Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #221: Gino Salomone Returns! (Again)

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

This week: The Jill St. John story! Chico Marx stars in "Psycho"! Ron Jeremy meets a Munchkin! Gilbert is mistaken for Pat Morita! And Gino shares a hot tub with Mr. T! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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betting. Download today. 19+. Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. 1, 2, 3'm Gilbert. Oh, Christ. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. And I'm here with Frank Santopadre and our engineer, Frank Furtarosa.

And this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. And we don't have a guest this week. Wait a minute. Hey, how about drinking some water? Get that phlegm out of your throat, too. You sound like you're underwater. The Sixth Marks Brother. Phlegmy.

Phlegmo. Who your throat, too. You sound like you're underwater. The Sixth Marks Brother. Phlegmy. Phlegmo. Who is here, Gilbert? Is there a guest? Wait, let me... Do you have the name written down somewhere? Why, it's entertainer... I can't even speak. Entertainment reporter to the stars, Gino Salamone.

Hi, everybody. Hi, Gene. Rex Reed canceled at the last minute. Gino, you're back for round number three. I saw Gene Shallot in the elevator. Oh, yeah. He couldn't make it all the way up. But he told you a couple of puns.

He did. He said, go see Sea of Love. You'll see it and love it. See? Stolen, by the way, from Saturday Night Live. Entertainment reporter Gino Salamone, uncompensated Gilbert Gottfried podcast talent booker. Gino Salamone.

And how about this? Yes? He's in the thriving metropolis of Appleton, Wisconsin. I drive all the way there an hour and a half each way to take him to lunch. Why? I wondered the same thing. As I drove home, I'm like, why did I do that? And there was only one place in Appleton, Wisconsin open at lunch hour.

Wow. With the biggest eggplant parmesan I'd ever seen in my life. Honestly, it was a tray. It was so big. Let me ask you a question that I don't know the answer to. Who paid? Gee, let me think about it. That's a tough one.

Okay, Chico. Oh, that's a tough one. Ah, boy, boy. You couldn't afford it. You still do Chico, Marks, and Psycho? You still have that in the act? Oh, boy, boy. You couldn't afford it. You still do Chico, Marx, and Psycho? You still have that in the act? Oh, yes. Oh, wait, wait a second.

He doesn't know his own bits. We know his bits better. There was Chico and 12 Angry Men. Oh, sure, he's plenty guilty. And you don't remember Chico and Psycho there was Chico's Hamlet hey you're not my father

that's it Chico and 12 Angry Men hey it's getting late and oh wait oh Chico and Psycho I think that was oh sure we got plenty of rooms that's it And, oh, wait. Chick. Oh, Chick on Psycho. I think that was, oh, sure. We got plenty of rooms.

That's it. Man, Frank. The amount of new material he did on stage. So much. People were shocked. Really? Larry Hovis bits? I'm just trying out my Richard Whitmark.

When I saw him at an infamous show at Milwaukee Summerfest, by the way, the last comedy show ever booked, because he drove the people out of there. He closed the place, huh? But he sang the entire theme of the Milton Berle show as Milton Berle. Yeah. It's, oh, oh, wait, wait, that's, uh, there's just one place for me, and that's near you. One place I want to be, and that's near you. He sang the whole song. The whole song.

And he closed down the festival. And this is what he does when I try to hang up on the phone during our phone calls. He becomes Milton Berle. So I say, listen, I've got to go into work. And he says, Jeff, I've upset you in any way. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. What does Henry Winkler say about Gilbert when you run into him? We can't bring that subject up.

What did Paul Williams say when you ran into Paul Williams? Gilbert can be very inappropriate. Gilbert can be very inappropriate sometimes. No, and we said this the first time I was here. Henry Winkler, you know, Gilbert wants me to go down the streets that I don't want to go down. That's my favorite. And I won't go down those streets with Gilbert. All right.

Now, you brought something with us. I can't even talk. Is it a gift? You brought something for us. I love gifts. He loves gifts. He loves gifts with gifts. Okay, speaking of that, I'm sorry to get you off track.

