Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #158: Celebrating 200 Episodes with the GGACP Listener Society (Part 1)

Episode Date: April 5, 2018

This week: Discovering Harpo's wig! Sonny Fox turns on the waterworks! Gilbert "rescues" Chevy Chase! The riskiest movie ever made! And the Shecky Greene flaming monkey story! Learn more about your ad... choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting Partners Sun Life. The world is yours to create. That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions.
Starting point is 00:01:25 And we're joined by the harmonica playing blues black, southern black star, Paul Raybone. It's the first time he's introduced you. What a dude-ah. And by the wrong name. Yeah. Some obsessions. I am going to be deaf by the time this show wraps. I'm going to turn into Johnny Ray because you're screaming in my ear.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Oh, God. I love you. 200 episodes, kids. Wow. What do you think? I don't know. You're you. 200 episodes, kids. Wow. What do you think? I don't know. You're lucky you can talk at all. 200 in the can.
Starting point is 00:01:50 And I've lost track of the number of mini episodes. Do you know, I heard that for Marlon Brando alone, Richard Pryor got 200 in the can. Really? Yeah. Yes. 200 in a can. Really? Yeah, yes. According to Quincy Jones,
Starting point is 00:02:08 Marlon Brando gave it to Richard Pryor 200 times in the can. For the record, I delivered mini episode 157 today. 157? Well, thank you for that. So what are we going to do when we get to the 200th mini? Oh my God. That's nothing to worry about
Starting point is 00:02:24 for the time being. I think we should get three midget guests. Wow. So 157 minis and 200 full episodes. Yes. Not counting the four or five full episodes that are recorded. It's like 1,000 episodes. Yeah, it's 1,000.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah, that's good math. We decided to do something nice. We decided to reach out to our listeners on the Listener Society. I know you never go there. Frank goes there all the time. Paul, I don't know about. We're going to do something nice. Paul Raybone. You're going to do something nice for our listeners because they're so good to us. And Paul,
Starting point is 00:03:00 while we're doing this, can you find out what ball player the Babe Ruth story was about? Yeah, if you can look that up. I just need some time. He doesn't even have his phone. He wasn't even told to do research on this one. So the people who run the Listener Society, Eric Fusco and Rob Smentech.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Oh, and where did the play Oklahoma take place? One at a time. Come on. Rob Smentek. Oh, and where did the play Oklahoma take place? Yeah. One at a time. Come on. And Peter Santamaria and Bjorn, we want to thank them for all they do on the Listener Society. And we're always doing Twitter episodes, and we never give the Listener Society its due. And there's 5,000 people there or some odd number. And we decided for the 200th episode, we would post and say, ask any question about the 200 shows that you want,
Starting point is 00:03:50 and the winner will get an orange wedge pin. So we have not decided yet who the best questioner is, but we will soon. So there are lots and lots and lots of questions here in my hand, so let's get through as many as we can in 30 minutes. Okay. Darren, Ashley, Bokes. Do you guys go out for dinner with the guests after the show when they're in the studio? Have we done that?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Oh, I do remember. Yes, we had dinner with. With Chevy. You had dinner with Chevy. We had. I wasn't there. There was a notable occurrence that night. Yes, yes. Chevy all of had dinner with Chevy. Yeah. We had. I wasn't there. There was a notable occurrence that night at dinner. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Chevy all of a sudden started choking. Yes. At the table. And it looked like his face turned red. He couldn't breathe. And I, you know, quick thinking, I figured maybe I'll stand up. I'm not going to hold on to him because I can't really give him the height. My arms can't reach around him.
Starting point is 00:04:52 You're considerably shorter than he is. And so maybe I'll, my idea was to stand up just to make me feel like I was helping. Yes. I got it. And like when, if people watched it, they go, hey, do you see how quickly Gilbert stood up? And then afterwards when he was breathing again, he said, yeah, thanks for having my bag, Gilbert.
