Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #148: Actors Who Directed ONCE

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

This week: In praise of Richard Widmark! In search of Tuesday Weld! Boris Badenov directs! And Gary Cooper turns down "Night of the Hunter"! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This is where the DJ talks. Don't say anything. Hey, I'm Dave Thomas. You're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Cod Pass. Codpiece. It's Amazing Colossal Codpiece.

All right, let me try that again. Hi, I'm Dave Thomas. You're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Colossal Amazing Podcast. Is it? It's Amazing Colossal Podcast. One more time. Hi, I'm Dave Thomas. You're listening to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast. Perfect.

Yes. Fantastic. okay uh this is gilbert and frank's amazing colossal obsessions once again recording at nutmeg with our engineer frank vertor. You didn't even identify yourself. Yeah, and I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my companion. Frank's central pod. Unknown companion. Yes. Longtime companion.

His male companion. Yeah. I'm just grateful that this podcast has helped make me just famous enough that if the two of us die in a car accident, that the headline in the post doesn't say, Comedian Gilbert Gottfried, an unknown companion. Unknown passenger. Which is one of my greatest fears. So thank you for that, Gil.

I'll always owe you that. By the way, someone approached me today and told me they were a big fan of yours and that their father was a big fan of yours, which is mind-blowing. And that was Sammy Davis. Bill Bojangles Robinson. It was a famous person person but I'll tell you I'll tell you off mic who it was

this is producer of the month suggested by one of our listeners Ray Gustini yes he's one of mine before you make a crack G-U-S-T-I-N-E could be Justini but then it would have an I

before the U Ray Gustini says he wants to be producer of the month for the month of January and he could be justini but then it would have an i in the before the u ray gustini says he wants to be produced for the month for the for the month of january and he came up with a very interesting premise he said why don't you guys do a show and try to stump gilbert actors who only directed one movie ah what do you think of that premise okay i'm not wheels sure his wheels are turning Paul I sent you an email about it so you might know

right you might know a few okay we're gonna see how many you know starting I'm gonna do them chronologically

and if we run out of time we'll do more on a future episode but like didn't Nicholson do the sequel he did to Chinatown

I think he directed more than once he did the two Jakes. Oh, and he did that one with John Travolta. Not John Travolta, but John Belushi. He did the Western, Going South. Yeah, yeah. So that's two, at least two.

He did another one called Drive, He Said. Oh, yes. So that's three for Nicholson. Bruce Dern was in that. Right. But these are actors that are maybe a little less known than somebody like Jack Nicholson. We'll start with this. The Lost One from 1951. Peter Lorre? Look at you.

Son of a bitch. It's much more fun when he guesses it than when I sit here talking to myself. He directed that in Germany. He did in West Germany. Yeah. And they said Laurie was, you know, he was a talented guy, but a horrible businessman. Was he? Yeah.

What kind of director was he? I think, I don't know what they thought of his directing, but they said he lost a lot of money. Have you seen this picture? I maybe have seen it. A German scientist murders his fiance when he finds she's been selling his research secrets to the enemy. With a German cast, I looked, I scrolled down, I said, okay, let me throw him some actors to give him a hint. They were all German actors. Yeah.

Yeah, you wouldn't have known any of them. No. You've not seen the picture, but you knew the picture. Yeah. How did you know this? I remember he directed The Lost One. Very good. And yeah, lost a shitload on it. How about that? Okay.

Anything on The Lost One, Paul, while I'm jumping on to the next movie. Let me see what I can find. Here's one. I know where Gilbert's going to go with this. I won't even tell you the title of this one. It's the only picture directed by Charles Lawton. Oh, was this The Courtroom? No. You mean Thinking of a Witness for the Prosecution?

Oh, wait, wait. With Robert Mitchum? Yes. Yes. Yes. Cape Fear. No. No?

No. Cape Fear was directed by J. Lee Thompson. Oh, okay. You're getting your Mitchum thrillers mixed up. This is the one where he was the preacher looking for the hidden cash. Where he had love and hate on his... You are correct. On his...

Cinerama breath. Yes. Night of the Hunter. Yes. Yes. Hunter. Yes. Tattoos. Yes. Night of the Hunter. Yes. Yes. Hunter. Yes. A corrupt preacher looking for a hidden $10,000 in cash charms a widow and her children in an attempt to find it based on the story of a real killer.

