Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #131: The Cinema of Gilbert Gottfried

Episode Date: September 28, 2017

This week: Pimpin' with James Lipton! Dreaming of Alan Arkin! Dice Clay skips "My Cousin Vinny"! And Gilbert gets lucky in Madrid! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting partner Sun Life. The world is yours to create. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions

with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Perderosa. And who else is here? our engineer, Frank Perderosa. And who else is here? Someone who I don't know how this show could have stayed on

without. He is indispensable. Sorry, Gilbert, I'm not sure I caught that. You were uncharacteristically quiet. I'm scared every day that I'm going to find out that NASA gave him a job over there and offered him too much money to use. That is hilarious.

Paul Rayburn, who is looking up a question that I asked him 30 years ago. It's the ties that bind, you know. That's what's kept us close. We got an idea here for a colossal obsession. First, we wanted to say something about Frank Vincent, the great character actor, passed away. He's best known for popping up in just about every Martin Scorsese film. Well, he's in Raging Bull, and Pesci beats the hell out of him. Oh, yes.

He's Salvi, right? Yeah. Smashes his head in a cab door. And he's Billy Batts. Billy Batts. And good fellas. Yeah. And I always.

Frank Vincent. I love, you know, after busting Pesci's ass, you know, we used to call him Spit Shine Johnny. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Tommy. Yeah. Yeah. You could see a face.

You could see a face in your shoes. Fucking mirrors. Yeah. And then when he finally looks like he apologizes, you know, I'm just having some fun with you. And then he turns his head. And before he takes a shot, he goes, now get your fucking shine box. Yeah. It's a great, scary scene.

Yeah. And they were friends for years, him and Pesci. They were in a band together. Yes. Yeah. He's so Italian looking. It's like I can't stand it. Frank Vincent? Yes, Frank Vincent Gattuso

is his name. Terrific local character actor, New York actor. I heard when Pesci beat him up in Raging Bull, he just he enjoyed it because he had

worked with him so the's funny the idea of beating him up was something and very gratifying i think he was phil on the sopranos i think he was uh he was a rival mob boss on the sopranos but the week he died we did uh we did the raging bull bit with um oh yes with rob paulson so that was also weird timing it's funny do you. Did you want to mention the other thing about Raging Bull we were just talking about? Oh, and Jake LaMotta. Yes. Yeah, and Jake LaMotta died. I had a beef with Frank Vincent.

You did? Anytime I would try to look up my IMDB page, his would pop up as soon as you type Frank V. Oh, that's interesting. Hilarious. I never got to meet him, but he seemed like a real character and a very nice guy from what I hear. Yeah. From people who worked with him. And he's a name that has popped up where we were talking like, hey, how about Frank Vincent?

Yep. If we ever get Pesci or Scorsese on this show, we'll certainly talk about him. Yeah. But he describes him as not a household name, but a household face. He sure was. Billy Batts, rest in peace. So here's the idea for this week. Oh, and Harry Dean Stanton. And Harry Dean, we lost

Harry Dean Stanton, too. Yes, we've lost some good people of late, and they'll all be on the In Memoriam show at the end of the year. Oh, that's right. So do your studying up. My favorite part of it is that I watch the Academy Awards and the Emmys for the

Yen Memoriam. Just to make sure you're not in it. Yeah. I understand. I understand. Well, that's the reason when they have a magazine article about the history of Saturday Night

Live, I turn to the page that's whatever became of, and I just had to make sure my name's not on that page. You were pretty low-ranked when People Magazine did. Was it People that did the list of Saturday Night Live or Rolling Stone? Yes. I can't remember who it was. That was a horrible.

Yes, but they also pointed out that you scored on your own, in your own career, apart from Saturday Night Live. You did fairly well for yourself in comparison to some of those people. Eric Rine, we had a Producer of the Month suggestion, and this is on Patreon, which we'll plug now. You can suggest ideas for a show for your own or become producer of the month. Just go to Patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried, and you can become producer of the month, and you can tell us what kind of show you want to do. Also, Gilbert sings. You favored us last week. It's about Sherman.

