Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #169: Gilbert Sings!

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

This week: The Paul Raybone Band! Paging Gordon Lightfoot! Ed Sullivan blows the joke! And Bernie Taupin teams with Peter Lorre! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Ontario, got any plans? How about a trip to the casino right here, right now? With DraftKings Casino, all your favorite games are in the palm of your hand. Play the classics like blackjack, roulette, slots, and baccarat. Or take a spin on exclusive games you won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone. Download the app and play whatever, wherever, and whenever. Your options for fun are endless.

On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play. Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means. The best part is it's safe, secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino.

The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly.

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell.

To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording a nutmeg with our engineer Frank Perderosa, Frank Perderosa, and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions with legendary blues singer Skinless Raybone. He's skinless. Yes. I lose another body part every time. To be born without skin. Yes.

To be born without skin. Yes. Well, I heard a crocodile swam past him and scraped the skin. Wow. I heard he was boneless. Yeah. And as a result, a world-class limbo champion. Is there no truth to that?

It's difficult to confirm being skinless because what am I talking with? Boneless Paul Ray Bones. And I think they designed that educational model of the visible man that they used to have in classrooms. And yet I'm not hearing the traditional blues music, the Paul Ray Bones. Here's the interesting phenomenon. We've become the Ray Bones band, as you know, has become quite a hit on the internet. The only problem is we've yet to record a single song. I see. So we're working on that.

Me and the band. And I should say before anything else, Will Jordan, thankfully, is out of the hospital oh good glad to hear that yeah and and he was telling people how touched he was that that i came over and saw him that's nice that's a nice thing that's nice we love will yeah he was great here and we're glad that he is on the mend uh other housekeeping before we start this actual premise. I saw you on the John Oliver show. Oh, yes. Yes. You were funny.

Yeah. You don't have to act so incredulous. Darren gave me a heads up on Facebook that he was going to be on John Oliver and my wife went to sleep.

No offense. My son in New Zealand sent me an email and said, you got to watch this link here. And there's a five-minute version of it. I don't know if they've shown it yet. They ran it through the credits after they did the bit.

Oh, yeah? Oh, okay. They seem to love you over there. Yeah, that was a very funny one. Last time I was there, I was the voice of... Jared Kushner. Jared Kushner. Yeah.

So they come up with strange ideas. Our friend Tim Carvell, the head writer on that show, is a brilliant guy. It's a very funny show. The other thing is Steve Hanna, our favorite Photoshop artist. I assume by now you've seen Maria Juspenskaya. Oh, yes. Yes. I assume by now you've seen Maria Juspenskaya.

Oh, yes. Yes. Gilbert likes to talk about Maria Juspenskaya, who played the gypsy. But who doesn't? Who doesn't? Because the kids love it. What is the name of the character she plays in The Wolfman? Maliva. Yeah, it just went out of my head.

Maliva. And Steve Hanna, the talented Photoshop artist, we seem to credit every week, did a drawing. It's on Twitter. I'll send it to you. Paul's staring at me like a Weimaraner stares at someone playing the kazoo. How he goes into singing one of those songs out of nowhere. That's the amazing thing about Ray Va so check out steve hanna on twitter check out his his maria jews spends kaya with gilbert yes as maleva it's a wonderful a wonderful

work of art and uh and that's it that's all i have that's all i have for housekeeping. I think so. Who died since... Nobody died. I am reeling, though, with joy and glee. I'm abuzz from having Peter Fonda in the booth a couple of minutes ago. And it's ridiculous. He's like near 80. Yeah. He's in great shape.

He said he was born in 1940. Yeah. He's sharp and funny and energetic and we loved having him here. Yeah. Before entertainment fans go crazy hearing this episode, Anthony Bourdain

would take issue with the fact that we said nobody died. Oh, yes. Yes. Anthony Bourdain and also... Did you just call him

Anthony Bourdain? Bourdain. He's not the blues musician. Was he Jethro's brother? Yeah. He was one shot Bourden. He's another blues musician. Was he Jethro's brother? He was one shot Bo Deen. He opened for us. He got new blues music.

