Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #143: Obscure Christmas Movies

Episode Date: December 21, 2017

This week: Grizzly Adams to the rescue! Gilbert dons a Santa suit! Frank Capra cries plagiarism! Rod Serling meets Charles Dickens! And the squirrel that saved Christmas! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here we go, boys. One, two, this is Gilbert Godfrey and I'm here with Frank Santopadre and this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with Frank Santopadre. And this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions. Once again, at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa, who lost three of us. Fake news. Fake news. Aren't you going to introduce the other important cog in this machine? Over here. Yes, yes. He's the clog.

The cog. I said not yes. He's the clog. The cog. I said not clog. He's the cock. Paul Rader. The clog in the podcast drain. I like that. That's my autobiography, The Clog in the Machine.

This is something silly. We don't have any housekeeping to do because we just did it all. But this is, I thought we would knock out, because Mario was here for the Christmas episode, which posts on Christmas Day. I thought we would knock out a quick mini episode

with a Christmas theme. Ah. And try to bring up some oddball Christmas movies. Paul has his trusty research machine. I'm already looking at one that does not ring a bell. I'm not going to go in any kind of chronological order i just found these i googled oddball christmas movies of the 40s 50s and 60s and these are some of the things i found i'm going to start with this one from uh 1950 and i say i'm jumping around you do You are not familiar with a Christmas movie called The Great Rupert.

No. It is not about our wonderful podcast guest, Rupert Holmes. It is a comedy fantasy, a comedy family film produced by George Powell. Wow. Of all people. You love George Powell. Yeah. You love Seven Faces.

Of Dr. Lau with Tony Randall. Now, I found this, and I loved it. I can already hear Richard Kind screaming at his device. The Great Rupert. He loves these kind of movies. He loves the one Once Upon a Time with Cary Grant and the Dancing Caterpillar. Oh. This.

Listen to this plot. The story revolves around a little animated squirrel who, with lots of charm, helps two economically distressed families overcome their obstacles at the holiday. I'm lost. Do you know this? No. With Jimmy Durante. Wow.

Yeah. Rosalinda Amendola, the daughter of happy but impoverished former acrobats, is in love with the boy next door, but his miserly father, Frank, insists on hiding his money from his investments in the wall of their family home, and the situation changes when Joe Mahoney, a vaudeville performer who has fallen on hard times, that's obviously Jimmy Durante,

shows up with Rupert the Dancing Squirrel. Oh my god. Unsatisfied with tree life, Rupert gains access to the Dingle home and unbeknownst to Frank, has his bed in Frank's hidden cache of money.

This is the craziest... Yeah, George Pal. It sounds horrible. 87 minutes. What do you got, Paul? Anything on the great Rupert? Peter Dingle. Is Tom Drake anybody? Tom Drake. I don't know.

Terry Moore was in it. Do you know Terry Moore from Mighty Joe Young? Oh. And she was one of Howard Hughes' lovers. It's sort of Uncle Billy the motion picture, if you know Thomas Mitchell in It's a Wonderful Life. Okay, I stumped you with the first one. I think you've said absolutely everything that needs to be said. We'll throw it out to our listeners. If you know

the great Rupert, write us about it. Fairy tales can come true. They can happen to you if you're young at heart. You know, we never had you do

Durante in any of the end of the year shows. Next year we'll bake in your Durante. Are you familiar with a Christmas movie called Susan Slept Here? No. I continue to stump him. I know George Washington slept here. Yes, I know that one too. Jack Benny always used to make fun of how bad his movies were.

That one and The Horn Blows at Midnight. Yes at Midnight were the two that he used to malign. Yeah. Which isn't that bad. They used to show it on New Year's Eve. Susan Slept Here, and again, I'm going to put this out to our listeners, directed by the great Frank Tashlin. Oh. Of all the Jerry Lewis comedies. Yeah, yeah.

Artists and models and all of them. It is a romantic comedy starring Dick Powell in his final role and Debbie Reynolds. And Herb Vigran. Do you know Herb Vigran? No. If I showed him to you, you'd know him. He was an actor with bushy eyebrows. He always played a bad guy on Superman.

He talked like this. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Herb Vigran. Just saw him in White Christmas the other night. No need to go into the plot since you don't know it, but it has something to do with juvenile delinquency and a kind-hearted cop. And it's apparently a Christmas movie. And a squirrel who saves the children.