You can also go there and request a song. But somebody said, Eric Rine, who's a very big fan of this show, said, what about the cinema of Gilbert Gottfried? See, I really wanted to save this for, what's his name? Who's that? Leonard Maltin? No, no, no,

no. Oh, God, I forget his name already. The guy with the beard and what is your favorite? Oh, James Lipton. God, I forget his name already, the guy with the beard. And what is your favorite? Oh, James Lipton. Yeah, James Lipton. Oh, when you were on Inside the Actor's Studio. Yes. What's your favorite sound?

The Bernard Pivot questionnaire. I'll bet you anything there was never a Bernard Pivot. I think it was on The mother's-in-law. What is your favorite curse word? Yeah, Gilbert, as long as we're asking. See, it's funny. When he would do that, it seemed like everyone wanted to be witty at that point. Yes, they all tried so hard.

So instead of saying fuck or shit, they would always go, oh, when I get angry, I always say tiddlywinks. Pussy feathers. Yes, yes. I always say, jump in Jehoshaphat. Do we have to get Lipton in here so he can return the favor and put you on Inside the Actors Studio?

Oh, that's right. We'll get James in here. I worked with him once. He was hilarious. He said he was a pimp early in France. He claims to have been a pimp in France. That's a whole other story about James Lipton. We break news on this show, folks. He recorded a campaign right where Gilbert's sitting. He did.

For Intel. And I heard James Lipton would get these French jokers to shit on the glass. All right. And then ask them their favorite word? Yes. What is your favorite laxative? Cancel James Lipton. We seem to be having some trouble getting this show off the ground.

I'm sweating. I can't get to the premise. Okay. So Eric Ryan, who's producer of the month for the month of August, this is obviously running in September, we're that far behind. But he said that he wants to know about, well, he wants a little bit of information, and we'll try this, about every feature film you've done. Oh, okay.

So some idiot with a lot of time on his hands, which was me, went to your IMDb page, and I took a highlighter, and I found every single feature film. Not your TV work. Not your video games. Wow. Not your stag reels, but just. So starting with, I'm not going to do TV movies. I'm not going to talk about the further adventures of Wally

Brown, whatever the hell that was. But your first, or the Toast of Manhattan, which we basically abused Barry Levinson for. Your first feature film that you are credited for is the role of paramedic. Do you know the film?

In House of God. Look at you, how well you know your own career. Now, this movie, there was a book that was popular. It was a best-selling book, and it was popular among doctors, I remember. I once asked two doctors, and they loved that book, and they decided to make it into a movie. And Charles Jaffe of Rollins and Jaffe, he was producing it. Now, they had already had, like, oh, Tim Matheson was in it.

That's right, Tim Matheson's in it. Tim Matheson. That's right. Tim Matheson's in it. And now Jaffe would hang around the Improv and other comedy clubs. So this was a sign of desperation because it was already supposed to be a comedy. Uh-huh. And late in the movie, they said, oh, let's throw a bunch of comedians into it. Like with the hope that if you throw comedians in, that will make it funny.

It was one of those. 1984. I was in it. Michael Richards was in it. Oh, Lenny Schultz. Oh, Lenny Schultz. Was he in a chicken costume? What was that movie we came up?

Every comedian was in it. They spent a weekend at some mansion or something. What the hell was that? We came up here maybe six months a year. Oh, there was Joy's. That's the one. Oh, well, that was a stupid Bob Hope special. And now, an actual part in the movie was Joe Piscopo.

Right, right. But it's an, oh, and the director, he had, his previous film was about a blind ice skater. A girl blind ice skater. And so you knew he could direct comedies. Was this Ice Castles with Robbie Benson? I think so, yes. It was Ice Castles. I don't know too many blind skater movies.

I'm throwing it out there. Oh, I've seen them all. Yeah. And it was, like, just bad. And not bad in a fun way. Well, that's your first feature. Yeah. And your second feature a year later. It never was released. It was never released, House of God.

If we get Tim Matheson in here. Made it to cable. We'll talk to Tim about it. Bad Medicine, which we talked about with Bill Macy. Yes. You did the following year, 1985. You, our pal Bill Macy, Gutenberg, Steve Gutenberg, and Alan Arkin. Yes. And for some odd reason, you played a Spaniard.