And who else, that woman? Kate Spade. Oh, yes. Yes, but these are not, well, Kate Spade is not really a show business or an entertainment person. But they were both in Abbott and Costello meet the Wolfman. I didn't realize that. I bet Costello

would make purses. I didn't realize. I've learned so much from this show. Well, we should take the opportunity and broaden out into fashion. I think that would be

a good place for us to go. You can no longer say anything without having a... I'll put on my smoking... Put on my smoking jacket. All right, let's get down to business here. This is not producer of the month.

This is Gilbert Sings. Yes. Because you haven't favored us in such a long time. I know. And angry mobs. They are. Pitchforks. You don't like to disappoint your fans.

So, we decided to see what was on Patreon. I continue to disappoint my fans. You do. But just for the record, I don't like it. David Komarowski, our old friend David Komarowski, who just sent us cufflinks, by the way. Yes. So, we want to thank him for the cufflinks. Can I say, David, those are real cheap shit cufflinks by the way yes so we want to thank him for the cufflinks with some can i say david those are real cheap shit they were both falling apart i'm trying to thank the man

they were both falling apart and and and uh frank said to me yeah which ones do you want? There's a monkey on one, and there's the godfather on the other. And I said, I really don't give a fuck. These are pretty worthless. It's the thought that counts. Well, it has to be. Don't listen to him. Because it's not the merchandise. I'm going to enjoy my Vito Corleone cufflinks.

Don't listen to him. You're going to cut the buttons off your tops. Do fans send you guys a lot of neckties? We get a lot of stuff. We get a lot of stuff. We get a lot of weird stuff from fans. And I don't know what to say except keep it coming. Oh, and then who sent that book?

Be careful. We got sent a book of those authors from the back of comic books. Dara's out there. Oh, I didn't see that. Who sent that book? Did anybody send you any Monster Times? You solicited Monster Times. Yeah, and they never did.

I want the Monster Times. We'll put it out there again. I didn't get one single $20 bill I want you to know. I can't find that tweet. Oh, let's see. Who sent this? Okay, this was sent by Tim Knight. Thank you, Tim Knight.

Yeah, and it's just all these great, ridiculous heads from the back of comic books, and there's even a card here where they have the miniature live monkeys. Oh, I like monkeys. I was just going to ask. I can't remember the name of the book, but somebody sent a long, like a year ago Yeah, he's around. That book. Mail Order Mysteries. And we were going to do

an episode mini about that. Yeah, he's somewhere in the Midwest. I've been trying to track him down. That's like everything from every comic book ever. Yeah, and his name is escaping me. But the challenge there is getting an engineer to him. But we'll revisit it. And this we've talked about a few times. You could actually send away.

It was legal. Well, I'm sure it was 1,000% illegal. The monkeys? Yeah. Yeah. You could send away for live monkeys. I got a Mickey Dolenz once. Ah, see.

Why do I bother? Why do you bother? I'll trade you my Nesmith. After 200 shows, I wasn't aware you were bothering. I had to. I was after 200 shows I wasn't aware you were bothering

I had yes we're gonna do David Komarovsky song request after he he first he requested

that Gilbert do Abraham Martin and John in the style of Moms Mabley anybody here see my

old friend Moms but this being 1968 I thought that would be in poor taste I hear the mouth of my... But this being 1968, I thought that would be in poor taste. As he has just... Demonstrated. Demonstrated. So we'll take David's second suggestion, which is Chris Christopherson's wonderful Me and Bobby McGee.

Yeah. Which I know you are familiar with. Yes. And I have some lyrics here for you. Okay. And then Paul Raybone, boneless Raybone, headless Raybone, will give us some trivia. He'll give us some facts.

Gluten-free Raybone. You want to try this one, Frank? Oh. This is for David Komarowski. Frank's going to give you the music. And just do a couple of bars. Okay. Because I think that's all any of us can tolerate.

Sing by the door. We'll help you out. Okay. And Janice is gone. Sorry. You don't want to hear her turn and spin. Let's give him a lead in there, Frank. My feet flat and back root,

heading for the train, feeling nearly faded as my jeans. Bobby thumbed the diesel down just before it rained, Look at Tara's face. This is all behind. And then they whipped your wife and slapped and touched. And Bobby clapped and we finally sang up there. Bobby, it's just another word for nothing left to lose. And nothing, I mean, nothing on a 50-day free. And nothing on a free day is free.