Starting point is 00:05:18 I heard I was at the next table and I actually have found audio of your heroics and his response to it. Should I, should I play it for you? Okay. Why am I so turned on right now? You are brilliant. Come here. I will fuck you.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Yeah. This is success. He was that grateful for saving his life that afterwards he fucked me. Fantastic. Yes, yes. That's going to be a recurring button. We did, he fucked me. Fantastic. Yes, yes. That's going to be a recurring button. We did lunch with Steve Buscemi after his episode. And we lunched with Bob Costas.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Oh, yes. And then Paul Williams took us to lunch at Michael's. Oh, that's right. Which was sweet. So, yes, we have on occasion. Have we ever, now the Chevy thing was scary enough, but 200 episodes in, have we ever actually killed a guest? Have we been responsible for the death of a guest? Only by booking them.
Starting point is 00:06:09 We've killed the rest of their careers. Darren also wants to know, do you ever start recording with a guest and think this is going terribly? All the time. Every show? Yes. Mostly because we're terrible. Yes. Not the guest. Aaronaron carothers why but the funny thing
Starting point is 00:06:28 there is we're constantly surprised we'll have guests some that we enjoy a lot others we feel we had to work harder with and we're always surprised who becomes a big hit guest oh absolutely yeah there's no way to tell yeah there's these people where i thought I'm surprised who becomes a big hit guest. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. There's no way to tell. Yeah. There's these people where I thought, oh, that was perfectly entertaining. And then I get these tweets and emails. I know.
Starting point is 00:06:56 We love that guy. We think we leave the booth saying, well, it was a nice complimentary episode. And then it blows up. Yeah. Well, you think, oh, that was pleasant enough. Yeah. Or a guest surprises us. We thought it was going to go one way and you get somebody like Sonny Fox
Starting point is 00:07:10 coming in with his POW stories. My God. What about Super Dave? Didn't he think he was much funnier than we thought? I think we expected that. Sonny Fox, I was expecting like basically a kids say the darndest things kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:07:27 He really brought it. He moved us. My God. Aaron Carruthers, why didn't you ask Tippi Hedren about the movie Roar? I believe we did. I think so. That was the crazy movie where she had all the lions and tigers. Yes, and the lions were killing people on the set.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Whipped her cinematographer's head off. I watched some of that after that episode. Oh, my God. We couldn't get through the whole thing. It was just awful. That is the most terrifying. It's the real Jaws. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Somebody described it as like Jaws the documentary. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, you just felt like saying, hey, excuse me, those aren't pets. Those aren't. If our listeners have not seen Roar, I guess it's on YouTube. It's somewhere. And worth watching about 15 or 20 minutes of before you have to turn away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:11 And the cinematographer, one of the lions took the top of his head off. Yeah. And he had something like 80 stitches to put his head back on. It's like. Melanie Griffith was attacked at one point. They're nice to look at in a nature special, but that's as close as you want to be to a lot. Yeah, well, my favorite part of the Tippy Hedren episode
Starting point is 00:08:31 was when she invited us to her preserve, and you said you'd be waiting in the car. Yeah. The door locked. Rob Bollock wants to know, or Bollock, who's the chicken hawk? I'm kidding. Only Richard Kind would know.
Starting point is 00:08:46 You'll have to take that up with Richard Kind. Henry Kaplan then follows that up by saying, my money's on Will Gere. Will Gere. I don't think Will. I don't know. It wasn't Will Gere. That's a good guess. It wasn't him.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yeah. But maybe of that era. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. This is from Dane Giroux or Giraud. Has Gilbert ever been contacted by angry relatives or the fans over one of his more controversial celebrity stories? Not yet.
