Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #219: Remembering Tim Conway (with Arnie Kogen and Bill Persky)

Episode Date: June 6, 2019

This week: "The Tim Conway Show"! The legend of "Turn-On"! Tim teams with Ernie Anderson! Bill pens a "McHale's Navy" episode! And Arnie shares an office with Pat McCormick! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly uh hi this is gilbert godfrey this is gilbert godfrey's, colossal podcast. This is the Colossal Obsessions. This is Gilbert. Take it from the top. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried. And I've already made a mistake, and we're only three seconds into the show. And I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. It is.

And we're doing an unusual show. It concerns Jews who write TV comedy. Is there any other? That'll be a nine-hour show. That'll be a 28-hour show. It's odd because we just did a Twilight Zone, and this is really... Let's introduce our two legendary guests. Mr. Bill Persky is here in the studio.

Hello, guys. All our listeners know Bill. He's done, what, 42 of these? I think this is my fourth. It's his fourth and i would like to apologize for the second i listened to it and it was very informative but not much fun it's like i did a commencement address at a college and it was brilliant but somehow i went to the wrong microphone and my script wasn't there, and I was lost.

But they brought me back, and I was a hit. Well, you're always a hit. I always apologize. You don't have to. You're always a hit here. My first marriage, no apology. And who's our second guest on the phone, Gil? Arnie Kogan.

The legend. The legend, Arnie Kogan. Arnie. Hi. Hi. legend Arnie Kogan Arnie Hi Hi It's been about a year Since I talked to you guys Almost exactly a year

Since we did that Father's Day episode We did a Father's Day episode With you and your brilliant son Jay Would you like to apologize For your episode as well? I want to apologize

For Bill's second show You know something The Writers Guild Took a vote They were embarrassed by me before we get to our subject yes a man we are here to pay tribute to oh my goodness uh who was a mutual friend of of both you and arnie you and arnie have history too oh god oh yeah yes it's been about bill it's been about 43 and 44 years since I've seen you or spoken to you.

Yes, and I really wanted it to keep going, Arnie. I was really pissed off. It's about 10 years too soon. I wanted to make it 50-something years. What was the last thing we did? Well, I did Lots of Luck for You with Dom DeLuise. Oh, another. I did an episode of The Montefiuscos with you.

Which, again, so many, and I'll tell you something. Tim was in a pilot that Sam and I did that was considered so funny that Grant Tinker and the whole company there said, we're not sending in a comedy. It was called The Boys, and it was hilarious. Well, we'll get into it. Yes, yes. I just wanted to know how you guys... Here's the main thing.

You know, Bill and Sam Denoff hired me for a show called The Funny Side in 1971. And I want to thank you, Bill and Sam. The show was really good, but that was a series where there were a lot of great writers on the staff. You put me in a room with a writer named Pat McCormick. Yes. That's the first time I really met Pat. And he got to be my partner for a while, and it was an incredible experience. It was like you said, Arnie, why don't you work with Pat?

It was like taking a union electrician and putting him with Thomas Edison. I was right. So Bill, he was like a rock star. So it was a great experience. And who on the show or on the line wants to tell the Pat McCormick story? Which one? The one with the Tim Conway as the punchline. Well, save it for the end, Gil.

Let's talk about the great man that we are here to honor. Well, I can start because Sam and I wrote the first thing that Tim ever did on network television. Tell us. I was doing the Steve Allen show back in 1962 and steve found this guy there's an argument of whether rosemary found him or steve maybe she introduced him to steve anyway he was in cleveland doing local stuff yeah and he came out yeah right and on that same show, Steve introduced the Smothers Brothers. Wow. So Conway comes in and we say, have a great bit for you to do.

It's going to be, you're going to be the protocol guy at the White House. And I said, and you're going to be introducing people and doing all the things. I said, and one of the things you're going to be doing is that you got a letter from the Shah of Zolzain. And so you write back, dear Zolzain Shah. And he stared at me, which most people do. Zolzain Shah in Jewish is shut up. I always wanted to do that. And after that, Tim said, yeah, well, I think I'm going to do this instead. It wasn't Jewish, obviously.

I'm Jewish, and I didn't know that. See? It's amazing I got this far. Arnie, how did you and Tim meet for the first time? Well, we met before the Burnett Show a number of times, but the Burnett Show really got together, and, you know, of course, he was incredible. He was a comedy genius.

