Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #145: Gilbert Sings!

Episode Date: January 4, 2018

Gilbert does Karloff (and Anthony Newley)! Remembering Thelma Ritter! Darlene Love backs up Lon Chaney Jr! And Paul Lynde covers The 5th Dimension! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm.../adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:58 visit connectsontario.ca. Hi, this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions. I'm Gilbert Gottfried and I'm here with Frank Santopadre. You woke him up, Frank. I am definitely going to experience hearing loss from this show. Colossal obsessions. It's an occupational hazard, like someone who works with an airbrush or a high-pitched machinery. Every time Gilbert speaks, the EPA issues a violation. Yeah, something's going on.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Oh, Gil, how are you? Ah. Do you feel like doing a little singing? Well, if I have to. Do you have a song in your heart? Oh, yes, always. We do these episodes that we have on Patreon. Our friends at Patreon pay us a little tiny little, what would you call it?
Starting point is 00:02:08 A pittance. A pittance. An honorarium. Just to hear you sing. Yes. I mean, did you ever, with all the success that you've experienced in your career, did you ever think people would pay money out of their pocket? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:02:21 To hear you murder beloved hits. A lot of people pay only once Whereas the people who are sitting next to him really pay And for $20 more he won't sing That's it Well that's like the old Chico Marx pick It's from Animal Crackers Yeah you see if we don't rehearse we don't play
Starting point is 00:02:41 And if we don't play. And if we don't play, that runs into money. So, we have a couple of things this week that I thought we would play around with. Listener Tom Brennan wants to hear. His request is a Jerry Goffin, a Carole King song. Paul is already flinching. I'll have you know this was the number one song in the country the day that I came into the world, the day that I was born. You remember that. I just know it.
Starting point is 00:03:19 No, I know it because I research this kind of shit. And one day I thought, well, I wonder what the number one song was, the Billboard song, the day I was born. And then I found out from my family members and all my friends. It's kind of a fun thing. We should all know that, actually. If you give me your birth date, it's my special power, like Mary Lou Henner. She can tell you the date on the calendar. But, yes, the day I was born, this song, and it's always had a special place for me, until today.
Starting point is 00:03:49 This will be the last time you hear this song. Yes, and this is Will You Love Me Tomorrow, made famous by the Shirelles, written by Carole King. Gil, I know you know it. Ah, yes. It's notable for being the first song by a black all-girl group to reach number one. Wow. Did you know that, sir? And the lead singer, Shirley Owens, did not want to record it because she thought it was too country.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Ah. Too country. Too country. Isn't that interesting? Well, you still love me. And it is ranked as number 126 among Rolling Stone's list of the 500 greatest songs of all time. It should definitely be there. And after Gilbert favors us with his rendition. Do we have it?
Starting point is 00:04:33 We just happen to have the lyric sheet right here. We just happen to have it. You are rolling. Cliff note breath. Yes. Tonight you're mine. Wait a minute. We have music. Yes. Tonight you're mine. Wait a minute. We have music.
Starting point is 00:04:47 What key would you like it in, Gilbert? What key would he like it in? The usual key. And the key of screech. Yes. Here we go. All right. Give him an intro.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Tonight you're mine. Came in the right place Completely A little faster You give your love So sweetly Tonight The light Of love is in your eyes.
Starting point is 00:05:26 But will you still love me tomorrow? Is it a lasting treasure? Or just a moment's pleasure? Can I believe the magic in your size? Will you still love me tomorrow? Tonight with words unspoken You say that I'm the only one But will my heart be broken
Starting point is 00:06:20 When the night meets the morning sun How about Anthony Newley? I'd like to know that your love is a love that I could be sold off. So tell me now. And I won't ask again. Will you still love me tomorrow? Tomorrow. There's only seven minutes left. Oh, beautiful.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Beautiful. A tear fell from my eye. You know what's great? I hear them in my phones, but I'm also sitting six inches away from them. So I hear it also outside the phones. What I thought was great is you took your headphones off to avoid the loudness. It got worse. It's just worse. It got worse when I took the phones. What I thought was great is you took your headphones off to avoid the loudness. It got worse. It's just worse. It got worse
Starting point is 00:07:26 when I took the phones off. Well, I'll have to get Joan Collins on the show so I can do my Anthony Newley. That's right. She was married to Anthony Newley. That rendition was notable because at least three times Gilbert fell behind and he caught up again.
