Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini #222: Dara's Mom's Record Collection

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

This week: J. Fred Muggs! "Blackboard Jungle"! The brilliance of Charles Fox! Krusty the Clown sings! And the gang bids a fond farewell to Doris Day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Insurance should be too. Contact a licensed TD Insurance advisor to learn more. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-hosts, Frank Santopadre and Dara Gottfried. And I'm here with skinless, blind, armless, legless, Munchausen syndrome by proxy, Albert Decker disorder, Raybon Paul's back Hi Paul That's an introduction Like we give our guests On the show Paul I'm straight

As they come But for a skinless guy You're a handsome individual I appreciate that I appreciate that I just wanted to You know I wanted to say

Give a shout out To three of the Earwolf guys here Jared O'Connell Casey Holford And Dave Seidel Who helped us set up a keyboard for an episode

you guys will hear with Charles Fox, which was terrific. And they did Yeoman work, which we appreciate. And Verda Rosa got it all wired up, and it was important, because Charles has written many wonderful hits. And how else could Gilbert sing the hits from Zapped? Oh my God!

It was a terrific show. He said he wouldn't come on if I sang his songs. Not only did he let me sing his songs, he played accompaniment on the piano. He did. And he was, like, totally into it. He was. He wasn't just fooling around for comic purposes. Although he hasn't written me back since I...

No. The jury's out. I would also say that was one of gilbert's finest vocal performances my opinion it was and believe it or not i'm actually 70. so so dara's back paul's with her this time uh dara's back by popular demand because people loved the what do we call the last one dara cd collection yeah because she couldn't find her 45s so we sent her back out into the jungle

to find her actual physical 45s, which were where? At your mom's house? No, actually, they were in, I have a stack, but they're my mom's,

my mom's 45s. They're your mom's 45s. Exactly. Oh, good, so we're going back. We're going way back. Now, once again, Gilbert and I do not know.

Yes. Do you know what these songs are? No. Okay, I don't either. I sound like Kreskin. We've never met. That's right.

And we have, Gilbert and I are going to guess, hopefully in a couple of notes, Paul has done research on them. So you have background information. I have some background information, but I didn't find out until just now that it was your mother's 45s. Oh, yeah, this is my mother's. That explains a lot. Yeah. Or you would have turned the gig down? Yeah, right.

Just as a little background, my mother, Heather Kravitz, was born in 1946. Okay. Okay. So, and this was her record collection. And I basically have a big stack in the closet. And I just grabbed- Are any of these yours? Or should we be calling this episode-

No, they're all my mom's. So, we have to call this Heather Kravitz's 45th record collection. Well, they're mine now, but I inherited them from my mother. We'll call it Dara and Mom's record collection. There you go. But I basically just randomly grabbed a handful of them. Fantastic. So Gilbert and I will guess.

We'll try to get this in in the tight 30 minutes, and here we go. You want to kick it off? Kick it off. Number one. Thank you, Frankie. All right. So number one. No, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't tell us anything. We have to hear the music first. Jesus Christ What the fuck Paul Come on Paul You're here for the fact I was gonna You have to listen

On a piece of paper Of course you know I was gonna give An elegant introduction Shut the fuck up Paul Alright Frankie Welcome back to the show Go ahead What the fuck, Paul? All right, Frankie. Welcome back to the show. Go ahead.

Gil, this is your era. Oh, my papa. You are so wonderful. Oh my papa. To me you are so grand. Oh my papa. So gentle and so wonderful Oh my papa

I think we got it. Yeah. Eddie Fisher. Eddie Fisher. Eddie Fisher. Very good. Eddie Fisher for one, but Krusty the Clown did it.