Feeling good was easy when Bobby sang the blues. And Bobby was good enough for me. Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee. Gilbert is the perfect... Gilbert made Janis Joplin sound like Maria Callas, I think. The perfect fail. Not Charlie Callas is what I was thinking. But there was a blend in vocal harmony there. I have no words.

Wikipedia is being changed to update how she died now that's funny wow what can we say about this uh this song well I can tell you something about Chris Christopherson who we would think of as a kind of a rebel and a freewheeling guy yeah he wrote this song he sure did his father was a general in the Pentagon so he he apparently, we don't know how, if he had troubles with his father like Peter Fonda had troubles with his father, but Chris Christopherson's a complicated guy. Maybe we should get him.

I'm going to do a tie-in. In Peter Fonda's book, Peter Fonda was just here, he relates story of Chris Christopherson on the set of Dennis Hopper's The Last Movie, the one we were talking about with the supposed orgies. Yes. Chris Christopherson played the set of Dennis Hopper's The Last Movie, the one we were talking about with the supposed orgies. Yes. Chris Christofferson played this song

for him. And someone wrote this on Patreon having no idea that he was going to be here. It's a coincidence. Too bad we never had a chance to interview Dennis Hopper. Yeah, he's gone. That would have been interesting to get his side of the story.

Me and Bobby McGee of course made famous by Janis Joplin Yeah, he's gone. Yeah. That would have been interesting to get his side of the story. That we just said. Me and Bobby McGee, of course, made famous by Janis Joplin, was, I believe, originally performed by Roger Miller of King of the Road. No. I can throw, before Janis did it, Gordon Lightfoot also did it. Did he? Wow. I don't know whether he did it before. I love Gordon.

We've got to get Gordon Lightfoot on this show. That would be a get. You know, I think he was just in New York. Or Helen Reddy. Don't tell me that. Any other Canadians. Is Helen Reddy Canadian? Is she?

I think she is. I think she's on Aussie. She's a, yeah? Oh, she is. Yes. Who's the? Anne Murray's Canadian. Anne Murray.

Anne Murray's Canadian. Close enough. Joni Mitchell is Canadian. She is. And Alan Thicke was Canadian. Very good. And Pierre Trudeau. Yes. We is Canadian. She is. And Alan Thicke was Canadian. Very good. And Pierre Trudeau. Yes.

We could do this all day. Justin Trudeau. Roger Miller covered it. Kenny Rogers in the first edition. Charlie Pryde. Gilbert's favorite, Ramblin' Jack Elliott. Yes. Sam the Sham.

Wow. Willie Deluise. Riding Hood. So apparently, According to this 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Gordon Lightfoot Bill Haley and his comets Do tell

Jeez Who was Little Red Riding Hood Was that Sam Was that Sam Sam the Sham And the Pharaohs Yeah Didn't they have another one

Wooly Bully Wooly Bully Oh yeah But according to this And we always trust Wikipedia That's how many people Recorded it Before Janis Joplin made it into a number one single. How about that? But that was pre-Janis Joplin, Gilbert Gottfried.

Oh, wow. Yeah. That was... Other artists to cover it are Arlo Guthrie, Loretta Lynn, Willie Nelson, the Statler Brothers. How about that? Geez. Jerry Lee Lewis. Yeah.

And a band called the Impotent Sea Snakes. Yes. That comes from the back of the comic book. Yes. So, David, I hope you're happy. You got your wish. I don't know what to make of that cover. If David's happy, we're happy.

Yeah. If David's happy, we're happy. We love to please our fans. Roger Miller's another guy I wish had lived long enough to do this show. Boy, oh boy. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast after this. Hey, Ontario, got any plans? How about a trip to the casino right here, right now?

With DraftKings Casino, all your favorite games are in the palm of your hand. Play the classics like blackjack, roulette, slots, and baccarat. Or take a spin on exclusive games you won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone. Download the app and play whatever, wherever, and whenever. Your options for fun are endless. On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play. Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means. The best part is it's safe,

secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the app store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over and physically present in Ontario.

Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Here's another request. This comes from Chris Kason. C-A-S-O-N. I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I would love to hear Gilbert either do Love American style or the Love Boat theme.

