Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #137: Jackie Martling Returns: Part 1

Episode Date: November 9, 2017

This week: Louis Nye holds court! Mae West wigs out! Rodney Dangerfield sings "The Rainbow Connection"! And Jackie meets The King of All Media! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Bet365, we don't do ordinary. We believe that every sport should be epic. Every goal, every game, every point, every play. From the moments that are remembered forever to the ones you've already forgotten. Whether it's a game-winning goal in the final seconds of overtime or a shot-on goal in the first period. So whatever the sport, whatever the moment,

it's never ordinary. At Bet365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit's never ordinary. At bet 365. Must be 19 or older. Ontario only. Please pay responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time.

This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. hi this is gilbert godfrey and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. That's not it. Oh! Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. I'm here with my co-host, Robin Quivers. And I'm once again being co-host, Robin Quivers. Oh!

And we're once again being recorded by Fred Norris. Uh-oh. No. Frank Santopadre. Yeah. Is here. And we're at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa. Those other people, I barely remember what they looked like.

And who might our guest be this week? Okay. Our guest is Jackie the Joke Man Martling. Perhaps you've heard of him. I have. Jack, welcome back. Well, thank you very much. And why don't we start out with the worst show business story I've ever heard in my life.

Okay. Steve Rossi told me this, and he died with this story, so we'll never know. When he was a young guy starting out, he was a crooner. And he got a job as the emcee for Mae West's stage show in 1948. So her stage show, she was already old. Not crazy old, but old. And her stage show was, she had like eight bodybuilders full of oil in slingshot bathing suits. And she'd walk up and down and rub them and say what was lewd at the time. It probably wasn't lewd. So Steve auditioned and the first night he did it, you know, he was hired, and he was in his dressing room, or his hotel room, rather,

and she called him up and said, come to my room. So I have no idea. So Rossi goes to Mae West's room, says, come over here, and she's sitting on the bed. Steve Rossi's like, you know, 22, however old. And he was Steve Rossi. This was the straight man. No Marty Allen yet. He's just a crooner trying to find his way in show business.

And she unbuttons his pants, takes off his belt, pulls down his pants and his underpants, takes out her false teeth, puts them in a glass of water on the table by the bed gives him a blowjob and as he's coming he goes and he pulls off her blonde wig

and he said he's standing there looking at this bald woman with no teeth with a mouth full of his jizz and he said I guess I'm in show business. Oh, wow. I said to him, if that's a lie,

I don't care. It's the best story I've ever heard. He swore it was true. Oh, wow. And good night. Good night. That's an icebreaker. Wow.

Is that a beauty, Gilbert? Come on. Yes. That is a beauty. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Now I'm really sorry we didn't get Steve Rossi on here. It's funny and scary at the same time. And it borders on believable. Yes. It really time. It's everything. And it borders on believable.

Yes. It really does. It really does. Wow. If you were going to say that's a bullshit story, where would you start hacking away at the truth? She definitely wore a wig. She probably gave blowjobs. She, of course, had false teeth.

And, of course, Rossi would have gone for it. You know what? Well, I believe it's true This is not exactly bragging Hey guess what I did last night So Jack You were here before We did a great episode with you

One of our most popular I got so much Incredible feedback from doing this It's so flattering To be invited back here I can't tell you It's great Everybody loves your podcast

It's so good That's sweet Thank you. And we want to thank you, too, for the guests that you helped us get. We were talking about outside. Tommy James came through you. The great Mark Hudson

was one of our funniest episodes. Oh, he's great. Oh, he was terrific. Mark walked in and just floored us immediately before we even got in the booth. Yeah. He came up to us

in, like, the kitchen area and had about 20 stories. And 19 of them were about Cher. Exactly. A good many of them. Yes. I don't think we told any of those on the air. Oh, whoops.

Yeah. But also Billy J. Kramer and Will Jordan. So we're grateful to you. Great characters. I'm telling you, you got to get Woody Woodbury. He's sharp as a tack. Woody Woodbury. He is a real, real classic. I mean, he had

Who Do You Trust Before Carson? We were stealing jokes from each other in 1979. He was already a, you know, he was already an antique. I don't know how else to say it. And that's a long time ago. Well, we're glad Woody's still

around. We'll get him. So, your book, and the reason you're here, Bow to Stern. Yes, sir. The Joke Man, Bow to Stern. You know, I've been working on it for so long and collecting stories for so long. And the first time I had a manager, Rory Rosegarden was my manager. He's a great guy still. I know Rory. One of my dear friends. There's Robert Klein, forever. And he thought that Mel Berger would be interested in a book by me. And my opening to my book, the first time I submitted it to somebody, the preamble was I'm sitting here in a cafeteria at JFK Airport waiting for Gilbert Gottfried so we can go out to Las Vegas to do that stupid show, The Watcher. Godfrey's so we can go out to Las Vegas to do that stupid show, The Watcher.

