Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #157: Gilbert Sings!

Episode Date: March 29, 2018

This week: Mantan Moreland! The 1910 Fruitgum Company! John Ritter has a wardrobe malfunction! And Gilbert hangs with Cuba Gooding Jr.! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre And this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Verderosa. Colossal Obsessions. You just caught yourself. Take a breath. Yes, yeah, even then.

It was almost a stumble. I fucked up the title. No, it's part of the fun. It's part of the appeal. Hi, Paulie. Hi, guys. Okay, and now, if you're wondering how useless Paul is, I always talk about how, you know, I'll ask him,

can you look on the computer and find out who the star of the Andy Griffith show was, and he can't find it. Can you tell me what location Casablanca took place in? Oh, that's a tough one. Sicily. Yes. Close enough. And so here, I didn't ask him to do anything.

There was a package of cookies here, I didn't ask him to do anything. There was a package of cookies here, and I had a hard time opening them. I was struggling. So Paul goes, oh, I'll open that. And an hour and a half later, he's still trying to pick the package. Not only that, but I screwed up one of the episodes because you would have turned around and shushed me. I forget what we were doing when we did the 200th. Yes. Oh, was that the night he was opening the package of cookies?

Yes. You were nice enough to leave them behind, and my entire meal the next day was cookies. There you go. So Frank benefited. It worked out. Yeah, we were doing Dennis Perrin's National Lampoon episode, and I heard what sounded like a mouse crawling into a... I was trying to be very discreet. So his package opening skills rival his research.

And I should say, we're recording this on Quincy Jones' birthday. That's important information. In case I haven't mentioned this, because it slips my mind from time to time, Quincy Jones says that Marlon Brando fucked Richard Pryor in the ass. It's been... We have confirmation. In case people missed it. Yes. It's been a... We have confirmation.

In case people missed it. Yes. It's been on the last six episodes. Yeah. You know, Quincy Jones and I went to the same music school. Really? Yeah. What do you know about this Pryor-Brando stuff?

Well, I'll have to get back and check with the alumni organization. Okay. So we can find out. Oh, that's six weeks. There was a desperate plea made on our Twitter account today in honor of Quincy Jones' birthday by Twitter Greg asking Quincy

like he's going to show up. Gilbert's putting up the Quincy signal. I must get thee to nutmeg. Yeah. It's I like to picture Richard Pryor with a terrified look. And I mean, it's more than bordering on racist, like kind of a Mantan, Moreland, and Ghost

Breakers. Oh, my God. Look on his face. Willie Best? Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Look on his face. Willie Best? Yes, yes. Oh, my God. Or like that butler who was in the Three Stooges movie where Shemp is a ghost. I can't think of his name.

Gilbert would know. Not Sunshine, Sammy Morrison. Oh, I don't know. I think he was a rascal. Because I remember Shemp's invisible and he sneezes. And the black butler goes, Gesundheit.

And then he looks around and he goes, if there's nobody here, who am I? Gesundheit. You know, this show is nostalgia based. And every week,

Gilbert takes us back to 1956 in America. It brings a tear. It does. Do you feel a tear forming? Solitary tear. Paul was in Italy. He's returned.

Yes. And we can't tell you how much we missed having you. Well, thank you. I should have brought you back some spaghetti amatriciana. Thank you very much for the Dino Martin album that you brought. Dino Crocetti. That was so sweet of you. A quick housekeeping thing.

We didn't mention our friend Michael Weber wearing the orange wedge pin to the Oscars. It was on the red carpet. Yes. We haven't gotten to that since we haven't been doing many episodes for a while. So thank you, Michael. That was an historic moment for this show. And Frances McDormand wore a glass coffee tank. I didn't realize that.

Yeah, no kidding. Was it a Bob Mackie original? Yeah. This year, women are really shattering the glass ceiling. There you go. There you go. And people loved the Gino mini episode. The last time we were here doing a mini episode,

Geno was a big hit. And Danny Lobel, who was sitting in that chair doing wonderful Jackie Mason impressions. Oh, yes. Also terrific. So we wanted to thank Danny and Geno. The Dave Thomas episode, also a big hit. Yes.

