at Larry. he's moved so beautifully.

He's such a beautiful man. And he'd go off in raptures about Olivier, you know. Wow. And you heard, you were studying tapes of H.G. Weld's voice. Well, not tape, gramophone records. Yeah. From the BBC archives, because I thought, well,

I'm going to Hollywood for the first time to do a movie and playing HG Wells and all they're all old, you know, method actors over there. But you know, at least find out what he sounds like so I can, you know, copy it somewhat. Of course, not not really realizing that who the hell would know what H.G. Wells done could be. Of course, of course. So I was so in anticipation of listening to his voice, which was a recording of a radio broadcast that he gave in 1928. And I put it on, it was cracked, you know, and it came through and it was, hello, this is H.G. Wells talking from Crystal's Palace.

I would just like to tell you how happy I am to be here at this time. I thought, a bit of Southeast London there, I don't think so, with the old high pitch. I don't think the Americans would go for that, so I think I'll just make up my own HG world. Gentlemen, I have called you together tonight to bid you farewell. Farewell? Where are you off to?

Going abroad? Another holiday in Scotland, eh? No. No, I am going travelling. But I'm not leaving London. Indeed, I do not expect to be leaving my laboratory. Riddles again. Gentlemen, I am talking about travelling through time in a machine constructed for that very purpose. Of course I was criticized in England for not sounding like H.G. Wells because there was some old bastard who was 95 and was a fucking critic because he doesn't even sound like him. That movie not only came along at the right time for you Malcolm because it rescued you from from Caligula

Yes, but it but it but it gave you two wonderful gifts, which are your two children You're exactly two oldest children. I should say Charlie and Lily Yes, that is exactly it. I actually you know, I fell in love with Mary on that movie We had a magnificent time in San Francisco. And then, of course, not too long after, two great kids, you know, and who I'm incredibly proud of, of course. And Lily has got three daughters of her own now, so I've got three grandchildren.

Wow, congratulations. Three granddaughters. Great. Thank you. Gilbert's daughter is also named Lily. We've got three daughters of our own now, so I've got three grandchildren. Wow, congratulations. Three granddaughters, they're great. Thank you. Gilbert's daughter is also named Lily. Oh yes, I read that actually, I read that. Great, great. And Charlie produced and directed one of my favorite shows,

which is On Becoming a God in Central Florida, which is just terrific. I know, I love that show. And he directed 10 episodes. Really good. Well, he didn't direct 10, I think he directed a few, but he oversaw everything. I see.

Because he was a producer. Terrific show. He also did a lot of, he did a few of Silicon Valley, and he directed a wonderful film with Jason Segal, and Robert Redford, one of Redford's last movies, called The Discovery. It's on Netflix. I see he's working on a project with Christoph Faltz.

He's got something in the pipeline. Yes. Yeah. And he's such a great actor. So, um, yeah, it's pretty cool. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. And we can't leave out, you killed Captain Kirk. I know.

The world should get down on their knees and thank me for getting rid of this blowhard once and for all. Did you actually get threats on the internet? Yes, yes, I did. I was called up by my nephew, who's a wonderful actor called Alexander Sedig. His actual name is Sedig El Fadil, but that's his stage name. And he was in one of the later ones, the Star Trek's Deep Space Nine. He's one of the regulars in it and he called me, he said, Uncle Malcolm, are you going

to the opening in New York? I went, yeah, yeah, we're going tomorrow. And he goes, well, look, I'm on internet I mean we didn't know what that was then and he said and there are a lot of people that are very angry with you I went what for being in the movie and they go no for killing Kirk I went they do know that this is a fantasy of course that I am really Dr. Soran and that he's not really James T. Kirk. I went, Jesus, get a life. So I had to tell the producers and they assigned two LAP detectives. Unreal.

To come, retired detectives came to New York. I felt really embarrassed. They were standing outside the hotel, not a person within a mile. And I'm going, guys, just go for dinner, you know, go have you. And I'm like, no, no, we can't. The poor guys had to stay there.