Starting point is 00:09:19 No, but your lawyer can call the following number. Oh, lordy lord. This is from Kevin Mason. Of all the impressions and songs that Gilbert has performed on the podcast, which ones had Frank Santopadre laughing the most? That's easy. Well, it's either Hervé Villachez, which I eat up with a spoon and egg you on. But refer back.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It's on Stitcher now. You'd have to go to Stitcher to get it. It's the Steve Cox episode when you did the Jerry Lewis. Oh, my God. And the glass table. And Dara loved that moment because I went – we used to record in Gilbert's house then. And I ended up in the fetal position on the kitchen floor. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Sobbing. Yes. Sobbing into my hands and into a dish towel. It was – so check that one. Check the Jerry Lewis and the last 15 minutes of the Steve Cox show. Yes. That was special. Because we were having an argument over who actually got shit on
Starting point is 00:10:15 and who just got shit while they were under a table. Yes, it was the finer points. Yes. Sarah Ryan wants to know, is there another live show with a guest in the future? We hope so. We hope so. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Scheduling. It's always a scheduling dependent. Randy Bucknoff, who's the guy that brought us Sonny Fox, I might add, says, just for fun, I put orange slices on my Caesar salad. I wanted you guys to know that. Oh, we appreciate that. Did it taste like Caesar or Mara's ass? Kevin Mason again. Will we ever get a live reading
Starting point is 00:10:54 of Gilbert's Adventures of Superboy comic? Boy, there's an idea. Oh, wow. You do a live reading like an old radio show? Wow. An old radio drama? Or like, what's it? Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia. Oh, Fi fiorello la guardia reading the comics yeah the newspapers
Starting point is 00:11:09 were on strike and la guardia would go on the radio and read the comics to the kids there's an idea yeah there's an idea and he was a jew absolutelyuardia. A portion of him was a Jew. Let's see. You really can't tell from the names. No. Susie Healy. Susie Healy wants to know, does Gilbert do any prep for the show? I think his laugh and Frank's cue will answer that question for you.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Let's see, let's see, let's see. Chris Hankinson, Frank being a writer, who are some of your favorite television or film writers who inspired you? Quickly, that's a long list, but quickly I'll name two comedy writers that we've had on this show who I grew up watching. Alan Zweibel on Saturday Night Live, a terrific, funny writer, and Bob Einstein, the great Bob Einstein. And for screenwriting, that's a very, very long answer, but I'll say William Goldman. And? The granddaddy of...
Starting point is 00:12:14 Oh, oh, yes. And? Paul Cafaro said... You know, I hired Dalton Trumbo for Problem Child. Did you? Yes. To get him off the blacklist? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:28 It was a lot of courage on my part. Wow. Wow. There have been many, many moments in Hollywood history where Gilbert has taken a stand. You think you know a guy. Paul Cofaro. And John Garfield played Mr. Healy. I didn't realize.
Starting point is 00:12:50 And Paul Robeson was the little boy. No kidding. Yeah. Versatile. Very versatile. I got all of them off the back. What range? Who was Herschel Bernardi playing?
Starting point is 00:13:02 These are now blacklist references just for us. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. This episode is brought to you by the Kraken Gold Spiced Rum. The Kraken presents the legend of Gold Spiced Rum. Plundered from the darkest depths of the Kraken's keep. Savored for its rich, smooth taste with hints of Tahitian vanilla and dark spices. Discover the Kraken's newest treasure, the Kraken gold-spiced rum. Please drink responsibly.
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Starting point is 00:14:07 Open an account today at Questrade.com. And now back to the show. Paul Cofaro, a new running question for the guests needs to be, but did you fuck Margaret Dumont? There you go. Yes. There's a suggestion. Somebody wants to add that.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Here's a tough one for you, Gil. Reed Hawkins. After the documentary Gilbert, podcast guests have mentioned how much they enjoyed the doc and Dara being Gilbert's savior. Has Gilbert ever wondered what an alternate universe would look like? His life without Dara. Oh, that's interesting. That would make a good movie. Or Twilight Zone episode.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Oh, yes. Yes. And for Dara, a fantasy. I'm assuming Sandra Bullock would star in it. Sandra Bullock. Ah, yes. Yes. And what would she say in it?