Starting point is 00:07:41 He caught up. Gilbert, that was impressive. That's one of my talents. Not many people can do that. The song was covered by the great Dusty Springfield on A Girl Called Dusty. Gilbert, you'll appreciate this. Little Eva. Little Eva. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Little Eva. She was Carol King's babysitter. That's right. Yeah. And her big number was? Oh, The Locomotion. The Loc the locomotive he sang it and yeah and she said that i think she said she wanted to be a singer so carol king wrote the locomotive for her locomotion locomotion which i believe you sang with ron dante oh probably yes that's right yes
Starting point is 00:08:23 you did same because we were talking about brill Brill Building and all of that old stuff. So this song was covered twice, and now we can say it's buried. Yes. That one should be covered. Cher released a version on her 1966 album called Cher. Jackie Deshanon. What was Jackie Deshanon famous for, Gilbert? Jackie Deshanon.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Think of your fellow man. Oh, oh, oh. Think of your fellow man. Oh, my God. Put a little love in your helping hand. Put a little love in your heart. That's it. Very good. And the world will be a better place.
Starting point is 00:09:06 The Four Seasons, Roberta Flack and Linda Ronstadt all covered this song. Oh, wow. How about that? Now a little podcast trivia. Okay. This is fun. Bertel Dash, a black demo singer for the Brill Building songwriters, recorded an answer song. Remember, we talked about what answer songs were?
Starting point is 00:09:21 Oh, yeah. Answer songs were songs that were recorded to answer the question that was posed by the other song by the other single and it was called yeah yeah it was called not just tomorrow but always it has erroneously been claimed by some historians that dash oray, was a pseudonym for epic recording artist Tony Orlando. Erroneous, though. It says here, according to Wikipedia, which we know is completely unreliable, Tony Orlando, whose recording of the original song had not been released, as Don Kirshner thought the lyric was convincing only as sung by a woman. So the next time we get Tony in here, we have to ask him about that.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I just thought that was a fun coincidence that a fan picked this song and it was connected to Tony Orlando. And Tony Orlando's father is buried in a Jewish cemetery. Yes, we have established. As we have established on numerous occasions. And I think they used to call him Ladle or something like that. They called him Label. Label.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Label, because he was in the garment business. Yes. Yeah. Label. Label. Yeah. We got to get Tony Orlando back. Oh, he was terrific.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah. We got to do like a greatest hits month. Yes. Where I think we just, what do you think of that idea, Paul? Why am I asking you? Let me look it up. Outside Harvey Korman. Why am I asking you? Let me look it up. I'm Harvey Korman. Why am I asking you?
Starting point is 00:10:49 We just get like Billy West and Tony and some of the people who've been great on this show. Mark Hudson. Oh, yeah. Bring him back. Mark Hudson. Here's one that Paul Rayburn will love because this is Paul Rayburn's favorite songwriter. Now, was it Mark Hudson who gave us that story, we can't say the actual answer.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yes, it is. She would wipe her ass with wet naps and then toss it in the shower stall of her trailer. We can't say who it was. Who was that? You've also got the wrong podcast guest. That was Dana Gould. Oh, that was Dana Gould who said it. But we'll never tell. But Mark Hudson had one of those, didn't he?
Starting point is 00:11:25 Yeah. Sylvia Sidney is the answer to the actress was. Was Agnes Moorhead. Lillian Gish. Bea Benederick. Dame Edith Evans. You guys can keep going forever. Ruth McDivitt. Look that one up.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Alright, Gilbert. Wait, I'm trying to remember an actress's name. Oh, God. She was in Boeing Boeing. Oh, my God. How about Margaret Dumont? No, she was in everything. Rita Shaw?