This thing was covered by a hundred different people. Yeah, tell us some. Okay, here's some. Since its debut, it was published in 1939, which was before your mother was alive, actually. And so anyway, here's some of the people who've covered the song. Liz Asiya, Alan Breeze, Billy Cotton, Billy Vaughn, the Everly Brothers, Harry James, Guy Mitchell,

Malcolm Vaughn Susie and the Banshees Oh wow Wow Which is an interesting one And it's mentioned It's quoted in Frank Zappa's song

Billy the Mountain And perhaps The best rendition of all It is sung in The Simpsons by Yes, Krusty the Crown Krusty the Clown Krusty the Clown

The Crown Sings it in the Jackie Mason episode Yeah Jackie plays Rabbi Krustofsky the episode's called Like Father Like Clown nice work

Dara it was number one hit in 1954 and it was originally a German a nostalgic German song called Mein Papa I love this

research and stereo yes Dara's gonna catch the Munchausen but wait one more there was actually a television show that featured it.

Really? Yeah. What show? Gomer Pyle. Oh, wow. Okay, in addition to The Simpsons. There you go. Eddie Fisher.

Was that Eddie Fisher's big hit? That was his big hit. I think so. That was his signature hit. Yeah. Nice work, Gil. Okay, number two. Okay.

Now, number two. Now, I'm going to wait for Paul to ruin it before I say it. Thank you, Heather Kravitz. We have an opportunity. Here we go. Yeah, this is Doris Day. Good job. Case, hurrah, hurrah.

Perfect timing. Just lost her a couple of weeks Ah, perfect timing. I asked my mother, what will I be? Just lost her a couple of weeks ago. He did. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me. Que suerte!

Where will she be? Where will she be? The future's not ours to see. She said I'm a rock. God damn you, Gilbert. I can kill my ears. What will be, will be. God, Gilbert. As my high school band teacher used to say, you're subtle like a brick.

And fell in love. I guess you know this one. Wow. All right, Mr. Gottfried. Well, who knows? You guys have little information in front of you, so I'm not going to ask you. Gil, what movie is this from? Exactly.

What movie was it used in? Doris Day sang it in the movie. Not a comedy, not a love story. Schindler's List. Wrong. Oh, wait. Was it the James Cagney one? No.

No? Give up? Oh. Give up. Was it James Cagney one, Love Me or Leave Me? Yeah, I think so. This was The Man Who Knew Too up? Oh. Give up. Was it James Cagney in Love Me or Leave Me? Yeah, I think so. This was The Man Who Knew Too Much.

Oh. Hitchcock. Alfred Hitchcock. I have another one, though. You do? The Barefoot Contessa. Really? Yeah.

Was she definitely saying... Oh, wait, wait, wait. The phrase Que Sera Sera came from the movie The Barefoot Contessa. Yeah, she definitely sings it in The Man Who Knew Too Much.

The remake, not the Peter Lorre version. Yeah. The Jimmy Stewart version. And it also, in 1956, won the Oscar for Best Song. It sure did. Yes. Yes. Pay attention to 1956.

That's going to come up again. Okay. By the way, is it possible for someone to die twice because Doris Day just died again, Gilbert? Oh, yeah. After you weighed in. Well, it happened to Julie Andrews. Yeah. She was actually not dead.

She was hanging on by a thread. You sang it. Put her over the top. We'll keep moving on in the interest of time. This was also in what Simpsons episode? Was it in a Simpsons episode? Simpsons episode Bart's Comet. Sung by several characters as they wait for a comet to destroy Springfield.

Very good, Paul. You surprised me. All right. The next. All right, Francis. For a guy with no skin. Yeah. I know.

This next one is sung by, oh, I'm sorry. That's Paul's gig. Don't take Paul's gig. I'll get that. I'll take care of that, Frank. Oh, I should know this. On a day like today. It's Pat Boone.

We passed the time. Is this Love Letters in the Sand? Good job, Frank. Love Letters in the Sand? Good job, Frank. Love letters in the sand. I love you, Gilbert. How you laughed when I cried. Each time I saw the tide. Wow. Take our love letters

From the sand Had Boone, who sang every white, colorless, bloodless version of every rock and roll song. Like I loved. We'll have to play it on another episode, side by side, with, you know, Rudy Tootie. Oh, his Tootie Fruity version. Oh, Rudy. Pat Boone was the... Who wrote Love Letters in the Sand?

This is going to turn out to be interesting. I know. It's somebody you know. Somebody I know personally? Whoopi Goldberg? Yeah. Gilbert will recognize me, too. John Ritter.