But even ever since the Burnett Show, I worked on a number of things with Tim. So he was, as we all know, one of the most naturally funny people ever, ever to exist, you know? I have never seen audiences laughing and falling on the floor, gasping for breath, as they did when Tim did a bit. Maybe except for perhaps Captain Tennille, the second season. That's the only exception.

Oh, there was a second season? But not Shields and Yarnell, right, Arnie? No, no But not Shields and Yarnell, right, Arnie? No, no, not Shields and Yarnell. Well, Bill alluded to, he started out in, but not a lot of people know, he started out in morning TV in Ohio with Ernie Anderson. Yeah. And I didn't know this until I did the research, until he got dismissed. Conway got fired by the station, and what broke up the act is what led Ernie Anderson. They said, do you want to do a horror show?

And that's how he became Goularty. Oh, really? Yeah, so Tim inadvertently had a role in that. And, you know, one of Ernie Anderson's probably his famous, his most iconic character. But somehow he got to the Steve Allen Show, and that's a little shrouded in mystery as you say yeah well the thing about Steve Allen show uh it's Sam and I it's our first job 1962 61 had a three-week guarantee $500 a piece had to move to California or not and you know I had a job at, we were working at WNEW radio, not for a lot of money. Good morning world. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And, uh, we said, if this is the chance, did I tell you about the 10 pounds of material that got that job? Yeah. Thank God.

I'm losing a little. I don't think that's true i didn't listen to my last episode anyway i i heard eight pounds of material no well it lost some in transit anyway uh the show we were going to be picked up for three weeks and another three weeks and another three weeks and our we were hanging by a thread and then we came up with a joke in the third week that steve loved so much that he picked us up for the whole season and they got canceled the next week so we got but you did 26 weeks you did meet conway absolutely and never and then he got us a mckale's i was gonna say he was instrumental in getting you and sam that mckale's navy which incident Which, incidentally, a letter for Fuji. Remember the show?

There was that Japanese prisoner that they had, and he was very homesick. He doesn't. So they decided that he had to write a letter to his mother, but they had to mail it from a Japanese camp. Like life. Like, you know, Japanese camp. It liked life. Like, you know, we always dealt with real life. Anyway, apropos of that, three weeks ago, I got a check for 33 cents. You're still getting McHale's Navy residual check. Yes, but it's always hard because I have to split with my first wife.

And 33 cents is hard. I always give her the extra pennies. Not worth the aggravation. I've never seen McHale's Navy. I saw it watching. I've never really seen McHale's Navy. Now you have a reason. Who played the Japanese prisoner?

I don't know. Not Jack Sue. What was the joke that got you hired again on the Steve Allen show? The great joke. There was a show called Ben Casey. Sure. And Dr. Zorba. Sam Jaffe.

Right. He was also Gunga Din in a diaper. Yes, he was. He didn't wear a diaper. Most famously. He was the head of the hospital. And the High Llama. He was in Los Arroyos.

Yes. And whatever happened there he's gone anyway the start of the ben casey show was there was a blackboard and dr zorba would come out with a pointer and i remember i hear wait wait wait wait birth death uh i think it's a birth death infinity or the man woman birth death infinity and then they show you so we did it we did a sketch about that and a great comic by the name of joey foreman oh yeah i mean one of the great all the time great mimic and he played dr zorba And he played Dr. Zorba. And Steve was Ben Casey.

And anyway, so he did, this is the sign for man. This is the sign for woman. This is birth. This is death. This is infinity. And this is a pussycat. And it was a little chalk figure of a pussycat. Steve, at the reading, started to laugh. and he couldn't breathe, and then he said,

you're picked up for the season. Nice. Right there. Nice. Now, here's something to ask both of you. Were Tim Conway and Harvey Korman friends offstage? They were. Not tremendously close, but they were close enough.

And they were, you know, they were from, Tim was the when Harvey died about five, six years ago, Tim was the sort of the master of ceremonies that is a memorial at a place out in Pacific Palisades. So, they were friendly, yes. But I would say this about Tim, and I think you'll agree,

Barney. Yeah. As much, I worked a thousand times with Tim. And we were much, I worked a thousand times with them and we were close. We laughed at, but I never really knew anything about him. No, you don't know. And he was always on.

He was always on off stage. Always funny. Always on. I think I saw. So you say that he and Hart were, he and Harvey close as close as you could get to Tim. There's only one guy I know, and that's Ron Clark, who really was a friend to him. He didn't let you in, you know?

