Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Michele Lee

Episode Date: March 1, 2021

Gilbert and Frank are joined by Tony- and Emmy-nominated actress-singer Michele Lee for a look back at her seven-decade career in television ("Knots Landing"), movies ("The Comic," "The Love Bug") and on the Broadway stage ("How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying") and a lively conversation about the bawdiness of Red Skelton, the naughtiness of Buddy Hackett, the courageousness of Don Rickles and the flirtatiousness of Frank Sinatra. Also, Michele cuts the rug with Fred Astaire, treads the boards with Robert Morse and Rudy Vallee, takes directing tips from Jerry Lewis and plays Lou Costello's wife in the infamous "Bud and Lou." PLUS: "Rod Serling's Night Gallery"! "Scandalous Me: The Jacqueline Susann Story"! In praise of Dick Van Dyke! And Michele shares the screen with Liberace, Danny Kaye and Sammy Davis Jr! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try one today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is a singer, dancer, recording artist, cabaret performer, television director, performer, television director, and an Emmy and Tony-nominated actress of both stage and screen who's been working steadily in show business since she was a teenager. You know her from popular TV shows like Rowan and Martin's Laughin',, Love American Style The Carol Burnett Show, Night Gallery The Love Boat, Will and Grace, Family Guy And the TV movie Scandalous Me

The Jacqueline Suzanne Story And Bud and Lou Hey, I think I've heard of that one And of course, Notch Landing, which she was the only cast member to appear in all 344 episodes. And she directed nine of them. of them. You've also enjoyed her outstanding work in films like How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, The Love Bug, The Comic, Along Came Polly, as well as in acclaimed stage productions of How to Succeed in Business, Seesaw, Wicked, and The Tale of the Allergist's Wife. She's also the first woman to write, direct, produce, and star in a movie made for television.

1996, Color Me Perfect. In 1999, she was awarded her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In a career that began way back as a teenager in the long-lost Dino's Lodge on Sunset Boulevard, she shared the stage and screen with Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra, John Wayne, Bob Hope, Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Jerry Lewis, Betty Davis, Buddy Hackett, and Liberace, as well as our own podcast guests, Dick Van Dyke, Cole Reiner, Don Murray, John Davidson, David Steinberg, John Astin, Ken Berry, and John Beiner. Frank and I are excited to welcome to the show a woman of many talents and a performer who has done everything a person can possibly do in the entertainment business, including appearing on six, count them, six Six episodes of celebrity bowling. The magnificent Michelle Lee. Am I dead yet?

Hi, Michelle. You can hand this one out as an obituary. I said, it sounds like I must have died if I haven't. The only thing missing was found dead in Los Angeles. You have everything that I've ever done in life, minus a few and several I wish you never said. Was it celebrity bowling where we logged you? I think Celebrity Bowling was one of them. That was a very well-respected show. And 15 Love American Styles.

Oh, jeez. We love Love American Styles. I'm only kidding. We met a few years ago. We were both doing appearances on Howie Mandel's special. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I love him. I love him so much. But, yeah, I mean, I guess I've done everything. And haven't we all? Ba-dum-bum. But. Michelle, your career is one of those careers when you go to the imdb page and you do the deep dive it's incredible as gilbert just read a partial

list of the icons you've worked with but it's a great but but you've been working since you're a teenager like gilbert has yes gilbert when did you start? Oh, wait a minute. This is about me. How old were you when you started? Seriously. First time I got up on stage at an open mic night, I was 15. Oh, my gosh. It's like me. It really is. I didn't get paid. Well, you didn't get paid either, really. But when I was a kid around 15, I worked with a band, but they're not the kind of bands we have today. It was, you know, society orchestras where I'd sing at, pardon the expression, weddings and bar mitzvahs, you know, and I would do, you make me feel so young. Only my voice was higher. You make me feel that spring is sprung.

And so that's really where I started. But I sang in high school, you know, all that stuff. I'm not talking now. Now tell us what your father said to you when you said you wanted to go into show business. Did you read something that I could lie about? No. Does it say that somewhere? Because I can make up something. Yeah. No, you said that he told you, fine, but you got to be willing to. Oh, yes, yes, yes. You got it. Okay. My father said to me, you want to be in this business. He was a makeup artist, by the way. We can talk about that later. And he said, you want to be in this business? Oh, you're going to have to get used to the hard knocks, people slamming doors in

your faces. It's difficult. They tell you you're too tall, you're too small, you're too whatever it is, you're not. So you better go to an audition and find out what it's like. So there was an ad in one of the show business magazines. It said dancers must sing, singers must act, actors must do whatever's left over. So my mother took me to, because I was, how old was I? I was like just 17. My mother took me to the Ivar Theater in Los Angeles, a little theater. And I went in there and I saw this guy with muscles on his legs and short shorts and a real tight T-shirt, muscling all over and a cowboy hat and boots.

I was in love. I didn't know from gay at that time. So he jumped the director and the choreographer, and he jumped up on the stage and he said to everybody who was there, not me yet, okay, do follow this dance. Ba-dum-bum, bum-bum, ba-dum-bum. That's my jazz interpretation. Then he would say, would you sing Happy Birthday to You or whatever it was.

So everybody was doing their thing. Then they pushed me on stage. Michelle Lee Dusick was my name then, at least my middle name. So it's Michelle Lee Dusick was my name then, Lee's my middle name. So it's Michelle Lee Dusick. And so I got up there. I had nerves of steel in those days. I mean, forget it. I would do anything. Who cares? You didn't have to pay the rent. You didn't have to do anything. Yeah, sing a girlfriend. No pressure. Just get up there and do your thing, so I got up there, and I sang, you make me feel so young, one and a half courses, and a tag in the key of F, and I was just there, my legs planted firmly, my legs can't plant firmly, My feet planted firmly on that stage.

And I sang, ready for it. You make me feel so young. You make me feel, let's bring a sprung. Okay. The guys in the audience stood up to their feet and they applauded me. I'm not kidding. First audition. Nice.

So I go home. I'm not kidding first audition nice so I go home the end of the story is my father the phone rings and they said you get you you've got it my first audition so my mother had to explain gay and my father had to eat his makeup sponge was that where David Merrick somehow got you to to Broadway from that audition at the Ivor? Yes. Yes. So what happened? It was a huge success. It was called Vintage 60. Right. And every star in America, when I say star, I mean Judy Garland star. Right. Sammy Davis Jr. when he was going with My Brit. Garland star, right?

Sammy Davis Jr. when he was going with My Brit. All those stars were in the audience in Hollywood every single night. That's how big this thing was. And so it got these rave reviews. David Merrick saw the show, and it was a huge hit at the time, took it to Broadway.

It was closed in eight nights and we know what happened. Eight nights. But I will tell you, my maiden name it was closed in eight nights and you know what happened yeah eight nights but up up but i will tell you my my maiden name was dusik d-u-s-i-c-k michelle lee dusik and at the ivar my mother was with me all the time during uh parts of the rehearsal and everything so one day they're putting up the not the scap they're putting up our name in lights or whatever they are. And they said, what is your stage name? And, you know, I was do sick.

But in those days, you basically didn't tell anyone you were Jewish. So everybody chopped off their names, right? So now they think I'm Leibowitz. But that's something else. So anyway, my mother said, why don't you just chop off your last name, Olivaie, and I left Michelle Lee. And so I couldn't change. Once I did that, I was Michelle Lee. The rest is history.

Yeah. Am I talking too much? No, no, no. But everybody. Yeah. Am I talking too much? No, no, no. Before. Tell us about before you cut off your do sick before before dad. What what dad did. Dad was a makeup artist. Gilbert and I were talking on like House on Haunted Hill. He was a makeup artist for Clint Eastwood on a series Rawhide. Yeah. And he was and Dick not Dick Van Dyke. Oh, Richard Chamberlain.