With our fans, our most popular episode in a long time. But special thanks go to michael for having the balls to wear and we have to get them back to ask what the reactions were or how many people said you know who are you uh who are you honoring with that oh yes what group was mistreated uh was it the orange farmers? That's what I told him to say. I said, say it in solidarity with the citrus workers. So we'll get him back here and see what he said.

And on the Gino episode, we get to hear Sandra Bullock say that she'll fuck me. Yes. Don't say that like Frank has it queued up, because he doesn't. Yeah, I know that. And always add it in. Yeah, I know that. I know he's added in. Yeah, add it in, Frank.

And don't lose this episode while you're at it. That episode is up. I know Sandra Bullock is going to find out somehow. We're going to do Gilbert Sings, which we haven't done in a long time. We're going to do some shortened versions. Thank you, Paul. See? Audience of one. Yeah, but a very enthusiastic one.

And what better day to do it than Quincy Jones' birthday? Who told us that Marlon Brando fucked Richard Pryor in the ass as his eyes were popping out of his head? My God. While he was eating ice cream and farting, apparently. My God. All right. So these are requests from listeners, and we're going to start with this one. This is from Ray Gustini.

I assume it's Gustini, G-U-S-T-I-N-I, one of my people, not Justini. And he would like to hear Gilbert sing. Are you familiar with this song by the West Bank? Not very well. You tried to get Michael McKean to sing this with you. Do you have any memory of that? Oh, that's right. And he politely declined.

Michael was in the West Bank. Excuse me, the Left Bank. Not the Left Bank, not the West Bank. He was in the Left Bank, I think, after this song was recorded, because I find no specific connection to Michael in this song. But we figured we'd take a shot at it since Ray requested it. Oh, you know, I just recently met Cuba Gooding Jr. Oh.

And I told him how we talked about his father on this show. Oh, you did. Singing Everybody Plays the Fool. Oh, yeah. The main ingredient. What did he say? I don't watch that shit. Yeah.

Did he have a reaction? No, he seemed very happy about that. That's nice. I met him backstage at The View a couple years ago. Everybody Plays the Fool. What was their other hit? I think it was I Just Don't Want to Be Lonely. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, main ingredient. Good stuff. We just lost him. Cuba Gooding Sr. You want to take a shot at this? Okay. This is The Left Bank. You guys will know this song.

Paul will have a little trivia about it afterward. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. And when I see the sign that points one way, the one we used to pass by every day. Just walk away, Renee. You won't see me follow you back home. The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same. You're not to blame.

Beautiful. From deep inside the tears that I'm forced to cry. From deep inside the pain that I choose to hide. that I choose to hide. Just walk away, Renee. You won't see me follow you back home. Now has the rain deep down on my weary eyes. For me it's bright.

That was just... You hear the flute as it fades out. The flute, I know. I don't want to fade out on the flute. I just don't want another verse. What inspired the use of the flute in Walk Away, Renee? Oh, Gilbert? Um, I don't know. The flute solo in what other pop tune just before that time? Gilbert? I don't know.

The flute solo in what other pop tune just before that time? California Dreamin'. Oh. Wow. It is reminiscent of California Dreamin', isn't it? Yes. How about that? That's a good one. What else did you find out about Walk Away, Renee?

Well, here's the other thing. Sadly, Paul and I could not walk away. about walk away, Renee. Well, here's the other thing. Sadly, Paul and I could not walk away. From my research, excuse me, it says Michael Brown, who was one of the songwriters, Yes, indeed.

decided to capitalize on the success by assembling a band called The Left Bank, which included Michael McKean on guitar. Now, this sounds like he was that. This doesn't have Michael McKean written as one of the musicians on this song. Now, we'll call Michael and we'll ask him. Al Rogers, John Arbor, John Abbott, Paul Fluffer Hirsch.

You know Fluffer. Oh, jeez. Mike Brown, Harry Lukofsky. John, yeah, I don't see him. I'm sure that guy Fluffer never put up with any abuse. Probably not. Probably not. So your research says that Mike McKean was involved with this recording.