Starting point is 00:14:55 You are brilliant. Come here. I will fuck you. Yeah. I think we've got a hit. Let's see. I'm crossing these out as I go. Ed Marcus wants to know, has there been a thawing out between Shecky and Gilbert?
Starting point is 00:15:12 Oh, that would be good. And by the way, my father walked out on Gilbert's show at the Nevillee. I'm sure he wasn't alone. Thank you, Ed. Thank you for that. Let's see. Andrew LaPosha, or LaPasha, I apologize if I'm mangling any of these names. If Gilbert was to get roasted, this is a great question, who would be on his dream dais?
Starting point is 00:15:41 Oh, geez. Well, you got to have Jeff Ross. You got to have the roast master. Yes, jeez. Well, you've got to have Jeff Ross. You've got to have the Roastmaster. Oh, yes, yes, of course. And Skelton Canags. Skelton Canags? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Who else? Frank Ferguson. Frank Ferguson's good? Yeah. Come on. Artie Lang would be on it. Oh, Artie Lang wouldn't show up, on. Artie Lang would be on it. Oh, Artie Lang wouldn't show up, though. Artie Lang wouldn't show up.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Dawes Butler. Dawes Butler? Yeah. All right. We gave you one name. Ed Marcus again. Is there a prized piece of Hollywood memorabilia or a holy grail that Gilbert would love to obtain? It's funny.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Just recently, I did Anthony's show, his podcast, formerly of- Oh, Anthony Cumia. Yeah. And when I got there, they said, oh, you know, you'll have some fun with Artie. fun with Artie. And the first thing I hear when I sit down is Anthony saying, oh, Artie couldn't make it. Of course.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And I thought, boy, I'm in shock. Of course. Ted Herman. Wait a minute, I jumped one. What was the one you were just asking? Let me go back to that one. This is Ed Marcus again. Is there a prized piece of Hollywood memorabilia or a holy grail that Gilbert would love to obtain? So many.
Starting point is 00:17:08 A friend of mine was cleaning out Chico's daughter's apartment. Maxine. Yeah. And he said he opened the closet and found a couple of Harpo's wigs. Wow. And a few of Chico's pointed hats. What did he do with these treasures? Well, it took all the strength he had, but he did turn it over to the family.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Wow. How nice. Because that, to me, is like the sled from Citizen Kane. Yeah, yeah. It would definitely. There's a rumor for years that Spielberg had that, but there were probably several Kane. Yeah, yeah. It would definitely. There's a rumor for years that Spielberg had that. But there were probably several made. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:50 You know, who knows if these things are authenticated. Ted Herman with two R's and two N's. Like Edward Herman. They say comedians always want to play Hamlet. I know Burl always wanted to. That's true. Gilbert, have you ever done or wanted to do a serious dramatic role? To be or not to be, whether it is noblest to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
Starting point is 00:18:15 fortune or to take arms against a sea of trouble and by opposing end them, to sleep perchance to dream. Ah, there's the rub. That was beautiful. Unbelievable. Wow. Yeah. Wow. I feel like I'm sitting next to Sir Ralph Richardson.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And while we're at it, he thwarts, oh, he mocks my losses and thwarts my gains. And for what reason? For I am a Jew? Hath not a Jew eyes, ears, feelings, dimensions? Are we not warmed and cooled by the same summer and winter? Very good. Oh, my God. Impressed?
Starting point is 00:19:05 Impressed. What are you doing? Why did it take 200 episodes to get to Shakespeare? Why are you doing a podcast? Well, I always say, why am I doing a podcast with the current co-host I have? But it's basically the same. It's a similar question. It's just semantics.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Now is the winter of our discontent. Oh, that's right. You made George Takei do that Shylock bit. This question you're going to love. This one's really out there. It's from Andrew Bavington. The Three Stooges, fuck, marry, kill. You want to tackle that?