Richard Chamberlain, thank you very much. Yeah, so he was in the business, you know, and everybody loved him, and he would talk about me all the time, never shut up. But, yeah, so he's a Dusik, and that's how I saved my last name. Everybody knew Jack Dusik, my dad. Was he under contract, Michelle, at MGM? Did he roam from studio to studio? Did he work for basically one company, one studio? No, he worked for several studios, but because Clint Eastwood's show, Rawhide, ran for so long. And then I think he did Girl from Uncle and Dick. I keep wanting to say Dick Van

Dyke because I'm looking at him right now. He's on my wall. Oh, Dr. Kildare. Right. Is that what you mean? Dr. Kildare. Yeah. Richard Chamberlain. Yeah. Yeah. And so he was there at MGM, the old MGM that is now Sony or something. Yeah, he was there for years and years. And when I started Knott's Landing, it was on the same lot. And there was a guy at the gate, the guard at the gate was his name was Ken Hollywood. That was his name. And do you know, when I started Knott's Landing, Ken Hollywood was still there at the gate. So incredible. All those years later.

Yeah. And of course, yeah, go on. Did you have any dealings? Did you ever meet Clint Eastwood? Oh, yes. Several times. I met Clint several times. Did I say that before? Oh, yes. Several times I met Clint several times. Did I say that

before? Yes. Oh, okay. God, I wish I was prepared. Oh, we're not on. We're just talking. I'd show you several pictures with me. No video, unfortunately. Okay, Clint. All right. I was at the Kennedy Center

honors when he got his honor and uh but so i have several pictures of us there together and he loved my dad and so whenever i would see him and i would in hollywood you know as we do when we're very famous i would i would bump into him. Oh, excuse me, Clint. I just bumped into you. I would bump into him, and he would always call me Dusik. Always. Oh, that's cool. You know, hey, Dusik.

You know, yeah, I saw him many times. And I do have some wonderful pictures with the two of us. He was very sweet to me. Well, growing up around show business, I mean, did you go to the set with dad? Were you were you hanging out a lot? Did he did he probably precedes the bring your daughter to work days? No, I would go now and then. OK, and I would go.

I went to Rawhide a few times. That was before I really knew, knew him. Okay. But he had the co-star with him was an actor by the name of Eric Fleming. Do you guys know this or not? Am I telling you something new? He, he was so sweet that here's this real story coming. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm not that boring. My father, I was going off to New York to do a Broadway show. And my father obviously had said to Eric Fleming to talk to me birds and bees wise, although I knew about them, but a little further down the road, like if ever I got in trouble, to know to call him. And of course, by trouble, I guess people in those days was if you get in trouble. And of course, I was barely out of the womb at that time. So it was very sweet. My father

needed to protect me somehow without saying to me, don't do anything sex-wise. You're still young. You're whatever. So he told Eric. And Eric, every once in a while, just before I went even, he'd call, see how I was doing or whatever. And I, oh, I'm going to bring this right down. He died in a boating accident he was he actually flipped over in a boat oh that's a shame yeah oh let's make a musical boat okay sorry we could cut this whole part out if you want no he i i know i know who he is he was gill on rawhide yes yeah oh my god yeah he died a young man i knew that i didn't know it was a boating accident yeah yeah yeah he he died a young man i mean i think he was like in his early

30s or something maybe younger right because clint was younger than him 66 there are two names that have popped up on this show and the can't find people who like them category one's joey bishop and the other although he's admired as a performer was danny k oh yeah did you want me to talk about either of them? Both. Both. He wants you to dish the dirt, Michelle. Yes. Okay. Oh, I can't. I can't. I could, but it would be not with a microphone.

Okay. Let's see. I did a lot. Okay. Joey Bishop. Remember when he had that talk show? Yeah. I did many of those.

Okay. Okay. But jumping right on now to Danny Kaye, it was the first... I did two of his shows when he had the television show. And he...

I can't say... I know everything you know, okay? Well, did you like him as a person? I hardly saw him. He went, who went who's she okay get over here sing that was it that was it um no somebody's saying uh i actually when you have time look it up because i watched it last night no did you see me sing with him great clip you're singing mouth to mouth you're singing like an inch apart. Yeah.

Your faces. Yeah. I'm sure he wanted me. Yeah. I was saying we were doing. The jury's out on that. Oh. I think Gene Kelly and Peter Falk were on with you. I don't remember Peter on that.

1963. Yeah. And Charles Aznavour And Charles Aznavour. Charles Aznavour. Oh my god. Applause Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Which means you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away. Oh, yes, I will. I'll become a train and choo-choo out of sight. And I'll become a red caboose and trail you day and night. Then I'll become a bird caboose and trail you day and night. Then I'll become a bird

and fly off in the blue. I'll become a super jet and fly right after you. Oh, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away. Oh, I'll become a rabbit and flee across the plain. Then I'll become a greyhound dog and fetch you back again. Then I'll become a rose in some secluded spot. Then I'll become a submarine and kiss you when it's hot. Oh, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away,

you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away. Oh, I'll become a bull bouncing everywhere. Then I'll become a little boy, a never get away, I'll never get away. Oh, I'll become a ball, bouncing everywhere. Then I'll become a little boy, a bunch of blah, blah, blah. What else could I be? I'll be a Christmas tree. I'll give you such a trimming, dear, that you'll light up for me. Oh, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, you'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, I'll never get away, But you don't have any real recollection of the man. How about Joey?

Did you like Joey better? He was very sweet. He was. I mean, I don't know, you know, because I was a young performer and I sang. Right. You know, you would know this, Gilbert. Once you get into a phase of your career and you're doing either stand-up comedy, which I never did, or you're singing, or they know you from How to Succeed, or whatever it is, because I was born between two generations, kind of, you know, so all those guys,

even Lucy and Buddy Hackett and all those guys during that time knew me and I was invited to parties with them. So I wasn't really their age, but like they treated me always as a pal. What about Red Skelton, who you also worked with when you were very young? Oh my God. Any memories there? Oh, I went, yeah. Wait, I did do a couple of those too. Uh, what did he say to me? Uh, oh, no, he didn't say it to me. He used to say this all the time. He'd make this one joke all the time. Something about, he would have a heart on his costume or whatever. And he'd say, look, I've got a heart on. And he'd say, look, I've got a heart on.

I've got a heart on. I love knowing that Red Skelton had a bawdy sense of humor. Yeah. We've heard that from other people. Really? Yeah. Okay, let me see. Everybody has a naughty sense of humor when we're not on camera or talking at a mic.

I'll take that back. And I heard stories that Ritz-Gelton during rehearsal would be really filthy. And then when he got on camera, then he cleaned it. Michelle is nodding yes. Yes. You know, you're reminding me. You remind me. I think that's where the Hardon story came from. Go ahead, Michelle. I don't want to interrupt. No, I was going to say something. If you're having a memory. I'm having a memory of Fred Astaire okay because you know we're talking about people and generations and how we all belong to a family it's like Gilbert was saying early on when you

know when you worked when you did when you were known when you're not it doesn't matter we're all there it's it's amazing you know it's like it goes on forever. Fred Astaire. Okay. I did a television special with Fred Astaire. I asked him, I pleaded with him to be my guest. That's wrong. That's a big lie. That was a big lie.

No, I was a guest on his show. Big lie. No, I was a guest on his show. And during, okay, it was called Color Me Red, White, and Blue. Okay. Yep. It was long before the Barbra Streisand's Color Me Everything. 1972, to be exact.

The show that I did? Yeah, 72 with a stare. Is that wild that wild so anyway this is what i loved this story i'm telling you is going to show you how we're all the same all of us all the performers actors whatever mostly all the same so we were doing the show and the way it was shot, we did it in pieces. We did some scenes, quote unquote, or comedy scenes or whatever separately. And then we did the music. We shot, okay, Michelle's doing a musical spot. Okay, he's doing a musical. We're doing one together. And then we would do the wraparounds, okay? And no one was in the audience, and we were being shot by the crew. And he would get up there and do whatever he was introducing the next thing.

And every time, he would get up there. I was the only one sitting there in the first row just watching and waiting for my turn for the next one. And he would go into a paragraph of X and Y and Z, and he would talk about it. Cut. He would run right to me. He'd make a beeline. How was that? Was that okay? Do you think I could do it a little faster? Or should I? Fred Astaire is asking Michelle Lee Dusick, am I all right? Yeah, I guess. Well, you can do it again a little, you know, put a smile on your face, babe. Come on, get with it. Fred Astaire seems like one of those people, if you saw him in real life, you'd think, no, he doesn't exist in real life.