I seem to remember him telling us that he came later. Yeah, it's a little vague here, so that might be right. If we have it on the record, that's probably right. Now, of course, here's the big question. Who was Renee? Well, Renee was the girlfriend of somebody else in the band that the songwriter had a crush on. Scandalous.

Yeah, there was trouble in that band. Yeah. If he's right. Yeah, the guy, Michael Brown, who wrote the song was in love with the bass player's girlfriend. Oh. And so he wrote the song about his unrequited love for, it's kind of like Layla. So that's right. Wow.

So here's how bad it was Rene Flayton was in the control room when Michael Brown tried to record his harpsichord part he later said he was shaking so badly he couldn't play the part and he had to come back when she wasn't there to re-record how about that wow should I sing the second half And more importantly, a fluffer is one of those girls they hire to keep guys' dicks hard in between sex scenes and porn. So just fluff away, Renee. Just fluff away, Renee. Yeah, just fluff away, Renee. That's the B-side.

We managed to eviscerate any emotion from any of these tunes. And it takes fluff, fluff, fluff to make a fluffernutter. Marshmallow fluff and lots of peanut butter. Forge your spread, spread, spread your bread with peanut butter. And marshmallow fluff and that's a fluffernutter. That's beautiful. It's fucking delicious. I didn't have that one on my list. Oh And that's a fluff-a-nutter. That's beautiful. It's fucking delicious. I didn't have that one on my list.

Oh, that's great. Don't say this song isn't educational. Apparently, the Four Tops also covered it. Did you know that, Paul? No. I did know that. And Linda Ronstadt recorded it. Renee also inspired the band's second subsequent song, which was?

You got me. I'm in love with a pretty ballerina. Oh, pretty ballerina. That's right. That's right. That's right. So that's the left bank, Gilbert. Left bank.

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Yeah. Did you say that she covered this song? Yeah, that's right. an interview. Yeah. Did you say that she covered this song? Yeah, that's right. She did cover it. Peter Asher could certainly put us in touch with her if she was willing, her old producer,

if she was willing to do something like that. I don't know how well she can speak. I don't know either, but maybe we should give it a shot and find out. That would be a very popular booking. Here's one we know you love, Gil.

Yes. This is from, boy, already this episode is only half old it's only what am i trying to say we're only halfway through it half old i'm tired we're only halfway through the episode already we've had a manton morland reference willie Best. Quincy Jones' birthday. I think we're all half old. And I think I mentioned Marlon Brando. You might have. Fucking Richard Pryor.

You might have. In the ass. This was recommended, this was suggested by Gilda. I don't know Gilda who. She did not leave a last name. But she wants to hear you sing this pop classic. It's a bubblegum pop classic. Oh, absolutely.

From 1968. It's 50 years old. Actually, technically, she just said, I miss the One Hit Wonders episodes, and she was not specific. So I chose this. Well, did you explain that Verterosa loss? I did not. This is the one song you sang over and over again in those episodes. Anyway, Gilda suggested we do one-hit wonders.

I thought, what's 50 years old? This song is perfect for Gilbert. So let's give it a shot. And it still stands. Yes, it's a classic. Okay, Frank. We'll try it. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

I got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you. Love's just a sweet thing, good enough to eat thing and it's just what I'm gonna do. It's a little behind. Oh, God hold you. Oh, love to eat thing and it's just what I'm gonna do. A little behind. Oh, God hold you. Oh, love to kiss you.

Oh, I love it so. Oh, love you sweeter. Oh, love you sweeter. Sweeter than sugar. Oh, love, I won't let you go. Oh, Lord. Look at that bass. Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy. And as silly as it may seem,

the loving that you're giving is what keeps me living. And your love is like leeches in cream. Kind of like sugar, kind of like spices, That was beautiful. How do you think you did on that one? Great. You would be mistaken. I think the music was off. You do?

Yeah. Yeah. This was from Super K Productions. Do you know about Super K? I do not. Kazanitz and Katz were two Jewish fellas from New York who were behind a lot of these bubble gum bands. Oh, jeez. They were the producers behind the Shadows of Night, a 1910 fruit gum company.