But, you know, I really enjoyed doing that movie really because, mainly because I knew Patrick Stewart. I was at Stratford on Avon with him and the Royal Shakespeare Company, you know, when we were kids or he was playing Old Men even then. That was 1965. But he I always liked Patrick was a wonderful actor, you know, and it's very happy that he'd made such a success of, you know, and it's very happy that he'd made such a success

out of, you know, playing Picard and all that. But of course, the reason that they all were, you know, having deals who had done that original script with cardboard sets, you know, and cheesy costumes. But it's really interesting about Star Trek and their little moral tales. Yes. They always, and they're sort of timeless in a way. And you know, the public just absolutely loved it, even if there weren't that many of them, because they took it off after a couple of years or whatever it was.

But you know, Bill is something else. Did he say to you he was interviewing you for his book after? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. After I killed him, you know, and I kind of finished and he pulled his chair over and turned on a little recorder. He said, Malcolm, you don't mind if I interview you for my book. I went, what book? He goes, well, I'm doing a book of this.

You know, I gotta make everything out of these things that I can. I went, oh, okay. He goes, okay, well, first question. What's it really like to have killed an icon of American theater and American television? I went, oh, well, all I will tell you, Bill, is that half the people are going to hate me and the other half are going to love me. And he goes, really?

Who's going to love you? I went, the people that have had up there for 30 fucking years of you, Bill. That's who's gonna love me. Finally, we got rid of you. Anyway, clicked off, he just laughed. Gilbert just spent some time with him recently, didn't you, Gil? Oh, yeah. He's hilarious. You have to admire this guy. He's 90.

Almost. He may be. He may be 90. He's 90 almost. Almost. Yeah, yeah. He may be. He may be 90. He's got all these ions. I mean, look, talk about a great working actor. Wow. You know, slouch yourself, Malcolm, I counted on IMDb that you've got 16 projects in the pipeline for 2020 and 2021. Well, I know they've all been cancelled. That's why I'm here ruminating about

Caligula. One more question from a fan and a friend. Don Rio, who you made Perkz and Pearl with says, I don't have a question for Malcolm. Please tell him I love him and I can't wait to play golf with him again. I love that man too. You know, he wrote me the most incredible part when he wrote and produced this sitcom called Pearl. Yeah, it was very good. With Rhea Perlman for Rhea, you know, a vehicle for her. But he wrote the most amazing part of a professor of humanities

from hell and it was such a delicious delight to play this character with Rhea who's an incredible pro. I mean I always said if Rhea Pullman was in England she'd be working at the National Theatre and it's true, she would. But Don Rio, what a talent, what an extraordinary man. And he's done so many of these television hits, and he's so clever, he's a great guy, and also he's a damn good golfer.

But I just had a knee replacement, so I haven't played for a while. Okay, I hope you're feeling better. I was going to ask you how your game is. We barely talked about Oh Lucky Man, which I rewatched the other night. And boy, what an ambitious, adventurous, creative film for you to be doing as such a young man. And this documentary, or this one this one person show I should say, this show that you did. It's kind of a doc.

Yeah, yeah. But this was very sweet, your tribute to your friend Lindsay Anderson. Yeah. And also in his love of John Ford, which is absolutely fascinating. Oh. Which he passed on to me.

Yeah. And Lindsay was just the most beautiful human being, a complete curmudgeon and could smell bullshit 10 miles away, but a genius. The man was such a great artist, you know, he was just a great artist and I loved him dearly and You know, I was great friends until the day died 28 years later so I knew him as one of my best friends and We made some really wonderful

Movies together and he directed me in a couple of fantastic plays you know, so and he really knew how to get the best out of me. And I just love him for it, you know. And he introduced you to Ford and he introduced you to Kurosawa and he introduced you to Ford. Oh, yes, yes, he did. And, you know, he'd say, God Almighty, you're so ignorant. If you're going to be an actor in film,

you better learn something about it. Now, here's a quiz. Who was Gene Arthur? I'd say, ah, yes, Gene Arthur. He was a very, no, not he, she. One of the great comedians of the 30s and 40s. I went, okay, okay. So he was, I miss him an awful lot,

but I wanted to do that documentary or whatever it is, One Man Show, because I realized that people did not know who Lindsay Anderson was, and I just thought, I'm going to have to, I'm'm gonna do a show about him and about his life and of course then it became about both of us because we're intertwined as it were with our careers and all that and and you know he's he wrote some beautiful pieces so it was a labor of love and it's there now for all time I know you I know you said you're somebody who tends not to look back,

but I was watching a lucky man and the last scene, which obviously came from a conversation between the two of you, what happened to you? Well, I became a movie star, let's do that. That last scene where the balloons are falling and the entire cast is dancing, and there's you and Lindsay and Rachel Roberts. Yeah.