Wow. Based on the story of a man named Harry Powers who was hanged in 1932 for the murder of two widows in West Virginia. Great film. Yeah. Terrifying performance. Mitchum, Shelley Winters, Lillian Gish. Wow. Screenplay by James Agee.

Script by the Pulitzer winner, James Agee. Yeah. How about that? And the critic, another guy who had a sad, died early, died in the 40s, James Agee. And allegedly, Charles Lawton liked to eat shit sandwiches. You know, how did I know you were going to go there? He'd have these young guys take a shit on two slices of bread, and he would add lettuce and tomato to it.

Well, in that case, that changes the whole thing. You've got to admire him for getting some greens in there. Yeah, yes, because you need roughage. This is how you know you're not listening to NPR, ladies and gentlemen. In case you were confused. I got it from NPR. You did? Yeah, they did a whole afternoon.

But they said it quietly. It gives new meaning to Terry Gross. Yeah, on NPR they went, Andy used to like to have a shit sandwich. You're a demented individual. Stay with us after this break. Roger Ebert called this movie... It's a great movie.

...one of the greatest of all American films. It is. It is. Its reputation has grown over the years. It now finds itself on top 20 and top 50 all time. Is it streamed somewhere? Do you know? Oh, you can get it anywhere.

It's a wonderful movie. Sounds great. Do you have Apple TV? Yeah, I do. Do it. Yeah. It's there. Gary Cooper turned the roll down thinking it would be bad for his image.

Wow. Which I don't know if that were true, but I don't think Gary Cooper ever played a heel, did he? No. I mean, I think of High Noon and Sergeant York and Love in the Afternoon. And Gregory Peck turned down High Noon. Right. And he said it was like the biggest mistake of his career. He did play a bad guy.

Oh, Mengele. Wasn't he the heavy and dual in The Sun with Jennifer Jones? Do I have the Selznick movie am i wrong about this i know if gregory peck was the heavy and dual of the sun not a success in 1950s dual in the sun king vidor movie not a success in 1955 night of the hunter but considered a classic today that has influenced directors like terence malick david lynch and martin scorsese yeah a wonderful performance have you seen it recently? No.

He's absolutely terrifying in this picture. Cape Fear 2. I mean, that makes a nice double bill. Yeah. Because he played a good psycho. And it's like Scorsese had all of the surviving cast. He did. He brought Martin Balsam back and Peck and Mitchum. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think Polly Bergen. She turned up too? Maybe. In there? Okay. Here's another one. 1957.

We're going chronologically. Are you familiar with a film called Shortcut to Hell? ACDC. No. That was Highway. A remake of This Gun for Hire about a killer who abducts a singer while seeking revenge on his gangster boss. William Bishop and Robert Ivers were some of the actors in it. I didn't know them.

The director was Jimmy Cagney. Wow. The only picture that Cagney directed in his career. Wow. Not well-received, not well-reviewed. I read some reviews where they said they needn't bother remaking This Gun for Hire. Picture that Cagney directed in his career. Wow. Not well-received, not well-reviewed. I read some reviews where they said they needn't bother remaking this gun for hire. Because he had his own production company for a while. I'm sure he did.

How did you find these? Did you lay back and meditate for three hours? No, I go to Patreon and I find what I say to my wife, help me find an episode that we can actually pull off in 30 minutes or 35 minutes. Because people's suggestions are great, but some of them are so elaborate someone wrote in and said i'd love a mini episode about the career of john williams well we're not going to do john williams career in 35 minutes or even an hour so i try to find yeah and and i i googled uh actors who directed once and i found this wonderful website. That's great.

But, of course, I didn't write the name down, so I'm not going to credit them. But, yeah. And then, you know, one-stop shopping. Right. It pales in comparison to your research, of course. Thank you. You know, it's not as extensive. 1957.