Oh, wow. Who did Simple Simon Says, put your hand, do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Put your hands in the air. That's right. Simple Simon Says. And Crazy Simon Says, put them down by your side. Fruit Gum Company copied Yummy Yummy Yummy. Or covered it. That's right.

That's right. The Ohio Express's other hit was Chewy Chewy. I don't recall that one. You don't know that one? Was it a hit? On Buddha Records. And I did the one Che Jewy, Jewy. You did Jewy, Jewy?

I didn't realize that. I remember that one. So you may poo-poo this song. I won't. Because I love bubblegum pop. Okay, well, even if you didn't, this was written by...

Who do you think asked Ron Dante to be on the show? This was written by Arthur Resnick and Joey Levine. You bet. Who are more familiar to you than you think they are. Because Arthur Resnick and Joey Levine, who are more familiar to you than you think they are. Because Arthur Resnick was co-writer on the following tunes, Under the Boardwalk, Good Lovin', and Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, and some others.

And he's in the Songwriters Hall of Fame. Joey Levine is with us. And Joey Levine wrote several classics we all know. One is Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut. Yes, he was a jingle writer. He was a jingle guy. He wrote Gentlemen Prefer Hanes. And you ready for this one?

Come See the Softer Side of Sears. That's it. Oh, wow. Well, wait a minute. That was his second career. Yeah. Yeah, but he was a pop guy. That's right.

I remember this. There's one, you could look it up on the internet if you're so inclined. One episode of Three's Company where John Ritter is wearing shorts and he does some kind of, you know, pratfall or something, and his balls are hanging out of his shorts. And a reporter asked him, they said, you know, in this one scene where they say, you could see one of your testicles hanging out. And John Ritter said, well, sometimes you feel like a nut.

Is that a true story? Yeah. We should do an All Testicles episode with that one and the Mr. Belvedere story. Oh, that's right. I cringe every time I hear the Mr. Belvedere story. It'll be a deep cut. What else do you know about this song, Pauly Paul?

That's about it. It did make a Time magazine. You ready for this? Yeah. Top 10 list. Time magazine's 2000 list of top 10 songs

with silly lyrics. It was only number eight. How dare you? But still. How dare you? Joey Levine was a bubble gum guy like Ron Dante.

He was, in fact, I think he's a friend of Ron's, certainly a contemporary. He sang a song, Quick Joey Small. Do you know that one? No.

Do you know Life is a Rock but the Radio Rolled Me? Oh, yes, yes, yes. He's the guy talking a million miles a minute going, Reetha Franklin, Jay Rivers,

Life is a... You know that song? Oh, yes. He's kind of a genius and a fast talker. This song appeared in The Simpsons, in the episode Itchy and Scratchy, the movie. It's in a Monty Python sketch, How Not to Be Seen, one of my favorite Python sketches. It's in the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Super Size Me on the Immortal Buddha Records.

Yep. Yeah, the fruit gum company was on Buddha Records. Do you remember that label? Oh. With the Buddha? Oh, wow. And the gold Buddha and the multicolored label? So we should get some of these guys.

Yeah. Ron Dante was really interesting, and we should get Kazanis and Katz and do a bubble gum pop episode. This is all kind of stuff up your alley. You don't know Chewy Chewy? Well, you know what? I'll have Frank put it on the end of the episode.

Chewy Chewy was the other hit by the Ohio Express, and we'll have Frank tack it on to the end of this. Is there a way you can find it now? Not you, Paul. Frank, can you find Chewy Chewy? Because I know Gilbert will know it it's not musically complex we're layering out here

Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy Chewy Baby We're layering on here. Oh, all right. You'll know the chorus. Oh, okay. I sure love to hold her, love to miss her, like to squeeze her, like to rub her like I do. No, I love it, Chewy. Don't know what you're doing to me, but you do it to me like I want you to. And Paul did some research, and that's actually a love song for Chewbacca.

It was a very popular. How does it compare to Chewy Chewy? Yeah. You know, it's funny. Those bubblegum pop hits still hold up. They do. Yeah. And they stick in your brain. Yes.