Starting point is 00:11:59 No. Kathleen Freeman? No, she was in that school, though. She was in the Louis Stock Company? She was always playing like the tough talking broad. Not Mary Wicks. No, no. Oh, Christ.
Starting point is 00:12:16 The only person who'll look it up is Paul. Well, how the hell am I going to look it up? Look up Boeing, Boeing. The Jerry Lewis movie. God damn it. He'll have this in five years from now. No, you'll Lewis movie. God damn it. He'll have this in five years from now. No, you'll get it. I'm confident.
Starting point is 00:12:29 If we're lucky. I'm confident. No, I will have it. Rita something? Rita Shaw. Susanna Lee. No. Thelma Ritter.
Starting point is 00:12:38 Thelma Ritter. Thelma Ritter. That's it. I'll have it in five minutes. Do I get a promotion? Yes. All's quick. Thelma Ritter from Rear Window.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Yes. Thelma Ritter from Rear Window. Yes. Thelma Ritter, that's right. Yeah. Okay. You feel better? Yes. Okay. You want to do another song?
Starting point is 00:12:50 Can we move on? Oh, sure. Here we go. This is written. This is a hit song. Oh, we have to get on. What's her name? Oh, her.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Her. Marilyn McCoo? Marilyn McCoo. How did I know who you were thinking of? How did you do that? I don't know. It's gotten to that point. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I just pulled a name out of the air. No, I'm holding the fifth. It's like a miserable married couple. I'm holding the fifth dimension in my hand. This is a song, a hit song for the fifth dimension. 1967 written by another former podcast guest, the great Jimmy Webb. Wow. And this was requested by Kelly M. Kelly M.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Don't tell me. What Jimmy Webb's fifth dimension? She or he, Kelly, has so much respect for Jimmy Webb that they want you. They paid money to hear you mangle Jimmy Webb once again. Yes. Okay, I know what this was. Not the song. Just mangle Jimmy Webb. This was written by Jimmy, recorded by the Fifth Dimension.
Starting point is 00:13:53 This was one of his first hits. Yes, it went to number seven in July of 1967 on the U.S. singles chart. It is called by Wikipedia a canonical, C-A-N-O-N-I-C-A-L. Canonical? That's easy for you to say. Canonical? Easy for you. Geez, Mr. Canonical.
Starting point is 00:14:10 A canonical example of sunshine pop. Are you familiar with that? Sunshine pop. Is that a genre? Oh, that's perfect. I'm walking on sunshine. Is that a genre? Sunshine pop.
Starting point is 00:14:19 You know, I would like to go back in time and buy up the rights to Walking on Sunshine. Oh, it's used in every season. Oh, yes. In every movie trailer. Yeah. From elevators to movies. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. For those who embrace the impossible, the Defender 110 is up for the adventure. This iconic, award-winning vehicle has been redefined with a distinctive, modern design. A reimagined exterior features compelling proportions and precise detailing.
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Starting point is 00:15:16 Absolutely. Yeah, they got a lot of mileage out of that. And could somebody pass a law that if a character's about to have sex, you can't play the Hallelujah Chorus. Okay. How about that thing in movie trailers where they pull the needle off their record to change the tempo of the comedy? So in these movies, and I think in the 80s, mostly the 80s, maybe the 90s, romantic comedies and that, the last song over the credits in every one of those was sung by... In what? In who said, like, this guy was like, did the last song over the credits at the end of like every rom-com for decades.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Oh, boy. You got me. You just see it. Van Morrison. Was it Van Morrison? He was on me. You just see it. Van Morrison. Was it Van Morrison? He was on a million of those. I like Van Morrison. I like Van Morrison, too,
Starting point is 00:16:09 but he would be, you know, just pop up at the end of, you know, for a period of time. I did not know that. That's right. He wouldn't sing or play music. He would just be there. Show up in a T-shirt waving.