And I had just gotten notice from Rory, you know, not through, you know, not through email or anything. He had just called and said, I think I might be able to get your book deal. And that's when I started. And I started making, you know, putting stories together. Then the web happened. So when the web happened and there were all these stories that I told on the show, you know, the Stern Show was so funny because I would tell stories to them and they'd look at each other like this guy's a jerk. And after I was there a couple of months, they started thinking to themselves, he's telling the truth.

These horrible stories. So I started putting them on the web and I just accumulated so many stories. So the book is stories. It's modular stories, you know. Yeah, good stories. It's about me, but then a lot about the Stern Show stuff. And there's nothing really, you know, you read it. Well, it's also a lot about Rodney and Joannsus and characters like Louis Nice show up.

Yeah, and it's not behind the back stabs or anything. No. Everybody knows everything about the Stern Show. You know, all the crappy stuff he did, everybody knows. You can't really tell a tell-all about the Stern Show. No, there's no tell-all. But I love it, and I finally got a deal with Post Hill Press, and it's coming out October 24th on Kindle and on Audible. Who's one of your sponsors?

There used to be? Yeah, I believe so. I believe so. I think Audible was a sponsor. Did you do an audio version of any of your books? Yeah, of Rubber Balls and Liquor. That's the greatest. Oh, God.

That's the first punchline I remember, too. I knew you would know it. Oh, my. Rubber Balls and Liquor. Johnny Fucker Faster. So, I'm thinking, oh, what a drudgery

to go in and record your book. And I went in and sat there and read 300 pages. I was ready to read it again. I really enjoyed it. See, me, I fucking hated every second of it. Did you really? Yes.

Wow. I really enjoyed it. You know, the guys enjoyed the stories. They really enjoyed it. You know, I don't know whether maybe I was scared or something, but Artie Lang did my forward, and he also read his forward. So, you know, for the people that know me from the Stern Show and know him, to hear my voice, it's a good thing, you know,

if they can handle it. I'm surprised you didn't. Yeah, if I do another book, Morgan Freeman's gonna be on the show. Hello, I'm Gubigafu. This book was gestating since before the web. That's a long fucking time.

And I actually, I wrote a book, I started writing the book of my life in the 70s. And as a product of the 60s with JFK and everything. So the name of my first book was Profiles in Discourage. That's funny. Which goes way back. And I remember when we did The Watcher. And that was a weird time when all these stations were advertising that they were brand new stations and they all

had like new shows all of which lasted about a month 10 seconds right yeah they get they and the stations came and went it was like yes you know there was like a revolving door it was really crazy but you know it was but it was fun while it lasted right yes our channel nine show was on uh channel nine which was a superstation for five minutes i never understood what superstation meant and and what i remember best about uh the watcher is where two thugs in it and at one point uh we get into a massive fight. So they get these stuntmen who are both seven feet tall. To play the two of you.

And barrel chested. Did you ever go back and actually look at that? Yes. Oh, my God. It looks nothing like us at all. Oh, that was just the funniest. And it's like the two of us for close-ups. We're struggling and we could barely walk

and these guys are doing these leaps in the air right you see these two monsters poolside and then there's me and gilbert these two little bodies floating in the pool it made no sense so you wanted to write the perspective from jackie's chair you wanted to give people some insight absolutely what it is it's that there's nothing new in there that people don't know about. But the great thing is it's a time capsule. It is. You know, like I know where I was when the movie hit. I know where I was when the Channel 9 show hit. So people, you know, they get to jump off into their own little world. And there's a lot of funny stuff, you know, a lot of goofy stuff. Tell us a little bit about Rodney, who keeps turning up in the book.