No squirrel. There's no squirrel in it. But listen to this cast. Anne Francis turns up, Honey West. Oh, yeah. Alvy Moore was the man who played Mr. Kimball on Green Acres. Oh, God, yeah. Do you remember him?

Herb Vigran, Les Tremaine, Ellen Corby, who was the grandmother on The Waltons. Okay. And Benny Rubin. Wow. How about that? Reynolds later admitted having a mad crush on Dick Powell. He taught me common courtesy the film was nominated for two academy awards does nothing for you nothing look how about

that we've stumped him twice but the common courtesy part was nice okay i'm gonna fly around now here's one i know you know oh Because we have discussed this on another show. This is called A Carol for Another Christmas. And this was the Twilight. This was the one written by Rod Serling. Oh, wow. It is not a Twilight Zone episode, but it was written by Rod Serling and directed by, of all people, Joseph L. Mankiewicz.

Is this the one with the drunken Santa? No, that was the Twilight Zone episode with Art Carney. Yeah. This is a, I believe it's a series, it was a first in a planned series of television specials. It was televised on ABC once, December 28th, 1964, and not shown again for 48 years. Wow. Until Turner Classic Movies dug it up, and it includes Peter Sellers' first performance

after suffering a near-fatal heart attack. Oh, jeez. In 1964. It's a Scrooge story. Yeah. Three ghosts visit a bitter man. Three ghosts visit a bitter man played by Sterling Hayden. And why is he bitter?

He's bitter because he lost his son during World War II. Yes. It's a Scrooge movie with an anti-war theme. Sterling Hayden, for people who don't know, I've been searching punks like this for years. Yeah, he's Captain McCluskey in The Godfather and Jack D. Ripper in Doctor Strange. Oh, yes, yes. And many other things. What were you going to say, Paul? The cast. You went through. Ripper in Doctor Strange. Oh, yes, yes. And many other things. What were you going to say, Paul?

The cast. You went through some of the cast. Incredible. Robert Shaw, Steve Lawrence. I don't know about either of them. Well, Steve Lawrence plays the ghost of Christmas past, and Pat Hingle plays the ghost of Christmas present with his nine fingers. Robert Shaw must be the ghost of Christmas future.

Robert Shaw is the ghost of Christmas present. Yeah, he had a pinky missing. Yeah. Eva Marie Saint. How about this cast, Gilbert? And Pat Hingle showed up in that Twilight Zone episode where he's kind of like he's an adult, but he's very henpecked by his girlfriend and mother. And he keeps running into his friends who are still kids.

Yeah. Yeah. This was 84 minutes. Like I said, it aired once in 1964, written by Rod Serling, music by Henry Mancini. Wow. Of all people. So it had all this A-list talent, Joseph Mankiewicz,

who made All About Eve. And I heard Henry Mancini is one of those great composers who used to do like like early horror and sci-fi movies yes you mentioned that on the show a couple of times that's interesting yeah look who else is in the cast ben gazzara oh my god so we got to get our hands on this my boy ben gazzara brit ecklund oh pat hingel sterling hayden, Steve Lawrence. I love Steve Lawrence in a dramatic role. Ava Marie, St. Robert Shaw,

and Peter Sellers. Wow. And that's an eclectic cast. We mentioned it once. And most importantly, Rod Serling Jew. Yes. You want to get that in a Christmas title. Do you know Percy Rodriguez? He looks familiar. I don't know Percy Rodriguez. I think he must have been on a Twilight Zone show.

I don't know him from The Great Rupert. Here's another one Gilbert will know. I will. Now that I've stumped him twice. It Happened One Christmas. Do you know it by title? If I tell you who's in it, you'll start to figure it out. Marlo Thomas was the lead.

Wait, was this the remake? It sure was. This was the remake. Of It's a the remake? It sure was. This was the remake. Of It's a Wonderful Life. Of It's a Wonderful Life. And the story I heard with this is she was all set to do it, and she got together with Frank Capra, and she said to him,

I'm going to do a remake of It's a Wonderful Life. Do you have any advice for me? And Frank Capra's advice was, don't do it. Well, interesting you say that because it says after its initial airing 40 years ago this week, by the way, 1977, it premiered December 11th. Yeah. 1977. So it's 40 years old this week. After its initial airing in a New York Times follow-up article, it was revealed that Frank Capra himself,

the director of It's a Wonderful Life, had denounced the remake as plagiaristic. Oh. Yes. Did you mention Orson Welles? Orson Welles was Mr. Potter. Yeah. But they did a sex change.