Yeah, absolutely. It's like Cary Grant. Yeah. Cary Grant. I have several about him. Go on. Wait. No, I say it's very important at this point because I'm very big on who's a Jew.

So, I heard Fred Astaire important at this point because I'm very big on who's a Jew. So I heard Fred Astaire is a Jew. Fred Astaire was a Jew. If you're saying he was, maybe he ran. I don't know. Frederick Austerlitz, I believe. Yeah, see? Are you serious?

Or was he German and you're calling him Jewish? Fred Astaire was a Jew and I think Cary Grant. Yes. Cary Grant was maybe half. What was his name? Archibald Leach. Thank you.

Oh, you know everything. Oh, I'm a freak, Michelle. I was at the Kennedy Center when he got his Kennedy Award. The reason it's so wonderful that I get to meet some of these people who I maybe wouldn't have met before is that I am a member of the Honors Committee, the Kennedy Center. So I would go until the COVID every single year to the Kennedy Center honors and talk to and meet all the presidents and everybody could ever imagine as we're talking about them right now. So I, you know, oh, by the way, Dick Van Dyke, I have to tell you, yes, he's getting the Kennedy Center honor.

Yeah. Oh, you just took it right out of my mouth. Yeah. Thank you. I did a movie with Dick Van Dyke, and we really have stayed friends. And every single year, oh, I did a lot with him, a lot more than a movie. We did, I did a lot of his specials also so um yeah oh my head is going in a million places but anyway yeah they're hoping to do the kennedy center in may i don't know if they'll be able to do it but maybe they're gonna if we're not okay they'll have to do it virtually and it really pisses me off because he deserves to have that huge

audience without President Trump. He does. And you know, the president sits up in the box. And it's so wonderful to watch them watch the artists. The artists who are getting the Kennedy Center honored don't have to do anything.

They just sit there and they're entertained. It is so special. But anyway, I hope he'll have an audience there. And I'm so happy for him. I didn't mean to jump the gun, Michelle, but you told me you were instrumental. You were one of the people that voted for Dick to get the honors. Yeah, for years I did. But you see what would happen. And I'm not instrumental in getting Dick on honors. He obviously deserved it well without me although he did try to sleep with me twice

for the Kennedy Center honor. You're not laughing. Gilbert, now you know where you have to go to get a Kennedy Center honor. Now you... No, you were in that movie with Dick Van Dyke, the comic. Yes.

That was a very interesting film. I think Carl Reiner directed it. Yes. And it was like a composite of old movie stars that he was playing. He was Buster Keaton in his head. Yeah. Yeah. Dick was playing the life of all those guys, you know, so fabulous. And what's interesting, he is so brilliant in this movie. If anyone wants to see it, rent it, whatever. It became a cult that it was a cult

movie because he's so brilliant and was so wonderfully done. But they didn't know how to advertise it. I think the advertising campaign was very weird. They thought some of it was very emotionally, sometimes dark,

brilliantly acted. And the comic is the comic. So Dick Van Dyke and, oh, oh. Mickey Rooney. Thank you. Mickey Rooney. So a lot of it was very funny. You know, it was funny, but they didn't know how to sell it.

It was really, at that time, you know, it was a dramedy. And I don't even remember how they sold it, but it was wrong because people expected one thing and it was another. Really try to go see it. Try to see it. Don't go. It's not an easy movie to find. You can find it on the Internet in parts. No, all you have to do is go to Amazon and put it in there.

Is it on Amazon? Well, the thing is that you can buy old DVDs and whatever. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. Baseball is finally back. Get in on Major League action and swing for the fences with BetMGM, the king of sportsbooks. Log in or sign up to play along as BetMGM brings the real-time action.

Embrace a season's worth of swings with BetMGM, your one-stop shop for all things baseball. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.

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We were talking about Cary Grant before. Have you met Cary Grant? Oh, yes, I have. Many times. Should I tell you once? Please do. Leach, that, I have. Many times. Should I tell you one story? Please do. Leach. That was his name.

Archie Leach. Archie Leach. Doesn't sound Jewish. Okay. Anyway, the first time I met him and I thought I was going to die because it was Cary Grant. Okay. And here I am, I'm basically a kid and I was going with a boy, Italian boy, who was going to UCLA and his sister was an artist. Her name was Leah DeLeo. And she was friends with Cary Grant. So I'm at her apartment and the doorbell rings. Oh, would you get that? Okay. I opened the door and Cary Grant is standing before my eyes. He came in and I almost fainted.

And that was the first time I met him, but it was hello and goodbye. And he only stayed for like 20 minutes talking to her, whatever. But he was a Kennedy Center honor. So during that weekend, just for you guys to know, there's several things you go to during the weekend and you always see the honorees, okay?

So I saw him many times times i took photographs of him and oh i was naughty i and the things you're not supposed to do let's hide behind this palm and take a picture of carrie my friend um it okay and then when I did How to Succeed on Broadway, his then-girlfriend, Diane Cannon, did How to Succeed in Europe. So when she, yeah, so when I was leaving and she was coming in, or she was going to start Europe, she rehearsed at the theater I was at. What the hell theater was that? I can't remember. And she, oh, the theater I was at. What the hell theater was that? I can't remember. And she, oh, the 46th Theater. Oh, the Richard Rogers. Yeah, it was the 46th then.

Yeah. Oh, God, see, that's how old I am. I still call it the 42nd, 6th. Okay, but anyway, she came in, and of course, Carrie was there. So I kept seeing it. Yeah, hello, Michelle Phillips or Michelle Triolo. He could not remember my name.

I'm kidding. Oh, God, that was, cut that out too, Michelle Triolo. An obscure Lee Marvin reference. Oh, you know everything. God damn. And, you know, so also my friend Dick Van Dyke went with her. You know that after Lee. That's right.

He did. He did. Yes. Michelle Triolo. Yeah. And they stayed together. Okay. Go on.

I was got to say. A couple of things. Gilbert, on the subject of Fred Astaire, I did a quick bit of research. He was born, his father was born in Austria to Jewish parents, but they had converted to Roman Catholicism. Oh, that's so disappointing. So there you go. No. Actually, I wonder if they were hiding.

I don't know about it. Maybe they were hiding. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, possibly. And so a lot of people. On the subject of fathers before we move on, Michelle, tell us how your dad came to write a song that Jimmy Durante recorded. Oh, my God. Because that's an interesting twist.

Of course, I will sing it. What a day, what a day, what a day. I got the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I forgot day, day, day. I got the sun in the morning and da-da-da-da-da. Too low, da-da-da-da. Okay, I didn't remember any lyrics, and it was too low. But it was called What a Day.

And my father did everything. My father invented things before people said they already invented them. My father wrote songs, many songs. That was the one that, but he only had one done, really, with someone major, Jimmy Durante. But that's a cool thing. Yeah, isn't it? And yeah, go on. What about Groucho Marx?

Ooh. I don't think I had anything to do with him. You were on What's My Line? He's talking about What's My Line in the early 60s. You were on a panel. Did I do it? Groucho was the mystery guest. Okay.

Oh, for God's sake. Okay. Now, here's the thing. When you're in the business for so long, you forget sometimes what you did. And it's so true. It's like I was a what and I met who. Right. Right.

I'm starting to sound a little like Lucille Boyle, my ball. My voice has gotten very low. And I'm talking, I slap everybody around. You're in a TV movie I talk about a lot on this

show, and that's Bud and Lou. We jump around, Michelle, as you can see. Yeah, Bud and Lou. We jump around, Michelle, as you can see. Yeah, Bud and Lou, yeah. I played Bud or Lou's wife. You were Lou Costello's wife. Thank you. Oh, goddammit, already

with you. You know everything. Don't take out the goddammit. And you didn't ask, but whenever the subject of Bud and Lou come up, there's Buddy Hackett as Lou Costello in his deathbed in the hospital. Artie Johnson sneaks in a strawberry malted to him. He takes one sip and goes, no way. I had a strawberry malty in my time. But this one's the best.