We just had Richard Lewis here, and he told us some Rodney stuff. And Gilbert told his own Rodney story. The greatest, I wrote down some things to say, and there's a story that's not in the book, and it's not even my story, but I've got to tell it to you. But I was with Rodney. I sent him a joke. Comics lie to each other, especially in the beginning. They lie about how good they're

doing. And Richie Minervini was my good friend and there was no Eastside Comedy Club or anything. We're working in little places and I'm putting my amplifier and we're doing shows. It's a great story. I was playing my guitar and singing my songs in this little crappy bar in Huntington. It was a couple of days before Christmas. There's nobody in the bar except maybe one couple and Scottish bartenders at the other end. And I'm singing my cheery songs and telling my dick jokes and playing my cheery songs. And all of a sudden, this Scottish bartender says,

Jack, they want you outside. And I said, who? And he said, everybody. To this day, I don't like telling that story So Minervini comes in and says, oh man, I went on a danger field and I killed Rodney Loveme I'm going to be on TV and I got so jealous I sat down and took every old joke I knew and made it a Rodney joke And Minervini shows up and I said, look, I got all these jokes, give them to your friend Rodney He said, oh, I lied

You know, I didn't meet Rodney. I didn't get on stage. He said, but I was there and he hands me a matchbook with the address. So I wrote Rodney Dangerfield care of the address and sent it. Two days later, the phone rings and I'm at my grandmother's. Nobody has the number because she just died. The phone rings and I'm there with my girlfriend. He said, hello. I said, who is this? He says, Rodney. I said, Rodney who? He said, oh, I knew you with my girlfriend. I said, hello. I said, who is this? He says, it's Rodney. I said, Rodney who? He said, I knew you were fucking funny.

You know, I knew you were funny. Some of these jokes is fucking funny, you know. So I met him and we got to be somewhat pals. I sold him some jokes and I wound up going away with him for two weeks. And I'm still thinking of crap that happened. I told him when we first were going on there, I said, every time you open your mouth, I'm going to be entertained and I'm going to have a fucking party.

What do I care? You know, but he was just such a hoot and just a delight because he just, that was him. That, you know, he wasn't, it wasn't let me put on this character when I go on stage. It was this downtrodden.

Right. And I don't know if he's actually miserable, but he just, you know, he was all beat up. A misanthrope. Yeah, just answering the door with the bathrobe open. And we've all seen that. You know, like it's almost like, well, welcome to Comedy 101. The open ratty blue bathrobe with the balls that, you know. So listen to this story.

So John Fox was a very funny comic. He'd passed away a couple of years ago and him and Rodney were working on Rover Dangerfield, which was an animated. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. So they're in Las Vegas. It was Ronnie Shell.

They're way up in the penthouse and they're going down in the elevator. And Fox said they were going down in the elevator and the elevator stopped and this tiny little Asian woman got in the elevator. So they go all the way down to the main floor and the door opens. There's a hundred people waiting to get in the elevator. But on the way down, Fox said Rodney cut the loudest, most disgusting, smelly fart he'd ever heard in his life.

And they get to the bottom floor and the doors open up and as they walk out, Rodney turns to the woman and says, you're really fucking disgusting, you know? For no reason at all, but no reason but to be goofy. What was the joke, by the way, the big joke?

The one that he loved. The one that he first one, the one that he kept for years. I was living at my grandmother's and my buddy was in Peru selling Coke, buying Coke, doing Coke. And he called me in the middle of night, like three or four in the morning. The phone rang and he knew me well enough to know I was probably drunk. So he kept me on the phone long enough. So I would remember the phone call. He said, Chief, there's a joke this guy, Tennessee Bob told me this joke. Tennessee Bob told me Tennessee two-bagger.

And I sent it to Rodney as the Tennessee two-bagger, which he got rid of the Tennessee, but the joke was, and Rodney swore it was the best joke ever. He said, yeah, she was so ugly. She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl so ugly, you not only got to put a bag over her head, you got to put a bag over your own head in case her bag rips. Great joke. Great joke.

And Carson went right off his chair. And that cemented me to him forever. And it was great fun. Great fun. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. And now back to the show. And what was amazing when Rodney went on Carson, he would do a set. That would be great.

And then he'd sit on panel. That would be a whole separate set. But it was a whole other set. It was like when he did the two bagger he was sitting on the panel. Was he testing the material on panel or he was just doing he was just extending the set? No, no, no. He didn't do nothing on everything on Carson.

You watched him. It was so time tested. He was amazing. It was hard to get a joke into his Carson set. It was hard to get a joke into his actual act. Right. Johnny would just say, so how you doing? Yeah. Well, I'm okay now, but last week I was in rough shape.