Starting point is 00:16:21 The instrumental backing on this wonderful song was performed, Paul would appreciate this, by members of the Wrecking Crew. The Wrecking Crew. We talk about the Wrecking Crew all the time. I've got to see that documentary you mentioned.
Starting point is 00:16:28 It's wonderful. I have it on Blu-ray. I'll give it to you. Including guitarist Al Casey and drummer Hal Blaine, who, damn it, I'm going to get on this show if it kills me. Okay, Gil. Yes. Frankie, Maestro.
Starting point is 00:16:41 We apologize to Jimmy in advance. Same key before. Same key, yeah. in advance Same key before Same key yeah Yes Would you like to ride In my beautiful Balloon Would you like to ride
Starting point is 00:17:02 In my beautiful Balloon We could float among the stars You're behind Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon? We could float among the stars together, you and I. Before we can fly. Up, up and away. My beautiful, my beautiful balloon. The world's a night of blades in my beautiful balloon. It wears a night of fades in my beautiful balloon. Okay, Jerry.
Starting point is 00:18:06 Go high. Suspended under a twilight canopy. We'll search the clouds for a star to guide us. If by some chance you find yourself loving me. We'll find a cloud to hide us. We'll keep the moon beside us. Love is right there. In my beautiful balloon. How about some Paul Lynn?
Starting point is 00:18:36 Way, way up in the air. In my beautiful, if you hold my hand, we'll chase your dreams. I, how we can fly. Up and away. And my beautiful. He cracked himself up. He cracked himself up. Oh, my balloon.
Starting point is 00:19:10 All right. We're all going to... Oh, thank you, Frank. You can take that down. The breath control in there was magnificent. Oh, it was beautiful. His phrasing. I think he's known for his phrasing.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Like Sinatra. I have some interesting little trivia here. Hit me. You mentioned Sunshine Pop. Yeah. So what song am I thinking of? In 1967, same year as Up, Up and Away. Sunshine Pop.
Starting point is 00:19:33 One of the great Sunshine Pop bands, according to Wikipedia. Oh. And the band, they were from, where is Delavan, New York? Delavan, New York. I don't know. Give me another hint. Well, I'll tell you the name of the band and you tell me the name of the song. The band is The Free Design.
Starting point is 00:19:49 You got me. Free Design? I thought I heard of every pop band from the 70s. The song was Kites. Do you remember Kites Are Fun? I know Go Fly a Kite. That's from Mary Poppins. No, Kites are fun.
Starting point is 00:20:05 It's a great... Well, now, do they break down what songs would be considered sunshine pop? Well, they don't. What's the difference between sunshine pop and bubblegum pop? Hmm. That's good. Well, that's a good question. Like Hitchin' a Ride by Vanity Fair.
Starting point is 00:20:18 You know that song? Work on the next one. The sun goes up, a car goes by. Won't somebody stop and help a guy hitching a ride? Would that be Bubblegum? Would that be Sunshine? Or Beautiful Sunday by Daniel Boone, a song I love. Scholars have puzzled over this.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I think there are some records in the London. Future episode. To be determined in a future episode. This song, Jimmy Webb's wonderful song, which was just massacred by my partner, was sung by the Johnny Man Singers. Do you remember the Johnny Man Singers, Gilbert? Oh, wow. Bing Crosby recorded it for his 68
Starting point is 00:20:55 album Thoroughly Modern Bing. Oh, jeez. Oh, there's another case of the older singer is trying to be hip. Diana Ross and the Supremes recorded it for their album Reflections. Dionne Warwick is on her Valley of the Dolls album. The Sunshine Company on their 67 debut album, Happy is the Sunshine Company. That's got to be Sunshine Pop.