Okay, I'm the one who called to attention, everybody, when he would get a compliment and go, Oh, thank you. Oh, I want the one who called to attention everybody when he would get a compliment and go, oh, thank you. Oh, I want to tell you something. We were just interviewing Chip Kidd, who designed the Jurassic Park poster and a million other things. Well, he designed the logo, yeah. And he was complimenting me at the end of the show, and you were in the other room.

Right. And I kept wanting to say, oh, thank you. But I was getting self-conscious. And then it was kind of like I was coming across really unappreciative. But I wanted to go full joe flynn well here's the latest one that i've noticed and i don't ever want to picture this and it won't leave my head i this is gilbert having sex okay when you guys do one of those quizzes where you ask him a question and then he's like he can't come up with it and then you give the correct answer he goes oh yes oh yes and it's like oh my god that's what he sounds like

during sex i never wanted to picture that but no one's ever been able to prove that or corroborate it because he's always alone he's always alone and then after sex i say say to the girl, Oh, thank you! And by girl, he means a blow-up doll. Yes. Before we get off on too many tangents. Thank you, Mattel. Mattelda. That's his girlfriend, Mattelda.

Do you, I understand you want to set the story straight, set the record straight about Robert Wagner. Yes, Robert Wagner was here and Gilbert brought up the story that I had told him. Yes. And I can tell you. No, no, I had gotten it from him. Okay. He used your name though.

Yes, he did. He used your name. I was shocked. So I go out for drinks with Robert Wagner and Jill St. John. Okay, this is the story. This is the back story. Yes, this is the back story. is the backstory. This is the backstory. And we're sitting there, and I can tell you,

I know what the temperature felt like. I know where we were sitting in the cocktail lounge where we had these drinks. And, you know, when I think of Robert Wagner, I think of the prim and proper gentleman, you know. And then I hear him swearing, and I love it because he's just a real guy. Sure.

So he tells me, he said uh you know one time and jill st john's sitting right there one of my i loved her in batman in the bond movies and he said you know once she uh she broke her her pelvis area and she had a cast up beneath her breasts and he said you know she's got great tits anyway they looked so spectacular so he denies that he told me that story i know he told me that story he acted like totally like no i never met well we have a clip of what he said ah you're in luck i have a clip great now a friend of ours, Gino, told me a story. You told him. I think Jill St. John got into some accident where she had to have a body cast. Like, yeah, she had some kind of body cast, Jill St. John.

And you liked the way she looked. I haven't heard this one. Gilbert, did you dream this? Let me hear the rest. This is a dream Gilbert had, Robert. She was in a body... Wait a minute. She was in a body cast, and I did what?

Okay. According to the story, Gino said... You sure we got the right actor? Yeah. You sure it was Robert Wagner? Here's my favorite part. Who is Gino?

Who is Gino? Who is Gino? A friend of ours. No, you were complimenting the way her breasts looked in his cast. You know, I think Gino is maybe dicking around with us. Okay, that goes on the blooper reel, Robert. What an honor. That to me is What an honor. That, to me, is a great honor.

I sent you a preview of it. Yes. I love it. R.J. Wagner says you a dick in her arm. It doesn't get better than that. No, it doesn't. It doesn't.

Now we gotta have him back. We gotta make this an ongoing thing. It was a horseback running action and I'll even tell you that. Okay. Yes.

Okay, next time we're gonna have R.J. and Jill Next time we're going to have RJ and Jill. And we're going to get to the bottom of this. Now I understand moving right along. You may have a Larry Linville story. Yes. Do you remember Larry Linville Major Burns?

So I booked him near the end of his life. Give our listeners a little context. You used to book celebrity autograph shows. Yes. But this was not an autograph show. It was a Catholic breakfast and fundraiser. Okay.

I go to a lot of those. Yeah, if they were offended, boy, I can imagine what you would do. So they have Father Mulcahy and Pedro Burns. William Christopher and Larry Linville. So it's a priest who's hosting the breakfast. He brings up William Christopher, Father Mulcahy, and he gives him a gift. And William Christopher opens it and goes, oh, thank you. It's such a pleasure being here.

Beautiful. Now up comes Larry Linville. He hands him a box. He opens the box, and it's got golf towels in it. And the priest said to Larry Linville, do you golf? you golf he said no but i'll use them to dry my balls to complete silence there were nuns and priests that filled this breakfast i love larry linville i, there's a guy who committed. Wow.