Yeah, this one, the greatest, he did his stand-up for seven minutes, then he sat down, and for seven minutes he barreled and barreled and barreled, destroyed the place, and when he was done with his last joke, he turned to Johnny and said, what's new with you? Oh, he's great. And when he was done with his last show, he turned to Johnny and said, what's new with you? Oh, he's great. He's great. And then he would have, out of nowhere, he'd just say to Johnny, like, but you've got to take care of your health.

Your health is what's most important. Or Johnny would say, you know, how's your health? He'd go, not yet, not yet, Johnny. Health later, you know. We're going to be so spontaneous, but we'll get to it later, you know, how's your health? He goes, not yet, not yet, Charlie. Health later, you know. We're going to be so spontaneous, but we'll get to it later, you know. There's a nice story in the book about Rodney and Paul Williams, too, with Rodney doing a nice thing for Paul, really. See, I went to Fort Lauderdale with him and then went to Vegas where he was headlining.

But it was him and then Paul Williams' orchestra. And Rodney said, oh, the comic opens, and the comic opens, and then the music. You know, you don't do music and then a comic. You know, show business 101, you know? So Paul Williams was so thrilled that Rodney did that that he let him take his private jet to Los Angeles to do the reaction shots for Caddyshack.

This is 1980. And then Paul loved us, loved us, loved Rodney, and brought us over to his house in Las Vegas. And it was one of the – I called Paul Williams about a year or two ago or sent him an email and asked him if he remembered the afternoon in Las Vegas. He said, you know, bouncing off the walls with Rodney Dangerfield for five hours. What do you mean, do I remember it, you know? One of the few things he does remember.

Yeah, I think he sobered up after that. But, you know, we got so stoned and so coked up and so crazed. Oh, my God. And it was so fun. And Rodney's sitting there going, how do you come up with those songs, Paul? And he goes, oh, Rodney, you know what? They just, they're in the air. I plug, oh, they're just in the air.

There's no getting over that rainbow. That's fucking beautiful, Paul. In the air. That's fucking, oh, God. I thought I was going to die. Rodney Dangerfield singing the Rainbow Connection. Oh, my God. But I mean, he must have said, you know, he must have said the opening line, you know,

plenty of times. Right, right. And Paul's wife at I mean, he must have said the opening line, you know, plenty of times. Right, right. And Paul's wife at the time, Katie, loved Rodney, so he just kept breaking out. You know, oh, Jesus Christ. I'm like, pinch me. You know what? I'm adding to the festivities. I felt like I fit in.

You know what I mean? So that was a great, great time. Wow. You know, years later, this anecdote has nothing to do with anything, but I was working in one of these shitholes in the middle of, I think, Knoxville. Funny bone in Knoxville. And I was doing a talk show. And it was so long ago that Crook and Chase, Charlie Chase and whatever name was, was a little local show in Knoxville.

Then they became huge. And now they're gone. They're probably dead. But they came and went. But they had this little local talk show and Paul Williams was on before me. And I hadn't seen him in years since that. And I'm sure he wouldn't have remembered me or maybe he would have, but I didn't beat him up to say hello or anything because we crossed paths. But he was sitting there, I'll never forget this. And they're like, you are such a great songwriter. Everything you write is so good have

you ever written anything that wasn't a hit and he goes oh yeah they said like what he said brown christmas god bless paul it's so funny so funny here's something i didn't know from the book jack i didn't know that you started out as a guest on Howard's NBC show, that that was where the relationship began. I met Howard the exact same way I met Rodney. You know, when I started out, I made an album and I borrowed money. It's all in the book. It explains, like, I learned how to make an album. I knew all these dirty jokes. I said, well, I'm going to make an album full of dirty jokes for whatever reason. You know, like Red Fox, I made an album full of dirty jokes, and then I made another one, and then I made another one.

And as it went along, when I put out an album, I sent it to everybody. If I met you on the street, I still run into people who say, oh, you gave me a fucking album 40 years ago. You know, if you could help me, maybe you can help me. Here's an album. I love how you sent one to Mad Magazine, and you got a Don Martin cartoon back. Oh, you know, I got a half price off on a microcassette from a Japanese company that wrote back and said, we don't have any idea what you're doing, but you seem to have a lot of energy.

So every time I put out an album, I send it to everybody. And by 1982, I had three albums out. And she was going to be my wife, but my girlfriend Nancy and I worked together. And we sent the three albums with matching cassettes and all our promo to everybody I came in contact with. Just throwing it against the wall. No idea what I'm doing. No idea what I'm doing. And then I was in Washington, D.C. at Garvin's Laughing.