Close. Very close. You mean who wrote the lyrics or the music? Who wrote the music? Oh, boy. The lyrics were Nick Kenny and Charles Kenny. The music was written by, are you ready? Give me a year.

Sammy Kahn. No, what is the year? Let's see here. It was written in 1931. 1931 1931 right wow based inspired by the 1881 spanish cavalier xavier cougat no idea j fred coots j fred wow sure yeah who also wrote J. Fred Coots. Is that ringing a bell? Wow. J. Fred Coots.

Yes. Who also wrote... J. Fred Muggs. I know. That was the chimp on the Today Show. That's what I was thinking of. That's a totally different guy. Are we going back to...

I thought... I didn't know the last name was Coots. No. J. Fred Muggs was a chimpanzee on a talk show. Are we going back? On Dave Garroway. Didn't we do chimpanzees tonight? A chimp performed cunnilingus on Dave Garroway.

But those were more innocent times. Oh, they were. They really were. Perfect for a Pat Boone accompaniment. Perfect for a Pat Boone accompaniment. J. Fred Coots wrote the classic Christmas carol, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. And he also wrote, nobody will know this one.

I don't know if you guys know this. Do you know the song, You Go to My Head? Sure. Yeah. Very nice romantic jazz song. He wrote that too. J. Fred Coots. A little bit different from Love Letters and the Saints.

J. Fred Muggs named. J. Fred Coots. A little bit different from Love Letters and the Saints. J. Fred Muggs named after J. Fred Coots. And it spent five weeks at number one on the Billboard Top 100 chart during the late June and July 1957. Pat Boone's still around. And his daughter had a number one hit, a mega hit. You Light Up

My Life. Oh yeah, that's right. Which was a song to Jesus. Written by a guy who was busted for killing, for rape. Yes, yes. Joe Brooks, yeah.

I don't want to bring this show down. Okay. What else you have, Frank? I know, now it hurts getting interested. Heather has some

eclectic tastes. Yes. This is a great song written by the one and only jay fred coots okay oh Whatcha do to me, hot diggity dog diggity, oh whatcha do to me? Me tight. Never dreamed anybody could kiss that away.

Bring me bliss that away. Nobody sounds like Barry Como. What a wonderful feeling to feel that away. Tell me where have you been all my life? Oh, hot diggity dog digggity, oh, what you do to me? You're so new to me. What you do to me? Hot diggity, dog diggity, oh, what you do to me? When you're holding me tight.

Wow. You're getting all these. Yeah. These are standards. These are classic songs. There's one story I heard where they spoke to one of Groucho Marx's wives, and she made a snide, insulting remark about Perry Como. Then the reporter asked Perry Como what he thought of her remark, and he said, well, she just doesn't like Italians. And he said, well, she just doesn't like Italians.

And so the reporter asked Groucho, and Groucho said, that's not true. She likes my brother Chico, and he's Italian. That's funny. My mother's mother, my grandmother, so disapproved of her marrying my father that she actually said, you should have married Perry Como. And my mother said, I don't know Perry Como. That's amazing. Story stayed in the family for years. That's amazing.

So do you know where the phrase hot diggity dog came from? I do not. J. Fred Coots? There you go. Okay. So it dates to at least 1928 when Al Jolson was recording. Gil. Recorded saying, hot diggity dog, hot kitty, hot pussycat.

Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you you'd love it? After performance of the tune, there's a rainbow around my shoulder. Wow. That's very disturbing. Take that to the bank. The line, ooh, what you do to me was written by one of Cesar Romero's pool boys. Exactly.

Ooh, what you do to me. And that's also what Al Jolson would scream out when he came. I didn't know that. Hot diggity? Hot diggity dog. Hot diggity dog. So have you ever heard of a web TV show called Doom Patrol? Sure.

It's an outgrowth of DC Comics, right? Some sort? Yes. There was a recent episode in which a giant balloon shaped like buttocks was launched into the air playing a song. Wait a minute. It gets better. Okay. Playing a song on an attached jukebox, playing this song on an attached jukebox reportedly sending people insane

within 20 minutes. Wow. I don't know which anecdote I like better. He found much different information than me. Vote on best anecdote. He's finding much different information.