Starting point is 00:19:47 Oh, that's a tough one. Well, I would, I'd fuck Fernandes. Okay. Yes. Not really a stooge, but I'll allow it. And I'd marry Emil Zitka. Okay. And kill Joe Derrida?
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah. That was kind of a layup Kill Joe Dorita? Yeah. That was kind of a layup, wasn't it? Yeah. Hey, buddy boy. He's still... The original Curly had, you know, knock, knock, knock, and and all these weird,
Starting point is 00:20:19 you know, fun things. And then along comes Curly Joe Dorita, and all he brings to it is hey buddy boy and you go oh okay it's kind of like hiring a guy and go hey what kind of catchphrases do you have well i i have one i think i'll wear my blue shirt today they went pretty deep into the bench, right? They did. Kevin Watsy, of the 200 guests, what percentage had Gil never heard of prior to
Starting point is 00:20:52 them being on the show? Usually it's you and I getting abused, Paul. He gets abused. He gets abused by the listeners. Is there a theme in what we're reading here? There seems to be a theme. It's Abuse Gilbert. They're all winners in my book.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Yeah, yeah. I send them all pins. I'll remember when Steve Buscemi said to me, have you ever seen any of my movies? I'll tell you exactly what he said. First of all, you dishonor him again by mispronouncing his name. No, it's Buscemi. Buscemi. Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:25 And he said, I love how Gilbert has only a passing knowledge of my career. That's a nice cringeworthy episode. What a lovely guy. And you know the funny thing about that episode? We went to lunch with him at the Friars Club. We recorded at the Friars Club. We went down to the dining room. And the lunch was better than the episode.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Oh, much better. He sang cartoon songs. We did themes. It was just great. He was relaxed. You were relaxed. It's so funny because that's that thing of like where you go, oh, we got to do an interview now. And then when we were having lunch with him, we forgot about doing an interview and just had fun.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, somebody said the last time we did this, I think, or maybe you sent me an email that they thought the mini episodes were kind of fun because they were more laid back. We get those emails. People like the short episodes because they're looser and sillier and less formal. Yeah. And less of an interview. Barry Goobler, or Galbler, has Gilbert ever walked out of a movie? If so, which one? When you were in, I would think.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Oh, yeah. Did you walk out of Funky Monkey? Oh, God, I never saw any of Funky Monkey. Right, or Back by Midnight. Oh Monkey. Right, or Back by Midnight. Oh, yeah, never saw Back by Midnight. Did you walk out of the Comedian? Did you want to walk out of the Comedian? Oh, no, but I had a copy of it,
Starting point is 00:22:54 and I had my thumb on the fast-forward button through 75% of it. Uh-huh. I went to see the Gilbert movie at the IFC Theater, and Gilbert was right behind me, and at some pointFC Theater, and Gilbert was right behind me. And at some point I turned around and he was no longer there. That's scary. That counts as a walkout. That's scary.