And then his head turns and he dies. My favorite death scene. Oh, I love it. Oh, God. It's not a great death scene, Michelle. It's not. No, we're talking a lot about the deaths. Oh, God, that's so funny. Yeah, I did a movie, you know,

when I did the love bug, it was with Buddy, too. I saw him a lot, Buddy, because we were traveling the same crowd, you bug, it was with Buddy, too. I saw him a lot, Buddy, because we were traveling the same crowd. You know, it was always, it's that entertainment thing. You know, when I did Knot's Landing, all the new audience of Knot's Landing had no idea what I had done.

Most of them, they didn't know I sang. They didn't know I had this past. It was like most of the things that I did that were major in my life in terms of our business, I was done by the time I was 30. My major stuff by the time I was 30, 31, I did every Broadway show that was major except for Tale of the Allergic's Wife. I did How to Succeed. I did The Love Bug.

Oh, like the bigger things people knew me for. It was remarkable. And then I went out on the street with a cup and I said, I'm owing the How to Succeed star. Nobody knows me anymore because they don't even know. They don't know who Cary Grant is. It's true. It's like they don't know Cary Grant.

Now, also one of those actors who I met a couple of times who's in that category where I can say, well, he was always nice to me. And that's Jerry Lewis. Oh, yeah.

You did three episodes of the Jerry Lewis show. I did do Jerry Lewis, and I should rephrase that. The thing that I loved about him, and I do it often, because I've directed many things and I'm used to doing this. I'm so used to, as he was, and kind of taught me it, it was osmosis, really. He, because he was directing, and of course this was his show, he would always talk of himself when he was setting the scene or whatever in third person always.

And then he goes over here and then I think he should stay there for a little while. You know, don't don't move the camera over yet. So it was always third person. And I a lot of people make fun of that when someone does that, but I totally understand it because it's, well, think of it in terms of a director's eye. Not everybody does this, by the way, but if you stand back and look into the scene, you're on the outside looking at a scene. Outside looking at a scene. So it's very difficult for most people to understand this. But I always, when I talk about me, if I'm talking about a scene or whatever, I'll say, I never say, and then I go up there. It's always, and then she goes up there. Because you're truly on the outside of it. It's cool that Jerry Lewis gave you a little directing tip.

Yeah. No, he didn't know he was doing it. Did you like him personally? Did you get along with him? I did, and we know I liked him because of the relationship I had with him. And, of course, I know all the Jerry Lewis stories, and I have also seen him be a bad boy, you know, with the ego and everything. But, you know, there's a time where certain people I can understand it because you work hard to become whatever you happen to become.

OK. And a lot of years are difficult and you have your ups and you've got your downs. And finally you make a noise of some kind. And then a few years goes by, younger people are coming up, meaning just people, not even in the business. And they'll say something about you that, you know, they don't have one bit of information about who you are. And also they don't care. So you become the person who everybody knew at one particular time. And now they say something that makes you feel as if they don't even know I'm in the business. And they're telling me how to speak into the microphone or, you know, if you just maybe stay still and don't move so much.

How many years have you done that? Whatever it is they're asking. And you do want to punch them in the face. There's no question about it. And so I understand. I understand Jerry Lewisis that's interesting he did one step no but it is true there's a psychology to who and what i am meaning all of us it's like i don't know you work hard there you are somebody comes up and says uh basically have you ever been before a camera before uh okay but you'll do well just listen to what i'm going to tell you and you want i oughta why i oughta

well that's jerry lewis kind of plus you know because you've seen him before be be angry mean whatever um the the thing also uh my son had his first child so i am a first-time grandmother this is gia my little oh when did this happen and a whole a month and a half ago wow congratulations and so i'm going thank you so I'm going through the book I have for my son, the baby book, and I'm going through it and I see that Jerry Lewis isn't just like yesterday. Jerry Lewis gave a baby toothbrush to my son when he was born. Wow. Yeah. How about that? So as abrasive and as temperamental as Jerry could be, you've been in the business long enough to understand. You think you understand the psychology of the man. Oh, certainly now I do.

Certainly now. But he was never anything. Yeah. He was never anything but nice to me. What about Buddy? Buddy was known to carry a piece, and he was a complicated character as well. What piece did he carry? He carried a handgun, Mr. Hackett.

Yeah, no, he never showed me his gun. So you liked Buddy too? Well, you know, Buddy was crazy. And totally crazy. But, you know, I was crazy and totally crazy. But, you know, I didn't know him that well, but I knew him better than a lot of people. And of course, that's how I got to know all the comedians. Really, through Buddy Hack and all the guys he used to hang out with. Wow.

Yeah, he was, Buddy could be naughty and rude and everything else and uh that's all i speaking of death i did go to his funeral she's laughing oh god yeah and that's maybe another 86 oh Oh, tell us about Robert Morse. Because he was so terrific. A favorite of ours. Yeah, he's a favorite of mine. He's, I, oh, God. I always think, okay, that was how to succeed.

He was brilliant. He still is brilliant. He was a genius. He was very young when he did How to Succeed. He was in his early 30s, I think something like that. And I had such a crush on him. I had a crush on this man. I would stand. It's true. And I finally told them years later. And I finally told them years later. That's nice. He might have known because I would look at him in that Rosemary Finch look.

Oh, Ponty. Are you going to the dance tonight? Oh, I wish they could have seen my face. I was brilliant at that. So anyway, no, I would stand off stage and watch him because I had almost done nothing at that time. And he would just get, he was a bad boy. He did, you know, he'd break the fourth wall, as we say in the theater. Most people listening to you probably know what I'm talking about. But, and then he'd stop something and he would do something

very funny. Like one day at one of the shows, a woman in the balcony dropped her mink coat over the railing and it came floating down into the audience and he took out his imaginary

rifle and shot it in the middle of how to succeed. He just completely. And he would do things like that always. And then what he would do is he would call me into the dressing room and at intermission sometimes. intermission sometimes and you say, you know, in scene X, when you say this line, you're not getting a laugh because you're not waiting two beats later.

And sure enough, I'd get on the stage, get to that scene, and I'd think, okay, one beat, two beat, say the line, guffaw, laughing, laughing. Wow. Yeah. I mean, he was a master at it. I can kind of do it today. I don't know why I couldn't then, but maybe not as much. I wasn't a character actor. So tell me if this is B.S., Michelle, because I had heard that that Tony Curtis wanted that part that in spite of the fact that Rosemary Pilkington. Curtis wanted that part that in spite of the fact that Rosemary Pilkington. Yes.

Your part. Yes. He would have been terrible. No, that that that the Finch part is as great as Robert Morris was on the stage that the studio sought Dick Van Dyke, who told him he was too old for it. You know anything about that? Or do I have bad information? The stage or the film? For the film. For the film.

For the adaptation. That the studio wanted Dick Van Dyke, who apparently told him he was too old for the part. Oh, my God. Wow. You've never discussed that with Dick? Never have. And I can see it. I understand.

I don't know for the life of me why they gave me the role. And it's something that they never that in film never happened but maybe it was because uh bobby was doing it i don't oh another interesting thing about uh how to succeed too musicals were not doing well or haven't in um in uh overseas so we did two versions of how to succeed. We would do the whole musical for the film. OK, as we did it. And then we would cut out all the songs and we'd add additional lines of dialogue. If there was anything that had to be said during the song, which really almost never was. And we would just do straight scenes and segue into the next scene.

And you worked with Don Rickles. Oh, yeah, I did. I did. And well, talk about a mouth. OK, you know that today, if he tried to be Don Rickles, especially with a younger audience who did not understand or know who he was then and what he could get away with. You know, even he said, I say this from my heart,

I love all of you, I make fun, but you know, it's just to make fun. Today, he'd be in jail. That's it. You know, right? There's nothing that he could do. Okay, women would slap him around,'s it. You know, right? There's nothing that he could do. Okay, women would slap him around, forget it. But

yeah, amazing man. I did a special with him also. God, I must have worked a lot. You did a lot of specials, Michelle. Yeah. And I sang with him something from Seesaw, another Broadway show that

I did back in the day. Seesaw, it's not where you start, it's where you finish. It's not where you go, it's where you land. So he and I did it together in Vegas, running around all these machines and singing. You and Rickles. Yeah. Wow. I'd love to see that. You know what is on YouTube, Michelle? I'll send it to you.