The buttock-shaped balloon or Al Jolson ejaculating. Yeah. Al Jolson, Al Jolson, when he would get a blowjob backstage from, would go, hat diggity dog diggity. They were simpler times. Yes.

Or more innocent times. What else? And the depression was going on. Oh, my God. I love it. going on we will return to gilbert gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this this episode is brought to you by fx's the bear on disney plus in season three car me and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade a michelinin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson

is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. Spring is here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered, a cabana, that's a no, What else you got there, Frank? Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details.

What else you got there, Frank? One, two, three. Wow. Well, I see that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Come on. Okay.

You could have taken that one out. That one we could have let Paul answer. Yes. You know, it's... Bill Haley and the Comets. You bet. Good job, Gilbert. You bet. That's right.

You know what's interesting is how many, how associated that song is with Happy Days. Yes. And how many guests we've had from Happy Days. Oh my God. We had Donnie Most. We had the Fonz, Henry. We had Marion Ross, Mrs. C.

And now we've had Charles Fox, who wrote the damn theme song. And what's wild is all the songs we've heard tonight are written by Charles Fox. I didn't know that. Not J. Fred Poots. J. Fred Poots. Are you sure? We're not digging it down. Are you sure?

What Charles didn't say, too, when he was here, is that when they were writing the Happy Days theme, Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, Tuesday, they were inspired by that Bill Haley used the clock, so they went to the calendar. Oh, wow. That's great. The late Norman Gimbel, Charles' writing partner,

that's where he got the idea. Rock Around the Clock Was the theme song For what movie? American Graffiti Blackboard Jungle Blackboard Jungle Ding ding ding

He's right With Glenn Ford With Glenn Ford Sidney Poitier And former podcast guest Jamie Farr Wow It also had

Vic Morrow Yes Wow Yeah Spectacular Nice work Spectacular Jamie Farr. Wow. It also had Vic Morrow. Yes. Wow. Yeah. Spectacular. Nice work. Spectacular.

See, I got it wrong. Gilbert's on his game. What did you say? It's used in American Graffiti. American Graffiti. But it's not the theme song, as Gilbert correctly points out. Right. Yes. Nice work.

All right. I was hoping you'd get the podcast guest in there. You slid Jamie Farr right in there. Yes. That was nicely done So we're tracking your mother's life Really through these songs I guess so

Are you going in chronological order? I just randomly picked a couple 45s I can picture your mom now with a sock up Oddly enough, and I don't think you were looking for this They all circle right around 1956 That's true This one's 55. That's true.

There's a couple 57. Right. I guess that's when she was collecting 45s. Fascinating. She still has them. Yeah. I have them now. You physically have the 45s.

I physically have the 45s. This is too cool. How many are there? I have a stack. Do you have the little yellow, as Gilbert calls it, the little yellow swastika? Swastika. Yes, I do. All right.

Okay, next one. We'll keep going. Here it comes. How much is that vehicle in the front? Oh, let me guess. Is it the father of a podcast guest? Yes. Mickey Katz, father of former podcast guest Joel Craig.

And grandfather of... Jennifer White. Yeah. Jennifer. Or salami what's hard like a brick. But never eat pickles with ice cream. Cause ice cream and pickles don't mix. Gilbert's going to cover this.

So 1953. The great Mickey Katz. And Katz was most well known for his parodies, but he created more traditional klezmer music as well. He did a lot of stuff, as we pointed out, with Joel Grey. Yeah. Yeah. Now, there's something mysterious.

I looked him up. First, I found Mickey Katz, easy enough. I found the Joel Grey connection, but I searched. I was trying to find out if it's the right Mickey Katz. Yeah. How many Mickey Katzes were there that were recording? I don't know, but I searched all kinds of ways to get Katz and Gray in the same piece, and I never found it. Interesting.

So it's just very strange. Why should this be different than out of research? Did you know the Broadway musical Katz has absolutely nothing to do with Mickey Katz? I was not aware of that. Do you have that? Here's another thing I didn't know. Do you know Patty Page's song that would come up right now? Of course.