Forever and ever and ever. Yeah, we'll do a whole bubblegum one-hit wonders episode. Two-hit wonders down the road. We can look up this Time Magazine chart of top ten songs with silly lyrics. I bet we could find some fun stuff there. What if we went back to Joe McGinty's place? Frank didn't lose the audio this time. What if we went back?

Well, now you're asking a lot. What would be awesome is if I came and did the sound for it and lost the episode. That would be perfect. We went to McGinty's and we did an all bubblegum night with you singing along with the crowd. What do you think of that idea? Oh, maybe. Okay. He sounds really sold on it. Here's the third one. So thank you, Gilda.

And thanks to everybody who goes on Patreon and posts these things. They're so much fun. And Gilbert really looks forward to them. This is from Paul Ekstrom, and I was just telling Dara outside, this gentleman has been requesting that you sing this song for the last year or half a year on Patreon,

and we were never able to get around to it, and he just kept saying it and saying it and posting every month. See, the title does... Damn it, I want Gilbert to sing this song. Well, we'll let Frank play you a little bit of it just to familiarize you with it first but he also has a request he wants you to sing the chorus as jerry lewis okay

so paul let's see if he uh i keep calling frank paul frank let's see if he knows this at least you know this this is one of the biggest songs by Styx. Ring a bell? A little bit. Yeah. It will after the intro. Oh. When you're with me I'm smiling Give me Whoa, whoa, whoa Your love

Wanna try a little? Yeah. Okay, here we go. Your hands Take us back, Frankie. We'll give it a little shot for Paul Ekstrom who's been waiting a very long time for this. The poor man.

Okay. This should be interesting when you're with me, I'm smiling. Give me all your love. Your hands build me up when I'm shaking. Turn me and my troubled domain. Lady, from the moment I saw you standing alone. You gave all the love that I needed Beautiful child Shine like a child like mine

You're my lady of the morning Love shines in your eyes Starlight clear and lovely You're my lady

Lady Turn me on when I'm lonely Gilbert, Gilbert, the song is over. I didn't want to tax you anymore. Oh, that was special. Yeah. That was worth the wait.

The temperature in the booth here went up about 10 degrees. Yes. And Paul, you probably didn't even hear that Frank put in a little bit of an extra touch in there. I heard something. Because it was up so loud. You probably didn't hear this. Ah! I can't.

I can't believe. He is horrible. He is horrible. He is horrible. It's appropriate. That is so funny. I can't believe Frank would put that in there. I know. Frank, can you find Sandra Bullock saying, yes, I will fuck you?

What I wanted to do is when you were singing the emotional part, I was going to try to fly in, yes, Gilbert, I will fuck you. But I couldn't find it. Oh, okay. It's not labeled as such, but I'm going to get those on the ready for future episodes. He'll get them on the ready. You should have that laugh thing to just use on cue when needed. It's so great. It's wonderful.

This reminds me, by the way, what you just did. Reminds me of your old bit about Jerry Lewis sings the who. Yeah. See me. Touch me. See me. Touch me. See me. Feel and touch. Feel me.

Well, Paul Ekstrom was on to something. What do you have about this one, Paul? About sticks. Here's a fascinating tidbit. Dennis DeYoung, who wrote it, was going to use an electric piano, but when he saw the grand piano in the studio... He went for it. He went acoustic.

But the only other good one I have here, I know that was good, that's going to be hard to top, was Homer in an episode of The Simpsons that was taken from The Odyssey. He was Odysseus, and they walked by the River Styx where they were playing Styx music,

and Homer said, oh my God, this is hell. The second song tonight that appeared in The Simpsons. Yeah, that's right. As far as we know, Walk Away, Renee did not appear in The Simpsons. Almost everything has appeared in The Simpsons. This song also turns up in The Office, Freaks and Geeks, the movie Underdog, the movie Old School, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Ah. Sticks. You knew it, didn't you?

Yes, yes. Once it started playing. I think maybe their only bigger hit was Come Sail Away. Oh, yeah. Sticks, if I have that right. The other funny thing on this thing, I'm sure you saw this too, is that a DJ on WLS in Chicago loved the song and kept playing

it it was going nowhere and he played it every night at eight o'clock for i guess weeks maybe longer and finally it caught on so it was written in 1972 it reached its chart peak of number six in 1975 how about that three years later that's persistent there's a long history of djs and and and record company people and radio people rescuing songs from the scrap heap. Not anymore. Making them. Not anymore. In the old days when the disc jockeys could play what they wanted.