What is on YouTube is you and Dionne Warwick singing to Blue Eyes at his birthday party. Yeah. And that's a wild clip. That's a great clip, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. First of all, it's Dionne Warwick. So, hello.

You know, it's so interesting what we get to do when there's a cachet about what you happen to be doing at the time. And, of course, Not Salani was so huge. I could almost, almost do anything, almost do anything I wanted because they're constant. You just have, they open doors for you because they know you have a built-in audience. So no, I was allowed to do many, many things,

but that with him, forget it. And of course I met him many, many times. And I did. And what was Frank Sinatra like? Oh, he. I will say, and I'm sure nobody minds at this point, but he was a little, at one time, he was a little flirtatious with me. Flirtatious with me. But I never did anything with him.

I turned him down. No, I, you know, he asked me to go somewhere with him, like a quasi-date date. Wow. But I did see him often, and I do have pictures of he and me. I have things that he wrote me on photos, just being very gracious. Francis Albert always, you know, he'd sign everything. I don't think in 350 shows, Gilbert, we've ever had anyone here who turned down Frank Sinatra. Michelle, you've made podcast history.

Speaking of matinee idols, or not matinee idols, but sex symbols and singing idols, Rudy Valli. Who you made How to Succeed in Business with, who was a fascinating character to me. Oh, I have a story. Known as the cheapest man in show business, by the way. Oh, yes, he was. I'm going to tell you a story. First of all, I was not in his generation. Okay, so we know that.

None of us. Sure, he was the star of the 30s. Yeah. know that none of us sure he was the star of the 30s yeah yeah but it was amazing how people adored the fact that rudy valley was in that show how they loved that they got someone like rudy valley um okay the cheap bit of him yeah everybody knew it everybody knew it yeah he was rich and ate at the automat. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So now Christmas. So I'm making my Christmas list, little things for everybody. And Bobby is doing whatever. And Rudy Valley would have some kind of a deal with what was that shopping magazine where you could get Sears and Roebuck or something like that,

where you would get things from this magazine. You mean like green stamps or like coupons? Oh, but that's a good one. It would be him. But anyway, he'd come to our dressing rooms and say, would you like this? He had to deal with them because it was Rudy Valley. So he could get X amount of things for nothing. Say, would you like this iron?

Or would you like the mop and the bottle of glow? So eventually, he didn't get me the mop and glow. What he did was, and I love this, in those years I used to smoke. So my birthday, my Christmas gift was, I swear to God, it's this long like this, a box. Open it up and it's a carton of Kent cigarettes. That was my Christmas gift. Wow. And the thing that's so wild about it

is it was reused paper, Christmas paper, because the creases, the creases were all wrong. They were, he obviously used another one. Gilbert, you've got competition as the cheapest man in the history of show business.

It's so funny hearing about the automatic, and I miss the automatic. Michelle's parents, your parents are both from New York, so you know from the automatic. Yes, I was thinking of it as you were saying it. My parents are from New York. In fact, my mother, from the autumn. Wow. Yes. I was thinking of it as you were saying it. My parents from New York.

In fact, my mother, I was conceived in New York and born in L.A. So, bi-coastal always. Brooklyn and the Bronx, your folks? One Bronx, one Brooklyn. One Bronx, one Brooklyn. And then, I don't know if they ever moved to Manhattan. I don't know. But, oh, I think they did.

Or he did. But anyway, my mother took me for the first time. Because I was a kid. It's when I first started my career that took me to New York. She did take me to that automat. I went there a few times with her. And it was so amazing. And I do wish we would have something like that again. of Matt. I went there a few times with her and it was so amazing and I

do wish we would have something like that again. I remember I would go there with my parents when I was little and I always liked they had this little lion head that you'd press the button

and hot chocolate would come out. That's great, Gil. Good memory. Good stuff. You know, there was a lot of talented people involved in how to succeed in business. I mean, Frank Lesser, a Burroughs. Did you work with Fossey in the stage production? No, I didn't work with him.

It was already done. Yeah. Nelson Riddle for the movie Gilbert. Oh, yeah, I didn't work with it. It was already done. Yeah. Nelson Riddle for the movie. I did. Yeah. He wrote what what happened when we did the movie, how to the movie. The biggest song was I Believe in You in the show. And in the show, I did a reprise of I Believe in You as a ballad near the end of the show. And when we did the film, they had me sing it as a ballad to Bobby Morse on some stairs outside my apartment there. Bobby sang it as he did in the show, a comedy piece with him talking about himself in the mirror. Why am I telling?

Oh, Nelson Riddle. Oh, gosh. So he did all the scoring, everything for for the movie. And so it was great working with him. I believe in you in one take. You guys. Yes. Yeah. Don't say you guys.

Me. I did. And I'll tell you why. Okay. I'll tell you why. Okay. Okay. Remember what you were going to say. No. I was going to interrupt you with something totally not related to what you were saying. Okay, then shut up. Okay. Oh, God. When I'm not talking...

I'm almost playing a character right now to come out with some of the... I'm serious. To come out with some of the things I have said on this show and to look at sweet Gilbert, cheap, sweet Gilbert. Cheap, sweet Gilbert. And say, shut up. Where did that come from?

Okay, wait. What was I talking about? I was saying when I'm not talking about who's a Jew in the business, which really narrows it down. Ashkenazi, I think, Gil. Yeah. I also like to talk about Jew haters in the business. Oh, I know some, don't you?

Yes, of course you do. You're not going to name any of them, though, are you? One you worked with, Paul Lynn, I heard was a major curator. Really? He always said such sweet, wonderful things about Chief Gilbert. Oh, that was it. I can say so many things now, I better shut up. No, I didn't know that.

The only thing I knew was that he did have a drinking problem, but he was so good that he would have cars come to pick him up at the end of parties. Right, yes. Yes, not a good drunk, they said. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know some of those guys.

Yeah. I'll bet. Spill, Michelle. Spill. I had one of the same producers that was on the original Hollywood Squares, and he said Paul Lynn would get drunk. Everyone else was having a great time during lunch. Paul Lynn would get drunk and go, oh, those fucking Jews.

They're the reason I don't have a career. I wish our listeners could see Michelle's face right now. Oh, my God. Okay, we can't really talk about that, right? That's not going to make sense. Naming names is not good at this moment. Is that correct? Because it's not going to get on the show.

But we know a couple of those guys, bad guys. There's a few running around. One was the president of the United States. Yeah, right, exactly. Rudy Valli, you know, people forget what an incredibly big star he was in the 30s. And doing research, Gilbert, you'll like this. A woman shot her husband because he dared to interrupt a Rudy Valli broadcast that she was listening to. Shot her husband to death.

He was an enormous star. You liked him? You got along with him, aside from the cheapness? Yeah, no, of course I did. I'm not sure we even had a scene together in the show. I think you walked by in one of the elevator scenes. Yeah, but you were a kid. You're still in your 20s.

I really was. I celebrated my... Yeah, I was. I hadn't even had my son yet. I'm sorry, your songs got cut, too, from the movie. They cut Paris Original. Oh, I loved that. That was my hit. And happy to keep his

dinner warm. Yeah. No, it wasn't. I was kidding, audience. It wasn't my hit. Go on. Another one. Getting back to Bud and Lou. What was Harvey Corman like? Oh, I knew him well.

Harvey. She's well. Because I did so many, pardon the expression, Carol Burnett shows. Yes. I did many of those. So Harvey, I knew his, oh gosh, it was a friend of Jim Farentino's, my, my former husband. And so I would see him socially. Harvey was just a great guy and he loved life. He loved, I mean, he was always laughing, you know, the two of them together, forgetting Conway, Carol, pardon me, Conway. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. You were on his show too. You're on the Tim Conway. Pardon me, Conway. Oh my God.