Now, because the Love Boat theme was written by our friend. Yes, Paul Williams. The great Paul Williams. Yes. Our former podcast guest and pal. I pick that one. Love great Paul Williams. Yes. Our former podcast guest and pal. I pick that one. Love exciting and new. Okay.

We don't know how he's going to do this one. Let's, let's. Oh, my God. Please don't ever let Paul hear this. So, it'll be me as Paul Williams. If you want to do it that way, here we go. Here's the lyric. No.

Exciting good news. Wait for the lyric. When you snort the early eggs. Exciting and Wait for the lyric. When it snorks the earlier. It floats back to you. And I know my sweetest report.

Let it flow. It floats back to you. The longboard, we'll be making another run. The longboard, promise is something for everyone Set a course for adventure You'll find a new romance And love won't hurt anymore It's an open smile On a Frenchy show It's love

With a bubble It's not Well... Wow. You're a twisted individual. If anything's going to sink the love boat, that was it. Is there anything you'd like to add? What could I possibly add? Yeah. This is the Rainbow theme music.

It's conflicting with the Gilbert Sings. Thank God for Paul Williams' sake that he went on to other things. I don't think this would have made his career. I'll tell you what, Gil. Yes. With that tune, with that rendition, Yes. you not only potentially offended a previous guest,

Oh, yeah. you potentially offended a future guest. Oh. Because Charlie Fox, who we've been trying to get on the guest. Oh, yeah. You potentially offended a future guest. Oh. Because Charlie Fox, who we've been trying to get on the show. Oh, yes. Who you also wrote Ready to Take a Chance Again, which I believe you sang to Chevy. Yes. Paul Williams collaborated with Charles Fox.

Wow. On this song. It was recorded as a theme song for the Love Boat, broadcast between 1977 and 1986. Did you know that was on that long? I did not know that. This was quite an accomplishment for me. Yes, yes. You've cut quite a swath.

Swath. Jones' version was used in all seasons apart from the ninth, where it was replaced by Dionne Warwick's version. Jack Jones' version, I should say. Jack Jones, alive and well. Wow. Gotta talk to him. And his father worked Jones version, I should say. Jack Jones, alive and well. Wow. Gotta talk to him. And his father worked with whom? The Marx Brothers.

Look at Gilbert. Yeah. How about that? Yeah. Jones released the track himself as a single in 1979 as Love Boat Theme. Here it is on MGM Records. With a cover of the Barry Manilow song, Ready to Take a Chance Again on side B.

So we've got to get our hands on this. And I'm ready to take a chance again. There you go. Yes. Norman Steinberg, who did this show. You know Norman, the Blazing Saddles writer. He said you've got to get Charlie Fox. Yes.

And so we got in touch about Charlie Fox. And he said, Charlie will do it if Gilbert doesn't sing any of his songs. And that was a deal breaker. That was a deal breaker. Here's some covers. Actress and singer Charo. Charo. Boy, she'd be interesting for us.

Oh, yes. Should we try Charo? And I worked with her on Hollywood Squares. You did? What was she like? She was great. Charo? She's one of those people very much like Sofia Vergara, who the longer she stays in America, the thicker her Spanish accent becomes, which is quite unusual.

That's very funny. Like Googie Gomez and the Ritz. I heard a story that Jack Jones was on the Ed Sullivan show. And Sullivan was famous for not knowing a thing. Of course. And he was going to say, oh, he said to Jack Jones during rehearsal on stage, he says, so your father was Alan Jones? And he goes, well, he still is Alan Jones. Hilarious. He's alive.

Hilarious. And so that got a big laugh, and they said, okay, Ed, do that on the air. And on the air, Ed Sullivan goes, so Jack, your father's dead, isn't he? It's hilarious. As Richard Kind would say, That's hilarious! Hilarious! Olivia Newton-John covered it.

Your friend. Oh, that's right. You love to point out her heritage. Jew. Yes. Olivia Newton-John covered it. Your friend. Oh, that's right. You love to point out her heritage. Jew. Yes. Olivia Newton-John's a Jew, and her father and uncle are supposed to be like super. I think it's her grandfather was a Nobel Prize winning chemist. Yeah, they're like super geniuses.

You want to look that up? Let's find it. Raybone? I can see what I'm saying. Ridiculous chemist. Yeah, they're like super geniuses. You want to look that up? Let's find out. Ray Bone? I can see what I can find. Ridiculous genius level. Yeah. I think her grandfather was Niels Bohr. Does that name mean anything to you?