I'll use them to drive my balls. Are you saving those for the end of the show? Oh, sure. Oh, no, we can do it right now. Okay. Oh, a gift. All right, this was for the studio. This is a picture. We're in an audio medium, so Gilbert's going to describe what this is.

Okay. Here, let me put on my glasses. Wow, your vision's good. If you can't even see an 8x10 and know who it is. Oh, it's Forrest Tucker. That's right. So I just got to see what it says. I don't even know what it says.

I know it was autographed by him, but I thought that should hang in the studio. I'm going to take that home with me. Okay, you can take it home with you. Somebody here will steal it. Yes. You can take that home with me. Okay, you can take it home with you. Somebody here will steal it. Yes. You can take it home with you. And Gilbert won't appreciate it. For the other part of the dynamic duo.

There you go, Gil. It's a lobby card. Milton Berle and Virginia Mayo always leave him laughing. With Burt Lahr. You know what's interesting? If anyone says Gilbert's not a good actor, he's feigning interest and delight with this. Of course. You know what's going to happen, Frank.

It goes in the bottom of the closet. Right in the closet. So this is a double whammy of Uncle Miltie and Forrest Tucker. I thought it had to be done. You put some thought into this. I did. I'm taking them both. Okay.

I'm moving right along. Yes. The Gino Greatest Hits. Okay. I'm moving right along. Yes. The Geno greatest hits. You told me on the phone that you had a Gilligan's Island booking. You did a Gilligan's Island event. Right. That was one of your most successful. Yes.

Over 10,000 people showed up to meet Bob Denver and Alan Hale Jr. That is pretty cool. It was great. And as you've explained on previous shows, you and Alan were very close. Yes. And Bob. And you were close to Bob Denver. what is the saddest booking story and do you need music for this hit the music frankie this is this is a tv show that i don't even know if gilbert would

have watched this show but i know a lot of us did it's the beloved green acres oh yeah all right so i get a call from we'll get a little backdrop yes I get a call from... We'll get a little backdrop on this. Yes. I get a call from a hotel. They want to do Nostalgia Night at their lounge on the top of the hotel. So they ask me to book Alvy Moore, who was County Agent Hank Kimball.

Hank Kimball. Or County Kimball Hank Agent, as he would say sometimes. And Tom Lester, who was Eb. Do you remember Eb, the hired hand? Jake, Mr. Douglas. Oh, okay. I already want to kill myself. Gilbert, honestly, we were high up.

I did want to open the window and jump out myself because the guy gets on the microphone. First of all, there's about eight people there. And I'm not exaggerating. Eight people. Oh! Ladies and gentlemen, here they are from hooterville it's tom lester and albie moore the music plays oh and this is all i hear in the background

one person applauding oh it was so painful and you know honestly i think that was one of the last bookings I did because I couldn't go back. How many people? Eight. I'm not kidding. In a place that held probably 300. And they were probably just there to get out of the rain or something. Oh my God.

Only one person was applauding, so I'm assuming. Did you stay in touch with Albie Moore? Oh, yes. No, really good guy. Nice guy? Yes. good guy. You knew all these people. You knew Bob Denver. You knew Tina Louise.

No, Tina I did not know. You didn't book Tina. No, because remember, Tina was not up for making money. I misspoke, but you were friends with Dawn and Russell Johnson and Alan Hale and Grandpa Lewis and Butch Patrick who we've talked about on our previous show. You want to tell the Al Lewis getting in the airport again real quickly for our friend John Fodiatis?

I didn't know this happened, but Bob Denver called me and said, Bob and Al Lewis booked at the same place. Wow. He said, you're not going to believe what Al did at the airport. I said, what happened? He said, about 400 people show up at the gate. We walk off. They're staring at us. They start applauding. And there's a silence and Al goes, where are the

star fuckers? For the stogie. Yes. That one's for you, John. Okay. Is there a Red Fox story? No.

Now you're turning into Robin Wagner. I don't know whoever told you that, Frank, but they're dicking you around. They're dicking you around. Is there a... Before I go on, why don't you tell us how resentful you are that Gilbert gets gifts from fans.