Starting point is 00:23:12 I have to say, sitting next to you, I had Louis Black next to me on one side and you on the other, which was very strange at your screening. And you were uncomfortable watching yourself. Oh, yeah. I still can't get used to seeing myself up there and yeah is it is easier to watch yourself in a performance yeah watch yourself and like i always say if i if i'm joe the plumber then i'm fine right but gilbert is gilbert when we when we when you saw it for the first time here in the studio, it's the first time I've ever seen you go like five minutes without saying a word. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:49 You were really kind of shell-shocked. Yeah. Yeah, that threw me. Still throws me. Here's a good one. Let's see. This is from our pal Gene Beretta. Gene's a very good friend of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:24:01 And he has a parrot on his shoulder. He does. Don't do the time if you can't. the crime if you can't do the time. Gene is the guy that did that wonderful drawing of the kids throwing the orange wedges that's in your living room. And it turned up in the documentary. Gene wants to know if there was
Starting point is 00:24:15 a biopic on Gilbert, who would he choose to play him? Well, they're in negotiations with Zac Efron. Really? Yeah, yeah. But it's so obvious.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I would have thought you would go for Yafit Koto. Because he's a Jew. And if he can't do it, Delroy Lindo. Delroy Lindo? Yes. For the first time, the Delroy Lindo has been mentioned on this podcast. We should get Delroy Lindo on the podcast. He's an interesting guy.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Yeah. That's a thought. that's a thought. That's a thought. And what is Ving Rhames doing? Nothing. He's doing voiceovers. He is? For commercials.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Yeah. Yeah, he does those. Oh, what the hell are they? They're fast food commercials. Barley Marie. Barley Marie. Any chance of Marlo Thomas or Cheryl Ladd co-guesting? Probably not.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Let's see. Did Gilbert, we did that one. Fred Jenkins, I dragged my whole family to the Stoogeum after the Billy West episode. You know about the Stoogeum? No, I don't. The Stoogeum. The Stoogeum is apparently a museum of three stooges. Oh, I thought it was a museum for Stu Gilliam. It was for Stu Gilliam.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Also a great reference. Stu's gone, or we would ask him to do the show. Oh, yeah. Where is the Stoogeum? It's somewhere in rural Pennsylvania. I think not far from our pal Drew Friedman's house. Nobody actually knows where it is. He wants to know, have you been?
Starting point is 00:25:46 No. And would you consider a remote recording from the Stu Gym? Live at the Stu Gym. I can't even get him to go downtown to do a live show. We're going to go to rural Pennsylvania. Matthew Bradley Churgy or Churgy T-S-C-H. What do the GGAP hosts drink to
Starting point is 00:26:10 wet their whistle during recordings? You have a little glass of vino every now and then. Yeah, when they have a free bottle. When there's a free bottle here. When Frank is nice enough to go crack open a free bottle. Yeah, they used to have free bottles of wine here. They got wise to you.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Yeah. Usually just high C is what we drink. Yeah. Tang. In honor of the Osmonds. Yeah. In honor of the astronauts, I drink Tang. Laura Pinto, along the Stoogeum question lines, thanks.
Starting point is 00:26:41 She's a friend of the podcast, too, and helped us with Ron Dante. Thanks so much for the opportunity to submit a question. Is there any chance you and Gilbert and Paul would ever take the GGA CP on the road? And by this, I mean, would you consider traveling to different cities around the country and recording?
Starting point is 00:26:57 Would we do something like that? Well, who, who is located in these different cities? Well, you know, fans have offered to put us up. Yeah. I think we should just stay. That's a scary thought.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I think the three of us should go on the road and stay overnight in someone's garage. If a fan offers to put you up, you don't want to stay with that fan. No. I found a recording of when Gilbert did stay at a fan's house and he tried to take some of the lotions and shampoos. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:27:24 Yeah, sure. I think they were trying to get it back. I can't tell. What's a fucking lotion in a basket? Yes! That's exactly... Wow! I didn't even recognize that one. Michael Stite.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Michael Stite. Oh! Oh! I just remembered something. After one of my shows in the middle of wherever, after the show, a guy came up to me and proudly
Starting point is 00:27:58 rolled up his sleeve and he had a tattoo of Irvay Villages. Oh, that is just wrong. So it's basically a tattoo of tattoo. So that was, and
Starting point is 00:28:13 yeah, he had a tattoo of Herve Villages. That's just wrong for so many reasons. If he invites you to stay with him, you don't want to stay with him. No, he wasn't one of the people in Offer. And you could practically hear Hervey Villages say, I want the money and the pussy that Tom Selleck gets. I should get that much pussy.
Starting point is 00:28:42 That's one of my favorites. To answer the previous question, Michael Stite, or Michael Sight, did any of the guests make you fear for your life? And if so, how close were you to calling the cops on Busey? Oh, Jeff. The only reason I didn't fear for my life is I was long distance. I was in New York. You were up close.