You did not know Shortcut to Hell. I'm still impressed that you pulled oh lost one lost one out of your tush the movie is called Time Limit 1957

I'm going to give you the cast a good cast Richard Widmark Richard Basehart wow not to be confused with Richard Dicehart

Rip Torn June Lockhart. And the aforementioned Martin Balsam. And this is a courtroom drama about a military lawyer assigned to defend a Korean War POW accused of treason. Widmark produced the film through his shingle, through his production company. But who directed it? Ooh. He directed once

and once only. Mr. Rayburn? I'm working on it. Are you stumped, Gilly Gil? Yes. Carl Malden. Oh, wow. How about that? Yeah. I got it. Carl Malden.

Yes, very good. Don't leave home without that answer. And Carl Malden, in each one of his movies, would have a character say his actual name. Is that true? Yeah. Great trivia. Yeah. Son of a bitch.

Muchki Muchkowitz. That was his real name? Yeah. Muchki Muchkowitz. He would have it name? Yeah, Muchki Muchkowitz. He would have it like. All right, you got your work cut out for you. Karl Malden's real name. Sometimes like in a, you know, on a train station, you know.

Oh, really? Yeah. He would just find a reason to insert. Yeah. That's kind of cool. Yeah. This is a variation on a Hitchcock. The kids call those Easter eggs, I guess.

Yeah, that's right, in software. I just sounded like I was 80. Well, I remember that TV show Tony Curtis was on with Roger Moore. Oh, The Persuaders. Yeah, we mentioned that one. They were in a hotel lobby, and they were going, Paging Bernie Schwartz. Oh, yeah, we talked about that Bernie Schwartz. Oh, yeah.

We talked about that on the show. Yes. That's cool. That's cool trivia. Well, we'll find that out because Paul never gave me my Gregory Peck duel in the sun answer. You know, he has this tricky little thing that he does. He kind of starts, he injects himself into the conversation hoping you'll forget the question that you asked him.

And he's very, very deft, if I may say, about it. It's working with you gentlemen has taught me a lot. Don't call me a gentleman. Don't call me a fireman. See if anyone gets that reference. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. And now back to the show. 1958.

Carl Malden. Yeah. What's Carl Malden's real name that he now back to the show. 1958. Carl Malden. Yeah. What's Carl Malden's real name that he would shove into the show? Malden George Sekulovic. Yeah. Sekulovic. How would you find a reason to shove Malden? His first name was Malden?

Actually, it looks like it says here M-L-A-D-E-N. So I don't know if that's a typo. I think in one army picture, you could hear one of the sergeants go, come here, Segulovich. Oh, that's interesting. That's pretty cool shit. Yeah, it is. Okay. We've got to watch all the films and see if it's right.

Karl Malden directed once. Richard Widmark, by the way, an actor we've not talked about on this show. Oh, great actor. Yeah, terrific, underrated, and fun in Jud not talked about on this show. A great actor. Yeah, terrific. Underrated. And fun in Judgment at Nuremberg. Oh, yeah. And Kiss of Death. Judgment at Nuremberg.

Well, not a fun film, but he gives a... Let me rephrase that. He gives a very watchable, enjoyable performance. And he pushed the old lady in the wheelchair. Kiss of Death. Yeah. Yeah. Pick up on South Street.

There were a lot of good... I think, and I'm not going to ask Paul to Kiss of death. Yeah. Yeah. Pick up on South Street. There were a lot of good stories. I think, and I'm not going to ask Paul to look this up. Yeah. The building will be condemned. Gilbert, you don't even need to ask. It kicks in a minute. The Statue of Liberty head will be in the beach as Paul. They blew it up!

Gilbert rides by on a horse looking for the research. That, you know, I mean, Frank Gorshin used to imitate. The best. And, you know, he looked like Richard Widmark. And I think in a movie, Richard Widmark and Frank Gorshin were brothers. Paul, hit it. You got another one. Richard Widmark and Frank Gorshin.

If you want to learn the violin or anything before he comes in with the episode. If you'd like to do a collection of harpsichord music. Now would be a good time. Yes. Now we're going to take up rare stamp collection. Richard Widmark and who was that? Frank Gorshin. We're off to a good start here.

The thing about Gorshin, if I may digress, he would do those impressions and he would take on the face of the person. He would look like Kirk Douglas and he would look like Lancaster. Am I wrong? And every Burt Lancaster or Kirk Douglas you hear would be Frank Gorshin.