It is so sickening to me, and this is spread. Every week I'm listening and I hear, oh, we have some gifts for you. Now, it happened again tonight. Frank, who put in 27 hours on one guest, gets a calendar, and Gilbert gets this huge box with an action figure that will never see the light of day. No, no, no. If anything he'll use it as a booster seat. He'll use it as he said to take my Milton Berle lobby card and throw it in the back of the closet. Now it gets worse okay I'm sickened by this all the time and he is not good to

me. Everyone thinks he's such a nice guy now who thinks that a couple years ago a friend of mine died and shockingly for the first time ever gilbert on the phone call is was actually really nice and caring uh the next day he started my friend's name was John, and he would call me a senor Wences. Yeah, yeah. Hey, hello, John. John, are you dead? I am dead. Do you want me to put you in the coffin?

Put me in the coffin. Should I close the lid on the coffin? Close the lid on the coffin. Is the coffin on the coffin. Close the lid on the coffin. Is the coffin closed? What would make you say he's not a nice guy? Funny once, right? Funny once. Very funny.

Might be funny four or five times. The 10,000th time? Yeah. The 10,000th? Yes. And then, one of the last times I was in New York, I took him out for dinner. And we had a waitress.

And I'm going to make this, I'm sorry it's politically incorrect, but it's the facts. This is what happened. It's okay. It was an Asian waitress. No one's listening. Right. Well, she was listening because she was listening to our conversation. Okay. Yeah. And it should have been played by Mickey Rooney.

So Gilbert, do you want to say what happened when she was eavesdropping? Yeah, yeah, we were sitting there and the waitress comes over, we're talking and she says to Gino,

don't be so mean to him. Why don't be so mean to him. Why you gotta be so mean? Were you being mean to him? I guess I was. In her mind, she heard that. And then she kept giving me dirty looks when she'd come to the table because I'm mean to Gilbert. Now I'm going to say something politically incorrect.

Possibly he was in mid-squint and she thought he was a countryman. She's clearly not on Twitter. She's not. She thought maybe. Well, you know why you're right about that? It was someone she served a cocktail to in Okinawa. Because years ago, now I'm going to go against my own people. I took him to anian restaurant in little italy and the owner sees gilbert and he keeps looking at him and he

calls me over and he said to me in italian he said is that that chinese guy Hilarious. I had some woman at a restaurant say, I know who you are. You're Mr. Moriaki. You're kidding. Who's Mr. Moriaki? No, Karate Kid is what she is. Pat Morita. Miyagi.

Miyagi. Mr. Miyagi. She thought you were Pat Morita? Yes, yes. Because she saw him using his hands, doing wax on and wax off. Oh, Jesus. All right. Moving right along.

I'm glad your hatred for him is as strong as it is in previous episodes. I love this guy. I know you do. He's one of my closest friends, but I also hate him. It's a loving hate. It's a loving hate. It is a loving hate. Who else would drive three flipping hours in a day to go have lunch with us? To Appleton, Wisconsin.

To Appleton, Wisconsin. That's friendship. Yep. Is there a... I feel myself. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost?

Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box van? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines?

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant

accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debre, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Should we get back to the Red Fox story? Well, you and I were on the phone talking about the Red Fox Gary Shandling story. Which I had heard Billy Crystal tell as if it happened to him. Right, but Gary Shandling told me personally that that happened to him.

Do you know the story? Yeah, because Gary Shandling told me. Yeah, because Gary Shandling told me. He said, you know, you know, I was going to tell you about Red Fox. Everybody knows this story. We've told it before.

But it's about Red Fox at Vegas. It comes on stage and there's seven people in the house. If you don't know it, we'll tell it on a future show. Is there a Maury Amsterdam story? Have you prepared that one? Yes. Okay, great.

He was the sweetest guy. Every time I was in L.A., I would call him, and he'd say, Come on over for a cup of coffee, and he would tell me stories all night. So I found out that Sid Melton used to be so annoyed when people would confuse him for Maury Amsterdam and Gilbert was on Conan O'Brien and he did this joke just for me because nobody else would have got it.

He's talking about Maury Amsterdam and he goes come on, you know him from Make Room for Daddy. And he was using Sid's credits. Fantastic. Love it. Just for you. He's was using since credits. Fantastic. Love it. Just for you.