Tony Sandoval. Yeah. I was Tony Sandoval. And there were a bunch of, it was basically like a Charlie Chan movie where none of the Asians are actually Asian. Oh, great. Why could it cast you as an Asian? You look more Asian than Spanish. You could play an Eskimo and get away with it.

See, years ago I could have been Mr. Moto. It's not too late for a revival. And, yeah, so they had a bunch of non-Spaniards playing Spaniards with varying results of accents. Who was Tony Sandoval? Who was your character? I was like a mean-spirited assistant to Alan Arkin, who was the head of the universe. Did you get along with Arkin? I didn't talk to him all that much.

I talked to him a little bit. I mean, a great admirer of Arkin. We should call him. We should call him. He's one of those we haven't reached out to because we don't think we stand a fucking chance. Yeah. But we should try. And also, what's the rush?

What's the rush? Just had him on The View a couple of months ago. He's sharp. But then years later, I was in a hotel lobby in some hotel I was staying at, and I ran into Arkin, and he was very friendly. Isn't that nice? Well, we'll try. We'll try.

I mean, he would be a dream guest. Okay. Then 1987, this is your first movie with that was prominent and it was seen by anybody and and and and this is the most unusual thing that happened during the making of bad medicine okay which was filmed in madrid right i got laid i stopped the presses this is a whole other show. You know you've been on location too long when people are saying,

hey, how did Gilbert Gottfried get pussy? Was it Gutenberg or Bill Macy? That's my only question. Do you want to tell or should we not tell Dale that it's true? She was a local girl. Really cute. Wow.

Wow. This is a score. I mean, I think she had already fucked half the movie by the time she got to me. Hey, guys, Dara would like to set a mic up. Dara would like to come in and join this conversation. That's a scoop. We could do a whole other show on that. Gilbert gets flown to Madrid and gets lucky.

Yeah. Me getting laid anyplace. They should pre-end old TV shows. Or dim the lights at the Broadway theater. And lower the flag

at half-mast. I'll let that one go. In 1987, you played Sidney Bernstein in Beverly Hills Cop 2. That was a big success. Now, people think I got it because of Eddie, because Eddie Cantor. And then he'd row, row, row Right up the river he would row, row, row His heart he'd give her

He would kiss her now and then Very nice So, but Eddie even told me He had no idea that I was in the movie Until he saw the sheet that yeah but I auditioned for it and and I got picked and then what was so much fun is that it was written very flat and both Eddie and I ignored the script and we just started playing off each other and improvising so that whole thing about uh oh it's my wife's car and then i've got something and that's that was all on the spot and they let

you do it yeah they and they kept re you know they kept doing different takes and we did it different each time and both Eddie and I were ad-libbing back and forth and just cracking each other up. That's great. And then I remember when that movie came out. Before the movie came out

one of the producers or something called and he goes I want to be the first to congratulate you. Isn't that nice? Yeah. And Paul Reiser, who was in it, came up to me at the Improv in L.A. and said, your scene is the killer scene. And sure enough, when the movie came out, they were singling out that scene. That's when you should have gotten laid.

Yeah. It was all clicking. I never knew how to play that. 1987. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing

colossal podcast after this. at bet365 we don't do ordinary we believe that every sport should be epic every goal every game every point every play from the moments that are remembered forever to the ones you've already forgotten whether it's a game-winning goal in the final seconds of overtime or a shot on goal in the first period so whatever the sport whatever the moment it's. At Bet365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca.

Pandora. Be love. What does be love mean to you? I definitely would say my be love role model is for sure my sister. Unconditional, infinite love. Something that is never ending, that you know is always there never questioned never questioned no matter if you fall off a cliff she's there to catch you you know be love shop now at pandora.net and now back to the show can you look up when tony scott killed

himself and how long this podcast had been running at that point? Was he ever approached to be on? I was just going to ask, did you ask Eddie? Have you asked Eddie to do the podcast? I know you don't talk to him anymore, but that's no reason. No, but if Scoey Mitchell's still around now. I'm not sure we... Is Scoey Mitchell still with us?