Oh, my God. And Harry Montecrucius. Garvin's Grill. Right. And Harry Montecrucius says, grill Right And Harry Monacruso says Hey there's this wild man That did broadcast In his underwear

On Fridays And he just got fired He's going to NBC In New York You should look him up I have no idea Who this guy is I didn't listen to the radio

I was a hippie So I We just sent My three albums Blind Howard Stern Kara WNBC

Just like we had sent out Literally three or four Hundred packages like that. And one day Nancy called me up. I was in my mother's attic. That was that was joke land. My mother's attic, my dial joke machines and everything. She said, hey, that this jockey Howard Stern called.

He wants you to call him. So I called him. He got right on the phone. Said, hey, we listen to your albums. You know, every joke. Why don't you come in and hang out on the air? We're going to judge a talent contest over the telephone. I'm like, okay. It was a rainy Tuesday in February of 1983. I'll never forget. I mean, I had sent the albums a couple of months before, but it took them a

while to get settled. I drove in, you know, 30 Rock, and then, you know, I go up and there's Fred and there's Robin and there's Howard. And I sat down and we laughed for four hours. And at the end of four hours, they said, you're a lot of fun. Come back next week. And I came back once a week for three years for free. And then we went to mornings and then we went to fucking Pluto. Right. And I slowly but surely started giving them lines and kind of, you know,

put work in my way into into the into the crux of the whole thing was so funny is when there'd be a feud going on between you and and howard and he was insulting you you'd be slipping him the insult lines to it oh my god people people have trouble wrapping their brains around that. You know, it's all for one for all, you know. It was, you know, and they'd be like, you know, oh, don't say that. So we got to interrupt this with a joke. So a guy goes in a bar and he's having a few beers and he goes into the bathroom and there's a guy bent over the bathroom and there's a guy bent over

the sink and there's a guy behind him fucking him in the ass. There's a guy behind him fucking him in the ass. And the guy's like, geez, he goes to the bartender. He says, what's going on in this place? I go in there. There's a guy bent over the sink. A guy behind him fucking him in the ass. A guy behind him fucking him in the ass.

What the hell kind of place is this? And the bartender says, the guy in the middle, do you have on an orange shirt? He says, yeah. He says, that's Bob. He's lucky in cards, too. I had to get that one in there. I knew you hadn't heard that. There's a fun story about hanging out with Louis Nye, too, in the book.

You get a girl and you go back when you're on tour with Rodney, and you bring her back to Rodney's. We're in Fort Lauderdale, and I was so horny. I was freaking out, and I said, you know, because it's spring break. And everybody, all the girls are college girls in bikinis, skimpy bikinis. And we're at the Bahia Mar in the thick of everything, right on A1A. I don't know if it's in the book. One day, I swear to God, he said this, which just, it's so Rodney.

We're walking along the beach and these girls are unbelievable. It's so Rodney. We're walking along the beach, and these girls are unbelievable. And he just turns to me and says, don't you wish you could just fuck anybody you wanted? For no reason. Out of the blue. Why would you say that?

So I said, I'm going to go and find myself a girl. He said, good luck with that. So I went and got drunk at the elbow room on las olas and uh i drank it to limit a girl and we came back and uh i wanted you know i wanted to show her who i was with i didn't tell her who i was with i wanted to surprise her i knocked on the door and rodney pull you know he's surprised because you know i succeeded and he says come in and i'm like holy fates louie andye standing there who's like oh and i'm i was weaned on steve allen and i host steve arino and tom poston and don knots and bill dana and bill dana oh it's just uh just fantastic and then we were all sitting around

the pool the next day or a couple days later because louie nye had a uh one-man show in town and i was sitting with glenn hirsch and and p Bob Nelson, Larry Miller, Dennis Wolfberg, Paul Reiser. We're all working at this comic strip. I hadn't even worked there yet. And I finagled Rodney after we went to see Louis Nye. I finagled him into going to the comic strip. And I come walking into the comic strip and Rodney's behind me and Paul Reiser's eyes popped out and then the piece de resistance Louis Nye's behind Rodney and he's like Reiser's

like you a racist and everybody killed and I invite the guys over to the pool and we're all sitting around laughing and breaking balls with Rodney and Louis was sitting all alone I said hey guys let's go talk to Louisis and they're all like no no no no you don't want to bother louis now you're like the fuck are you talking about i'm sure he'd love nothing better and we walked over there and said hello and we didn't get a word edgewise for two hours he just went on and on and on he was so thrilled to talk about the steve allen show of course you know another fun another guy we never got gil and and you i always say this way before now it's just commonplace every single comic has merch and you know that they're selling