He's on the Conan O'Brien show and playing to an audience of one. You have to admire that. That's big for me. But then he would never tell me when he was going to be on a show.

He'd tell me after. So by chance, I happened to see that one. What's the Maury story? The Maury story? The Maury Amsterdam story? That is the Maury Amsterdam story? No, that he. What's the Maury story? The Maury story? The Maury Amsterdam story. That is the Maury Amsterdam story? No, that he used the confusion between Maury and Sid.

Yes. I got you. Yes. I got you. You want to tell the Sid Melton story again quick? Well, we would call Sid, and Sid would sound like he was near death, like a near death Elmer Fudd. Yes.

He would answer the phone. Oh. Hey, Sid, it's Gino and Gilbert. Oh, hi, guys. He'd spring to life. Yes. Okay. And he lived.

This gets worse, by the way. Every time he tells it, it becomes more of a small house, like he was living in Squalor. It can't be sadder than Chubbsy Ubsy with a peace stain. It wasn't. It was Joe Cobb. Oh, Joe Cobb. Remember, we caught a lot of controversy. Not Chubbsy Ubsy.

All it needs now is music by Hans-Jay Solter from the Universal Horror Films. He lived like two blocks from an in-and-out burger and and it was right by the airport you could like walk into the airport from his house if you climbed out the window you'd be at the airport so you'd hear play you know the house would rumble. There was no step up. It was like the door opened right to the ground. That's right. You were in the living room as soon as you opened the door. Yeah.

So the minute it rained, his living room would come flying. And then again, Gilbert, the investigative reporter, we did not know he was, on the phone. Okay, I'm you. You're Sid. Are you ready? Okay. Sid, I want to ask you a story about Danny Thomas. Okay.

He didn't even get Danny Thomas out. And Sid said, oh, it's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. Great. Classic. Classic. Do you want to do the M true. It's true. Great. Classic. Classic.

Do you want to do the munchkin story? Yes. Okay. And then we'll move on to Mr. T. Okay. Now, this starts as a very, very tragic story. Carl Slover, who's one of the munchkins, was sold by his family to one of these troops of little people. Oh!

I know. More heartbreak. And he is the sweetest guy, and here he was when I had him on the radio singing the Wizard of Oz theme. And if you could step up to that mic, Carl, we'd love to hear it for our listeners. We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.

You'll find he is a wizard of a wiz. If ever a wiz there was, if ever a wiz there was, if ever a wizard there was, the wizard of wiz is one because, because, because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things she does.

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of wiz. How adorable is that? That is beautiful. How old was the man at that point? It is 80s. That's beautiful. So I was with Carl at the Hollywood Autograph Show and all of a sudden

someone walked up and it's I've heard he's in the adult film industry. I mean, I wouldn't know personally. Of course. His name is Ron Jami Jeremy something. Anyway anyway he wanted his picture with carl slover hang on the hedgehog wanted his picture with a munchkin yes okay and i have this

picture at home somewhere and i'll try to get it we can put it up on the listener society let's it's a group of my friends ron jeremy and the littleunchkin, the sweet little munchkin who you just heard singing. Who was sullied posing with Ron Jeremy. And this is fact. I'm not being mean because I made money for these people. I love the munchkins.

But Carl, the only thing that kept growing on him was his ears. Yeah, you sent me a picture. Yes, so he was tiny, but his ears were almost the size of his head. But a sweeter guy, there couldn't be. And you said, I don't know if it was the mayor of the Munchkins

or whatever, that you visited one and he was complaining about how constipated. No, it's always Jerry Maron. Jerry Maron, the lollipop kid, he called me from Pittsburgh. He'd been there for three days, and I said, how's it going? He said, I can't crap.

But did he say it in a cute munchkin voice? No, like that. Because when you haven't gone to the bathroom for three days, that's how you talk. I can't crap. By the way, in preparation for this, I listened to the last two episodes you did, and you opened a story by saying, so I booked the Munchkins into Pittsburgh. And Gilbert said, you're the only person alive that could make that decision. No, that's not what he said.

You're being nice again. What did he say? He said, I would kill myself if I were you. If I had to say that, that's my extended show business. I would kill myself. Okay. Moving along. A Mr. T anecdote.