It's a gender-reversed version of the film. And Mary Bailey Hatch is the lead character. And who shits on the table? I believe Cliff Norton. It's either Cliff Norton or Faye Bainter. I don't know where that came from. Cloris Leachman's character is named Cloris Leachman. Her character is Clara Oddbody.

She was nominated for an Emmy for this, Cloris Leachman. Wow. For Best Supporting Actress in a Drama or Comedy Special. Barney Martin, you know that actor. Oh, yes. He was Gary Seinfeld's father. Yes. Marty on Seinfeld.

Oh, yes. He was Jerry Seinfeld's father. Yes. Marty on Seinfeld. And I remember he was also years ago in like, I think it was a vacuum cleaner commercial. We're getting obscure, Diggs. Have we done an episode on vacuum cleaner commercials? We'll do an all Barney Martin episode. And Richard Dysart is in it.

Oh, my God. Richard Dysart. Richard Dysart is in it? Oh my God. From 20,000 weeks. No, that's Richard Dysart. We've been through this. It's not the Belasco Theater. It's the Belasco Theater. And it wasn't Honey Honey Be My Baby.

Just say knock, knock, knock. I'm getting an embolism Richard Basehart Was the actor on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea That's what I Yes

Richard Dysart Was a totally different dude Who's in being there Well who let both those guys Be coming Also in the cast Paul's hysterical Also in the cast

Wayne Rogers From MASH and Christopher Guest as Harry Bailey. I'm going to assume a very young Christopher Guest. It was broadcast at a time when It's a Wonderful Life rarely aired on television. And as a result, many viewers were unfamiliar with its source material, which is a shame. And as a result, many viewers were unfamiliar with its source material, which is a shame. When the original 46 film returned to the airwaves, the remake slipped into obscurity. Yeah. There you go. And we have talked about it.

It's funny because It's a Wonderful Life seemed to be on like every single Christmas I can remember. Yeah. And now it's on. Now NBC has their clutches on it and they show it on New Year's Eve. But I'm not even sure you can find this anymore. Perhaps it's on

YouTube. Yeah. We'll put that out to our fans. So you did know that one. Yes. You were vaguely

familiar with A Carol for Another Christmas with Ben Gazzara. And that Rod Sterling is a Jew. And that Rod Sterling is a Jew.

Yes. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated.

19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. That's the sound of fried chicken with a spicy history. Thornton Prince was a ladies' man. To get revenge, his girlfriend hid spices in his fried chicken. He loved it so much, he opened Prince's Hot Chicken.

Hot chicken in the window. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. And now back to the show. The great Rupert from Jimmy Durante and George Powell means nothing to you. Susan Slept Here means nothing to you. What about this one?

Oh. This was briefly mentioned when we had our pal Frank Conniff here. This sounds familiar. Now this one ties into a podcast guest. The Christmas That Almost Wasn't. Does this mean anything? The title sounds familiar. It's an Italian-American film.

It's one of those Clint Eastwood films? No, it's not a spaghetti western. It starred Rossano Brozzi and Paul Tripp. Paul Tripp was a local kiddie show host of a show called Birthday House. Okay. This doesn't mean anything to you. Was it directed by the guy who did Zombie? Yes, the same guy.

It was directed, actually, by Rossano Brozzi himself. Wow. And written by Paul Piccolo. The Italian title is Il Nadale Che Qua No Vu. Does that mean anything? No. Which means? No.

The title almost meant something to me. Okay. Misha Auer is in it. Oh. And look who plays Mr. Prim, Sonny Fox. Oh, wow.

How about that? See? That's why I brought it up. So it's not a 100% fucking Guinea production. No. There's one. One Jew turns up.

Which was the original title. One Jew turns up. This show does a lot for diversity, don't you think? It really does. We're going to do our 200th show from the UN. The classic Christmas movie. It's about the... One Jew shows up.

I got the wrong address. Yeah. That's hilarious. Who plays the one Jew? Is it you? I guess Phil Leeds. Phil Leeds. We lost Phil.