Arnie, you're saying the same thing that Bill is saying, right? He was sort of, he was, was that something to do with being a Midwesterner, you think? What, by being funny? No, that was Tim, and that was really him. something to do with being a Midwesterner? You think? What, by being funny? Just being... No, that was him. He was just funny, and Clark did a beautiful job at the Memorial for Conway about three weeks ago. There were four

speakers. Newhart was one of them. Ron Clark was another one. Ron was brilliant. He just covered a lot of stuff about Tim. Because he knew more. He knew what Tim really felt, I think. Yeah. He was the only one. Yeah.

Well, he was, speaking of McHale's Navy, I mean, he was friends with Borgnine, too, for life. Uh-huh. Yeah. Not sure he got to know him any better. But even that. Yeah. I mean, I know Tim for 30, 40 years. I've written hundreds of things for him.

And were we friends? Yeah. And were we friends? Yeah. But were we friends? Yeah. Fascinating. That's how I feel about Gilbert. That went with me and my wife. Same kind of thing.

Doesn't really know me. It's funny how they teamed up Conway and Borg9 for SpongeBob. Yeah. Yeah, they got to do that late in life. Arnie, what's the first thing you wrote for him? Do you have a vivid memory of it? I think it was on the Burnett show. I just did a whole bunch of stuff.

He became a regular after a few years, but he was on a show before that. It may have been the fireman sketch uh... when the world's oldest fireman class in a you know i you know you know about the kids almost seventy percent ten years right old fireman but i wrote the sketch it was very very funny and just writing a direction uh... tim is your apartment tries to break through the window and he took about twenty minutes to break through a window of the old man he

took the pp at the accident slowly broke through and it was hysterical disease and moving and all of you with their as a rich man saying i might buy paintings by star you gotta save me and i was basically the sketch but ended up doing not not resuscitation of the very end of the that's a great one and it was very funny. So that may have been the first thing. Yeah, yeah.

Bill, so I'm just trying to track your career. You did the C. Valens show with him. Then he helped you go to McHale's Navy. Now, here's the other side of the McHale's Navy. We also simultaneously had gotten to do a Van Dyke show. And we had a meeting on our script from McHale's Navy with a lovely, lovely guy by the name of Cy Rosen. Did you ever work with him, Arnie? No.

Lovely man. Yeah. But forever. We had a 30-page script. We went in at 9 o'clock. We finished at 4. 30 pages every note every you use the word and and and he said did you really have to use hypercritical and i don't know it was just we went to lunch there was a chinese restaurant across from universal

and i said we got to go home i'm going back. Maybe we can get the jobs back because we can't do this. Because it was very hard to go. I don't know about you, Arne. Very hard to go from variety to situation comedy. It's a change. You know, they won't let you in.

It's like, it's hard to go from television or the movies to the theater or it used to be. But you did it. And when you from television or the movies to the theater, or it used to be. But you did it. And when you guys got on the Van Dyke Show, you and Sam, Tim was still in your orbit? Yes. But the same day when we got back to our office from Cy Rosen, we had an office at the end of a hall. It was too small.

I had to sit in the hall and Sam type. We got a call from Carl. Sam picked it up and he just said, it's Carl. And I'm in the hall. And he said, well, yeah, yeah. When? When? Oh, yeah.

What? Wow. And I said, what? He said, Carl loved it. We can write as many as we want. He's going to give us an office. That was in the same day. Right. And I said, what? He said, Carl loved it. We can write as many as we want, and he's going to give us an office. That was in the same day.

Great day. So we never went back to that Chinese restaurant. It was bad luck. So when did you hook up with Tim again? Let's see. A number of times. I think the first real thing was when I did Roll Freddy Roll, which was a movie. TV movie, yeah. Yeah, it's great.

And I think this says a lot about Tim. It was a movie about a guy who, through a series of events, ends up on roller skates to impress his kid. He's going for the world record of being on roller skates. So for a whole week of his life, he's on roller skates. Tim, I mean, he got into stuff. There was a thing that lasted for 20 minutes that we had to cut down of him trying to open a heavy glass door.

Everything. Then he jumped off a curb and got caught in a sewer. I mean, he played tennis, everything. At the end, there was a sequence where the press was coming to, he had broken the record and people were closing in on him and he backed up and he started to go down a hill. Yeah. It's on YouTube. I watched it today. Yeah. So we went downtown. There was one thing in it where he actually rode up on the back of a moving motorcycle and grabbed the guy. Another thing where he was going down a hilly street and he was out of control. And there was a guy with a push broom.