You were on his show too. You were on the Tim Conway show. You got around the show. I cannot believe you're bringing up things I've totally forgotten. Yes, I was. How does he know everything? Oh, I cheat. I do the homework. I was telling Gilbert

too, we love character actors on this show. You know, the Jack Gilfords and the Jesse Whites and the Herb Edelmans. And you worked, and we were talking about it when I was on with you yesterday, of The I Sing, the Gershwin musical that you did for TV. Gilbert, Jesse White, Herb Edelman, Jim Backus, Jack Guilford, Cloris Leachman, who we just lost, and Carol O'Connor and Michelle. Can you believe that? Well, tell our listeners they can find that on YouTube. And you have some nice moments. You have that song, Because Because in there.

Yeah, it's funny. You have some really nice moments. Yeah, I had a great body, too. Did you see my body in that, too? Yes, I noticed. Did you see my body in that? Yes, I noticed. By the way, your body, if I may, your body in the love bug when you put on that tight-fitting, what is it, a racing?

Oh, the racing outfit. The pit crew uniform? Right, with the helmet, which now is my hair. Legs all day, Michelle. Yeah. Very impressive. Did you make a pilot with Ruth Buzzy where you both played

a female odd couple? How do you remember all this? Yes. I completely forgot that one. Ruth Buzzy and I? Did a pilot that obviously didn't sell. Yeah, it was about two messy roommates. Where did they get that idea? Oh, that's a good one.

They were the odd couple. A neat roommate and a messy roommate. As long as we're going down weird memory lane. Do you remember co-hosting a show with a young Ryan O'Neill? Yes. It was called Romp. Oh, my God. Gilbert, listen to this.

Joey Bishop, Jimmy Durante, Liberace, co-written by a young Rob Reiner and future Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss. That doesn't seem like it's real. And it was. Yeah, it was one of those kooky... It was the day when all the comedy shows were quick vignettes and...

Yes, yes. Right. And Rowan and Martin, that kind of thing. So it was during that time... Oh, Sammy Davis was on that show, too. Oh. Sammy Davis. Oh, you're not paying attention to me anymore. Yeah, everybody.

Oh, that's too bad. I'm looking at cards, Michelle. Forgive me. Yeah, that's right. You have to see what I did because you never would come up with everything you did. I found a photo today. There's a great photo. I'll send it to you.

Of all of you guys on the set. It's a photo of you and Ryan O'Neal and Jimmy Durante and Liberace. And it's surreal. Oh my God, my best pal, Liberace. Oh God, have you seen his bathtub? Well, I have. Okay, wait, romp.

I do remember that. Again, those were the years where they knew me As the singer Entertainer And at that time, I had a hit Record called L. David Sloan Oh yeah

L. David Sloan See, I'm singing on this show Go ahead and sing it No, I don't want to. I don't want to. You cracked the billboard charts with that song. Yes. And I think at that time, all these shows were done before I did Knotts Landing.

That's what's so crazy. All these shows. And then I did Knotts. I'm just taking a chance with this next question out of mid-air I don't know if you do this or not but if you do, do your

Jimmy Durante imitation Okay I got the world on a string sitting on a rainbow. Got the string around my

finger. She's good. What a laugh. Hey, Mrs. Calabash, what a life. I'm in love.

Good night, Miss Calabash, wherever you are. Let me step into this light. You really came through on that one. Wow. She even threw in the Calabash. Yeah. Yeah, right.

And then you miss me saying, let me step into this light. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Get to know yourself and your roots better in 2024 with Ancestry DNA. Want to know where your family comes from in northern France? Maybe you'd like to see how your genes influence certain traits like diet, fitness, and allergies. There's so much of you and your heritage to discover. Visit Ancestry.ca and get started with an Ancestry DNA kit today.

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New Balance. run your way. Find yours at NewBalance.ca slash running. New Balance, run your way. Here's another memory for you, Michelle. Here's a question from a listener. Mark Arnold says, I love Michelle Lee. Does she have any memories of 1983 Circus of the Stars with Robert Preston? Says you were in something called an executioner's box. Does that mean

anything to you? Oh, I remember that box. They showed me how to do this. Okay. This is the box in the show that every magician does. The woman with this incredible body gets into this box and she lies there. They close the lid

and the guy puts this sword and that sword and this sword and that. And it's really going through, by the way. Do you know that trick? It's really going through the box. And then she jumps up and she has my legs and it's high cut and I look so good in it. And that's the end of the trick, but it's a trick. But how would you guess that trick is done? The woman gets into, yes, a box. It's not a big box. It's about four feet or less. The box. Yeah. Is there some kind of sheath inside the box that the sword goes through so that it's

protected from your body when you're in the box? No! Okay. I gave it a shot. Okay. Anything else? Does anybody know the answer to that? I'll tell you. They actually teach you, the girl, whoever is doing this, they teach you where to put your body. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah. Where your legs go, how high you have to push the legs up to your chin, where your arms should go here where this and you memorize that when you get into the box your your uh your body's positioned so that all the swords miss you but it's actually going through isn't that great that's impressive has any girl actually been hurt doing this trick then it seems like there would have been there yeah well i would guess people can't get hurt by the way david copperfield who i also did a special with i did david copperfield did the disappearance of the statue of liberty and i was his co-host on that special and um oh his real name is Kotkin k-o-t-k-o-t-k-i-n how would you spell it I know this um you jumped ahead of me I was just about to say David Copperfield said you. Oh, you're right. And he is.

Very good, Gil. And he is. And David Cotkin. And I knew his parents. So we've maintained a relationship since then. I love his wife, his kids, everything. You know, he owns an island. Did you know that?

Oh, yes. He's got a lot of greenbacks he's got oh yeah oh major oh my god but i brought friends sometimes to see him in vegas and they go you know he's always very kind he sees them afterward but and he's got planes and jets and automobiles and whatever the hell it is but But his island is spectacular. I was there. He had me go once. And when I tell you, when you're on the island,

you are alone on the island with about 50 people who served him on that island. And you go, and he would surprise every single thing he would do for a guest like me. Here's what happens. Okay, every morning you go to breakfast. You're living in separate houses. Every morning you go to breakfast, you can have whatever you want.

Okay, lunch and dinner, you're all together, whoever is there. Okay, so he'll say, tonight, let's meet at Over there you see the patch of Leaves That are turning color That's where you meet me At night and you go there and all of a sudden There's a Set up for you

Hamburgers, hot dogs, popcorn Pizzas And he has a movie theater Outside You're outside with the biggest screen you've ever seen sand and a concession stand that you just take candy whatever you want and you lie there on these chairs oh god it's like magical beyond how do we get an invite Gilbert to David Copperfield's Private Island Let's have him on the show Isn't it Then you're going to be like by the beach

And of course it's on the beach So you're by the beach and all of a sudden you hear Ding ding ding ding Ding ding ding ding You turn around and there's an Old fashioned Good humor truck An-fashioned good humor truck. An old vintage good humor

truck with a driver. And you go there and they open it up, or the driver does, and gives you every good humor. It's like Fantasy Island. It is. Now that I've heard you, Jimmy Durante, I'm going to throw other names

at you. Can you do a Jerry Lewis? I'm a Jerry. No, wait. I've got to get into it. Oh, God. Let me see. I'm a...

Maybe that's Daffy Duck. Wait. No, you're good. You're close. Yeah. No, you're good. You're close. Yeah. Oh, give me one more. Oh, lady. Oh, lady. Yeah.

Oh, lady. Right. Okay. That's it. Give me another word. One more word. See, I got to get into it. Another word. Can you do Mae West?

Why don't you come up and see me sometime? Everybody does that. How about Cary Grant? Judy, Judy, Judy. Hey, hey, hey. That was a good one. Judy, Judy, Judy. Hey, hey, hey. That was a good one.

Judy, Judy, Judy. Oh, Buddy Hackett. No, that was Jerry Lewis. Oh, I was getting Jerry. Hey, hey, hey. Buddy Hackett. It was almost like that, except, yeah, he speaks like that, does he? It's a little like Daffy Duck.