When terrestrial radio was still. There was that one case, I forget who it was, but one DJ years ago that picked one song and he played it like 24 hours. What was that story? That's a good story. And I know that story too. And now I can't think of the song. Well, Murray the K, when we had Felix here. Yeah.

Murray the K. Felix! Which Rascals song was it? I think it was Not Beautiful Morning. Maybe it was A Beautiful Morning. Murray the K, they didn't think it was a single.

Yeah. And Murray the K said, that's a single for me and played it on the radio until it became a hit. But the record company wasn't behind it as a single.

I would like also our listeners to just Google Dennis DeYoung from Styx years ago. And I didn't research this. I was just doing it

from memory. Years ago, it was impersonated. Someone, you have it? Well, this is the... This is the story of a guy who became a professional Dennis DeYoung. He was scamming people

by posing as Dennis DeYoung. What I have was not exactly what we were looking for about the DJs, but a DJ in Austria in December 2015 decided that people didn't have the Christmas spirit so he locked himself in a studio and played Last Christmas 24 times in a row.

That's not it. But that's the same idea. Have you heard there was a guy who's getting into the podcast world who's impersonating a researcher slipping into unwitting podcasts. I've heard of that. to the podcast world who's impersonating a researcher. Slipping into unwitting podcasts. I've heard of that.

I've heard of that happening. There's a whole bunch of these barefoot Larry Justice who worked at WPGC in Washington locked himself in his booth and played.

This happened all the time. Then Tim Robbins in the Shawshank Redemption locks himself in the room and plays the aria. Somebody played Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer 27 times. But Gilbert's story, that story about the guy who kept playing the song over and over again until it was a hit, I know that story. Yeah.

We have to find that now. Of course, now our listeners are screaming into their devices. All right. Boy, if we had a researcher. If we did. Let me see if I can research a researcher for you. Yeah, look one up. Can you go to LinkedIn on your device?

Pop had Clemenza. Look what we got. That's great. I think it was Jenko. Pop had Jenko. Look what we got. If we had a wartime researcher, we wouldn't be in this shape, Paul. You know, I have to say, I should say it on the podcast for everybody to know,

the tenderness and the professionalism of this podcast is unsurpassed. Don't mention it. Gil, you were outstanding tonight. See? Yeah. See? Yeah, Paul Ekstrom got his money's worth to hear you sing Jerry Lewis. You want to take us out and we'll do this again next time?

Yes. So this has been on Quincy Jones' birthday. It's also the day that Bea Benederit lost her virginity. I don't know if you know that. No. With Quincy Jones? Yes. Yes.

I just threw that out there. I have a spreadsheet at home that provides me with this kind of information. Yeah. If you could find out when Thelma Ritter was... Paul? That's too easy.

Why am I so turned on right now? You are brilliant. Come here. I will fuck you. Say goodnight, Gracie. This has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. Everybody plays a fool Sometimes

There's no exception To the rule Listen, baby It may be factual It may be cruel I ain't lyin' Everybody plays a fool Falling in love is such an easy thing to do

And there's no guarantee that the one you love Is gonna love you Oh, love at last they cannot see A certain person could never be Thank you. Sometimes there's no exception to the rule Listen baby, it may be factual, it may be cruel I'm gonna take it for everybody plays the fool How can you have it when the music starts to play And your ability to reason is swept away Oh, heaven on earth is all you see You're out of touch with reality.

And now you cry, but when you do, next time around someone cries for you. Everybody plays the fool sometimes. Use your heart just like a tune. Listen, baby You never tell your soul it's true I won't say it again Everybody plays the fool

Listen to me, baby Everybody plays the fool sometimes No exception No exception to the rule It may be factual Maybe true Sometimes Everybody plays the fool

Listen, listen baby Everybody plays the fool Sometimes You just want to play the fool sometimes