It's about the cancellation of Christmas. An evil man, Phineas T. Prune. Phineas T. Prune. Apparently Santa owes Phineas T. Prune money, owes him rent on the North Pole, and he forecloses, and Santa has to get a job at a department store. Or who is the one in West Side Story? Who's the Jew in West Side Story? Who's the Jew in West Side Story?

Who's the candy store? I guess he was. Oh, Ned Glass? Ned Glass. Ned Glass is the Jew who turns up. Okay. Here's a Christmas movie I know because you're in it yes this is the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

what do you have to tell us about this I think I recorded it and my wife was played by Carol Kane okay and this yeah there was the Billy and Mandy show and it's all like a horror episode with Santa, who's basically like a vampire.

So she plays, so Carol, our friend Carol Kane, who we've tried to book on this show, what now, Frank? Seven times, eight times? We're getting closer. She has told me that she really wants to do it. We're getting closer. Then we didn't hear it. Then she came back, and we worked together again. And she said, here, add my email when you send it so they know.

Okay. And then she blew us off. All right. So we're going to get people to mail Carol Kane. Send your cards and letters to Carol Kane and beg her to do this show. Yeah, that was a fun one to do. Santa Claus is the immortal man behind the spirit of Christmas. His predicament is he's been attacked and bitten by a vampire.

He is voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. So there you go. And I assume at the end he returns to his mortal form and his jolly self. I know it. I think at one point they have him chained up. And then, of course, there was Buddy the Elf, My Two Christmas. That's right. Billy and Mandy and Buddy the Elf.

Okay. Hey, is what happened with Carol Kane the same as when you meet a girl and she gives you, like, the wrong phone number? I think so. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think so. That's 1-800. Okay.

Do you want to hear about this 1959 Mexican fantasy film called Santa Claus, directed by Rene Cardona. Oh. And co-written by Adolfo Torres Portillo. Yes, I have that in my collection. This has been spoofed on Mystery Science Theater. This is supposedly a terrible, terrible, listen to this plot. Santa works in outer space and does battle with a demon sent to Earth by Lucifer himself

to ruin Christmas by killing Santa and making all children of the Earth do evil. Do evil. Let's do evil. Do evil. I love this review

that I read of it on a website. They called it a Mexican fever dream of a kid's idea of a Christmas movie made by people who clearly hate children. So we could talk to Frank Conniff about that one. How are we doing on time, Frank?

Where am I? You're doing great. Am I at 20? Let me see. I got one, two more for Gilbert. Can't get an accurate read here. Okay. How about Pocket Full of Miracles, Gilbert?

That was Betty Davis. Hey. Yeah. And who directed it? Oh. The Little Sicilian. The man you mentioned before. Capra.

Frank Capra. It's a remake of Capra's earlier film, Lady for a Day. Does this have anything to do with the song, Pocket Full of Miracles? The song is from the movie. Is it from the movie? Yeah, Capra himself hated the film. Didn't Sinatra have a hit with that song? It must have been later.

I'm not sure about that. Well, Sinatra had a hit with Hole in the Head, with High Hopes, rather, which was from the movie Hole in the Head, which he also made with Capra. This is Capra's last film. And if you read his autobiography, which is great, called The Name Above the Title, you can hear the sad tale of what happens to a great director in his supposed golden years. He had a terrible time making this movie. He cast Sinatra as Dave the Dude, the lead, but Sinatra walked out

due to disagreements about the script. He then tried to cast Kirk Douglas, Dean Martin, and Jackie Gleason. Wow. To no avail. It's a Damon Runyon story about a lovable gangster. Yeah. He winds up with Glenn Ford. Oh. In the lead. Because he was always funny. Yeah.

And a charismatic lead. But it has a great cast. Mike mazurki turns up wow barton mclean yeah uh sheldon leonard okay barton mclean uh friendly witness well he was more than just a friendly yeah he was uh he was turning people in he was a red hunter. And hated the Jews. Yes. You want to get that in. Yes. Peter Fox in it. He's very good in it. Edward Everett Horton. Anne Margaret. A very young

Anne Margaret playing Betty Davis' daughter. When was the movie? 1961. It's Capra's song. In 1962 the song Pocket Full of Miracles according to Wikipedia was sung by Frank Sinatra Jr. Oh. How old would he have been in 1962?

Wow. Pretty young. Young. Yeah. Young. Jerome Cowan, better known as, I think, the prosecuting attorney in Miracle on 34th Street. Arthur O'Connell, you know that actor, Gilbert? You know that actor Gilbert?

