Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #173: Gilbert & Frank Read Facebook and Twitter Questions, Part 2

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

This week: "Eyes Wide Shut"! "Petticoat Junction"! Randy Quaid holds a press conference! The Undersea World of Jean Cocteau! And Gilbert meets the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit mila.ca to learn more. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried. And I'm here with Frank Santopadre, and this is another episode of Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions with old black blues singer, Knuckles. He was born no knuckles. He was born without knuckles. That's got to be painful. I tried to have my head sewn back on after the last episode. And he can't visit people because he can't knock on the door.

Oh, that's sad. Why can't he kick it with a tapet with his foot? It's tragic. Hi, Paulie. It's tragic. Hi. I hope the readers and the fans love hearing about my medical reports because it means a lot to me.

At this point, that would be surreal. Did I thank Kirk Hammett on a previous episode for sending us wonderful swag? You did. Okay. Well, I don't have to do it again, but thank you. It's pretty fantastic. And also, Kirk, if you're listening, I'm the furthest thing from a medium. Right.

Thank you again, Kirk, for the wonderful swag. We will put that up on Facebook. If we haven't already, who knows when this episode will post. So here's what we're doing. We always read Twitter questions. We get complaints from the lovely fans and friends and folks at the Listener Society. Hey, why don't you do questions from us? So we're going to alternate.

I'm going to throw in some tweets. Paul's going to read some questions from the listener society frank is going to read some questions from the listener society sounds like complete chaos it does sound like complete chaos doesn't it gilbert's going to nap and everyone has a role i'm going into that zone where you're going to have to keep going, so, Gilbert, you wear shoes, right? Like the Billy Kramer episode? Yes, yes. That's now known as a Peter Fonda.

So we will try to answer as many of these as we could possibly get to. This could take hours. In the time allotted. It's summer. It's 740 fucking degrees in this booth. Gilbert had a stroke 20 minutes ago. And here we go. Paul, you want to kick us off? Alright, from Todd Ginter. Now this is a bit of a trick question, I think. What is the origin of Gilbert

giving such a long and detailed introduction to each guest? How do you do it, Gilbert? Well, I think it's when we're not sure if the guest has anything to say. We fill it up with an intro. I think there's a couple of reasons for it. We try to remind people of all that they've done to get them up to speed because the show is an historical document. These are kept in the Library of Congress at the Smithsonian, actually. Well, we try to cover the entire guest's career. The other thing is it's a nice warm-up.

Richard Kind calls the show a 60-minute blowjob, which is very flattering. It's kind of a, Richard Kine calls the show a 60 minute blowjob, which is very flattering. And it's 90 minutes. 90 minute blowjob. We try to flatter the guests by putting as much of their accomplishments in there as we possibly can. And then they were shorter if you go back and you listen to the old episodes. And over time, they've just expanded

and expanded and became a running joke. Well, I'll tell you what I like about them. Every introduction goes along and it's nice and does what you say. And there's always a sneaky little kicker at the end, you know, like... Yeah, we put one in. Yeah. Please welcome a man who... Who was the only person ever to have stepped off. Correct. There's always a twist ending. Gilbert always has a quip about them being found dead in their Los Angeles apartment. It's part of the level of art people don't understand. A lot of thought and time goes into them.

Okay, did that answer that question? I think so. Okay. All right, Frankie, you're up. I've got a Listener Society member, Laura Ciani, or Ciani, I'm not really sure. Okay. Is Gil watching I'm Dying Up Here? And if yes, what is his take are you watching

the showtime show i'm dying up here wow i've lost track of how many of these shows about comedians there are movies about comedians yes some that you're in yeah this is not the one with arty lang no i yeah i did an episode of crash crash crashing and oh Yeah, I did an episode of Crash. Crash Crashing. Oh, Crashing. Right. I did an episode of Crashing, Judd Apatow's show. This isn't the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. He's in that too. Yes.