I know we lost Stu Gillum. Before we get off that one, one quick trivia question. Ready? Who plays the valet who makes a brief appearance at the I know we lost Stu Gillum. So before we get off that one, one quick trivia question. Ready? Okay. Who plays the valet who makes a brief appearance at the Playboy... I didn't finish the question yet. Nice. Yes.

A very young Chris Rock. Yes. And Hugh Hefner pops up in the movie. Yeah. I guess Eddie was mentoring Chris Rock a little bit back then. Here's one from a year later, 1988, and this has come up on the show. Yes. You know where I'm going with this.

Oh, is this hot to trot? It is hot to trot. From my heat with Beverly Hills Cop 2, Sidney Bernstein, my crack agents decide, hey, let's cash in and get him in this next hit comedy. Let's go for the big one while we get the chance. Bobcat Goldthwait. And Dabney Coleman. Yes, in Hot to Trot.

And you were a dentist. Yes. Yeah. I pop up at the end, and I'm there with a—I do the scene with an actual horse, which was scary. Yeah, you told that on the story with that I do the scene with an actual horse which was scary yeah you told that on the story with Bob on the show with Bob yeah of course it did whatever I'd like it it at one point leapt up and on its hind legs and let out that piercing yell that they do and I thought I was dead at that point and and it was like such cruelty to animals because they thought the big joke would be the horse goes to the dentist and the horse is sitting in a dentist chair and horses don't sit right so. Especially not in dentist chairs.

No. So they had somehow trained this horse to painfully and uncomfortably sit. Oh, that's terrible. That sounds awful. And I was waiting for it to fall over and have to be shot. Oh, this is terrible. This is terribly sad. It was pretty awful. But the movie was such a hit.

Hot to trot. Where the hell was the Humane Society when you need them? Do you remember John Marcus from the Cosby Show? You know John Marcus. I think John Marcus wrote this script under a pseudonym. I ran into him in the street and we started talking about Hot to Trot. And he said, does Gilbert know I wrote that movie and took my name off of it? Wow.

He's probably going to be angry at me now for saying this publicly. But we'll bring John in here for a mini episode and talk about it. We're going to jump all the way past you playing knick-knack on Superboy and all kinds of other cool stuff to the year 1990, you playing opposite Priscilla Presley, Wayne Newton. Oh, okay. The further adventures of Ford Fairlane. You played Johnny Crunch.

Yes. With Andrew Dyson. This is where you upset Bobby Slayton because you beat him out for the part. Do you remember that conversation? Oh, yes. Now, what the hell, and I never saw the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Was this you were hot from hot to trot? Hot from hot to trot? Hot from hot to trot?

Well, they were mobs to see hot to trot. Right, right, right. And you're crack agent, Sid. Yeah, I auditioned for it, and Andrew Dice Clay wasn't there, but I'm sure when he saw the test, he went, Deskley wasn't there, but I'm sure when he saw the test, he went, I want to, you pal. A homo.

Ow! Hickory dickory dock. I was in bed with this broad. She says to me. I was going to ask you. I'm glad I didn't have to ask you. I was going to say, how about a little of dice? You don't need any prompting. That brought back memories.

Dice was at the height back then where he was playing arenas. He was like in Madison Square Garden and Chase Stadium. And this was going to be his big movie. Sure. And it's funny. The movie came out and bombed completely. He's a private eye, yes? Yeah.

Yeah. I've never seen it. And he was that. And I was Johnny Crunch. And I think my name was like Johnny Teitelbaum. Who was Johnny Crunch? Who was the character? Yes.

What was the character? Well, that character, I think they asked Howard Stern originally. Oh, were you a shock jock? Yes. Oh, I see. Well, that smacks of you were. What do we know about the adventures of Ford Fairlane, Paul? I'm trying to check this thing out here.