Mr. T. Now, I get asked by a friend to cover some publicity dates with Mr. T. And so we go to North Carolina, and I'm carrying the gold in a gym bag. He has gold chains, a gold knife, a gold fork, a spoon, and a plate. Okay. That he would wear around his neck, but, you know, he couldn't wear it all the time, so I would carry this. They gave me $200 a day, take him wherever he wants to eat, every day, and he insisted I call him T. I said, T, where do you want to go?

KFC. We went to KFC in a limo every day, and I would pick up the order and bring it back we get back and it's north carolina in the summertime it's about and i'm not exaggerating that it's over 100 degrees okay and humid okay i said what do you want to do he goes let's go in a hot tub i want to go in a hot tub so the only moment of in my life that a photo I wish I had, there I am sitting in a hot tub with Mr. T. With a bucket of chicken? That's in the limo.

And the limo had to have a moonroof sunroof on top because he hated air conditioning. And then a week after it happened, I get home. There's a big box arrives. And I think I mentioned this before, but there's a black satin jacket with his head on the back. It says Mr. T's T-Force and my name, Gino. Wow. Yes, in person.

Oh, man. What a guy. I know. What a guy, Mr. T. I love Mr. T. Wow. He would always, no matter what I'd say, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it. He just keeps saying that over and over. Like the sugar smacks frog. Did Henry Winkler?

I don't know if they ever worked together, Gilbert. That's a good question. Did you sit on his lap like Nancy Reagan? That's right. Okay. That song of Mr. T's for Mother's Day. We just had Mother's Day recently. Let's hear it. Frank, do you have Mr. T?

Twelve, you couldn't be more than five. You're so fat they have to jack you up to take off your shoes. Yeah, well, you're so skinny your eyes are in single file. Well, you're so ugly your ears stick out to get away from your face. Well, your mama is so... Hold it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Don't bring anyone mothering to this. She ain't here. If it wasn't is so... Hold it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't bring anyone mother into this. She ain't here. If it wasn't for your mother, you wouldn't be here. So, remember when you put down one mother, you're putting down mothers all over the world. Wait till you hear these lyrics. Perfect timing. Listen. Treat her right, treat your mother right Mother, there is no other like mother

So treat her right, mother I'm a slumber, I'm mother So treat her right What else rhymes with mother? I saved my brother There is no mother So treat her right Treat her right Empty for the moan And the miserable groan From the pain that she felt

When I was alone Always for the oven With the burning heat Where she stood making sure I had something to eat Tears for the time Did you sing this in the hot tub? Burning heat. Where she stood making sure I had something to eat. T is for the time. Did you sing this in the hot tub?

What a shame. What a letdown. H is for the hard earned money she spent. I think we got the idea. What gets me. Mr. T's Mother's Day song. When he gets to letter T, his face already says, oh, fuck. I got to go all the way through this. And I'm only up to T.

Dig it. Dig it. Dig it. So you liked him. I still do. Take it up with Belzer. Love Mr. T. Mother, I'm a fan of Sally Strother.

You know, somebody wrote that and probably has a gold record on their wall. I know. Hilarious. All right, we're going to close with a Sylvester Stallone story. Okay, now of all the stereo, excuse me. Oh, wait, wait. You got to tell a story about the PR guy. Huh? The PR guy. Oh, not the PR guy. Huh? The PR guy.

Oh, not the PR guy. Oh, why must you do this to me? Yes. The PR woman. Well, because I know it hurts you and makes you uncomfortable. I'm glad this is on the record of how you treat me.

I go to interview Keanu Reeves for John Wick 3. His publicist happens to be the publicist of Sandra Bullock. Oh. And she's very nice when she sees me. Hi, Gino. Hi.

I have a big smile on my face. She said, how's Gilbert? And he's fine. I think I know where this is about to go. She said, you know, Sandy just loves Gilbert. And I must have made a wince on my face because she said, why did you make that face? I said, because that hurts me like you'll never understand. That's still stuck in your craw.

It's still, this is, you know, it shows how stupid I am. Someone else would not share that story with him. I share it with him and then he shoves it right up my culo with every chance he gets. You feed the monster. I know. You should have learned by now. I know. Let's do the Sly Stallone story because I know how Gilbert's going to take us out.