Niels Bohr. Niels Bohr. I believe that's, unless I'm pulling this out of my tush, I believe that was, I could be totally wrong, but I think that's Olivia Newton-John's uncle or grandfather. Let's check that out. Anyway, Dionne Warwick covered this. Jacques Raymond covered it in Belgium.

And, of course, Charo, as Gilbert pointed out. And the Belgian band Swoop. Does that mean anything to you? I have all their albums. You're big in Antwerp. Yes. In Antwerp, I'm considered a genius. I didn't realize that.

Like Jerry. Yes. Yeah, it's a Jerry thing. They consider me the next chaplain. All right, while Paul is trying to find out who Olivia Newton-John's Nobel Prize winning family member is or was. Oh, here we go. We'll do our. Do I have the right person?

I'm not quite. Well, I've got... Let's see. Her Jewish maternal grandfather was Nobel Prize winning physicist Max... Max Born. I'm way the hell off. It was Niels Bohr. And Max Born.

Okay. Max Born. So they're both Nobel winners. Led to England before the war. There you go. In Germany. Pretty impressive. But the important thing is Olivia Newton-John Germany. Pretty impressive. But the important thing is

Olivia Newton-John's a Jew. That's the important thing. Does it say that there? It doesn't, but it also doesn't say whether Max Born could sing. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, but he was supposed to be some, like, super intellectual. Yeah. She comes from interesting stock. Here's our last song, and this is from Derek Herr, or Herr, H-E-R-R. And this one is going to hurt me personally because this is a song that I'm very fond of. What? The others didn't?

This song shares its name with the first album I ever bought in 1973. Here we go, Gilbert. This is a special request. Now, he requests that you sing it as Peter Lorre. So here goes nothing and a song I used to love. I used to love. When are you going to come down?

When are you going to land? I should have stayed on the farm. I should have listened to my own man. You know you can hold me forever. I didn't sign up for you. I'm a present for your friends to open. This boy's too young to be singing the blues. Oooooooch! Oooooooch! Oooooooch! Oooooooch! Oooooooch!

Oooooooch! Yellow big road Where the dogs of society howl You can't prank me in your penthouse! I'm going back to my plow!

Back to the howling old owl in the woods, hunting the horny fat toad! Oh, I finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road! What do you think you'll do then? I'm gonna keep going. You'll do that? I'm going to keep going. It'll take a couple of vodka and tonics to set you on your feet again.

Maybe you'll get a replacement. There's plenty like me to be found Manchur to ain't got a penny Sniffing for teeth beats like you on the ground So good So goodbye Yellow Brick Road and that society owl. Oh lord. You can plant me in your penthouse. I'm going back to my plow. Back to the howling all island in the woods, hunting the horny bat toad.

Oh, I finally decided my future, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, how many of them stay through to the end of that. Who asked for this song? A gentleman. I lost the card. Can we strike him from the rolls permanently? Derek Her. H-E-R-R. Or Hair. Hair Derek.

Hair Derek. Derek the Hair. Now, that was the one that Elton John sang about Princess Diana, right? No. That was Candle in the Wind, for God's...

for corn's sake. Yeah. Paul, the king of pop culture references Ray Burns. Yeah, he is right on the spot. Was Gilbert asked to sing it for Princess Diana? He was not. He was not asked. No. Not a word. No. He was asked

not to sing. He was asked not to sing. Someone contacted me on Facebook about someone who's friends with Bernie Taupin. Taupin? Taupin. I think it's Taupin. Who listens to this show.

And I thought, wow, that would be an incredible. He does a show on SiriusXM. I know. And he's a talker. And he's interesting. And now it'll never happen. You know, he. It'll never happen. We know, it'll never happen.

We were that close. Yeah. So Bernie spent something like two weeks working on the lyrics for Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road, the album.

Mm-hmm. They were writing them fast in those days. Elton spent like three days to do the music. So a little more than two weeks, which means in the time

it takes us to do two podcasts, they sold 12 million records. There you go. Jeez. How do you feel about that? Can you imagine how many records they sold in time? It took Paul to look that up.