Here's another comment, more comment than a question from a listener, Michelle, for you. Michelle is great. She used to come into Joe Allen's when I was waiting tables in the 2000s during the tale of the Allergist's Wife. I remember she loved the Cajun chicken sandwich, if memory serves. Does that mean anything to you? It's true. I ordered it every time I came in. He just passed away, too.

Yeah, we hope Joe Allen survives the loss of Joe Allen. Here's another one from Jed Disler. Michelle was involved in bringing to life many wonderful musicals. Did she work directly with Cy Coleman and Stephen Schwartz and Frank Lesser on song interpretations? I know you did with Cy Coleman. On song interpretations? No. Well, did they welcome your ideas or your suggestions? They were already written, honestly. But, you know, we who work in our business always.

I guess he means performing them, performing them. Yeah. Some of them are, you know, you just do your take as that character singing that particular song. So there's where the difference is. But no one has ever said to to me you're not doing the woman i pictured doing this song there's something wrong with the psychology of that woman that you're doing because you know again could be very boring for the audience but when you sing anything certainly doing uh well i would do it just doing a show. But you become the character and you understand who that person is, who is saying those words. So that's it. So it helps to be a bit of an actress as a singer.

Oh, definitely. In that sense, which is interesting. Yeah. Oh, no question about it. That's interesting. Yeah. Oh, no question about it. Unless maybe it's a straight jazz and you're a musical instrument at that point of time and it's not a matter of

a tsk and a task it. You know, how many times can you act it? Have you heard Gilbert sing, Michelle? Oh, many times. you act it? Have you heard Gilbert sing, Michelle? Oh, many times. Gilbert, go ahead. I'm going to send you, here's your gift for doing the show, Michelle. I'm going to send you a recording of Gilbert singing Helen Reddy's I Am Woman. Okay.

Which I have. Well, do you remember then making a TV movie called The First Nine Months Are the Hardest? Yes, I do. Written by our friend Bill Persky and Sam Denhoff. Absolutely. And it was, again, it was another show that I did with

Dick Van Dyke. I just have worked with him so often but that and sunny and share were in it oh okay yeah there were three real in life married couples right the first nine months are the hardest were three women who were pregnant and how uh each family saw their lives through the pregnancy. So, of course, all three women fall in love with Dick Van Dyke, their doctor. Everything was as it is in life. And, of course, you knew right then that Sonny and Cher were so right.

I mean, it was like for that show, for their relationship. You just saw it. You knew it was happening. You saw at that time that they had their wonderful, quirky relationship. And even though maybe they weren't meant to be husband and wife at a certain time, there was a great respect and love between them, a bond. I would say a bond that happens through whether you're working with them or discovering each other or through in the business, whatever it is, it does become something much like I had with Jim Ferentino. time. And we had, we remained very close after,

you know, the few months of, oh God, I want to kill her, you know, whatever it is. Yeah. We were very close. You guys did a lot of projects together. And I saw a night gallery episode last night that you were both in.

Were you up all night watching me? I was. I don't have a life, Michelle. Do you remember this one? Your aunt? Yeah. Aunt Ida came to stay. Really good. You were both so good in it. Yeah, that's one of their favorites. Night Gallery's favorites.

So spooky. Also, what did we do? And so well done. I produced a movie called No One Would Listen, which we did together. It was after we were divorced. And it was about spousal abuse. I will tell you, the movie was very special, if I must say so myself.

That movie was very special, if I must say so myself. That movie was special. I want to say, as we start to wind down, Michelle, I want to say Peter Riegert sends you his best, your co-star from the Jacqueline Suzanne movie. Oh, my God. Who played, I guess, Irving Mansfield. He's done this show. I'm in touch with him. And he said, please tell Michelle that she had me laughing the entire time. He's the one that said to me, I love, first of all, brilliant actor.

And I loved him. He's the one that said to me, I started to tell you this early on when we started talking today, that years ago, I would be opposite some old guy, you know, all these old guys, not Clint, but, you know, it's like if Clint Eastwood had to have a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever, she was 20 years younger than him, okay? Guys always got to do that. And women, not so.

Women, forget it. Once they're finished with that phase. They're almost out. OK. And it was Peter Rieger who said to me when we were talking about this, he said to me, hey, you had your time. Let me have mine. So talking about, hey, hilarious, all this. And now he said, OK, now the men can do it.

I can do it now. You had your time. Forget it. That's hilarious. All this. And now he said, OK, now the men can do it. I can do it now. You had your time. Forget it. That's hilarious. I also want to say that I loved your Will and Grace episode, You and Cheetah, which is terrific. People can find that, too. It's on Hulu. You guys look like you had a great time.

We did. Well, first of all, that show was brilliant. And everybody on that show. You couldn't pick more talented people. So, yeah, Cheetah and I did our stuff. I was teaching her some dance steps. She was, you know, Cheetah, do this, please. One, two, three. One, two, three.

You taught a stare, right? You were trained. Yeah. Stop stepping on my toe, girl. It's back, two, three. You taught a stare, right? You were trained. Yeah. Stop stepping on my toe, girl. It's back, two, three. Front, two, three. What do you remember about Bob Hope? Anything at all?

I know it's going way back and you were in your 20s. Oh, I did a great song. It's all about me. I did a great song on that show. Oh, no, no, no. I'm thinking of something else. What do I know about him? I know that.

Oh, God, I can't tell you some of the things that I know. Tell us. It's the stuff you can't tell us what I want to hear. But, you know, put me in your after this COVID thing is over. We'll sit. We'll have a drink. We'll get the real story. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Bob Hope. Okay. Let me tell you something, though. Bob Hope sang. It's known for Thanks for the Melodies, right? Yeah. The Memories.

The Memories, yeah. That's right. It's funny. I got it wrong. It's my memory. Thanks for the Memories. And so I threw a Peter. Remember Peter Matz?

Nobody knows Peter Matz now, but he was a music guy on the Carol Burnett show. Yeah. And also did the first album or two with Barbra Streisand. That's right. Anyway, Peter wrote Thanks for the Memory as a ballad for me. And in fact, Carol Conner saw me doing that, Thanks for the Memories, as a ballad. And that's when he said, I want her to do that show with all those guys we were talking about for the present thing. Oh, yeah, the Gershwin thing.

Yeah. I'm very sick of me right now. Are we finished? Soon. What about Battle of the Network Stars? Oh, Tom Selleck was so gorgeous. He was the captain of your team, your CBS team. He was the captain of the team.

Yeah. Oh, my God. What did you do? What were the events that you had to do? We're really digging low in that barrel right now. What did I do? Oh, I did the skating thing. Let me think if I can tell some good stories.

Wait, keep hitting me with things. Oh, Betty Davis. Okay. Betty Davis is the one. Betty Davis, at that time, when I sang the song we were just talking about, Thanks for the Memories, it was such a thrill to have her introduce me uh um at the end of whatever she said and and the young miss uh michelle lee i forgot what betty said

after all these years when you think of yourself getting into the business so young and you look back and it's been a remarkable career you look back at frank sinatra and betty davis and fred astaire and and on all of these people that you got in duranty and on the list goes on and on and on that you worked with. Do you what what what what is the emotion? What do you feel? Oh, you feel. Do you feel gratitude? Do you feel I do? I sense of wonder that it happened.

Yeah, I feel a sense of wonder that it happened. And it is true. It is true. Because how many people get to meet? That's what I mean. And Skelton and Danny Kaye and on and on. On and on. I'll tell you some president things. Yeah, go on.