I know what Clippy's going to call for at the very end. Alright, now Gilbert, do you know you tell the Danny Thomas story, you tell the Cesar Romero story. We don't know if these stories are true. This allegedly... I think we know if they're true. Oh yeah. It's true.

This allegedly happened. You can yeah. It's true. All true. This allegedly happened. And you can find it on the internet. Sylvester Stallone making a movie. Apparently, the mic is still on him or in the trailer when he's having sex with an extra. And he keeps saying over and over again, cradle of balls. Cradle of balls. Stroke the shaft.

Now, apparently, all the sound guys were listening i was told allegedly that there were t-shirts made that said cradle of balls and i was shocked that that story had not been told on this podcast which tells these kind of stories all the time gilbert you're falling down on the job. How have you not told this story? I heard also, when I heard this story, I heard they would say like, okay, we're going to do scene one, scene one. And okay, let's have, like the other people on the set would all start saying that and say,

okay, everyone in your spots, in your spots. They'd say cradle the balls. Do it again, Gino. Cradle the balls. That's beautiful. Stroke the chef. We had Erwin Winkler here who made the Rocky movies. We never mentioned it.

Not once. In fact, one time they had a tape. Oh, no. Henry Winkler. All right. We're not going down that street. Don't go down that road. Cradle the ball straight. See what happens now

We'll never get Henry back. I was going to say for all the celebrities out there who are thinking of guesting on this show, you know, you're fine up until you guest and once he's used you, then you're done. That's my life story. In fact, we have a tape

of Paul Williams saying, Crackle the bolts. Crackle the bolts. Wouldn't he say testicles because there are more syllables? Crackle the testicles. Tic-tac-tickles, because there are more syllables. Crack-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick. While wearing the Planet of the Apes makeup.

Yes! All right, Gilbert. If Frank was paying any attention, because Gino's here, he would know what clip he would have at the ready. No, no. Crack-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick. That's here, he would know what clip he would have at the ready. No, no. Cradle my balls. That's good, too. He takes on a whole new meaning.

He really does. And that slow motion shot at the end. Cradle the balls. You know the words. Cradle the balls. Cradle the balls. Hilarious. Don't forget the shafts.

Erwin Wiggler never brought it up. What was he going to end with? I don't know where you're going on this. Well, the piece of tape that he always calls for when Chino's here. Come on, come on, the Sandra Bullock tape. I think we should leave Rocky going. Hold on.

We made it almost through the whole show without hearing that. I'm sorry I brought it up. We could have rapped. He wouldn't have known. Well, I wanted to be nice. That'll be the day. Oh, he mixed them. No, play it by itself.

She said she'll cradle the ball. Frank, Frank, I want one clear one of her saying, I'm so turned on, I will fuck you. We have to have that. This is Sandra Bullock saying, okay, ready? I'm so turned on right now. I am so turned on right now. Oh, my God. You are brilliant.

Come here. I will fuck you. Yeah. Sandra Bullock talking to me in case you didn't know, Gino. Gino, if it makes you feel better, we have a similar recording of Jim J. Bullock saying it about you. Jim J. Bullock. And Gilbert's response, as I said earlier Oh yes Oh yes

Oh yes You know when Rocky was done He turned to Gino and he said Frank's the best I thought he was going for Tommy Lee Jones I did too You want to sign off Mr. Gottfried and say goodbye to this man What an entertaining fellow you are Salamone I adore you You want to sign off, Mr. Godfrey, and say goodbye to this man?

What an entertaining fellow you are, Salamone. I adore you. I would love to say goodbye to this man. Give Pam our love. Thank you. Do you want to say goodbye to this man? Goodbye to this man. Goodbye to this man.

Are you dead? I am dead. Should I cremate you? You cremate me. Are the ashes getting in your mouth? He's having a stroke. Gino's having a myocardial infarction.

Gino, thanks for coming, Val. We adore you. Gilbert and Frank's amazing Colossal Obsessions with Gino Salamone, who got me another gift. Sucker. Thanks, Val. Thank you. Come back again. I will. Thank you.

Thank you. Colossal Obsessions