Starting point is 00:21:18 It's got to be. Nancy Sinatra, Andy Williams, and last but not least, Gilbert, Mrs. Miller. Oh, from Merv Griffin? I hope it's the same Mrs. Miller. We'll put that out to our fans. It was also featured in a 1968 episode of Petticoat Junction. And did the Mike Curb congregation have... I love the Mike Curb congregation.
Starting point is 00:21:41 I know they had their one hit. Burning Bridges from Kelly's Heroes. Oh. Yeah. See, I remember they also had Gingerbread Man. That's right. But Burning Bridges was the one. All the burning bridges that are falling next to me.
Starting point is 00:21:59 That one from Kelly's Heroes, which is a great track. It's kind of a bubblegum song. Yeah. But, you know. I mean, this Sunshine Pop is crazy. We've stumbled onto something here. Okay. Somebody says Beach Boys, The Association.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Oh, The Association. The Mamas and the Papas. Windy. Windy. Yeah. Anyway, we've discovered something I think that's long been buried and perhaps should have remained so. Well, maybe we will do a future music.
Starting point is 00:22:22 We haven't done too many music episodes, and we haven't done the What Hit Wonders in a long time because we were going to do them live. They were the three that Frank lost. And I recently found the email. Yes, he did. And it led me to a Dropbox that was still active that had eight and a half minutes of video from that night and really unusable audio files.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Frank wanted people to know that he had nothing to do with it. So he posted a Facebook post. He reposted it saying, good luck tonight. I can't be there. And yet. He's still blamed. And let's say that OJ still denies. Okay, Gil.
Starting point is 00:23:04 If the tape don't fit, you must have quit. We got one more song for you, and I think you're going to enjoy this one. Oh, okay. Because you get to do one of your impressions. Oh, jeez. This was recommended by fan Lucas Matarazzo. I hope I'm saying that right. And this is a 1962 novelty song released as a single on Gary S. Paxton's Garpax Records.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Oh, who didn't have Garpax Records? They were big. It was a number one single on the Billboard Hot Chart of October 20 to 27th of that year, just before Halloween. I think you can figure out. 1962? 1962. A novelty single that went to number one. I think you can figure out. 1962? 1962. A novelty single that went to number one.
Starting point is 00:23:49 It was a smash. It was a graveyard smash. According to this, Leon Russell played on this song. Oh, jeez. Can you wrap your mind around that? I hope it's right. Gilbert's going to take a shot at this, and he can do his wonderful, his wonderful, you can get two impressions in this one.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Oh, what's the other one? Because there's a line. Of course, his kites are fun by the free design, right? Yes. Uh, I think this line. Which one? Is done as a different, as a different actor. Would that be Lugosi?
Starting point is 00:24:24 It would be. Yes. Yes. Okay, Frankie, we're going to try this. This is right up a different actor. Would that be Lugosi? It would be. Yes. Yes. Okay, Frankie, we're going to try this. This is right up Gilbert's alley. And then we'll do a little trivia about the song afterward. I just happen to have the lyrics here. What do we think?
Starting point is 00:24:38 Now, it's nice and slow. I think you can stay on, what is it called, measure? In measure? In measure? On measure? On the beat. On the beat. All right, buckle up. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:24:57 That is Matt Gilbert. Working in the lab late one night When my eyes beheld an eerie sight For my monster from his lab began to roar And suddenly to my surprise He did the monster man He's catching up It was a graveyard smash. For Dawn in a flash.
Starting point is 00:25:30 He did the monster man. From my love for Dory in the castle east. To the master bedroom. Where vampires meet. To ghouls all came. Their humble abode. To jump from my on their coats. They did the monster mash.
Starting point is 00:25:49 He catches up on every chord. It was a graveyard smash. It caught on in a flash. They did the monster mash. Zombies were having fun. The party had just begun. The guests included Wolfman, Dracula, and his son. The scene was rocking on, taking the sound.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Igor on chain, backfiring. It's going to echo. With the vocal group, the Crypt Ticker Five. The Crypt Ticker Five. The match. It was a high-dose match. It caught on in a flash. He played the monster match.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Out of his coffin-drapped, hoisted ring It seemed a trouble-closet thing He opened the lid and shook his fist And said, What happened to my tantal-benya twist? It was the Monster Mash Old Smash Now the mash.