He grabbed it, hooked it around a light pole and went across the street. Then there was a sequence of him supposed to go down this hill, and the stuntman wouldn't do it. And Tim said, I'll do it. Literally, there was smoke coming out of the thing. Now we get in the car to go home, and we're sitting and having a beer. And I said, Timmy, I got to be honest with you. Until today, I didn't know if I could shoot a stunt sequence. He said, that's nothing. I didn't know if I

could roller skate. Oh, he didn't take any roller skating lessons or training? Whatever. You know, he was going to be a jockey. Yeah, I know he loved the horses. He used to be an exercise boy. Yeah. He's an incredible physical comedian. We talked about it at the memorial. He could roll down a stairway funnier than anybody ever rolls down a stairway.

And then he also rolled up a stairway. He rolled up a stairway. He rolled up a stairway. You're watching, even watching Roll Freddy Roll today on YouTube, you're looking at a guy, and I'm thinking this guy could have been a silent film comedian. Absolutely. He has some Keaton chops. Yeah, they talked about that also.

Keaton, Chaplin, and Conway, and Ron Clark mentioned that. If Tim had lived 30 years earlier, he would have been one of them. Maybe he would have been the best of the three. He was incredible with physical stuff. So when you wrote something for him, Arnie, when you wrote something like the fireman sketch, I mean, did you just write sort of, Tim, physical business goes here? No, I wrote the directions like,

he tries to break through a window, or he gives mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. You write a complete script, and you all know that the dress show, he'd do everything according to the script. And on the second show, on the air show, they'd let him loose. If he got it on dress,

it didn't matter what he did on air and he would be incredibly funny and that whatever he did he did out there i would go to think like uh... you do a slave a slave ship sketch party's got a slave ship attached to a guy with chains the guy after six years quits or dies bring in the new guy and use camp bubbles in chain them up to Harvey, and he says, Hi, I'm a leper.

That's the opening line I wrote. But since anything from there is gold, he's just, Tim is comedy gold. You just give him anything, and he makes it that much, much funnier. The other person who does that. Now, well, people always say, Who's the funniest person you ever worked with? And really, it's between Tim and Dick Van Dyke, as far apart as they are in terms of the level of stuff they do. Both physical in their own way. I mean, Dick, and you couldn't think ahead of what Dick might do with something.

You know, same way with Conway. I mean, we did a show where he was trying to break the world record for a disc jockey staying awake. And he was in a department store window. It was before he got his job on Alan Brady. And there was a place like at the 75th hour where he was talking to this woman and he had a cup of coffee and he put it down and it was on a turntable he spent 10 minutes we cut it down every time he grabbed for it was an originally hysterical piece of business and Tim piece of business.

And Tim, I don't want to say that there was an elegant of style and class that Van Dyke had. I think that there was a certain dignity in Dick's humor. Tim would do anything. He never questioned a piece of material?

He would just come? I never heard him question it. Only Zolzang Sha. I think that was the only one never heard him question it. All results on Shaw. I think that was the only one. He ran with it. I hold a record. He did 20 minutes on a doorknob, just sitting on a

straddling a doorknob on one sketch. Just sitting on a doorknob. You know, since I left the Burnett Show, I often think of Conway sketches. I left the Burnett Show, I often think of Conway sketches. I see, you know, the world's oldest tennis ball boy. Oh, you see the ones you never wrote?

Yeah, I never wrote. Benny Hanna, Chef. I was at Bed Bath & Beyond last week, which gives you an idea of my lifestyle right now. Working or buying? I have these two staircases escalators going down one for the customer and one for his cart

I don't know if you've seen that adjoining escalators so I figured I said Conway could do 25 minutes with this just with escalators I'm sure well the other thing about him was socially

I mean he came to dinner The other thing about him was socially. I mean, he came to dinner at my house a number of times, but one night was Carl Reiner and Tim and I don't remember, a whole group of people. And my wife then, or my then wife, I don't know how you say that. It's like's like how do you say my oldest friend that doesn't mean he's your old i've never figured out how you say that my then wife uh had bought these porcelain dishes that were like placemats but they were like 14 inches across. And we're having dinner and Tim is distracted. And after about five minutes of him not saying anything or anything, Carl said, you all right, Timmy? He said, yeah.

He said, well, what is it? He said, I don't know if I can still do it. And Carl said, do what? He said, well, I used to be able to put a plate this size in my mouth why he said I don't know it was there he said I don't I'm gonna try it so now he's got this 14-inch plate, and he starts loosening up the sides of his mouth and trying, and he's not ready. 20 minutes. He was totally committed. He really thought he could do it.