bumper stickers tapes blah blah blah and it you were like the first you know like uh bill cosby and those guys you know they they signed with huge record companies and had big record deals, blah, blah, blah. But I found out from working in a studio that you could make a homegrown album. So I actually recorded an album on cassette and chopped it up with a razor blade and all that stuff. All the stuff is in the book because it's such a good story. And I got these albums and there's so many stories about the albums. But I would take them to gigs. And I'd stand at the door and sell my albums for $5.

And the other comics would break my balls. They'd make fun of me. Until one day somebody said, wait a minute. We each made $40. And he made an extra $80 selling a stupid album. What an asshole he is, you know. And I just kept going and going and making more albums. And it was always is, you know. And I just kept going and going and making more albums. And it was, you know, it was always fun, you know.

And they still have people, to this day, people break my, you know, Sinbad used to say, yeah, Jack used to always have knickknacks. Jack had knickknacks. Gil, you've been known to sell a little merch at a venue. Yeah. Please. And I was one of those that got on it late. Because I'd be at all these gigs,

and the opening act, who was like, you know, 13, he'd have a— Has a stack of CDs two feet high. Yeah, and he'd be selling like crazy. It was a hoot. Tell us a little bit, too, with somebody who also comes up in the book and came up the last time you were here, and that's Joe Ansis. For people that don't know, only hardcore comedy people would even know who he was. I think he lived in my building, by the way.

Really? South 74th Street. I met him a bunch of times. He was a very quiet guy. I don't remember what I said last time and what I, you know, but Joe was the guy that used to yell. There was a certain line that people would yell. Did I talk about that last time? Well, tell us again.

Well, Rodney and him were great friends. It was Joe Ansis and Rodney and Buddy Hackett and Lenny Bruce and all those guys, I guess, hung out. 57, 55, 50, whatever. They were a pack, you know. And I guess they all had fun and broke balls. But Joe was like the funniest guy. You know, there's always somebody in the group that's a pisser. They never got on stage.

But he was frightened to death, and he wouldn't. But he was scared. He was a big, tall guy, but he was kind of hunched over and scared of his own shadow. But he'd be in the back of Dangerfields. In the middle of Rodney's act, he'd go, so what do you do for a living? And Rodney would go, I get guys for your sister. Why don't you come in the bathroom? I'll show you how small you really are.

And bring the house down. And then when we went to Las Vegas, I was the guy in the back of the room yelling that out. I always felt so inside, you know. Yeah. But Joe, he was a very nice guy. Very nice guy. But, you know, I spent a couple nights hanging out with him and Rodney a little bit, and he probably said four words, you know.

But he couldn't have been nicer. You know, he couldn't have been nice. Yeah, they always said he— He was the funny guy. Like, he was the funny guy who, like other comics, their famous bits came from him. Right, especially Lenny Bruce, supposedly. Yeah. You know, Who knows? It was funny that he

never, ever on a bet, supposedly he never took the stage ever, ever, which is you know. Wow. Strange. Yeah, I think it's great. Just didn't have it in him. He was literally petrified. Which is great. And he was huge.

You know. Ah, go figure. So here's a joke I always end my act with, okay? A cab driver picks up a nun. A cab driver picks up a nun. He looks in the rearview mirror and says, you know, sister, I always fantasize about being with a nun. She says, yeah, you and everybody else. Are you Catholic?

Yes, I am. She says, pull over. He pulls over. She gets in the front seat and gives him the best blowjob he's ever had. She gets done. He feels guilty. He says, sister, I got to tell you something. I'm not really Catholic. She says, yeah, my name's Ralph. I'm going to a costume party. Buy my book. Tell them to buy my book. I'm going to tell them to buy your book. We'll come back. We're going to come back and do a part two with this. The book is called Bow to Stern.

It's Jackie's memoir. It's Jackie's fly-on-the-wall view. What about The Joke Man, Bow to Stern? The Joke Man, Bow to Stern. Kindle, audible audio version, and hardcover. We're going to give you a chance to do those plugs again, because we're going to stop here and start again and do a second one. What do you think of that?

I might go down on you all right gill and this has been uh gilbert and frank's amazing colossal obsession with uh jackie the joke man martling part one Colossal Obsessions