Starting point is 00:27:06 It's now the mash. It caught on in a flash. Now everything's cool. Who's got a part of the mash? And the monster mash. It's in the mash. Oh, you're living. He doesn't do fash. It's in the mash.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Take it to the monster mash. The monster mash. And do my big dog sing. Then you do the monster. You know, people don't know this. This is a real interesting trivia point. That was actually the Supremes singing the backup. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Nope, people don't know that oh that's i did hear something like no he's pulling your chain wasn't there like some famous group on something i don't know that's interesting there was well boris pickett bobby boris pickett's according to this uh the crypt kicker five were Gary S. Paxton, pianist Leon Russell, I hope the hell that's true because that's great trivia, Terry Berg, Ricky Page, Johnny McRae. Those were the Crypt Kickers.
Starting point is 00:28:14 And the song was partially inspired by Paxton's earlier novelty hit Alley Oop. Alley Oop. You know what that always reminds me of is Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Pokeduck Bikini. That was Brian Hyland. And Boris Karloff was a fan of this song. He was alive.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah. He liked the song, but he thought that Pickett sounded nothing like him. Is that true? Yes. Didn't we ask Sarah about this song when we had Sarah Karloff on? I think she said he liked it. We must have. Yeah, that was fun, Gil.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Had you ever sung that in those voices in your life? No. You're working hard. That was great. Now, listen to this. A Christmas-themed follow-up, Monsters Holiday, which we'll also play, backed with Monster Motion, was also released in 62, and that reached 30, number 30 on the charts in December.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Blood Bank Blues. And the B-side was Me and My Mummy Did Not Chart. Oh, wait a second. There was a song which sounded very much like Monster Mash that Lon Chaney Jr. sang seriously yeah not werewolf watusi no no there was one that lon chaney sang it and it sounded it was so obviously a ripoff of months do you want to look up Lon Chaney novelty song, Paul? Oh, nice. Gilbert. Now, I know he sang the song to Spider Baby. Yes, Spider Baby.
Starting point is 00:29:51 But this was a separate one. You think it was a single that he released? It was a single. And it was an obvious rip-off of Monster Mash. Wow. I have some trivia here. In 1977, Vincent Price issued a version in the UK on EMI Records. Did you find that? Oh, here's the Cheney. That is a total ripoff. They were making a list.
Starting point is 00:30:50 That's Lon Chaney Jr., Christmas 1964. So Lon Chaney Jr. covered Monster's Holiday? Yes. That was already done by Bobby Boris Pickett? We've got to get the chronology of this. Yeah. Because Pickett's song, Pickett's version of Monster's Holiday, which was the Christmas follow-up to Monster Mash, was released in 62. And Chaney died when?
Starting point is 00:31:09 Not long after. Yeah. And, I mean, he sounds so healthy in this song. According to this, and it could be bullshit, the backing singers for the record were the Blossoms, led by Darlene Love. Oh, so it was someone. Maybe that's the one you were thinking about. Well, if I see Darlene Love on The View in the next couple of weeks, because we book her every year for Christmas, I'm going to bring up the goddamn Monster Mash.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Now, listening to Cheney's voice, could you tell he drank? What do you know about Bobby Boris Pickett? I think he used to like to joke around and do imitations. Yeah. And then this was just like kind of fucking around in the studio. Yeah, from Massachusetts and died fairly young. He was only 69 when he died. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Best known for co-writing and performing in 1962. But apparently he incorporated impressions um in a nightclub act he had a hollywood nightclub act in the 50s which i didn't know how about that yeah interesting and i guess dr demento helped make this song popular oh yeah which actually makes sense um what do you got paul anything i haven't got what you're looking for, but Lon Chaney's last recordings, he made an album called The Wolfman Speaks. We've got to get that. Wow. The Wolfman Speaks, and some of their tunes are October Night, In the Graveyard, The Little Red Knife, The Rumpus Room.