And finally, Carl got up and said, I have to leave or I'm going to die. He said, I can't laugh anymore. But I mean, that was just, and then a night at Carl's, he went to the men's, the bathroom, and you know those little hands, those little copper hands you put paper towels in them? Yeah, sure. Tim came out with his fly down,

and those hands coming out of his jacket. And he said, I'm really embarrassed. He said, but I can't see. And he then, with these hands, kept trying to zip up his fly. And finally, Carl reminded me of this last night. I forgot this part of it. Finally, he was so embarrassed, last night. I forgot this part of it. Finally, he was so embarrassed. He said, I can't stay.

And he went out to the pool. And on the way, he picked up a log and then stood at the pool like he was peeing in the pool. I mean. Anything for a laugh. Yeah, but I mean, never. I don't think he ever planned anything. You aren't. I mean, it just happened.

No, it's very natural for him. It's just very natural. You know, after the Burnett show, the thing I mentioned to you guys, that there was a show called Ace Crawford. Oh, sure. Yeah, in 83. Yeah, early 80s. And Ron Clark was running the show, I think, and Rudy DeLuca was there, and Ron Friedman.

Oh, yeah, we just had Ron on this week. Was Bobrick on that? Bobrick, no, it was the four of us. So we each did an episode, and it was a bumbling private eye. My episode involved him getting involved in a murder at a dry cleaner's. So I went to the Encino dry cleaners to do research, to check out the dry cleaning. I knew the owner.

And I went there and I said, is the owner there? And the lady beyond the counter said, no, young lady. I said, no. I said, well, I'm doing a sketch about the dry cleaning. I want to check the back. She said, I'm not going to let you go back there.

I said, why not? She said, I'm doing a screenplay about dry cleaning. Welcome to Los Angeles. Everybody else really is doing a script. She was doing a dry cleaning screenplay. Did you experience Tim doing that kind of weird business like Bill's talking about off camera? We had an anniversary party about 10 years ago, big party at a hotel. Conway was there, other people were there.

We had a piano player sitting there playing standard tunes. Tim got up, sat on top of the piano player's lap, and played about five minutes of music on his lap. Hilarious. Carl said he wanted to do this with us. Oh, yeah, we were going to tell our listeners we were going to have Carl Reiner on. So I talked to him last night. He said, but I'll tell you a Conway story.

Yeah. He said he was at a dinner party somewhere, and Tim was very late. And he came in, and he said, really, I'm so sorry I'm late. I hate being late. He said, but the freeway was so crowded. I mean, the cars were barely moving. I couldn't imagine what it was. And finally, I got there, and there was this horrible accident.

And it was my wife was in the car. And there were a lot of attendants around her. I figured, well, she was okay. I had to get here, but it made me late. Dark. Artie, this is something that always intrigued me, was how many series flops, and he had a great sense of, a self-deprecating

sense of humor about it. Like, after McHale's Navy, I mean, who remembers Rango? Oh, God, yes. In 67, and then he did the Tim Conway show with Joe Flynn, I guess they tried to recreate that magic. Well, he had a license plate that said 13 weeks.

He had a personalized plate. At that time, that was a horrible thing. But I don't think he ever reached 13 weeks. Yeah, he just had 13 weeks. He was hoping for 13 weeks. Yeah, what was the Tim Conway show with Joe Flynn? They ran an airline? They ran a cheapo airline?

I'm not sure. It may have been. I'm not sure what it was. And Harvey Bullock created Rango, who I think is a guy you must have worked with. Yeah, I worked with him. Both of you. Harvey Bullock and he had a partner, Harvey Bullock and something else. I forgot who the other guy was.

I forgot, too. I forgot the other guy. I'm more confused now. Was Tim Conway connected with Turn On? Turn On, you bet. It's the next thing on my list. The biggest failure of all time on TV. One episode and done.

Connected with what show? Turn On. George Slaughter's Turn On. Really? I didn't know that. It didn't last an entire episode. What was it? It was George Slaughter. George Slaughter's follow-up to Laugh-In.

And in a commercial break, they canceled it, and it just didn't go back. Well, Slaughter told us they canceled it before it went across the country, before it moved from the New York time slot to the West Coast time slot. It was cancelled somewhere over St. Louis. Yeah, it was not good. Chuck McCann was in it. But I think it was in color, so we're okay. It was in color.