He's in the pilot. Yeah. I'm in, yeah, the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I do a short bit in the pilot. And you're in the comedian, the De Niro picture. With Robert De Niro, yeah. Right. You're in the original Enter De Niro picture with Robert De Niro yeah right and you're in the original

Enter Laughing with Rennie Santoni are you not we gotta get Rennie Santoni we'll put the word out find Rennie Santoni you know who else

was in the pilot Marlon Brando and I think the pilot at the time was was that comedian yeah yeah Richard Pryor

yes I know where you're going I don't know does this have to do with uh marlon brando fucking richard pryor and that came in at the five minute mark that we broke a record you are but you are not watching if i may you are not watching i'm dying up here uh no i don't think i've ever seen an episode i think it's loosely based on the uh on the comedy store in Mitzi. I think the main character is based on Mitzi Shore.

Not to be confused with I'm Dying In Here, loosely based on this show. Yes. And 170 degrees in this booth at the moment. All right, Raybone. So I got a couple of different responses here that I think work together. Okay. Yeah. Tell us.

Ed Marcus says, any possibilities of golden age porn stars such as Jerry Butler, Rod Jeremy, or Kay Parker. Jerry Butler was a soul singer. Or would be golden age porn stars such as Gilbert Gottfried

who is never quite a golden age porn star on the show. Now, here's... Who was that one? I think he may have died, though. The one that looked like Elliot Gould? Jamie Gillis?

No, no, not Jamie Gillis. Elliot Gould. But the one from Deep Throat. Johnny Holmes. John Holmes. Not John Holmes. The other guy. I don't know.

Gerard Damiano. Was it Rex? He was the director. I'm throwing names out. Was it Rex something? Paul, for Christ's sake. He can't research. He's asking questions.

Can you find out of deep throats? I'll research it. It was famous. Harry Reams. Harry Reams. Harry Reams is dead. Yeah, yeah. A lot of those guys died.

Jamie, I think, what's his name, died? I think Jamie Gillis died. Yeah, he died. Harry Reams is dead. John Holmes is dead. Only the good die. Marilyn Chambers is dead. Bacini is dead.

Stracci. Mowgreen. Here's the interesting thing. Randy Phillips. But Michael, I am the hunted one. He's doing the Turk. He's doing Sollozzo. Also dead, by the way.

That actor. He was terrific. What the hell was his name? It just jumped out of my head. Al Atiri. Yeah. Also gone. He was also in... He was in The Getaway. Yeah, in The Getaway. He was in the second part of The Getaway. And he was in that movie with Charles Bronson. Mr. Majestic? Yes.

Very good. Very good. Look at how the two of us work in concert. We're like Sandler and Young. There are seven billion people on Earth and only two of you know all of us. Come marching in. SF by G. I want to be in that number. All right.

What were you saying, Rainbow? So here's the deal. So if we could get some of these people who weren't dead. Randy Phillips writes in and says, Any chance of you guys ever starting a video podcast? Now, that would be perfect. Golden Age Porn Stars on a video podcast. That's another loaded question.

There are many reasons why we don't do video on the podcast. And that's foremost among them. I've explained them in the past. I may explain it again. Part of the reason, too, and I think Gil will agree. Gil, I'm over here. Yes. Part of the reason, too, and I think Gil will agree.

Gil, I'm over here. Yes. No, you're just supposed to say, Gil, you've listened to podcasts, haven't you? Gil, you use shoelaces. Yes. This show relies upon candor. Yes. And the stars kind of telling fly on the wall, you know, fly on the wall, tales out of school stories. We worry that if we shoved a camera in their face, they would be more self-conscious and less forthcoming.

It's kind of like there have been situations where I've been with other comics at a table and we're joking and having laughs and a good time. And people say, oh, you know, a bunch of comics sitting around the table every week, that would be hysterical. And it's like if you made it into an actual show, everyone would come there with like prepared material. Everybody would be self-conscious. It would freeze up and you'd lose the spontaneity of it. Like the spontaneity we have here.

Yes. That leads to a question from Ed Marcus. You're going to miss out on this magic. Ed Marcus wants to know, and Ed's got a lot of questions. I'm just going to pick this one. Go ahead. Because it ties into another comment. Has anyone ever pitched Gil on a starring on a TV show?