Pretty much. We wanted to know what they were in together. Yeah. Yeah. For those who have, in this certain movie, they played a pair of outlaw brothers, Billy and Johnny Gannon. In? Warlock.

Warlock. Warlock. What's the date of this? Oh,lock. What's the date of this? Oh, and. What was the director of that? Was it Howard Hawks? What was that movie? Was this on, you know, South Street?

Pick up on South Street. We have Samuel Fuller. That's the one where. With Thelma Ritter. Where they say about, you know, being an American. It goes, are you waving the flag at me? Yeah, that's a good movie. Yeah.

We don't talk about Sam Fuller either. Oh, yes. On the show, and we should. You know who knew Sam Fuller well was Larry Cohen. Oh, wow. And we didn't ask him about him, but Larry was entertaining enough to have back, don't you think? Oh, yeah. People loved that episode.

He was hysterical. Here's another one. 1958's The Buccaneer. The Buccaneer. The Buccaneer. I'll give you the synopsis. During the War of 1812, General Andrew Jackson has only 1,200 men left to defend New Orleans against the British. It starred Yul Brynner, Jean Le Fitte, Claire Bloom, Charles Boyer, Lorne Green, Charlton Heston played Jackson, and Buzz the Wonder Eel. I keep doing Art Fern.

Produced by Cecil B. DeMille, and he was supposed to direct the film because it was a costume drama, a DeMille kind of production, a costume epic. He took ill, and his son-in-law at the time took the reins of the picture. Mr. Gottfried, who was that man? We just mentioned him about 10 minutes, 20 minutes ago. Nope, we mentioned him. I lie. We mentioned him on the previous recording.

I'll give you a hint. He hugged you. Oh, my God. Not Smokey Robinson. He hugged me. He hugged you. He's not Greek. Anthony Quinn hugged me.

Correct. Yes. Anthony Quinn directed The Buccaneer. Wow. His only directorial effort. You mentioned some of the people in it, but it goes deep here. Lorne Green. I said Lorne Green.

Did you say Lorne Green? Lorne Green was Canadian. Inger Stevens. Inger Stevens. I think Inger Stevens is still alive. Oh. Is she worth trying? Maybe.

Somebody suggested the other day that we should call, and I think she's a recluse, Tuesday Weld. That would be a great one. Yeah. I don't know that she's made any kind of public appearance. She and I have had an ongoing conversation. Have you? David Steinberg. Fuck. Yeah, I don't know that she's made any kind of public appearance. She and I have had an ongoing conversation. Have you? David Steinberg. Fuck, sick man. That's good news. David Steinberg

fucked Tuesday well. Okay. There you go, turning into NPR again. Did we use that to get her on the show? I don't see how. Does anything work against us? Oh, yes. Tuesday. Tuesday. Oh, yes. Tuesday. Tuesday.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm coming Tuesday. This will be on his album. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm coming Tuesday. Double entendre. I'm coming Tuesday. This will be on his album with the Paul Williams Shirley Temple bit. So look at this.

James Cagney, Karl Malden, Anthony Quinn. I'm stumping you. Yeah. One after the other. Did you know this picture, The Buccaneer? No. Okay. Not one of the greatest American movies of all time, apparently. Turning the card.

Here we go. Gangster Story in 1960. That sounds familiar. You just sounded like Kevin McCarthy saying, well, that's offensive. gangster story in 1960. That sounds familiar. You just sounded like Kevin McCarthy saying, well, that's offensive. What was that story? That was where on the Aristocrat CD.

Oh, right. I tell a story and I interrupt it with, you know know he's fucking his dog and blah blah blah and he goes this was a common holiday practice for character actor kevin mccarthy that is a gilbert gottfried segue if ever i heard one and someone who knew Kevin McCarthy said, you know, so do you know who Gilbert Gottfried is? And he goes, yes. And he goes, well, he was doing a joke where he said, you know, a guy is fucking his dog and the son is going down on his mother. And he says it's a common practice for character actor Kevin McCarthy. And he goes, well, that's offensive. And he goes, well, yeah, Gilbert tends to.