For a talented guy, I mean, after McHale's Navy, he had a hard time latching on to something successful. It's also hard to be a star. He was an incredible second banana. Brilliantly funny, to be a star. He was an incredible second banana. Brilliantly funny, but if you star in your own show, it's a different kind of thing.

He had to be less funny to be the star of his own show, and he couldn't be less funny. The biggest heartbreak that he said, because you know when I would call him occasionally and talk, he said I still can't believe the boys. You, Tim, and Herb Edelman.

Yeah, and Sammy. And it was about us, about comedy writers. And in comedy writers, whether they were 90 or 12, they were called the boys. Send in the boys. Send in the boys. To the point where there was a time when one of the guys was sick, and his partner went to have the meeting, and the producer said,

Boys, we wrote this. I mean, it was like, that's who you were. So we wrote this thing. Did you ever see it, Arne? I never saw it, no. It was supposed to be him and Harvey. I have a DVD of it in my house. I'll send it to you.

You gave it to me. Is it not? It should have stuck. The wedding scene at the end is. He steals it. Oh, my God. It was people literally. The whole MTM group saw the pilot and they said, well, why send anything in to compete with this?

That was a disappointment for him, a particular disappointment. It broke his heart. It broke mine, too. I mean, we just had so much fun doing it. And we never could figure out why. And five years ago, I mean, this is, what, 20, 30 years after this, I get a call from a guy whose name I'll leave out, but he was drunk. And he said, I've been walking around with this guilt for all these years. Really? He said, I was in the research department with another guy I won't mention. And he said he lied about the research because he hated you and Sam.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Oh, Jesus. He lied about the research. He said people loved it, but he couldn't stand the thought that you guys would have that show. That's horrible. I'm going to look him up and sue him.

Is it the guilt led to his drinking? No, no. Yeah, the assistant was drinking. I see. I see. You know, Arnie, it's interesting, too, because people associate, people think of him as always having been on the Burnett Show, but that wasn't the case. He was not, no.

I came in in 72. He came in like 74, but he had been doing the show for a few years. People also, even as physical as he was, he had incredible, incredible timing. Verbally also, if you watch those Tudball and Mrs. Wiggins sketches, Mr. Tudball, he waits for just the right second before speaking. He lets her speak, and then he waits for the exact right moment. He was incredible in timing. What's the most interesting conversation you had with him?

Not serious. I don't know. There is none. And we were friends. I mean, I met him. I worked on the Mark Twain prize. Oh yeah.

And I told him, we'd obviously, I dropped your name and we, it was, and it was, it was, he was a little bit, there's like a,

a wall there. Yeah. But, but he, but willing to perform for a stranger. Oh, God, yeah. Willing to entertain me within five minutes of meeting me. But that's all he was able to do in terms of having contact with you.

Which Mark Twain show was that? I worked on the Carol Burnett, Mark Twain. I was one of the writers on that show. And I didn't know you yet, Arnie, but I knew Bill. And I certainly dropped Bill's name. Well, go back now and drop Arnie's. He was very warm and gracious. Yeah, nice guy.

Even in rehearsals, we spent a fair amount of time together. But it was tough to sort of break through anything. He seemed perfectly pleasant and sweet. I spent five days with him in Vegas working on an act, and we had great, I can't remember a thing other than what we did. Yeah. You know, the writing. Yeah.

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If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. You know, Arnie, I was watching today, too. I don't know if you were one of the writers on this one. Lyle Wagner is the POW, and he watching today, too. I don't know if you were one of the writers on this one. Lyle Wagner is the POW, and he's the interrogator. The Hitler hand puppet. My son Jay sent that to me.

It was just incredible. Incredible timing. Incredible timing. The German, Harvey and Tim, were both very funny, but it was you know, you fall down on the floor, you gasp for breath. The guy was incredible when he got rolling. I like that.

Yeah. There are other sketches he did. I mean, almost any sketch he was involved in. There was a thing that Gene Perrin and Bill Richmond wrote called the No Frills Airline. And basically, it's Coach in his first class. Harvey's in first class. Tim is a row behind him in Coach. Oh, yes.