And what's funny is during the Bill Macy clip we put up months ago, if people remember that, Greg Pear commented that Bill Macy should be cast as Gil's father in a sitcom, which I think would be pretty great. Well, I believe Larry David wrote a sitcom for Gilbert. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah, Norman's Corner.

Was that supposed to be a one-off or was that supposed to be a pilot for a series? It was what they call and get your punch lines ready it's what they call in the business a backdoor pilot ah we already did that we already talked about brando and yeah and and what that means is that you don't actually say it's a pilot you show it as a special with the hopes got it that it'll get made into a series right and this one was pretty hopeless as my memory serves that was called as part of the cinemax comedy experiment yes yes that was a failed experiment yeah norman's corner written by larry david it Larry David. It's on YouTube. And I've said this before, but it's worth repeating.

Arnold Stang's great in it, by the way. It was my idea to have Arnold Stang. That was the best part. But the best part about it is when they were pitching Seinfeld as a series, they said, well, who's going to write it? And they said, Larry David. And the studio exec said, isn't he that guy that wrote that piece of shit?

Gilbert Gottfried. And the rest is history. Yes. So I've got another one here from Jim Wright. Okay. If this is too personal, Gilbert, don't feel you have to answer. Oh, yes. Does Gilbert still pop into clubs and work out material,

or does he only work when he is guaranteed to get paid and have a free meal? That's it. Yeah. I think you've answered the question. Is Jim Wright a club owner? I don't know. You're not one to work out new material in a club. You're not one to pop in.

I used to be obsessed with working out new stuff. And pop in. Yeah, and popping in. Yeah. Now it's like I have to force myself to work when I'm getting paid to work. Right. Yeah. What a treat that must have been for comics, for an audience who came to a show just to see, you know, open micers or you would pop in.

Yeah. And hey, Gilbert Gottfried's here to try out some new Corbett Monica material. Yeah. New jokes about Esther Rolle. Yeah. Imagine if your waiter was robert mitchum it might go something like this i miss the days of the poppin yes all right verterosa uh joe montoto wants to know what is the boy's opinion of the swimmer being able to be seen as the unofficial precursor to falling down and eyes wide shut as hold as hold it to be as i as i hold it to be i can't read the swimmer is the precursor to eyes wide shut and falling down not quite getting that

are you i'm not getting that either having seen all three of them and they're very different yeah i mean eyes wide shut is about infidelity and obsession and and trust and sexual obsession and and falling down is about a guy who snaps and and and fights back against the system eyes wide shut meant Shut meant to be watch, start to finish, or just fast forwarded through? I may have done it wrong. To watch her name's ass. What was Nicole Kidman? Nicole Kidman. Yeah.

In that movie, greatest ass ever. Yeah. Yeah. That was just perfect. Good thing your wife's not here to hear that. Yes. I concur. I concur.

Yeah. Perfect. Good thing your wife's not here to hear that. Yes. I concur. Yeah, and Nicole Kidman, God bless her, especially her early days, she had no problem getting naked for movies. God bless her. Yeah. Our favorite kind of actress. Yes. If only Marie Dresler was like that. Something you don't say about Mildred Natwick.

If only Thelma Ritter. Macy's ain't got any. Nobody's got any. Mr. Raybone? I lost the listeners. Nice job. Paul Raybone, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

Well, without knuckles, it's hard to work i know it's your knuckle knuckleless you're really up against it i think what he meant to ask was what joel beaver was going to ask which is will you ever get any of the petticoat junction girls on the podcast by which i think they mean as a guest well let's see uh matt the petticoat junction girls Well, let's see. The Petticoat Junction girls. I don't think I ever watched an episode of Petticoat Junction. Edgar Buchanan as Uncle Joe.

Oh, that's right. Here's Uncle Joe. He's moving kind of slow at the junction. Petticoat Junction. Great theme song. And I remember that was about the height of sexuality when they throw their dresses over the water. Yeah, the water tower. I don't...