Starting point is 00:29:00 He was definitely one of those where you think it could happen any second. Yeah, yeah. It would have been great for the listeners, though. What a strange cat. If someone had lost their life. Mark Roman. This is not from your interviews, but I'll throw this out there. Gilbert was on a Fox show that aired once in the 90s called The Fracky Awards.
Starting point is 00:29:20 The Fracky Awards? It aired next to a John Lovett special. John's only special. It was on a Sunday sandwich next to the Ben Stiller show. Does Gilbert have any recollection of this show or what it was about? None whatsoever. Okay. But it sounds bad enough that I would agree to do it.
Starting point is 00:29:37 It does sound like something that you would have agreed to do. Let's go out on this one. Or maybe I'll lie and do this one. Um, hmm. Okay. Um. Tom Selleck gets blowjobbed. I should get blowjobbed.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Thanks for the filler. Thanks for the filler. Uh, this is a good one. Um. Thanks for the filler. This is a good one. Henry Kaplan, speaking of legendary stories, can Frank and Gilbert tell the famous Shecky Flaming Monkey Vegas story? I don't know the Flaming Monkey Vegas story.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Flaming Monkey Vegas. Do you know the Flaming Monkey Vegas story? I think Diane Cannon knows that one. Really? You guys, I'm surprised that sounds like that's right up your alley. Frank, do you have a tape of when the flaming, shaky green monkey broke into Diane Cannon's house? Ah! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:30:39 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! He is horrible! He is horrible! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He is horrible. He is horrible. Wonderful.
Starting point is 00:30:56 We'll close with this. James M. Hunt, are there any questions you— That's a name you don't want to say three times fast. And his brother Mike. Oh, yes. Right, right. James M. Hunt, are there any questions you ask that you wish you hadn't asked a guest? All the fucking time. Can you think of one?
Starting point is 00:31:16 No. Off the top of your head? I remember one question. Yeah. It was almost. Don't name any names. Almost coming out of my mouth. And because I was so certain.
Starting point is 00:31:29 And I was going to ask Tippi Hedren, you know, what was it like playing the mother in Carrie? And then you realize. And then I realized. It was Piper Lord. Yeah, a siren went off in my head. And it was like, you know... It changed course real fast.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Somewhat less embarrassing than when I slipped the card across the table telling you not to call Greg Evigan Glenn. Yes, yes. That was the best one. When you had to call Greg Evigan Glenn. Yes, yes. That was the best one. When you had to slip me a card to tell me don't call a guest
Starting point is 00:32:11 by a wrong name. Call him by his actual name. That would have to be the worst. This is the last one. We're past our cutoff point, so we'll do this quickly. Try to do this quickly.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Ed Marcus, could Gilbert please tell the story of how he pissed off Abe Hirschfeld on the Howard Stern show? Oh, that's one they'd have to listen to. Okay, okay. It was comedy genius. He wants you to know.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Okay, so we'll direct you to that and you'll have to find that. This was fun. Yeah. This was fun. How many do you think we got to? About 25? Was it?
Starting point is 00:32:46 Was it that many? 30? Yeah. We'll do another one. We'll do another one next week because there's so many here, and we'll do something a little different. We're going to have Paul read them next time. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:32:55 And fire them at us. Oklahoma was set in Oklahoma. Thanks for doing that. Yes. Thanks for doing that. How about the best little whorehouse in Texas? Yeah. Where was that set? I've got to look
Starting point is 00:33:05 that up. That was a fun mini episode. We hope you guys will if you're hearing this and you're hearing your name, you've joined Stitcher, so congratulations and welcome. You want to take us out, sir?
Starting point is 00:33:21 This has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal Obsessions. Can't work with this man. With the Southern Blues Black Star, Raybone. I think the Raybone thing's going big. Yeah, I think it's going viral. It's being picked up by the fans, and we're going to put a band together. Yep.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Thank you, Paul Raybone. Thank you, Frank. Thank you, Gil. We'll see you next week with more of your questions. Colossal Obsessions. Colossal Obsessions.

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