And he's taunting Harvey. He said, oh, you paid more money, and it's the same ride and so forth. So things start to happen. Stewardess Carol comes out and gives safety instructions. She whispers them to Harvey. Does not tell Tim what they are. That's the first thing. And then they have,

later on there was turbulence in the car, in the plane. Turbulence only in Tim's section. He did about five minutes of turbulence. He was hysterical, and he did a lot of sketches they do that people don't talk about. They talk about the dentist sketch,

which is brilliant. Also incredible. He shoots himself with the Novik cane. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's classic. I always thought that... I knew Tim was involved in the writing, and I always thought that Roger Beatty was involved,

who writes that kind of thing for Tim. It seems that Kenny and Gail, Kenny Soames and Gail Parent, were involved in the writing of that sketch. Gail Parent was the one behind... I think she created the Tim Conway show, the one where he and Joe Flynn ran the airline. Oh, that could have been.

Everyone who knew him, including his grocer, wrote a show for him. You know, you just wanted to. You wanted to work with him. You know, we have two people here. We have Craig Bierko, our pal, is in the next booth, and he has a sweet little Tim Conway, just a little Tim Conway anecdote that I wonder if you'd tell on mic. Craig? Sure. You want to tell it?

Yeah. Here he comes. All right. We'll tighten this up. I'll sing until he gets up here. Go ahead. Hey, how are you? Tell your little Tim Conway story, Craig, because it's sweet.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Go ahead. i was kidding i don't have a tim conway i i've the first thing is it's one of my earliest memories was watching the carol burnett show if i got to go to my grandmother my nana stephanie's house and stay up late set to watch carol burnett to watch carol burnett test test uh that was a big deal and the the only thing that was slightly funnier was that when he came out and did the the old man walk yeah it was my grandmother's laugh which uh it it was she couldn't breathe she would repeat anything he said and then get the the honk and if you got the honk that was big and the only people who ever made her honk was uh

it was when it was tim conway doing the old man and carol o'connor calling uh meathead a polack she loved that yeah but the story that i had was uh and this and this just made me fall in love with him even more, because I thought this was so kind. I came across, sometimes if I'm having a tough day, there are a couple of go-to people, you know, and he's one of them. I'll just have to watch something, and he cheers me up immediately. And I came across that tape of him when they're announcing the nominees for the Emmy Awards. Oh, sure. And they say the nominees are Tim Conway. He gets up and just starts walking to the stage.

And it was the bravest, purest. That would be edgy today. And I saw that, and I just thought, God, that's incredible. And I just found him on Twitter, and I just said, you are my president. And he wrote me right back on Twitter and he said, I'm going to speak to President Nielsen, who I did a movie with where he played the president. I'm going to speak to President Nielsen and if he's okay with it, I want you to be my running mate. And it wasn't much of a premise, but we kept it going for a while and i just i got to jam with that's nice conway that's nice i think i could have told it better but it was really great

to visit with you guys you were staring at me like who you don't know who you took my mic you you were a stranger and he responded to you and isn't that amazing that's something sweet about that he's always been that kind. I've never heard a bad story about him. We never have either. Yeah. Thank you for letting me come in. There's a dinner, right? Thanks.

Okay, great. That was sweet, Craig. Could you wrap it up and get out of here now? I thought it was worth people hearing it. You know my son, Jay. I do know him. I've known him for a long time. He's always been very kind to me. I'm so sick

of hearing about your grandson. Oh, yeah. It's endless. All the stuff he does, yeah. Oh, no. But, my God, I've been sitting there. You are absolutely hilarious. I hope I get to meet you one day. He's very talented. My grandson's very talented. It's mostly music, but also comedy. Yes.

A lot of stuff. What happened with Jay? I guess it skips a generation. I don't know. No, Jay, I mean, he's hilarious, and he's always been very supportive of me. He's a great kid. Yeah. He's a great kid.

It's a pleasure to talk to you. You were talking about the Emmy Awards. One year, I think it was 74, Harvey and Tim were both nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Oh, yeah. And Harvey won. He got up on stage. Tim got up on stage right next to him as Harvey made his speech. Tim just stood there next to him on stage. Oh, my God.

Fantastic. You know, it was a nice tribute, Arnie. I saw that the city of Arcadia just celebrated Tim Conway Day, and they named a race after him, because I know he hung out at the racetrack. Yeah, I didn't know that. They named a race after him at Santa Anita, the Tim Conway Dorf Half Cup. They shot a horse in his honor. It's not going well in Santa Anita these days.