That's right. Let's see. The song was released in 1973 as the album's second single and entered the top ten in the UK and the United States. One of John's biggest hits and surpassed the previous single, Saturday Night's All Right, for fighting. The Yellow Brick Road is an image, of course, taken from the 1939 film adaptation of... Oh, of course, Wizard of Oz.

That's right. Yeah. That's right. And what is the album that allegedly you could play Wizard of Oz against? Oh, that would be Dark Side of the Moon. Oh, yeah. Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. And it works. Does it work? You've done it?

I had, years ago, a studio manager friend of mine took the laser disc of Wizard of Oz and the CD of Dark Side of the Moon and linked them up and made a VHS. And it was a lot of very eerie, trippy, spot-on moments. I never knew anybody

who actually did it. Yeah, it works. In 2010, Rolling Stone ranked Goodbye Yellow Brick Road as the number 380 in their list of the 500 greatest songs of all time. Yeah.

And the version that you just did is not in the top 500,000 of all time. But the flip side, the B-side of that record was called Screw You. There you go, Gil. And released in the U.S. under the title Young Man's Blues so as not to offend American record buyers. So there you go. That's all I got this week.

What's your favorite Elton John song? Oh my God. That's a long, I'm a mega fan, a super fan. So that's a long conversation. Gilbert, how about you?

Oh, God. Oh, so many. Oh boy. You know what? Take me to the pilot. Yeah,

I'm still standing. That's a good one. And what was the one that they played in Dog Day Afternoon? Oh, is that Amarina? It might be. I think it's Amarina from Tumbleweed Connection. My favorite album. That's a great record.

But I think my favorite Elton John song is his very first song. You know, It's a Little Bit Funny. Oh, well, his first hit. His first hit. Yeah. He had an album before that album. Oh, did he? Yeah, Empty Sky before Elton John. Is it wrong that I

like his Lucy in the Sky better than The Beatles? I like that one. I like that. It's really solid. It's trippier. It's strangely trippier. And John liked it. So it was the biggest tribute. I like a song called Elderberry Wine, which is on Don't Shoot Me. I'm only the piano player. But this is another show.

Another show. Gilbert? Yes? I am more impressed with you now than I think I've ever been. You did slip into Brother Theodore a couple of times during that. But that was beautiful. I don't think Peter Lorre will ever get a better tribute. I don't think so. I guess we get a better tribute. I don't think so.

I guess we'll never get his daughter on the show now. Is she around? I don't know. Peter Lorre's daughter? I don't know. She might be gone. Why were you turning into Jerry Lewis during the chorus? Yes.

Yeah, we're turning into... Because he's in the Patsy? Oh, that's right. And John Carradine. Right, and John Carradine. Oh, and Everett Sloan. Very good. Yeah.

Who I believe killed himself. He did? I think so. There you go. I'm usually the one who brings down the episodes. Everett Sloan was the voice of Dick Tracy. He was. In the cartoons.

He was. And if he didn't kill himself, I'm going to cut that out of this episode so you'll never hear it. And I think he wrote, it was never played or recorded, I think he wrote lyrics for Bonanza. Very cool.

Yeah. Well, that'll be for next week's show. Yeah. Bonanza is just, I just saw them on MeTV, which has suddenly got a channel number you can actually find. One day, I think, one of these shows will have to do these. All Bonanza? No, theme songs that had words, but we never knew the words to. Well, you just gave me an idea.

Yeah. For the next mini episode. Brilliant. Like the words to it. Well, you just gave me an idea for the next mini episode. Brilliant. Like the Star Trek theme. Oh, yes. That's right. And the Andy Griffith theme. Oh, yeah.

Which also has words. There's a Bonanza theme. Down by the fishing hole. I couldn't tell you. And there's another one. Oh, oh. We are all the manly men of war. We are marching in where thousands have before.

Very good. We'll do an episode on that. Dara's going to yell at us for doing a too long mini episode. Oh, okay. So this has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions with ribcage-less rape. Ribcage-less. Born without a ribcage-less rape. Ribcage-less. Born without a ribcage and no sternum.

Basically reduced to an amoeba at this point. Wow. No sternum. Ribcage-less. I admire your pluckiness. That actually could be

a nice stage name. Ribcage-less. Welcome, Mr. Cageless. See you next week.