I heard you on another interview doing a speech, if you remember any of it, called the Pollyanna speech. Oh, that speech is from Nats Landig. And when you're saying a speech, my character did that speech at a time that Americans were feeling exactly what I was talking about. It was a time, it was Reagan years, and the Pollyanna speech was about how come we have to send,

we can't send money through the mail. How come I have to lock the front door and put alarms on my car? And it was during that time where we, as our country, was hungry for whatever. We were having a lot of financial, I don't remember during that time, but what happened was there were a lot of, there began to be a lot of crime and robberies. And it was the first time a child was taken from the front lawn. And that was in the speech too. Why do I, why do I have to worry about my child sitting on the front lawn? Why do I have to have an alarm on my car and in my house and whatever? And that's what she said.

an alarm on my car and in my house and whatever. And that's what she said. I want somebody called her a Pollyanna. I said, no, I want to be a Pollyanna. People should be nice. Why aren't they? Nice should be the norm. It was when things were starting to change,

but they remember that speech for some reason. And always bring it up to me because it hit everybody at the same time they were identifying with what she was saying in that uh at that time what kind of you know we kind of defined your character that speech yeah in some ways yeah and also uh just to say something about that show that i uh did that i loved for a long time and then wasn't so fond of as time went by because it became more and more soapy when you know they don't know what to write anymore it's like you've gone through everything so where do you go but it was special it was so well written and as I was going to say, we went through four presidents during that time. And our show changed as our society changed through each president. So that was a segue into some of my president stories.

Okay. So I've met many presidents. Have you? You could tell us one. No, go ahead. Okay. If there's a safe one you want to tell. No, they're all safe, except, okay.

No, they're all safe. And I do have stories about all of them, but I will tell you my Betty Ford. I didn't tell you that on this show yet, right? No. My Betty. Betty Davis, yes. So I did have, she, my character, had at one point a dependency on prescription drugs.

And there was a nine-show arc for my character having a problem with it. At the same time, Betty Ford came out with her and allowed the public to know that she was having a drug problem. She also had cancer, breast cancer at the time, let the world know. That was something that wasn't done at that time. And I always bow to the president, Ford, that allowed it because you don't have to allow that. Okay. Anyway, so Betty Ford, I cut together all these things from the nine shows that I did and made a special program to send to kids in school, public relations, all over. And so Betty Ford asked me to come to lunch in the desert.

Okay. So I went to lunch sitting with Betty Ford, and she announces that she would like to go to the ladies' room. And I said, oh, oh okay I'll go too and then I noticed that the table behind us were the Secret Service guys and I never never knew about what the hell they were doing and why they were there or whatever so it was the first time I saw these guys talking into their sleeves and doing their whatever. Betty Ford and I got to the bathroom, closed the door, and I suddenly realized that the Secret Service were right outside the door,

listening, because they had to protect her. So now Betty Ford goes into a booth and I think to myself, I mean, I don't have to go so badly anymore. But then I thought, OK, if she can do it, I can do it, too. I went in there and it's when I had that moment that you were talking about, about all the people and the things that you're able to do and people you meet. I'm peeing next to Betty Ford. And I knew it. It was like my grandfather came here from Ellis Island and I'm sitting on a throne next to Betty Ford.

But it's true. I thought, oh, God, can I let the tingle? How am I going to? She'll hear me. They certainly will hear me. That's a funny story. That's great. And that's what brought it all home for you, all that perspective.

That's true. I have many more, but you have enough to cut together. Yeah, it'll sew together. Do kids still recognize you from The Love Bug, Michelle? Does that happen? No. But you know what? In France,

Knot's Landing was such a huge, huge success. They used to watch it on Sunday nights so it was like a huge, huge success. They used to watch it on Sunday nights. So it was like a family or three o'clock on Sundays. So the whole family get together. So when I did this movie in France, I would walk down the street and I swear to you, little children would come running after me and say they'd call out, Karen, Karen. Oh, that's cool. My name was Karen.

That's cool. I mean, can you believe it? That show was that show was a was a gigantic worldwide hit, not just in the States. By the way, this will tax your memory even more. But according to my research on the Red Skelton Hour, you played a stripper named Peaches. Oh, I do remember that. I even remember some of the steps. There you go.

Ba-dum-bum-bum. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Listen to this. Now, two more imitations I'm throwing on you. Uh-oh.

Betty Davis. Okay. Water dump. Which he never said, right? It's true. Water dump. Oh, that was really bad. Give me the other one.

I remember three words, or I can do three words from everybody. Liberace. Jeez. I mean, everybody sounds like Daffy Duck with me. Wait. Yes. No, this is this is

Carol Channing, I think. They're both close. I went right into Carol Channing. Would you like to hear Gilbert's James Mason, Michelle? Yes. I do. I've been waiting. Go ahead, Gil.

Oh, okay. This is from a Star is Born. Congratulations, dear. It seemed to have made it just in time. I had a speech I'll prepare in my head. But I know most of you gentlemen by name. I, you know, well, I need a job. That's my speech. I need a job.

I'm not constricted to drama. I could do comedy as well. Oh, dear one. I almost cried because that's brilliant. That was brilliant. No, I'm being serious now. It was brilliant. And it brought me right back to that incredible movie.

And then that poor man. Oh, God. He ended up in water, didn't he? Yes. Yeah. Oh, God. What people ended up in water, didn't he? Yes. Yeah. Oh, God. What people go through in this business. And you're famous, then you're not famous.

And then you drink. And then you marry Judy Garland. And then you walk into the ocean. And then you walk right into the ocean. Michelle, this is a real treat indeed. Thank you so much. You are an entertaining lady. Yes, I am.

We have had a lot of laughs, haven't we, Gil? Oh, yes. By the way, we have a rabbi listening to this show, our friend David Komarowski. Gilbert knows him. Oh, my gosh. And he writes, hey, Gil, which is more believable, the strawberry malted death scene or a world in which Buddy Hackett would be married to Michelle Lee? That's so great. That is so great.

Michelle, we salute you. We want to thank Gino Salamone, too, who made this possible, and also Tina Rock. Yeah, Tina. Who has been a rock and wonderful to us. So I know you're listening, Tina. Thank you. Yeah, my girl, my friend, my Tina Rock is a rock. Yeah, she does everything.

And we'll thank Aristotle Acevedo, who's also on with us, our engineer. You know, Michelle, you're somebody we could probably do 12 hours with to just get into the, you know, I use this cliche on the show that we barely scratch the surface, but if people go to your IMDb page and look at the things you've done and the people you've worked with, it's ridiculous. Yeah. I thank you. I thank you. And so much we didn't get to.

Any organizations or anything that you're working with that you want to promote or talk about? No, I'm not a philanthropist. No. No. pissed. No. No. There are things I can talk about, and God knows we all need them now. I just... Yeah, I mean, there are... Yeah, there's

something called the Entertainment EIC, the Entertainment Industries Council, which I've been a part of for a long time, and it did start mostly about drugs and the care for people to understand and educate. It's gone a long way since then. But I think most importantly now,

and I could name a few more, but most importantly now is people to learn to like each other again. Well, that's nice. And smart. It was very easy to say. Well, you walk the walk because we've tried for 90 minutes to get you to say something unkind about one of the people you've worked with.

Right. The worst we got out of you was Rudy Valley and the and the and the cigarettes for Christmas. You're a good soul, Michelle. Thank you for doing this. Thank you. Thank you, guys. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we have been talking to the

woman who sat on a toilet next to Barbara Bush. No, it was Betty Ford. Betty Ford! I'm mixing up my president's wives. You... The woman who sat on a toilet pee with Betty Ford. How many people can claim that?

Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen I ask you please How many people Can say that they sat Next to Betty Ford Trying to hear her The wonderful Michelle Lee Thank you Michelle

Thank you This was a kick Thank you for the fun When it comes to men, do I ever do what's right? Any year? Any month? Any morning, afternoon or night?

If there's a wrong way to say it, a wrong way to play it, nobody does it like me if there's a wrong way to do it a right way to screw it up nobody does it like me i've got a big loud mouth i'm always talking much to free If you go for tact and manners Better stay away from me

If there's a wrong way to keep it cool The right way to be a fool Nobody does it like me If there's a wrong bell I ring it A wrong note I sing it Nobody does it like me If there's a, I sing it. Ha! Nobody doesn't like me. If there's a problem, I duck it. I don't solve it, I just muck it up.

Nobody doesn't like me. And so I try to be a lady. I'm no lady, I'm a fraud. And when I talk like I'm a lady, what I sound like is a broad. If there's a wrong way to get a guy, the right way to lose a guy, nobody doesn't like me. Nobody doesn't know, nobody does it, nobody does it like me.