I thought this was sweet too, Bill. I read an interview with Charlene, with his widow of 35 years, and she said that he was such a humble person that he was shocked and surprised when anybody knew when other celebrities were familiar with him, familiar with his work, which is stunning to me. I think it's because his father never recognized it. His father was a big element in his life. And I don't know the whole relationship,

but I know that he was very out to impress his dad with what he did. Oh, really? Yeah. Did he ever have that moment? I don't know. I don't know. He's from Chagrin. I think Chagrin Falls, Ohio, which is part of Cleveland, I think.

Absolutely. Absolutely. But I think he got his comedy chops. He grew up on the Lower East Side of Chagrin Falls. That comedy section, that small comedy section. Where all the Chagrin-ish people live. That's very Chagrin-ish. I'm so glad you guys got to work with him and got to experience

one of the great comics, great comic actors of the century. I didn't know that Roll Freddy Roll, I could get it on. It's on YouTube, so you're not going to get one of those little residual checks for it. Oh, that's alright. That's okay. But my copy I gave to my grandchildren,

they lost it, so I thought, oh god. Well, I will tell our listeners, go to YouTube, find Roll Freddy Roll, which is a TV movie that Bill directed that's very funny. It also has Jan Murray in it, which is an extra bonus. And the boys. If anybody can

find the boys, maybe we can make special arrangements. Jan Murray was the funniest guy at a party, not on TV and not was the funniest guy at a party. Not on TV and not on stage, but at a party. If it means anything. If there are 40 guys at a party and a teaser and Milton Berle

and Jack... Chan Murray was the funniest man there. It means a lot. Guys, we'll do... You know, we should do another episode. We should do a comedy writers episode with Friedman and Bobrick and you and Ron Clark and Arnie. We'll do a panel. What with Friedman and Bobrick and you and Ron Clark

and Arnie. We'll do a panel. What do you think? Will you guys come back for that? That's painful, but I get it. I must say, I've listened to the show and I was on, I guess, what? The 4th or 5th? You were on with the man sitting next to you. Well, that was the 100th.

Tell me about the second show, Bill. It was very pedantic. I don't even remember. It was like I said to myself afterwards. I said, God, it's a good thing I'm out of the business because no one would hire me. I just remember I was very unimpressed. Go back and listen and you'll reevaluate.

My first one was great. And tonight's the least I've heard him laugh. Yeah. I don't know whether he was enthralled, awestruck, envious of what's been said about Tim Conway. I swear to God, one of the great things on the show is him laughing. Nothing. Nothing. I was actually going to put the show is him living. Nothing. Nothing. You can hear it.

I was actually going to put a mirror in front of his mouth. Welcome to my every week. Oh, my God. Thank you, boys. Pleasure. Bill, send my love to your daughter. She's right here. She's right next door.

By the way, I still have Funny Side Stationery. I throw nothing away. Wasn't that a great logo? Yeah. Good show. John Amos. By the way, I want to ask you a question, Bill. Yes.

We did a show for Funny Side. Gene Kelly was the host. Right. Gene Kelly introduced sketches. The only things he did not do were sing and dance. That's right. Why was that? He just said, I'm not going to. I don't want to do that they know that i'm a host and i'll you know i'll do the the

greatest thing on that was we had a haunted house yeah and and he we you remember we and and he there was he was the monster and everyone was scared and then he said at the end, it's over. It's all over. And he pulled the thing off and his toupee came with it. And he said, it really is all over. Well, rest in peace, Tim Conway. Yes. I hope this was a fitting tribute with two of his oldest friends. He isn't in heaven yet because he hasn't stopped entertaining St. Peter. This was a treat for us, too.

So, Arnie. Thank you. Thank you, buddy. Please give our love to Jay. I will. Give us one laugh to go off with. I mean, I swear. I feel like compared to this, the second show, I was a hit.

You come here for the laughs? No, I mean, it's just if you can't get him to laugh, then you ought to go home. Thank you, Arnie. Thank you, Billy. Thank you, Prick Bierko. Take care, Arne. Okay, take care. Gil, sign off.

And this is... Oh, was he here? Wake up and then sign off. This has been Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsession. See you next week. I'm so glad we had this time together Just to have a laugh or sing a song Seems we just get started

And before you know it Comes the time we have to say So long There's a time you put aside for dreaming And a time for things you have to do But the time I like the best is any evening.

I can spend a moment here with you. When the time comes and I'm feeling lonely. And I'm feeling lonely And I'm feeling oh so blue I just sit back and think of you, Lynn And the happiness still comes through That's why I'm glad we had this time together Cause it makes me feel that I belong Seems we just get started And before you know it

Guess it's time for me to say So long For me to see So Loud