It must be. And Helen. And Helen, Helen Mirren. I even got choked up watching it, and I wasn't in the film. Yeah. I thought, what a wonderful time capsule to have all the cast and all of these people

together celebrating. Amazing. Yeah. I know. It's sort of bittersweet, you know, because when I watched the film, I realized that there's nobody left. You know, I think there is nobody.

Just Helen. I remember when I went back for a, I went, there was some, I don't know, something in England at the National Film Theater, and I said, please make sure that Christine Noonan is gonna be there. Now she played the girl in If. Oh sure. And she played a part in A Lucky Man and she was part of my history if you like. And I felt something for her, I'm very loyal to her

and I felt that I wanted her to be there for this occasion, and I was going to call her out. And I called them from California and they went, oh yes, we'll get her there, don't worry. So we get there and go to the theater. And as I'm about to walk on, I said, Christine's here, right? And she said, oh, Malcolm, Christine passed away. Oh, sad. Sorry to be a downer about it, but I went, what? And they sort of shoved me on the stage.

And I sort of, I was in shock, you know, because she couldn't have been that old, you know? And I really do credit her in a way for me starting my career in movies, because if she hadn't slapped me so hard, actually it was a punch in the audition, if I don't think I would have gotten the part. And it just knocked me into another realm. And I became infuriated and concentrated and animated like a caged tiger and stalked around the stage. Furious, because I'd been so humiliated.

She hit me so hard, knocked me out, knocked me stupid. age, very furious because I'd been so humiliated. She hit me so hard, knocked me out, knocked me stupid. I found myself just with tears running down my cheeks, you know, and she was a little cockney, as they say in Liverpool, hard knock. She was a great girl. She was a great girl. Listen, we've been talking for so long, I got to wrap this up. We'll wrap it up here. I got to go because somebody's waiting for me for dinner.

We're going to wrap it up, Malcolm. Thanks for spending so much time. Hey, you were great, you guys, all of you, and thanks so much for making it so much fun. And the next time I should do the whole Caligula thing because holy God, there's some great ones. Sitting there with Helen and John Gilgud watching dailies, you know, all out of focus, and we're watching and it's all out of focus. And suddenly it starts to go, and John goes, Oh, I think it's a sinkhole. And as the thing gets more and more into focus, we realize that it was right up Helen's skirt

and she had no knickers on who was actually Helen Mirren's asshole. And he goes, oh no, not a sinkhole, but it's Helen's arsehole. On that note, I will say goodbye. Thank you, Malcolm. Thank you. Thank you. I just want to thank Karen and I want to thank Chris Roe and Gino Salamone for making this possible. Oh yeah.

And thank you for spending so much time with us. And I will recommend Charlie's show on becoming a God in Central Florida and Charlie's movies too. Look them up, the Duplass. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my cohost, Frank Santopadre.

And we've been talking to a man who is worth waiting for, the great Malcolm McDowell. Okay. Thank you Malcolm. We'll talk to you again sometime. Thank you. You are great. Okay. Thanks again Malcolm. This was special. Temples and statues and steeple-walled showing If you've got the secret, just try not to blow it Stay a lucky man A lucky man If you've found meaning of the truth in this whole world You are a lucky man If knowledge hangs around your neck like pearls

Instead of chains, you are a lucky man. Takers and bakers and talkers won't tell ya, Kitchers and preachers will jump by and sell ya, When no one can tempt ya, With heaven or hell, you'd be a lucky man. Come on, take me. Take us and take us and darkness won't tell ya. Teachers and preachers will just buy and sell ya. When no one can tempt ya with heaven or hell, you'll be a lucky man. You'd be better by far to be just what you are.

You can be what you want if you are what you are. And that's a lucky man. Oh, yeah, a lucky man. And that's a lucky, a lucky, a lucky man. A lucky, a lucky, a lucky man