And he goes, I'm not a character actor, I'm a lead. I love that story. He's probably told it three times, but I don't care. You know Kevin McCarthy? Yeah. He was the lead in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Proving that he was, in fact, the lead. Right.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I love that story. Can't get enough of it. Here we go. Gangster and killer Jack Martin. Jack Martin, Gilbert, is on the run and holds out, holds out, suddenly I'm Canadian, in a small town. It starred the director, Vic Tabak.

Ah! Vic Tabak was not the director. It starred the director, comma, also Vic Tabak. It starred an actress named Carol Grace that the director of this film would go on to marry. Or, in fact, he had married her earlier a year earlier before they made the film together uh the other actor is gary walberg and i bring up gary walberg because he played speed on the odd couple series do you remember that actor with white hair he was also on quincy oh he played lieutenant monaghan on quincy um this is a low budget production with a shot with a skeleton crew, a five person

crew in Anaheim. And your hint is that the director married co-star Carol Grace. And you do an impression of this person and this is the one film that he directed. Oh, geez. It's a good one. Isn't it good? You looked it up. I looked it up. Okay, you're going to give us some information about it in a minute. Or like a clue on the actor. Also, he had to rewrite the script every day because he hated the script. He was broke.

He was so broke from gambling debts. There's kind of a clue. He was so broke from gambling debts that he accepted the role of both star and director for a measly $2,500. Oh. You want a clue? Yes. You did an impression of him as we were interviewing Felix Cavallari. Oh.

Well, not James Mason. No. Oh, well, not James Mason. Who would you do an impression of while talking to Felix Cavallari? While talking to Felix Cavallari. Walter Matthau. Walter Matthau is the correct answer. He directed this picture, Gangster Story, in 1960 and never directed again. Wow.

Another movie you didn't know. Yeah. Felix! Felix! I'm directing Gangster Story, Felix! Felix! It's the 10th floor! 1960, here's another one.

Okay. We stumped him on Walter Matthau. I don't know how. Here's the last one. This is 1960, and this is a movie that we talked about when Frank Conniff was in here with us. But your memory is so bad of previous episodes. But, Paul, I interrupt before I jump ahead. Did you have anything

on Gangster Story? There was almost nothing about it. Wikipedia had just a page or two. Oh, you're just using that as an excuse. I know how you work. Maybe. I know how you work, Rayburn.

This film, Gilbert, Mr. Gottfried, and these are, by the way, these are films you will not be choosing on Turner Classic Movies. This is the Beatniks from 1960.

A young singer's shot at fame is threatened by Hoodlum Pals. Yes, I said Hoodlum Pals. It stars unknown's Peter Breck, Bob Wells, Tony Travis, Charles Stroud. It was co-written by Arthur Julian, a very prolific writer who wrote episodes of Bewitched, Hogan's Heroes, and F Troop, among many, many other things.

And he must have known Ed Weinberger because he wrote episodes of Amen and George C. Scott show Mr. President. So Arthur Julian was one of the writers of this show this show, of this feature but do you know who the director was? And he's somebody whose name comes up all the time on this podcast. Hmm. Now what hint can I give you here? I could give you the hint. I could say

Rankin Bass is a hint. Uh, Jim Backus? No. I don't think Jim Backus is a hint. Jim Backus? No. I don't think Jim Backus directed a feature. I could be wrong, but that would be good trivia, but I didn't find him. No.

Very, very famous, famous voice. And his name comes up all the time on this show. Paul? Paul Freeze? Paul Freeze? Paul Freeze. Wow.

Yeah, we had it with Conniff. Wow. And I put it down on the card again. I said he won't remember. But I don't know. I'll bring it back. I'm not familiar with Paul Freeze. Paul Freeze.

There, fill him in, Gil. Yeah. He was one of the top voiceover guys years ago. And I think he was the voice of the Cyclops in The Cyclops with Lon Chaney. I believe that's true. His voice is also, if you could go to Disney World, or I think Disneyland too,

you can hear it as the voice of the Haunted Mansion ride. Oh, that's awesome. And wasn't he Boris Batinoff? I think he was Boris Batinoff. Paul Freese. He's probably not still with us. He is deceased or he would have been on this show.