Arthur O'Connell is one of those actors who, you know how there's those actors like Gig Young and Richard Long? Oh, that you mistake for someone else? Arthur O'Connell always looked like Frank Ferguson. Frank Ferguson. And a little bit like Jack Albertson. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. Who did Gig Young look like?

He looked like this actor richard long oh yes who who uh who died young from nanny and the professor uh yeah and he was in that twilight zone episode correct and when i watch that twilight zone episode where he's like a mad doctor i i always wonder if that's where michael myers was watching that and got like the uh dr evil because oh richard long is holding his pinky to his mouth how interesting i always heard it was a lauren michaels impression dr yeah no it was definitely lauren michaels the voice but the pinky to the mouth. All right. You see Richard Long doing it. Well, look that up.

What was the Twilight Zone episode? It was a mad doctor, you said? Richard Long. Yeah, you look it up. Look it up. We got about two minutes left. I'm going to knock these two out. One of them involves a Gilbert Gottfried podcast guest.

These are two horror Christmas movies or Christmas horror movies. Elves. Are you familiar with a movie called Elves? Oh, vaguely, yes. I'll bet our buddy McPadden would know this one. In fact, the two people who had similar voices, Lorne Michaels and Norman Mailer, both had those type of talking in her life.

Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You almost sounded like Jack Hawkins there. Yeah. Oh, yes. It was falling into an Alfred Hitchcock. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You almost sounded like Jack Hawkins there. Yeah. You almost sounded like a freak. Oh, yes. It was falling into an Alfred Hitchcock, too.

A little bit. Your Hitchcock story, by the way, of Pat McCormick. That was the highlight of the Billy Saluga episode. Okay, quickly. Elves, I'll give you the plot. A Nazi doctor obsessed with eugenics. It's like the Christmas version of Boys from Brazil. Decides to create a hybrid race of elves who terrorize a small town during Christmas.

And the only one who can save the day is Mike McGavin, a renegade Santa Claus played by TV's Grizzly Adams. Oh, my God. So you got to rent that. Wow. I have to own that one. But this one takes the cake. And then we'll go out on this. The Ginger Dead Man.

Are you familiar with the Ginger Dead Man? No. Nope. Gary Busey. Former podcast guest, Gary Busey, as a convicted killer named Millard Findelmeyer. It's hard to believe him as a crazy person.

Yes. Listen to this. He's sent to the electric chair only to return as a gingerbread man cookie. Oh, my God. With a vengeance. Yes, Gary Busey played a homicidal gingerbread man. So there you go. So happy holidays.

Twilight Zone episode is called Person or Person's Unknown. Oh, yeah. David Gurney wakes up to another ordinary day, except today nobody knows who he is. There you go. No, I don't think so. But he looks like Gig Young. Yeah, he does look like Gig Young. Well, Gig Young might have.

He could have looked like multiple people. No, there was one like pick one, like something like pick one your size or number two looks like you or something. I think that's the title. Yeah. Number two looks like you. Yeah. He must have been more than one though, but he sure looks like Gig Young.

I'm running out of time Rayburn. I gotta go. Wait a minute. We gotta find this other Twilight Zone episode. I gotta sign off. While we're rapping.

Maybe he'll rap slowly. Yeah. Really slowly and you could look it up. Yeah. I'll talk for the next ten years. I don't think I want

to hear Gilbert rap at all. He doesn't want to hear Gilbert rap. That's it for... Gil, I stumped you. Number 12 looks just like you. Number 12 looks just like you. That's it. That's it.

That's it. Okay, that's the one. By the way, I stumped you was also the catchphrase for... Who was it? Tony Fields. Now, is... Never mind. Is Gig Young the doctor in that?

Not Gig Young. Richard Long the doctor. Oh, my God. Richard Long is in this one, too. Yeah, okay. That's right. All right. Richard Long came to an early end, and Gig Young came to a bad end.

Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas. Yes, yeah. Gig Young killed his wife and then himself. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, that's it. Happy holidays. yes yeah Gig Young killed his wife and then himself yeah okay okay well that's it happy holidays

just like a Perry Como special these shows are so tightly scripted do you think people appreciate how much work goes into fine tuning every word

is considered oh my god happy holidays everybody okay Gilbert and Frank it's an amazing colossal obsession. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Colossal Obsessions

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