And I think because that movie bombed so badly, now it's picked up a cult following. Amazing. People love the movie. But back then it bombed so badly and he was getting in so much trouble. Yeah. He I heard he was originally intended to star in My Cousin Vinny. Oh, I'd heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Which would have been a great. Yeah. He would have been. He would have been perfect. Not that Pes that pesci isn't wonderful oh he's terrific yeah yeah yeah yeah okay well as as paul's looking up paul will be looking until this film enters the afi top 100 that same year 1990 now this is one of your biggest pictures ever oh oh, oh, wait, wait, wait. Also in Ford Fairlane, who I'd work with again later on, is Ed O'Neill. Oh, Ed O'Neill. Yeah.

In Married with Children. Did you put the moves on Priscilla Presley on the set of Ford Fairlane? Yeah. I was supposed to be having an affair with her. In the movie. Yeah. Didn't work out. No.

Yes, sir. Is it bad that I'm still waiting for Paul to say, you know who was in Beverly Hills Cop? Eddie Murphy. Paul's looking up the house of God right now. He's on the first. He's on the first. When I get it, I've got it. Hey, you know who was in The Kid with Charlie Chaplin?

Jackie Coogan. Look him up. This is your big film, Gail. 1990. Aladdin? Not yet. No. Nope.

That's two years away. You were Mr. Peabody. Oh, my God. Yes. In Problem Child, right after Ford Fairlane. Now you're becoming a cinema mainstay. Yes. Yeah.

John Ritter, Amy Yazbeck, and our favorite, Jack Warden. Jack Warden. Terrific actor. And he was big Healy in that. And written by our two former guests, Scott and Larry. That's right. Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski. And, yeah, I auditioned for that.

And they said they already wanted me anyway. And I remember this is a place that's been in the news lately. It was filmed in Dallas. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I don't think I knew that. Yeah, that's where they did the first one. And yeah, Ritter was a great guy, really friendly.

And Warden? What was your experience of Warden? Warden, I unfortunately didn't have any scenes with. Okay. But I remember I said, I want to have my picture taken with Warden. And they had a picture of me pointing in one direction. And then later, they sent me a picture of Jack Warden holding that picture and pointing back at me. Oh, that's nice.

And he wrote, Dear Gilbert, who says we're not close? Oh, that's nice. You still have that? Yeah. That's fantastic. And I got to talk to him a little during lunch when we did Problem Child 2 in Florida. And I remember he was taking the day off because it was a Jewish holiday. And he was one of the famous Irish Jews. Oh, there you go. Yeah. We were trying to list those last week. Jack Warren.

Wonderful talent. Leo Gorsi. There's a spectacular review of this movie on IMDb. Which, Ford Fairlane? No, Ford. No, of Problem Child. And here's the headline. There is nothing wrong with this movie. That's the most positive review.

Wow. I mean, how often do you hear that, really? G. Gottfried. What's funny about it, everybody expected that movie to be a severe bomb. And I remember when it was my last day of shooting, John Ritter, I was saying goodbye to. And he was saying to me in a very apologetic way. He was saying, well, you know the way it is. You take jobs where you could get them,

and then you hope for the best for the next thing, and you really have no control. And I think he was apologizing for the bomb that Problem Child was going to be. And then the first sign that things were changing was they did a trailer, and people were in love with the trailer. And the movie became a monster hit. It spawned a sequel.

Yeah. Which is on my list. Yeah. A monster hit. And people come up to me all the time. And oh, and we had the problem child on our podcast. We did, in fact, Michael Oliver. Yeah.

And Scott and Larry. Okay. I was going to ask you, we have this beautiful arc of a brilliant career, one thing leading to the next. But were they falling that easily? Were you auditioning for all kinds of other things that ever happened? Oh, I auditioned for plenty of crap. Yeah. This list could be even longer and more illustrious than it is.

We'll jump, and we're probably going to have to do several episodes of these because we've only gotten through one page. But this is fun. 1990, same year, you played Joey in Look Who's Talking 2. several episodes of these because we've only gotten through one page but this is fun uh 1990 same year you played joey and look who's talking too oh that's for another podcast guest amy heckling amy heckling wanted me for that and i i got to dance with John Travolta in that. I've got to see this. I mean, it's a quarter of a second. We do a simple dance. But that dance for that quarter of a second gets shown in the documentary Gilbert.