Starting point is 00:32:39 That sounds great. We've got to get our hands on that. Okay, so that wraps another edition of Gilbert Sings. Yes. A show that is a misnomer. The title is a misnomer if ever there was one. Has that show charted? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Oh, well, you see, the viewers, the listeners, they're people after your own heart, Gilbert. They know to get you to sing the Monster Mash. You know, I have an idea. Why don't we set up a keyboard for Gilbert? Yeah. Next opportunity. Not plug it in? If he can sing, he can play the keyboard.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Yes. Have you ever tried to play an instrument? You know, I think when I was really little, my parents got me piano lessons, which I don't remember. You don't remember it? I don't remember it. I took piano lessons for nine years. Yeah. The old musician's joke on this thing is, you know, do you know how to play the saxophone?
Starting point is 00:33:37 The answer is, I don't know. I never tried. Right. He plays the Jew's harp. We'll go out with a little Bobby Boris picket Christmas music. Oh, let's go out on the Lon Chaney Monster Run. Okay, Frankie. You got your marching orders.
Starting point is 00:33:54 You want to take us out of this? Oh, this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession. See you next time. And I ship for Christmas and all through the castle. My monsters were having a yuletide hassle. The tree was all trimmed in foolish things
Starting point is 00:34:12 like wolfman fangs and vampire wings. It was a monster's holiday. But they were up to no good. It was a monster's holiday. Didn't act like good monsters, sure. It was a monster's holiday.
Starting point is 00:34:25 They found themselves a new prey. It was a monster's holiday. Didn't act like good monsters, sure. It was a monster's holiday. They found themselves a new prey. It was a monster's holiday. They planned to rob Santa's slave. They were making a list and checking it twice. Frankenstein wanted a shiny new tribe. A new chain for Janice, a brace for Inger's back. A shaver for the wolfman, a new cape for Drac. It was a monster's holiday. They were up to no good. A chafer for the wolfman, a new cape for Drax.
Starting point is 00:34:45 It was a monsters holiday. They were up to no good. It was a monsters holiday. They act like good monsters. It was a monsters holiday. They found themselves a new prey. It was a monsters holiday. They planned to rob Santa's sleigh.
Starting point is 00:35:01 The mummy was to signal from the castle roof. At the very first sound of a reindeer's hoof That Santa slipped down the chimney wall The zombies were to make off with slaying all For beyond the moat there rose such a clatter I jumped to the window to see what was the matter Like a bolt of lightning it happened so quick There in our midst stood old Saint Nick See what was the matter? Like a bolt of lightning, it happened so quick.
Starting point is 00:35:28 There in our midst stood old Saint Nick. It was a monster's holiday. But they were up to no good. It was a monster's holiday. And that didn't act like good monsters should. It was a monster's holiday. They found themselves a new prey. It was a monster's holiday. They planned to rob Santa's sleigh.
Starting point is 00:35:43 But he began to dig down deep in his sack, and came up with the tracksuit for Igor's back. Dragged out his cape, Frankie promised to behave, and the wolfman was happy, now he can shave. It was a monster's holiday, and all ended well. It was a monster's holiday Santa was really swell It was a monster's holiday No need to rob Santa's son It was a monster's holiday Maybe next year he'll come back Now you monster
Starting point is 00:36:15 What do you think of Santa? Wasn't he great? Remember he's the one you want to debate He brought you happiness and cheer And wished you a Merry christmas and a happy new year wait a minute mommy what did you think of sad rummy dunn told me when i was in bandage that he was the greatest yes he was the greatest and a merry christmas to everybody He was the greatest.
Starting point is 00:36:44 And a Merry Christmas to everybody. And you remember, there's going to be a full moon. Yeah, a moon.

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