He sounded like he would be great. We would have snatched him. Have we tried opening any channels to the beyond? You know, people write that. They say, why don't you have Gilbert do impressions and interview dead celebrities? But how long is that joke going to play out? Well, it also plays to our sentimental side, which we don't want to overdo.

Yes. Frank, while you're out there, do you have any Paul Freese that you can play on YouTube as we kill time so that Paul Rayburn and some of our listeners can acquaint themselves with the voice of Paul Freese? He did a lot of voiceovers.

He did a lot of... He was the burger meister, meister burger. Are you familiar with Santa Claus is Coming to Town? With Mickey Rooney? Yeah. Here's Paul Freese. When hinges creak in doorless chambers and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls.

Whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly still, that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight. Well, so let's buy Bo a ticket and go back home. Buy a ticket and go back home. Buy ticket and go back home? Natasha, where is your pride? Your professional integrity?

We steal tickets and go back home. Pillsbury Crescents have so much butter flavor, they're hard to find. That's him too. Try butter flavored Crescents. Fresh and hot. And Pillsbury says it, bitch. Hey! Who did that? I did.

Suspended in the timelessness of inner space are the thought waves of my first impressions. How about that? Wow. They will be our only source of contact once you have passed beyond the limits of normal magnification. Now do you have an idea who Paul Freese was? That's great. And that first clip, wasn't there a lot of Boris Karloff in that? It sounded to me.

Yeah, a little Orson Welles. It sounded like Vincent Price. A little Vincent Price. He was a little Orson Welles-like. But that was great. Yeah. Oh, he was one of the top guys. So he would have been when?

When would be the peak of his career? I've got something on him here. Was he with the Mercury Theater? Why am I thinking that he was a part of Wells and Hausman and all of those people? I could be completely wrong and be thinking of somebody else. Anyway, he directed this picture for reasons unknown. It was one of the movies that came up on Conniff's show, Mystery Science Theater. He was in The War of the Worlds.

He must have been on the movie. Oh, okay. There you go. I knew he was involved with Wells. Actor, composer, songwriter, voiceover artist, and author. A real renaissance man. A guy who could do anything. And we would have had him here in a heartbeat. Paul Freese.

All those great classics. Oh, yeah. Alexander Scorby. Do you remember him? Yes, yes. He passed away. And I think there was another voiceover guy who was always like the voice of God. Oh, we talked about him when we had Larry Kenney in here.

It was Norman Rose. That Norman Rose. Norman Rose was the voice of God. Yeah, very good. Anyway. Great stuff. So that's the first wave of actors who only directed once. I found about another 15, but we'll save them.

Let's do it again. We'll save them for a future show. Kind of a fun premise. Oh, yeah. For a show. So thank you, Ray Gustini. Thank you, Paul. You're welcome.

You lived up to expectations. You haven't answered any one of the questions. I didn't want to disturb those expectations. And you learned who Paul Freese was. And I did. It was worth it right there. This was a productive evening all around. Gigi?

And this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions. That's what you say. Hey, Jude. Don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Take a sad song and make it better. And remember to let her into your heart. Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. And the minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain, it should refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

For now you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder. I'm knitting a straitjacket for my sweetheart. Hey Jude, don't let me down You have found her Now go and get her and bring her back Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better. So let it out and let it in. Hey Jude, begin. You're waiting for someone to perform with. And don't you know that it's just you, hey Jude You'll do the movement you need It's on your shoulder Now, weren't you a bugler with a brownie sponge? No, hey Jude

don't make it bad take a sad song and make it better remember to let her under your skin then you'll begin to make it better, better, better, better, better, better, better, better. Oh, I feel so much better. Jude, Jude, wait, where are you going, Jude? Look me straight

in the fingers, Jude. Jude, why do I call you Jude when your name is Seymour? Where are you going, Jude? Come back! Jude, don't run away. Hey, don't you want to sing a chorus with me? Come on. Come on, let's sing one more chorus. Then you'll skip. Come on, Jude. Jude what my voice. Da-da-da-da! Then just skip.

Come on, Jude. Jude, don't you trust me? Why do you look so funny at me with your three brown eyes like that? We'll sing together. We'll do things. Stop! Hey, Jude. Will you come back?

Hey, Jude! Stupid, where are you going?