It's a parody of Patty Page's song. How much is that dog? Again, I tried to search. Another search failure. I tried to search everywhere to see those two tunes in the same page. Are you using a Univac computer from 1952? I've got a... He's still using the free AOL disc.

Willow can still have five extra hours on it. I thought Gilbert would appreciate a free disc. Gilbert, if you were approached to do a novelty record at this stage of your career,

I think you should cover how much is that Pickle of Heaven. That would be perfect. Or Alan Sherman's Don't Buy the Liverwurst. Oh, yeah. Now, there's one more song.

All right. One more song. Harvey and Sheila. Harvey and Sheila. Harvey and Sheila. This is fun. We've got one more. She works for A&P.

There's one more. I think Frank said that's all he's got. I got one more. He's got one more thing. We'll call this a bonus track. I'm a little distracted by storm warnings in here, but this is a bonus track. One extra. It's a boner track.

I'm going to make the AOL dial-up sound so Paul feels more at home. Hang on. Remember that? That was awful. Sure. What do you mean, remember it? You're still on it. Used it last week. Paul's on a Univac that was made in 1948.

But it's one for the money, two for the show. How would we know this one? Okay, I give up. Come on. This one's impossible. I did the research on this. It's Elvis Presley. No.

Yeah, it is. I don't think so. It's Andy Kaufman. And it was written and first recorded by? Carl Perkins. There you go. In 1955. Who do you think you're dealing with? Wow. Let's go cats

Mickey cats See See Gil He was flying bass Mickey cats And he goes Let's go cats And then Mickey would kick in on the klezmer

These were fun You have to make I think you have to pick harder ones next time. Oh, I could do that. I randomly just picked, but I could pick harder ones. But it's some of the ideas that go along with these tunes. Familiar tune, but did you know? Yes.

That Carl Perkins had a conversation with Johnny Cash, in which Cash talked about some military guy who had blue suede shoes, gave Carl Perkins the idea for the song. Interesting. That's a good one. And Carl Perkins had a story he told Johnny Cash that gave Johnny Cash the idea for I Walk the Line. How about that, Gil?

Yeah. Good job. That's some nifty research that Rayburn came up with at the last minute. Yeah. I spent hours coming up with that. When he's not giving away the answer. Paul, you saved the show. All right.

Can I rip through who's covered Blue Switch? What are we talking about? Quickly, because Frank's house is coming off of its foundation. Bill Haley. Bill Haley. Buddy Holly. The Dave Clark Five. The Beatles.

Plastic Ono Band. Albert King. I'm going to play the Oscars like wrap it up music There it is And there's more I think you forgot one What?

J. Fred Poots J. Fred Poots No, Coots Coots J. Fred Coots Right now I like Poots better

Right now at Frank Ferdarosa's house you'll hear Yes, we're recording. Coming up next week on part two of Songs That Exist. Great job, research team. I think we could go longer because Frank doesn't have a place

to go. Hey, look, there is no safer place than being in a constructed room within a building with, you know, I'm fine. It's just my kids might be in a tree. So this has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions with our guests. Well, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, Frank Santopadre, and our guests, Gottfried. And eyeless, eyelashless, eyelidless, eyebrowless, Raybone. I see what you mean. And eyeglassless, Raybone.

I'd like to dedicate this episode to J. Fred Poots. Yeah. Not Coots. Blue suede Poots. No, no. He had a bigger body of work. He had a much more impressive bodyots. Not Coots. Blue suede Poots. No, no. He had a bigger body of work. He had a much more impressive body of work than Coots. Poots over Coots. Who used to go down

on Dave Carroll. I'm surprised you didn't sing Santa Claus is Coming to Town. We'll do another one. I was looking forward to that. K-Santa, Santa Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera, what will be, will be. And fell in love I asked my sweetheart What lies ahead Will we have rainbows

Day after day Here's what my sweetheart said Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be. Now I have children of my own. They ask their mother, what will I be? their mother what will i be will i be handsome will i be rich i tell them tenderly whatever will be will be the future's not ours to see Que sera, sera What will be, will be

Que sera, sera