Probably not. Probably a little obscure for us unless they did a lot of other stuff. We tend to run into trouble with guests who've done what and famous for one thing. But remember the show fondly. I've got one from Mark Loftus.

Okay. Mark Loftus wants to know How did the Richard Donner episode Not have a question about George Maharis And Perfecto Tellez I'll edit out Max in the back later We keep the screaming to a minimum out there How did the Richard Donner episode

Not have a question about George Maharis And Perfecto Tellez We had to fit in the Danny Thomas story. I guess he means because what he's leaving out is, does he mean because Richard Donner directed episodes of Route 66 with George Maharis? I guess

that's where he's going there. Oh, then we're going to have to get Richard Donner back. Get him back. Just for that purpose. What do you got, Ray Barone? Well, I don't know where the hell I am here. This guy may have never heard the podcast, but let's go with it anyway. The perfect storm of Hollywood lore, outlaw exploits, and nut job conspiracy theories. Who's he talking about?

Randy Quaid. Right. Can we get Randy Quaid as a guest? You got a net? I would love to have Randy Quaid on the show. Gilbert enjoys the meltdown guests. Yes. He likes a Corey Feldman, a Gary Busey.

Gilbert would be happy to interview David Berkowitz through plexiglass on this show. Or the dog. He's not particular. My favorite thing with Randy Quaid is when he went into hiding in Canada and in Canada held a press conference to announce, I'm hiding out in Canada. My favorite was the sex clip he released of him

and his wife Evie wearing masks. Oh, jeez. That was even more disturbing. Nobody would know who it was. Nobody would know it was Randy Quaid. After like the fifth time,

I'm like, I'm not watching this anymore. Exactly. Excellent in the last detail, in Quick Change, in so many movies. Terrific actor. Yeah, very fun. Tony Shalhoub was great in Quick Change. Tony Sh movies. Terrific actor. Yeah, very funny.

Tony Shalhoub was great in Quick Change. Tony Shalhoub we should get. We should do. He's in New York. He's been here at Nutmeg a number of times. I recorded him

for a couple of movies and he's starring just up there. Tell Darren to put Tony Shalhoub on the list. He just won a Tony so he's going to be harder to get than he would have been

a week ago. Oh, stop. This show has cred, baby. I did three episodes of Wings. There you go. There you go. Were you on Monk? No.

Okay. All right. We're going to chase Tony Shalhoub. Nothing that happened in the past five decades. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Baseball is finally back. Get in on Major League action and swing for the fences with BetMGM, the king of sportsbooks.

Log in or sign up to play along as BetMGM brings the real-time action. Embrace a season's worth of swings with BetMGM, your one-stop shop for all things baseball. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In season three, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade a michelin star with golden globe and emmy wins the show starring jeremy allen white io debris and maddie matheson is ready to heat up screens once again all new episodes of fx's the bear are streaming june 27 only on disney plus okay who's up next? I got one pulled up.

This ties back to the gifts we got from Kirk Hammett. But Terry Motley wants to know, most prized memorabilia owned by each of you? Oh, my gosh. Memorabilia? Oh, God. Is it your... I know that.

Did you keep Herman the Asiatic Insect all these years? Oh, yes. Okay, you still have it. And I thought that one was lost, and we were looking for something else, and I thought, oh my God, there it is. Wow. And I have that poster of Frankenstein. Yeah, that's good.

That's a cool... What is the... That's vintage, that poster of Frankenstein? That's an original? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. You bought that in the 60s? Yeah, when I was a kid.. That's a cool. What is it? That's vintage, that poster, Frankenstein? That's an original? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. You bought that in the 60s? Yeah, when I was a kid.

When I was a kid. That's in Gilbert's living room. Yeah. So get ready to snort some Coke or whatever. Oh, it's the drinking game. I was a kid. Yeah, I ordered that. And I also have an autographed Wolfman photo signed by Lon Chaney.

Very cool. Wow. Very cool. I don't have a lot of great merch that I've held onto over the years. I've gone back and bought some of it. I bought some Green Hornet stuff from the 60s at Comic-Cons and such. But my favorite, my prized possession is my personalized letter from Frank Capra, but that's not memorabilia.