That's right. That is a good plug. It's in the documentary. You dancing with John Travolta. Now, do we consider the documentary part of Gilbert's career, or is that a separate special? I don't think it. Well, maybe we'll the documentary part of Gilbert's career or is that a separate special? I don't think it. Well, maybe we'll. It's tricky.

Maybe an entire episode to discuss. Maybe we'll close it. We're going to do a whole. Now that you mention it, we're going to do a whole episode with the director, Neil Berkley. We're going to do a whole episode about the doc. Yeah. Coming up. So I'm glad you set us up.

Let's try to get through this last page. We got about two or three minutes here. Problem Child 2. Anything special to say about that one in 1991? That was done in Florida. And, oh, that was the one I talk about in my book, Rubber Balls and Liquor. Another shameless plug. Yes, exactly.

Another shameless plug. Yes, exactly. And so, and in one part, Mr. John Ritter and his date go to a pizza restaurant. Is that Lorraine Newman? No, no. Oh, she's the psychologist. Yeah. Lorraine Newman's the one who's in love with John Ritter. I'm trying to remember it.

Right, okay. She's evil. Right. And so he meets Amy Yazbeck as a totally different character. And they're on a date. And go know Mr. Peabody and his date is there, this impossibly sexy girl with big tits. And they had written in that there's a food fight. And at one point, a meatball lands between her breasts.

I think John Ford did this first in My Darling Clementine. And me, being very much in the creative process, suggested to the director, you know what would be good? If I reach my hand between her breasts and pluck the meatball out. And they, of course, thought, oh, my God, this is why you hire Gottfried. Many directors have said much the same thing. And we did the scene a few times and I never complained.

Because I'm a professional. Let's make sure we get it right. Was your real motivation to improve the scene? Yes. I care. I understand. I'm like doing a scene with Brando. At that point you could have fished a meatball at him from between

Brando's breasts. Oh, and one thing about Problem Child, the original, there was one scene where it's in the home for orphans, the orphanage,

and there's a group of nuns around, and the problem child is supposed to appear. And instead, it's this midget who appears. Because they couldn't have a child working that many hours. So this midget appears, an angry midget. Of course. Of course he's an angry one.

And not a cute, attractive midget by any stretch. An angry midget. He's an angry one. And what I remember best about it, we're all sitting around, and the assistant director was a guy with a very impressive clip British accent. And we're all standing by, and he goes, you know, Team 1 will be expected on set in two minutes to shoot scene 12, act 4. to shoot scene 12, act four.

And the midget goes, boy, if I had that guy's accent, I could get all the pussy I want. Was he saying it sincerely or was he being ironic? He really believed. Oh, okay. He believed it was the accent. That is phenomenal. Oh, I don't think we're going to top that.

Well, let's stop here. There's plenty more to go, and we'll start next time with a movie called Highway to Hell. Ah, yes. All that's written here is that you played Hitler. Yes. All right. We'll pick it up from there next time, and

when we complete this, we'll do an actual Bernard Pivot survey. Because this is inside the actor's studio, Gilbert Gottfried. Way too is inside the actor's studio. This is way too far inside. If heaven exists. We got to get Lipton in here.

And we'll do one. I won't even do it. We'll see if we can book James and we'll do a real one. Anyway, so Eric Rine, producer of the month. This is part one of the cinema of Gilbert Gottfried. Thank you, Eric Rine, producer of the month, this is part one of the cinema of Gilbert Gottfried. Thank you, Eric. Thank you, Eric. Thank you, Paul.

And we have many, many more to go. The orphanage, the adoption agency worker in the first Problem Child, which somehow I got a job as principal of an elementary school. So Mr. Peabody had two different. Yes. Yeah. You think that's really messing with people's sense of continuity? Yeah. For those who watch Problem Child and go, it's different from the book. The novella.

We'll see you next time. So, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And, Paul, what the fuck would we do without you and your amazing research? Excuse me. Rayburn. I'm looking up Fort Fair Lane. Please try that to distract him. Colossal Obsessions.