I'll talk about it sometime on the show. Well, you've got the Gilbert. One of my favorite things of yours that I've seen are the life masks. Those are great. Oh, yeah. He's got great life masks. Yeah. Lon Chaney, Vincent Price, Beto Lugosi, and Al Pacino.

And Simon Oakland. Yes. My favorite memorabilia is the Gilbert-labeled shampoo bottles from the Scream of Death. Also great. They're hard to come by. I've got two autographed photos from Katharine Hepburn. Two? Yeah.

You know what's pretty cool is that Simpsons cartoon that you have in your bathroom. Yes. Two. Yeah, one of the artists drew a picture of me like post-coitus with Marge and Lisa. Yeah. And Marge is there with her tits out smoking a cigarette. That's a pretty cool thing. And me yelling, I love LA.

I wouldn't call it memorabilia. Yes. All right. Who's next? So here's one that you, let me see if you guys know this one. Kevin Rogers shared in a photo, a publicity photo from, let's see here. Claudia Jennings is in this, Maureen McCormick, William Conrad, and a bunch of other faces. Members of this group will know from 70s drive-in goodness.

Any idea? Maureen McCormick and William Conrad? It says, the poster says, this show contains 100 proof women running shine across the county line. Don't know it. Moonshine County Express. Moonshine County Express. They made a million of those things. They make it every night. When I hear William Conrad, I think about William Conrad sending mash notes to Joyce Van Patten, which she revealed on this show. Do you remember that,

Gilbert? Or calling her house and trying to get a date with her? Canon? Remember Canon? Yes. William Conrad? Yeah, and he used to always be on Rocky and Bullwinkle. He was the announcer for Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Another case there where you two have

unearthed Hollywood secrets that have never... Once again. Once again. Gilbert has crystallized my thoughts eloquently. And William Conrad was the original Marshall Dillon on the radio. Oh, yes. Yes. When Gunsmoke was a radio drama. Mr. Verteroso.

He would have been a great interviewer. Oh, all those guys. Dennis Weaver. Yes. Mike Connors, we tried for. Mannix. Yes. He was in poor health.

I've got a good one, and it's a timely one, from J. Michael Carter. Is there a podcast to do over on? Every single one of them. There are some that shouldn't have been done in the first place and i'm assuming he means this show i don't think we could do does he mean this particular podcast what does he mean by do over maybe one that didn't go well which one which one did go well there are a couple episodes buried in gilbert's backyard in a shoebox. We'll never see the light of day. I have to interject.

There are 212 episodes released of this show. Some of them are pretty good. At least 12. I will stand by at least 12. Hey, speak of midget actors. Yeah. Were we? There's this actor, Frank Ficarro.

Okay. That if you saw him, you'd recognize him in a second. He wasn't Mickey on Seinfeld, was he? He wasn't that guy. No, no. There was, well, there's another one. I'll look him up. Tony something who was in.

I'll look him up. Frank Ficar was in... I'll look him up. Frank Ficarro. You sure you got the name right? I think something like Ficarro. He was in, I think, American Drive-In. Oh, my God. Ficarro sounds Italian. Where are you coming up with this stuff?

And then there's another one. Tony something who was in that one with Billy Bob Thor billy bob thornton uh that's bad santa bad santa yeah oh yeah and he shows up in all those crappy kind of uh movies that try to know who you there were there were a black actor there were two or three bad santas i know at least i don't know this frank faccaro that you speak of, and he's not coming up in my Google. Okay, if you look up American Drive-In, which I think the name is. All right, while I look it up, I have a Frank Ficarro who died in Fairfield, Connecticut, but he was a plumber. Okay, good enough.

I've seen a lot of his work, though. Yeah, his work. It's underrated work. Okay, keep them coming, and i'll wake up somebody i just have a reaction here not a question but as we wind down sean mason writes in to say i'm sure i don't have to tell gil and frank how amazing the peter fonda interview was how nice you couldn't have written a goddamn interview that was better than that honestly incredibly revealing and what a denouement.

Being Hank Fonda's kid was no picnic, obviously, and Peter's openness about that relationship was astounding. Ready, gentlemen? An interview for the ages. That's nice. Perfect. How flattering. Sorry, that's a typo. Interview for the aged. Very good. That was a good episode. We were thrilled to have him

in here. That's when the show Was peaking You know When we're sitting With a Carl Reiner A Dick Van Dyke A Peter Fonda Jimmy Webb was in here

Peter Fonda is The living embodiment Of the 60s Yeah And he's perfect For what we do He's a historical figure Although as we noted

A couple of times You asked him a question About something He says Let me tell you What happened And then got off Somewhere And never quite He went on a few tangents as we noted a couple of times, you asked him a question about something. He says, let me tell you what happened. And then got off somewhere and never quite. He went on a few tangents.

That was the best cheeseburger I ever had. We loved him. All right, I'm looking at the cast of American Drive-In. From 1985? Yes. I have Emily Longstreth, Patrick Curtin, Rhonda Salesnow, Joel Bennett, John Rice, Allison Heath, Mika, Kevin Miller,

Bernard White, Larry Cortinas, Flip Kobler. I do not have your midget actor. Oh, jeez. Danny Nucci, Buck Carter, David Donham, Joseph Mileti. No, I do not have a Frank Ficarra. Wow. So we're going to have to do some extra research on this to connect the dots for you.

I gave it a shot. Wow. I got a question we may want to go out on. And what was the other guy, Tony something? I'll look him up. Tony, yeah, he's the guy from Bad Santa. What do you got, Frankie? Okay.

Jim Schmalbach. Love him. Love his work. I don't know how he got us. When was the most recent time that Gilbert didn't recognize Frank outside of the studio? Tonight. Yeah, five minutes ago. My brother-in-law, Rodney, is a set dresser on Crashing, and Gilbert did a guest spot.

So I said, here's what you do. You go up to him, and you introduce yourself, and you'll chat with him, because he's a fan. Yeah. Calls me the next day, says, I went up to Gilbert. I said, hi, I'm Frank's brother-in-law. He stared at me for about four minutes. Wait, we have our guest. Tony Cox is the name of that actor.

Tony Cox. Our guest just pulled up on his own research, Paul. Yes. On his phone. This is his first time even seeing this show. Yes, he won a contest, I understand. Can you say the name out loud? Phil Fondacaro.

Phil Fondacaro. That's it. Phil Fondacaro. Phil Fondacaro. Put that phone away. Jeff, put that phone away. Yes. He's got a very gruff sounding voice. Phil Fondacaro? Yeah. He didn't realize what he'd won was a new research

position on the podcast. Those old laughing bits. If Yvonne DeCarlo married Phil Fondacaro. He's a guinea midget. That won't offend anybody. No. Somebody named Akaria Adam Podiafsky wrote in and simply said,

the undersea world of Jean Cocteau. Yes. Gilbert had a little confusion. Gilbert made a joke then that I thought was a great joke, if you don't mind. I won't be able to tell it the way you did, but he started playing with Jacques Cousteau and fooling around. He says, yes, he says, and you walked in here dripping wet and smelling of trout. Yes, that's Gilbert. Trout was exactly the right fish to make that joke. He says, and you walked in here dripping wet and smelling of trout. Yes. I thought trout was exactly the right fish to make that joke.

Salmon wouldn't have worked. No one is more clever at covering his own mistakes than Gilbert Gottfried. I've had so much experience. This Phil Fondacaro has had quite a career. He has. He's in Devil Dolls. He's in Evil Bong. He's in the Polar Express as an elf. We'll have to get him.

Phil Fondacaro. All righty. I heard he's a little hard to get. All right. That's a wrap, kids. Oh, it is? Thank you for the questions. Done so soon?

Done so soon. We're at the 28-minute mark. Did it ever begin? I've got to get out of here and take care of my knuckles. Thank you to the Listener Society. Thank you, Frank, for the idea. Thank you, Paul Knuckledless Raybone. I know a good hand specialist.

Thank you. We'll talk. This has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsession. Thank you all. Thank you.